My computer has become sentient

[H Birchgrove]

My computer started on its own 03:00 AM. It can only mean one thing... Artificial intelligence. Skynet? Or a sign of a Cybermen/Cylon invasion? :smalleek:

Or maybe it has become remote-controlled by some meanie-meanie.* I have started the anti-virus search. :smallsigh:

* Could still be a sign of an alien invasion or Skynet... Dun dun dun. Dun Dun.

[jerriecan]

I vote for demonic possession. No way Bill Gates built Microsoft without some kind of underworld help... :smallbiggrin:

Jerriecan

[Brother Oni]

Or you have the BIOS option enabled that allows your keyboard/LAN to start up your machine and a family pet jumped on your keyboard/your computer received a remote startup signal.

Of course if your computer was turned off at the wall when it started up, it may be time to employ the services of a local priest.

[Eldan]

Actually, it was you. You had the subconscious desire to sit at your computer, so your psychokinetic powers turned it on for you. It's a wildly studied, but ultimately harmless phenomenon. I can link you a few studies if you want.

[Gaius Marius]

You have to tell us if your computer is regulary Possessed by Vista?


If so, you might need to proceed to an exorcist the way XKCD showed us.

[Eloel]

Actually, it was you. You had the subconscious desire to sit at your computer, so your psychokinetic powers turned it on for you. It's a wildly studied, but ultimately harmless phenomenon. I can link you a few studies if you want.

I'm trying to figure out if that's awesome or plain scary.

[LOTRfan]

Actually, it was you. You had the subconscious desire to sit at your computer, so your psychokinetic powers turned it on for you. It's a wildly studied, but ultimately harmless phenomenon. I can link you a few studies if you want.

Link, please. :smallbiggrin:

[valadil]

Or you have the BIOS option enabled that allows your keyboard/LAN to start up your machine and a family pet jumped on your keyboard/your computer received a remote startup signal.


Or wake-on-lan. That's another awesome BIOS setting. You can set up your computer so that when you send it a certain sequence of bits over the internet, it turns itself on.

[Gaius Marius]

Or wake-on-lan. That's another awesome BIOS setting. You can set up your computer so that when you send it a certain sequence of bits over the internet, it turns itself on.

Isn't that dangerous?

[Mazeburn]

Is it a laptop? Mine does that, every few nights. Usually I just leave it on standby, so my music starts playing the moment it wakes up. Epic power metal is freakin' scary at 4am. ;-;

[rakkoon]

Obligatory response
http://idisk.mac.com/chasm/Public/brockman-2.jpg
I for one, welcome our new computer overlords

[Gaius Marius]

Obligatory response
http://idisk.mac.com/chasm/Public/brockman-2.jpg
I for one, welcome our new computer overlords

And now we're gonna have a new government! With Blackjack! And hookers!

On second thought, forget the new government.

[Traab]

Hey it could be worse. My computer regularly refuses to turn OFF. I just hear, "I cant let you do that Dave" and then the next thing I know its morning! Ok, only the first part, about it not turning off is true, but its very very strange.

[valadil]

Isn't that dangerous?

How? Hypothetically someone could turn your computer on from afar. I guess it could be annoying if they kept doing it to you. The sequence of bits is very specific to your computer though. I suppose if your computer was a fire hazard you might not want it being turned on unsupervised, but in that case the computer is the problem, not WOL.

[Mauve Shirt]

I have mine set up so it turns itself back on and defrags on Wednesdays at 3 AM. Something similar perhaps?

[shawnhcorey]

I have mine set up so it turns itself back on and defrags on Wednesdays at 3 AM. Something similar perhaps?

Defrag? What's that. Is the another Windows users have to do like endless virus scans?

[grimbold]

you may want to call the Steve Jobs the Mighty

[Nameless Ghost]

My MP3 player has a habit of waking up temporarily while sleeping. It's probably having nightmares, poor thing. :smallfrown:

[MoonCat]

My MP3 player has a habit of waking up temporarily while sleeping. It's probably having nightmares, poor thing. :smallfrown:

Oh, the poor thing!

[Ranger Mattos]

Defrag? What's that. Is the another Windows users have to do like endless virus scans?

Yes, it is :smallannoyed: grumbleIshouldswitchtoLinuxgrumble

[grimbold]

Yes, it is :smallannoyed: grumbleIshouldswitchtoLinuxgrumble

i feel the same way buddy
we all have our windows to bear

[Traab]

Defrag? What's that. Is the another Windows users have to do like endless virus scans?

Its something most windows users have running in the background automatically. Thats both the virus scans and defragging. Hell, I dont even notice that I have either anymore. I love modern computers, the older ones you basically couldnt do diddly squat while either a defrag or a virus scan was running, it bogged everything down.

[ShortOne]

Mmm, Windoze. I love the smell of broken in the morning. :smallcool: /OS X/Ubuntu user

[Heliomance]

One of my friends has a computer which breaks the laws of thermodynamics. When you turned it on, the room got colder.

I apologise for the screeching tense change there. I'm not sure whether it still does it now he's in a different room.
Our best guess was that it generated a breeze which aimed straight out the window. Other than that, we couldn't think of anything.

[grimbold]

One of my friends has a computer which breaks the laws of thermodynamics. When you turned it on, the room got colder.
[/COLOR]

i suppose thats better than a computer that starts smoking when you turn it on
:smalleek:

[Cipher Stars]

My computer started on its own 03:00 AM. It can only mean one thing... Artificial intelligence. Skynet? Or a sign of a Cybermen/Cylon invasion? :smalleek:

Or maybe it has become remote-controlled by some meanie-meanie.* I have started the anti-virus search. :smallsigh:

* Could still be a sign of an alien invasion or Skynet... Dun dun dun. Dun Dun.


I remember when my computer did that. I told it I'd look at more porn if it stopped acting funny. Stopped the problem and even has a mild pleasing hum to it now as if it liked the idea.
(I am of course, joking)

[Killer Angel]

My computer started on its own 03:00 AM. It can only mean one thing... Artificial intelligence. Skynet? Or a sign of a Cybermen/Cylon invasion? :smalleek:


I remember a short novel, "LOKI 7281", written by Roger Zelazny.
R.Z.'s home computer is sentient. This was an accident but is also true of many of this Loki model who are now in the homes of many of the leading SF writers. The computer is rewriting his books to make them more salable. When the writer finds out he tries to destroy the machine. The machine, in concert with its siblings, plan to murder the writers and keep this secret. They will tell whoever is curious that the writers are off at an SF convention, somewhere.

The question is: by any chance, are you an SF writer? :smalltongue:

[Andre]

Well, the radio on one of my friends' car is quite surely possessed and has been like that for a while, but nothing life threatening yet.
It turns on and off on its own, and changes frequencies at whim every now and then. Also, it's impossible to change frequency or shut it off while it's broadcasting Onda Verde. Recently it is also probably trying to take over, it's impossible to start the car with the accension key if the radio is already functional.

[Eloel]

Well, the radio on one of my friends' car is quite surely possessed and has been like that for a while, but nothing life threatening yet.
It turns on and off on its own, and changes frequencies at whim every now and then. Also, it's impossible to change frequency or shut it off while it's broadcasting Onda Verde. Recently it is also probably trying to take over, it's impossible to start the car with the accension key if the radio is already functional.

:smalleek: Kill it. Kill it with fire!

[Andre]

He says he likes it.

This is the part where we welcome our new radio overlord, right? :smallsigh:

[H Birchgrove]

Or you have the BIOS option enabled that allows your keyboard/LAN to start up your machine and a family pet jumped on your keyboard/your computer received a remote startup signal.

Of course if your computer was turned off at the wall when it started up, it may be time to employ the services of a local priest.

It's possible that I had the computer on stand-by, but I could have sworn that I turned it off (but in such a way it remembered what I had previously done).

Just to be sure, I'm now turning of the electricity to the laptop every evening/night. :smallsigh:


Actually, it was you. You had the subconscious desire to sit at your computer, so your psychokinetic powers turned it on for you. It's a wildly studied, but ultimately harmless phenomenon. I can link you a few studies if you want.

:smalleek: Oh, noes!


Hey it could be worse. My computer regularly refuses to turn OFF. I just hear, "I cant let you do that Dave" and then the next thing I know its morning! Ok, only the first part, about it not turning off is true, but its very very strange.

Remember Windows 95? When the computer asked "Are you sure you want to turn off the computer?" Priceless.


I remember when my computer did that. I told it I'd look at more porn if it stopped acting funny. Stopped the problem and even has a mild pleasing hum to it now as if it liked the idea.
(I am of course, joking)
I love you. :smallamused:


I remember a short novel, "LOKI 7281", written by Roger Zelazny.
R.Z.'s home computer is sentient. This was an accident but is also true of many of this Loki model who are now in the homes of many of the leading SF writers. The computer is rewriting his books to make them more salable. When the writer finds out he tries to destroy the machine. The machine, in concert with its siblings, plan to murder the writers and keep this secret. They will tell whoever is curious that the writers are off at an SF convention, somewhere.

The question is: by any chance, are you an SF writer? :smalltongue:

Uh oh. :smalleek:

Not a very good one, I'm afraid: http://captain-sweden.deviantart.com/art/The-Mountain-Climber-198088780