Blatant Absurdities

[arguskos]

Specifically, ones you've found yourself committing. Let me show you what I mean. I just caught myself using a dagger to pick chocolate out from under the right button of a mouse. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the moment, but once I was done, I had a brainwave and asked "what the hell am I doing?!" :smalleek:

This ever happen to anyone else? You catch yourself doing something totally reasonable, and it's not until you step back and look at what you just did that you realize what it really looks like?

[Serpentine]

I blow on cold foodstuffs to cool them down. Usually it's with things like ice cream, so it's more of an ingrained attempt to get it to an easier temperature, but the other day I did it with a room-temperature pickle.

[LaZodiac]

Yes Zodi, continue to use that bread knife to cut that peice of bread in your hand. Yes, the big bread knife that's all serrated and stuff. Keep on doing this, this is the best thing to do eve-OUCH.

I thankfully stoppd before drawing blood, but god I should of known better.

[Crow]

I get so used to presenting my keycard to proximity cardreaders at work before going through doors that I sometimes present my keycard to hand sanitizer dispensers when exiting the bathrooms.

[ghost_warlock]

I sometimes check my phone to see if I've received any text messages.

[MonkeyBusiness]

I get so used to presenting my keycard to proximity cardreaders at work before going through doors that I sometimes present my keycard to hand sanitizer dispensers when exiting the bathrooms.



This made me laugh out loud.

I once spent so much time driving that, when I finally had a chance to sit down at my desk, I automatically (no pun intended) reached for my keys and tried to put them in the desk's ignition. And my first thought was not, "Why am I trying to start my desk" but rather, "Why can't I remember where the starter is on this thing?" :smallannoyed:

.

[KuReshtin]

Having worked at a fairly high-volume technical help desk with an answering script that you need to follow every time you answer the phone, I've been known to use the same greeting phrase when picking up the phone at home.

It tends to confuse the people on the other end at first.

Also, I've been known to dial a 9 'to get an external line' when dialing a phone number from my home phone.

[Vorthon]

Would grabbing two fair-sized chunks of quartz and smacking them together after the power went out just so I could watch the flashes of light count?

After a few flashes I thought, "Wait just a minute! I could get a quartz shard in my eye!". And I did. Ouch.

[Ezeze]

Usually if I'm on the phone it's either with a family member, my boyfriend or a close friend - just about everyone else I either text or e-mail. One day I was really sick. I had a fever and hadn't managed to get much sleep, but I there was a paper due that day. So I called my teacher to ask if I could e-mail it to her. She said okay but as I was hanging up I mumbled "love you." She laughed it off and told me to go to bed :smalltongue:

[valadil]

I thank ATMs when they give me money.

[arguskos]

I talk to my car. >_>

[GrlumpTheElder]

I thank ATMs when they give me money.

I do this too. I think they must feel unapreciated.

[MoonCat]

"Oh yes MoonCat, when you've hurt your hand it makes TOTAL sense to heal it by whacking stuff like walls and doors and other extremely solid things. No, really, that makes sense!"

I also relax by listening to either music for jigs and other upbeat things, or by listening to Hellfire. Not a typical lullaby, hmm?

[valadil]

I do this too. I think they must feel unapreciated.

I figure that when the robots take over I want to be on their nice list.

[Dogmantra]

This made me laugh out loud.

I once spent so much time driving that, when I finally had a chance to sit down at my desk, I automatically (no pun intended) reached for my keys and tried to put them in the desk's ignition. And my first thought was not, "Why am I trying to start my desk" but rather, "Why can't I remember where the starter is on this thing?" :smallannoyed:

.
Oftentimes when I'm sitting in an unfamiliar seat (especially those plastic or wooden school chairs) I look for the seatbelt. I am a tad worried about driving in general so apparently when I'm sitting down that's my first thought.

[polity4life]

After a huge LucasArts space flight sim binge (Tie Fighter, X-Wing Alliance, etc.), I would find myself pushing a random part of my dashboard thinking it was the button to match the speed of the vehicle in front of me as whilst driving.

[AsteriskAmp]

I keep the beat by clapping in a concert, and I don't mean the once a beat clap everyone does, I keep it like on a solfége class with multiple mini-clappings in between, then when I can't keep clapping or my hands hurt I begin hitting them against objects in frustration like I normally do when frustrated while playing the piano.

Also, I change cutlery etiquette randomly, I start with the European parameters, than at half-way point I notice everyone else is using the American parameters and I try to make the change, but it's futile and I end up reverting. Worse off is the fighting with my mother at the table since she keeps flipping the fork when I'm done and tries to correct the "on-hold" placement to the "finished" placement, to which I revert and fight ensues until my father notices and tells either one of us to cut it.

[Weezer]

After a huge LucasArts space flight sim binge (Tie Fighter, X-Wing Alliance, etc.), I would find myself pushing a random part of my dashboard thinking it was the button to match the speed of the vehicle in front of me as whilst driving.

Now that would be an incredible invention...

[thubby]

physically leaning while playing ace combat.

upon being startled by something on the web, I've been known to hit s+space+click (which, in an fps would be backup, duck, aim/shoot)

[Borgh]

I use this system of mesages to talk to people all over the world nearly instantly. It gives me the possiblity to comunicate though any medium I like, tekst, photos sound or even moving pictures. I am able to do this from my room using a device no larger then my fist. although I usually use a bigger thing that has a large moving-picures-projection device attached to it.

[Spartacus]

I use this system of mesages to talk to people all over the world nearly instantly. It gives me the possiblity to comunicate though any medium I like, tekst, photos sound or even moving pictures. I am able to do this from my room using a device no larger then my fist. although I usually use a bigger thing that has a large moving-picures-projection device attached to it.

xkcd (http://xkcd.com/722/) did it better. :P


upon being startled by something on the web, I've been known to hit s+space+click (which, in an fps would be backup, duck, aim/shoot)

If you use space to duck, what do you use to jump? L-Ctrl?

[Crow]

xkcd (http://xkcd.com/722/) did it better. :P



If you use space to duck, what do you use to jump? L-Ctrl?

I'd like to know if he ever saw anything that startled him so much that he tried to rocket-jump away from it.

[grimbold]

i like to eat ice but i dont instantly put it in my mouth because i want it to "Warm Up"

[MoonCat]

i like to eat ice but i dont instantly put it in my mouth because i want it to "Warm Up"

I think everyone drinks water grimbold. :smallwink:

[LCR]

I thank ATMs when they give me money.

I'd thank them, too, if they didn't take the money out of my account.

[Ezeze]

Also, I change cutlery etiquette randomly, I start with the European parameters, than at half-way point I notice everyone else is using the American parameters and I try to make the change, but it's futile and I end up reverting. Worse off is the fighting with my mother at the table since she keeps flipping the fork when I'm done and tries to correct the "on-hold" placement to the "finished" placement, to which I revert and fight ensues until my father notices and tells either one of us to cut it.

There's cutlery etiquette? :smalleek:

[MoonCat]

There's cutlery etiquette? :smalleek:

My thoughts exactly.

[pffh]

My thoughts exactly.

Stab fork in food, move food to mouth.

[MoonCat]

Stab fork in food, move food to mouth.

If food falls of, try again. Use knife to push food onto fork.

[Coidzor]

Americans cut their food first and then switch their fork to their dominant/right hand and eat their food.

Europeans cut their food and then eat their food with the fork in the hand they had it in while cutting their food.

IIRC.

[Ezeze]

If food falls of, try again. Use knife to push food onto fork.

And it gets really complicated when there is pasta involved :smalltongue:

[MoonCat]

And it gets really complicated when there is pasta involved :smalltongue:

Spaghetti I think you mean. Pasta you just stab. My brain just peters out when confronted with spaghetti.

[AtlanteanTroll]

I calm down by reading the news. :smallfrown:

[Coidzor]

Spaghetti I think you mean. Pasta you just stab. My brain just peters out when confronted with spaghetti.

Twirl around breadsticks or shovel onto bread eaten along with the meal.

[MoonCat]

Twirl around breadsticks or shovel onto bread eaten along with the meal.

Meh, then you are eating bread as well as the spaghetti. I just accept I'll look like an ogre while eating, and am as messy as I please.

[CrimsonAngel]

I guilt my computer when it freezes. " You're not working now? Oh, i'm sorry, I thought this was your job. Computer, you need to work now."

[arguskos]

There's cutlery etiquette? :smalleek:
Of COURSE there is! There's all sorts of complex etiquette that few people actively use anymore. For example, the way you set your fork and knife down on the plate when you're done eating has a meaning and a purpose. :smallwink:

[Ezeze]

Of COURSE there is! There's all sorts of complex etiquette that few people actively use anymore. For example, the way you set your fork and knife down on the plate when you're done eating has a meaning and a purpose. :smallwink:

*Kneels down in front of Arguskos* I wish to learn more, sensei.

All teasing aside, this genuinely piques my curiosity.

[MoonCat]

Of COURSE there is! There's all sorts of complex etiquette that few people actively use anymore. For example, the way you set your fork and knife down on the plate when you're done eating has a meaning and a purpose. :smallwink:

Well I don't know any of them.

[Coidzor]

Meh, then you are eating bread as well as the spaghetti. I just accept I'll look like an ogre while eating, and am as messy as I please.

You're supposed to do it that way.

Also, there's no way you can look like an ogre, you're much too short.

[arguskos]

*Kneels down in front of arguskos* I wish to learn more, sensei.
:smallannoyed::smalltongue:

Also, I'm vastly out of practice. I do remember the fork/knife thing though. If they're spread apart, it indicates you wish to continue eating or want more food. If your utensils are next to each other, you are done and the help can clear your plate. Further, your knife should always face outward, to ward off the evil eye (that one comes from family, not sure if it's official).

I also remember that when cutting with a fork and knife, you are supposed to hold the knife in your dominant hand instead of the fork, for better control, and to hold the fork upside-down with your pointer finger on the back of the base of the fork, for pressure control. Then, when you're done, you swap the fork to your dominant hand for eating. That's the US method, I think. The European method is just to eat with the hand the fork was in while cutting the food (so, your non-dominant hand). Further, I think that if you're ambidextrous you are meant to default to the right hand, but don't quote me.

I have a feeling araveugnitsuga knows it better than I do. Ask them. :smalltongue:

EDIT: On the proper method to eat spaghetti, it varies based on where you are. In some traditions, you eat it with bread (that's been buttered... or not, depending). In others, you twirl it with a spoon onto your fork. Depends on where you're at.

[MoonCat]

You're supposed to do it that way.

Also, there's no way you can look like an ogre, you're much too short.

Short jokes? That's just not fair. And i'll eat it whatever way I wish. While sitting on a phone book. :smalltongue:

[Douglas]

Americans cut their food first and then switch their fork to their dominant/right hand and eat their food.

Europeans cut their food and then eat their food with the fork in the hand they had it in while cutting their food.

IIRC.
That is the official "correct" way to do it in each area, but I'm an American, I was never really taught that as a child, and when I did learn about it I thought the American way was utter nonsense. Seriously, the food is already on the fork, the fork is already in your hand, just lift the damn thing up and put it in your mouth. Adding the steps of putting down your knife and switching the fork from one hand to another - and then back for the next bite, along with picking the knife back up - is pointless and wasteful idiocy as well as being quite annoying to have to do.

So, I have always ignored that little absurd bit of protocol except on the rare occasions when someone called me on it (usually Mom, and not since I was much younger), and even then I'd switch back in short order.

[arguskos]

That is the official "correct" way to do it in each area, but I'm an American, I was never really taught that as a child, and when I did learn about it I thought the American way was utter nonsense. Seriously, the food is already on the fork, the fork is already in your hand, just lift the damn thing up and put it in your mouth. Adding the steps of putting down your knife and switching the fork from one hand to another - and then back for the next bite, along with picking the knife back up - is pointless and wasteful idiocy as well as being quite annoying to have to do.

So, I have always ignored that little absurd bit of protocol except on the rare occasions when someone called me on it (usually Mom, and not since I was much younger), and even then I'd switch back in short order.
Well, the American tradition is actually that you cut EVERYTHING at once, then swap hands and eat normally. At least, that's what I learned it as. Doing it one hand at a time is time-consuming.

[AsteriskAmp]

Americans cut their food first and then switch their fork to their dominant/right hand and eat their food.

Europeans cut their food and then eat their food with the fork in the hand they had it in while cutting their food.

IIRC.


Well I don't know any of them.
There's an on hold placement and a finished placement, there's also the order in which one uses the cutlery and of course the placement of drinkware and the napkin, as well as type of napkin.

Europeans have the fork on diagonal with the fork on top lying face down perpendicular to the knife to signify on hold, you are on a temporary rest. The equivalent placement in the american system is to place the fork and the knife parallel to each other and both in 45° in relation to the table edge.

The "I'm finished gesture" is both pieces of active cutlery parallel next to each other, American's face up the fork, Europeans face down.

And that's not even taking multiple simultaneous sets or spoons into account.

[MoonCat]

I always cut stuff while holding the knife in my right hand, and I always eat with my left hand holding the fork...

[AsteriskAmp]

I always cut stuff while holding the knife in my right hand, and I always eat with my left hand holding the fork...

That's the European way, you are only missing the grip.

[arguskos]

Out of curiosity, araveugnitsuga, why do you know the proper details of it? Something you learned for work? Family? Just for kicks? It's rare to encounter someone who still knows this sorta thing.

[MoonCat]

You know, since most of us don't even know about these rules, is it possible the blatant absurdity lies in knowing these rules rather than not following them?

[AsteriskAmp]

Out of curiosity, araveugnitsuga, why do you know the proper details of it? Something you learned for work? Family? Just for kicks? It's rare to encounter someone who still knows this sorta thing.

I learned to read at a relatively young age, one of my first books was an old book on etiquette, to this day I remember it.


You know, since most of us don't even know about these rules, is it possible the blatant absurdity lies in knowing these rules rather than not following them?
Call me old fashioned.

[arguskos]

I learned to read at a relatively young age, one of my first books was an old book on etiquette, to this day I remember it.
Awesome. :smallcool:

[MoonCat]

The first full book I actually read was the Nutcracker. I didn't understand much, but I can still claim that I did truthfully.

[AsteriskAmp]

The first full book I actually read was the Nutcracker. I didn't understand much, but I can still claim that I did truthfully.

My first book to read was a dictionary, it was laid open in a table I just had learnt to read so I decided to skim through.

[MoonCat]

My first book to read was a dictionary, it was laid open in a table I just had learnt to read so I decided to skim through.

I tried to read a dictionary once. i dislocated my arm.

[CrimsonAngel]

I learned to read in pre-k. The main character of my first book was named ot and she had a dog. :smallcool: Either I was the only one who bothered learning to read, or I was the only one reading the small books they gave us. I was so cute when I was little. :smallsigh:

[Weezer]

Americans cut their food first and then switch their fork to their dominant/right hand and eat their food.

Europeans cut their food and then eat their food with the fork in the hand they had it in while cutting their food.

IIRC.

Then I guess despite living in America all my life I eat European.

[AsteriskAmp]

Then I guess despite living in America all my life I eat European.

Look for the European grip and see if it matches yours, and remember, this is a small fraction of the holistic composition of eating etiquette, the cutting order is the most logical, to eat European you most follow the etiquette to the letter.

[Partof1]

Well, I often look at my phone to check the time, but I forget to actually look at and/or read the numbers often, so I put my phone back in my pocket and realize I still don't know what time it is.

[Weezer]

Look for the European grip and see if it matches yours, and remember, this is a small fraction of the holistic composition of eating etiquette, the cutting order is the most logical, to eat European you most follow the etiquette to the letter.

I switch depending on what I'm eating, if it's meat/something stabable I hold it tine down but if it's something like rice or mashed potatoes I hold it the other way up.

I'm sure I don't follow the etiquette to the letter, it would be an incredible coincidence if I did.

[Ranger Mattos]

When I'm swimming, every two minutes or so, I'll stare at my left wrist until I remember that I took my watch off before going in the water. Two minutes later I'll do it again. And again. And again...

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Americans cut their food first and then switch their fork to their dominant/right hand and eat their food.

...I've learnt something new today.
That is odd. I'd never even considered swapping hands.

Why is there a difference? History at work?

[Dogmantra]

I feel like some kind of cutlery outcast. I hold the fork in my dominant hand and the knife in my non dominant hand the whole way through. I've had multiple people ask me if I'm left handed because of it.

[AsteriskAmp]

...I've learnt something new today.
That is odd. I'd never even considered swapping hands.

Why is there a difference? History at work?

The best known theory is the lateness in the origin of proper cutlery, the one which holds most consistencies is that Americans had been using the knife for common purposes long before the old continent. Of note, cutlery was invented after the colonisation.

[Jude_H]

I sometimes check my phone to see if I've received any text messages.Am I missing something?

When I'm swimming, every two minutes or so, I'll stare at my left wrist until I remember that I took my watch off before going in the water. Two minutes later I'll do it again. And again. And again...
Haha. I know what you mean. I've worn a watch for something like a combined 80 days in my life. I still check my wrist compulsively when I need to know the time.

My parents spent fifteen years trying to grind the 'switch hands while eating' thing into me, but I maintain that it's a stupid rule/procedure, and should be avoided at all costs.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Knife? Fork? I eat with my hands. *NOM NOM NOM*

[Science Officer]

...I've learnt something new today.
That is odd. I'd never even considered swapping hands.

Why is there a difference? History at work?

I've read from a few different forces that, apparently,
1) Americans cut up all of their food first, then put away their knives
2) they do this because way back when they were a wild, violent bus and people got worried around them and knives, even at the table.

However, I have not heard of 1) actually being the case, nor has that been described in this thread.

2) seems like a blatant absurdity, though not of the sort that is the subject of this thread.

[Timeless Error]

EDIT: Woah, I refresh the page and suddenly the entire thread has been derailed into a conversation about the proper way to use silverware. Huh.

The biggest everyday absurdity for me is suddenly realizing that I'm playing in a game where a humanoid bug rapidly chucking miniature lightsabers can adventure with a polar bear riding a camel while battling an animated swimming pool and an army of magical grenade-throwing midgets, and the entire thing is taken with utter seriousness.

[Marillion]

Whenever I drop, spill, or knock something over, I say "Goddammit Frank!"

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

My entire family.

It's gotten to the point where my dad just has to say "Don't look at me, I just live here!"

[Raz_Fox]

I tend to amble around a lot. Today, while wandering away from the kitchen, I realized that I was trying to take a package of tortillas up to my room. For no reason at all.

I'm halfway up the stairs, and I realize, hey, I've got tortillas. I wonder why. Maybe I should go put these back or something.

[Vaynor]

This happens far too often for me:

Realize you're spending too much time on <site>
Decide to do something else more interesting/productive
Open new tab
Load <site>
Repeat

[JabberwockySupafly]

Greetings Friendly Banter, and apologies for invading your threads, but this is one I just couldn't help but comment on.


I tend to amble around a lot. Today, while wandering away from the kitchen, I realized that I was trying to take a package of tortillas up to my room. For no reason at all.

I'm halfway up the stairs, and I realize, hey, I've got tortillas. I wonder why. Maybe I should go put these back or something.


I do this, but in reverse. I put stuff in the fridge or cupboard that doesn't belong there in the first place. Dagon knows how many times I've found the remote control next to the milk, or when I go to grab a soft drink I'll suddenly be missing my 360 remote. It's quite vexing. The most common instnace of this is I'll go to get a towel from the linen closet to prepare for a shower. Afterwards I'll notice my mobile phone is missing and when I've found it, it has decided to take up residence with the tea towels in the linen closet.


My most common absurdity, though, is I talk to my dog. I don't just mean "Oh, who's a good girl?!" I mean, I hold entire 1-sided conversations with my dog. Now, this wouldn't seem so weird if I were, say, a shut-in or someone with no outside contact, but I'm a happily married man with a thriving socal life. That's right, I hold entire 1-sided conversations with my dog in front of groups of my friends. The most absurd part? No one seems to mind.

[Eldan]

I've read from a few different forces that, apparently,
1) Americans cut up all of their food first, then put away their knives
2) they do this because way back when they were a wild, violent bus and people got worried around them and knives, even at the table.

However, I have not heard of 1) actually being the case, nor has that been described in this thread.

2) seems like a blatant absurdity, though not of the sort that is the subject of this thread.

A lot of etiquette can be followed back to things like that, though. From the ways you hold out your hand in greeting, to saluting, to dozens of other things: many, many of them are connected to weaponry.

[Innis Cabal]

Americans cut their food first and then switch their fork to their dominant/right hand and eat their food.

Europeans cut their food and then eat their food with the fork in the hand they had it in while cutting their food.

IIRC.

I don't....think that's always the case. I don't cut my food up and then eat it. I cut and eat as I go. In fact....I don't know anyone anywhere that first cuts up their food and then eats it. I use my fork in my dominate hand and a knife in my non and drop my knife to the table when not using it.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Re: Cutlery Etiquette

A Handy and Enlightening Link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fork_etiquette#Fork_etiquette) for those interested in learning more :smallcool:

[Ceric]

My watch also has the date and day of the week on it, so whenever I need to know the date I look at my watch. On the (very few) days that I'm not wearing my watch for whatever reason and I need the date, I'll look at my empty wrist. And I'll usually know the date anyways, but I'll always look at my wrist on reaction. I imagine it looks like I'm getting the date from my empty wrist :smalltongue:

I do the same for time, except that I still won't know what time it is.

Also, I'm American and I eat with my fork still in my left hand after cutting food. I used to cut up all my food before eating and then put down the knife and swap the fork to my right hand, but I read somewhere that cutting up all the food first was incorrect (it must've been a European source) and that's what I've been doing ever since.

[Eldan]

So, for my thesis, I work with wild bees. So far, so good.

There I was, standing in the middle of a bee colony, when suddenly something starts buzzing and moving in my pants. I franticly start hitting it (not a smart idea) and turn my pocket inside out.

Cue my phone falling out and tumbling down the rocks for several meters. :smallsigh:

[Asta Kask]

*Kneels down in front of Arguskos* I wish to learn more, sensei.

All teasing aside, this genuinely piques my curiosity.

Thank God for Google. (http://www.gourmet-food-revolution.com/table-setting-etiquette.html)

Edit: Oooh! Me and my mother count dogs when we're driving in a car. The game was invented during a very long, boring car ride. You get:

1 point for most dogs
2 points for miniature schnauzers or bassets, because we've had them.
1 point for blind people without dogs - they should have one
5 points for flying, fire-breathing dragons (never claimed)

And this game is taken seriously. Sometimes my older brother joins in.

[Eldan]

Thank God for Google. (http://www.gourmet-food-revolution.com/table-setting-etiquette.html)



Hmm. Don't you get pretty much all of that demonstrated to you whenever you eat in a restaurant?

[Erloas]

I have noticed at time how annoying it is to cut up food and eat it while switching hands.
And as such, I've made some efforts to change that. And what I've found is the main reason I use my dominate hand when cutting is because usually the knife isn't sharp enough to make good cuts with my left hand. About the only time I use a knife they tend to be serrated and they don't work well with simple pressure.
Of course if you started using your non-dominate hand early enough you would learn to cut with it just fine, or if you generally get something other then the cheapest steak knifes you can find, which is usually the case with my family.

My brother noticed how he will attempt to readjust his glasses even when he is wearing contacts.

[Teddy]

I have noticed at time how annoying it is to cut up food and eat it while switching hands.
And as such, I've made some efforts to change that. And what I've found is the main reason I use my dominate hand when cutting is because usually the knife isn't sharp enough to make good cuts with my left hand. About the only time I use a knife they tend to be serrated and they don't work well with simple pressure.
Of course if you started using your non-dominate hand early enough you would learn to cut with it just fine, or if you generally get something other then the cheapest steak knifes you can find, which is usually the case with my family.

Your solution to it is to cut with your non-dominant hand? :smallconfused:

I mean, there's a reason to why both Europeans and Americans cut with their dominant hand: the cutting motion is somewhat tricky, and especially so when you need to apply force. Impaling stuff on a fork will recuire practically no effort from your side compared to cutting with a knife, even when it's tough food.

[MoonCat]

Your solution to it is to cut with your non-dominant hand? :smallconfused:

I do. I cut with my right, I'm leftie.

[Yora]

When cutting onions, I sometimes eat a few pieces that fell from the cutting board on the table. But once we cooked something and still had half a bowl of diced onions in the kitchen and it took about 10 minutes for me to notice that I'd been eating raw onion the whole time I was talking to my parents.

And once after playing a lot of Stalker, I had to get some errands around sunset and when stepping out on the dark stairs, I briefly wondered how I could switch on my helmet light without the F key on a keyboard.

I do this, but in reverse. I put stuff in the fridge or cupboard that doesn't belong there in the first place. Dagon knows how many times I've found the remote control next to the milk, or when I go to grab a soft drink I'll suddenly be missing my 360 remote. It's quite vexing. The most common instnace of this is I'll go to get a towel from the linen closet to prepare for a shower. Afterwards I'll notice my mobile phone is missing and when I've found it, it has decided to take up residence with the tea towels in the linen closet.
I once almost poured ketchup into my juice.

[MoonCat]

When cutting onions, I sometimes eat a few pieces that fell from the cutting board on the table. But once we cooked something and still had half a bowl of diced onions in the kitchen and it took about 10 minutes for me to notice that I'd been eating raw onion the whole time I was talking to my parents.

People DON'T eat onions? I eat them like apples.

[pffh]

I do. I cut with my right, I'm leftie.

Yeah I too cut with the right and am a leftie. Hmm wonder if all or most lefties do it.

[Partysan]

I'm European, but while I don't actually put away my knife I tend to switch knife and fork hands. Not because of etiquette but because of my left arm being crippled and unable to bend at the left wrist which makes a lot of eating motions tricky.

More on topic, I have managed to leave school not after 6th period (when I'd usually go home) but after 4th (during the break). Naturally when I crossed the schoolyard there where all sorts of people outside, since it was breaktime. I thought "what are they all still doing here, is there a festival today?" and continued straight home without even getting suspicious.

[MoonCat]

My brother's an aspie and requires that his silverware is always backwards, and my fists itch when I see wrongly set silverware. Total pain to have us at the same table.

[Lord Loss]

I sometimes find myself mumbling thank you to cars when they let me pass first and I'm walking...

[Partof1]

I'm right handed, cut with my left. Though admittedly, I do most stuff left handed, like typing, or sports swings.

[Weezer]

I'm left handed, but cut with my right. Which is standard for me, I tend to do dexterity based taskes (writing etc) with my left hand and strength based tasks with my right (cutting, throwing things etc). As a result despite being left handed my right hand/arm is a bit stronger.

[aart lover]

" oh yeah aart, go ahead and use that knife to pick the eraser shavings out from your keyboard " :annoyed:

[grimbold]

I'm left handed, but cut with my right. Which is standard for me, I tend to do dexterity based taskes (writing etc) with my left hand and strength based tasks with my right (cutting, throwing things etc). As a result despite being left handed my right hand/arm is a bit stronger.

i too am left handed and when i flex my left arm has about an inch more muscle on it than the right arm
XD

[Serpentine]

Gee, I wonder what that could be from :smallamused:
My most common absurdity, though, is I talk to my dog. I don't just mean "Oh, who's a good girl?!" I mean, I hold entire 1-sided conversations with my dog. Now, this wouldn't seem so weird if I were, say, a shut-in or someone with no outside contact, but I'm a happily married man with a thriving socal life. That's right, I hold entire 1-sided conversations with my dog in front of groups of my friends. The most absurd part? No one seems to mind.I talk to all animals as though they could respond.
Because you never know when they will.
I do. I cut with my right, I'm leftie.Same here.

Something interesting for y'all: people almost always hold babies in their left arms. Regardless of handedness, and regardless of how they're passed the baby. When asked why, right-handed people say they do it because it leaves their main hand free for doing stuff. Left-handed people say they do it because they want to hold the baby with their strongest arm (conclusion: left-handed people are much more considerate).

[Asta Kask]

My most common absurdity, though, is I talk to my dog. I don't just mean "Oh, who's a good girl?!" I mean, I hold entire 1-sided conversations with my dog. Now, this wouldn't seem so weird if I were, say, a shut-in or someone with no outside contact, but I'm a happily married man with a thriving socal life. That's right, I hold entire 1-sided conversations with my dog in front of groups of my friends. The most absurd part? No one seems to mind.


Gee, I wonder what that could be from :smallamused:I talk to all animals as though they could respond.
Because you never know when they will.Same here.

I find it more weird when people don't talk to their pets.

[polity4life]

I used to play blinking games with my Russian tortoise, Merlot. On a related note, I have a Russian tortoise named Merlot.

[Teddy]

Something interesting for y'all: people almost always hold babies in their left arms. Regardless of handedness, and regardless of how they're passed the baby. When asked why, right-handed people say they do it because it leaves their main hand free for doing stuff. Left-handed people say they do it because they want to hold the baby with their strongest arm (conclusion: left-handed people are much more considerate).

Or that they give birth to heavier babies. :smallwink::smalltongue:

[John Cribati]

When there's a bug in the room, I will stare at it until it comes close to me, then clap at it.

I did this in church once.

It was a loud clap.

And I missed.

[HalfTangible]

I will often check the clock on my phone right after checking a different clock. Like, i will look at the clock on a computer screen, reach into my pocket and look at the phone. Within a few seconds of each other.

[Serpentine]

Or that they give birth to heavier babies. :smallwink::smalltongue:Except they also do it with ANYONE'S baby, not just their own, stoopid-head :smalltongue:

[AsteriskAmp]

Your solution to it is to cut with your non-dominant hand? :smallconfused:

I mean, there's a reason to why both Europeans and Americans cut with their dominant hand: the cutting motion is somewhat tricky, and especially so when you need to apply force. Impaling stuff on a fork will recuire practically no effort from your side compared to cutting with a knife, even when it's tough food.


I do. I cut with my right, I'm leftie.
Actually, as far as I know, etiquette is to always have the knife at the right and fork at the left, I believe and some googling confirms it, there is no dominance discrimination.

[Teddy]

Except they also do it with ANYONE'S baby, not just their own, stoopid-head :smalltongue:

Habit? *rolleyes* :smalltongue:

[AsteriskAmp]

Something interesting for y'all: people almost always hold babies in their left arms. Regardless of handedness, and regardless of how they're passed the baby. When asked why, right-handed people say they do it because it leaves their main hand free for doing stuff. Left-handed people say they do it because they want to hold the baby with their strongest arm (conclusion: left-handed people are much more considerate).

I believe it's a rationalization by both sides, more than the truth.

[ZombyWoof]

I blow on cold foodstuffs to cool them down. Usually it's with things like ice cream, so it's more of an ingrained attempt to get it to an easier temperature, but the other day I did it with a room-temperature pickle.

:smallconfused::smallconfused::smallconfused: wut.

[CrimsonAngel]

It's raining in Texas. Right now.

[Serpentine]

Habit? *rolleyes* :smalltongue:My source (Dr Karl, maybe? Cracked? A lecturer? I forget) said it's something to do with the way human bodies are asymmetrical. The person who did the study, a doctor, would pass people a baby dead-on vertically, and they would always switch to the left side. I think it's more than habit - how would the vast majority of people get into that habit in the first place?
I believe it's a rationalization by both sides, more than the truth.Well, yes. I said that they said that's why they did it, not that that's actually why they did. In fact, my point was that it's not a concious thing...
:smallconfused::smallconfused::smallconfused: wut.I don't even know :smallsigh:

[MoonCat]

When there's a bug in the room, I will stare at it until it comes close to me, then clap at it.

I did this in church once.

It was a loud clap.

And I missed.

I'm very ashamed I fell over laughing at this.

[Partysan]

I've read once that babies are instinctively held on the left side so they can hear the heartbeat of the one holding them which calms them.

[Serpentine]

I guess that seems plausible...

[Lady Moreta]

Now you've got me thinking about which side I hold babies on... have to admit, I think it's the left (and I'm right-handed). I do it because it's more comfortable that way. I can use my left arm to carry the weight and it leaves my right hand free to support the child/catch wandering fingers - basically things that require more dexterity to manage.

[Serpentine]

Now you've got me thinking about which side I hold babies on... have to admit, I think it's the left (and I'm right-handed). I do it because it's more comfortable that way. I can use my left arm to carry the weight and it leaves my right hand free to support the child/catch wandering fingers - basically things that require more dexterity to manage.*ahem*
When asked why, right-handed people say they do it because it leaves their main hand free for doing stuff. Left-handed people say they do it because they want to hold the baby with their strongest arm (conclusion: left-handed people are much more considerate).:smallwink:
And, having said that, I too hold them in my left arm most of the time, and as a left-hander, I do it because that arm's stronger which makes it more comfortable and takes longer to get tired.
You see?

[Teddy]

*ahem*:smallwink:
And, having said that, I too hold them in my left arm most of the time, and as a left-hander, I do it because that arm's stronger which makes it more comfortable and takes longer to get tired.
You see?

You know, given that right-handed mothers all seem to do well with their weaker non-dominant arm, I think the actuallual conclusion is that left-handed mothers must be weaker in their arms, and therefore have to devote their stronger dominant arm for baby-carrying... [/jokes and pseudoscience] :smalltongue:

[John Cribati]

... I just realized that I hold babies in my left more often than my (dominant) right. Maybe it's some instinctive thing, holding the baby closer to the heart?

Some people have a weird disease where the locations of their internal organs are reversed. Would they hold babies in their right hands?

[Serpentine]

I don't know, but wouldn't it be interesting to know?

edit: This article (http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-7687.2004.00318.x/full) suggests that it's related to right-brain function.

[Asta Kask]

I didn't know you were a Molly-Duker, serp.

[Serpentine]

A Molly-Duker? You mean sinister? Eeyup. Just one of the many things I have in common with Leonardo da Vinci!

[Asta Kask]

Apparently that's Australian slang for left-handed.

My mother had her left hand tied to the desk in school so she wouldn't use it for writing...

[polity4life]

I figured this odd, historic event (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadaver_synod)would fit the motif of this thread...

Oh, what the people with power and time can do.

[Prince Zahn]

I knock on nearly every door twice I enter and leave through when I can, even in an empty house or a car door. multiple entrances through the same door within 10 seconds of each other stack.
It bothers friends, associates, cab drivers and the like after a few times.

[Lady Moreta]

*ahem*:smallwink:
And, having said that, I too hold them in my left arm most of the time, and as a left-hander, I do it because that arm's stronger which makes it more comfortable and takes longer to get tired.
You see?

I probably should have mentioned that my left arm is actually stronger than my right :smalltongue:

[Halae]

every time I lock something, I have to do it twice for some strange reason. i don't even think about it - I lock the deadbolt on the front door and I lock, unlock, lock again. every time. I do this for car doors too.

[Eldan]

I just check if it's locked by tapping the handle a few times.

[Lissou]

Sometimes when I'm looking for something in real life, I get frustrated that I can't use a search engine. It's more of a "I can't believe my room doesn't have a search engine in this day and age" feeling than a "I wish search engines existed in real life too!" one.
I've accidentally used a cellphone as a mouse on a laptop. This doesn't work, by the way.

About the food and cutlery, I know it was a while back but here is a bunch of things I was taught:

- first, for the cutting and eating, the French way is the same as American. Cut with knife is right hand and fork in left hand (I'm not sure if it needs to be the dominant one or the right one as everyone is right-handed in my family), then swap and eat with the fork in your right hand.
- when placing cutlery on the table, the fork goes on the left, the knife goes on the right, the small spoon goes on the top with the handle facing left and the big spoon goes to the far left (left of the fork). That's for a regular meal, if you have extra cutlery, such as a fish knife and for or smaller ones for the appetizer, they have a place too. Simply put, the earlier you use it in the meal, the outermost it is (the big spoon is for soup and can be omitted in meals that don't start with soup).
- never use a knife to cut bread or salad. Both need to be torn, bread with your hands (you don't use a knife on Christ is how it was explained to me), salad with your fork (cutting it is an insult to the cook as it insinuates that they didn't tear the salad properly when preparing it).
- waiting for other people to be served is an insult to the cook, as it causes the food to wait there and reduce in quality. As a result you should start eating as soon as you are served no matter if everyone else is still waiting.
- never cross your fork and knife when putting them on the plate at the end of your meal. If you're not done eating, rest them on the plate with the handle on the table.
- never have your elbow on the table or your hands under it.
- the only acceptable times to wipe your mouth is right before or right after taking a sip of your water or wine (other drinks are not proper during a meal).

Well, that's not all about cutlery anymore. But oh well, that's a bunch of things. I do some of them (not cutting bread and salad with a knife), some I do or don't (the waiting to eat. Depends on who I am with as sometimes not waiting is the option that seems rude).
As for cutting, I hold my fork in my right - dominant - hand when I cut, and when I eat. So I have the second part right but not the first one. I too have a hard time understanding why I would need to switch hands constantly. Although to be fair it makes you eat more slowly and the meal fills you up more.

Oh, a few others.

- you need to clean your plate when you're done. Don't lick it of course, but also don't hold the bread with your hand. Use a fork on the piece of bread (I usually use my hand anyways). This should be done on savoury meals (for dressing or sauce) as well as for dessert (for ice-cream or caramel or fruit sauce left on the place). At any rate, the plate should look like it doesn't need to be washed, minus the bones and stuff that might be left in it.
- never tilt your soup plate. I honestly haven't mastered that one. Leaving it completely clean and not tilting it are things that seem mutually exclusive to me, or it would take a long time to sponge it up with bread.
- if you do title your plate (which I do) it's insulting to tilt it towards other people, you need to tilt it towards yourself.

I have to wonder why they'd say "never do X" and then have the next rule be about "when you do X..."

[ZombyWoof]

A tradition in my family is that not asking for seconds is an insult to the cook. The first plate is eaten for sustinence (because you need to eat to live), but the second plate is because it's delicious. If you're ever at my house remember to take less food to follow that rule :smallwink:

Your rule for soup bothers me to no end as I prefer (by far) the Japanese way of eating soup: use the bowl and drink it.

Your drink conventions for meals also confound me! Lunch is always water and a soft drink (usually tea). In fact, tea with every meal! Hot tea for breakfast, iced tea on hot days, hot tea on cold days or with any form of Chinese food. Wine or champagne with everything, both on special occasions. Beer is also acceptable... but only on non-special occasions.

Probably my biggest absurdity is that I'll catch myself eating left handed. I was born with a preference for my left hand but it was taught out of me at a young age, though why I'm not sure. I actually had a really hard time learning my left from my right and I think it might be related because I used to throw left-handed in baseball... and all the "right vs left" stuff switched when I was like 6.

[Lissou]

Your rule for soup bothers me to no end as I prefer (by far) the Japanese way of eating soup: use the bowl and drink it.

We don't have soup in bowls but on plates so that's impossible.
As for why it is so, eating soup in a shallow and wide dish allows it to cool faster, and you can also put more croûtons in it (in France you have croûtons in soup, not in salad).
Which reminds me I forgot when setting the table the soup plate goes on top of the main course plate.

[ZombyWoof]

I'll take my drink-meal tyvm :smalltongue:

(Seriously in a flat dish I'd spill it all over the place!)

It's interesting that you have this tradition in France when Belgium next door has no such tradition... at least according to my Grammy. Who's coming to cook for me in June.

*drools*

[Tiger Duck]

We do have those.

Or they at least had them at my house.

[grimbold]

(in France you have croûtons in soup, not in salad).

actually at my house being french american we have croutons in soup AND salad:smallcool:

[Remmirath]

I always check several times to make sure that I really did lock the car door, including that when I have stepped out of it I will yank on the handle to make sure it remains closed. This has caused me to open the door of other people's cars when they haven't locked them yet sometimes, which typically earns me odd looks. I don't even really notice I'm doing it until I've already done it.

I use scissors with my right hand even though I'm left-handed and have scissors that can be used with either. It's about the only thing I do with my right hand - that and using the can opener, and they both have the same cause (we didn't have ambidextrous versions of either when I was growing up, so I learned how with my right hand). It seems normal to me, but people who've noticed I do everything else left-handed tend to remark on it.

I have also, especially when tired, frequently found myself trying to toss my cups/plates/other eating containers in the trash instead of placing them by the sink. I'm really not sure why, but luckily I've always caught myself before actually throwing them in.

Oh, and I refill my water glass before a meal. It's a habit, and sometimes I've caught myself going to fill my water glass when it's already full.

[Halae]

I have also, especially when tired, frequently found myself trying to toss my cups/plates/other eating containers in the trash instead of placing them by the sink. I'm really not sure why, but luckily I've always caught myself before actually throwing them in.I did that at a McDonald's once. You know those plastic tray and how people usually just load them up with their garbage so that they can shake them off into the garbage can? I just let go of mine. I didn't even stop talking to my friend at the time, and once I was finished all he said was,

"Did you... did you just toss the tray?"

Me: *shocked. Shifty eyes* Er no. let's get out of here.

[Fiery Diamond]

I've read from a few different forces that, apparently,
1) Americans cut up all of their food first, then put away their knives
2) they do this because way back when they were a wild, violent bus and people got worried around them and knives, even at the table.

However, I have not heard of 1) actually being the case, nor has that been described in this thread.

2) seems like a blatant absurdity, though not of the sort that is the subject of this thread.

Actually, 1) is exactly what I do (I'm an American) and I've never considered it etiquette at all, just common sense. I cut up my food holding the knife in my right (dominant) hand, and then I set my knife down and switch the fork to my right hand so that I can eat with it. It's simple: I use my dominant hand for the actual work - cutting with the knife is the work and the fork is just to hold whatever it is in place, and then when cutting is done stabbing food and bringing it to my mouth is the work.

Of course, I've always thought the entire concept of cutlery etiquette was redonkulus anyway. Just don't be sloppy or chew with your mouth open/talk with your mouth full of food and all's good.


This happens far too often for me:

Realize you're spending too much time on <site>
Decide to do something else more interesting/productive
Open new tab
Load <site>
Repeat

This is practically my life. This is the site, actually. And it is very sad.


Gee, I wonder what that could be from :smallamused:I talk to all animals as though they could respond.
Because you never know when they will.Same here.

Something interesting for y'all: people almost always hold babies in their left arms. Regardless of handedness, and regardless of how they're passed the baby. When asked why, right-handed people say they do it because it leaves their main hand free for doing stuff. Left-handed people say they do it because they want to hold the baby with their strongest arm (conclusion: left-handed people are much more considerate).

Another interesting thing: most people wear watches on their left wrist. At least half the lefties I know wear them on their left wrist, too, but if you see someone with a watch on their right wrist you're usually correct to conclude that they're a leftie.

Except that I'm right-handed and I wear my watch on my right wrist. Always have.


Sometimes when I'm looking for something in real life, I get frustrated that I can't use a search engine. It's more of a "I can't believe my room doesn't have a search engine in this day and age" feeling than a "I wish search engines existed in real life too!" one.
I've accidentally used a cellphone as a mouse on a laptop. This doesn't work, by the way.

About the food and cutlery, I know it was a while back but here is a bunch of things I was taught:

- first, for the cutting and eating, the French way is the same as American. Cut with knife is right hand and fork in left hand (I'm not sure if it needs to be the dominant one or the right one as everyone is right-handed in my family), then swap and eat with the fork in your right hand.
- when placing cutlery on the table, the fork goes on the left, the knife goes on the right, the small spoon goes on the top with the handle facing left and the big spoon goes to the far left (left of the fork). That's for a regular meal, if you have extra cutlery, such as a fish knife and for or smaller ones for the appetizer, they have a place too. Simply put, the earlier you use it in the meal, the outermost it is (the big spoon is for soup and can be omitted in meals that don't start with soup).
- never use a knife to cut bread or salad. Both need to be torn, bread with your hands (you don't use a knife on Christ is how it was explained to me), salad with your fork (cutting it is an insult to the cook as it insinuates that they didn't tear the salad properly when preparing it).
- waiting for other people to be served is an insult to the cook, as it causes the food to wait there and reduce in quality. As a result you should start eating as soon as you are served no matter if everyone else is still waiting.
- never cross your fork and knife when putting them on the plate at the end of your meal. If you're not done eating, rest them on the plate with the handle on the table.
- never have your elbow on the table or your hands under it.
- the only acceptable times to wipe your mouth is right before or right after taking a sip of your water or wine (other drinks are not proper during a meal).

Well, that's not all about cutlery anymore. But oh well, that's a bunch of things. I do some of them (not cutting bread and salad with a knife), some I do or don't (the waiting to eat. Depends on who I am with as sometimes not waiting is the option that seems rude).
As for cutting, I hold my fork in my right - dominant - hand when I cut, and when I eat. So I have the second part right but not the first one. I too have a hard time understanding why I would need to switch hands constantly. Although to be fair it makes you eat more slowly and the meal fills you up more.

Oh, a few others.

- you need to clean your plate when you're done. Don't lick it of course, but also don't hold the bread with your hand. Use a fork on the piece of bread (I usually use my hand anyways). This should be done on savoury meals (for dressing or sauce) as well as for dessert (for ice-cream or caramel or fruit sauce left on the place). At any rate, the plate should look like it doesn't need to be washed, minus the bones and stuff that might be left in it.
- never tilt your soup plate. I honestly haven't mastered that one. Leaving it completely clean and not tilting it are things that seem mutually exclusive to me, or it would take a long time to sponge it up with bread.
- if you do title your plate (which I do) it's insulting to tilt it towards other people, you need to tilt it towards yourself.

I have to wonder why they'd say "never do X" and then have the next rule be about "when you do X..."


I was going to respond to this with the rules we use at my house, but then I looked at those rules you listed and went, "You'd think I was an uncivilized barbarian if I ate at your house." :smalleek:

My responses to your rules (how I've been taught at my house):
1) The only always-needed piece of silverware is the fork.
2) Knives are only needed if you have something you need to cut.
3) Spoons are only needed if you have something you need to spoon, like soup. And even then you only have one.
4) Fork, spoon, and napkin are on left, knife on right during setting. Afterwards everything goes on the plate or in the bowl.
5) Meals are not served in courses, and each person serves him/herself. A prayer is said before meals, before which no one eats, after which everyone eats. It may or may not be acceptable to serve yourself before grace is said, depending on circumstance.
6) Elbows off the table. Any hand not being used must go in the lap.
7) Whoever heard of having acceptable and unacceptable types of drinks? You drink what you drink, yeah? Also, you use the napkin whenever you need to use it.
8) Why would you cut salad? :smallconfused:

[Serpentine]

I use scissors with my right hand even though I'm left-handed and have scissors that can be used with either. It's about the only thing I do with my right hand - that and using the can opener, and they both have the same cause (we didn't have ambidextrous versions of either when I was growing up, so I learned how with my right hand). It seems normal to me, but people who've noticed I do everything else left-handed tend to remark on it.

I have also, especially when tired, frequently found myself trying to toss my cups/plates/other eating containers in the trash instead of placing them by the sink. I'm really not sure why, but luckily I've always caught myself before actually throwing them in.

Oh, and I refill my water glass before a meal. It's a habit, and sometimes I've caught myself going to fill my water glass when it's already full.Woo, sinisters! My left hand is definitely dominant, but I use my knife and fork* and computer right-handed. I also usually use scissors right-handed, but possibly just because almost all the scissors I come across are pretty much useless left-handed.
Also I always swish some fresh water around a glass before I drink from it. I'm... really thingy about glasses. I hate them being even a little dirty. Or even if I might think it might be.

Regarding the door-locking thing: that's a symptom of my cousin's OCD. She'd have to go back and check that the door was locked something like 15 times.



*Cut it up as I go, unless I want to use one hand for something else, in which case I might cut it up first and then eat. Never even thought that was an etiquette thing, though. Fork in left, knife in right.

[ZombyWoof]

I dated someone who did the locked door thing. She'd get up and check the front door. Then she'd get up and check her car. Then she'd realize that meant she went through the front door again and had to get up to check the door.

It was... infuriating, but in a good way. Amazing what love can do, eh? :smallwink:

[Serpentine]

This thing wasn't so much endearing as part of a serious and life-controlling ailment :smallwink:

[ZombyWoof]

yes, yes, your cousins thing was more like the time I floated my tort in a pan of water and $girl had to hide on the couch under a blanket in sheer TERROR e.e

But I was just saying that it reminded me of her :smalltongue:

[Borgh]

yes, yes, your cousins thing was more like the time I floated my tort in a pan of water and $girl had to hide on the couch under a blanket in sheer TERROR e.e

But I was just saying that it reminded me of her :smalltongue:

waait, what?

I'm thinking it is a euphemism somehow.

[Lissou]

I think the baby-left arm thing is probably instinct so that the baby can rest closer to our heart. I know I hold animals the same way, and heartbeat can reassure and comfort animals, I assume it would do the same with babies.
The reasons people give would just be rationalisation because they're not aware of that instinct.

Fiery Diamond: I couldn't cut all my food at once. Might be an OCD thing, but if I left it there, cut and all, I feel like it's gone bad, or it's not as fresh or not as good or something.


I was going to respond to this with the rules we use at my house, but then I looked at those rules you listed and went, "You'd think I was an uncivilized barbarian if I ate at your house." :smalleek:

Don't worry, most people I know don't follow these rules either. Including me when I'm not in a "formal event". Eating dinner with my whole family has just always be a "formal event" :P


3) Spoons are only needed if you have something you need to spoon, like soup. And even then you only have one.

We only put spoons when they'd be needed, too, but they were needed often. Actually I should explain how meals were always done when I was a kid. I'm talking about the two savoury meals, lunch and dinner. Breakfast and gouter, the other two meals, were sweet meals. Because there were 4 meals, every 4 hours (approximately 8am, noon, 4pm and 8pm).

So, lunch and dinner started with what we call "entrée" which means "entrance" and is the appetizer. Usually salad in summer (grated carrots, tomatoes and cucumber, coleslaw - with vinaigrette, not creamy dressing, potato salad - same thing, etc) and soup in winter (most often leek and potatoes). Sometimes soup in summer too if it's gaspacho.
So on top of the bigger plate would be a small one for the salad or a soup one for the soup. And in winter a soup spoon to the left.

Then main dish with its side in the big plate, then after that salad (this time lettuce), then cheese or yogurt, then dessert. The small spoon would be used for yogurt or dessert, and even if the dessert didn't require a spoon (say, if it was an apple instead of fruit salad) you'd place the small spoon because you never knew if the person was feeling like yogurt instead of cheese that day.

Then after that you could have coffee or tea at lunch and tisane (herbal tea) at dinner. Not compulsory at all though.

The other two meals, breakfast and goûter, would be carb heavy, for instance ceral and milk, or a spread on bread, with a hot drink (often cocoa for me, but tea and coffee are common too). No meat or eggs, it was so shocking for me to learn that people in the US had both for breakfast.

Anyway, my point is that if there isn't soup you don't place the soup spoon, unless there is something like spaghetti that will require the spoon too.


Fork, spoon, and napkin are on left, knife on right during setting. Afterwards everything goes on the plate or in the bowl.

We had cloth napkins, each person had their own colour and we had one for guests. They'd be placed on top of the top plate before the meal, and on the person's lap once they sit.
In the absence of coloured napkins, the person's place is marked with a coloured napkin holder instead (looks like a wooden bracelet but narrower).


5) Meals are not served in courses, and each person serves him/herself. A prayer is said before meals, before which no one eats, after which everyone eats. It may or may not be acceptable to serve yourself before grace is said, depending on circumstance.

My mom (or the cook if it wasn't her that meal) would serve us one by one in a circle, or in the order we handed our plates if we handed them before she held out her hand to one of us. She'd be served last (usually by my father, who was served second to last and as a result waited to serve her before he ate).

Sometimes we served ourselves, but in specific meals such as burritos where we'd pick out what we put inside, or things like fondue and raclette that are cooked in a communal dish at the table.


6) Elbows off the table. Any hand not being used must go in the lap.
7) Whoever heard of having acceptable and unacceptable types of drinks? You drink what you drink, yeah? Also, you use the napkin whenever you need to use it.
8) Why would you cut salad? :smallconfused:

6) Hands were not allowed in the lap because you can't see them. I think the implication was that a hand under the table means you're touching yourself or scratching yourself there.
7) Well, the only drinks that were put on the table were these. Water doesn't affect taste and wine is meant to complement the meal. Other drinks were considered insulting to the cook as they wouldn't allow the people to taste the food properly, especially sweet drinks.
8) I meant lettuce, sometimes the leaves are very big and won't fit in your mouth otherwise. Since we also weren't supposed to open our mouth more than the strict necessary to fit the fork in, the bites needed to be fairly small.

Eating is a whole ceremony in my family. We also would have dictionaries on hand, which is something that I don't know of anyone else doing, because during our meal discussions we often would have doubts against something or disagree about something and needed to check.

[Serpentine]

I think the baby-left arm thing is probably instinct so that the baby can rest closer to our heart. I know I hold animals the same way, and heartbeat can reassure and comfort animals, I assume it would do the same with babies.Several people here have suggested that. That seems like too much of a romantic simplification to me. Moreover the sources I read suggested that it was related to brain structure.

The reasons people give would just be rationalisation because they're not aware of that instinct.Yes, that was pretty much my point.

[Lissou]

Several people here have suggested that. That seems like too much of a romantic simplification to me. Moreover the sources I read suggested that it was related to brain structure.

Ha, sorry. I skipped some posts when I replied about cutlery and only saw yours once it was quoted, so I missed other people's answers.

I personally consciously do that, though, kind of. Maybe I'm rationalising, too, but having a cat on my heart feels like we're closer. It warms me up and warms them up too. It feels much nicer to have them be cuddly there than on the other side. So it makes sense to me that it's the reason why.

[Teddy]

Several people here have suggested that. That seems like too much of a romantic simplification to me. Moreover the sources I read suggested that it was related to brain structure.

Given that the brain structure was built up through thousands of millenias of evolution, I don't think the one excludes the other. After all, a baby who feels safe and close to its mother is bound to have a higher survival rate and function better overall through its whole life.

[Serpentine]

No, I mean it's related to the way the mother's brain is structured, nothing to do with the heart or anything from what I saw. Facial recognition was mentioned. I posted a link before, didn't I?

[Teddy]

No, I mean it's related to the way the mother's brain is structured, nothing to do with the heart or anything from what I saw. Facial recognition was mentioned. I posted a link before, didn't I?

I didn't click on it back then, but I did so now. However, what I meant was that the female brain very well could be structured that way because it would produce more successful children, and thereby be favored by the natural selection.

[Serpentine]

I get the impression that it's the other way round, sort of: the way the brain is structured, specifically the things that are concentrated on the right-hand side of it, make it better (or maybe just coincidentally makes it preferential) to hold the baby in the left. As opposed to the brain being structured that way to accommodate holding the baby on the left.

[Teddy]

I get the impression that it's the other way round, sort of: the way the brain is structured, specifically the things that are concentrated on the right-hand side of it, make it better (or maybe just coincidentally makes it preferential) to hold the baby in the left. As opposed to the brain being structured that way to accommodate holding the baby on the left.

You have to take some more things in account. Reading the abstract of the paper you linked (the only thing I could access), they also stated that this behavior (or rather, the positive effects of it) was not found in males. This indicated that something has favored its existence in females, that is, it must be superior in some way, while it's not propagated in males, so there isn't any bias there.

This leads me to believe that while evolution has its own (pretty coincidential, given that it's based on random mutations) way of introducing new traits and gladly bases them on other, already existing traits, the benefits of this particular brain structure in females have propagated its spread through the natural selection.

[Serpentine]

I saw that. Another paper said it did find about the same frequency of it in males. Dunno, you'll have to look into it yourself :smalltongue:

[Teddy]

I saw that. Another paper said it did find about the same frequency of it in males. Dunno, you'll have to look into it yourself :smalltongue:

*shrug*
It would most likely only depend on what chromosome it's found in whether it's sex-linked or not. Actually, I think the prefer a source that says it finds it in both genders unless the current source can give a good explanation to why it isn't so.

[Lady Moreta]

I did that at a McDonald's once. You know those plastic tray and how people usually just load them up with their garbage so that they can shake them off into the garbage can? I just let go of mine. I didn't even stop talking to my friend at the time, and once I was finished all he said was,

"Did you... did you just toss the tray?"

Me: *shocked. Shifty eyes* Er no. let's get out of here.

That's nothing. My sister once chucked out my mother's eftpos card into the trash at a mall food court. Forgot it was sitting on the tray and just dumped the whole thing. Luckily the bin hadn't been used since and she realised it pretty quick and we got it back. But still :smalleek:

My own absurdity this morning: I almost put the sugar for my tea into the margarine (which was sitting open next to my mug)

[druid91]

Well I once ate steak with a spoon.

I was too lazy to wash a fork.:smallbiggrin:

[TFT]

So, there was this one time when I had a fairly mind case of food poisoning. If you've ever had food poisoning, you know how easy it is to remember that you shouldn't eat. Well, for some reason, my mind decided to completely forget that my body wasn't accepting food at the time and... well...

Let's just say that the results are about what you'd expect.

[Partof1]

Well I once ate steak with a spoon.

I was too lazy to wash a fork.:smallbiggrin:

That's pretty good. I ate jello with a straw, and it had bits of fruit in it. I was determined.

@Lady Moreta
What's an eftpos card?

[Lady Moreta]

@Lady Moreta
What's an eftpos card?

Ummm... it's a debit card? I think... only debit cards mean something different over here... It's a card you can use to access the money in your everyday banking account, either at an ATM or by using it when you purchase items. Kind of like a credit card except you don't buy stuff and then pay it back, you have to have the money in your account first (and you can't use it online). A debit card is the same as a credit card except in reverse - it takes money directly from your account (so you can't use it if you've got no money in your account) but it acts like a credit card so you can use it online.

[Moose Man]

I block out all pleasant and unpleasant memories I've ever had. Can't remember my first kiss, how many times I've dated person1 as opposed to person2, the taste of my favorite foods (although I had it for dinner), can't remember the sensation of pain, or many of other things.


I chase my cat.


I read so much that I can pull facts from nowhere, but can't remember the sources, or the information about ten seconds later.


My metabolism. I eat more than my stomach allows, yet the fat on my body is close to non-existent. I have to stow away food for sustenance.

I talk to my dog, much the same as mentioned earlier in this thread.


My thought patterns exist. I go from catnip to anatidaephobia to the situation in Israel to fleas in the space of a few seconds. I, on occasion, get deeply involved in whatever I'm thinking about, and when called upon, whether by teachers or friends, start voicing aloud my thoughts in the middle of class.
Ex. Me: What would the cat do when confronted with commoner1?
Friend: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: Well, the cat would probably look for a vital area while hiding in the shadows, then strike and kill.
Friend: WTF?


I also check my phone for text messages.

[H Birchgrove]

Yes Zodi, continue to use that bread knife to cut that piece of bread in your hand. Yes, the big bread knife that's all serrated and stuff. Keep on doing this, this is the best thing to do eve-OUCH.

I thankfully stopped before drawing blood, but god I should of known better.
I did that once too. Except that it was a plastic-thingie with rice porridge I wanted to open up.

And I *did* draw blood. Had to travel to the hospital to get it glued (they use some kind of glue now instead of sewing for smaller cuts). :smallsigh:

Some times when I've been on American or British forums for some time, I start to answer in English when people talk to me. Which has confused my fellow countrymen at least twice. :smallannoyed:


I'm right handed, cut with my left. Though admittedly, I do most stuff left handed, like typing, or sports swings.

You just want your right hand free so you can draw your revolver. :smallamused:

[Dvandemon]

I am often absent-minded, I am also very weird, this results is many situations where I leave people a little stunned with my absurdities. Sometimes I'm aware enough that I worry that I'm becoming an attention whore.

[Anuan]

In a simpler explanation; an eftpos card is a bank-card or ATM card, and a debit card is the same but has a number on it that allows it to be used online in the same way as a credit card.

[Dvandemon]

Oh! I just remembered that whenever I enter the car or the house, I always lock it. It's rather embarassing because I often lock my mom out :smallredface: but I just tell myself I have a good habit

[Mx.Silver]

While making cereal, I'll get a bowl down, go to get the cereal/milk and then return. Whereupon I discover that the receptacle I have actually gotten-out is not a bowl but a drinking glass. This happens about once a month, despite the fact that I keep my bowls and my glasses in seperate cupboards.

[grimbold]

While making cereal, I'll get a bowl down, go to get the cereal/milk and then return. Whereupon I discover that the receptacle I have actually gotten-out is not a bowl but a drinking glass. This happens about once a month, despite the fact that I keep my bowls and my glasses in seperate cupboards.

ahh this is an old classic
i do this pretty frequently

[Dusk Eclipse]

I too use my right hand (dominant in my case) to cut food and the left to spear them with the fork...though sometimes I use knives (mostly the serrated ones for meat) as forks.

I also lick the remnants of cream cheese or jam left on the knife after spreading it over a piece of bread, more than 15 years and I have yet yo cut my tongue (as my mother always says I will).

[arguskos]

When eating boneless wings, I use my pocket knife as a fork. :smallcool:

I've found that when eating square ravioli with a crimped edge, I eat the edges off first, then eat the delicious center last.

I chew on my glasses/pencils (and really need to stop :smallsigh:).

[Dusk Eclipse]

I chew on my glasses/pencils (and really need to stop :smallsigh:).

This too... only I don't use glasses; I mostly do it when I am trying to write something and can't (essays mostly)

[Delwugor]

I check that my car keys are in my pocket 3 times before locking the door, and once more after closing it.

[Teddy]

I check that my car keys are in my pocket 3 times before locking the door, and once more after closing it.

You lock it before you close it? :smallconfused:

[onthetown]

Work invades my brain. When I go to a restaurant to eat, after the waitress has taken my order and is about to leave to put in the order I'll sometimes say, "Have a nice day!" as if she were a customer. I also do this ordering fast food at the drive thru window and whenever I'm in a retail store as a customer.

Also, I press the door locker thing on my car keys five times even if I hear the doors locking.

[Lissou]

Work invades my brain. When I go to a restaurant to eat, after the waitress has taken my order and is about to leave to put in the order I'll sometimes say, "Have a nice day!" as if she were a customer. I also do this ordering fast food at the drive thru window and whenever I'm in a retail store as a customer.

I don't see this as weird. I always wish people a nice day at the drive through or in stores. I guess not after the take my order at a restaurant though because I know I'll see them again soon, I can wish them a nice day as they leave.

[onthetown]

I don't see this as weird. I always wish people a nice day at the drive through or in stores. I guess not after the take my order at a restaurant though because I know I'll see them again soon, I can wish them a nice day as they leave.

Yeah, I meant once they start to leave, like I think they're a customer leaving a store. For me to wish somebody a nice day outside of work is odd because I'm so shy, so I rarely say much.

[Delwugor]

You lock it before you close it? :smallconfused:
Yes, and if I used the lock button on my keychain after I closed the door it wouldn't be absurd. :smallwink:
To add more absurdity, I have never actually locked my keys in the car.

[CrimsonAngel]

When eating boneless wings, I use my pocket knife as a fork. :smallcool:

This is the best thing ever. My mental picture of you is an ex-marine who wears camo all the time and bears his teeth when he talks.

[Dvandemon]

While making cereal, I'll get a bowl down, go to get the cereal/milk and then return. Whereupon I discover that the receptacle I have actually gotten-out is not a bowl but a drinking glass. This happens about once a month, despite the fact that I keep my bowls and my glasses in seperate cupboards.

I sometimes pour milk into my bowl before the cereal. It takes, "Hey, why is there cereal all over the table?" for me to realize wht I'm doing.

[arguskos]

This is the best thing ever. My mental picture of you is an ex-marine who wears camo all the time and bears his teeth when he talks.
I started because at my weekly wing night with my buddies, they failed to give us silverware and I didn't want to use my fingers. So, I broke out my pocket knife, stabbed one, and went to town. My friends have a running bet that one day I'll cut my own tongue. So far, it hasn't happened. :smallcool:

[Skavensrule]

Last week I bought a bag of birdseed for the feeder outside. I chose the type that had a ziplock fastener so that I could store the open bag easier.
First thing I did when I got home? Cut the corner off of the bag right through the ziplock.:smallfrown:

[grimbold]

Last week I bought a bag of birdseed for the feeder outside. I chose the type that had a ziplock fastener so that I could store the open bag easier.
First thing I did when I got home? Cut the corner off of the bag right through the ziplock.:smallfrown:

for me thats an old standard

i am a very stupid person