[3.5] Cat vs commoner, RL edition [Archive] - Giant in the Playground Forums

Keld Denar

2011-05-10, 07:23 PM

I just heard about this story on the radio and had to immediately share it with you guys.

Man airlifted after fight with cat (http://www.yourhoustonnews.com/cleveland/news/article_3f8b7022-782a-11e0-b12d-001cc4c002e0.html)

EDIT: Better story here. (http://www.click2houston.com/news/27831869/detail.html)

Poor guy, even armed with a dagger, he still couldn't defeat the common housecat. It sounds like it got a surprise round on him...

lulz

Major

2011-05-10, 07:26 PM

The altercation between the man and the animal occurred at a home on CR 3182

A CR 3182 house cat O.O

Keld Denar

2011-05-10, 07:31 PM

Snuggle's avatar?

grarrrg

2011-05-10, 07:31 PM

A CR 3182 house cat O.O

Nonono, the HOME was CR 3182.
It must be designed like a Gazebo.

tyckspoon

2011-05-10, 07:32 PM

For those who aren't going to bother reading the article proper: the cat was injured to the point where it was euthanized later, and the man..

the man and the cat reportedly were injured by a knife the man was holding.

probably thinks Critical Fumble charts are a really bad idea now.

Fable Wright

2011-05-10, 07:34 PM

1. Apparently, Wizards did know what they were doing when they made the housecat stronger than the average commoner...

2. This proves that Experts do get that bonus to attack...

3. Poor kitty. :smallfrown:

Anxe

2011-05-10, 07:45 PM

"The alterCATion between the man and the animal..."

Zaq

2011-05-10, 08:37 PM

Technically speaking, a feral cat and a housecat aren't quite the same thing.

That said, I still laughed. I then felt bad about doing so, but I laughed.

Marnath

2011-05-10, 08:45 PM

Knife is a really bad choice of weapon for that. Ideally you want something with reach, like a shovel. Not that I, uh, have much experience with that.. >.>

Feral cats are not a joke, man.:smalleek:

Tvtyrant

2011-05-10, 08:47 PM

A bobcat attacked an entire bar full of people in Portland once; it defeated seven of them with its rabies infecting claws before animal control showed up to get rid of it. All of the people had to get stitches and rabies shots.

The best part: it was a pool bar and they all had pool sticks, but none of them managed to even injure the bobcat. Take that humanity!

John Campbell

2011-05-10, 09:51 PM

graeylin

2011-05-10, 09:55 PM

Divide by Zero

2011-05-10, 10:35 PM

(I apparently have Combat Reflexes and Improved Unarmed Strike, because I got the AoO when it moved into my square, even though I was unarmed and flat-footed.)

Sounds more like that one Setting Sun maneuver that lets you counter a charge and toss the attacker away from you.

Tiki Snakes

2011-05-10, 11:09 PM

I read that this morning, and i had two thoughts..

That cat, eyeing the guy in his own bathroom, saying "You call that a knife?" and flexing it's claws like wolverine... "Now this is a knife"

or, the cat with a Sean Connery accent, saying "You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!"

I can't help but think that the guy isn't being very truthful. He went for a knife, but we're expected to think the cat attacked first?

I think this is a story featuring a wounded cat nearly taking it's ambusher with him, personally. But that might just be my own cynical nature playing up. :smallwink:

Hand_of_Vecna

2011-05-11, 02:49 AM

It makes me sad that such a formidable warrior came to such an unheroic end.

Elric VIII

2011-05-11, 04:58 AM

Does it say when they're euthanizing the idiot that attacked the cat?

Coidzor

2011-05-11, 05:56 AM

Odd they had to euthanize it. I'd always thought testing animals for rabies was invariably fatal due to needing to get at their brain meats. :smallconfused:

ericgrau

2011-05-11, 07:34 AM

They probably euthanized the cat in both cases because it attacked a person, not necessarily because it was hurt.

The second one was 20 pounds. Big cat.

Greenish

2011-05-11, 08:12 AM

Sounds more like that one Setting Sun maneuver that lets you counter a charge and toss the attacker away from you.Except you can't use that when you're flat footed.

Quietus

2011-05-11, 08:25 AM

They probably euthanized the cat in both cases because it attacked a person, not necessarily because it was hurt.

The second one was 20 pounds. Big cat.

They're the same case. Either that, or there was more than one CR 3182 running around, which is kinda scary to think about.

Also worth noting : The man was 40, so he was into middle age. With those stat penalties, it's amazing he survived at all!

Tyndmyr

2011-05-11, 08:31 AM

Technically speaking, a feral cat and a housecat aren't quite the same thing.

The difference is really just upbringing. I once had a previously feral cat as a pet. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. In this case, once she got used to people, she basically realized she loved attention. Still, nothing small and living was going to invade that condo.

Yeah, he definitely should have used a bigger weapon. Would have given him much better odds.

Hyfigh

2011-05-11, 09:37 AM

I don't think a larger knife/sword would have changed the CR at all. Maybe a firearm? Aren't those a touch attack save or suck in RL?

Tyndmyr

2011-05-11, 09:57 AM

I don't think a larger knife/sword would have changed the CR at all. Maybe a firearm? Aren't those a touch attack save or suck in RL?

Nah, but they have a much bigger damage potential. Even a 9mm is 2d6. The commoner is still in trouble if he fails to ever hit, but a single hit would pretty much be all win.

And as an intelligent opponent, the cat might decide to retreat at the first shot.

ericgrau

2011-05-11, 09:58 AM

But cats have a 14 touch AC and a commoner has an attack bonus of +0. What you really need is something more likely to hit. One deep stab would have done it too, but it sounds like he probably gave the cat a bunch of shallow cuts out of desperation. So to clarify, he needs something more likely to get a good hit. Maybe a frying pan if the cat's not already in his face/leg/stomach. I've heard of at least one other fight that basically ended with remove cat from face, kill with large blunt object.

Grendus

2011-05-11, 10:47 AM

Last time I got jumped (literally!) by a cat, it went for my face, and I caught it by the head in mid-leap and tossed it about fifteen feet. It reconsidered my encounter level after that, and booked it.

(I apparently have Combat Reflexes and Improved Unarmed Strike, because I got the AoO when it moved into my square, even though I was unarmed and flat-footed.)

I'd argue that you made your spot check to act in the surprise round. Since you probably aren't proficient with your fists (unless you've had martial arts training), you probably won initiative and readied an action to grapple if the cat tried to enter your space. Hitting a cat is tricky with their tiny size and dex, but even an average commoner with below average strength - the norm for a modern human I'm afraid - can still hit on a good roll. The cat missed it's AoO, and you won the grapple check easily - two size categories and a higher strength will do that. Before the cat could make an escape artist check, you threw it (are there rules for throwing someone from a grapple?). Tricky, but by rules even an average commoner could turn the tables in a grapple.

suszterpatt

2011-05-11, 11:23 AM

Mr. Scruffy would be proud.

Quietus

2011-05-12, 12:49 PM

I'd argue that you made your spot check to act in the surprise round. Since you probably aren't proficient with your fists (unless you've had martial arts training), you probably won initiative and readied an action to grapple if the cat tried to enter your space. Hitting a cat is tricky with their tiny size and dex, but even an average commoner with below average strength - the norm for a modern human I'm afraid - can still hit on a good roll. The cat missed it's AoO, and you won the grapple check easily - two size categories and a higher strength will do that. Before the cat could make an escape artist check, you threw it (are there rules for throwing someone from a grapple?). Tricky, but by rules even an average commoner could turn the tables in a grapple.

The cat wouldn't get an AoO, due to not having a threatened area. Just sayin'.

Cipher Stars

2011-05-12, 12:54 PM

A CR 3182 house cat O.O

at least it wasn't OVER 9000!!!

And my Uncle thinks cats are harmless...

ericgrau

2011-05-12, 01:22 PM

I'm pretty sure my dog is harmless. My mailman isn't so sure. One time my dog started a ruckus until a picked him up from behind. Suddenly he turned into a docile 40 pound wide eyed puppy again as I carried him back inside.

Incanur

2011-05-12, 01:41 PM

I think this is a story featuring a wounded cat nearly taking it's ambusher with him, personally.

This strikes me as plausible. No real way to know, though. A horrific story in any case.

Gullintanni

2011-05-12, 01:43 PM

The cat wouldn't get an AoO, due to not having a threatened area. Just sayin'.

This is where you're wrong. House cats threaten every area.

Lastgrasp

2011-05-12, 06:15 PM

I have a cat, how the freak do you end up getting into a fight with it? Dead cat, knife, and guy in hospital. Wtf?

Quietus

2011-05-12, 06:56 PM

This is where you're wrong. House cats threaten every area.

I stand corrected!

I have a cat, how the freak do you end up getting into a fight with it? Dead cat, knife, and guy in hospital. Wtf?

This was a wild cat, so it hadn't learned how to pee in a box. I totally understand.

TurtleKing

2011-05-12, 07:14 PM

How to stop a non-feral cat.

Step 1: Grab a large towel.
Step 2: Put towel over cat's head.
Step 3: Wrap cat in the large towel.
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit.

How to stop a feral cat.

Step 1: Grab a large towel and blunt object.
Step 2: Put towel over feral cat in any way possible.
Step 3: Wrap feral cat in the large towel.
Step 4: Hold the towel with the feral cat wrapped up in one hand while beating with the blunt object in the other.
Step 5 : ???
Step 6: Profit.

Advice inspired from working at a vet. Note I do not condone violence against animals unless necessary.

Grendus

2011-05-12, 07:19 PM

How to stop a feral cat

1. Lock door
2. Get M15
3. Profit
4. Get mop

When I worked at a kennel, someone left a big can of catnip in the cat room. Best way to get the vicious cats out of the cage was to give them handfuls of nip until they were stoned out of their flipping mind. Worked like a charm...