How do you get back into D&D?

[Aesshen]

So this may strike some of you as kind of a depressing story, but I'd appreciate some advice. I found my uncle's old D&D books - we're talking first edition here - in a closet in my grandparents' house when I was 8, and was immediately hooked. I spent glorious hours rolling up overpowered Mary Sue characters and reading the fluff in the old modules, but of course I had no one to play with at that age. By middle school, though, I had obligingly geeky friends and a metric ton of 3E books, so I started playing regularly.

In high school, though, I became extremely dissatisfied with those friends and the way other people thought of me. I cut my hair, got contacts, started wearing makeup, and began a long, slow climb of the social ladder. And it worked, more or less, except that not for a moment did I stop wanting to play D&D - and watch anime, and read comic books, and everything else, but those were things I could do on my own where no one could see me. I wanted to join the D&D club my first year of high school, but it was all boys, and they were none too fragrant, and most of all I didn't want people to find out. I tried to go into a gaming store, but some people made fun of me in the elevator (geeks, I must add, who were apparently unhappy about my short skirt and my lip gloss) and I left without buying any books and never went back.

Now, though, I have a little bit more confidence in myself, and could probably admit to liking D&D to anyone who asked (although it isn't information I'd volunteer). I want to start playing again. How do you begin again when you have no friends who would be interested? I just want to find a group of nice, intelligent people who want an RPG-heavy game and don't mind my spotty understanding of the rules. Has anyone gone through anything similar? Really, any advice would be much appreciated.

[An Enemy Spy]

None too fragrant? As in, they smelled like a dead skunk's unwashed feet?

[LibraryOgre]

http://rpg-crank.livejournal.com/29308.html

So you're a little bit older and a lot less bolder
Than you used to be
So you used to shake a die
But now you stop and think about your dignity
So now geek sixteen's turned thirty-one
You get to feelin weary when the work days done
Well all you got to do is get up, get some dee six
to get your fix
Come back baby
D&D never forgets

You better make yourself a fighter
Go down to the gamestore or the local mall
Check the local BBS
Chances are you wont have to go too far
Yeah the rafters will be ringing as the game goes on
The group will be shouting as they're playin' along
And all you got to do is get in into the mix
If you need a fix
Come back baby
D&D never forgets
Oh the bards still playing it loud and lean
Listen to the fighters all making 'em scream
All you got to do is just make that scene tonight
Heh tonight

Well now geek sixteens turned thirty-one
Feel a little tired feeling under the gun
Well all Gary's children are out there getting their fix
With three dee six
Come back baby
D&D never forgets
Said you can come back baby
D&D never forgets

tl;dr: Shame on you. :smallwink: However, if you're wanting to get back into gaming, look for games. Hit comic book shops and ask if anyone's running a game. Check out where the D&D Encounters is meeting. Meet some people who you think might be into it and get them to play a game... either a straight up RPG, something semi-RPG (like the D&D board games or Munchkin), or just sit around and watch a geek movie. Figure out if you can stand these people enough to make time for them a couple times a month.

And good luck.

[Haruki-kun]

So you're a little bit older and a lot less bolder
Than you used to be
So you used to shake a die
But now you stop and think about your dignity
So now geek sixteen's turned thirty-one
You get to feelin weary when the work days done
Well all you got to do is get up, get some dee six
to get your fix
Come back baby
D&D never forgets

You better make yourself a fighter
Go down to the gamestore or the local mall
Check the local BBS
Chances are you wont have to go too far
Yeah the rafters will be ringing as the game goes on
The group will be shouting as they're playin' along
And all you got to do is get in into the mix
If you need a fix
Come back baby
D&D never forgets
Oh the bards still playing it loud and lean
Listen to the fighters all making 'em scream
All you got to do is just make that scene tonight
Heh tonight

Well now geek sixteens turned thirty-one
Feel a little tired feeling under the gun
Well all Gary's children are out there getting their fix
With three dee six
Come back baby
D&D never forgets
Said you can come back baby
D&D never forgets

Got a smile out of me. :smalltongue:

[DeadManSleeping]

If you're in college, your school likely has a gaming group. Try and find it.

Your local game store may be scary, but check it for postings on games in your area. Many FLGSs have bulletin boards, and even mailing lists.

For shopping, use the internet. You can get all the books there. All of them.

[Lady Moreta]

If you don't mind the idea of playing online in a play-by-post format, you could try here as well (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=51) :smallsmile:

And I quite understand. I've only been playing for 3.5 years, but I am still reluctant to admit that every second Sunday is D&D day to people I work with...

[Combat Reflexes]

Hey! Where on earth did you get the opinion "D&D equals geeky" from? Why playing D&D OR having a social life when you can have both?

Some friend groups started out as d&d groups. In my case, the opposite is true. I went to a family weekend*, got familiar with d&d, took the idea home, bought a few rulebooks and voìla: general acceptance and enthousiasm. I got three-quarters of my friend group hooked to d&d (3.5) in no time.

Nowadays we play d&d on saturday midday-evening, and we're going out after that (but I admit: not always with the same people)

What my point is? That PC parties and RL parties are NOT mutually exclusive.

And come on, no gaming group is going to say 'no' to a girl in a short skirt :smallwink:

* my family is mostly a bunch of alto's: goths, alcoholics, scouts, extreme atheists and one out-of-place jock. I love them. :smallredface:

ps. buy the pour souls some (manly) deodorants. They deserve it.

[Asta Kask]

One way would be to go to the itP forum known as Finding Players (Recruitment) and look around. Maybe post, even. :smallwink:

[Qaera]

In high school, if a girl was known to play DnD, she would probably be ridiculed by the socials. Not saying this is good, but this is what happens. I've seen it at my school (and not even with DnD).

[GeekGirl]

In high school, if a girl was known to play DnD, she would probably be ridiculed by the socials. Not saying this is good, but this is what happens. I've seen it at my school (and not even with DnD).

True story. As much as I enjoyed playing tabletops in high school, I pretty much stopped. I'm pretty good at not letting other people get to me, but it was down right hard back then. Luckily College was the complete opposite, and all ended well ^_^

[nerd-7i+42e]

If you find people who you think would enjoy playing but have never been introduced to it, you could always say, "I know you don't play D&D, but would you like to learn?"

[Ursus the Grim]

It depends on where you are and what your transportation options are. All I had to do for a friend was to google "Gaming groups near Chesapeake, VA" and got a pretty good hit that he's enjoying. Heck, I'd do it for you, but asking someone for age and location is generally against social etiquette.

If you're in college, it should be even easier. People are generally less concerned with social circles and such and often times they'll have some way to find others seeking some games. My college, a modest size, has a general gaming group called "Critical Hit" and I found other players in a week using the Facebook page.

As for the mention of somebody that 'no gaming group will turn down a gamer girl in a short skirt', I would politely request that you do NOT use that to your advantage. Dress as you normally would, don't try to work the appeal. It can just make things awkward. Don't "dress down" because you're among geeks and nerds, but don't "dress up" because you figure being a pretty girl in a short skirt will get you more friends. I play in a group with an equal gender ratio and players on both sides were pretty uncomfortable because they were afraid every stupid thing they said would be interpreted as flirting, and none of them were single. We've since gotten over that and just had our own little "pool" episode.

[Ravens_cry]

I got into PnP RPG gaming by going to a local comic book and asking if there was any groups in the area. The employee at the front desk, a future DM of mine, said yes, they were trying out 4th Edition that Sunday, and while 4th editon never worked out for us, gaming has.

[Crow]

If I told my coworkers that I play D&D, I would be mercilessly ridiculed and poked fun at. The lengths to which they would go to come up with new and clever ways to jab at me would know no bounds.

So I can understand.

I'm not entirely sure why rpg's and the people who play them can be looked down upon, and I certainly disagree with it. However, wrong as it may be, in the eyes of my coworkers, and those I do work for, rolling some dice with friends and pretending I'm a wizard every once in a while would hurt my credibility because I have a "serious" job.

So I keep parts of my life separate from other parts. Not everything needs to be integrated into everything else I do, and it works fine.

In any case...Try your local gaming store (sadly ours isn't "friendly"), or ask some of your friends or people you know who have other "geeky" interests. I've even heard of people breaking out a simple game of D&D (w/ pregen characters) the way that some people would break out a game of trivial pursuit at a gathering. Not everyone knows the rules, but a good DM keeps it moving alright.

[Whiffet]

If you have a good store nearby for this sort of thing, you may be able to find players. Our local comics-and-gaming store has DnD Encounters on Wednesdays. That's not a possibility everywhere, but you should keep your eye out for opportunities.

[Surfing HalfOrc]

And there's always RPoL.net. I am running a 1st Ed game there that is a 1st Ed rewrite of The Savage Tide Adventure Path. It has been going strong for over a year, and we could always use another player.

But ditto on the stop in at a game or comic shop, check for any bullitin boards or other notices of games or players. Also, check around campus, and maybe Meetup.com. I used that website once, and found a good group near where I lived in Alabama. Havent used it in a while, so I dont know if it still exists or not...

[polity4life]

It's actually surprising how many people in a social network do some form of table top gaming. I forsake the game for a few years because I was tired of ridicule (I gave folks plenty of ammo ontop of what they decided to make). Once I reached a more comfortable, confident phase of my life, I actively sought games and found that many of my friends already play; they just assumed that I wasn't interested. Also, many friends of friends who played in these groups invited me into other games and then I became inundated with table top fun.

[Lord Loss]

I play D&D. I have have friends from every rung of the social ladder. I haven't been teased for playing D&D since Grade 6 (I proceeded to bring in a stack of books and magic cards and myself and the teacher, who was also a D&D nerd got a bunch of other guys to play D&D and magic or at least watch and most admitted it was pretty cool).

The D&D Player = Geeky Loser image is long gone. Sure, people still get teased for it. Some of the more popular people at my school have tried D&D, not many of them liked it but they don't ridicule people. One of them even asked me to GM for them (scheduling issues and the end of the year stopped it from happening, but still).

As long as you don't go waving your D&D books around, making D&D jokes or comparing classes in front of your freinds who don't like it, I don't think they'll care very much. Some people might even be interested in giving it a shot!

[Aron Times]

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/TryDnD.aspx

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=51

You're welcome.

[shadow_archmagi]

I think everything useful has already been said, but I'll restate it because I have nothing better to do.

1. D&D really shouldn't carry that impressive of a stigma and you could probably co-opt your friends into it pretty easily. I know my group started when I said "Hey, Adam, Mike, wanna try something new?" and it turned out that my friend Mike had already bought the Dragonomicon because it had the word Dragon in it.

2. The internet has an infinite supply of people; I'm confident you could find the game you were looking for on GITP if you were willing to look long enough. You might even want to try using the internet to find RL games in your area. I'm sure someone's jury-rigged the formulas from a dating website so it can match campaign groups.

3A. Geeks taunting a girl? That's weird. Definitely not the norm. It's possible for entire stores to be full of terrible people (Eugh, I knew one card shop where everyone played starcraft and street fighter and called people scrubs) but it definitely isn't the norm.

3B. Going to gaming stores and asking if they know when local groups meet is a good idea. You can meet with a few groups and see if any of them have room for another player, and if they fit your needs.

[GeekGirl]

3A. Geeks taunting a girl? That's weird. Definitely not the norm. It's possible for entire stores to be full of terrible people (Eugh, I knew one card shop where everyone played starcraft and street fighter and called people scrubs) but it definitely isn't the norm. .

I can't speak for everyone, but geeks never made fun of me; they have always been awesome. It was everyone else who caused problems.

[Keld Denar]

I'm guessing that they were intimidated, and dealt with that intimidation in the only way they knew how...the same way they were delt with by everyone else their whole life. By being jackwagons. I wouldn't take it personally, if anything, its their failing, not yours. MOST gamers are more socially adept than that, so take them as the exception rather than the rule.

Anyway, welcome to adulthood. To paraphrase CS Lewis:

"When I was a child, I read fairy tales under the covers for fear that I would appear childish. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of appearing childish."

You don't have to be ashamed of being a geek anymore. Being a geek has its own appeal. Some people still might think its wierd, but most just accept it. I tell girls I date that I sit around with friends and play pretend all the time, and it hasn't hurt my chances in the dating world one bit. In fact, most find it "cute" and "endeering". On the other side of the gender fence, gamer guys like gamer chicks. Its fun to have someone to cosplay with at conventions, watch anime and game with, and debate the finer points of who would win in a duel between Hulk and the Thing. Having similar interests is now sexy, rather than intimidating as those gamers in the elevator reacted.

The gamer group I play with in Seattle, I met through a yahoo group (Seattle Gamers Assemble). Its a completely volunteer board that helps put gamers in touch with gamers for all systems. They also have convention and game day announcements when things like PaizoCon, DragonCon, EmeraldCityGamefest, and whatnot are, as well as the weekly Indy Game Night at Wayward Coffee House. I'd suggest looking around for such a board like that, then just subscribe and write in saying "Hi, my name is X, I live near Y, and I'm looking for groups that play P, Q, R, or S. I can commit to play on Z days. Are there any groups with similar interest I could join?"

And then, with everything else, network network network! The more people you know, the more people you meet, and the more interesting games you might get in.

[Giggling Ghast]

Considering I was one of those none-too-fragrant D&D-playing outcasts in high school, I don't blame you for not wanting to join. (I wasn't at your school, I'm speaking metaphorically.)

[big teej]

If you don't mind the idea of playing online in a play-by-post format, you could try here as well (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=51) :smallsmile:

And I quite understand. I've only been playing for 3.5 years, but I am still reluctant to admit that every second Sunday is D&D day to people I work with...

heh. on average, within 15 minutes of meeting me, some gaming reference has been made.

but as stated by others, try these forums (people will be more than happy to accomodate a first timer to pbp) and check around on campus.

heck, I started my campus' group. though the odds of you being there are..... astronomically low.

but all ya gotta do is ask around a bit, maybe put up a few fliers. etc.

[Anxe]

Craigs list could work too, but you'll want to be pretty specific about what you mean by roleplay...:smalleek:

EDIT: And even if you aren't college anymore, most college groups are welcoming to people who don't actually go to the college. Most of my college's group is graduates or high schoolers.

[Sahadeva]

I'm in the same situation. I'm not embarrased about being into RPGs, but I've tried a few times to find a group around here, and the people I've encountered have been lacking in social skills, personal hygiene, sanity, or all of the above. And my friends definitely aren't RPG playing types. I don't want to say that the only people who play RPGs are social rejects, because I've seen online that it's not true, but I'd definitely think so if it weren't for that (my childhood/teen gaming group were all social rejects).

I'm fine with the fact that I have to stick to internet games, to be honest I'd have to shuffle my life around a bit if I wanted to have a regular game, and wear myself out doing things at other times. Though I still have a faint hope that maybe I'll make a friend who is, or would be, into it.

[rakkoon]

I'd like to retire now and start roleplaying again. Perhaps when the kids leave the house or something. When I was in college we played for three nights straight and just crashed at a friends place but nowadays I just can't find the time you need to commit to a game.

[rglawson]

Sorry to resurrect an old post but if you've any interest in playing a virtual tabletop game, a couple of friends and I are looking into some 3rd or 3.5 edition rule-set Forgotten Realms based stuff. Still trying to decide between using d20pro or Fantasygrounds, but should have a decision in the next two weeks. Feel free to send me a PM, an email or look me up on Google+
Looking to start up new characters in the Tilverton/Daleland/Cormyr area.