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Rentaromon
2011-06-24, 04:22 PM
Just something i have been working on, tell me what you think!


Crystalline : A race of humans who have been fused with living crystal. Their bodies wile made of crystal are crafted to match their normal human anatomy with only a few exceptions. The towns and cities of crystalline are commonly peaceful places with no crime as the enforcers of the law can literally look into people’s minds to determine their guilt or innocence.

Physical Description: Crystalline appear human with male and female attributes exaggerated. Females are slim slender and graceful wile males are more gruff and sturdy. Individuals who have gained the ability to control the living crystal in their body can sometimes have areas of their bodies replaced by crystal, perhaps the bones of the arm are more pronounced and stick out as a crystal at the shoulder, or a few fingers and entirely crystallized. Certain attributes can even be changed at a crystalline stylists shop for a price, a woman might have golden blond hair one day then a nearly glowing red the next.

While not actually organic but living crystal they act for mechanical purposes as an organic humanoid.

Society: The crystalline have very strict law and any crime cannot be hidden from the advanced crystalline and their ability to read the minds of normal crystalline. While the laws may be near impossible to fight most people agree they are just and properly enforced, the ones who do not agree usually go into exile. With the ability to read each other’s minds corruption is near impossible, unless the highest crystalline in the area is corrupt. The higher crystalline are chosen if they have proved themselves in some way to be trustworthy and skilled, usually threw their mental abilities or proving themselves in combat. Being born from two higher crystalline does not mean you are automatically a higher crystalline. The highest crystalline in an area is the final ruling on what the laws mean as some are admittedly very open to interpretation.

Relations: Their human appearance means a crystalline can blend into societies with little trouble. Higher crystalline have an air of superiority and power that most people can pick up on that makes them feared or respected by people of other races; however fear is more common than respect. People who appreciate the law and abilities of the crystalline tend to enjoy time among them wile people who deal in crime tend to avoid their lands at all costs.

Crystalline can come off as a bit fearless of their own death as they grow older as it is a natural part of life for them to accept death in the end, however they are often overprotective of children, fearing they might not have a chance to live their full life. Both of these beliefs come from the prime crystal lords teachings.

Alignment and Religion: The law among the crystalline tends to make evil acts an impossibility, crystalline that use their powers for evil are constantly on the run from their own kind. Most crystalline are either good, lawful, or neutral, being evil or chaotic tends to be more trouble than it is worth.

There is no established religion among the crystalline; people may follow any god or gods they wish. A large group of people do worship the prime crystal lord, though he does not encourage this as he is not a god.

Adventures: A crystalline may find the life of an adventurer as exciting ways to better themselves and their people. Running into a crystalline on the road or far from their homes is rare, but not impossible.

Age: Crystalline grow like a human up to age 20, at that point they are considered adults and stop ageing, they do not suffer the negative effects of ageing until they decide their time among the living is complete, usually around 100 years and with their significant other. While there is no law limiting the age of people it is looked down on to choose to outlive your family.

Height/Weight: a average male is between 5.8 and 6.4 while a female is between 5.2 and 5.10. Males tend to weigh significantly more than a female between 180 and 250 while a female usually weighs half that.

Crystalline:
+2wis: A crystalline mind is strong and sturdy. Additionally a male gains +2 constitution and -2 dexterity, and a female gains -2 constitution and +2 dexterity.
Medium: Crystalline have no bonuses or penalties due to size.
Normal speed: Crystalline have a base speed of 30 ft.
Crystal Body: Crystalline have the earth subtype.
Crystallization Feeding: a crystalline does not need to eat or drink, instead they must eat 10 pounds (5 pounds for females) of soft material like food, soil, plants, or cloth per day or suffer starvation, and this has no effect on his body weight. Each pound of food eaten heals 1hp, to a maximum of 2 health/level per day. A crystalline maximum weight increases by his hp total and decreases when he takes damage. Feeding takes a full round action for each 1 pound eaten.
Feminine/Masculine: A female crystalline gains acrobatic as a bonus feat, a male gains toughness as a bonus feat.
Sink like a rock: a crystalline is not buoyant in water and sinks as if made of solid rock, he has -8 to swim skill.
Languages: Crystalline speak common.

Advanced Crystalline:
+2wisdom +2constitution if male +2wisdom +2dextarity if female
Medium: Crystalline have no bonuses or penalties due to size.
Normal speed: Crystalline have a base speed of 30 ft.
Advanced Crystal Body: Crystalline have the earth subtype, 5 resistance acid, DR/5 vs nonlethal, and +1 natural armor.
Spell like abilities: Mindlink/at will Read Thoughts/2perday Mind Control/1perday these powers can only be used on crystalline or advanced crystalline.
Crystallization Feeding: a crystalline does not need to eat or drink, instead they must eat 10 pounds (5 pounds for females) of soft material like food, soil, plants, or cloth per day or suffer starvation, and this has no effect on his body weight. Each pound of food eaten heals 1hp, to a maximum of 2 health/level per day. A crystalline maximum weight increases by his hp total and decreases when he takes damage. Feeding takes a full round action for each 1 pound eaten.
Advanced Feminine/Masculine: A female crystalline gains acrobatic as a bonus feat and +2 reflex, a male gains toughness as a bonus feat and +2 fortitude.
Sink like a rock: a crystalline is not buoyant in water and sinks as if made of solid rock, he has -8 to swim skill.
Languages: Crystalline speak common.


Crystallization Feats:

coming soon.

Crystal Lord

Crystalline have a powerful weapon with them at all times, their body.

Role: Crystal Lords can fit almost any roll. By choosing certain schools and specializations you could lead an army of crystal minions, wield deadly claws as a monster, blast away your opponents with energy beams and razor sharp shards of crystal, and so many other things.

Alignment: Any.

Hit Dice: d10.

Starting Wealth: 6d6 x 10 (average 200gp.) In addition, each character begins play with an outfit worth 10gp or less.

Class Skills
The Crystal Lords class skills are: Appraise, Bluff, Craft, Disguise, Intimidate, Knowledge(Engineering), Perception, Perform, Profession, Sense Motive, Stealth

Skill Ranks Per Level: 4+Int modifier

Table: Crystal Lord

{table=head]Level:|BAB:|Fort:|Ref:|Will:|Special:

1st|+0|+0|+0|+0| 1st School, Energy

2nd|+1|+0|+0|+0| specialization

3rd|+2|+1|+1|+1| Inhuman Resistance

4th|+3|+1|+1|+1| specialization

5th|+3|+1|+1|+1| Advanced Feeding

6th|+4|+2|+2|+2| 2nd School

7th|+5|+2|+2|+2| specialization

8th|+6|+2|+2|+2| Inhuman Resistance

9th|+6|+3|+3|+3| specialization

10th|+7|+3|+3|+3| Advanced crystalline

11th|+8|+3|+3|+3| 3rd School

12th|+9|+4|+4|+4| specialization

13th|+9|+4|+4|+4| Inhuman Resistance

14th|+10|+4|+4|+4| specialization

15th|+11|+5|+5|+5| Crystallize

16th|+12|+5|+5|+5| 4th School

17th|+12|+5|+5|+5| specialization

18th|+13|+6|+6|+6| Inhuman Resistance

19th|+14|+6|+6|+6| specialization

20th|+15|+6|+6|+6| 5th School[/table]

Class Features
The following are class features for the Crystal Lord.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency
A Crystal Lord is proficient with light armor and simple weapons.

Energy: The crystalline body holds energy in it that moves the body and sustains its mind, and he can harness this energy to modify his body and mind. A crystalline can hold energy equal to twice its level plus wisdom modifier. Any time you gain HP from a magical source you gain 1 energy for each dice rolled, or just one for the entire spell if no dice are rolled.

Inhuman Resistance: As a crystal lord learns to control the crystal of their body they learn to remove the weaknesses of flesh and bone. At level 3 a Crystal Lord can stop sickened effects as a standard action. At level 8 they are immune to the sickened condition and can end a bleed effect as a standard action. At level 13 they gain immunity to bleed effects and can end a pain effect as a standard action. At level 18 they gain immunity to pain effects.

Feed Advanced: You may use feed to gain energy instead of HP, this does not count against your daily uses but takes twice as long to do. At level 5 your daily uses of feed become 4/day instead of 2/day. At level 8 you gain hp or energy(times 1/2 rounded down) equal to your wisdom instead of 1 when feeding. At level 12 you may eat as a standard action instead of a full round action. At level 20 there is no limit to the number of times you can use feed.

Schools: Crystal Lords learn to control different schools of their abilities. Each school gives access to completely new abilities that greatly shape how the Crystal Lord will fight and live. At level 1, 6, 11, 16, and 20 a Crystal Lord chooses a school to learn.

Body Crafting: Crystal lords can learn to alter their body to match what they need at the time. This functions as the Customization ability of the aegis. To gain a customization point a crystal lord must pay one energy point, these points can not be replaced as long as the crystal lord has the customization active. You may gain and lose customizations as a full round action. At level 7 you may gain and lose customizations as a standard action. At level 15 you may gain or lose up to your wisdom modifier in customizations as a full round action. The normal level restrictions for a customization apply to your crystal lord level.
Additionally you gain a few customizations specific to the crystal lord:
1point:
Compression: you shrink by 1 size category. You gain a +2 size bonus to Dexterity, a –2 size penalty to Strength (to a minimum of 1), a +1 size bonus on attack rolls and AC due to your reduced size. Lvl 6 limit. Can not be used with other size changing effects.

Improved natural weapon: choose a natural weapon type you have, you treat attacks from that natural weapon as 1 size larger. You may choose this customization once at level 5 and an additional time each 5 levels after that.

2point:
Super Compression: you change your size to very small You gain a +4 size bonus to Dexterity, a –4 size penalty to Strength (to a minimum effective Strength score of 1), a +2 size bonus on attack rolls, and a +2 size bonus to Armor Class due to your reduced size. Lvl 12 limit and must already have the compression costomization. Can not be used with any other size changing effect.

Natural weapons: You gain your choice of any primary natural weapon, or any 2 secondary natural weapons. Claw attacks count as primary but you gain 2 of them. Tail slap counts as a secondary but you only gain 1 attack, and a +4 bonus to acrobatics.

Knowledgeable: gain a +2 bonus to intelligence, this works like the other customizations that increase statistics.

Cleverness: gain a +2 bonus to wisdom, this works like the other customizations that increase statistics.

Emotion Reader: gain a +2 bonus to charisma, this works like the other customizations that increase statistics.
Craft item: By using some of the crystal in your body you may craft some simple objects for use. All objects created this way are made of solid crystal and gain the fragile quality but are actual items and are not effected by non-magic zones. Complex items like a crossbow or items requiring specific items like explosives or chemicals can not be created with this ability. Creating an item takes 1 minute. At level 11 you instead make an item in 1 full round. At level 20 you may make items as a swift action. Items created require an amount of HP equal to its weight. This HP loss can be replaced by feeding and does not count against your normal limit of HP gained per day.

Craft minion: You may make smaller minions to serve you. This ability functions like casting astral construct however it appears within 5ft of you, costs energy equal to the pp cost, and 5 hp for each point of energy used, has a duration of 1minute/level, and takes 1 minute to craft. The crafting time becomes 1 full round action at level 11. You may gain this HP back in the same way as done with craft item. By paying 2 more energy the duration of a construct is 1hour/level, you do not have to pay extra hp for this augmentation. You cannot regain lost energy used to make a minion if they are still alive. You may not make a minion of a higher level than yourself. Certain customizations for a minion cannot be chosen: Swim, fly, energy touch, smite, concussion, dimensional slide, energy bolt. Additionally swim and fly replace improved swim and improved fly.

Storage Crystal: You learn to create storage crystals, masses of crystal that can be used for feeding very quickly. You may pay any amount of hp when making a storage crystal, and gain this hp back as the craft item ability. And remove or add up to your level in hp as a standard action to the storage crystal. You may also remove 2 hp from a crystal to gain 1 energy at a rate equal to 1/2 your level(rounded down) per standard action. The crystal has a weight equal to the hp inside. The size changes to match its weight, diminutive if 20 or less, tiny if 50 or less, small if 100 or less, medium if 200 or less. You may only have 1 storage crystal at a time.

Crystal Casting: There are some psionic spells that you can mimic with your crystal minipulation. They use as much energy as is listed and can only target you, a crystalline you touch, a crystal minion you touch, or an object made of crystal you touch. Enemies get saves as usual. Augmentation costs are payed with energy equal to the listed amount of power points that would be used. These abilities are not magical divine or psionic in nature. Hp lost casting an ability can be regained like craft item. Any ability that mentions power points should instead refer to energy. Your caster level is equal to your crystal lord level.
Crystal Shard: 1 energy, can target anyone, costs 1hp per energy used
Chameleon: 2 energy
Burst: 2 energy
Mindlink: 2 energy
Empty Mind: 2 energy
My light: 2 energy
Synthesis: 2 energy
Vigor: 2 energy
Swarm of crystals: 2 energy, can target anyone, costs 1hp per energy used
Call to mind: 2 energy
Metaphysical Claw: 2 energy, can be used on any natural attack you have
Metaphysical Weapon: 2 energy
Biofeedback: 2 energy
Hustle: 3 energy
Read Thoughts: 3 energy
Body purification: 3 energy
Psionic Lion's Charge: 3 energy
Reconstruction: 4 energy, costs 1hp per energy used
Hail of crystals: 5 energy, can target anyone, costs 1 hp per energy used
Mind control: 5 energy
Sharpened Edge: 5 energy
Inertial barrier: 5 energy
Restore extremity: 6 energy
Fission: 8 energy
Fusion: 9 energy
Psionic revivify: 10 energy, can be augmented by paying 5 energy to change the duration per negative level to 1hour, can be augmented by paying 10 energy to change the duration per negative level to 1 day

Specializations: As a Crystal Lord learns the power of their school they learn ways to use it that are specific to themselves. Each specialization can only be chosen once and they have no level restrictions.

Resilience Training: Your bonus to your will, reflex, and fortitude save from ability modifier bonus increases by 50% rounded down.

Item Swap: Requires item crafting
You may spend 2 energy on a crystal item to give it the ability to change its shape. It can become a simple item with weight equal to its own or lower as a full round action. By spending 4 energy it instead changes shape as a swift action.

Customization Spells: Requires crystal casting and body crafting
Certain spells can have their duration increased to instant by increasing there energy cost. They are then considered customizations for all mechanical purposes.
Chameleon +2
Mindlink +1
Empty Mind +1
My Light +1
Synthesis +2
Metaphysical Claw +2
Metaphysical Weapon +2
Biofeedback +2
Psionic Lion's Charge +7
Inertial Barrier: +5
Mind Control: +2
Fission: +5
Fusion: +9

Natural Weapon Training: Requires body crafting.
You gain access to new customizations that benefit natural attacks.
3 Energy: Wolfs Bite: gain a free trip attempt with a successful primary natural attack your target does not gain a free attack of opportunity from this trip attempt. When applied to only bite attacks this customization costs 2 energy.

3 Energy: Ripping Claws: When you successfully land 2 natural attacks on a single target in a turn you deal an extra 1d10 damage plus strength. When applied to only claws this customization only costs 2 energy.

3 Energy: Charging Gore: When you deal damage with a natural weapon at the end of a charge you deal an additional 1d10 damage. When applied to only gore attacks this customization costs 2 energy.

3 Energy: Multiple strikes: Secondary natural weapons take only a -3 to hit.

3 Energy: Brutal Crush: When dealing damage with a primary natural weapon add 2x strength to the damage. When applied to only slam attacks this customization costs 2 energy.

3 Energy: Poison String: When dealing damage with a primary natural weapon that deals piercing or slashing damage your attacks cause 2 points of ability damage to either Strength or Dexterity (chosen at time of manifesting). A successful Fortitude save (DC 10 + 1/2 class level + Wisdom) negates this damage. When applied to only sting attacks this customization costs 2 energy.

Weapon Modification: Requires item crafting
By paying 1 energy as a standart action you may add trip, disarm, sunder, deadly, piercing damage, blunt damage, or slashing damage to a weapon. You may only have 1 use of this ability on a single weapon. You can not regain the energy used until you undo the modification as a standart action.

Internal Storage: Requires storage crystal and body crafting
You gain access to a new customization:
3points: Internal Storage Crystal: you may have a storage crystal Inside your body. You may feed from it as a swift action and its weight is added to your carry weight.

Minion Grafting: Requires minion crafting and body crafting
you may take a full round action to apply a customization to a minion. A minion can not have more energy used on customizations than the energy used to cast it.

Casting Minions: Requires Crystal casting and minion crafting
Your minions can cast spells that you could cast. Their energy is equal to the amount used to create the minion, when they are out of energy they can no longer cast. Hp costs are payed using the minions hp.

Intelligent Minions: Requires minion crafting
You may pay 4 energy to make a minion intelligent. The minion gains an intelligence equal to 10 and can do any action a normal man could do. The minion is still completely loyal to you.

Extended Minions: Requires minion crafting
By paying 4 more energy the duration is 1day/level. You do not have to pay extra hp for this augmentation.

Storage Minions: Requires storage crystal and minion crafting
You may remove hp from a minion as if it was a storage crystal but not energy. If you have the casting minions ability you may move energy to or from a minion. If you have the minion grafting ability you can heal the minion by placing hp inside it as if it was a storage crystal.

Minion Feeding: Requires minion crafting
minions gain the ability to feed as you do to heal themselves. Their limit per day is equal to your own. If you have the caster minion ability they may gain energy at the rate you do for use of their spells.

Efficient Minions: Requires minion crafting
The hp cost for minions is lowered to 3 for each point of energy used.

Quick Minions: Requires minion crafting
The casting time for a minion becomes 1 full round action if you used less than your level in power on the minion, this includes augmentation costs. The casting time becomes a swift action if you used less than half your level in power, this includes augmentation costs.

Multiple Crystals: Requires storage crystal
You may have a number of storage crystals at 1 time equal to your wisdom modifier. At level 20 there is no limit to how many storage crystals you can have.

Crystal Rebirth: Requires storage crystal
You may move your mind to a storage crystal in your current plane of existence, this process takes 1 uninterrupted minute of concentration and turns your current body into a storage crystal with an amount of HP equal to what you had, you lose all energy and customization when doing this. At level 20 if you die you instead move to another storage crystal in your plane of existence.

Quick Crafting: Requires item crafting
By spending 2 energy you may make an item as a full round action. At level 10 you may pay 2 energy to do it as a swift action. At level 20 you may pay 2 energy to make up to your wisdom modifier in items as a swift action.

Familiarity: Requires item crafting
Any weapon you make that you are not proficient in only takes a -1 to hit. Any armor you make that you are not proficient in gives 3 less penalty to attacking. At level 11 you are considered proficient with any weapon or armor you make.

Enchanted Crafting: Requires item crafting
When making an item you may spend 1 energy to make the crafted item masterwork, 3 to make it +1, 4 to make it +2, 5 to make it +3, 6 to make it +4, and 7 to make it +5. This energy can not be replaced as long as the item is enchanted. You may spend a full round action to remove all energy you placed in the item to make it normal. This enchantment does not make a weapon magical.

Storage item: Requires storage crystal and item crafting
You may craft a storage crystal into an item of the same size category as the storage crystal. It functions in all ways as the storage crystal and the item it is crafted into.

Permanent Augmentation: Requires body crafting
You may choose a single customization worth 2 energy or less, that customization becomes permanent and you do not have to spend any energy on it. All other restrictions still apply.

Combat Training:
you gain proficiency in medium and heavy armor, martial weapons, and shields excluding tower shields.

Efficient Augmentation: Requires crystal casting
You learn to better control the energy used to power up your spells. When paying the augment cost it is now half the listed amount of power points, rounded up.

Low power Crystals: Requires crystal casting
When casting a spell that requires you to pay hp you lower the energy cost by 1. Treat the hp cost as the same as it would be without this benefit.

Energy casting spells: Requires crystal casting
By discharging the energy in your body you can fire off electricity to attack. You may add these spells to your list of spells known.
Energy bolt: 3 energy, can target anyone, always electricity
Energy Missile: 4 energy, can target anyone, always electricity
Energy Cone: 5 energy, can target anyone, always electricity
Weapon of energy: 5 energy, always electricity
Claw of energy: 5 energy, always electricity and on any natural attack you have
Energy Burst: 5 energy, can target anyone, always electricity
Energy Ball: 6 energy, can target anyone, always electricity
Energy Current: 7 energy, can target anyone, always electricity
Energy Wave: 9 energy, can target anyone, always electricity
WIP Crystalline Armament: Requires item crafting
You learn how to make weapons and armor specificity made for crystalline.
Shard Launcher: Weighs 3(+hp stored) pounds. You must pay 1 energy to create this object, this energy can not be replaced unless you destroy the shard launcher.
This weapon is placed over an arm and is made to enhance the spells crystal shard, swarm of crystals, and hale of crystals. You may pay life up to a maximum of twice your level into the shard launcher, then use that hp to pay the hp cost for the 3 spells. This hp loss can be replaced for free. Additionally you gain the crystal shard spell but can only use hp stored in the shard launcher.

Grapple Whip: a whip made of crystal segments. It works in all ways like a lethal whip, however it can be used to grab onto objects. Making a grapple check on enemies hit to give them the entangled condition, you do not need to keep hold of the whip to continue the grapple. Or holding on to a small branch or something for climbing. Must have 1 energy in it to work, energy can be removed from it to make it a regular wip.

Advanced Crystalline: Your race is changed to Advanced Crystalline.

Crystallize: A Crystal Lord may choose to spend an amount of energy to turn any object to crystal. Or to turn a humanoid, monstrous humanoid, or beast into a crystalline. This ability required 1 energy for each 10 hp an object/creature has. Living creature are given a will or fortitude save(their choice) (DC 10 + 1/2 class level + Wisdom) to resist the effect, energy used is still wasted if the ability fails, they gain another save every round. The time required is a full round action for each 10 hp the object has and you must stay in physical contact for the entire duration or the ability fails. This ability only works on objects with 5 or less hardness or damage resistance. The duration required can be lowered to 1 move action per 10hp by paying 2 more energy. For 2 more energy the limitation on damage resistance and hardness becomes 10.

The change to crystalline makes the target eligible for spells that only effect crystalline.

You may choose to change a living target into non-living crystal, effectively killing them.

So what do you think?

DracoDei
2011-06-24, 08:44 PM
Your grammar could be better... I am guessing English isn't your native tongue (a common obstacle around here...)?

In any case, wikipedia-like cross-referencing: Bornura (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4549797&postcount=9).

Rentaromon
2011-06-24, 09:22 PM
I fixed some of the spelling, my dam computers spellcheck constantly turns off and on. And i cant spell to save my life.

Rentaromon
2011-06-25, 10:34 PM
not one responce to the idea, just one about my horrid spelling

DracoDei
2011-06-25, 10:42 PM
not one responce to the idea, just one about my horrid spelling
Actually, I think your SPELLING is now pretty good.
And the general trend around here is that until the formatting is up to snuff, that is all people will help with, since it is annoying to try to read through poorly formatted stuff.
Still I might take a look at the content soonish if I can find the energy.

Rentaromon
2011-06-27, 08:56 AM
i will keep bumping until i get an actuall responce!

Lord Loss
2011-06-27, 09:09 AM
I like this. It reminds me of Raptorans and Goliaths (Races of Wild and Races of Stone) for some reason.

This seems relatively balanced. However, I suggest you turn this:


Advanced Crystalline: When a crystalline takes 10 levels in the crystal lord class his race is changed to the advanced crystalline template.
+2wisdom +2constitution if male +2wisdom +2dextarity if female
Medium: Crystalline have no bonuses or penalties due to size.
Normal speed: Crystalline have a base speed of 30 ft.
Advanced Crystal Body: Crystalline have the earth subtype, 5 resistance acid, DR/5 vs nonlethal, and +1 natural armor.
Spell like abilities: Mindlink/at will Read Thoughts/2perday Mind Control/1perday these powers can only be used on crystalline or advanced crystalline.
Crystallization Feeding: a crystalline does not need to eat or drink, instead they must eat 10 pounds (5 pounds for females) of soft material like food, soil, plants, or cloth per day or suffer starvation, and this has no effect on his body weight. Each pound of food eaten heals 1hp, to a maximum of 2/level per day. A crystalline maximum weight increases by his hp total and decreases when he takes damage.
Advanced Feminine/Masculine: A female crystalline gains acrobatic as a bonus feat and +2 reflex, a male gains toughness as a bonus feat and +2 fortitude.
Sink like a rock: a crystalline is not buoyant in water and sinks as if made of solid rock, he has -8 to swim skill.
Languages: Crystalline speak common.


into class features for the Crystal Lord class, which I'm eager to see. The fluff is very interesting, I'll probably integrate these into my next D&D campaign.

EDIT: Improving your spelling and grammar is probably a good idea, people around here tend not to finish reading things with bad grammar.

Dvandemon
2011-06-27, 09:16 AM
Are you planning on formatting it? It's hard to digest, or at least navigate to the juicy bits. Maybe bolding and underlining?

Rentaromon
2011-06-27, 10:07 AM
yes i know i cant spell, and i suck at grammar. Ill try to fix it up if i have time.

As for the crystal lord class here is a little info, i cant post the hole class becouse im only about 1/4 done with it.

The class can be made into almost everything from a caster to a summoner to a fighter and a rogue, but once you start down a path you wont be able to start down another untill you gain more levels. At low levels it is slightly behind the real classes in power. At mid range it can match the class it is building like. At max level the class is over powered, you are a jack of all traits, but its ment to be like that.

The class has 2 main distinguishing abilitys:

Training: every level you add 2 skills to your class skill list, and gain a small bonus that has to do with thows classes. like one traing you can take is stealth: steath and knowledge(dungineering) become class skills, and you gain a bonus to damage when you attack a flat footed enemy. 1 damage at level 1, 2 at level 5, up to 5 bonus damage at lvl 20.

Transformations: this is were the power of the class comes from, you gain the ability to manipulate the crystal of your body and change its shape to fit your needs. from razor blade arms to multijointed fingers to help when picking a lock you can do many things with your body. At higher levels you can even split it off from your body to make small minions or make a crystal pillar that you can use to store health in, or ressurect yourself should you die.

the class also has 2 big weaknesses:

mobility: you can move fast on ground but your weight grows fast if you want to have multiple powers active, that can make many forms of flight impossible, and swimming is just as hard, even weak wooden structures can be your downfall(literally). Your only choice at higher levels is to choose to weaken yourself so that you become lighter.

Magic: your body has no natural magic, a crystalline can not take levels in a magic class. there is a deep backstory in the race explaining why but i dont want to go into it now, essentially the first crystal lord was banned from useing the power of the gods so all his offspring are similarly banned.

Rentaromon
2011-06-28, 10:05 AM
any other posts? i would love some criticism.

Dvandemon
2011-06-29, 01:31 AM
Try writing up a Crystalline as a certain class, just so we get an idea of one in action.

Rentaromon
2011-06-29, 11:28 AM
Try writing up a Crystalline as a certain class, just so we get an idea of one in action.

im not quite shure what you mean by "in action", unless you mean the crystal lord class.

im working on the matching class right now but i have been haveing a hard time makeing it. its a lot easyer to make a race than a class.

Lord Loss
2011-06-29, 12:14 PM
He means to write it up in the following format

Level BAB SAVES Class Features

X +X X/X/X Write class features here

Except in a table.

Also, sure is written without the "h" and I suggest you punctuate a bit more (eg. "I'm" instead of "im").

I would personally try not to make a class do everything, it generally doesn't work and the Factotum (3.5, mind you) already does it better, but I'll wait until I see the finsihed product before commenting. I'm not all that familliar with Pathfinder but I've played 3.5 for years.

If you provide a list of class features, skills BaB progression, etc. I'll do my best to help you out. I don't suppose there's a Pathfinder SRD out there?

Pokonic
2011-06-29, 12:38 PM
Huh, the race looks nice, but I think we could give better commentary if the Crystal lord class was up.
The fluff is nice, it could have come right from Races of stone.

Rentaromon
2011-06-29, 01:25 PM
He means to write it up in the following format

Level BAB SAVES Class Features

X +X X/X/X Write class features here

Except in a table.

Also, sure is written without the "h" and I suggest you punctuate a bit more (eg. "I'm" instead of "im").

I would personally try not to make a class do everything, it generally doesn't work and the Factotum (3.5, mind you) already does it better, but I'll wait until I see the finsihed product before commenting. I'm not all that familliar with Pathfinder but I've played 3.5 for years.

If you provide a list of class features, skills BaB progression, etc. I'll do my best to help you out. I don't suppose there's a Pathfinder SRD out there?

well this class is not exactly like other classes, it is ment to be over powered jack of all traits at high levels. But below 15 it is a rather normal progression and not op.

BAB would probobly be 3/4, will save would be good other two change depending on your gender, femail getting good reflex and male getting good fortitude.

the class has 2 main abilitys, one is training the other is transformations. i already covered trainings so ill give some info on the transformations.

Essentially instead of magical powers or masterfull weapon training the crystal lord manipulates his body to fit whatever he needs at the time. At level one he gains a school of transformations: grace mind form and minion. And at higher levels he gains access to the other 3 schools.

The grace school is movement, dextarity skills, stealth, and other things that reguire physical skill over brute force.

The form is becoming a weapon, hardening your body to become a tank, makeing blades for arms, spikes on your body.

Mind is increasing your mental powers, faster thinking to increase your reflex speed, higher mental processing to control more body parts than ushual, even quickening your mind to the point the world stands still to give plenty of time to think.

Minion is makeing things seprate from your body, like a literal minion made of crystal, a small eye sensor, even grafting an arm onto an ally.

and certain powers require multiple teachings. like makeing your hand into a perfect lockpicking tool requires form and grace, makeing a new body for yourself requires form and mind, running at super fast speeds requires grace and mind.


Thats what i got so far, i still got a lot of work to go.

Pokonic
2011-06-29, 01:43 PM
Wait, so the Crystal lord is a full class, not a presige class?:smallconfused:
Is it useable by other races, or are the class features relient on the crystalline racial feactures?

Rentaromon
2011-06-29, 02:41 PM
Wait, so the Crystal lord is a full class, not a presige class?:smallconfused:
Is it useable by other races, or are the class features relient on the crystalline racial feactures?

to become a crystal lord you need to be a crystalline yes. However its possible for a person to become a crystal lord if you started as another race, you just need the permission of a high level crystal lord who will turn you into a crystalline. Effectivly changeing your race, and what bonuses you get for your race.

Dvandemon
2011-06-29, 05:09 PM
Sounds like a Race Class, it brings a lot of Psionics to mind.

Rentaromon
2011-07-01, 08:01 AM
anything else? i have only got a few posts so far, come on i want some critiques!

Rentaromon
2011-07-02, 06:53 PM
still working on the matching class. it has a hole list of "spells" so it is takeing a while.

any comments before i let this r.i.p. untill i finnish?

Rentaromon
2012-08-25, 12:49 PM
Due to renewed interest, for some reason, i have added the Crystal Lord class!

Some aspects are not finished, i still need to do work on the specializations. And the endless tweaks to wording, numbers, spells, and everything else!

Rentaromon
2012-09-05, 04:56 PM
Bump to see if anyone has some input on the class for me.

Rentaromon
2012-11-01, 02:34 PM
Another bump from the grave, anyone with a strong grasp of grammar and spelling willing to help me clean this up a bit?