Fun with Goblins [pathfinder]

[Rentaromon]

Ok my group of lvl 2 adventurers are about to go on an adventure. The basic story is a bunch of goblins have moved down from the mountains to the nearby city, they are causing messes, breaking things, and being overall pests.

Im changeing goblins a bit, instead of chaotic evil stupid wacky little creatures they are chaotic neutral stupid wacky little creatures, and the ones in the city have a very ligitimate reason for being there.

So i need things for my goblins to do, what kind of places they would live in, just general funny goblin info. Anything to flesh out the story and whatnot.

Feel free to ask questions about the setting and characters if you want more info.

And i appologize for my horrible grammar and spelling, thanks in advance.

[Retech]

Incorporate the dark one?

[BlueInc]

Pathfinder actually has pretty fun lore for goblins. One of my favorite things they suggest is that goblins are the ultimate scavengers, able to make weapons and semi-useful objects out of just about anything. This, combined with their loose definition of food, means that a garbage dump is like a buffet/workshop/treasure horde to them.

Another fun PF goblin tidbit: Goblins believe writing words down steals them and takes them out of your head. Writing down a goblin's name is the greatest insult you can do to it. Perhaps you could have the goblins try to destroy a library or wizard's spellbook?

[kharmakazy]

Pretty much anything from a gremlins movie.

Have some of them pile up into a suit of full-plate.

Have them attempting to pretend to be the villagers they drove out/maybe ate. Like they saw how nice it was and decided they wanted to try it.

[OracleofSilence]

This was a suggestion from Burnt Offerings.

Whenever goblins are in an encounter, flip a coin. of heads they interact with the party. If tails, they interact with the environment, and basically ignore the parties existence (destroys books, steals food, jumps madly on tables etc.) That sorta fun stuff.

Also, goblins obsessively collect things, so maybe kleptomaniac, maybe they just buy or find random crap and use that for weird things. Like the famed gumball shooting tank of Joker Bard. If you are going N or CN, rather then NE or CE, make them incompetent henchmen or humorous drunks or stuff like that.

[Rentaromon]

some fun idea! im totaly gona make the goblin mountains just covered in junk they have taken from all over, and the best goblins have loot piles of their own that they protect with their life, when they remeber.

i need a way for the goblins to choose rank, some way that fits their crazy style. i was thinking loot piles, or maybe height. Any ideas?

[Occasional Sage]

Heaviest item scavenged in the previous week. Must be a solo accomplishment.

The weekly weighing ceremony is a holy festival, complete with crowning and feasting. Pacts and contracts end at the beginning of the festival, which makes relations with the city they've inhabited... fluid.

[BlueInc]

Length of ears (fingers, toes, arms, legs, etc.), sharpness of teeth, skill at eating, smell.

Maybe color of eyes or skin...or mix a few together. The more they eat, the darker their eyes get. Goblins with practically black eyes are obese and the leaders, goblins with practically white eyes are starving.

[kharmakazy]

Most teeth. That way you can gain rank if you are ambitious enough...:smallbiggrin:

[BlueInc]

Most teeth. That way you can gain rank if you are ambitious enough...:smallbiggrin:

I like it. Of course, trophies are always fun. "Most teeth on a necklace"

[kharmakazy]

I would say that they started out by counting teeth in mouth (I mean.. look at the PF pictures... jesus.) And then some pioneering goblin knocked the teeth from their leader to take over, then the ex-leader took back HIS teeth as well as the teeth of the goblin that took his... and so on.

[Yorae]

Most teeth. That way you can gain rank if you are ambitious enough...:smallbiggrin:

Isn't that how Warhammer Orks work? =p

[Rentaromon]

Teeth is an interesting idea, but i think ill go with best loot pile, it matches my setting better.

Next question: WEAPONRY!!!

What kind of weaponry and magical items would goblins use? And not like sword and shield, crazy wacky things only a goblin would use.

My ideas:
a rat launcher, a big slingshot that fires bloated rats stuffed with acid at people, like a horrible water ballon.

And the goblin fire wand. it shoots fireballs, but there is no indication of what end the fire comes out of, so its a 50% chance when you activate it that you shoot backwards.

[kharmakazy]

They have a shaman that has been enchanting houshold items that the goblins wear as makeshift armor and weapons. +1 colander or Masterwork Soup pot, or fishbowl helmets, Masterwork cooking trays as breastplates.

Goblinpault. Fires goblins at foes.
Beehive on a rope.
Human Bane Spatula.

[Omeganaut]

Scariest warrior ever: Frying Pan of Doom! Seriously, equip a goblin with one of those, have it surprise a PC and knock it out, and you have a legend.

[NecroRick]

Check out the Labyrinth movie. It's an oldie but a goodie. The goblins in that tend slightly more towards the european/nasty fey types (baby stealing!) but they have pretty much the variety of behaviours described above (muppets!).

Also, Jareth the Goblin King, how much fun did David Bowie have in that role? All of it I suspect. :D

It is also an interesting 'case study' in having an eldritch/arcane caster as ruler instead of the typical D&D 'whoever hast thumped thy moste draggonnes'.

[Rentaromon]

Check out the Labyrinth movie. It's an oldie but a goodie. The goblins in that tend slightly more towards the european/nasty fey types (baby stealing!) but they have pretty much the variety of behaviours described above (muppets!).

Also, Jareth the Goblin King, how much fun did David Bowie have in that role? All of it I suspect. :D

It is also an interesting 'case study' in having an eldritch/arcane caster as ruler instead of the typical D&D 'whoever hast thumped thy moste draggonnes'.

wierd that you would mention a movie i saw for the first time not a week ago. i was totaly gona have pale goblins who walk around with huge piles of stuff on their back like from that movie!

[Rentaromon]

anything else people want to add? i got some good ideas now but more is never a bad thing.

[Paul H]

Hi

I'm afraid you've all missed the obvious. Check Paizo's website & download "We be Goblins"

An excellent (free) adventure, even can be used for PFS. Loads of fun over fireworks.

Check the PFS download Chronicles, and find what the fireworks do, etc.

Thanks
Paul H
PS Seriously, allow most of gaming time for laughter. :P

[subject42]

Next question: WEAPONRY!!!

What kind of weaponry and magical items would goblins use? And not like sword and shield, crazy wacky things only a goblin would use.

For this, you could look at giving every Goblin the feat "Catch Off Guard" as a racial bonus feat. Play it off as goblins being just that freaking malicious.

Soup bowl? Throw the hot soup in somebody's face, then shatter it and start stabbing people with the pottery shards.

Random rusted bits from the town dump? Tie them to a stick. BONUS TETANUS.

Just read some documentaries on Russian prisons. It should give you ideas.

[Set]

Save my ass!

Farmer Burkhart begs the adventurers he's allowed to crash in his house to investigate the strange noises and lights coming from the barn. "Old Nell is in there! Ya gotta do sumthin!"

Inside the barn, a troop of Goblins have cornered 'Old Nell,' a feisty donkey, in her stall, and are apparently attempting to play 'pin the tail on the donkey' with the beleagured animal.

Nell is bleeding from a half-dozen tiny stab marks to her hindquarters, and has apparently also done her share of damage, as one Goblin is very dead (critical hit, failed stabilization roll), another is unconscious (stabilized), a third is disabled (at 0 hit points) but still cheering his compatriots on, and another is staggering around wounded and trying to get away from the 'little horse' (1 hit point remaining). At least three have successfully 'pinned' the donkey, and are now arguing over which of them is now the leader (as they had apparently decided that the most successful 'tail-pinner' would be the new leader). A 1st level Goblin Adept, the 'genius' who first decided on this method of determining the new leader, is encouraging them to settle it with a singing contest when the party breaks in (as he's realized that he doesn't know enough curing magic to even get the currently injured members of his raiding party up, let alone anyone else who gets hurt!).

Unfortunately, when the party opens the corral gate to get in, Nell bolts for the opening, Bull Rushing the PC in the lead, followed by a horde of screaming Goblins! Roll Initiative (Nell goes first)!

[Rentaromon]

Darn i forgot something very important for my story, female goblins. How do they work!?!?

any amusing ideas?

[Grommen]

"We be Goblins...You be food!"

Think that sums is all up.

BTW that is a funny adventure. Add in a two drink minimum and you have one hell of an evening.

(The above poster does not condone or take responsibility for any illegal or excessive drinking and use of pharmaceutical life enhancers. Always indulge in moderation, and remember. Their not cute....Your ***ed up.)

[Darcand]

I like the goblin flavor we've come up with, so I'm going to run with some story ideas.

I feel one important point was missed, these goblins aren't villians. You said they have a perfectly valid reason to be in the city, throw some Pratchet into the mix. I am thinking that a CG noble feels guilty about his father's mining operation forcing the gobs out of their caves and so packed up the entire tribe and moved them into his city estate until a suitable new home can be found; a task easier said then done.

As it turns out they're a bit more of a handfull then he expected and so hires on the PCs to keep them out of trouble until they can be relocated. Now the adventure turns into a series of encounters such as keeping them from smashing the neighbor's good china, saving them from gaurd dogs (Pathfinder goblins are terrified of dogs, in that encounter the PCs have to function with goblins climbing them trying to keep as far away as possible.), and Under No Circumstances Let Them Find The Wine!

I would even set an Acceptable Losses limit (i.e. let no more then 12 goblins die) I imagine the noble will cover any damages caused, but he should probably restrict civilian deaths too, exempting of course any really bad guys you throw in the mix. Maybe the gobs get talked into forming a street gang by an evil bard, or a mad alchemist decides they're fair game for experimentation. Or possibly since the PCs will Under No Circumstances Let Them Find The Wine! they find their way into a dwarven tavern instead.

[Grongore]

two words for the female goblins role: goblin brothel
itll be so hilariously horrible the pcs might need to make a will save to repress

[Paul H]

Hi

Still think paizo's own scenario 'We be Goblins' is hilarious.

Apparently I running it for a few friends online at some ridiculous hour this weekend! :P

Thanks
Paul H