Familial problems i need to vent about

[grimbold]

So hi playgrounders,
School is out for me Yay!
Of course tomorrow i have to go to my french grandparents house for a week. With my sister. Some of you may already know that my sister is insane and is basically Miko. I don't mind my grandparents, so much as the fact that they have nothing to do there except for play Uno and visit mountains that i have scene 10-20ish times before. Now this on its own is meh, but not horriffic, the real horror comes from this.
My sister barely speaks french and despises all of the french speaking family members we are going to visit. Every time we go she has a collossal breakdown and calls my mom like 20 times in a day while my mother is trying to relax. :smallfurious:

I personally have had enough of my sister never bothering to learn french and pissing off my french relatives. I also have had enough of her breakdowns and bitchiness towards my grandma and grandpa (my french grandpa is hilarious by the way).

Of course none of this will affect my american families image of my sister which does not portray her as a rage fueled maniac who has a fascist dedication to rules, they will continue to see her as the perfect child. And me as the nerdy one. (its not totally like that)

Is there anything i can do?
Please somebody help a poor sad orc :smallfrown:

[Whiffet]

Something you can do about your sister's behavior, or something you can do about how your family views the two of you?

[grimbold]

help with either would be brilliant
things have just started to come to a head lately and i need help otherwise i might go crazy

[CrimsonAngel]

Tie her up and put her in a closet until the visit is over. Or whenever people start to get curious.

[grimbold]

Tie her up and put her in a closet until the visit is over. Or whenever people start to get curious.

Crimson Angel
I love you

[Ranger Mattos]

Tie her up and put her in a closet until the visit is over. Or whenever people start to get curious.


Crimson Angel
I love you

I was about to suggest duct tape, but tying her up works too, I guess.

[Anxe]

Don't do things with her and bring a couple books?

[Whiffet]

Heh heh, you guys are awesome.

But in all seriousness, there isn't much you can do about either. It's normal to not like the images family members hold of you, and it isn't really your job to rein in your sister. The most anyone can do about a sibling is talk to the parents about it and hope they do something. Not in a whiny or tattling tone, mind you.

Also, I suspect your family members don't see your sister as perfection personified. It's just easier to ignore a person's flaws if you don't live with her.

[grimbold]

the thing is i have already tried those things but they are starting not to wrok for a couple reasons
1. my Grandma is convinced she's going to die every 5 minutes so she is obsessed with being with us.
2. She has threatened to disinherit my sister...seriously
3. I end up feeling really bad about this whole situation

I feel as if something needs to be done but I don't know what

[DazedN'Confused]

1) try talking with your sister one on one. Be calm. Try to not be accusatory. Explain how you view her actions, how it makes you feel, how it makes your grandparents feel etc. Also, be sure to ask her how she views your actions and no matter what she says at this point NO NOT TAKE OFFENSE AT WHAT SHE SAYS. This will do 2 things, one it will allow you to get an outside perspective of your actions, two it will give her an opportunity to vent because she will probably feel put on the spot/very defensive. If it is possible do this either in a neutral location or someplace that she will feel comfortable. Despite your attempt to change her actions for your benefit, this talk is not about you. Be positive.
2) take some things along that you can enjoy doing with your grandparents, be they different games or a sightseeing book. Maybe ask your grandparents to take yall someplace that was important to them when they were younger such as where they met/grew up. Ask them to tell you stories about it. This does twofold things. One it lets you know more about them and two it will allow them to feel more involved with you. They will absolutly love it and you may find out that you like it too.:smallsmile:
3) Find a new interest together. Maybe try rock collecting, photography (would go great with the sightseeing I mentioned earlier), birdwatching, winetasting (this would be my personal vote:smallamused:), etc. Keeps it from being the same old same old.
4) Don't let your sister's unhappiness ruin your good time. Being happy is a personal choice. A good book to help you with this is Happiness is a Serious Problem by Dennis Prager. It may also help your sister. It is a good (read: short) book with some phenominal advice. If your sister insists on being a pain, ignore her. Ask your mom to only accept her phone calls between 7 and 8 pm. Don't facilitate her in making everyone else miserable.

Ultimatly you have no control over anyone else. the only thing that you can control is your reactions. Be happy. Live the Dream. I hope that your summer ends up being a great one.

[MoonCat]

<hugs> As someone with the knowledge of what it's like to have a crazy sibling, I really empathize with you, but I'm not entirely sure what it is that you want. Do you want to protect your mom and grandparents? Or are you just needing a place to talk about your sister? I didn't quite get a picture of what you want from the OP.

[grimbold]

1) try talking with your sister one on one. Be calm. Try to not be accusatory. Explain how you view her actions, how it makes you feel, how it makes your grandparents feel etc. Also, be sure to ask her how she views your actions and no matter what she says at this point NO NOT TAKE OFFENSE AT WHAT SHE SAYS. This will do 2 things, one it will allow you to get an outside perspective of your actions, two it will give her an opportunity to vent because she will probably feel put on the spot/very defensive. If it is possible do this either in a neutral location or someplace that she will feel comfortable. Despite your attempt to change her actions for your benefit, this talk is not about you. Be positive.
2) take some things along that you can enjoy doing with your grandparents, be they different games or a sightseeing book. Maybe ask your grandparents to take yall someplace that was important to them when they were younger such as where they met/grew up. Ask them to tell you stories about it. This does twofold things. One it lets you know more about them and two it will allow them to feel more involved with you. They will absolutly love it and you may find out that you like it too.:smallsmile:
3) Find a new interest together. Maybe try rock collecting, photography (would go great with the sightseeing I mentioned earlier), birdwatching, winetasting (this would be my personal vote:smallamused:), etc. Keeps it from being the same old same old.
4) Don't let your sister's unhappiness ruin your good time. Being happy is a personal choice. A good book to help you with this is Happiness is a Serious Problem by Dennis Prager. It may also help your sister. It is a good (read: short) book with some phenominal advice. If your sister insists on being a pain, ignore her. Ask your mom to only accept her phone calls between 7 and 8 pm. Don't facilitate her in making everyone else miserable.

Ultimatly you have no control over anyone else. the only thing that you can control is your reactions. Be happy. Live the Dream. I hope that your summer ends up being a great one.

thank you so much for your advice Dazed
I talked to my sister in the plane and she agreed t oactually try and speak french, so things are going alright on that front. With my grandparents we are visiting historic sites from their region of france. It is a tad mind numbing but my sister has not really gone crazy over it yet. She is just being her normal slightly mad and angry self. As for your final suggestion i totally agree, and i think my mom might own that book :smallbiggrin:.

Thanks a lot bud.
also
Is your name a Led Zeppelin reference?

yay i got a mooncat hug
permission to sig?

[Asta Kask]

What region of France would that be?

[grimbold]

What region of France would that be?
well i live in paris

but i am visiting my france in a REALLY rustic suburb of toulouse

[DazedN'Confused]

thank you so much for your advice Dazed
I talked to my sister in the plane and she agreed t oactually try and speak french, so things are going alright on that front. With my grandparents we are visiting historic sites from their region of france. It is a tad mind numbing but my sister has not really gone crazy over it yet. She is just being her normal slightly mad and angry self. As for your final suggestion i totally agree, and i think my mom might own that book :smallbiggrin:.

Thanks a lot bud.

Awesome! :biggrin: I am really glad to hear that things are going at least a little bit better. Sometimes that is all you can get. I hope it keeps getting better.



Is your name a Led Zeppelin reference?


Nope. I just feel dazed and confused sometimes.:smalltongue: Anyway if you need to vent more feel free. We are always willing to listen and offer (vaguely) helpful advice. Enjoy your vacation!!

[Keld Denar]

OMG, someone recommended a Dennis Prager book. That man is genious. I don't agree with ALL of his beliefs (which can't really be discussed here due to forum rules and whatnot), but this man's phillosophy on happiness, friendship, and relationships is freakin amazing. Seriously. I used to listen to his radio program, and the happiness hour every Friday was the highlight. It sounds corny, but its seriously awesome and something I try to live my life by every day. If you want to be happy, just be happy!

[grimbold]

things have...
taken a slightly bad turn
my sister is starting to get really agressive and mean

nothing drastic has happened yet as i managed to convince her to stop hiding in her room and using her laptop but
i don't know
tomorrow could end badly :smalleek:

[Asta Kask]

well i live in paris

but i am visiting my france in a REALLY rustic suburb of toulouse

Could be some really interesting Roman ruins there. And of course, the history of Aurum Tolosanum (http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Or_de_Toulouse) still lives...

[CrimsonAngel]

Crimson Angel
I love you

Mind if I add that to my siggy? :smallwink:

[grimbold]

Mind if I add that to my siggy? :smallwink:

go crazy buddy

@Asta Kask
I was actually talking about the Or de Toulouse with my grandfather today :smallwink:
How do you know so much about france and the french language Asta?

[Asta Kask]

I studied French for three years, but I've forgotten most about it. And I love history, particularly Classical Greece/Rome. And I have a good memory that files away trivialities and stores them for later use.

But my greatest asset is that I'm used to doing research - finding sources, seeing if they are trustworthy, cutting out the important snippets. Couple that with the Internet and it's easy to 'look' proficient in everything. A real expert could tear me to shreds in a heartbeat.

Thanks for the compliment, though. :smallredface:

[grimbold]

I studied French for three years, but I've forgotten most about it. And I love history, particularly Classical Greece/Rome. And I have a good memory that files away trivialities and stores them for later use.

But my greatest asset is that I'm used to doing research - finding sources, seeing if they are trustworthy, cutting out the important snippets. Couple that with the Internet and it's easy to 'look' proficient in everything. A real expert could tear me to shreds in a heartbeat.

Thanks for the compliment, though. :smallredface:
Asta Kask
you are a very cool fellow :smallsmile:

[DazedN'Confused]

I hope that things are going better now. remember that every now and then she (your sister) will probably have slips, but you are looking for overall, long-term improvements. Remember to compliment her when she does well and ignore the inappropreate actions (positive re-enforcement:smallwink:).

Anyway, I was re-reading over the posts and I am curious about something. Are you and your sister not French? You say that you live in Paris, but also mention that your sister does not like/want to speek french. There is a disconnect here that I am not understanding. Answer or not as you wish, if it is too prying I totally understand. Have a great day.