Being talked with headphones on

[rayne_dragon]

Do people ever try to talk to you while you have headphones on and are, presumably, listening to music? How do you react to people insisting on your attention (with or without a good reason)?

[Remmirath]

They do sometimes, mostly when they don't notice that I do have headphones on (in the room in our house we have our computers in, we all basically sit facing away from each other).

My headphones aren't isolating and I don't usually listen to music very loudly, so I can still hear them and they know it. So, usually, I'll just pause the music and talk to them. It actually annoys me a lot more if people talk as though I'm not in the room when I'm wearing headphones.

Outside of the home, I don't really wear headphones much, and when I do it's probably because I'm early to some activity and passing the time waiting for something - so if somebody is trying to talk to me, it usually means the wait is over and I stop. Or, alternately, that it's time to make some vague attempt at being sociable with my classmates/fellow actors/what have you, and then I also stop.

Nobody has ever really insisted on my attention without a good reason when I was listening to music, so I don't know how I'd react for sure. I expect I'd tell them I was busy, and either ignore them or tell them I'd wait for the end of the song and then pay attention.

[Marc5567]

I DO Have noise cancelling headphones... and rather obnoxious room mates.

So, about half the time they have something to say to me, I don't hear them.

I then wonder why they're so mad later on...

[Lady Moreta]

It depends on where I am and whether or not I hear the person... sometimes I simply don't notice/hear that someone's trying to get my attention so I won't respond.

Other situations - I really only listen to music via earphones when I'm travelling on the bus, so I'm usually on my own. If I was with a friend, I wouldn't be using them at all, with my husband, I've usually offered him one of the pieces so we're both listening to the same thing and can hear each other just fine. Obviously I'd stop and pay attention to him. :smallsmile:

Since I only listen to music (via earphones) when I'm on my own/on the bus - if someone there tried to get my attention I'd likely pretend I can't hear them and ignore them. I hate random strangers striking up a conversation with me, so I will go out of my way to ignore people who do it. Having said that, if someone was say, getting my attention because I'd dropped something, I don't have the volume turned up very loud, so I'd still be able to hear them.

What really gets me cheesed off is when I'm at work and have the headset for my phone on. It's very clear that I only wear the headset when I'm on the phone (otherwise it's on the desk or on it's stand). And yet the number of times other staff have walked into the office and started talking to me, while I'm on the phone! And what gets me is that they don't get the hint... I'll gesture at the phone, but sometimes I'm actually talking to the person on the other end and the staff will still just start up a conversation with me. I've had to pause the phone call just so I can tell the idiot that I'm on the phone! If you can't tell, this really gets on my nerves :smallfurious:

[Cobalt]

All the bloody time. No taps on the shoulder, no hand-wave to get my attention when I'm not even facing them, no; they can hear the max-volume music I have shoved in my ears and they talk in a whisper so low the people without headphones around us can't even hear them, and then get mad at me when I "wasn't paying any attention."

Oh I'm sorry please excuse this grievous fault. *exasperated sigh*

Now, if I were putting in headphones in the middle of a conversation with someone, I can see this being a right to them being angry with me. But that has never happened anywhere before ever, and this only happens when I've been standing around for large periods of time not talking to others by myself with my music. Maybe it's just me, but that doesn't seem the time to jump in with hey I have small talk. Nope, not urgent, just wanted to interrupt your enjoyment of life with a comment- not a question- on something you don't even look like you care about, and isn't related to you in the slightest way.

What's worse is when they do tap me on the shoulder and then start talking as they do so, as if my music turns itself off upon someone making physical contact with me. And when I take both headphones out and ask "what was that?" halfway through their sentence? Oh ho ho, god, then they roll their eyes, oh lord. Thank you for letting me know to never associate with you ever again, because no, I don't read lips, I didn't hear you over the shouts of god in my eardrums, and yes, you have to repeat yourself.

"You expect me to repeat myself?"
"Yes, I do, you obnoxious ingrate, I was jamming and you're unimportant!"

It happens very often. And I react with justified hatred and rage.


It's serious business. And they need to cut it.

[Archonic Energy]

QC3 hadphones & PC = "Huh, your lips were waggling but i don't hear anything... it can't be important"
:smallamused:

if it were REALLY important they'd yank them off my ears.
or run around on fire
or something

[ZombyWoof]

Do people ever try to talk to you while you have headphones on and are, presumably, listening to music? How do you react to people insisting on your attention (with or without a good reason)?
It is ridiculously annoying. It's akin to someone shoving a newspaper in your hands while you're reading a book.

Generally I take my headphones off and make it very, very plain that they are interrupting me with a "huh?" and a blank stare.

[Castaras]

Occasionally. Unfortunately, I've gotten into the habit of ignoring what anyone says when I have earphones in, because it was the best way to deal with certain comments. Now, when people try and get my attention, I end up ignoring them out of habit. Most people know to poke me first though. :smallsmile:

[Bouregard]

Was a big problem a while ago for me. My parents usually just screamed that the meal is ready. No keep in mind we have pretty big appartment and three solid wooden doors between me and the kitchen that are closed. Additionaly I wear headphones that are designed to filter out any sounds not coming from my computer... and they seriously expect me to hear it? *sigh* Is it too much to ask for a quick tap on the back?

[Pheehelm]

Ugh. Yes. Although they're finally getting the hint. I usually just yell "Whoa!" and/or hold up a finger while pausing whatever I'm playing, then take off my headphones and ask "okay, what?"

[Lolzords]

It doesn't bother me that they're trying to talk to me, it bothers me when they get all pissy because I didn't hear what they said.

[Mauve Shirt]

My roomie used to do that. It was somewhat annoying, but my roomie was/is awesome, so she's forgiven.

[Milo v3]

People go up to me and start to talk while me headphones are amazingly visible and people just recently told me to turn my music down (Which I don't normally hear), and just start talking. They talk and talk and then tap me on the shoulder and ask for my opinion.
My response (Direct Quote):

"My opinion is that you should see if anyone is listening before talking pothoc."

My girlfriend once tapped me on the shoulder while I was listening to music and asks my opinion. And even though I'm horrible in social interactions with girls I know it would be suicide to say the above. So I say this (Direct Quote):

"I ... Um .. ah .. Could you repeat ...."
Her response to that gibberish which might be considered words 3000 years ago was that she didn't say anything and it turned out to be a joke to see how I would react compared to how I acted above.

[WJMill]

I am a medical transcriptionist, so I have a really hard time at the free clinic I work at with people trying to talk to me while I'm listening to dictation. I have to completely stop everything I'm doing because the way my brain works, if someone is talking to me and I am trying to type, I start typing what they are saying. I get a little irked when this happens, but if it's something related to the job or clinic, I don't get too annoyed.

However, I usually don't listen to music at home very much on my iPod with headphones. Either I have it hooked up to my computer or plugged into portable speakers. The only time I really listen to music with headphones is when I'm waiting for say.. a doctor's appointment, at the library, at the dentist, or on the airplane when I travel. Most of those places, unless you're with someone else you know, people will leave you be.

I usually respond with, 'Sorry, I couldn't hear you. What did you say?'

I have long-ish hair so a lot of the time people can't see my headphones in my ears, but most of the time you can see the cord. If I want to be completely stealth about it, I'll wear a hoodie or something and thread the cord down the front of it into a pocket in my pants. That's how I got out of listening to a bunch of math lectures in college. :D

[Jonesh]

As a face-to-face salesman I avoid speaking to people with headphones unless nobody else is around. People on the phone I never talk to. That's rude.
However, I still have a job to do so that's why I try to sell to headphone peeps :smalltongue: But then I usually gesture very clearly that I want to talk to them and I wait with asking any questions until they've either stopped or walked by.

I don't mind being talked to while wearing headphones, but you might get a "What was that, I didn't quite hear what you just said?".
If I'm the phone, then no, I am already talking to somebody else.

[Winter_Wolf]

I'll pull out one of the earbuds and answer one to a few questions, ask them if they need help with anything else, then place the earbud back in place, and stare off into space. Most people pick up that I'm not a real social person.

Usually it's enough to give the time, a couple directions, and/or basic information and everyone continues on their merry way.

Once, I made a point of publicly humiliating a person who just kept trying to pester me when all I wanted was to zone out and try to get a little rest on the long freaking bus ride after a hard day of work. I knew he was going to be that guy the second he got on the bus, too.

At that time my job was teaching at an English conversation school in Shanghai, and that f##)@*%@#@!! wanted me to teach him English. Dude goes and sits in the back of the bus. I close my eyes and rest my head against the window, I'm tired. About five minutes later he sneaks up and over to the seat on the other side of the bus a row behind me. I have good hearing, wasn't actually asleep, and there was no one else in the back of the bus, so I know it was him. A couple minutes after that, the guy plops down right next to me and shakes me to get my attention. At first I pretended I was Russian and didn't understand what he was saying. Then he said, "well I think you understand what I'm saying so I'm just going to keep talking to you." The look on my face? :smallannoyed: :smallmad:

Okay, fine. So in very loud Chinese , so even the driver at the front end of the bus could clearly hear it, I said, "I just got done with a long day of work, you clearly saw me trying to get some rest, and you come over here and try to guilt me into teaching you English for free? Get a clue you simp, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU." I'd do it again in a heartbeat. :smallamused:

[WarKitty]

I've been known to wear a pair of headphones with no actual music playing, just so I can have an excuse not to deal with people...

[CynicalAvocado]

I've been known to wear a pair of headphones with no actual music playing, just so I can have an excuse not to deal with people...

i do this as well

[Qaera]

I think this happens more to people that constantly listen to music. :smalltongue:
I don't use headphones. If I want to play some Andrea Bocelli or Flight of the Conchords or Norah Jones or the Lonely Island, I'll just play it out loud. Then people know I'm listening to music (and what I'm listening to).

Also I just hate how headphones feel.

[Admiral Squish]

Honestly? When I have kids, there will be no headphones in my house. You want music, you put it on speakers. I never use headphones, myself. I just think putting on headphones is inherently rude to everyone around you. It denotes a willful separation of yourself from those around you. Which is fine in some place like a crowded bus or some other public event, but when you're in a situation with acquaintances, it's just plain rude. If I really want to, I can tune my surroundings out just fine without creating a mechanical barrier. I'd want to be able to hear it if someone told me my jeans were on fire or something.

[Trekkin]

Honestly? When I have kids, there will be no headphones in my house. You want music, you put it on speakers. I never use headphones, myself. I just think putting on headphones is inherently rude to everyone around you. It denotes a willful separation of yourself from those around you. Which is fine in some place like a crowded bus or some other public event, but when you're in a situation with acquaintances, it's just plain rude. If I really want to, I can tune my surroundings out just fine without creating a mechanical barrier. I'd want to be able to hear it if someone told me my jeans were on fire or something.

I use headphones because I usually listen to music at night when other people are sleeping (although not necessarily all the other people in the house) , so the barrier is more to keep my sound in than their sound out. It's not always rude, in my opinion. Generally I listen to it in my room and sit facing the door, though, so that if someone comes in I can take them off before they start speaking.

[WarKitty]

Honestly? When I have kids, there will be no headphones in my house. You want music, you put it on speakers. I never use headphones, myself. I just think putting on headphones is inherently rude to everyone around you. It denotes a willful separation of yourself from those around you. Which is fine in some place like a crowded bus or some other public event, but when you're in a situation with acquaintances, it's just plain rude. If I really want to, I can tune my surroundings out just fine without creating a mechanical barrier. I'd want to be able to hear it if someone told me my jeans were on fire or something.

I suspect this depends on your family. But I've found in my home they can create a much-needed separation. If we have guests over, that's one thing. But my family? I'm around them 24/7. There's also a fair amount of what one family member considers "their favorite song ever" and another family member considers "intolerable noise." We have times to be together as a family. It doesn't need to happen all the time. Actually, it's kind of helpful to have a little signal of "I want some me time right now, don't bother me."

Also, not all of us can tune out that well. If someone has the TV on or is talking in the background, I will be rendered completely unable to concentrate on homework. Music=concentration. Background noise + work that needs to be done = very irritable kitty.

[DeadManSleeping]

I pause my music, take out at least one headphone, and engage them in conversation.

But I guess treating people nicely doesn't make for a funny story.

[WarKitty]

I pause my music, take out at least one headphone, and engage them in conversation.

But I guess treating people nicely doesn't make for a funny story.

I suppose it depends on the situation and your attitude towards unsolicited attention. Most of my grouchy reactions are when I didn't actually want to be social in the first place and some stranger is attempting to get my attention for no good reason.

[DeadManSleeping]

I tend to consider "conversation" a perfectly good reason, whether or not I am personally in the mood for it. I would never begrudge anyone at least a short exchange. After all, I know how I feel when I try to converse with someone and they seem to hate me from "hello".

[Coidzor]

Do people ever try to talk to you while you have headphones on and are, presumably, listening to music? How do you react to people insisting on your attention (with or without a good reason)?

Generally I find out what they want my attention for and go from there rather than having a hostile reaction straight from the get go.

Why? Should I instead immediately try to claw out their eyes or something? :smallconfused:

[WarKitty]

I tend to consider "conversation" a perfectly good reason, whether or not I am personally in the mood for it. I would never begrudge anyone at least a short exchange. After all, I know how I feel when I try to converse with someone and they seem to hate me from "hello".


Generally I find out what they want my attention for and go from there rather than having a hostile reaction straight from the get go.

Why? Should I instead immediately try to claw out their eyes or something? :smallconfused:

Heh. I suspect the difference is more my gender and location. I'm naturally suspicious because in general, strangers approaching me in public are men of dubious motivation. I've found that being too friendly tends to get you accused of being a flirt or tease, and tends to attract the wrong kind of attention.

[ZombyWoof]

Heh. I suspect the difference is more my gender and location. I'm naturally suspicious because in general, strangers approaching me in public are men of dubious motivation. I've found that being too friendly tends to get you accused of being a flirt or tease, and tends to attract the wrong kind of attention.
... You need to move to anywhere in the world other than where you are now.


ION: I saw someone at the card shop who made me think of you Kitty. She had a really cute black top and a red skirt, the only thing I *wasn't* a fan of were her contacts which made her eyes look like black and white swirls. I'm just a huuuuge fan of iris' so I'm not a huge fan of contact lenses that alter the color.

[Lord Raziere]

my dad does this sometimes. and he blames me for not paying attention, he instead shouts to get mine, and when I stopped the music and took them off he then shouts at me some more as it was my fault.

thankfully he cannot do that anymore as I have my own computer in my own room now. I do not regret not having the pleasure of his company to say the least.

[Traab]

Heh, I only have my ear buds in on a handful of times. One is in my room. When im in my room listening to music, (or an audiobook) I might as well be in a sensory deprivation tank for all that I can hear of the world going on outside my door. My ac is loud, my music is loud, and my door is shut. My parents used to get my attention by hurling a shoe up the stairs and hitting the wall outside my door hard enough for the vibrations to alert me.

Other times I use ear buds is at work, (I have a factory job, its noisy, and id rather hear music than listen to grind thump crunch all day) so there isnt much conversation usually, though when it does happen I turn off the music and listen as id rather chat than hear my 15th repetition of nickelbacks Next Contestant for the week.

On the few occasions where I am around other people and listening to music, I generally dont get annoyed until the 3rd or 4th time they absolutely HAVE to tell me something. Look, I realize that you are bored, but thats your fault for not bringing something to keep yourself interested. Please stop randomly trying to trigger a conversation once every 5 minutes. If I wanted to talk, I wouldnt be listening to music.

*EDIT* Oh, and for the poster who talked about not letting their kids use headphones, trust me, you will want them to eventually. I have a 9 year old niece who insists on listening to justin beiber, bruno mars, whats her face, will smiths daughter, and all sorts of other annoying bits of flotsam that are loosely referred to as "singers" I have her put in the damn headphones really quick. Mainly because she listens to the same half dozen songs, over, and over, and over again, and she sits on the computer right next to me on youtube doing it.

[bluewind95]

Honestly? When I have kids, there will be no headphones in my house. You want music, you put it on speakers. I never use headphones, myself. I just think putting on headphones is inherently rude to everyone around you. It denotes a willful separation of yourself from those around you. Which is fine in some place like a crowded bus or some other public event, but when you're in a situation with acquaintances, it's just plain rude. If I really want to, I can tune my surroundings out just fine without creating a mechanical barrier. I'd want to be able to hear it if someone told me my jeans were on fire or something.

I wear headphones most of the time. No music playing (usually. I mean... the ones I wear all the time don't even work anymore, the cable broke, but I do sometimes wear earbuds under those). Despite your idea of what headphones mean, to me, they mean being able to have a social interaction at all. My ears are very, very sensitive. Therefore, to be able to be in a noisy situation (a large family dinner counts as very noisy) without a lot of pain in my ears, I need to be wearing some kind of ear protection. Earphones are great because they drown out the noise just enough that I can take the noise but not enough that I can't hear whispers (I may have great hearing, but I still can't hear whispers several people down if I'm wearing full-blown earplugs, usually designed for, like, industrial settings!).

Additionally, when hearing music with my headphones, I always make sure that at its loudest, the music will not drown out the sound my fingers make when I rub them together. If the background noise is too much, I might need it a bit louder, but always just as loud as it needs to be for me to hear (and not past a certain point). My ipod, for example, is locked at half volume (or a bit less), and even then I usually set it at half that (or less!). That's loud enough for me. So I can easily hold a conversation even while listening to music.

What really exasperates me is when people assume I'm not listening or can't hear them even when I'm clearly responding (even nonverbally) to what they're saying. They even ask me what I'm listening to despite not having any wires (the broken wire is a retractable one, so it's not visible at all. They're just fancy earmuffs, these headphones) or any mp3 player visible. It further exasperates me when any mistake I make on listening (no, it's not the volume. I just have terrible hearing perception. I hear things VERY well, I just don't understand them half as well).

[Aeglewaygate]

I enjoy listening to the real sounds around me, and will mostly not use a headset unless I am gaming, but if a conversation arises that requires my attention or takes on my interest- I will most certainly remove it. :smallwink:

[Ricky S]

Whenever I travel on public transport I make sure to have headphones on. I get really tired of people just randomly talking to me on the bus or train. I don't want to talk to them and the only time they leave me alone is when I have headphones on and even then people still try and talk to me. It is also handy because you can simply ignore people who are asking for money or asking for donations or signatures for petitions.

I don't know why people insist on talking to other people when obviously they dont want people talking to them. Is it some sort of sick vindictive game that people like playing? "Oh there is a guy with headphones on, let me go and talk to him"

The other benefit of having headphones on is that you can enjoy your own music and not have to listen to the rubbish they plays at shopping centres.

[skywalker]

Generally I find out what they want my attention for and go from there rather than having a hostile reaction straight from the get go.

Why? Should I instead immediately try to claw out their eyes or something? :smallconfused:

Remember, you're on a medium that inherently attracts those who are less skilled (or willing to participate) in "real-world" interaction. So these responses are natural.

I certainly understand using headphones as a barrier on public transportation. It symbolically removes you from the equation whenever anything goes down. That's a good thing.

At the same time, I never use headphones to actually listen to stuff outside of my house. I find that they destroy my situational awareness, making it nearly impossible to comprehend the amount of detail I'd like to about my surroundings.