Team Puddy Tat - [IC]

[Dirac Lotus]

"Blink and you'll miss it. Well, you did.

One moment you were going about your usual business in the Capital City of Valona; the next you found yourself standing open-mouthed at the peculiar new moon in the sky.

Only it is no moon. The perfect, platinum-tinged sphere hovers unmoving in the skies, several hundred miles high above Valona. Spanning over a hands-width in size from your perspective, it is easy to see why the local commoners started rioting - aged men adorned with nothing but sandwhich boards depicting certain doom, amongst other maysayings, acting as a catalyst for the peoples terror.

Although nothing untoward has come of this event so far, the high Dictator Councilman Crebbs ordered an immediate lockdown of the city, just in case. In an effort to find out exactly what is going on, and to put the peoples minds at ease, he has assembled a crack team of Anthropomorphic animals, crazed spellcasters and quirky base classes.

You are said heroes. It is your task to fly to the moon, tell its inhabitants to park elsewhere, and to look damn cool whilst doing so. A few explosions wouldn't hurt either."


Shortly after the arrival of this moon, you were approached by a three-legged Bariaur with a pegleg, and a contingent of noble gaurdsmen. The Bariaur introduced himself as your leader, and offered to pay you greatly to deal with this threat. Handing you a letter with an address, date and advance payment of 100gp; he left you with a choice. Do nothing and potentially be destroyed, or follow the plot hook and save the city.

/ooc - Please give a short paragraph explaining what you were doing when this moon appeared, and if you want, your response to the Bariaur.

[Zaydos]

Hearing the commotion outside, Tom uses it as a distraction while he takes his dice, and losing wager of 2 GP, and rushes from the tavern. Exiting, he sees men garbed in sandwhich boards, and turning to one says, Where did you get that you're wearing? More importantly where can I get one, and do they come in blue?

Um, Tom, Tiber, invisible, says alighting on his shoulder, You might want to look up.

Why? Tom says, without looking up.

There's a new moon.

That's odd, wasn't there a full moon yesterday? Tom says finally looking up.

Nah, you were drunk

Then why is a new moon anything odd? And why's there a second moon? Tom asks vaguely before turning back to one of the doom-sayers, and saying, So where can I get me one of those, and can I get it in blue?

[Lizard Lord]

A cat digs through garbage while the people riot and panic in the street. The noise causes the cat to pop its head out of the pile of trash to see what the commotion is all about. It notices the two moons, blinks and goes back to digging through the garbage.

The cat finds a tasty piece of week old fish when it hears the three legged bariaur and its human assistant come along. Curious, as cats are said to be, this one pokes its head out to see what the problem is.

The Bariaur looks at the cat and asks. "Are you the angry cat that can take one those with adventure classes?"

The cat responds simply "Meow."

The Bariaur nods and turns to his assistant. "Alright Jenkins if this is a normal stray than we should take it to the pound. A shame they put it to sleep here. It is a rather dirty animal."

The human assistant will grab the cat only to be struck down with its slashing claws and gnashing teeth. As Jenkins falls down dead the Bariaur smiles. "I'll have you know, Jenkins is a level two commoner. I knew you were no normal cat."

This time the angry cat responds differently, with a bit of a hiss to its voice. "Crap. How did you know?"

"Well, this post wouldn't be made if it didn't involve a PC."

"Fair enough. What do you want?"

The Bariaur points up towards the sky. You may have noticed that we have two moons."

"Yea, so?"

"So, I want you to investigate."

"Why?"

"It could be bad."

"Yea, so?"

"I can pay you."

"You moron, what's a cat going to do with money?"

"You can has cheese burger."

"You can has? What kind of idiot talks like that?"

"Ever heard of a lolcat?"

"No, but I do have a strange urge to kill you for mentioning it to me. But, whatever, I'll do it for the food."

The Bariaur will hand the cat the address with the letter on it.

"Moron! Cats can't read!"

"Cats can't talk either."

"What kind of stupid answer is that? I'm talking to you aren't I? Besides, I don't have thumbs. How can I open the letter without thumbs?"

The bariaur sighs. "Just...just follow one of the other party members."

"And how the Basement Cat am I suppose to know where they are?"

"You know about basement cat but not about lol....never mind. Just follow me, and when I meet one of the other party members follow him."

[dark9174]

Driisskarr looked up at the moon in wonder. He tried two at least, a giant platinum sphere a relatively few feet less higher than the several hundred miles that it would be from the street. Yes he's on the roof of a building. Why wouldn't he be. The sandwich board clad Nietzsche Wannabes claiming the end of the world. He had to threaten a few with his gun, and kill one... in self defense... for his sanity. Also, he wondered, who in the nine hells is Nietzsche? Looking down on the chaos below, he spotted the morally ambiguous Bariaur that ran the city. Deciding to drop down from his perch and through some conveniently placed awnings, he walked over to the Bariaur who happened to be walking with a cat.

"Hello, Dict...ouncilmen Crebbs. Anything happening in your fine town?" He inquired with a smile.

[Halna LeGavilk]

Johnny stood at the gates, staring at the sheer stupidity of the sandwich-board men, holding the . He wanders over to the street corner, places his hat on the ground, and begins shouting.

"Hear me, good prophets of doom! The apocalypse is coming! In such circumstances, you no longer need such trifle things such as gold or silver, or copper or platinum! In fact, your gods would probably take offense to such things! I am protected from the power of the gods, and thus, you should give me all of your money!"

Bluff: [roll0]
Diplomacy: [roll1]

[Dark Kerman]

Aesor flew out of the pub he was in, rolling forward as he hit the floor, buck naked, to find himself fall flat on his back in the alley adjacent. Looking up to the sky, he noticed something he hadn't before, the moon, gigantified and conspicious.... In his mind, the thought one thing.

That's no moon, that's a space sta...

The thought was cut short, as a loose tile fell off the roof, cracking him on the head.

*Thwack!*

Dazed and confused, he stumbled into the street, veering into a doomsayer, scantily clad with billboard.

"Ah! Another initiate! Here, take this!"

The crazed nihilist placed a billboard over the naked gnome, adorned with the words "Evrywon is domed" and wandered off, screaming fatalistic portents to the other citizens.


As he stood there, confused, concussed and drunken, a Bariur approached him.

"Hello there, I have an offer for you, that could get you quite a bit of money..."

*hic* I'll taksh it, but firsht let me get my shtuff

[Dirac Lotus]

Tom:
The doomsayer looks at you, a puzzled look on his face. "Blue? Why blu... oh! Blue is the colour of the sky! The sky comes to kill us all! Here, take this." He removes his sandwhich board, placing it over your head, before skipping away daintily. "Paint it with the sky! The sky is blue!"

Angry Cat:
The Bariaur looks stunned for a moment, before reeling backwards. He quickly gathers himself, before speaking further. "I'm sorry. I don't know what just came over me. It's as though all control was taken away from me and I was given a whole new purpose in life..." He trails off, lost in thought. "Nevermind, follow me."

Jenkin's gives you a dirty look, his name tag reflecting the light from the new moon rather menacingly.

It is not long before you are greeting by a man with a gun. The bariaur hands him a slip of paper, and tells you to follow him. He then suspiciously walks away.

Driisskarr:
The councilman does nothing but hand you a note, whispering in your ear. "Go there. Meet others. Save the world. Watch out for the lolcat, it has strange powers."

Johnny:
Heartily swayed by your words, some of the the doomsayers throw their billboards at you, yelling "We have nothing of value except our words, here, take them!"

Amidst this commotion a Bariaur approaches you, hands you a note and walks away. The note contains a date and address.

Aesor:
You suddenly find yourself fully clothed in a leather motorcycle jacket, and helm. The Bariaur winks at you. "You must make haste, young Aesor. Here, take my Harley." The Bariaur then proceeds to lead you towards a mighty fine looking mount (horse). "She has the power of three horses. Quadruple locomotive appendages and sentient thoughts. She is yours for the day, treat her well.

The Bariaur slaps both you and the horse on the rump, before galloping off.

[dark9174]

Driisskarr nods to the councilman, not understanding what he meant at all, and looks at the cat, figuring it would know something. He asks in feline.

"Meow?"
Translation
What is an lolcat?

[Zaydos]

As Tom wanders to find blue paint, he is approached by the bariur.

When the bariaur arrives and informs him of their mission, Tom says, It's a deal, I'll help but I'll need blue paint.

You don't need blue paint, now stop making me be the sane one! Tiber screams angrily.

Then you get blue paint, Tom says petulantly going to the address indicated.

[Lizard Lord]

The angry cat responds in kind.

"Meow!"

Translation: "I don't know! Why in the name of Ceiling Cat do you people keep mentioning that?"

[Halna LeGavilk]

Johnny sighs as he gets the note. "I better get some good money from this..." With that, he tosses the billboards aside, and wanders to the nearest tavern and sits at the bar.

[Dark Kerman]

Aesor clambers upon Harley, steadies himself, and whispers
"Truly, this must be a Triumph of a steed. To the address!"
Reading the envelope, he rides off into the distance to his destination, coin-purse full and jingling.

[dark9174]

Driisskarr shrugs at the cats inquiry.

"Meow."

Translation
I have no idea, he said it had strange powers, but he didn't seem right in the head. I guess politics do that to a person.

[Dirac Lotus]

Johnny:
The bartender, a gruff, nameless NPC waddles over towards your stool. "Another adventurer looking for a questing party? A Gnome just left here a few minutes ago, seemed an apt hand with a fist. Crebbs gave him a note, dunno what for,"

"Sorry, I ramble. There aren't enough PCs hanging around in my tavern for my liking. What can I do ya for?

Aesor and Tom arrive at the location given on the note. The building itself doesn't appear to be anything special - if anything, it looks like an abandoned warehouse. The Bariaur from before greets you there, alongside his retinue of guards. "It seems the others are being held up. Why don't you make yourself comfortable whilst we wait." With those words, several leather couches materialise next to you.

One of the Bariaur's guards approaches you with a cloche, offering its contents: "Scone?"

[Lizard Lord]

"Meow."

Translation: Yea, I hate politics. That's why I never ran for office. Anyways, we should get going. You know the address right?

[Zaydos]

Tom accepts the scone, Is my blue paint here?

[dark9174]

"Meow."

Translation

I know where it theoretically is. I'm sure will find it, eventually.

[Dark Kerman]

Aesor feels somewhat worse for wear "Got any water?" but accepts the scone.

[Dirac Lotus]

As the last of you arrive at the given address, the Bariaur hands over a bucket of blue paint to Tom, and a flagon of water to Aesor. Offering round a final batch of scones, he apologies for the lack of jam.

"It is good to see you all here. As I'm sure you are aware, we are currently having a problem with an illegally parked satellite. Now, we need to find a way aboard it, which will be no easy task."

"If anyone does know of any RAW way of propelling a group of people to a geostationary satellite, then please step forward now. Otherwise, my contact within the Gnomish mountains informs me that the construction of a gaseous dihydrogen monoxide powered airship is almost complete. I need you to go there and acquire that ship however you want, and fly it to the moon."

With these parting words, the Bariaur hands you each a map of the local region with a large, red 'X' marking the location of the Gnomish airship.

"It is about a 2 day ride from here. The Gnomish base is located within a mountain, so you may need to do some scouting once you're there. The entrance should be fairly obvious however."

"Questions?"

[Zaydos]

Well RAW there's no escape velocity or need for air pressure for flight so you could use a Fly or derivative spell so long as you had a way to avoid altitude sickness, and/or the need to breath. I believe there are ioun stones for the latter, so ioun stones and any means of flight. Tiber chimes in helpfully.

Will we be provided with horses? Tom asks, ignoring his imaginary friend.

[dark9174]

Drisskarr thinks for a moment, then speaks up.

"What about payment? The amount of dihydrogen monoxide would have to be dangerous from the amount of pressure, or possible death if inhaled. I've heard horror stories of what a painful death it is if that stuff gets in your lungs."

[Dark Kerman]

"Gnomes? Why Gnomes? You can't trust a Gnome"

[Lizard Lord]

The cat lazily looks up at Aesor before speaking in common. "Aren't you a gnome? Or are you just a hairy human child? I hope not. I hate children. I hate humans too. Come to think of, I hate gnomes as well. Why did I agree to this again?"

[Zaydos]

I'm a human, Tom objects.

You aren't helping your case, the invisible Tiber says, then turning his head looks at the cat They are a hateable bunch, aren't they? Always demanding, and whiny, oh so whiny.

[dark9174]

Drisskarr really doesn't pay attention to the cats rants, and responds dryly.

"Because the plot says you do."

[Zaydos]

The gnomes' plot? I should have known you can never trust a gnome. Professor Moriarty is a gnome, the puzzle is complete now! Tom says as if having some great eureka moment.

You aren't Holmes, Tiber says dismissively, So will we be able to breathe in space with this gnomish ship or can we just breathe in space in this world? Tiber asks getting to the business.

This dirty footprint must be the culprits! Tom shouts investigating his own footprint.

[Dark Kerman]

"Don't be ridiculous! Moriarty wasn't a Gnome, he was a Glabrezu in disguise, it was obvious by all the fish heads he left round the place.... Does anyone here know a good hangover cure?"

[Dirac Lotus]

"Yes, I shall provide you all with mounts. Mr Erasor already has my Harley, but I have four more steeds - Victory, Kawasaki, Triumph and Yamaha - in my personal stable." The bariaur gives you directions to the stables, as well as a key to access them.

"Drisskarr. Fear not, the Gnomes inform me that the Dihydrogen Monoxide is closely monitered at all times, and that the necessary precautions are always taken. However, should tragedy befall you, I have an insurance scheme that will cover you."

"Do not worry, I have the utmost faith in Gnomish engineering. I assure you that all necessary measures will be taken to get you to the moon in one piece. If that is all, I shall be off."

The Bariaur begins to stride slowly away, before turning back to you and exclaiming: "Oh, and no short jokes." Before wandering off.

[Dark Kerman]

"Well, we best be off I guess."

Downing the water, Aesor rears up on the hind wheel legs of his Harley, and goes off in search of the mountains.

You guys coming?

[Zaydos]

Tom spurs Kawasaki forward. High ho River! He shouts following.

[dark9174]

Drisskarr chose victory as his mount, he rides towards the others. "If only one of us had had whip proficiency, improved trip, mounted combat and ride by attack." He yells as he catches up to the gnome and human.