Did you ever just wanna smack your DM?

[Drelua]

Last night, I was playing a pathfinder campaign at level 4. I left for 2 minutes, and was informed that my character's pants had been removed by the ranger. Apparently, it is only a minus ten penalty to sleight of hand to remove someone's tight fitting pants (I was a swashbuckler) as he is walking, even though he had to cut them open so that they would fit over my boots. I was simply told when I returned that I 'felt a little breezy'. I was told I failed a perception check because someone else at the table rolled a 1 for me, not even the DM, just another player.

I couldn't even comprehend how he could think that was reasonable.I mean, minus 10? For that? And, he just lets another player roll for me. Because I was quite literally, gone for 2, maybe 3 minutes. I'm in the right here, aren't I? If so, have you had any similar moments?

Edit: I should mention that the ranger had max ranks in sleight of hand, giving him +9ish, vs my +5 perception.

[Dragonsoul]

That's kinda childish,it depends on the character. You could do anything from ignore it to Shank him six ways to Sunday (The ranger).

Yes, It probably is -10, I've had games where the Sorceror convinced my character that the quest giver was a Bug bear, despite a -20 Penalty.

I'd say Brush it off, but make it clear that you roll your own dice all of the time, and no pulling your pants down while er.. you have your pants down.

[Calimehter]

I have fuzzy memories of a couple of RL experiences of not noticing a lack of pants . . . though the 'circumstance modifiers' of those situations were both large and embarrasing to discuss further. :smalleek:

"Realistic" or not, it really doesn't belong in most D&D games, unless you guys are going for a Mel-Brooks-Robin-Hood style of game.

[NNescio]

I have fuzzy memories of a couple of RL experiences of not noticing a lack of pants . . . though the 'circumstance modifiers' of those situations were both large and embarrasing to discuss further. :smalleek:

"Realistic" or not, it really doesn't belong in most D&D games, unless you guys are going for a Mel-Brooks-Robin-Hood style of game.

I trust that 'poison' was involved somehow?

[Gnome Alone]

"Please don't roll dice for me. And give me back my pants."

[Drelua]

That's really a minus 10? I should mention a few things. My pants were tucked in to my boots, likely close to knee-high. He did this, the way he described it, in two of my characters steps. I would have had to have felt nothing as he put knife in my pants to cut them open. There's so many more reasons that this can't happen (Maybe, since 'I' rolled a 1, but not otherwise) that are too obvious for me to mention. With the prevalence of magic in DnD, I'd say its easier to convince someone you're a bugbear than it is to do what his character did.

Edit: I guess the rules don't really matter in this case, so I'll get off that subject. What really bugs me is the childishness. Seems to me my DM has seen 'The Gamers' a few too many times.

[Calimehter]

I trust that 'poison' was involved somehow?

Actually, one of them involved chasing small troublesome children by the windows while I was just out of the shower. I still have trouble saying "hello" to the mailman with a straight face.

[Kojiro]

Rolling for you while you're out, especially when someone's trying to screw you over (while you're not there), is rather rude, in my opinion. The DM and the other player(s) both shouldn't have done that or let it happen.

[IthroZada]

While amusing in the Gamers, that's a bit too silly for an actual game. And besides, Perception covers listening and hearing, and not feeling. Unless the ranger is so skilled at sleight of hand as to deaden the nerves on your skin. And even then, I think your lower extremities going numb would be a warning sign.

[Drelua]

IthroZada, as much as I would like you to be right, in Pathfinder "perception covers all 5 senses" ( I realized after I typed this that it is a direct quote from the core rulebook...huh). I don't know, maybe you're thinking of 4E.

[navar100]

Yes.

Many times.

I don't mean only my current DM, but even then only when the choo choo train crashes hard.

[IthroZada]

IthroZada, as much as I would like you to be right, in Pathfinder "perception covers all 5 senses" ( I realized after I typed this that it is a direct quote from the core rulebook...huh). I don't know, maybe you're thinking of 4E.

You are indeed correct.

On another note, the ranger doesn't just have to beat a perception check, he has to beat a flat DC of 20. And if the ranger was at a +9, and had a -10 penalty, is a bit sketchy.

[NikitaDarkstar]

It sounds perfectly legal I'm afraid, but considering you were only gone a couple of minutes they really should have let you roll your own dice at least. And it also does sound quite childish, but if the character wants to act like a child ingame I'd give him a scolding befitting a child and them treat him as such until he behaves like a somewhat sensible individual at least.

PS: Also, remember you never smack the DM, you throw dice at the DM, preffarbly heavy metal ones.

[Drelua]

On another note, the ranger doesn't just have to beat a perception check, he has to beat a flat DC of 20. And if the ranger was at a +9, and had a -10 penalty, is a bit sketchy.

You're right about that. He told told me he got a total of 26, which had to be before the -10 penalty. This isn't the first time he's been flat-out wrong about the rules - I correct him all the time. So, that WAS impossible. It wasn't the rules that failed me, but an arrogant DM that barely knows the rules. Frankly, I'd prefer it to be the other way around...

[Slipperychicken]

That's awful. I say talk to the player and DM about what kind of campaign you're in, and whether you should expect that sort of thing. Express that you don't want this sort of thing to happen, even though the rules say it can. Everyone has lines he/she doesn't want to cross, so let them know this is one of yours.



Also, that's a damn good reason for killing the ranger in-character. RAEG in character, find the most-likely person in the vicinity/party (hopefully the ranger in this case, but your character is probably to angry to care) and slaughter him. Loot the body, and take his pants for yourself.

[Drelua]

PS: Also, remember you never smack the DM, you throw dice at the DM, preffarbly heavy metal ones d4.

You forgot that bit. Those things are dangerous.

[IthroZada]

You forgot that bit. Those things are dangerous.

These d4s? http://www.shapeways.com/model/126266/thorn_dice_set_with_decader.html?gid=rg

[NNescio]

These d4s? http://www.shapeways.com/model/126266/thorn_dice_set_with_decader.html?gid=rg

These?

http://ompldr.org/vOWV3aw/300px-Caltrop_from_Vietnam_1968.jpg

[Drelua]

These?

What do you think would happen if I painted numbers on one of those and tried to us it as a d4 in an actual game? You know, assuming it didn't just sit there for the whole session.

[NikitaDarkstar]

These d4s? http://www.shapeways.com/model/126266/thorn_dice_set_with_decader.html?gid=rg

Yes, those.

And d4's main danger is when they fall on the ground. Otherwise I prefer d12's. No harm if they get lodged in the DM's face and you can't/won't touch it again. Well unless you're playing a barbarian, then you need it. :p

[HunterOfJello]

Since I DM most of the time, sometimes I want to smack my players. Othertimes I want to smack myself. On a rare occasion I want to smack everyone at the table. And on a very rare instance, I've been tempted to smack the cats in the room too (and they're nice kitties :smallfrown: )

[Hawkings]

Can't help with the rules but maybe a suggestion will help.

Since you're a swashbuckler and probably good with both a weapon and skill checks and could probably pull off the exact same trick just as easily why not wait for a good opportunity to return the favor? when the ranger's player leaves the room for a minute recreating the circumstances maybe he’ll find himself pants less and kicked into the kings throne room with the door slammed behind him, or if you’re malicious find out who’d care when the ranger is devoured by a dragon because his pants suddenly found themselves around his ankles.
If anything it's turnabout and that's fair play, with the exception that you're upping the stakes.

Is this good advice? Probably not, but it would be funny.

If anything count yourself lucky that the prank was only an embarrassing one, I was once in a game in which the characters pranks became progressively larger each time they got back at each other; I wouldn’t really suggest this in any group without a good sense of humor but that’s up to you.

Personally I think the player should be able to roll for himself or designate a substitute player if he knows he’ll be gone for a bit but otherwise they could wait a minute if it’s a bathroom break or something, or perhaps you think they just said it was a roll of 1 to pull it off. If that’s the case than rules have nothing to do with it as that’s all about trust with your group.

And to answer the title’s question, yes I’d have liked to have many occasions, but that doesn’t mean I should.

[Ravens_cry]

I have one DM who, when describing what happens to my character, gives the emotional reaction as well. Thanks, but that is my prerogative. If I am panicked, I will tell you, through acting or description, how my character feels, what they say.

[Midnight_v]

Sigh... thats not cool. Now everyones gets to laugh and call you breezy the swashbuckler.
Its always annoying to have people get a laugh at your expense. Yeah they should have let you roll your own dice.
It was shennanigans though and as long as they don't continue, I'd shrug it off that once. Maybe do something similar like curdmudgeon suggested in a couple games when he leaves the table "arch an eyebrow and give it to him".

Yeah... I'm sure we've all wanted to lay the smack down a few times.

[LansXero]

You forgot that bit. Those things are dangerous.

More so than these? : http://www.orau.org/ptp/collection/consumer%20products/dudice.htm

[MrRigger]

You know what the solution to people stealing your pants is? Stop wearing pants. Make them uncomfortable about it, too. And blame the Ranger, because if he hadn't stolen your pants, you never would have discovered this side of yourself.

MrRigger

[Otherworld Odd]

Was also playing PF once and hit the BBEG with my greatsword, dealing a respectable amount of damage. Damage was rolled, and the turn order had progressed some.

My DM: OHWAIT, you're in a hallway, so you actually would have taken a penalty to your attack roll, therefore you would have missed him. *Subtract damage*

-.-... Needless to say, my inquisitor shot himself in the head with his repeating crossbow.

[Silus]

Wanted to smack one of the DMs I played with. Guy was terribad. Worse as a player. To many reason to mention, so let's just go with "Could not balance encounters" as a starter.

[Coidzor]

See my sig. And who hasn't wanted to smack one of their friends before?

[RndmNumGen]

The worst DM I've had was one that just sort of stop scheduling games. When I ask if the game was still going on, he would usually say it was, just that there wasn't time right then. However, even when there was time he would usually start a new one instead of continuing the existing one - I get that after a while you may lose interest in things, but I hate having perpetual cliffhangers. After this happened 2-3 times, I just stopped playing with him.

So yeah, kind of annoying, but not really smackworthy. I guess I'm a bit lucky in that regard.

[Drelua]

Dropping a campaign right in the middle? I've done that a hell of a lot more than 2 or 3 times with my DM. Can't balance encounters? One time he kept telling us how hard a fight was going to be, so we spent like 20 minutes coming up with a strategy, only to have my soulknife end the fight in the first round (after the surprise round, that is), dropping the leader with two throws. I can think of a lot more things that are a lot worse. Like when he stops play to make an NPC on his computer...

[Taelas]

There are some things that are just not doable. Removing someone's pants while they are wearing them without them noticing? That's one of them.

[Drelua]

There are some things that are just not doable. Removing someone's pants while they are wearing them without them noticing? That's one of them.

That's what I said, but my DM didn't care. You know why? 'Cause it was funny.
Oh, and, to everyone that mentioned it, revenge isn't an option in character. Not when the DM is the player.

[NikitaDarkstar]

So this is a DMPC? If so that's the problem right there. Alarmingly few DM's can run a character and DM at the same time.. without making the character effin annoying as hell anyway.

[Drelua]

So this is a DMPC? If so that's the problem right there. Alarmingly few DM's can run a character and DM at the same time.. without making the character effin annoying as hell anyway.

The reason we have a DMPC is that we have a very small group - depending on who can make it, we have two to four players, but rarely so many as four. We always have a DMPC, which usually isn't very problematic. Usually.

[Coidzor]

That's what I said, but my DM didn't care. You know why? 'Cause it was funny.
Oh, and, to everyone that mentioned it, revenge isn't an option in character. Not when the DM is the player.

That's why you tell them that it was a funny joke, but no, this is not flying.

[NikitaDarkstar]

Sorry to say it but if the DMPC can pull things like this and get away without any sort of IC reaction cause the character is played by the DM, then yes it's a problem. All characters should be equal when it comes to treatment and expectations, and if IC revenge isn't possible in any way then this really isn't the case is it?

Thats why I'm saying very few DM's can run a PC and DM at the same time. DM'ing takes one mentality, running a PC another, the two rarely mesh well.

[Tyndmyr]

That's what I said, but my DM didn't care. You know why? 'Cause it was funny.
Oh, and, to everyone that mentioned it, revenge isn't an option in character. Not when the DM is the player.

Well, there's your problem. The answer is fire.

[HalfDragonCube]

Well, there's your problem. The answer is fire.

... There are better solutions to problems than 'fire'. How crude.

There's lightning, for a start. :smallamused:

[John Campbell]

I once recruited a guy into the SCA on the promise that he'd get to smack our DM with a stick.

As for the OP, I recommend murdering the DMPC. Or finding some grown-ups to play with. Either one.

[Drelua]

I once recruited a guy into the SCA on the promise that he'd get to smack our DM with a stick.

As for the OP, I recommend murdering the DMPC. Or finding some grown-ups to play with. Either one.

I wish I could find some grown-ups, but I live in the middle of nowhere and don't have a driver's license. I really don't know any other people to play with. Anyone know if PbP would be a decent option?

[Darth_Versity]

If it's a dmpc then you need a concrete revenge that he can't stop without being so vicious as to provoke a nasty reaction. Next time your in town buy some alchemist fire and other mundane gear like caltrops to avoid suspicion. Then when everyone is resting volunteer to take first watch.

When everyone is asleep pour the contents of the bottle over the dms pants (if he took them off then his bedroll is a suitable replacement) and laugh manically as he struggles to get out.

When he complains just say that your not skilled enough to steal them from under him so opted on a different method to 'remove' his pants. now you have removed his pants and complimented his thieving skill in one go.

[Claudius Maximus]

I wish I could find some grown-ups, but I live in the middle of nowhere and don't have a driver's license. I really don't know any other people to play with. Anyone know if PbP would be a decent option?

PbP has its own notorious problems, including the incredible slowness of the medium, the tendency of players and DMs to flake, and often the lack of some of the social aspect of D&D. If you can overcome these problems or find unusually good people to play with it can work out just fine, but most don't end well. Nevertheless you might want to take a look at the recruitment section, why not.

Other options for online gamery include IRC games, Skype games, or a system like Maptool. These are in real time and thus are a bit more engaging than PbP.

[Rodimal]

Every single solitary chest in a small temple we went into was trapped. In a temple of low level clerics! With nothing at all of value in said chests! The reason.....so the CLERICS COULD PRACTICE GETTING BY TRAPS ON THEIR OWN TRUNKS!! I got hit by a thunderstone, deafened and came very close to throwing my dice and my character sheet at our DM.


Out

[OverdrivePrime]

Last night, I was playing a pathfinder campaign at level 4. I left for 2 minutes, and was informed that my character's pants had been removed by the ranger. Apparently, it is only a minus ten penalty to sleight of hand to remove someone's tight fitting pants (I was a swashbuckler) as he is walking, even though he had to cut them open so that they would fit over my boots. I was simply told when I returned that I 'felt a little breezy'. I was told I failed a perception check because someone else at the table rolled a 1 for me, not even the DM, just another player.

I couldn't even comprehend how he could think that was reasonable.I mean, minus 10? For that? And, he just lets another player roll for me. Because I was quite literally, gone for 2, maybe 3 minutes. I'm in the right here, aren't I? If so, have you had any similar moments?

Edit: I should mention that the ranger had max ranks in sleight of hand, giving him +9ish, vs my +5 perception.
Few things are more frustrating than a DMPC in the hands of an immature DM who hasn't figured out how to properly flirt with girls.

Anyway, to make your feelings known on the matter, ask the DM if it would be a similar -10 penalty to castrate the ranger without him noticing. 'Cause, you know, it's about the same level of skill required. :smallwink:

-10? Seriously? If a player in one of my games asked to do that (and it's happened, but only when the target is still at the table. Pranking behind someone's back is very bad form) they're looking at a minimum of a -30 penalty.

[Drelua]

Few things are more frustrating than a DMPC in the hands of an immature DM who hasn't figured out how to properly flirt with girls.

Actually, I think the problem is that he does know how to impress girls - make someone else look bad. He's the only one in my group with much of a life outside of DnD. He also seems to find nothing funnier than bad things happening to other people. Stealing pants has been a running joke in my group since our first campaign, but one that was originally left for NPCs - you know, so everyone finds it funny.

[Claudius Maximus]

Actually, I think the problem is that he does know how to impress girls - make someone else look bad.

What kind of girls do you hang out with?

Anyway I don't see how de-pantsing someone is a -10 penalty when stealing a sheathed sword is DC 50. You'd think the pants thing would be harder.

[Drelua]

What kind of girls do you hang out with?

Very, very few. To be honest, I think most of the girls I'm friends with are lesbians. That would be 2.

[only1doug]

If it's a dmpc then you need a concrete revenge that he can't stop without being so vicious as to provoke a nasty reaction. Next time your in town buy some alchemist fire and other mundane gear like caltrops to avoid suspicion. Then when everyone is resting volunteer to take first watch.

When everyone is asleep pour the contents of the bottle over the dms pants (if he took them off then his bedroll is a suitable replacement) and laugh manically as he struggles to get out.

When he complains just say that your not skilled enough to steal them from under him so opted on a different method to 'remove' his pants. now you have removed his pants and complimented his thieving skill in one go.

This is just Wrong!

You need to wait until the DMPC is low on hitpoints (preferably negative but that will never happen) then feed him a "Healing potion" of Alchemists fire.

Then stab it until it is dead.

Then behead it.

Then incinerate the corpse.

Then Feed the Head to the next monster you encounter.

Then Kill the Monster.

Then Incinerate the Monsters corpse.

(I'm not a fan of DMPCs who can pick on PCs with no chance of vengence.)

Alternate Plan.

Kill The DMPC as detailed above and then carry the corpse with you and throw it at any monsters you encounter... "hey DM, you were right, this DMPC is very useful..."


Second Alternate Plan

Wait until you are on watch and DMPC is asleep, then cut his throat (coup de Gras), then continue as above.

[Rogue Shadows]

I couldn't even comprehend how he could think that was reasonable.I mean, minus 10? For that? And, he just lets another player roll for me. Because I was quite literally, gone for 2, maybe 3 minutes. I'm in the right here, aren't I? If so, have you had any similar moments?

You're in the right. No, I've never had any similar moments.

...I just realized that where I am, it's 6 AM. I am not getting any sleep unless this is my last post.

[OverdrivePrime]

Actually, I think the problem is that he does know how to impress girls - make someone else look bad. He's the only one in my group with much of a life outside of DnD. He also seems to find nothing funnier than bad things happening to other people. Stealing pants has been a running joke in my group since our first campaign, but one that was originally left for NPCs - you know, so everyone finds it funny.

High school, yes? Don't worry, he'll get his comeuppance. Eventually people figure out that someone who's main gig is embarrassing others is actually just a colossal d-bag.

In the mean time, focus on the things you enjoy abou the game and the other people. I've certainly played under my share of d-bag DMs in the past.
The key is not to reward their d-baggery with attention - neither positive nor negative. Try to reinforce the cool stuff he creates or does with praise, and just give a 'meh' lukewarm reaction to the jerky stuff. So, if your pants get stolen again, calmly tick off one set of pants on your character sheet. Whenever your character does finally get a spot check or a search check or whatever to noticed your missing hosiery, dryly raise any eyebrow and ask, "this again?" Then pull on your new pants, ask for the cost to replace them from the DMPC, and if he refuses just shrug and head back to town.
No need to get into an unwinnable fight with a DMPC (you totally should be able to win because it's a Ranger who's dumped skill ranks into slight of hand for crying out loud... but it's a DMPC so, no). Register a complaint there with the local sheriff that there's someone who's stealing and destroying pants... play up the fact that you felt assaulted, and then use some of your money to buy some nice new clothes... maybe this time with an alarm spell cast on them.

Quick question about your character - what level are you, and what's your planned character path? No more than 3-4 swashbuckler levels, correct?

[NecroRick]

This isn't the first time he's been flat-out wrong about the rules - I correct him all the time.

Have you considered that the sceond part of this statement might be why stupid things happen to your character when you're not in the room?

Try going a couple of sessions without correcting the DM on rules he got wrong, see if it makes a difference.

[Honest Tiefling]

On the other hand, if the DMPC is allowed to nerf players and ignore common sense, I suspect that many a time, the DM has not ruled fairly. I mean, how freaking long does it take someone to realize that their little ranger is a bit cold?

Maybe ease up on rule lawyering, unless it is simply unfair to any player. He might be a bit hostile to you because of this, but I do not suggest taking abuse because his DMPC has to be an uber-cool cheeky rogue. It is going to say that he can godmode his DMPC and he might get worse.

[Jornophelanthas]

Perhaps you should consider becoming DM for your group. And show them by example how to have a fun game without embarassing the players, or constantly referring to people's leg clothing.

[Drelua]

Well, with how frequently and horribly wrong my DM is, not correcting him really isn't an option. And its not that he's hostile to my character, they just generally act like children, even though I'm no older that any of them, and a bit younger than a few of them. (just graduated high school)

I have been thinking about DM, but our sessions are rarely planned very far in advance, no more than a couple days. I have almost no DMing experience, so I need a lot more time to prepare, but he can improvise pretty well story wise, so he always DM. My problem is that I actually try to avoid cliches, it seems.

[Taelas]

Clichés are clichés for a reason. :smallwink:

[Rogue Shadows]

I have been thinking about DM, but our sessions are rarely planned very far in advance, no more than a couple days. I have almost no DMing experience, so I need a lot more time to prepare, but he can improvise pretty well story wise, so he always DM. My problem is that I actually try to avoid cliches, it seems.

Good luck with that..."there's nothing new under the sun" and all that jazz.

[Coidzor]

So You Wanna Be A DM, eh? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76474)

[Drelua]

So You Wanna Be A DM, eh? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76474)

Thanks for that. I'll make sure to read it as soon as I have time. Right now, I've gotta prepare for a new campaign and hope the DM doesn't completely screw this one up.

[Lord Loss]

Open the PHB to the page explaining the rules for skill checks. Staple it so that it stays like this, then glue the book to a baseball bat.

Hit the DM and Player with the book until they remember the rules, or wind up concussed.

[HalfDragonCube]

Open the PHB to the page explaining the rules for skill checks. Staple it so that it stays like this, then glue the book to a baseball bat.

Hit the DM and Player with the book until they remember the rules, or wind up concussed.

Unfortunately, that might damage the book.

[hobbitkniver]

Last night, I was playing a pathfinder campaign at level 4. I left for 2 minutes, and was informed that my character's pants had been removed by the ranger. Apparently, it is only a minus ten penalty to sleight of hand to remove someone's tight fitting pants (I was a swashbuckler) as he is walking, even though he had to cut them open so that they would fit over my boots. I was simply told when I returned that I 'felt a little breezy'. I was told I failed a perception check because someone else at the table rolled a 1 for me, not even the DM, just another player.

I couldn't even comprehend how he could think that was reasonable.I mean, minus 10? For that? And, he just lets another player roll for me. Because I was quite literally, gone for 2, maybe 3 minutes. I'm in the right here, aren't I? If so, have you had any similar moments?

Edit: I should mention that the ranger had max ranks in sleight of hand, giving him +9ish, vs my +5 perception.

My DM let a rogue steal a powerful magic amulet under my plate mail from my elven meditation.

[HalfDragonCube]

My DM let a rogue steal a powerful magic amulet under my plate mail from my elven meditation.

What was the modifier against stealing that? A fairly optimised character can steal just about anything.

[hobbitkniver]

What was the modifier against stealing that? A fairly optimised character can steal just about anything.

She wasn't optimized, she was level 1 and everyone else was level 3 (LA). She had no special thieving items, just armor and weapons. She was being asked to do this by the enemy and she was allowed to because the DM doesn't write optional paths.

[Karoht]

I couldn't even comprehend how he could think that was reasonable.I mean, minus 10? For that? And, he just lets another player roll for me. Because I was quite literally, gone for 2, maybe 3 minutes. I'm in the right here, aren't I? If so, have you had any similar moments?

Edit: I should mention that the ranger had max ranks in sleight of hand, giving him +9ish, vs my +5 perception.I would say that rule of funny might come into play, and it might be an exceptable joke if you were to have say, spent a long time in the bathroom. But 3 minutes? That's kind of impatient of people.

Me personally, I would have made a crack about leaving your coin purse in your other pants anyway, and moved on. Or use my newfound nakedness to embarass the party or get them kicked out of some establishment.
(But nothing too spiteful or anything, again, rule of funny)

[Kojiro]

I would say that rule of funny might come into play, and it might be an exceptable joke if you were to have say, spent a long time in the bathroom. But 3 minutes? That's kind of impatient of people.

Me personally, I would have made a crack about leaving your coin purse in your other pants anyway, and moved on. Or use my newfound nakedness to embarass the party or get them kicked out of some establishment.
(But nothing too spiteful or anything, again, rule of funny)

"Oh my; if you wanted to see me without any clothes on, all you had to do was ask." And then you spend the rest of the session being creepy to him. They will never touch your clothes again.

Unless they happen to be into that kind of thing I suppose, in which case you may have just started a weird in-canon relationship based on theft and other forms of abuse. But hey, character development. (This is a joke.)

Edit: If you can do it in George Takei's voice that would be even better, although the chances of accidental seduction would increase tenfold.

[Karoht]

"Oh my; if you wanted to see me without any clothes on, all you had to do was ask." And then you spend the rest of the session being creepy to him. They will never touch your clothes again.

Unless they happen to be into that kind of thing I suppose, in which case you may have just started a weird in-canon relationship based on theft and other forms of abuse. But hey, character development. (This is a joke.)

Edit: If you can do it in George Takei's voice that would be even better, although the chances of accidental seduction would increase tenfold.
This post for the win. For reasons not simply related to the reference of George Takei, but for that also.

[noparlpf]

I've never wanted to smack a DM. Just other players. (For example, in one campaign the sneaky character (don't remember his exact class combination) tricked the elan psion (the party's strongest character, I'd say) into drinking a love potion, and she rolled a nat 1 on the save. The same character decided to start a fight with the party cleric.) The DMs in my group are usually very good, and if I ever disagree on something, I just let it go because a) it's just a game, and b) they're more experienced than I am (12-13 yrs and 4-6 yrs vs 1 year).

[Karoht]

We were casting Resurrection from a scroll. Time takes 10 minutes.
We were in a dungeon, we had literally cleaned it out from top to bottom save for one corridor. We were in a side room, with only one way in, and the rogue had set a bunch of traps.

DM decided to roll for random encounters. In the space of 10 minutes, we had 6 encounters, I have no idea how the DM came to that many.
At the end of the encounters, the Resurrection spell fails for some reason. Why?
Somehow, there were 7 encounters, not 6, one of which was a rogue who managed to sneak in and take the caster's spell components and spellbook. Don't ask me how this causes a scroll to fail.

So after some arguing about the scroll, said caster decides to use a cantrip. Summon Spellbook. DM rules it doesn't work because the book has been stolen. We all /facepalm at this point.

So we barracade the door completely, it's a stone room on all sides, the doorway has a ramp going down. Remember, down, not up.

So we get back to casting from the scroll. DM starts rolling random encounters, we shrug as nothing actually happens.
Suddenly, as 5 people stand around in a circle, not moving, and chanting something from a scroll, one of us somehow sets off a trap (the encounter/s). Iron bars drop down by the door (on the other side of our barracade somehow). Water begins pooring into the room.
We don't really care. The water has to run down the ramp, fill up whateve area is down there, and then rise up here.
DM retcons that the ramp runs up, not down.
So, the Wizard blows the barracade and the iron bars to bits with (a sonic fireball?) and we head that direction as the scroll finishes casting. Boom, our party member is up and alive again.
A stone slab falls into place at the doorway.

That was about the point the party got up and walked away from the table, and didn't come back until next week to decide what to do.

I get that it's the DM's game and all, but he was definately playing by a different set of rules than the PC's. All of the above was remarkably out of character for the DM. The campaign wrapped the week after much to everyone's unhappiness. A decently running campaign was destroyed in a matter of 1 hour of bad DMing, the ending of the campaign suffered as a result, and there was a bunch of bad blood with everyone.

[Curmudgeon]

Of course. I've wanted to smack many people in the hopes of getting them to pump more oxygen into their (clearly deprived) brains. The fact that I've refrained from doing so since I was a child in school says that I've gained wisdom over time, whether or (too frequently) not those around me have. :smallfrown: DMs aren't an exception to this general state of affairs.

[noparlpf]

Just stop wearing pants. Start wearing a kilt. If he takes that, go naked. I once knew a character who wore nothing but gloves of dex--the second one over his junk to avoid making the game worse than pg-13.

[NNescio]

Just stop wearing pants. Start wearing a kilt. If he takes that, go naked. I once knew a character who wore nothing but gloves of dex--the second one over his junk to avoid making the game worse than pg-13.

That must have been a rather... dexterous phallus.

[noparlpf]

That must have been a rather... dexterous phallus.

Well, if you really want that aspect of it, just be an anthropomorphic elephant. It's a racial trait.