[3.5] Badass Mule

[Thurbane]

Hey, just a random thought - what's some templates you could stack on a mule to make it scary in combat? I know, the CR increase will probably make it laughably underpowered for it's HD, but if it gets an INT boosting template (Spellwarped etc.) then it can start taking (non-associated) class levels...

This is for a comedy type encounter rather than any serious build.

Cheers - T

[kharmakazy]

Mule of Legend would be pretty funny.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Making it an animal companion would advance HD and grant it a number of abilities, including Improved Evasion...

I had a thread a few years ago 'pimp my dungeon mule'... the party I was GMing for had a dungeon mule that carried their stuff around in style...

[kharmakazy]

Mule of Legend gets like... DR 10, fast healing, spells, haste, a crap load of stuff with only a CR adjustment of +2 I think...

[ShriekingDrake]

Magebred and Warbeast

[Midnight_v]

Phrenic...
Man have you seen a movie named "the rite"? that was one scary mule. . .

[Dusk Eclipse]

Half (Shadow) Dragon, Half Fiend, Half Far-spawn Mule of legend FTW! (Ithink with proper temple stacking I believe it is RAW legal)

[OverdrivePrime]

Mule of Legend would be pretty funny.

And @ss of Legend named Shakira or Jay'lo would be pretty much epic. :smallbiggrin:

[Flickerdart]

And @ss of Legend named Shakira or Jay'lo would be pretty much epic. :smallbiggrin:
A mule is not an ass. But a badass ass (perhaps a badass ass assassin?) would be infinitely more amusing.

[kharmakazy]

Gargantuan Spellwarped Flame-Spawned Fiendish Dire Mule CR 8
Usually Neutral Evil Gargantuan Aberration
Init +3
AC 25 FF 22 Touch 9
(-4 size, +3 Dex , +16 natural)
HD: 5
HP: 72 (5d8+50)
Fort +14 Ref +7 Will +4
Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
Base Atk +3 Grp +30
Attack: hoove +14 1d8+15
Full Attack: 2 hooves +14 1d8+15
Space 20 ft. (4 squares) Reach 15 ft. (3 squares)
Abilities Str 40(+15) Dex 17(+3) Con 31(+10) Int 6(-2) Wis 11(+0) Cha 6(-2)
Total Feats: 2
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Skill Points: 8
Skills: Listen +4, Spot +4
Low-light vision(Ex):
scent(Ex):
Damage Reduction(Su): 5/magic
Darkvision(Ex): Darkvision up to 60ft.
Spell Resistance(Ex): 16
Smite good(Su): 1/day a fiendish creature can smite a good foe and add additional 5(1/HD) damage to the attack. If the smite is used against a foe that is not good it adds no additional damage but the smite is still used for the day.
Immunity to Fire(Ex): Immunity to Fire
Vulnerability to Cold(Ex): Creatures vulnerable to cold take half again as much (+50%) damage as normal from cold, regardless of whether the saving throw is allowed, or if the save is a success or failure.
Burn(Ex): Reflex save DC 22(+2 HD, +0 Racial, +10 Con, +0 Feat)
This creature deals 2d6 fire damage with any natural attack. Those hit must succeed on a Reflex save or catch fire. The flame burns for 1d4 rounds. A burning creature can take a move action to put out the flame. Creatures hitting a burning creature with natural weapons or unarmed attacks take fire damage the same as if being hit by the burning creature as above.
Fiery Aura(Ex): Fortitude save DC 22(+2 HD, +0 Racial, +10 Con, +0 Feat)
Anyone within 5 feet of a creature with fiery aura must succeed on a Fortitude save or take heat damage each round from the intense heat. The amount of damage equals the fire damage dealt by the creature's natural attack.
Spell Absorption(Su): Whenever a spell fails to penetrate a spellwarped creature's spell resistance, the creature gains one of the following benefits, chosen at the time that the spell resolves.
Might: The spellwarped creature gains +4 enhancement bonus to Strength for 1 minute.
Agility: The spellwarped creature gains +4 enhancement bonus to Dexterity for 1 minute.
Endurance: The spellwarped creature gains +4 enhancement bonus to Constitution for 1 minute.
Life: The spellwarped creature gains temporary hit points equal to 5X the level of the failed spell.
Speed: The spellwarped creature's base speed increases by a number of feat equal to 5X the level of the failed spell.
Resistance: The spellwarped creature gains resistance 10 to one energy type (acid, cold, electricity, fire, or sonic).
Advancement: By character class

Using the online monster advancer. No monster of legend in there, sadly.

[Gabe the Bard]

How about a Titanic 5-Headed Lernaen Mule?

[balistafreak]

A mule is not an ass. But a badass ass (perhaps a badass ass assassin?) would be infinitely more amusing.

What has been said, cannot be unsaid. :smallannoyed:

[big teej]

A mule is not an ass. But a badass ass (perhaps a badass ass assassin?) would be infinitely more amusing.

this monstrostity must be created immediately

[Hiro Protagonest]

How about a Titanic 5-Headed Lernaen Mule?

Plus legendary, paragon, and pseudonatural templates. Add half-dragon for five breath weapons and wings. If it's half-prismatic dragon and you take out the pseudonatural template, it's Tiamat!

[PollyOliver]

Plus legendary, paragon, and pseudonatural templates. Add half-dragon for five breath weapons and wings. If it's half-prismatic dragon and you take out the pseudonatural template, it's Tiamat!

If you leave in the pseudonatural template, it's Tiamat turned inside out!

(Blech. Bad brain.)

Also, I want to see the badass ass assassin immediately. Five minutes ago, as a matter of fact.

[Big Fau]

Fact: A Mule can kill Redgar.


I used to own a Redgar fig back when I played DnD minis. He was terrible stat-wise, on both sides of the card. A mule really can kill him.

[Morph Bark]

A few years ago there was a little contest going on on these forums to create the best, weirdest donkey of all. I don't have it in my favourites anymore though.

[Serpentine]

That would have been mine (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=59158). Poor donkeys, so undervalued :smallfrown:

[Morph Bark]

That would have been mine (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=59158). Poor donkeys, so undervalued :smallfrown:

I knew you were a part of it, but didn't remember you actually started it. :smallredface:

I also remember someone once posting a thread where he just slapped the Axiomatic Template on a Donkey and named the thread "The Perfect Ass". I have a feeling VT might have to do with that, but again, I can't remember.

[Keld Denar]

A mule is not an ass. But a badass ass (perhaps a badass ass assassin?) would be infinitely more amusing.

The bear crowd collectively groans at the thought of an ass pun thread...

[Cieyrin]

The bear crowd collectively groans at the thought of an ass pun thread...

Like the rest of the community doesn't groan whenever bear threads come up. It's a taste of our own medicine!

On topic, if we can make the mule dire, we can make it Horrid so it's even more ornery than usual. :smallbiggrin:

[some guy]

this monstrostity must be created immediately

Don't be assinine, we need an asssessment of it's capassity for badassery first.

[big teej]

Don't be assinine, we need an asssessment of it's capassity for badassery first.

that's what prototypes are for...

[Keld Denar]

I feel adrenaline rush
It's just the final touch
You can kiss your ass goodbye



Dungeonbred Advanced Mule9/Rogue1/PsionicAssassin6
Size/Type: Medium Animal (Advanced)
Hit Dice: 9d8+45 +6d6+30 (125)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 30 ft
Armor Class: 15 (+4 Dex, +1 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+15
Attack: Tentacle +11 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack: Unarmed Strike +11 melee (1d4+2), 2 hooves +9 melee (1d4+1), 2 tentacles +9 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Sneak attack (+4d6), Death Attack (DC19), Psionics
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent, Easy Maintenance, Hardy
Saves: Fort +12, Ref +15, Will +4
Str 14, Dex 18, Con 20, Int 16, Wis 11, Cha 6
Skills: Listen +4, Spot +4, Hide +23, Move Silent +23, Disguise +14, Tumble +17
Feats: Aberrant Blood, Inhuman Reach, Deepspawn, Improved Natural Attack(Hooves), Improved Natural Attack (Unarmed Strike), Improved Natural Attack (Tentacles), Improved Unarmed Strike, Practiced Manifester(Psionic Assassin), Multiattack
Environment: Your Nightmares
Organization: Evil League of Evil
CR: 6

Easy Maintenance (Ex): The ass-ass-assin consumes food and water as if it were a size smaller (small).

Hardy (Ex): The ass-ass-assin has a +2 racial bonus on saves against diseases and posions.

Sneak Attack: This is exactly like the rogue ability of the same name. The extra damage dealt increases by +1d6 every other level (1st, 3rd, 5th, 7th, and 9th). If an assassin gets a sneak attack bonus from another source the bonuses on damage stack.

Death Attack: If an assassin studies his victim for 3 rounds and then makes a sneak attack with a melee weapon that successfully deals damage, the sneak attack has the additional effect of possibly either paralyzing or killing the target (assassin’s choice). While studying the victim, the assassin can undertake other actions so long as his attention stays focused on the target and the target does not detect the assassin or recognize the assassin as an enemy. If the victim of such an attack fails a Fortitude save (DC 10 + the assassin’s class level + the assassin’s Int modifier) against the kill effect, she dies. If the saving throw fails against the paralysis effect, the victim is rendered helpless and unable to act for 1d6 rounds plus 1 round per level of the assassin. If the victim’s saving throw succeeds, the attack is just a normal sneak attack. Once the assassin has completed the 3 rounds of study, he must make the death attack within the next 3 rounds.
If a death attack is attempted and fails (the victim makes her save) or if the assassin does not launch the attack within 3 rounds of completing the study, 3 new rounds of study are required before he can attempt another death attack.

Poison Use: Assassins are trained in the use of poison and never risk accidentally poisoning themselves when applying poison to a blade.

Uncanny Dodge (Ex): Starting at 2nd level, an assassin retains his Dexterity bonus to AC (if any) regardless of being caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. (He still loses any Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized.)
If a character gains uncanny dodge from a second class the character automatically gains improved uncanny dodge (see below).

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex): At 5th level, an assassin can no longer be flanked, since he can react to opponents on opposite sides of him as easily as he can react to a single attacker. This defense denies rogues the ability to use flank attacks to sneak attack the assassin. The exception to this defense is that a rogue at least four levels higher than the assassin can flank him (and thus sneak attack him).
If a character gains uncanny dodge (see above) from a second class the character automatically gains improved uncanny dodge, and the levels from those classes stack to determine the minimum rogue level required to flank the character.

Psionics:
ML: 10
PP: 11 base + 15 bonus +5 location (31)

Powers Known:
Compression
Dimensional Pocket
Offensive Precognition
Psionic Knock
Psionic Levitate
Clairvoyant Sense

Equipment:
+6 Sombrero of Intellect
Earth Node (CPsionic)

It's Bad Horse's illigitimate son!

[Andorax]

Bah...lightweights. Pick up ye old copy of Dragon 289. Colossal-sized, 40+ HD Kaiju Mule with a bray that can stun everyone within 1,200' (Battle Roar/Thundrous Roar/Stunning Roar feats).

[TheNameIsDumas]

that's what prototypes are for...

Don't you mean proctotypes?

Once we get a few proctotype asses to assess, we can assimilate their most asstounding assets into one bad-ass ass!

Can an ass be created that's bad-ass enough to kick a gnome with enough force to blasst his ass to Uranus?

[Flame of Anor]

I'm going to try to step around the puns here and point out that a mule is already templated--it's a horse with a half-donkey template.

[Big Fau]

I'm going to try to step around the puns here and point out that a mule is already templated--it's a horse with a half-donkey template.

Yeah, but a half-assed template like that is the basis for this entire thread. Thanks for stating the obvious.

[Flame of Anor]

a half-assed template like that

Well, I wasn't going to say it... :smalltongue:

[Morph Bark]

I'm going to try to step around the puns here and point out that a mule is already templated--it's a horse with a half-donkey template.

Wouldn't it be a donkey with a half-horse template? :smallwink:

[Lapak]

Wouldn't it be a donkey with a half-horse template? :smallwink:Maybe a mule is one and a hinny is the other.

[Pika...]

Making it an animal companion would advance HD and grant it a number of abilities, including Improved Evasion...

I had a thread a few years ago 'pimp my dungeon mule'... the party I was GMing for had a dungeon mule that carried their stuff around in style...

That was you?

Do you still have a link? That was an amazing thread. :smallbiggrin:

[TheNameIsDumas]

http://i54.tinypic.com/k2jo08.jpg

[ShneekeyTheLost]

That was you?

Do you still have a link? That was an amazing thread. :smallbiggrin:

Sadly, it was posted well before the Great Purging of '09, and was lost. I still remember most of it, though...

Let's see... a Gold Tooth of Sustenance, so your dungeon mule doesn't starve to death on your journey... Horseshoes of Haste with the command word "NOS" and optional colored smoke exhaust... twin bulls-eye lanterns on the front of the pack saddle, both of them lit with Continual Flame, one of them a Lantern of Revealing... with custom decal and paint job.