Misspelled Spell [metamagic]

[Heliomance]

This potent metamagic allows you to change, add, or remove up to three letters in a spell's name, with appropriate results. The altered spell has effects appropriate to its new name. The Spellcraft DC to identify a Misspelled Spell is increased by 3 per changed letter, and will saves may be required to avoid bemusement.

Examples:

Power Word: Krill
Store of Vengeance
Create Food and Waiter
Weather Ball
Meatier Storm
Summon Nature's Alloy


Come up with your own!

[CigarPete]

Animate Pope
Feather Ball
Protection from Saw
Blurt
Phantom Seed
Blue Seeing
Crone
Mace
Soul Rind
Limited Fish
Fish

[TheCountAlucard]

What's the spell level adjustment? :smallconfused:

Gish and Limited Gish
Firball
Lightning Bunt

[blackjack217]

unlimited wish
wishes
Firewall

[Moriato]

All shall fall before the might of MORDENKAINEN'S LUBRICATION!

[Another_Poet]

Mind Tape
Stinking Clown
Clown Kill
Mage's Dysfunction
Shadow Abjuration
LOL of Force
Summon Monster MMM


And my personal favorite...
Respell Magic <- we already have an exploitable loophole to get around the "three letters" requirement!

[rgd20]

Heleport without Terror
Melf's acid Barrow
Gusset of Wind
Prismatic spay
Raise Bread
Tasha's Hideous Daughter
Remove verse
Secret Rage
Plow
Dominate Parson

[Another_Poet]

Prismatic spay


Too far! Too far!!

[aquaticrna]

celery
lightning stomp
all lightning
salmon monster x
transmute mud to gold
sweep
shape tusk
day of frost
control mind

[IthroZada]

Limiting myself to cantrips.
Detect Lotion
Date
Blight
Torch of Fatigue
Spending
Arcane Spark
Rending
Cage Hand
Ray of Rust
Acid Flash

[Moriato]

Protection From Eros (BoEF probably beat me to this one. Along with MILF's Acid Arrow)
Rage Armor
Geese, Lesser
Sea Invisibility
Magic Circle Against God
Power Word: Stan

[Ravens_cry]

Fry (Obvious.)
Firebrawl (Lights everyone on fire and makes them fight each other.)
Tragic Missile (Kill the target(s), leaving an orphan with a tragic backstory.)
Crease (Never iron again!)
Fall of Iron (The same as "wall of iron", overhead.)
Mage Gland (Gives someone the gland is implanted in the abilities of a Mage.)

[Psyren]

unlimited wish

Thread won

[Another_Poet]

Farm Person
Conflict Serious Wounds
Cymbal of Pain
Bestow Purse
Magic Circle against GM
S*itterdust

[Kumori]

Fat Grace
Dim's Wisdom
Bear's Insurance
Numb's Strength
Beagle's Splendor
Fish's Cunning
Otto's Irresistible Pants

[JaronK]

Sink Item (causes any object to sink rapidly, either out of the air or into water)
Explosive Runs (ew!)
Miner Creation (Creates a bunch of unseen servants with mining tools and appropriate skills)
Glitterbust (highlights certain attributes of attractive women nearby)
Maser Creation (destroys a target with a Maser beam)
Secret Mage (self only invisibility and silence)
Major Cretin (points out the fact that the Fighter is an uncivilized oaf)
Sore of the Gods (gives the target one heck of a rash)

...and let's just say I came up with an alteration of Evard's Black Tentacles that changed two letters in the last word to sound like a rather odd thing to do to someone...

JaronK

[Axinian]

Nominate Person
Demonic Enhancer
Dimension Floor
Remove Purse
Vampiric Lunch
Mind Grope
Lightning Butt Wow... I'm sorry for subjecting you guys to that...

[Kumori]

Polymorph All Objects

[Another_Poet]

Secrete Page
Speak with Pants

[subject42]

Irebolt <-- (Like firebolt, but it just makes the target really annoyed)

[Allanimal]

Produce blame
Produce shame
Create batter
Animate batter
Delay motion
summon mature Sally X
Horrible waste
Summon swamp
Matt's Space
Taste
Plow
Crease
Fizzmatic spray
Wall of clone

[IthroZada]

Cremate Walter
Avoidance

[Cruiser1]

You can get some powerful spells by just deleting characters:

Protection from God
Remove Seas
Fireall
Magic Miss
Greater Crying
Mom of Prescience
Lay Living

[rgd20]

Cone of Cod

[randomhero00]

Irebolt <-- (Like firebolt, but it just makes the target really annoyed)

Dude that's a real spell. I saw some fat kid with it. Haven't you seen him? The spell component is a pencil. :D
(for those that don't get it here's help: LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!)

Here's mine:
Hallucinatory LSD rain

[Telonius]

Massage
Bean
Eagle's Splinter
Blandishment
Hallucinatory Train
Create Greeter Undead
Summon Munster 1
Spectral Band
Power Word: Plain (useful for fast food orders)

[Kurald Galain]

Don't forget Trap The Sole, it's a classic.

[rgd20]

This one i came up with about 10 years ago...

Protection From Normal Mythals

[TurtleKing]

I have seen a spell/curse that already does this. It takes the Name of the Spell and either changes a few letters or read in a different way to produce a new effect. One of them is Summon Pants. Though I must say some of tghe ones you came up with have me crying from laughing.

[TroubleBrewing]

Shiving Touch (No need for a toothbrush, just use your hands!)
Tasha's Hideous Slaughter (:smalleek:)
Burning Lands (You too can be a member of the famous Mongolian Horde!)
Locate Cities (Now the Wightpocalypse is even MORE disruptive to campaigns...)
Grease Two (What? You said three letters.)

[mootoall]

Nice Assassin
Simulacrumbs
Grate
Planar Blinding
Apocolypse from the Ski
Magic Circle Against Weevils
Wrongstrider
Summon Nature's Phalli (Yes, it should be phalluses, but we'll cheat)
Legend Lord
Hide From Unread (For when you let your e-mail pile up)

[Ravens_cry]

You can get some powerful spells by just deleting characters:

Protection from God
Remove Seas
Fireall
Magic Miss
Greater Crying
Mom of Prescience
Lay Living
Magic Miss counters and dispels True Strike.
Irresistible Dunce (Sure, he's an idot, but he's adorable)
Tiny Hat (Put on your robe and (Tiny) wizard hat)
Colour Say (Everything you say is in rainbow text)

[IthroZada]

Summon Munster
Salmon Monster

[Moriato]

Delay Prison - No rogue should be without a scroll of this one.

Remove Cures - The bane of Clerics everywhere

Horrid Quilting - When is it not horrid?

Spider Limb - I can't decide if this should be a buff or OMG MY ARM IS SPIDERS

Flambé Strike - Bananas Foster has never been so deadly.

Plane Shaft - Can ya dig it?

[Another_Poet]

Beer Endurance
Bull's Length (?)
Arching Ray (ignores cover)
Limited Wash

[NeoSeraphi]

Shank (Blink)
Holymorph
Unholymorph
Win
Produce Person
Stutter
Deflect Magic
Protection from Wood

[subject42]

Spider Limb - I can't decide if this should be a buff or OMG MY ARM IS SPIDERS

I think that's actually a spell in the SpC.

[Ravens_cry]

Plane Shaft - Can ya dig it?
CAN. YOU. DIG. IT?

[Allanimal]

Bestidigitation?
Breastidigitation?
Aspect of the wtf?

[Keld Denar]

/thread (http://www.hahnlibrary.net/rpgs/101spells.html)

(a few are based on old 2nd ed spells, oh well)

My favorites were

Crass Suggestion
Bigby's Groping Hand
Delayed Blast Flatulence
Shocking Gasp!

[NeoSeraphi]

Globe of Master Invulnerability

[Dragonsoul]

Prismatic Ear (Hear? the rainbow)
Charm Toaster (Now it'll always be just right)
Mild *ank:smalleek:
Wall of Stoners duuuudee
Bear
Remove Bear
Night Mare
Find the Math
Fish
Limited Fish (Jesus is out of town)
Divine Flower

and for trapsmiths
Rolling Beholder Trap

[NeoSeraphi]

Prismatic Ear (Hear? the rainbow)
Charm Toaster (Now it'll always be just right)
Mild *ank:smalleek:
Wall of Stoners duuuudee
Bear
Remove Bear
Night Mare
Find the Math
Fish
Limited Fish (Jesus is out of town)
Divine Flower

and for trapsmiths
Rolling Beholder Trap

What, no Cause Bear?

[Ravens_cry]

What, no Cause Bear?
Cause Beer is better.

[Ivellius]

Some Bard spells:

Flair
Know Erection
Resist Ants

Cause Bear
Cause Beer
Cause Jeer (for all your heckling needs!)
Comprehend Languishes
Cold Fusion, Lesser
Detect Secret Horse
Disguise Elf
Magic Aria
Remove Bear
Remove Beer
Remove Jeer
Seep

Alter Elf
Animal Massager
Animal Dance
Calm Emoticons
Delay Psion
End Thrall (in case you really hate your followers)
Heroish (it's kind of like a buff)
Hypnotic Patter
Miss Erection
Summon Sam
Whispering Wine

Cold Fusion
Crushing Eclair
Need Lumber
Gaseous Farm
Gaseous Fort
Gibness
Phantom Seed
Sculpt Wound
Sepia Sake Sigil
Sow
Tiny Hutt

Detect Crying
Hallucinatory Terran
Scold Monster
Insecure Shelter
Repel Vernon
Speak with Pants
Phone of Silence

Face Vision
Mind Hog
Misread (how you get all of these spells)
Shadow Walrus
Mass Ingestion

Analyze Dome
Animate Insects
Heroes' Beast
Heroes' Fear
Heroes' Bear
Irresistible Pants
Pathetic Vibration
Find the Math

[Moriato]

Unfamiliar Pocket - I learn something new about this robe every day!

Scratching Ray - Ow, quit it!

Disrobe Undead - Ew

Butter Breathing - Hey.. you never know when you might need it.

Mime Rape - ... I can think of several ways to interpret this... they're all horrifying and none of them have a verbal component.

[NeoSeraphi]

Magic Aria should be a real bard spell anyway.

Summon Mature Ally
Bite of the Were Hat
Floating Face
Enhance His Shape
Hideous Daughter
Irresistible Wine
Wives
Limited Wives

[Dragonsoul]

Bear Ends Dance - For when you roll a natural 1 on that Perform Check
Mass Bear Ends Dance- Messy
Divine Flavour- mmm tastes like Pelor
Hollow
Unhollow:confused:
Heel- Down Boy! Down!
Eagles Lender- 14.5% APR
Chain Lighting- Pefect for Christmas
Dimensional Sock- Usually needs to be Twinned to be any use.
Symbol of InanityCourtesy of Fox

[ericgrau]

What's the spell level adjustment? :smallconfused:
Misspelled spells require a bevel adjustment of 45 degrees. In a perplexed manner you tilt your head as you give the incantation and tilt your hands as you make somatic gestures.

[Lateral]

Mental Pinochle, perhaps? Leomund's Whiny Hut? Symbol of Inanity? Disimmigrate? Pass without Face? Move Erf? Solid Snake Sigil? Maize? Poisson? Shadow Conjugation? Remove Purse? Make Hole? Rhyme Stop? Transport via Pants?

[GFawkes]

Feather Wall
Tireball
Learning Hands
Lightning Dolt
Wired (Weird)
Phantasmal Thriller

[ericgrau]

Phantasmal Thriller
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VNEEXES6L._SL500_AA300_.jpg?

Protection from Weevils
Protection from Sparrows
Make Hole
Stalone Shape (a.k.a. Flesh to Stalone)
Modify Mammary
Pre-study agitation
Cause Smear
Wall of Lice

[GFawkes]

Meteor Dorm
Power Word: Sun
Cymbal of Insanity

[Ravens_cry]

Misspelled spells require a bevel adjustment of 45 degrees. In a perplexed manner you tilt your head as you give the incantation and tilt your hands as you make somatic gestures.
Jokes aside, it is a +2 adjustment. And is completely fracking broken.

[Moriato]

...and let's just say I came up with an alteration of Evard's Black Tentacles that changed two letters in the last word to sound like a rather odd thing to do to someone...

JaronK

Sounds like someone's going to need a casting of Ball Lightening to take care of that.

[acid_ninja]

Stoner Shape (turns you into Tommy Chong)
Planar Whining
Protection from Chavs (that may be a bit English)
Imbue with Sell Ability (for telemarketers)
Invisibility Urge
Wall of Irony
Insect Plaque
Grasping Band (I’m looking at you, Metallica)
Divine Flavor
Would Shape (but I won’t)

And, my favourite:

Unseen Pervert

[erikun]

Show Conjuration
Show Evocation
Shade (for when you must get out of the sun with a 9th level spell)

[[CLASSIFIED]]

Mind the Gap
Sonic Spam
Summon Muenster I (I know, that one's cheesy:smallsmile:)
Ray of Toast

[acid_ninja]

Inflict Serious Pounds (Countered and dispelled by Discern Diet)

Locate Projects (where is the hood, anyway?)

[Acanous]

Win War
Sparkness
Homoism
Throne
Vortex of Breath
Power word Skill
Narm
Convict Serious Wounds
Plane Binding

[erikun]

Technically won't work, but: Otiluke's Freezing Pear

[acid_ninja]

Protection from Elvis

I find this way too funny

[Brendan]

Celebrity
Celibacy
smush
Symbol of Chair
Symbol of Chris
Secret cheese
Girthquake
Summit Monster (am I the only one who wanted to climb up a tarrasque's back and plant a flag?)

[acid_ninja]

Nundetection

Solid Fugly

Entropic Shed

[Necroticplague]

Rape Trick

Atone Mint

Desu Crate

Barkingskin

Lack Tentacles

Black Pentacles

Bliss

Clock of Chaos

Bare Endurance

Blast Phlegm

Clam Animals

Quenched Fist

Coin Fusion

Control Unclad

Purse water

Dorkness

Delay Last Fireball

Distraction

De-man

Detect lols

Detest Magic

Dimensional Sock

Discern Eyes

Detect Crying

Disruptive Weaponry

Eagle Spender

Enduring Elements

Mental Swarm

Tropic shield

[ericgrau]

3 letters, eh?
Protection from Orcus (chaos)

[AppleChips]

Wind Log
Symbol of Bear
Zeroism
Bigby's Rasping Band
Control Undies
Cat's Face
Shadow Balk
Wall of Lice
Bestow Purse (used mainly by quest npcs)
Acid Frog
Lime Stop
Air Talk
Hollow
Antifife Shell
Smeagle's Splendor
This is too fun..

Protection from Orcus doesn't work.. You're removing the cha (3 letters) and adding rcu (3 letters). Thats 6. Whatever

[blackjack217]

Protection from mom
Protection from Dad
Protection from Car
Protection from air
Protection from nom

[Iruka]

Power Word: Fun

Nicebeam

Orb of Placid
Orb of Mild
Orb of Fun
Orb of Horse
Orb of Sand
Orb of Selectivity

[AppleChips]

Bigby's Clenched Cyst
Bigby's Flushing Hand
Disguise Elf
Time Cop!
Detect Prison
Cure Mounds
Godberry King of the Juice
Eat Metal
Grant Vermin
Bansheement
Invisibility Surge
Delay Poi
Nystul's Magic Air
Gyrotechnics
Char Monster
Silent Mage

[Skaven]

Barkspin
Explosive Prunes
Expeditious Treat
Magic Thing
Alter Melf
Antacid Fog
Pass Will
Fowls Wisdom
Stone to Flash
Stonecape
Remove Ear
Rope Rick
Lightning Revolt
Divine Cower
Longspider
Deeper Dorkness
Haste>Waste or Paste

[Iruka]

Godberry King of the Juice

very nice :smallbiggrin:

[otakuryoga]

Wall of Scones---almost as tough as the original and in a pinch can feed a starving village
----------------------------------------------------------------------

o dear me, its raining and i have all these scrolls i need to get across the courtyard....what to do

/cast Hall of Stone

yay now i can get to the next building and keep my scrolls and clothing dry
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Evil Overlords, have you ever found your plans being disrupted by a scraggly looking old man standing in the passageway holding a staff yelling "you shall not pass!!"?

just cast the handy dandy patented Passhall spell and continue on your campaign of terror

[ericgrau]

Protection from Orcus doesn't work.. You're removing the cha (3 letters) and adding rcu (3 letters). Thats 6
Very well I'll have to settle for
Clutch an Orcus (Clutch of Orcus)

[AppleChips]

Clutch of Orcas!

Ah, so many have been done by now, I'm afraid whatever I say is a repeat. but
Detect Dead
Methwatch
Reserrection
Grade Spell Immunity
Dimensional Spock
Bowel's Wisdom
True Peeing
Discern Pies
Water Bathing
Stone Ape
Creeper Darkness
Animate Head
Zone of Ruth

[HunterOfJello]

This would be better as a type of Counterspell. If you can identify the spell being cast at you, you can change its name by up to 3 letters. This changes the effect of the spell.

[Zaq]

Invisibilitree
Shivering Tough
Defenestrating Spare
Create Undude
Tasha's Hideous Slaughter
Lesion of Sentinels (eww)
Stare
Remove Pear
Otto's Resistible Dance
Repair Light Fromage
Embrace/Shun the Duck Chaos
Sirene's Grasp
Dark Why
Deflect Magic
Wands of Flurry (partially charged, natch)
Blade of Pain and Bear
Fur Shuriken
Bait of the Werebear
Stonescan
Create Blood and Water
Minor Recreation
Wings of Lover
Gust of Sand
Hail of the Banshee
Clatterdust
Chuul's Laugh

[Noblesse]

Power Word: BIND
Animate Dads
Haze
Blow
Blame Arrow
Harm Monster
Lice Storm/Wall of Lice
Telepathic Blonde
Hold Munsters



Black Tentacles....

[HunterOfJello]

Pull Strength
Beer's Endurance
Beagle's Splendor
Bowl's Wisdom

Alter Smurf

Congestion (suggestion)
Mass Congestion
Invisiblity Spores
Bold Person
Persistent Mage
Find the Bath
Otto's Irresistible Dame
Planet Ally (i.e. Summon friendly planet)

Greater Restitution
Animal Shaper
Dispel Lawn
Dispel Food
Blaspheme (make an enemy spellcaster Blaspheme against their own god)
Barnacle (i.e. Miracle)

[Shadowknight12]

All shall fall before the might of MORDENKAINEN'S LUBRICATION!

Perfect delivery, perfect change, perfect double entendre. 10.0!


Shocking Gasp!

I giggled like a child.


Know Erection

Seep

Miss Erection

FYI, these are becoming part of my next campaign.


Mime Rape - ... I can think of several ways to interpret this... they're all horrifying and none of them have a verbal component.

Most hilarious [Evil] spell ever. Bar none.


Rape Trick

Second most hilarious [Evil] spell ever.

Now, my turn. Let us book those exalted deeds!

Sanctified Spells

Twilight Duck.
Divine Perspiration.
Ayailla's Radiant Breast.
Celestial Aztec.
Sassmantle.
Diamond Stay. Staaaay. Staaaaaaaaay.
Sick'em, Evil.
Exalted Rainman.
Valiant Seed.
Storm of Lard.
Constricting Loins.
Rain of Embryos. I am so sorry.
Exalted Furry.
Sanctify the Wickers.

Bard!

Ray of Whore.
Erection.
Finding Beauty.
Dolorous Votes.
Heaven's Strumpet.

Cleric!

Fission of Heaven.
Grease Gain.
Heart's Grease.
Inspired Maim.
Whore of Conscience.
Seduce Corpse.
Lunch of Adamantine.
Righteous Hare.
Righteous Smile.
Shield of the Accordions.

More to come!

[Kalirren]

Incontinency (from Contingency)
Distraction (from Destruction)
Disguise As Elf
Dimensional Locker
Holy Portal (for Solars, of course!)
Inspirational Rooster
Lich Storm
Legend Lure
Warden of Chaos
Shadow Whale
Zip Fly

[ffone]

Lightning Butt


"...and if he (William Wallace) were here, he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arsse..."

[Delcor]

Otyugh Ham
Power Word: Spill
Scorching Prey
Blurb
Smeagol's Splendor :smallbiggrin: http://www.bloggingtheologically.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/smeagol1.jpg
Magic Bang

[Telonius]

Here's one for Tolkien literary critics:
Analyze Eomer!

[Merk]

Greater Magic Weeaboo (There's your Weeaboo Fightan' Magic.)

[Telonius]

Enlarge Parson
Enlarge Parson, Mass (for use during the service)
Beer's Endurance
Protect Image (for the charismatic mage worried about his reputation)
Detect Poisson (when you need to know where the fish are)
Magic Bar (The booze is magic!)
Good Dope (...can't remember what I was gonna say for this one...)
Gourds and Wards (Defend that pumpkin at all costs.)
Control Vader (Enough of this! Vader, release him!)

[NNescio]

Summon Mobster I~IX

[AppleChips]

Power Word: Cool
Revenerate
Antiwife Shell
Hold Danimals
Chaos Hummer
Protection from 'slaw
Communist with Nature
Whale of the Banshee
Spike Stoners
Protection from Energetic
Moment of SCIENCE
Purify Wood and Mink
Detect Tragic
Relay Poison
Fire Map
Magic Wang
Tree Ride
Animal Meowth
Animal Growlith
Wench
Remove Unease
Feet Storm
Meld into Stoner
Find Mall
Lobe of Vulnerability
Vampire Touche
Nondetective
Explosive Rooms
Fox's Punning
Leomund's Rap
Litter-must
Tree Strike
Unseen Savant
Old Mortal
Eat Magic

[Drelua]

Flaccid Arrow
Magic Weapon Greeter
Malign Weapon
Order's Math
Death Kill (Immortality!)
Aids
Sactuary (contraceptive)
Death War
Animate Bed
Insect Page (Plague)
Heal Ass
True Erection (4 letters, but I had to say it)
Detect Poise
Soften Earth and Boner/Flesh to Boner
Boner's Endurance
Flame Bladder
Wood Shape (funny enough as is)
Mage Band
Floating D*ck
Magic Wap(probably the same, but more fun to say)
Arcane...Can I say that here? Better say Lock.

[acid_ninja]

Vampiric Douche
Disrupt Dad
Divine Pooer
Contact Otter Plane
Changestuff
Shrill Metal (I'm looking at you Dave Mustaine)
Stocking Grasp (On Santa's spell list)
Massage Arcana
Mark of Juice
Play Living
Praise Ed
Clownkill

[Ravens_cry]

Summon Mobster I~IX
Dats a nice lookin' spell book ya gots dere, shame if somethin' happned to dat.:smallamused:

[Kalaska'Agathas]

Summon Money I-IX
Wall/Orb of Farce
(Limited) Whisk
Hall of Stone/(the) Force/etc.
Control Pleather
Flesh to Gestalt
Silent Mage
Summon Potter I-IX
Dispose Self
Dispose Elf
Snipers, Shoot!
Altar Self
Plane Thrift
Otto's Irresistible Dancing
Speak With Lead

[HunterOfJello]

SpC time

Heavenly Toast
Massage of the Deity
Greater Massage of the Deity
Heat Brain
Abysmal Army
Hunters of Shade
Planar Boggle

Spoon Bolt

I'm not very good at this :smallfrown:

[NNescio]

Dats a nice lookin' spell book ya gots dere, shame if somethin' happned to dat.:smallamused:

Protection from the Law
Detect Lawyer
Dispel Lawsuit
Hold Mobster
Charming Mobster
Dominant Mobster
Dictate

[ericgrau]

Summon Mobster I~IX
It's a powerful spell but the drawback is when the mobster summons you later for its return favor. EDIT: ^ Oh, don't forget your hold mobster lol.

[Derjuin]

Apathy
Shield of Fat
Molar Ray
Dice Storm
Horrid Jilting
Daynight
Divine Flavor
Divine Mower
Keen Wedge
Legend Bore
Hogstrider
Reduce Humanimal (you probably don't want to know)
Transmute Rock to Spud
True Insurrection
Trap the Mole
Unseen Pervert :smalleek:
Vampiric Slouch
Fission
Wall of Horses
Punbeam
Order's Bath
Nightfare (great for midnight munchies)
Horseful Hand
Make Whale
Arcane Slight
Gasphemy
Blade Harrier
Dress Weapon
Interposing Ham
Wave of Beef
Curse of Impending Plates
Cloak Stool
Bonecuddle
Entice Golf
Know Invulnerabilities
Revile
Sonorous Hump
Shadow Cash
Smoochlink
Unlick
Cerebration
Stone Sitter
Divine Snackrifice
Blade of Pain and Ears
Curse of Swill Fortune
Summon Fundead I-V
Lassie Vigor
Pea Invisibility
Conduction
Dispel Bard
Rave Strike
Ice Bundtlet
Iron Butts
Pinky Clod
Smell the Greatest Foe
Knight's Groove
Rejuvenative Crops
Sassy Spell Resistance
Dejection
Greater Consumptive Friend
Blood to Walter
Heathenly Host
Bile Breath
Hellish Fjord
Awaken Contract
Abyssal Farm
Planar Cuddle
Ass Restoration
Bodak's Dare
Heat Grain
Suspect of the Woof
Baby Slime

Epic:

Ensalve
Eternal Beerdom
Greater Spell Insistence
Animal Blast
Epic Fake Armor
Mass Hog
Dummy Bust

Okay, I think I spent way too much time going through that. Hopefully there's no copies from earlier in the thread...

[Malimar]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ecGzX3nWMjI/Tbx-w2i106I/AAAAAAAABZQ/mYmpU8IYST4/s1600/cat-cats-kitten-kitty-pic-picture-funny-lolcat-cute-fun-lovely-photo-images-i-love-this-thread-so-much.jpg

Also, from the Spell Compendium:

Acid Stork
Alter Shelf
Braid
Mass Braid
Hair Breathing
Amorphous Fork
Animated Show
Animate Woof
Art of Lightning
Backwash
Blast of Forks
Bran Spider
Buzzing Beef
Close Sounds
Crowd of Bewilderment
Crutch of Orcus
Cord Snip
Cone of Dampness
Grumble
Darn
Electric Goop
Mind the Gap
Frieze
Lardening
Heal Drain
Heavenly Toast
Rice Axe/Claw/Dagger/Flowers/Gauntlet/Knife/Lance
Illusory Fist
Life Wart
Omen of Puerile
Orb of Forks
Plague of Rasts
Disrobe Thoughts
Raging Flamer
Ray of Lint
Red Tilde
Revilify
Yikes
Slim
Vile Breath
Wall of Bears

[oball]

Rope Prick

Power Word: Bling

Perverse Gravity

Pass Without Grace

Ethereal Taunt

Transmute Metal To Wool

[navar100]

Heel (Force creatures to come to you)
Pure Light Wounds (A ray attack of light that does damage)
Bliss (Makes someone aroused)
Commend (Gives a +1 morale bonus to everything by complimenting someone for one round)
Hole Aura (Suppresses a creature's aura or spell emanation)

[noparlpf]

What's the spell level adjustment? :smallconfused:

Gish and Limited Gish
Firball
Lightning Bunt

Furball. Two letters changed/removed. Turns all targets in the area of effect into Tribbles.

[Zanzanar]

Create Fred and Walter
Mirage Airplana
Slap Living
Forcecap
Pass Without Braces
Illusory Mall
Thongstrider

[Groverfield]

There's Astral anything, which is three letters from being trade chat fodder

Clone > Clooney
Creater Greater Undead > Creater Greater Unleaded
Symbol of Death > Cymbol of Beth
Iron Body > Iron Buoy
Shades > Shades (YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)
Horrid Wilting > Horrid Writing

It's much more challenging to find good spoonerisms in spell names
Fire Shield > Shire Field

[Chess435]

All shall fall before the might of MORDENKAINEN'S LUBRICATION!

Because everyone knows that Grease is just a stopgap measure. :smallwink: (Mega-cookie for obscure reference.)

[Werekat]

From the PHB II and not only, courtesy of myself and Fearan:

Familiar Rocket
Share Parents
Shave Talents
Blade Bothers
Slay the Hand
Lay the Hand
Crown of Fails
Master's Couch
Master's Ouch
Ray of the Kython
Retch Weapon
Salt
Bolt
Phantom Prattle
Failful Blink
Healing Spit
Sunder Field
Dance of Spades
Friend to Shoe
Arouse
Inevitable De-feet
Black Karma Purse
Cloud of Chives
Scare Talents
Bark of Doom
Plaque
Pulse of Bait
Righteous Wurst
Licked Perception
As the Cost
Strand
Animalistic Lover
Dimension Flop
Sure Shrike
Doom Scraps
Energy Surgery
Meteoric Shrike
Crown of Charity
Burning Page
Dispelling Couch
Kelgore's Gravelly Mist
Slasher Dispel
Prismatic Fist
Prismatic Miss
Prismatic Kiss
Dimension Waffle
Dragonscape

[Treblain]

Some SpC ones:

Sniper's ****: ewwwww...
Sniper's Dye: black, for bonus to Hide?
Targeting Roy :roy:
Sting Roy:roy:
Roy Deflection: Xykon should pick these up.
Find the GOP: useful in politics
Crabtalk: talk like a crab
Inspirational Goose: +1 to Inspire Birds?
Songbard: well, duh!
Snow Opponent
Vine Protection
Antidragon Aria
Mook Manifest: redundant with Summon Monster?
Consumptive Fred
Knight's Groove
Curse of Swell Fortune: Cursed with Awesome!
Death Throws: DEATH throws something at you.
Stony Gasp
Diamondsteal: As demonstrated here (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0649.html).

[navar100]

Animate Deed (Cast upon a written contract, signatories are magically bound to follow the contract. Failure to do so results in bad things happening.)
Crate Undead (Creates a dimensional pocket within an undead creature similar to a bag of holding. Size of pocket is dependent upon caster level.)
Lightning Colt (Cast upon your Animal Companion or Bonded Mount, all of the creature's attacks deal +1d6 electricity damage.)
Horrid Waltzing (Target bard must save or can't use bardic music.)
Prismatic Pray (At least two clerics must cast this spell. all clerics must be of different faiths. Another spell they have prepared is also cast. The caster level is based upon the highest cleric +1 per other cleric. DC of the spell if any increases +1 per 2 clerics.)

[Blisstake]

Tasha's Hideous Slaughter (:smalleek:)

For some reason this made me laugh so long...

Anyway...

Mice Assassins

[Necroticplague]

Prismatic Prey (summons a creature that all animals feel compelled to eat, using swallow whole if the have it)

[NNescio]

Tasha's Hideous Daughter - Target must make a Will and a Ref save or be forcefully married.
Marriage Arcana - Related to above.
Magic Muscle - Who cares if you have low Charisma?
Webb - Summons a hardboiled detective. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragnet_%28series%29)
Pass without Aces - Lets you pass an exam, but you can't get any A's.
Delay Poisson - Makes a certain professor late for your exam.
Poisson - Will save or target automatically fails skill checks on a Natural 1 for the duration of this spell.
Neutralize Poisson - Lets you Take 20 even if there are penalties for failure.

[Necroticplague]

Hideous Slaughter(Hideous Laughter)

Warp Food ( Warp Wood)

Wall of Porn (Wall of Thorns)

Holy Blight (Unholy Blight)

Unholy Flight (Unholy Blight)

Reverse Gravy (Reverse Gravity)

Repel Food (repel wood)

Roy of frost (Ray of frost)

Temporal Status (Temporal Stasis)

Fire Weed (Fire Seeds)

Direction (Misdirection)

Lead (Mislead)

Miner Image (Minor Image)

Shamble (shambler)

[OracleofWuffing]

Prestodigitation (as Prestidigitation, but at 168-200 bpm)
Monut (apparently summons a mud donut)
Floating Desk
Floating Dusk
Magic .ORA
Gauze Fear
Chili Touch
E-Race
Feather Fail
Protection From Errors (Useful for combating other Misspelled Spellcasters)
Tase Monster
Scorching Roy :roy:
Flamings Fear
Ghost of Wind
Fan's Tom Trap
Mage Armoire (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/07/29/episode-178-a-little-bit-of-confusion/)
Lighting Blot
Win Wail
Gentle Repurpose
Sink Item
Wall of Eyes
Stone's Ape
Contact Other Plain
Magic Bar
Magic Car
Magic Far
Magic Har
Magic Are
Magic .RAR
Magic Tar
Magic Star
Magic Spar
Magic Scar
Magic Yar
Raves of Fatigue
Dames of Fatigue
Transmute Rock to HUD
Hermanency
Guards and Lards
Guards and Words
Guards and Lords
Cycle of Death
Circle of Breath
Eyepike
Power Word: Blonde
Stat You
Sintillating Pattern
Horrid Writing
Meteors, Warm
Time Spot

[Saintheart]

Sow --> Plants you into the ground.
Hate --> Haterz gonna hate. Now so's the party.
False Wife
Eraser --> Summons Arnie with dual-wielded railguns
P*sswall --> A faintly acid-smelling, yellow wall of liquid appears.
Heroin
Reduce Flame
Time Start
Wed --> more potent, longer lasting, and arguably more damaging than the Web spell. Effects stack with Tasha's Hideous Daughter mentioned above.
Summon Mother --> applying the metamagic In Laws to this renders this an even more terrifying spell.
Verveskitter --> For all those who disliked Bitter Sweet Symphony.
Righteous Slight --> When the Pope mildly insults you.
Divine Tower
Faerie f*** --> Actually, for this one I was referring to an expulsion of methane, but this works too.
Conflation --> (from Conviction). Forces you to make logical debating errors.
Raise The Dead --> referring to the Grateful Dead, of course.
Praise Dead --> Also known as "Eulogy".
Cane Light Wounds
Call Serious Wounds --> "ooo, 'e won't be gettin' oop from tha' in a hurry, Jimmy!"
Insect Prague
Antiwife Shell --> Dispels Wed.
Cheese --> from Grease. Complies with RAW. Possibly the most important level 1 spell you will ever learn as an optimiser. :smallbiggrin:
Healing Girlcall --> holy booty, Batman! Attempts to combine with Wed dispel both effects.
Spider Lamb
Shoutout --> Monty Python variant is particularly popular
Larder's Wrath
Bowl's Wisdom
Remove Earth
Sam Fox's Cunning
Flares --> -10 to CHA-based checks.
Find the Math
Remove Pear
Ear
Barfly
Blink 182

[Flame of Anor]

Bigby's Farceful Hound (hellooo Disney!)
Hayknight (this conjured warrior can be defeated with a single match--er, tindertwig)
Hypnotic Slattern ("You are getting very sleepy...go to bed with me...")
Locate Pity (can be turned into a very disturbing sort of bomb)
Mini Rape ("It was awful...he stripped off my paint and touched me on the bare pewter")
Mordenkainen's Magnificent ANSI (material components completely standardized and interchangeable!)
Reduce Pears (what is there to say?)
Submerge Slut (an occasional medieval punishment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cucking_stool#Ducking-stools) for prostitution)

[Malimar]

Just one more from me for now:

Apocalypse From The Sty

[Axinian]

"Pardon me sir, do you have some Magic Poupon?"


Magic Weapon

[CockroachTeaParty]

Ham of Force
Orb of Flacid
Bee of Fire
Tea of Acid
Arf of Electricity
Boo of Sound

[Necroticplague]

Blue (blur)
Chill Torch (chill touch)
Gripness (glibness)
Gust of Wine (gust of wind)
Crease (grease)
ghost hound (ghost sound)

[Keithicus]

(If I name one someone else did my apologies)

Massage
Arcane Monk
Harm Portal
Toon Strike
Sheep
Animate Soap
Cause Deer
Deduce Person
Slur
Magic Tooth
False Lime
Spectral Hams
Steer Storm
Mold Person
Summon Monster LXV
Word Wall
Salt Undead

[kabreras]

Furball : Ever got an angry cat runing for your face ?

[Re'ozul]

Cantrips with 1 change for now: I apologize in advance for any that were mentioned before

Reed Magic
Detect Prison
Detect Manic
Doze
Lanzing Lights, Dancing Wights
Glare,Blare,Flame
Wight,Fight,Might
Day of Frost, May of Frost (depends on Month), Rat of Frost
Ghast Sound, Ghost Found
Torch of Fatigue
Mace Hand, Mage Hind, Mage Band, Mage Sand
Sending, Bending, Vending
Massage
Oven/Close, Open/Clone
Arcane Bark, Arcane Dark, Arcane Murk, Arcane Mask, Arcane Mars

Create Tater, Create Wafer

[Addi]

Spoon Blade
Spoonbeat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y)
Acid Noob
Moonwalk
Mordenkainen's Private Santa
Protection from Goose
Moment of Charity
Mild Grape
Mess Sage
Amaze
WoW Wisdom
Reduce son
Inflict serious sounds
Major Mage
Male Hand
Ork of Acid

Sorry if some of them were mentioned before.

[Pokonic]

Ray of Faust

Ability Shift

Fang Shaft ( Dont fall down it!)

Handshive ( For the rouge on the go.)

Lozenges Breath

Lava Sash

Razorflails

Trail Removal

Venom Jolt

Venompire ( Snake vampire?)

Pearl of Fangs

[Careless]

Commute
Greeter's Planar Binding (I picture walmart greeters using a pentagram to summon their manager, to beg for raises.)
Geese/...Nest?
Beard
Phantastic Killer (It sounds right!)
Disturb alignment (for that last little nudge to make that paladin fall)

[Pokonic]

First SK, now the book of exalted deeds!

Armagoudan

Blessed Fight

Blinding Duty (...Huh)

Chaves Laugh

Convert Pond

Crown of Blame

Curtain of Blight

Oh, and Power Word: Narm

Diamond Fray

Distilled Boy (Tasty.)

Dragon Mound

Erase Pain

Emerald Bust

End to Life ( Also known as FATAL.)

Energize Motion

Exalted Rain Man ( Best PC concept ever.)

Glory to the Barter

Healing Much

Heavenly Blighting

Inspired Blaime

Leonals Bore

Lastais Morasse

Mind Blond ( 2d10 wisdom damage)

Rain of Members

Improve Addiction

Restore Souls Measure

Righteous Mare

Righteous Hight

Silvered Maws

Telepathy lock

Tomb of Blight

Wages of Jin

Winged Gout

Joke of Mercy ( Its so bad they will be begging for you you to stop!)

[EldritchArisano]

Power word: SATAN

that is all

[nedz]

Firebalm
Power Chord Kill
Eagle Blender
Pope Trick
Stoneskim
Control Feather
Plain Shift
Alter Belt
Ethereal Aunt

Thread Necromancy

[AuraTwilight]

http://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/Misspell_%283.5e_Spell%29

Relevant.

[QuidEst]

Power Word: Pun (OP prepared it this morning.)

Tragic Missile (Can Bards cast it?)

Unseen Sevant (Great for cheating on tests!)

Defect Charm (It makes you think that the target is your friend.)

Defect Magic (It only exists to make you provoke for casting it.)

Harm Person (Cutting to the chase.)

Breed (Gosh darnit, I need a Timid Eevee! Get in there, Ditto!)

Grue Strike (Better cast Darkness first.)

Dorkiness (It's the first thing I cast any time I play my Wizard.)

Sheep (It's like Baleful Polymorph, but with a low-level HD cap.)

Disguise Elf (We'll put him in a science-fiction show, and call him a 'Vulcan'.)

Ironic Body (It's like Baleful Polymorph, but afterwards everybody argues over whether or not turning a misogynistic Barbarian into a little girl is ironic or not.)

Alter Wands (Okay, that one sounds kind of fun…)

Enrage Person (Yo' momma's so fat, she got stuck in a Dimension Door!)

Summon Smarm (Hey there. Ladies.)

Summon Monster SIX (Worst use of this metamagic.)

Forcesight (To detect Jedi.)

Smellbane (Focus: a skunk.)

Protection from Smells (Focus: a clothespin)

Mage's Injunction (When Wizards of the Coast gives a cease-and-desist.)

Tarp the Soul (Just in case you were worried about somebody getting a wet soul.)

Reverse Gravy (For when you didn't stop pouring soon enough.)

Arcane Canon (Counters Harry Potter crack pairings.)

Pain Strike, Math (Man, that calculus exam really hurt.)

Telepathic Blonde (Probably a succubus in disguise.)

Mind Flog (Probably about as good a description as the original spell.)

Ebonic Enhancer (So you can sound like you're from the hood.)

[A_S]

Luminous Asses (also, Greater Luminous Asses) (Do you have any pants that are...thicker?)

Leather Balls (No need for that codpiece!)

Apocalypse from the Dog (No, you clean it up.)

Animate Bro (Sup, brah. Braaaaaaains.)

[GreenSerpent]

Raise Thread.

[Sith_Happens]

Raise Thread.

Animate Thread, actually. Either way, I imagine a mod will be here soon to cast Halt Thread.

[PlusSixPelican]

Animate Grapes (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/animate-rope)

Animate Drapes (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/animate-rope)

Power Word Fun (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/p/power-word-stun) (Forces people to be enjoyable to be around.)

Power Word Done (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/p/power-word-stun) (Lets you walk away from unfinished tasks.)

Animate Bread (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/animate-dead)

Maddow Conjuration (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/s/shadow-conjuration) (Summon Rachel Maddows.)

Waste (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/h/haste) (Be inefficient)

Pope Trick (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/r/rope-trick)

Wall of Nice (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/wall-of-ice) (Protects you from rudeness.)

Wall of Wire (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/wall-of-fire) (Not only is it good for protecting you, it protects from people who don't stop talking about The Wire.)

Wall of Porn (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/wall-of-thorns) (Conjures a wood-and-paper wall with erotic images, Will save or blush and be useless for a round.)

Wall of Irons (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/wall-of-iron) (A wall made entirely out of Jeremy Irons)

Harm Person (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/c/charm-person)

Conjure Nice Beast (http://dndtools.eu/spells/frostburn--68/conjure-ice-beast-i--1238/)

Delusional Bride (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/d/delusional-pride)

Polypurpose Pancake (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/p/polypurpose-panacea) (This is one useful pancake.)

Protection from Energon (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/p/protection-from-energy) (Curse you, Autobots!)

Heather Fall (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/f/feather-fall) (Makes people named Heather fall down)

Limited Dish (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/l/limited-wish)

Web Butt (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/web-bolt) (Think the webcomic Spinnerette (http://www.spinnyverse.com/))

Alter Shelf (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/alter-self)

Burning Man (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/burning-hands)

Detect Maggie (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/d/detect-magic) (Finds the nearest Margaret.)

Ensure Elements (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/endure-elements) (This has something do do with Ensure (http://ensure.com/).)

True Trike (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/t/true-strike)

Shield of Face (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/s/shield-of-faith)

[A_S]

Wall of Porn (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/wall-of-thorns) (Conjures a wood-and-paper wall with erotic images, Will save or blush and be useless for a round.)

I believe the status effect you are looking for is "dazzled:"


The creature is unable to see well because of overstimulation of the eyes. A dazzled creature takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls, Search checks, and Spot checks.

[nedz]

I believe the status effect you are looking for is "dazzled:"

No no no, the status effect he is looking for is dazed, caused by the over stimulation of quite a different organ.

[Vaynor]

Animate Thread, actually. Either way, I imagine a mod will be here soon to cast Halt Thread.

The Red Towel: Indeed. Thread locked for necromancy.