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View Full Version : Modern day things that would make a Dwarf rage.



Otherworld Odd
2011-07-29, 11:01 PM
So I've had this idea of a character that gets brought to modern day civilization (just like present day now, all humans). However, I know little of Dwarf culture, so I figured I would do research and what better research to do than ask a bunch of fellow RP nerds!?


What are some modern day things that a Dwarf would get irate about? All I can think of is possibly height requirements on a lot of things, possibly a lack of skill of architecture with stone and ores and the things we use metals for. Anything else playground?

The Glyphstone
2011-07-29, 11:02 PM
The awful quality of our beer?

Curious
2011-07-29, 11:03 PM
"In the name of the ancestors, why do your women shave their beards? Indecent I tell you!"

Xanmyral
2011-07-29, 11:06 PM
Honestly, anything a Dwarf would rage about at us today would pretty much be the same as to what they would rage about in their own time. Lack of good architecture, terrible liquor, lack of facial hair, refusal to go underground... We do have some things that might make a Dwarf squee though, which would be both an interesting, and disturbing notion. Giant drills, awesome power tools, chainsaws, jackhammers... **** I still can't get the horribly funny image of a Dwarf squeeing out of my head.

The Glyphstone
2011-07-29, 11:07 PM
Yeah, I dunno if a Dwarf would think a pneumatic jackhammer was the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Sure, it's taking all the skill and art out of digging/mining, but on the other hand...sooo much fun....

Claudius Maximus
2011-07-29, 11:14 PM
Any dwarf would weep tears of joy upon seeing things like this (http://www.olivepixel.com/misc/beast/6.jpg).

TempesT
2011-07-29, 11:17 PM
Herm.... I would think that the dwarf would begin his raging at popular culture itself. For the most part it seems to be an utter and total waste of time(to a dwarf).

Why would you be watching T.V./browsing the internet when you could be working on the mines?

When dwarves want to have a good time they dedicate a day to all out feasting and beer-chugging competitions. Then they work for another month or so until the next one.

Lord Raziere
2011-07-29, 11:18 PM
lets see.....

a dwarf would rage about:

all skin care and lotion stuff, and taking showers probably, heck our crazy standards of hygiene in general
hippies ("darn elfhuggers!")
our complex etiquette and way of replacing words with "less offensive" ones
environmentalism
PETA
fashion shows, heck fashion in general
talk shows
the news media
I can see dwarves hating harry potter
probably the way they are stereotyped in fantasy books

basically, if you can think of anything feminine, elfish or dishonest in our modern age, the dwarves would likely hate it.

things however dwarves would love:

geothermal power
guns
tanks
explosives
our mining methods
the big industries and manufacturing lines
- basically if it involves big machines and being rough and dirty, a dwarf would love it.

Flickerdart
2011-07-29, 11:19 PM
"What do you mean I can't dig here? What the hell is a gas main anyway?"

The Glyphstone
2011-07-29, 11:28 PM
"What do you mean I can't dig here? What the hell is a gas main anyway?"

*explanation*

"Wait, so it explodes when you hit it? Get the hell out of the way, I wanna see this for myself!"

Dimers
2011-07-29, 11:40 PM
Yeah, I dunno if a Dwarf would think a pneumatic jackhammer was the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Sure, it's taking all the skill and art out of digging/mining, but on the other hand...sooo much fun....

But he'd have to hold it with, like, his chin. Even a dwarf skull can only take so much! ...

A dwarf would be disgusted by most medicine, but not enraged. Hmm, what else ... I think a dwarf would be enraged by the U.S. interstates and the main arteries in cities. They're horribly inefficient, unnecessarily aboveground, full of people -- more specifically, people who are acting like idiots and unmentionable body parts -- expensive, often poorly maintained, and made for totally the wrong mindset. We should consider the needs of the clan and the world, whereas the road system is a glorification and exemplification of individual liberty.

Darthteej
2011-07-29, 11:54 PM
Don't forget that somewhere around 16% of people are atheists or agnositc. I can imagine a dwarf cleric/missionary crying his tears of booze after a hard day in Sweden.

NikitaDarkstar
2011-07-29, 11:57 PM
Don't forget that somewhere around 16% of people are atheists or agnositc. I can imagine a dwarf cleric/missionary crying his tears of booze after a hard day in Sweden.
Granted that goes for anyone who tries to preach there. But he'd probably cheer up after hearing about Thor killing giants with a hammer. :p

Dieting and health food, I really have issues seeing a dwarf liking those. "What do you mean with mineral water and salad?!"

Otherworld Odd
2011-07-29, 11:58 PM
Fastest. Replies. Ever.


o.o. Wow, all great replies though! Much thanks to everybody.


@ Claudius. For some reason I knew what you were linking to before you even linked it. That thing is ridiculous!

Acero
2011-07-30, 12:59 AM
I've always wanted to see a Dwarf get airsick :smallbiggrin:

Arbane
2011-07-30, 02:52 AM
Lite beer has already been mentioned, but how about mass production? "This is terrible! You can't be a craftsman working like this!"

Or modern warfare. "So you press a button, and explosions kill people so far away you can't even see them? Where's the fun in THAT?!"

Esprit15
2011-07-30, 03:50 AM
Legal drinking limits. "Whaddya mean I can't be this drunk and drive!?"

Quietus
2011-07-30, 04:36 AM
Legal drinking limits. "Whaddya mean I can't be this drunk and drive!?"

I wonder, would they hate or love driving in general?

Xiander
2011-07-30, 05:06 AM
I wonder, would they hate or love driving in general?

That much depends on the vehicle, i'd say.

Cespenar
2011-07-30, 05:33 AM
Dwarf truckers is all I'm going to say.

Narren
2011-07-30, 05:37 AM
Justin Beiber.

Bonecrusher Doc
2011-07-30, 05:43 AM
This sounds a lot like that movie "Just Visiting" with Jean Reno.

I agree that a dwarf would be appalled by mass production and the lack of craftsmanship that goes with it. Everything from shoes to houses to beer.

Eldan
2011-07-30, 06:00 AM
Terry Pratchett had, as a plot point once, the concept that dwarves are horrified by the idea of destroying or defacing anything written. What is written is meant to stay written forever.

Now think about:
Free newspapers found at train stations or supermarkets
SMS
E-readers
Pencils
Food packaging
...

Dienekes
2011-07-30, 10:16 AM
Assault and battery? Whaddaya talking about? All I did was punch him.

Followed by

Lawyer? What the hell is a lawyer? If you have a problem with me we'll settle this like dwarves, and I'll punch ya again.

Zarin
2011-07-30, 10:18 AM
I don't think a dwarf would enjoy the giant smoke belching mining machinery as much as a goblin or a kobold would, in fact they might even rage about taking all the hard work and beauty out of mining.

Ravens_cry
2011-07-30, 10:39 AM
Well, if you have your dwarves be the most steampunk race, a common thing in modern interpretations like Warcraft, I am sure they would enjoy our smoke belching tremblors.

Poil
2011-07-30, 12:01 PM
That much depends on the vehicle, i'd say.

Well they wear leather, have beards and drink beer. So... dwarf bikers!

Soren Hero
2011-07-30, 12:18 PM
minecraft

im not sure if they'd love it, because that game is basically dwarven culture or if they'd hate it because ppl use it instead of building massive underground palaces themselves

Eldan
2011-07-30, 12:31 PM
minecraft

im not sure if they'd love it, because that game is basically dwarven culture or if they'd hate it because ppl use it instead of building massive underground palaces themselves

Well, look at The Sims.

Anderlith
2011-07-30, 01:39 PM
One word, "Man-scaping"

Techsmart
2011-07-30, 01:58 PM
just as a possibility...
justin beiber

edit: ninja'd

Nero24200
2011-07-30, 04:22 PM
I could see them complaining about all the goblins coming to this country and stealing their work!

Das Platyvark
2011-07-30, 04:26 PM
The distinct lack of other dwarves.

OracleofWuffing
2011-07-30, 04:33 PM
minecraft

im not sure if they'd love it, because that game is basically dwarven culture or if they'd hate it because ppl use it instead of building massive underground palaces themselves

Dwarf Fortress, for that matter. Either it'd be too realistic or not realistic enough.

Also, how modern culture de-emphasizes focus on male dwarven beards, making their beards seem thin and short compared to how a real dwarf's facial hair works. ZZTop? Feh, more like Peach Fuzz.

Oh, also, the idea that Dwarves are easy to anger would really set off a Dwarf.

super dark33
2011-07-30, 04:36 PM
-you need to be this height to ride this roller coaster-

RRRRr /
fff - :smallfurious:
AAA /\

This od course, after he gets used to technology.

hewhosaysfish
2011-07-30, 06:45 PM
Maybe a dwarf would rage about the rampant stereotyping of dwarves in fantasy...

Machinekng
2011-07-30, 06:53 PM
The beach.

Not beaches themselves, but rather the concept of spending a day sun tanning, surfing, and messing aound in the water,

A dwarf would cringe.

Other things:

Modern art
Shaving Cream

Esprit15
2011-07-30, 07:16 PM
Political corruption in various countries

General laziness of people

Laws against "minor" violence, as stated before

Weak beer/alcohol in general

Immonen
2011-07-30, 09:41 PM
One has to remember, dwarves hate horses because they're too high in the air.

Things a dwarf would hate:
Motorcycles
Large Trucks
Skyscrapers

Otherworld Odd
2011-07-30, 10:03 PM
How would a dwarf react to.... wrestling? WWE style. Before and after he finds out it's fake.

Spiryt
2011-07-30, 10:08 PM
How would a dwarf react to.... wrestling? WWE style. Before and after he finds out it's fake.

So 3 seconds of reaction vs very many seconds of reaction ? :smalltongue:

Esprit15
2011-07-30, 10:13 PM
So 3 seconds of reaction vs very many seconds of reaction ? :smalltongue:
Before: "Finally some fighting in an otherwise sissy culture!" *sits on floor with large bottle of strong alcoholic drink*
After: "They're just bards with muscles who dance rather than sing!" *throws TV out the window*

HalfDragonCube
2011-07-30, 10:23 PM
Any dwarf would weep tears of joy upon seeing things like this (http://www.olivepixel.com/misc/beast/6.jpg).

What. Is. That.

And where can I get one?


But he'd have to hold it with, like, his chin. Even a dwarf skull can only take so much! ...

Simple, ride the pneumatic drill like a pogo stick.

Arbane
2011-07-30, 10:39 PM
What. Is. That.

And where can I get one?


Despite appearances, it's not actually a machine for sawing the planet in half. I believe it's some sort of German excavation equipment.

HalfDragonCube
2011-07-30, 10:52 PM
Despite appearances, it's not actually a machine for sawing the planet in half. I believe it's some sort of German excavation equipment.

To Germany! *Hops in the Cubemobile*

Anyway, the fact that few people take good care of their beards might annoy a dwarf.

'Stubble? Blasphemy!'

Marillion
2011-07-30, 10:54 PM
How would a dwarf react to.... wrestling? WWE style. Before and after he finds out it's fake.

Before: "This is brilliant!"

After: "Be quiet, my stories are on."

Dimers
2011-07-30, 10:57 PM
To combine these two ideas -- that machine is actually the first dwarf razor. Nothing else yet invented has proven butch enough to make one want to shave. To Germany, aye! We'll grind away this stubble yet!

Still not butch enough for Chuck Norris, though. :smallsmile:

Ravens_cry
2011-07-31, 01:15 AM
One has to remember, dwarves hate horses because they're too high in the air.

Things a dwarf would hate:
Motorcycles
Large Trucks
Skyscrapers
Motercycles tend to hug the ground a bit closer than horses. Considering they ride ponies, I think they would like a throaty, rumbling, low riding, Harley.

Venerable
2011-07-31, 02:12 AM
Giant has some thoughts on the matter: oots #84, "Saddest. Comic. Ever." (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0084.html)

My take? Forget differences in tech. A dwarf would adapt to that. Instead, consider what's really important to dwarves: their family and their clan. I'd imagine that anyone who refuses to honor their clan, their family, or elders in general would draw dwarven wrath down on their heads. Probably with large hammer.

Telok
2011-07-31, 04:02 AM
Planned obsolescence.

The act of engineering something to fail after a short amount of time so that you can sell more of it.

If you did it right in the first place you wouldn't need another one.

Eldan
2011-07-31, 04:41 AM
To Germany! *Hops in the Cubemobile*
[/B]'

That at the front? Not a giant saw, sadly. Those are buckets for moving earth. It's a mining tool.

Cespenar
2011-07-31, 05:01 AM
Planned obsolescence.

The act of engineering something to fail after a short amount of time so that you can sell more of it.

If you did it right in the first place you wouldn't need another one.

Exactly.

"I got this dwarf-made oven 20 years ago, but it still works the same as the day we got it. You have to remember putting on your welding mask before using it, though."

Eldan
2011-07-31, 05:03 AM
Heh. Dwarven cars.

"Two inch solid steel chassis! It only has two seats, so that the gas tank fits in, but it can drive through a wall without a scratch. Every part of the engine has been forged by hand. The seats are actually just metal chairs originally, I had to install the upholstery myself. On the other hand, they are amazingly sturdy."

The Glyphstone
2011-07-31, 09:14 AM
Motercycles tend to hug the ground a bit closer than horses. Considering they ride ponies, I think they would like a throaty, rumbling, low riding, Harley.

And now I can't shake the image of dwarven biker gangs from my head.

Seb Wiers
2011-07-31, 09:19 AM
Despite appearances, it's not actually a machine for sawing the planet in half. I believe it's some sort of German excavation equipment.

If you've ever seen an open pit strip mine, you'd perhaps reverse the conclusion that its not built to saw the planet in half. They can and do turn mountains into holes in the ground...

Eldan
2011-07-31, 09:24 AM
And now I can't shake the image of dwarven biker gangs from my head.


Squats The race that must not be named, you mean? :smalltongue:

Tiki Snakes
2011-07-31, 10:04 AM
This sounds a lot like that movie "Just Visiting" with Jean Reno.

I agree that a dwarf would be appalled by mass production and the lack of craftsmanship that goes with it. Everything from shoes to houses to beer.

This is the closest to an accurate reply in the thread, I think.
The funny replies are all good, but I just don't feel them.

Dwarves would be depressed by and enraged by the way mass production has pushed down expected quality. Further, the treatment of the workers involved in manufacturing and engineering and so on. The widespread introduction of robotics in manufacturing, the homogenisation of design (see modern cars, buildings, etc etc) and the concept of relying on foreign countries to supply the goods you used to manufacture.

The culture of disrespect for the elder generations.
The treatment of the old and infirm, the idea that you might have to sell your house to pay for care in your old age and how little a pension brings in.

Political corruption, and corruption in general. Inept politicians or political parties who are lax in their 'duties'. Tax evasion.

Disposable culture and associated wastefullness. Fad diets and the harmful impact of high fashion culture.

and yes,


Before: "This is brilliant!"

After: "Be quiet, my stories are on."

This seems pretty spot on, really. I figure a dwarf would understand perfectly, approve all over the place and if nothing else quite respect the concept/culture of kayfabe.

Just my point of view, anyway. Dwarven Bikers, truckers et all seem about right, too. :smallsmile:

Urpriest
2011-07-31, 10:24 AM
I agree with Eldan. Squats.

http://images.wikia.com/warhammer40k/images/d/dc/Squats.jpg

jguy
2011-07-31, 10:37 AM
This is one of the best threads I have read in a long, long time.

I am curious how Dwarfs would feel about Strip mining. Would they be impressed about the wealth of minerals able to get garnered by the efficient mining of a region, or would even they be appalled by the huge change it has on the landscape.

They would hate divorce rates or even the concept of it. Marriage is forever and don't be thinking about leaving just because you "Aren't happy". I am curious about what they would believe about other forms of marriage but I won't delve too deep into -that- discussion. At least they could get definitive answers from Morridan with a simple Commune spell, clear it right up.

Worlok
2011-07-31, 10:43 AM
So, we have dwarves, biker culture, scriptedly televised costumed man-hugging and German overkill technology... Why not go the extra mile towards Rammsteinian metal dwarves (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UGgFJjCKaE)? (You'll see what I'm getting at after the video's through. :smallbiggrin: Oh, and yes, I've seen the planet-saw up close. :smalltongue:)

Other than that, would a dwarf play Dwarf Fortress? :smallwink:

Chilingsworth
2011-07-31, 11:40 AM
Paris Hilton

And Purse Dogs!

Wardog
2011-07-31, 01:53 PM
Despite appearances, it's not actually a machine for sawing the planet in half. I believe it's some sort of German excavation equipment.

Challenge accepted.

****

This really depends on what sort of dwarves you are talking about.

Tolkien? Aren't actually very much like stereotypical dwarves, so apart from lamenting the loss of craftmanship, most of the things mentioned probably wouldn't

D&D? Don't know that much about them.

Dwarf Fortress? That machine (http://www.olivepixel.com/misc/beast/6.jpg)mentioned above. This machine (http://dcnonl.com/article/20060814100). Enough firepower to destroy the world. **SQUEE!!**

randomhero00
2011-07-31, 02:04 PM
Perfume, colone, deodorant, body sprays, scented soaps, bubble baths, etc.

Suits, tuxes, or whatever for formal events.

Probably all religions considering none of them can produce miracles or good beer (i.e. holy water).

Housing. Most of it is all the same. Little craftsmanship. Plus its above ground.

Most of the government. They are used to few rules all in all, they tend to go by whats right by what they feel inside. Like having to wear hardhats.

All in all I think a dwarf would go mad with rage in our society. Elves too.

jguy
2011-07-31, 03:31 PM
It is almost like Dwarves have a completely different culture than humans...as if they are another race with an entirely different sent of values. OH WAIT.

Otherworld Odd
2011-08-06, 11:03 AM
Guiz, do dwarves have kings? How is their government and military ran? I don't feel like googling this, TELL ME NAO. Please. >.>

Eldan
2011-08-06, 11:14 AM
In my world? By a council of the greatest musicians. It's a long story.

Caewil
2011-08-07, 09:14 PM
I honestly feel that dwarves would be hardcore republicans (as opposed to monarchists). The fact that kings are generally useless and wear unnecessary luxuries would put them off too much.

NNescio
2011-08-08, 02:28 AM
... Dwarf Fortress? That machine (http://www.olivepixel.com/misc/beast/6.jpg)mentioned above. This machine (http://dcnonl.com/article/20060814100). Enough firepower to destroy the world. **SQUEE!!**

What would they think about the LHC?


And now I can't shake the image of dwarven biker gangs from my head.

http://ompldr.org/vOXQxZg/biker%20dwarf.jpg

http://ompldr.org/vOXQxZw/biker_dwarf_concept_by_zano.jpg


So I've had this idea of a character that gets brought to modern day civilization (just like present day now, all humans). However, I know little of Dwarf culture, so I figured I would do research and what better research to do than ask a bunch of fellow RP nerds!?


What are some modern day things that a Dwarf would get irate about? All I can think of is possibly height requirements on a lot of things, possibly a lack of skill of architecture with stone and ores and the things we use metals for. Anything else playground?

WoTC and Google Images.

Specifically, this:

http://wizards.com/dnd/images/MotP/Gatecrasher.jpg

Otherworld Odd
2011-08-09, 05:29 PM
Well how is a kingdom generally ran in D&D?

NNescio
2011-08-10, 04:15 PM
Well how is a kingdom generally ran in D&D?

"Hollywood Medieval".

Roderick_BR
2011-08-11, 08:04 AM
Justin Beiber.
"Look, they have elves here too!"

Caliphbubba
2011-08-11, 11:32 AM
I think they would get annoyed pretty quick if everyone kept asking them "So from where in Scotland are you exactly?"

:smallfurious:

lol

Worlok
2011-08-13, 10:33 AM
In other news, the previously-mentioned death machine does now have its own theme song (http://www.rathergood.com/bagger288). If not a particularly dwarfy one. Make of that what you will. :smallsigh:

Morph Bark
2011-08-13, 12:05 PM
I honestly feel that dwarves would be hardcore republicans (as opposed to monarchists). The fact that kings are generally useless and wear unnecessary luxuries would put them off too much.

I always thought of them more as communists.

Dienekes
2011-08-14, 11:09 AM
I always thought of them more as communists.

I thought dwarves greatest vice was greed, and they're all about being artisans. Doesn't really scream communists to me.

Jubal_Barca
2011-08-14, 12:19 PM
I don't see Dwarves as necessarily liking tanks, massive guns and pollution. They'd blow a fuse at strip mining as well... ultimately they're creatures of the earth, they live WITH the earth and as such aren't going to be all too keen on destroying it.

randomhero00
2011-08-14, 01:00 PM
The internet.

No face to face communication? Where's the honor in that? Also what if the other person insults you? You couldn't deal as a dwarf.

Haarkla
2011-08-14, 07:54 PM
I am curious how Dwarfs would feel about Strip mining. Would they be impressed about the wealth of minerals able to get garnered by the efficient mining of a region, or would even they be appalled by the huge change it has on the landscape.

They would dislike it because it is not done underground.

snikrept
2011-08-15, 01:11 AM
A Dwarf would probably rage hardest when he discovered that his ancient, noble, and not at all hilarious people are a figure of fun in modern Human culture: a bag of joke stereotypes about beer, axes, beards and stone that probably has little relation to himself.

Eldan
2011-08-15, 02:43 AM
A Dwarf would probably rage hardest when he discovered that his ancient, noble, and not at all hilarious people are a figure of fun in modern Human culture: a bag of joke stereotypes about beer, axes, beards and stone that probably has little relation to himself.

Mhm. Real dwarves are a type of elf that can make himself invisible, turn into animals and turns to stone in sunlight. :smallwink:

stainboy
2011-08-17, 08:01 AM
Any dwarf would weep tears of joy upon seeing things like this (http://www.olivepixel.com/misc/beast/6.jpg).

World of Warcraft called, they want their machinery back.

What the hell is that thing?

E: As it turns out, my question was answered on Page 2, and I can't read.

Yora
2011-08-17, 08:29 AM
Those things are excavators for strip mining. In the front you have those huge shovel wheels that dig up the ground and then the material is transported by conveyor belts to the section in the back, where it's then filled into waiting trucks. Since the boom is fixed length, the machine has to be moved closer to the wall constantly, which the huge treads are for.
Under perfect circumstances, they can excavate close to 400,000 qubic meters of material in one day.

Every 4 year old boy in Germany could tell you about them. :smallbiggrin:

Worlok
2011-08-20, 04:59 PM
Those things are excavators for strip mining. In the front you have those huge shovel wheels that dig up the ground and then the material is transported by conveyor belts to the section in the back, where it's then filled into waiting trucks. Since the boom is fixed length, the machine has to be moved closer to the wall constantly, which the huge treads are for.
Under perfect circumstances, they can excavate close to 400,000 qubic meters of material in one day.

Every 4 year old boy in Germany could tell you about them. :smallbiggrin:
Hush. You're ruining our death-machine-cred. :smallannoyed: (:smalltongue:)


I think they would get annoyed pretty quick if everyone kept asking them "So from where in Scotland are you exactly?"
"It's bonnie undergroond. Ye woods nae hae heard ay it." :smallwink:

MidnightOne
2011-08-27, 05:09 PM
"It's bonnie undergroond. Ye woods nae hae heard ay it." :smallwink:

Dwarves are hipsters?

And Goatees. They'd HATE goatees. "You call THAT a beard?"

herrhauptmann
2011-08-28, 03:11 PM
One has to remember, dwarves hate horses because they're too high in the air.

When/where does it say they hate horses for being too high in the air? More likely they hate them because a horse is not a subterranean creature.

What. Is. That.

And where can I get one?



Simple, ride the pneumatic drill like a pogo stick.
Bagger 288 I believe. Or one of its similarly named brethren.
If you look closely in some pictures, you can see what happens to things that get in its way. Like bulldozers. (Here's a hint, the bagger treats them like a bright yellow rock)
http://www.nukees.com/comics/nukees20110128.gif

Delwugor
2011-08-28, 10:00 PM
Dwarves would be depressed by and enraged by the way mass production has pushed down expected quality. Further, the treatment of the workers involved in manufacturing and engineering and so on. The widespread introduction of robotics in manufacturing, the homogenisation of design (see modern cars, buildings, etc etc) and the concept of relying on foreign countries to supply the goods you used to manufacture.

The culture of disrespect for the elder generations.
The treatment of the old and infirm, the idea that you might have to sell your house to pay for care in your old age and how little a pension brings in.

Political corruption, and corruption in general. Inept politicians or political parties who are lax in their 'duties'. Tax evasion.

Disposable culture and associated wastefullness. Fad diets and the harmful impact of high fashion culture.
People who use Dwarves to make a point for their own agendas of distorted morality.




The awful quality of our beer?


American beer really enrages me, but there are still some good European beers.
Transportation, walk you lazy bums. And carry your stuff in a back pack.
Konceal Karry Axe laws are irritating, but no one has succeeded in taking my axe away.
Skyscrapers, wrong direction you idiots.

But the absolutely worst thing imaginable: Mrs. D gave me a set of elven dice for my birthday one year. :smallfurious: What horrible people uses dice with elven numbers on them?

herrhauptmann
2011-08-28, 11:09 PM
American beer really enrages me, but there are still some good European beers.
We've got good beer too. Judging us on Coors light is like judging Australia beer on Fosters.
Problem is, you gotta find the microbrews. Preferably microbrews that know to do more than just pour as many hops as they can into their brew.

Coidzor
2011-08-28, 11:47 PM
When/where does it say they hate horses for being too high in the air? More likely they hate them because a horse is not a subterranean creature.

Nah, it's because they can't stand the taste of 'em, and can't stand the skittishness.

And a work animal that's useless to a dwarf is just bad.

Katasi
2011-08-29, 04:44 AM
Things that would make dwarves rage huh?

-Nuclear waste stored underground. *tink tink tink* "Look boys , we've broken through into a cavern!" "I don't feel so good boss."

-Weapon control laws

-Birth control

-Airplanes

-Democracy. Let's face it dwarves seem pretty much hard-wired for monarchy

-Razors

-Speaking of hardwired.... I can't IMAGINE a dwarf getting on well with any sort of computer.

-Suits and ties! gasp. Just imagine: "You shave off your beards and put WHAT around your necks?"

-Vegans

-Liberals

-DUI and Drunk and Disorderly laws [could you imagine a dwarf during the prohibition?]

That's a short list to start with.

Autolykos
2011-08-29, 04:51 AM
could you imagine a dwarf during the prohibition?I could definitely imagine a dwarven mafia... Damn, now I need to get the image out of my head.

Eldan
2011-08-29, 05:22 AM
Heh.

Dwarven booze smugglers.

"He ran across state lines? Carrying how many barrels of moonshine?"

Conners
2011-08-29, 07:36 AM
But the absolutely worst thing imaginable: Mrs. D gave me a set of elven dice for my birthday one year. :smallfurious: What horrible people uses dice with elven numbers on them? Wait, what? I don't even...


Politicians who lie outright constantly, and constantly, and constantly... no matter how obvious it is. Wonder what a dwarf mob would be willing to do if you broke their patience into tiny pieces...

Wardog
2011-08-29, 11:58 AM
Wait, what? I don't even...


Politicians who lie outright constantly, and constantly, and constantly... no matter how obvious it is.

Yes, what sort of useless politician lies obviously? [/Dragon Age dwarves]

Shadow of the Sun
2011-08-29, 01:12 PM
What you folks need to understand is that dwarves aren't, contrary to popular opinion, small gruff Scots.

They're small gruff Australians.

So, most basically...the British. The New Zealanders. Any dwarf from a culturally similar but just different enough area...

Also, while I'm sure there are plenty of dwarfen connoisseurs of alcohol, I think the majority just wanna get blotto. "I spent all day underground with a pick. I didn't hit ANYTHING. I hate my life. Another one, Bjorn."

Katasi
2011-08-29, 03:04 PM
I could definitely imagine a dwarven mafia... Damn, now I need to get the image out of my head.

No, don't get it out of your head. Make a campaign out of it.


What you folks need to understand is that dwarves aren't, contrary to popular opinion, small gruff Scots.

They're small gruff Australians.

So, most basically...the British. The New Zealanders. Any dwarf from a culturally similar but just different enough area...

Also, while I'm sure there are plenty of dwarfen connoisseurs of alcohol, I think the majority just wanna get blotto. "I spent all day underground with a pick. I didn't hit ANYTHING. I hate my life. Another one, Bjorn."

Dwarves are short rednecks.

randomhero00
2011-08-29, 08:02 PM
If we introduced them to the real world....

I think dwarfs would make a better world.

Elves would not.

Worlok
2011-08-30, 11:37 AM
Dwarves are short rednecks.
I think the Australian redneck is more accurately referred to as a bogan.

Anyhow... Bogan dwarf mafia. A better world indeed. :smallamused:

Katasi
2011-08-30, 01:53 PM
I think the Australian redneck is more accurately referred to as a bogan.

Anyhow... Bogan dwarf mafia. A better world indeed. :smallamused:

Idk as they're correctly Australian.... I could totally see a dwarf from Alabama or Mississippi