Game rules for Semi-elemental plane of ranch dressing and GO!

[Alex Warlorn]

Oh come on. You KNEW this is was going to happen eventually. Geeks and detail nuts of Giant In the Playground forum, let the random guessing and fanon commence! The topic: The Semi-elemental plane of Ranch Dressing. Oh and of course it's inevitable opposite orbiting universe the semi-elemental plane of Bread Crumbs.

[Prowl]

Ranch dressing has healing properties... notice the battle damage is gone after the dip :smallbiggrin:

[rewinn]

Oh come on. You KNEW this is was going to happen eventually. Geeks and detail nuts of Giant In the Playground forum, let the random guessing and fanon commence! The topic: The Semi-elemental plane of Ranch Dressing. Oh and of course it's inevitable opposite orbiting universe the semi-elemental plane of Bread Crumbs.

It's hostile to druids, since so many fine broccoli warriors have died on that plane. It also featured prominently in the demise of The Order Of The Carrot Stick.

[Ulysses WkAmil]

It's hostile to druids, since so many fine broccoli warriors have died on that plane. It also featured prominently in the demise of The Order Of The Carrot Stick.

Lo! How the mighty have fallen!

[GSFB]

Just as the Abyss and the Nine Hells have had their eons long Bloodwar, so too have the closely aligned yet inexorably antagonistic semi-elemental planes of ranch dressing and bleu cheese dressing.

Seriously, you'd think they could team up and take out those smug and pompous vinaigrettes once and for all, but nooooooooo....

[legomaster00156]

I'd say it's mildly Chaos-aligned, but in most other ways similar to the Material Plane. Besides, y'know, being made of ranch dressing.

[Alex Warlorn]

Ranch dressing has healing properties... notice the battle damage is gone after the dip :smallbiggrin:

Say, you're right!

[Gift Jeraff]

The local Outsiders are probably called Salaads.

[The Rugi]

There's either a floor under all of that dressing or it's so thick that an elf can stand on it and can be dropped onto it without sinking.

Probably offers some sort of bonus for any spell with the Ranch descriptor.

[Caractacus]

The local Outsiders are probably called Salaads.

That sounds likely. Lettuce wait and see what happens next...

[Alagaesian]

It appears that a good many people on this thread have taken levels in Dashing Swordsman.

I wonder what the stats are on that Ranch Elemental. I can imagine Redcloak complaining about its existence, since ranch is a heterogeneous mixture rather than an element.

[Warmage]

I wonder what the stats are on that Ranch Elemental. I can imagine Redcloak complaining about its existence, since ranch is a heterogeneous mixture rather than an element.

It is a semi-elemental, almost as powerful as a true elemental, but much tastier.


Probably offers some sort of bonus for any spell with the Ranch descriptor.

And thus, V learns the single most powerful spell in his arsenal: Meteor Salad.

[goodyarn]

Located somewhere along the border of the planes of buttermilk and mayonnaise, it lay bland and neglected for eons until the great god Herb briefly passed through on his way to the land of Tandoori. Herb's passage left behind traces of his essence, bringing forth flavor.

[ObadiahtheSlim]

I wonder if it has any relation to the semi-plane of buffalo wings...

[Vectner]

Demi planes lay between two similar planes, so it must lie between a plane of buttermilk and sour cream, with the plane of chives contacting them both. Then a plane of onion dip on the other side. Surround it all with broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and carrot sticks and it would form the great wheel of relish trays.

[Dr.Epic]

Ranch dressing has healing properties... notice the battle damage is gone after the dip :smallbiggrin:

Or the damage was on his one side and we can't see it because he turned. Just like Two Face or Jonah Hex.

What I don't get is how come they speak common. All elementals have their own language so why don't these elementals?

[Phishfood]

Or the damage was on his one side and we can't see it because he turned. Just like Two Face or Jonah Hex.

What I don't get is how come they speak common. All elementals have their own language so why don't these elementals?

Because their tounge is our tounge. Duh. *



* Think about it til it makes sense, or you go insane. Either way suits me.

[ORione]

It's the home plane of those winged buffaloes.

[BlackestOfMages]

they speak the same language becuase this is a comic based of DnD (as in, for the humour part) and it wouldn't be funny if every race was unable to understand each other - just stupid

On topic: obviously, there's some movement penalty involved for the ranch dressing, look how thick that stuff is!

and I'm also gessing quite a lot of dr/broccoli - quite hard to damage something made of liquid that can put itself back together :)

[Snails]

Just as the Abyss and the Nine Hells have had their eons long Bloodwar, so too have the closely aligned yet inexorably antagonistic semi-elemental planes of ranch dressing and bleu cheese dressing.

Seriously, you'd think they could team up and take out those smug and pompous vinaigrettes once and for all, but nooooooooo....

I see you believe that differences between vinagrettes and our pungent cheeses are important. In the bigger picture, I see the conflict as dominated by the inherent antipathy between Gouda vs. Evora cheese.

[Dr.Epic]

Because their tounge is our tounge. Duh. *



* Think about it til it makes sense, or you go insane. Either way suits me.

I don't know about you, but my tongue isn't made of ranch dressing.

[OrzhvoPatriarch]

On its boarder with the elemental plane of water, you can find the never ending archipelago of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Thousand Island Dressing. A place of never ending espionage as a certain burger chain tries to hide the source of its "special sauce".

[Acanous]

At least V fell to the Demiplane of Ranch Dressing, and not the Demiplane of Angry Bears.

[Dr.Epic]

At least V fell to the Demiplane of Ranch Dressing, and not the Demiplane of Angry Bears.

All the angry bears would do is steal V's picnic basket.:smalltongue:

[iBear]

The local Outsiders are probably called Salaads.

Zing!

Well played.

[brionl]

At least V fell to the Demiplane of Ranch Dressing, and not the Demiplane of Angry Bears.

Mmmm, Angry Beers.
/drool

[Chess435]

I'm tempted to stat up some Ranch Elementals.....

[Warmage]

I'm tempted to stat up some Ranch Elementals.....

How's this for a start?



Ranch Semi-Elemental, Large
Size/Type: Large Semi-Elemental (Ranch, Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 8d8+32 (68 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), swim 90 ft.
Armor Class: 18 (-1 size, +9 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+15
Attack: Slam +11 melee (2d8+6)
Full Attack: 2 slams +11 melee (2d8+6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Ranch mastery, drench, delicious
Special Qualities: Damage reduction 5/-, darkvision 60 ft., semi-elemental traits
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +2, Will +2
Abilities: Str 22, Dex 11, Con 19, Int 6, Wis 11, Cha 11
Skills: Listen +6, Spot +6
Feats: Cleave, Great Cleave, Power Attack
Environment: Semi-Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Usually neutral
Advancement: 9-15 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: —

A ranch semi-elemental can’t venture more than 180 feet from the salad from which it was conjured.

Ranch semi-elementals speak Ranchan but rarely choose to do so.

Combat
A ranch semi-elemental prefers to fight on top of a salad or covered in broccoli or other such locations where it is delicious.

Ranch Mastery (Ex)
A ranch semi-elemental gains a +1 bonus on attack and damage rolls if both it and its opponent are touching ranch dressing. If the opponent or the semi-elemental is touching something that would not taste delicious with ranch dressing, the semi-elemental takes a -4 penalty on attack and damage rolls. (These modifiers are not included in the statistics block.)

Drench (Ex)
The semi-elemental’s touch puts out torches, campfires, exposed lanterns, and other open flames of nonmagical origin if these are of Large size or smaller. The creature can dispel magical fire it touches as dispel magic (caster level equals semi-elemental’s HD).

Delicious (Ex)
Those hit by a ranch semi-elemental’s slam attack coats its target in ranch dressing. The target must succeed on a DC 18 Will save or they start to eat themselves, dealing 1d6 damage every round. The effect lasts for 1d4 rounds. An affected creature can take a move action to remove the ranch dressing.

Creatures hitting a ranch semi-elemental with natural weapons or unarmed attacks become covered in ranch dressing as though hit by the semi-elemental’s attack, and also start to eat themselves unless they succeed on a Will save.

Skills
A ranch semi-elemental has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.

[leakingpen]

Deep in this plane, there is a place, nestled between two mountains. A... secret lair, kept safe for millenia from prying eyes. There, there is an artifact, a powerful artifact, the Wishbone of a great bird, with untold abilities, locked away deep, with The Valley of the Hidden Ranch.

[The Rugi]

And thus, V learns the single most powerful spell in his arsenal: Meteor Salad.

Is that the counterspell for Meatier Swarm?

[Ghostwheel]

Just as the Abyss and the Nine Hells have had their eons long Bloodwar, so too have the closely aligned yet inexorably antagonistic semi-elemental planes of ranch dressing and bleu cheese dressing.

Seriously, you'd think they could team up and take out those smug and pompous vinaigrette's once and for all, but nooooooooo....

This.


I don't like greens. My salads during the summer demand anything but a vinaigrette. I also do not dislike greens.

[martianmister]

It's part of the elemental plane of food.

[Blisstake]

The local Outsiders are probably called Salaads.

...
...
...

You win the internet.

[Alex Warlorn]

Hmm. Since semi-elemental planes exist BETWEEN two other element planes. What two elements does it exist between?

[Narren]

Or the damage was on his one side and we can't see it because he turned. Just like Two Face or Jonah Hex.

I think that's the case, actually. I checked comic 800, and the damage only shows to his left side.


What I don't get is how come they speak common. All elementals have their own language so why don't these elementals?

I think speaking Ranch is just going too far.

[Alex Warlorn]

I wonder if this implies that there is a Semi-Elemental Plane for EVERY POSSIBLE CHEMICAL COMBINATION IN EXISTENCE in the Order of the Stick verse. After all, there are Gold, Fire, and Oxygen elementals.

[Wanda V'Orcus]

If the elemental speaking to V self-identifies as a male, does that make him a Dude Ranch??

:smalltongue:

Cheers, JohnH / Wanda

[Steward]

I wonder if this implies that there is a Semi-Elemental Plane for EVERY POSSIBLE CHEMICAL COMBINATION IN EXISTENCE in the Order of the Stick verse. After all, there are Gold, Fire, and Oxygen elementals.

I don't see any reason why not. I doubt we'll visit many more of them (this isn't really a 'plane-hopping' strip) but there isn't any coherent limitation on how many planes can exist. I mean, if Fire can get its own plane despite not being an 'element', and 'evil Hellish creatures' get like three or four planes to themselves (Pandemonium, Acheron, Baator, and probably some other places)...


If the elemental speaking to V self-identifies as a male, does that make him a Dude Ranch??

:amused:

[Lunarix]

And think guys, whenever you get tired of being on the Semi-elemental plane of ranch you can always go to the Semi-elemental plane of Guacamole :smallcool:

[Caractacus]

[...] kept safe for millenia from prying eyes.

Wait... kept safe for thousands of...um...'bottom holes'? :smalleek:

('Annus' and its derived form 'millennium' have two 'n's for a reason! :smallcool:)

[Wanda V'Orcus]

And think guys, whenever you get tired of being on the Semi-elemental plane of ranch you can always go to the Semi-elemental plane of Guacamole :smallcool:

Are there seven layers to that plane??

:smallbiggrin:

Cheers, JohnH / Wanda

[Lunarix]

Are there seven layers to that plane??

:smallbiggrin:

Cheers, JohnH / Wanda

Yep, and you have to worry about the wandering tortilla chip monsters trying to upset the balance of the plane.

[Wanda V'Orcus]

Yep, and you have to worry about the wandering tortilla chip monsters trying to upset the balance of the plane.

True, true -- they are notorious for their special abilities which greatly resemble the arcane spell dig (or, for Pathfinder folk out there, expeditious excavation)... :smalltongue:

Cheers, JohnH / Wanda

[leakingpen]

Are there seven layers to that plane??

:smallbiggrin:

Cheers, JohnH / Wanda

No, its one of the layers of a seven layered plane, but you don't want to go there, everyone you meet is one big dip.

[Venom3053000]

i'd rather go to the semi elemental plane of nachos

[Alex Warlorn]

This makes me wonder if V is gonna go crazy on a demi-plane that's apparently more Elan's style of gaming.

[Dr.Epic]

I think speaking Ranch is just going too far.

More like not far enough. Come on Rich. Give us some stats on these elementals.

[the_tick_rules]

More like not far enough. Come on Rich. Give us some stats on these elementals.

Do we think he has THAT much free time :smalltongue:

[Dr.Epic]

Do we think he has THAT much free time :smalltongue:

Well how can he create something as awesome as ranch dressing elementals, and then not give us stats?

[rewinn]

Hmm. Since semi-elemental planes exist BETWEEN two other element planes. What two elements does it exist between?

It's at the intersection of the Slightly Sour Dairy Product Plane (Yogurt/Buttermilk) and the Plan Of Smelly Vegetables (Garlic/Onions)

Oh wait, someone gave a MUCH better answer before me:

Demi planes lay between two similar planes, so it must lie between a plane of buttermilk and sour cream, with the plane of chives contacting them both. Then a plane of onion dip on the other side. Surround it all with broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and carrot sticks and it would form the great wheel of relish trays.

Expect a 13-volume fantasy series based on The Great Wheel of Relish Trays!

[Alex Warlorn]

I wonder if the Dungeon Master (by any other name) knew what a can of worms he was opening when he introduced this demi-plane into the comic.

[denthor]

years ago there was a book of traps to make your players feel shall we say less than god like.

Fill a 10X10 hole with whipped cream. Drop player character into said hole and watch him miss the climb role with a slippery rope.

This causes player to sink in whipped cream and "drown."

Now boast about how great a player you are since you just died in whipped cream.

[electricbee]

Maybe if Haley is instrumental in V's rescue, she will have the opportunity to dip into the salad shooter prestige class?

[Dr.Epic]

Wait, how is V standing in that plane? Ranch dressing is a liquid. (s)he should be sinking.

[Alex Warlorn]

Wait, how is V standing in that plane? Ranch dressing is a liquid. (s)he should be sinking.

Maybe the gravity is subjective?

[Steward]

That's her gestalt levels in Monk coming into play.

[Prowl]

Are there seven layers to that plane??


No, but the plane has a thousand islands.

[Alex Warlorn]

One interesting to note is that the entire plane isn't MADE of ranch dressing complete, there's atmosphere and directional gravity. While the Elemental Plane of Earth is almost completely solid, while the elemental plane of water is pretty much all water, etc.

[UrsielHauke]

Subjective directional gravity, like pretty much any nonsolid plane. (Limbo, Elemental Planes of Water/Air, etc)

[dtilque]

Wait, how is V standing in that plane? Ranch dressing is a liquid. (s)he should be sinking.

The fly spell from the battle with Z is still active.

And whether they sink or not depends on the density of ranch dressing.

[KillingAScarab]

There's either a floor under all of that dressing or it's so thick that an elf can stand on it and can be dropped onto it without sinking.

Probably offers some sort of bonus for any spell with the Ranch descriptor.I propose subjective density is the reason for the lack of sinking. The plane's dressing is as dense underneath them as the inhabitants believe it to be.

As for the the enhanced magic, clearly this comes in the form of a condiments bonus.


Demi planes lay between two similar planes, so it must lie between a plane of buttermilk and sour cream, with the plane of chives contacting them both. Then a plane of onion dip on the other side. Surround it all with broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and carrot sticks and it would form the great wheel of relish trays.This is the best cosmology.


One interesting to note is that the entire plane isn't MADE of ranch dressing complete, there's atmosphere and directional gravity. While the Elemental Plane of Earth is almost completely solid, while the elemental plane of water is pretty much all water, etc.I interpret it as the ranch dressing isn't what semi-elemental is describing; it describes how the plane is not elementally ranch dressing, only most of it is. In contrast, the plane of water is elementally/fundamentally water.

Finally, I would like to take something by Jim Gaffigan (http://twitter.com/JimGaffigan/status/115204516604940288) into consideration, because this stand-up comedian clearly knows more about food than anyone else. :)

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?I propose all ranch dressing elementals have crushing despair as a spell-like ability. It might even be an effect of the plane, considering what Vaarsuvius just experienced.

[WickedWizard17]

I think that Oozes and Jellies would have citizenship and full rights. After all, a lot of people in this country can vote and they don't have brains either . . .

For the record, D&D planar cosmology got me through 10th grade geometry. :smallbiggrin: