View Full Version : Creature - I thought they stopped making B movies?
Keld Denar
2011-09-09, 11:19 AM
I saw this movie last night at a free preview. I'm so glad I didn't pay for it cause DANG! it was terrible. A weak plot to begin with, it had almost no exposition so you had very little idea what was actually going on.
Premise: 6 twenty-somethings are driving from Texas to New Orleans to go party in the Big Easy. Along the way, they stop in no-wheresville to use the restroom where they meet some locals. The locals tell them about an old house where there was some stuff about incest and a huge gator. The kids decide not only to check it out, but they decide to camp right next to it. Gah, haven't these people EVER watched a single scary movie?
Plot: 0/5
Special Effects: 1/5
Cinematography: 1/5
Acting: 2/5
Fanservice: 4/5 (BEWBIES!!!!!)
Ending: -4/5
Spoiler part
Man, this movie didn't want to end. There was a part where the plot was advancing pretty quickly and people were dying. Good. Then there was the climactic rescue. Good. Then the chick got captured again. Eh, ok. Then there was the climactic rescue. Eh, follows from the last capture. Then the chick gets captured again. Oh come on... THEN the final fight scene takes place OFF CAMERA! WTF?!!?!?!?!?!? Then there is the final final final final rescue. Holy crap dude, seriously?
Not to mention the massive plot holes. If the redhead chick was in "the family", why did they kill her? Shouldn't she have to reproduce? I thought that was the whole plot of the movie?
Also, how were people able to breath under all that mud? Seriously...didn't think that one through at ALL.
Then there were REAL gators, and the gator-man "Creature". Why did they care that real gators were attacking people, when the movie is about a monster about? They didn't even try to tie those together. At all. FAIL!
Don't see this in the theater. If you even want to see it, wait till it comes on Netflix streaming, its probably not even worth the $1 to Redbox it.
Well, unless you want to play a drinking game from it:
Every time someone takes off an article of clothing, drink.
Every time someone gets dismembered, drink.
Every time you are confused by the lack of plot, drink.
That alone should get you pretty toasted by the time you get about 1/2 way through.
Dr.Epic
2011-09-09, 12:51 PM
But that's the point. It's supposed to be bad so you can make fun of it.
H Birchgrove
2011-09-09, 01:08 PM
I saw a film with my two mates that ripped this type of films. "[FillInProtagonistsName] vs. the Evil" was its title. The best part about it that it wasn't the young adults that were the heroes, but the two stoopid locals.
Fera Tian
2011-09-09, 05:11 PM
4/30 is a pretty bad score, damn
Kindablue
2011-09-09, 05:28 PM
I saw a film with my two mates that ripped this type of films. "[FillInProtagonistsName] vs. the Evil" was its title. The best part about it that it wasn't the young adults that were the heroes, but the two stoopid locals.
Tucker & Dale vs Evil. The trailer looks funny, but I haven't seen it yet.
Dr.Epic
2011-09-09, 05:33 PM
4/30 is a pretty bad score, damn
You average the scores, not add the denominators and numerators separately.
Kindablue
2011-09-09, 05:42 PM
You average the scores, not add the denominators and numerators separately.
Isn't that the same thing, though?
Dr.Epic
2011-09-09, 05:50 PM
Isn't that the same thing, though?
No. You're not supposed to add the denominator, and you divide by the number of items/data.
Kindablue
2011-09-09, 05:55 PM
No. You're not supposed to add the denominator, and you divide by the number of items/data.
It's the same value (0.666666667/5 = 4/30), so what's the difference besides aesthetics?
Dr.Epic
2011-09-09, 06:08 PM
It's the same value (0.666666667/5 = 4/30), so what's the difference besides aesthetics?
It's not simplified.:smalltongue:
H Birchgrove
2011-09-10, 12:55 PM
Tucker & Dale vs Evil. The trailer looks funny, but I haven't seen it yet.
Ah yes, thanks for reminding me. It's a fun film, in a gallows humour sense. :smallbiggrin:
They still make plenty of b movies. Rotten tomatoes gives it a 6% so far. Be glad you didn't see Bucky Larson, they've given it a 0% rating.
Gamerlord
2011-09-11, 08:22 AM
I thought they stopped making B movies?
You don't watch the Sissy "SyFy" channel, do you? :smalltongue:
Serpentine
2011-09-11, 09:20 AM
If you wanna see a good B-Movie, check out Pirahnas 3D :smallbiggrin:
mootoall
2011-09-11, 11:28 AM
You don't watch the Sissy "SyFy" channel, do you? :smalltongue:
This was my first thought on seeing the title of the thread.
Keld Denar
2011-09-11, 01:16 PM
Sorry, I should have specified. I didn't know they still made big screen B movies anymore. I doubt they'll make back the publication and distribution costs with ticket sales, even if they do recoup production costs.
Creature has an estimated budget of 3 million dollars. It made 330,000 for friday and saturday, so it'll have to make up money on rental/sales unless it takes off as a cult film people can make fun of. And there is a large market for cheesy, bad movies you can make fun of. A b film doesn't need to generate 20+million in revenue the first week to get money back, as it's budget should never be over 5 or 10 mill (that's including advertising). For horror/monster movies you generally assume you won't make the money back on the big screen. That comes from dvd. Heck I know people going to see it just because they like Sid Haig.
omg it just set a record for bad openings
polity4life
2011-09-13, 06:36 AM
Hobo with a Shotgun anyone? I could have sworn it was a Troma film after seeing it (it's not).
It really is a great movie because the plot, the actors, the director, everyone and everything knows exactly what he/she/they/it are and aren't ashamed. It was made to be enjoyed at face value and it delivers.
Anyway, yes, creature films seem to have made a minor resurgence. At least they're better than nearly any given romantic comedy.
Keld Denar
2011-09-13, 10:53 AM
Plus: bewbies!
Anyone else think the redhead gal was really hot, despite her role being a little squickish?
Swordlol
2011-09-14, 08:35 AM
How the hell do these movies make money? This and Shark Night? I mean Shark Night apparently made 3.8 million last weekend - GAH what's wrong with people, the sooner people stop paying for these B movies; the sooner the potential B movie money might be pulled for a grand A movie.
And just for clarification I just know these from reading reviews.
Serpentine
2011-09-14, 09:04 AM
Hey, there are some great B-movies! Again: Pirahnas 3D is an awesome B movie.
How the hell do these movies make money? This and Shark Night? I mean Shark Night apparently made 3.8 million last weekend - GAH what's wrong with people, the sooner people stop paying for these B movies; the sooner the potential B movie money might be pulled for a grand A movie.
And just for clarification I just know these from reading reviews.
They have a built in audience. The major studios have all but abandoned horror/exploitation fans except for tame pg13 stuff or bad remakes. Low budget indie studios know its them or nothing, so the fans pretty much have to abandon movie going or accept what little is put out. In other words, there's little competition, so they don't feel the need to always be better than the next guy. Get an actor fans like (Sid Haig, Ron Perlman, etc), an effects team, and any script with lots of death and you're a go. If you can't get an actor fans like, get women willing to appear naked on camera. If you can't do either, you prolly shouldn't be doing horror films.
Plus lets be honest, fans of the genre are used to crap, particularly lazy writing. Producers have gotten used to the idea that horror fans want gore and intricate death scenes. They believe we're special effects junkies looking for an adrenaline rush, not story or plot. It's why horror writing has laziness built into it as a genre convention. Characters exist to get from death scene A to death scene B, because those scenes are what matters. Everything in between is either exposition to provide an explanation for whats happening, or comedy relief/sex/etc meant as filler. It's not like the old days when there were 5 new horror movies a week and you had to work to stand out from the crowd. Bad acting and effects i can forgive because I know you don't have the budget to pull off what you wanted. But bad writing and lazily going through the motions.
These days horror films are meant for quickie money, moreso even than before. Slap it together as quickly as possible, for as little as possible, because you've got 2 weekends to make that money back in theaters, because that's how long it'll be there. Studios and cineplexes have a deal: The first week a film is out the studio gets 80% of the ticket sales, the theater gets 20. For some films it's as low as 10. Each succeeding week the theater gets a bigger slice of the pie, so films whose box office drops sharply dont hang around. It's why you pay almost 10 bucks for a popcorn and coke of decent size. Even then it only plays in theaters to give you a taste for when the film comes out unrated on dvd or has some special directors cut, because for some reason people can't see past the cynical marketing ploy. "Wow t was crap in the theaters, but maybe that extra 10 minutes has something that will change my opinion or will be something hideous I couldn't see so the film could avoid an r". Of course when you watch it it's 10 minutes of scenes of the characters spouting lines like "Wow it's hot in Arizona."
Sorry for being ranty its been a bad day
Rappy
2011-09-14, 10:13 PM
Yeah, this movie's pretty bad, to say the least. And not in a really amusing way.
Also, in spite what the film hypers have said...no, as far as I can tell, we Louisianians don't have a real legend around an incest-born gator-man-thing. The closest we have is Letiche, but he's more akin to old "feral people" legends, and he certainly had nothing to do with backwoods incest.
If I want a good recent monster movie, I do believe I'll stick to Troll Hunter.
Arcane_Secrets
2011-09-15, 01:13 AM
They still make plenty of b movies. Rotten tomatoes gives it a 6% so far. Be glad you didn't see Bucky Larson, they've given it a 0% rating.
...I was trying to forget the commercials for that even existed. :smalleek:
Yeah, this movie's pretty bad, to say the least. And not in a really amusing way.
Also, in spite what the film hypers have said...no, as far as I can tell, we Louisianians don't have a real legend around an incest-born gator-man-thing. The closest we have is Letiche, but he's more akin to old "feral people" legends, and he certainly had nothing to do with backwoods incest.
If I want a good recent monster movie, I do believe I'll stick to Troll Hunter.
The Bridge scene was awesome!!
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