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Howler Dagger
2011-10-01, 08:46 PM
ok, here is a thread to list some of your favorite (or hated) RPG cliches.

#1: You all meet in a Tavern

#2: The evil horde is attacking! Grab your sticks and face off against overhwelming odds!

Doorhandle
2011-10-01, 09:27 PM
Against the overwhelming Odd? Man, you must have a weird D.M,
I only ever fought that guy twice! :smallbiggrin:

3) Alright, so we have the meatsheild, the healbot, the skill monkey and batman. I think we're fine.

4) Hey guys! What happens when i break this Sta-KRBOOOOOOM.

Chilingsworth
2011-10-01, 09:30 PM
5) The dragon wants to eat the distressed damsel, Save Her!

6) The king's vizer is a manipulative evil bastard, expose and destroy him!

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-01, 09:45 PM
7. I'm an orphan! My parents were killed by the BBEG!

Doorhandle
2011-10-01, 09:48 PM
8) MY PARENTS ARE DEAAAAAD!

9) My sword is bigger than Texas!

10) I'm a half X that exists in defiance of natural law!

11) It's magic, I don't have to explain ****!

Dr.Epic
2011-10-01, 11:20 PM
Female warriors never wear fully protective armor regardless of martial class and almost certain have calves, midriff, and/or cleavage exposed.

You're in a DUNGEON fighting a DRAGON. No wait, that's not a cliche; that's a lazy quest idea you get just from thinking of the RPG's name.

Knaight
2011-10-01, 11:20 PM
12) What do you mean, my powered armor doesn't interact with EMPs well?
13) I don't see why its fair that the unmanned drones can accelerate better than we can.

Golden Ladybug
2011-10-02, 12:20 AM
14) Uh oh, the NPC thats been helping you out is actually a spy for the BBEG.
15) You encounter a Gazebo

On Starting in a Tavern; my first game with a new group started in a forest, near a town. The players decided to head back to town, purely so they could go to the Tavern :smallconfused:

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-02, 12:23 AM
We're actually on 18. Dr.Epic needs to number his.

18. There's a princess. She's blonde, young, thin, and pretty. Now go rescue her from the dragon. They're in a cave in the middle of the countryside.

JohnnyCancer
2011-10-02, 01:27 AM
19. Orcs sacked my village.
20. The treasure is guarded by a menagerie of wildly divergent creature types that can't actually communicate with each other but coordinate perfectly.
21. The NPC werewolf/vampire hunter is actually a vicious werewolf/vampire.
22. I'm glad the villain didn't think to use that wand or potion he had among his possessions.

TehKrush
2011-10-02, 03:13 AM
The self-righteous Paladin preaching their god.

Silma
2011-10-02, 03:39 AM
18. There's a princess. She's blonde, young, thin, and pretty. Now go rescue her from the dragon. They're in a cave in the middle of the countryside.

Exactly!!! Why can't a princess be an ugly middle-aged hag for a change?


24. In a couple of days, PCs find loot and treasures that equal the monthly pay of a whole village of commoners.

Fiery Diamond
2011-10-02, 02:55 PM
18. There's a princess. She's blonde, young, thin, and pretty. Now go rescue her from the dragon. They're in a cave in the middle of the countryside.


Exactly!!! Why can't a princess be an ugly middle-aged hag for a change?


24. In a couple of days, PCs find loot and treasures that equal the monthly pay of a whole village of commoners.

Or at least a brunette. :smalltongue:

25. In order to defeat Lord Sir Baron Von McEvilson, you must find the legendary lost magical wonder of a more glorious utopian age that nonetheless had weapons of mass destruction and use it in a highly specific ritualized setting to complete an ancient prophecy about an orphan farmboy with a plucky female companion, wise old mentor, and cool best buddy becoming king, queen, advisor, and the new Lord Sir Baron, respectively.

... that might have been more than one.
... it might also have applied to fantasy novels.

Sith_Happens
2011-10-02, 03:03 PM
25. In order to defeat Lord Sir Baron Von McEvilson, you must find the legendary lost magical wonder of a more glorious utopian age that nonetheless had weapons of mass destruction and use it in a highly specific ritualized setting to complete an ancient prophecy about an orphan farmboy with a plucky female companion, wise old mentor, and cool best buddy becoming king, queen, advisor, and the new Lord Sir Baron, respectively.

... that might have been more than one.
... it might also have applied to fantasy novels.

Actually, I think it was all of them.:smallcool:

DrBurr
2011-10-02, 03:09 PM
26. Empires are Evil, Kingdoms and Republics are Good
27. All nobles are Jerks
28. All pirates have: Eye patches, Peg Legs, Hooks for Hands and/or Parrots
29. Elves are stuck up and better then you
30. Dwarves are Cave Dwellers who love booze, spend all day smithing or mining, use an Axe or Hammer, have Long Beards and speak in terrible Scottish/Irish/Norse Accents

Othesemo
2011-10-02, 03:11 PM
31. That NPC who ordered you to retrieve the artifact-of-poorly-explained capabilities so that he could save the world? He's actually using it to conquer the multiverse.

32. All powerful villains keep on hand gear perfectly tailored to the individual abilities of the PCs.

Fiery Diamond
2011-10-02, 05:08 PM
32. All powerful villains keep on hand gear perfectly tailored to the individual abilities of the PCs.

But of course! That's part of the prophecy, see... :smalltongue:

GoatToucher
2011-10-02, 05:27 PM
33: "Hey, look! A Deck of Many Things!" Campaign implodes.
34: The party's one evil character acts like a total douche and then calls metagaming when the rest of the party hates him.
35: Adventurers as amoral, thieving, murderous hobos.
35(a): Parties hating the Paladin because they have to curb their hobo ways.

Knaight
2011-10-02, 05:42 PM
36) Incredibly unstructured societies somehow manage to have organized militaries, and organized industrial complexes that can mass produce space craft.
37) All rebellions are completely and utterly in the moral right.

Maho-Tsukai
2011-10-02, 05:56 PM
38) The BBEG's character could be accurately described by reading the evil overlord list.
39) The BBEG is a Necromancer.
40) If the BBEG has a son, he is a tortured anti-hero or an ineffective starscream. No matter what.
41) If the BBEG has a daughter, she is an evil villainess. No matter what.
42) All corporations are evil.
43) All corporate executives are fat and/or old, evil, greedy, money grubbing *******s or young, smooth/charismatic, manipulative, power-hungry villains. If female they are never of the fat and old variety.
44) Any movement based in environmentalism is automatically always morally right.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-02, 08:48 PM
Exactly!!! Why can't a princess be an ugly middle-aged hag for a change?
Well, the young part I understand, since it's a princess, not a queen. But why can't she be of average weight or something?

Or at least a brunette. :smalltongue:
Actually, I've seen a couple of brunettes, like in the Mario games there's Peach's cousin Princess Daisy. But I've never seen a black-haired princess, unless you count Asians, who all have black hair.

41) If the BBEG has a daughter, she is an evil villainess. No matter what.

And always subject to the Evil is Sexy trope. And if any of the villains do a Heel Face Turn, is going to be her doing a High Heel Face Turn.

Knaight
2011-10-02, 09:03 PM
Well, the young part I understand, since it's a princess, not a queen. But why can't she be of average weight or something?

If the queen has sisters, they will be classified as princesses. Young is not mandatory.

Daedroth
2011-10-03, 06:49 AM
40) If the BBEG has a son, he is a tortured anti-hero or an ineffective starscream. No matter what.



45) The BBEG is your father!

hewhosaysfish
2011-10-03, 07:25 AM
If the queen has sisters, they will be classified as princesses. Young is not mandatory.

Well, if we're talking about cliches here, the princess has to be the kings daughter and only child such that the brave dragon-slaying hero who marries her can become the hier to the throne.

EDIT:

And dragon-distressed princesses who appear in RPGs will follow this pattern despite the fact that none of the PCs ever actually *will* marry her.

Chilingsworth
2011-10-03, 07:50 AM
46) Characters can carry an arsenal worth of weapons and a megamart worth of items without being encumbered (aka "hyperspace armory.")

the_fencer0
2011-10-03, 08:54 AM
47) Renegade drow. Enough said.

Also, I win:
(48 through 240, if you will.)
http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

MrCreeky
2011-10-03, 11:03 AM
48)Elves always look girly, manly elves don't exist
49) Female dwarves are hugely outnumbered by male dwarves

DrBurr
2011-10-03, 11:25 AM
50. Even though death is cheap, no one ever resurrects the recently assassinated King
51. Humans are Average
52. Wizards are old men with long beards, Sorcerors are crazy youngsters
53. Adventurers Always get drunk at the Tavern even Clerics and Paladins

navar100
2011-10-03, 11:53 AM
54. There will always exist one area ruled by Human Women where Men are third class citizens, if they are citizens at all if not slaves or food.

55. Elves can travel anywhere in humans lands. Humans cannot set foot anywhere in Elven lands.

56. If a PC is a halfling, he's a rogue.

57. If a PC is a gnome, he's a rogue or illusionist.

58. If a PC is a dwarf, he's a fighter or cleric.

59. If a PC is an elf, he's a wizard or bow-using ranger.

60. There once was a Great Empire long ago that had united all the lands in peace and harmony. The Emperor died. His descendants squabbled for the throne instead of accepting thousands of years of tradition of who ascends the throne. Civil war ended the Great Empire.

61. Stories of NPCs past always allow for acts and abilities no PC can ever achieve by normal rules.

62. D&D specific: Vecna, Orcus, Lloth, and Asmodeous must always come back from "death" or gain power. They always "win". Good deities can die willy nilly.

drakir_nosslin
2011-10-03, 03:33 PM
63: The fighter is either a power- and leap-attacking charger or a (spiked) chain wielding super-tripper.

64: Katanas...

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" *edit* that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system.

Das Platyvark
2011-10-03, 04:23 PM
This reminds me of a thread I once saw...

Maho-Tsukai
2011-10-03, 04:32 PM
65) BBEGs will always have powers that are seemingly beyond the scope of their class(es)' mechanical abilities..IE The Necromancer Specialist Wizard with a large Undead Army.

66) Anything that is dragon-like in form, comes from a dragon or is an actual dragon will be absurdly powerful or at least give the appearance of such in-game.

67) If there is any kind of oriental-themed land/campaign setting/world in the RPG, expect there to be at least one Kitsune or Kitsune-like race in that land/campaign setting/world.

68) Every primarily good aligned party will have at least one token evil or token neutral who really should be evil but isn't PC. Even if that party has a Paladin.

68) Conversely, every primarily evil aligned party will never under any circumstances have somebody who is not evil among their ranks. Even if they are a non-evil stuiped party.

69) The chaotic alignment is primarily used as excuse for a character to be insane, annoying, Kender-esc or "neutral"(As in they are listed as netural on the good/evil axis on their sheet but in all honesty should be listed as evil.). Or any combination of those. Chaotic characters who are not any of those things are EXTREMELY rare and a sign of prodigious RPing skill.

KineticDiplomat
2011-10-03, 05:01 PM
A wonderful theory on katanas, neatly disproven by the fact that the lacquered armor common to the period could and did turn them. Not necessarily a paul bunyon chop, but a lot of the less direct strikes.

As for WWII, I'd imagine its more because some dumb SOB running across the field with a sword is easy killing, and everyone has always loved killing an enemy officer.

GoatToucher
2011-10-03, 05:05 PM
70: Every homebrew system and its sister having one (or more) anthro-animal core races.

Dr.Epic
2011-10-03, 06:45 PM
18. There's a princess. She's blonde, young, thin, and pretty.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110916025321/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/0/02/Bubblegum.png

I resent that statement.


Now go rescue her from the dragon. They're in a cave in the middle of the countryside.

http://images.wikia.com/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/7/78/Ice_King.png

Dragon? What are you talking about?

navar100
2011-10-03, 08:37 PM
71. The bad guys always have full hit points. Their spellcasters always have the right spells they need for the combat.

72. When you make a listen check by a door, down a hallway, down a cavern, etc., you never learn the information you want for the purpose of making the listen check. That is, you never learn what type of creatures and how many there are. You only ever hear nothing, water dripping, bangs, growls, or shuffling. (insert thesaurus)

73. There will exist a trap that only affects those who have stepped away from the rogue when he attempted to search or disable it.

74. There will exist a very large diamond that is priceless. The party will never, ever keep it because it's the McGuffin Key which disappears or otherwise destroyed when used.

75. There will exist a very large treasure hoard the party has no means of carrying with them as they continue exploring the dungeon. Someone in the party will say "We'll take it with us when we leave." The party moves on. The party never goes back to get that treasure. Either the dungeon is collapsing upon adventure end and they must rush out quickly, or at some point during the adventure, possibly the end but not necessarily, the exit out of the dungeon must happen for some reason that does not include available time to go back and get that treasure.

76. Only bad guy NPCss illusions work perfectly upon players just accepting the situation they're in with no calls for saving throws by the DM. When a PC casts an illusion of a situation, all bad guy NPCs get immediate saving throws.

DrBurr
2011-10-03, 08:57 PM
77. Dream Sequences always shows where the DM/GM want the campaign to go but never will
78. Someone always has a Sword even if no one is a Fighter or Paladin
79. Bows never run out of Arrows
80. Wizards have an endless gallery of spells to choose from but will always use the same load out every day
81. The Bard is always silly and will use a Lute or Lyre

Okizruin
2011-10-03, 09:04 PM
71. The bad guys always have full hit points. Their spellcasters always have the right spells they need for the combat.

72. When you make a listen check by a door, down a hallway, down a cavern, etc., you never learn the information you want for the purpose of making the listen check. That is, you never learn what type of creatures and how many there are. You only ever hear nothing, water dripping, bangs, growls, or shuffling. (insert thesaurus)

73. There will exist a trap that only affects those who have stepped away from the rogue when he attempted to search or disable it.

74. There will exist a very large diamond that is priceless. The party will never, ever keep it because it's the McGuffin Key which disappears or otherwise destroyed when used.

75. There will exist a very large treasure hoard the party has no means of carrying with them as they continue exploring the dungeon. Someone in the party will say "We'll take it with us when we leave." The party moves on. The party never goes back to get that treasure. Either the dungeon is collapsing upon adventure end and they must rush out quickly, or at some point during the adventure, possibly the end but not necessarily, the exit out of the dungeon must happen for some reason that does not include available time to go back and get that treasure.

76. Only bad guy NPCss illusions work perfectly upon players just accepting the situation they're in with no calls for saving throws by the DM. When a PC casts an illusion of a situation, all bad guy NPCs get immediate saving throws.

Those are Killer GM clichés, not regular RPG clichés.

Doorhandle
2011-10-04, 06:37 AM
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110916025321/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/0/02/Bubblegum.png

I resent that statement.



http://images.wikia.com/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/7/78/Ice_King.png

Dragon? What are you talking about?

Well obviously, that show isn't cliche.

And you could replace dragon with almosty any other form of villain really. likewise with blonde.

Morty
2011-10-04, 06:56 AM
82. There will always be a land far away to the east that's either feudal Japan with serial numbers filed off or a strange mish-mash of Japan, China and some other Asian cultures.
83. If a character comes from the aforementioned land, a katana is mandatory. No questions or exceptions.
84. Likewise, there will invariably be a culture closely resembling the Scandinavians and one resembling Arabs.
85. Non-human races will have homogenic, monolithis cultures and religions no matter how spread around the world they may be.
86. There will be non-human races labeled as "evil" and serving as cannon fodder for the villains.

Silma
2011-10-04, 07:24 AM
52. Wizards are old men with long beards, Sorcerors are crazy youngsters


Well, this has a logic behind it. Wizards gain their powers through study, so a high-level wizard must be of old age to have mastered all those spells.
Sorcerers on the other hand, possess powers that are instinctive by nature, so a high level sorcerer can easily be young or old. I'm guessing the reason they are usually young, is because an older sorcerer would have gained enough wisdom over the years as to have mastered his powers to a decree. So if you want a crazy guy, who will attack the party for no obvious reason, he will most likely be young.

DrBurr
2011-10-04, 01:03 PM
Well, this has a logic behind it. Wizards gain their powers through study, so a high-level wizard must be of old age to have mastered all those spells.
Sorcerers on the other hand, possess powers that are instinctive by nature, so a high level sorcerer can easily be young or old. I'm guessing the reason they are usually young, is because an older sorcerer would have gained enough wisdom over the years as to have mastered his powers to a decree. So if you want a crazy guy, who will attack the party for no obvious reason, he will most likely be young.

Though its rooted in logic Its still a Cliche, You can play a young wizard in training or an Ancient Sorcerer, but typically they'll be old and young respectively. Though some exceptions apply

Notreallyhere77
2011-10-04, 04:40 PM
82. There will always be a land far away to the east that's either feudal Japan with serial numbers filed off or a strange mish-mash of Japan, China and some other Asian cultures.
83. If a character comes from the aforementioned land, a katana is mandatory. No questions or exceptions.
84. Likewise, there will invariably be a culture closely resembling the Scandinavians and one resembling Arabs.
85. Non-human races will have homogenic, monolithis cultures and religions no matter how spread around the world they may be.
86. There will be non-human races labeled as "evil" and serving as cannon fodder for the villains.

Guilty. Except for 85. But, in my defense, I combined Japanese with Scandinavians for my current (and possibly permanent) campaign world, so it's a little original, at least.

GoatToucher
2011-10-04, 05:03 PM
Guilty. Except for 85. But, in my defense, I combined Japanese with Scandinavians for my current (and possibly permanent) campaign world, so it's a little original, at least.

Luttefiske sushi?

Silma
2011-10-04, 06:28 PM
87. The world is widely populated by humans, elves were once the most powerful race, but have now lost their power, and dwarves are cave dwellers whose tradition is partially lost, partially guarded from other races.

GenericGuy
2011-10-04, 07:29 PM
Clichés I dislike

88. There are no females of the “monstrous races” (orcs, trolls, etc.), or at least if they exist the party will never encounter them.

89. If there is a power struggle between feuding siblings of the opposite sex, the sister will be good and the brother evil.

90. I’m half-human half-some other race, and was discriminated against by stupid small time human villagers.

90a. If half “monstrous race,” my horrible inhuman father raped my mother. It’s never an inverse of the genders, or a “coupling” based on anything but violence.

90b. If half “pretty race,” my awesome supernatural father fell in love with plain Jane human girl (despite having centuries of experiences something about her is just “special”), but she died and he for some reason left me to live with my abusive relatives. Luckily will meet again, and be so happy to be together, I won’t resent him for being a selfish jerk.

91. All offspring are the result of love or hate. No children are ever born from one night stands, drunken flukes, or “boredom.”

92. Magic is real, yet society hasn’t done much to compensate for this reality (ex. castles aren’t nearly as effective if flying beasts or highly maneuverable fireball slingers are common).

93. Any attempt to regulate or limit magic user from totally dominating society is morally wrong, and quickly invokes Godwin’s law.

Lord Vampyre
2011-10-04, 08:18 PM
90a. If half “monstrous race,” my horrible inhuman father raped my mother. It’s never an inverse of the genders, or a “coupling” based on anything but violence.

I'm so glad JK Rowling went against this cliche with Hagrid.


90b. If half “pretty race,” my awesome supernatural father fell in love with plain Jane human girl (despite having centuries of experiences something about her is just “special”), but she died and he for some reason left me to live with my abusive relatives. Luckily will meet again, and be so happy to be together, I won’t resent him for being a selfish jerk.

The Lord of the Rings, just seems to go against this particular cliche'. Although, quite a few of the other cliches seem to stem from Lord of the Rings. I.E. Aragorn and Arwen

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-04, 08:26 PM
Aragorn

He even has a trope! (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheAragorn)

navar100
2011-10-04, 10:59 PM
94. It's the goddess of Love, god of War.

95. The desert kingdom has slavery.

96. Party needs to travel by boat. Naturally they can't afford the fare so must work for passage.

97. Party of some level below 5 must guard a caravan. It will absolutely be attacked.

98. Party travels by boat. It will be attacked by pirates and/or attacked by a sea monster or creatures of the sea and/or there's a big storm.

99. DM passes notes to players that don't mean anything other than to spook players who don't get notes. Sometimes players give the notes to the DM.

100. Players will at some point say out of character "I attack the Darkness!" May replace with a Monty Python reference.

Silma
2011-10-04, 11:08 PM
Who the heck is this Monty Python everyone keeps talking about?

Chilingsworth
2011-10-04, 11:51 PM
Who the heck is this Monty Python everyone keeps talking about?

Incase you aren't joking: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Python)

Examples of their work:

Dead Parrot: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218)

Spam: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_eYSuPKP3Y)

Black Knight: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno)

Back on Topic:

101: The dungeon that seems designed for absolutely no practical purpose.

Yanagi
2011-10-05, 12:45 AM
102. Any "Oriental" culture will have capital-h Honor. This will substitute for character depth, meaningful conflict, and most personality traits.

103. Non-European fantasy environments are stuck at the tech level of their historical models. The fake Aztecs never manage to get past obsidian....

Maho-Tsukai
2011-10-05, 08:07 AM
104) Lizardmen are all evil, baby-eating barbaric swamp dwellers who speak in ssssssssssnaketalk and have little-no technology that want to eat you OR are evil, baby-eating, barbaric space aliens who speak in sssssssssssnaketalk and have highly advance technology that want to take over the galaxy/universe. The space alien kind may also be shapeshifters.

105) If a plant is bigger then your typical house or garden plant and is not a tree of some kind, chances are it's going to try and eat you.

106) Every town has a dungeon of some kind hidden within it. Whether it be the creepy basement of the rich guy's manor, the monster-infested sewers of the slums, the ancient ruins just outside of town or something else similar it just seems that no matter where you go there is always some kind of dungeon.

107) Anybody with strangely-colored or strangely-styled hair is either a PC, major villain or very important NPC.

108) Monsters are everywhere. Yes, even there. Monsters roam all over every corner of the world yet somehow mankind survives.....werid.

Dimers
2011-10-05, 08:40 AM
109.) Gods' areas of influence never overlap. There can't be two gods of death, for example.

110.) You will encounter doors that are unpickably locked, can't be moved with any physical force, are immune to magic, are immune to damage, and prevent teleportation from working. Never mind that the investment necessary to make this would suffice to fund the BBEG's entire plan years ago if s/he hadn't spent it on a door ... and never mind the fact that it couldn't possibly be created using the magic, technology and artisanship available to mortals.

111.) No member of the royal family is ever homosexual.

navar100
2011-10-05, 08:56 AM
109A - Except Magic

112) Every city has a Black Market.

Yanagi
2011-10-05, 09:17 AM
113) Kidnapped princes apparently have no tactical worth, since adventurers are never sent after them. Most of them have Stockholm Syndrome by now.

114) Magic is for offense and defense. Wizards don't do infrastructure improvement or civil engineering.

Emmerask
2011-10-05, 09:34 AM
82. There will always be a land far away to the east that's either feudal Japan with serial numbers filed off or a strange mish-mash of Japan, China and some other Asian cultures.
84. Likewise, there will invariably be a culture closely resembling the Scandinavians and one resembling Arabs.


Yep pretty much, but don´t forget the scots, you always need the scots ^^

Morty
2011-10-05, 11:00 AM
Yep pretty much, but don´t forget the scots, you always need the scots ^^

The Dwarves cover that part.



93. Any attempt to regulate or limit magic user from totally dominating society is morally wrong, and quickly invokes Godwin’s law.

Collorary:
115) Prejudice against magic will always be based on closed-mindedness, not actual fear of people who can blow up your head with a blink.

Furthermore:

116) A person's importance to the plot can be usually gauged by their name. Important people will have unique names whereas unimportant ones will have common, everyday names.
117) In a similar vein, you can forget about the names following some theme based on nationality, race and language.

Maho-Tsukai
2011-10-05, 12:42 PM
118) UNLESS your in an anime-inspired setting, in which case EVERYBODY will have, at the least, a Japanese-esc last name, if not an entirely Japanese name even if they look in no way Japanese(See: Rufas SHINRA). The exception to this is main characters for whom the importance of uniqueness trumps the importance of Japanese-ness in such settings.

119) ANOTHER exception to 117 is any fantasy world/land/setting based on a non-western society, in which case ALL characters, and even major cities will have stereotypical non-western ethnic names or totally made up jibberish names made to sound remotely like they come from the non-western culture that setting is trying to emulate.

Spiryt
2011-10-05, 01:02 PM
119) ANOTHER exception to 117 is any fantasy world/land/setting based on a non-western society, in which case ALL characters, and even major cities will have stereotypical non-western ethnic names or totally made up jibberish names made to sound remotely like they come from the non-western culture that setting is trying to emulate.

See also Riddle of Steel setting, and Sarmatov capital named.... Capidal (Stoliza (http://translate.google.pl/#pl|en|stolica))... :smallbiggrin:

Though then it applies to pretty much everything non-english, not just non Western.

Notreallyhere77
2011-10-05, 02:24 PM
Luttefiske sushi?

Try Viking Martial Artists (http://frost7.deviantart.com/art/Viking-Martial-Artist-168613176) and Viking Samurai (mounted, of course), and longships with oriental dragons in front. Also, that classic japanese art with all the waves (yes, I know the story)? There's a kraken in most of them.
But yeah, big burly bearded guys in japanese armor with axes and katanas.

Also, the ogres are Egyptian, the dwarves are celtic/hebrew, and the goblins are ex-fey, just like elves.

Getting pictures of egyptian ogres is astonishingly difficult, though.

Morty
2011-10-05, 03:29 PM
120) If an elf is a melee fighter, he or she will use paired swords, daggers or a sword and dagger. Finding an elf using a two-handed weapon or a shielf is highly unlikely, as is finding one that uses anything other than a sword.
121) Same applies to dwarves and axes or hammers.

Chaos rising
2011-10-05, 04:03 PM
122) Shopkeepers are always strong enough to defeat you if you try to steal anything, and yet cannot be bothered to fix the towns problems themselves.

123) If the BBEG offers you a chance to work for him, it is ALWAYS a trap.

124) In caves, there will always be monsters that drop down on you from the ceiling.

125) Despite being a warlike and widespread race, goblin raiding parties will often die like lemmings when fighting a handful of novice adventurers.

Yanagi
2011-10-05, 04:37 PM
126) At least one evil ugly race will be described as a horde.

Dr.Epic
2011-10-05, 04:54 PM
127) All dwarves are (borderline) alcoholics. And all dwarves (regardless of gender) have a beard.

Vorpalbob
2011-10-05, 05:20 PM
And all dwarves (regardless of gender) have a beard.

I know SOO many people who would argue that to hell and back.

Delusion
2011-10-05, 05:35 PM
I know SOO many people who would argue that to hell and back.

Doesn't stop it from being a cliche though.

128) Any society ruled by a spell-caster is always either a complete Dystopia or Utopia, with no middle ground. The Utopia requires the ruler to be Queen.

Dr.Epic
2011-10-05, 05:39 PM
I know SOO many people who would argue that to hell and back.

But would they argue to the Abyss, Hades, Hel, and Tartarus and back?:smallwink:

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-05, 05:55 PM
But would they argue to the Abyss, Hades, Hel, and Tartarus and back?:smallwink:

If you're talking about the evil-aligned planes, it's Hell, not Hel. If you're talking about myths, I don't think the Abyss is in any mythologies, and you forgot Duat.

Knaight
2011-10-05, 06:48 PM
112) Every city has a Black Market.

That isn't necessarily unrealistic. Some sort of criminal, under the table trade is to be expected basically everywhere.

navar100
2011-10-05, 06:59 PM
129) The party has defeated numerous BBEGs, saved thousands if not millions of lives from their wrath. Party enters a city. They are treated as nobodies.

130) A Red Dragon and a Gold/Silver Dragon set the party onto some task. Upon completion of the task, the party must decide to side with/give something to one of the dragons. Choose correctly, all is well. Choose wrongly, everyone is doomed. The Red Dragon will be the correct choice.

131) There will exist a scenario where one always tells the truth, one always lies, you get one question.

Accordion Twome
2011-10-05, 07:34 PM
132: one player will always want to be a drow, mind flayer, ogre mage ect.

Dr.Epic
2011-10-05, 07:35 PM
132: one player will always want to be a drow, mind flayer, ogre mage ect.

Or all three at once.:smallwink:

FatJose
2011-10-05, 08:51 PM
64: Katanas...

I choked on my soda...

#133 Vampires and other creepy things always inhabit was is basically Scary Romania.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-05, 09:05 PM
I choked on my soda...

You don't know about that page on 4chan?

To be fair to katanas, you should add like, 100 gp to the price for an extra 5 hardness. And all bastard swords should deal 1d12 damage anyway, so that they're worth a feat.

FatJose
2011-10-05, 09:20 PM
You don't know about that page on 4chan?

To be fair to katanas, you should add like, 100 gp to the price for an extra 5 hardness. And all bastard swords should deal 1d12 damage anyway, so that they're worth a feat.

I don't visit 4Chan. As for katanas, they kind of suck in comparison to people's expectations. Saying an entire kind of sword is superior because they are good "now" in comparison to swords that were almost as good 500 years in the past isn't fair. But they should be different...because of the simple fact that they are. And MW Bastard sword is both a jerk move towards people who favor katanas "and" the folks who want to make a badass Bastard sword wielder.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-05, 09:39 PM
I don't visit 4Chan.

Neither do I. But you've been here four years longer than I have and haven't seen it linked or referenced?

FatJose
2011-10-05, 09:56 PM
Neither do I. But you've been here four years longer than I have and haven't seen it linked or referenced?

What, the site itself or is that block of text about katanas from the site?

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-05, 10:02 PM
What, the site itself or is that block of text about katanas from the site?

I'll just leave this here. (http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Katanas_are_Underpowered_in_d20)

Also, best. Post. Ever.

Duct Tape is Underpowered in d20

That's it. I'm sick of all this "150ft Rope" bull**** that's going on in the d20 system right now. Duct Tape deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself bought a genuine roll of Duct Tape from Wal-Mart for 600 pennies (that's about $6) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even build skyscrapers of solid steel with my Duct Tape.
Underpaid factory machines spend minutes working on a single roll of Duct Tape and roll it up to a million times to produce the finest adhesive tape known to mankind.
Duct Tape is thrice as powerful as rope and thrice as thin for that matter too. Anything a rope can bind, Duct Tape can bind better. I'm pretty sure Duct Tape could easily bind a knight wearing full plate with a simple 3 layer wrap.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Wal-Mart? That's right, they were too scared to fight the elderly door greeters and their Duct Tape of binding. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with Duct Tape first because their prisoner taking power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Duct Tape is simply the best holding item that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Duct Tape:
(70 foot roll) up to 1000lbs of weight indefinitely 2000lbs for 6d10+4 turns 45DC strength escape Counts as Masterwork
(200ft "Value" roll) OVER NINE-THOUSAND pounds indefinitely 100,000lbs for d10 months 75DC strength escape Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the binding power of Duct Tape in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Duct Tape need to hold more weight in d20, see my new stat block.

Paseo H
2011-10-06, 05:29 AM
37) All rebellions are completely and utterly in the moral right.

Though I tend to believe in this myself, I'm actually subverting it in my game. It's not that the powers that be aren't pure evil, it's that the leaders of the revolution might be willing to sink as low to fight them.

For example, one of my npcs is an 'anarchist' from Planescape, she uses her power to disguise herself as a member of another faction to disguise herself as a Harmonium and engage in acts of police brutality against innocents, or even allies (such as fellow anarchists or other freedom minded factions) in order to make the Harmonium look bad.

She falls into the "Started out like Robin Hood but went off the slippery slope" variety of Chaotic Evil.

Dr.Epic
2011-10-06, 06:14 AM
Halflings, while their favored class is rogue, are never evil and are merely playful tricksters that don't cause any real harm.

Howler Dagger
2011-10-06, 09:18 AM
#135: Dwarves, despite there name meaning someone small, are always "medium" sized, equal to humans, despite the fact that gnomes and halflings are small sized.

The Glyphstone
2011-10-06, 09:22 AM
#135: Dwarves, despite there name meaning someone small, are always "medium" sized, equal to humans, despite the fact that gnomes and halflings are small sized.

Isn't that excused by the fact that dwarves are usually about as wide as they are tall, and so have the mass/striking power/reach of a Medium creature? They also tend to be right on the minimum line of the Medium size category (conveniently).

Lord Raziere
2011-10-06, 09:28 AM
Or at least a brunette. :smalltongue:

25. In order to defeat Lord Sir Baron Von McEvilson, you must find the legendary lost magical wonder of a more glorious utopian age that nonetheless had weapons of mass destruction and use it in a highly specific ritualized setting to complete an ancient prophecy about an orphan farmboy with a plucky female companion, wise old mentor, and cool best buddy becoming king, queen, advisor, and the new Lord Sir Baron, respectively.

... that might have been more than one.
... it might also have applied to fantasy novels.

-1: You must destroy the weapons of mass destruction from a long gone dystopian age in order to defy a fake prophecy made up by the old mentor who is actually a scheming bastard who manipulated events so that orphan farm boy is a vengeance-obsessed prince-wannabe brat that wants to take down the greatest most benevolent empire ever.

(not a cliche, but....oh well, I like it better than cliches.)

NOhara24
2011-10-06, 09:41 AM
9) My sword is bigger than Texas!



Hey man, at an extra d6 per attack, at least this cliche serves a purpose.

FatJose
2011-10-06, 10:15 AM
#135: Dwarves, despite there name meaning someone small, are always "medium" sized, equal to humans, despite the fact that gnomes and halflings are small sized.

That's because dwarves as mythical creatures came first and the condition of dwarfism was named after them. In myth dwarves weren't always described as short either. In some cases they are indistinguishable from elves.

Klorox
2011-10-06, 12:14 PM
94. It's the goddess of Love, god of War.

And in the mythologies of any real world humans, was it any different?

charcoalninja
2011-10-06, 02:14 PM
Athena says hello :P

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-06, 02:15 PM
Athena says hello :P

Aphrodite and Ares. Or Venus and Mars, since Mars is more warlike, less bloodthirsty.

Lord Il Palazzo
2011-10-06, 02:22 PM
Aphrodite and Ares. Or Venus and Mars, since Mars is more warlike, less bloodthirsty.Those are the first to come to mind, but at the same time, quoting wikipedia:

In Greek mythology Athena, Athenê, or Athene, also referred to as Pallas Athena/Athene, is the goddess of wisdom, courage, inspiration, civilization, warfare, strength, strategy, female arts, crafts, justice and skill.Ares may be the god of war, but he doesn't have a monopoly on the field.

razark
2011-10-06, 02:34 PM
Those are the first to come to mind, but at the same time, quoting wikipedia:
Ares may be the god of war, but he doesn't have a monopoly on the field.
To continue:

In Norse mythology, Freyja (Old Norse the "Lady") is a goddess associated with love, beauty, fertility, gold, seiðr, war, and death.

Just go here and search:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_war_deities
There's a lot of them.

navar100
2011-10-06, 06:19 PM
This!

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=217899

It's never a male only world, is it?

Corollary: D&D only:

It's ok to have Prestige Class prerequisite of female but not male with the but of course exception of Eunuch.

She-Woman Man Haters are always acceptable.

Sanguine
2011-10-06, 06:22 PM
And in the mythologies of any real world humans, was it any different?

Cupid. Can't remember what his Greek name is.

The Glyphstone
2011-10-06, 06:43 PM
Eros, I believe.

big teej
2011-10-06, 06:53 PM
Eros, I believe.

correct, my global literature class just finished our greek section a few weeks ago.


also where the term "erotic" is derived.


see also "lesbian" derived from the isle of lesbos

and "cretin" from the island of crete.

Accordion Twome
2011-10-07, 06:48 AM
136) The little old man will ALWAYS be able to take down the PCs,
:smallbiggrin:

navar100
2011-10-07, 06:44 PM
137) The lone survivor of an attack is nearly dead but able to talk to the party who come upon the scene, just long enough to say who attacked them, possibly why, and sometimes a request to get something or save someone. No amount of healing in the multiverse will prevent that NPC from dying right after.

Yanagi
2011-10-07, 08:29 PM
138) The female-only society will be presented as man-hating viragos, fluffy hippy chicks with vaguely New-Age sentiments, or a blend of the two. These are the only options.

139) Corollary: female-only societies only come into being through some kind of recognition of the irrelevance of men. Never tragedy, loss, unexplained anomaly, indifference, or a lifestyle choice that accepts that others will do things differently.

Howler Dagger
2011-10-09, 09:41 PM
140)Queendoms, if present, will always involve other nations(often kingdoms) grumbling about there existence, with many sexist overtones

Silma
2011-10-10, 09:53 AM
141) PCs always have something unique about them, like a prophecy/blessing/curse/unique power/bloodline/divinity. Or they are a custom race which is actually a blend of different races.

Morty
2011-10-10, 10:30 AM
142) However, this uniqueness rarely extends to professions. Good luck finding an Elven Barbarian or a Dwarf Sorcerer. PCs that happen to be of monstrous races are even more strict in this regard - orcs will inevitably be barbarians, goblins will be rogues, et cetera.

hamishspence
2011-10-10, 02:53 PM
Since 3rd ed, dwarves have had a bit more in the way of arcane magic. For example, one of the NPCs in the Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting book is a dwarf wizard.

Howler Dagger
2011-10-10, 03:27 PM
143) All PCs must be some form of humanoid, or someting similar

144)All non-humanoids will be seen as savage monsters worthy of gruesome death by random adventurers and/or hunters, and humanoids are civilised people, who should only be killed as a punishment for crime or in warfare.

145)All peopple who hunt humanoids are accused of genocide, and those that hunt moonsters are seen as the saviors of humanity

Morty
2011-10-10, 03:38 PM
Since 3rd ed, dwarves have had a bit more in the way of arcane magic. For example, one of the NPCs in the Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting book is a dwarf wizard.

True. It remains a cliche, though.

The Glyphstone
2011-10-10, 03:47 PM
Though the sub-cliche is that all Dwarf Wizards will work Rune Magic of some sort.

suhkkaet
2011-10-10, 07:55 PM
orcs will inevitably be barbarians, goblins will be rogues, et cetera.

My old DM had a NPC half-orc wizard, who was only able to cast spells due to his circlet of intellect (and other int-boosting items).
The half-orc wizard was also the head of a rather large arcane order. It was hilarious. :D

146) Dragon alignment is determined by the dragons color.

Howler Dagger
2011-10-12, 07:51 AM
147)Somehow, even though ressurection magic is available to PCs,the assasinated rulers with never ever get revived

Daedroth
2011-10-12, 08:16 AM
146) Dragon alignment is determined by the dragons color.


148) Outsiders alignment is determined by the type of wings and the presence or absence of horns.:smallwink:

Chilingsworth
2011-10-12, 08:26 AM
147) Outsiders alignment is determined by the type of wings and the presence or absence of horns.:smallwink:

Erinyes say hi. :smalltongue:

Dr.Epic
2011-10-12, 10:32 AM
The legendary, ancient weapon that can only defeat the Big Bad is always a sword.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-12, 11:37 AM
147)Somehow, even though ressurection magic is available to PCs,the assasinated rulers with never ever get revived


147) Outsiders alignment is determined by the type of wings and the presence or absence of horns.:smallwink:

...You got factotum'd by 20 minutes.

And Dr.Epic, please number yours.

Daedroth
2011-10-12, 12:37 PM
Erinyes say hi. :smalltongue:


Draconomicon true dragons say hi too. (Some of them are from similar color and diferent alignment (Batlle,Fang,Estigian,Rust are all brown)

Templarkommando
2011-10-13, 09:42 AM
63: The fighter is either a power- and leap-attacking charger or a (spiked) chain wielding super-tripper.

64: Katanas...



I see your folded steel blade and raise you a blade from Damascus!!!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damascus_steel

Dr.Epic
2011-10-13, 12:40 PM
I see your folded steel blade and raise you a blade from Damascus!!!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damascus_steel

Arguably not as good as Japanese katanas. That, and the original manufacturing technique has since been lost.

Spiryt
2011-10-13, 01:01 PM
I see your folded steel blade and raise you a blade from Damascus!!!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damascus_steel


Arguably not as good as Japanese katanas. That, and the original manufacturing technique has since been lost.


You guys really need to learn some memes. And it is me saying it, of all people.... :smalltongue:

LordFluffy
2011-10-13, 02:51 PM
149. A fighter or barbarian who is too dumb to tie his shoelaces, but is a tactical mastermind in the midst of pitched combat.
150. A character who resembles the esthetic of some recent film, even if the setting doesn't really stand for it (I'm a pirate. Yes, I realize we're going into dungeons under mountains. You didn't question the Spartan over there like this...)
151. Ridiculously powerful spellcasters who spend their time using world-shattering power to create essentially practical jokes.

Barbin
2011-10-13, 09:40 PM
152. 99.99999999999999999% of the time the PC bard will be an innocent little trickster.

Dr.Epic
2011-10-13, 09:50 PM
If there is a wizard (and there always is) he has to wear a long, flowing robe, a big pointy hat, and a beard that's the length of the average hobbit's height.

Silma
2011-10-14, 02:46 AM
If there is a wizard (and there always is) he has to wear a long, flowing robe, a big pointy hat, and a beard that's the length of the average hobbit's height.

Not really, I mean I've seen wizards with much shorter beards. :smallbiggrin:

navar100
2011-10-14, 08:10 AM
Not really, I mean I've seen wizards with much shorter beards. :smallbiggrin:

Future trend? Wears spectacles. Has a scar.
:smalltongue:

Silma
2011-12-20, 09:38 PM
154. The villain will always find a way to escape even though, he's been knocked unconscious, tied with a magical rope and stabbed 17 times, after being put on fire and having his head cut off.

horseboy
2011-12-21, 02:56 AM
138) 139) Corollary: female-only societies only come into being through some kind of recognition of the irrelevance of men. Never tragedy, loss, unexplained anomaly, indifference, or a lifestyle choice that accepts that others will do things differently.In mine they only have a 23% male birth rate, so they're too valuable to risk. They basically lived like drones before their culture was wiped out and they were enslaved by the humans.

155 Fighters that can't do anything but fight.

ZeroGear
2011-12-22, 03:24 AM
48)Elves always look girly, manly elves don't exist

Not the one in my campaign, especially after he took levels in Dragon Disciple.


59. If a PC is an elf, he's a wizard or bow-using ranger.

Said elf was a Duskblade, with a strength of 20, who wielded a Greatsword!


81. The Bard is always silly and will use a Lute or Lyre

My bard sang, though he was a little silly at times.


90a. If half “monstrous race,” my horrible inhuman father raped my mother. It’s never an inverse of the genders, or a “coupling” based on anything but violence.

Said bard had dragon blood from his great-great-great-grandmother, who was a song dragon. She married before she had kids.


91. All offspring are the result of love or hate. No children are ever born from one night stands, drunken flukes, or “boredom.”


Said bard had a very happy (and extensive) family, thank you very much.


152. 99.99999999999999999% of the time the PC bard will be an innocent little trickster.

Said bard wielded a longsword and shield, and could go toe-to-toe with a fighter while he inspired himself with song.

nhbdy
2011-12-22, 07:26 PM
140)Queendoms, if present, will always involve other nations(often kingdoms) grumbling about there existence, with many sexist overtones

144)All non-humanoids will be seen as savage monsters worthy of gruesome death by random adventurers and/or hunters, and humanoids are civilised people, who should only be killed as a punishment for crime or in warfare.


146) Dragon alignment is determined by the dragons color.


Ebberon says hi...


The legendary, ancient weapon that can only defeat the Big Bad is always a sword.

and in Ebberon has an artifact spear that was used by the gatekeepers... so it defies that one too!

Silma
2011-12-23, 01:47 AM
There may be exceptions, but those are still cliche :smallwink:

averagejoe
2011-12-23, 03:38 AM
The Mod they Call Me: Thread Necromancy.