The birds and the bees [Archive] - Giant in the Playground Forums

Kjata

2011-10-24, 08:50 AM

So, dealing with sex is (supposedly) a difficult part of raising a child. You don't want your daughter to get knocked up, and you don't want your son to be spreading baby batter all over the place. However, it seems to me people have an unrealistic idea about how to discuss this with their kids. They don't think young children can handle this.

I had "the talk" when I was roughly six. So, for basically as long as i can remember, I knew how everything worked. So when i was hitting puberty, i wasn't trying to figure this out. I knew how to make a baby, and how irresponsible it was.

It seems weird to me that people are so uncomfortable telling their kids. It's not like they can't handle it, and if you sit down and tell them they won't have misguided perceptions when they get older due to media.

For instance, I saw the Naked Gun when I was 7 or 8. Even at that age, i understood that the whole "full body condom" was... outrageous. I understood the joke at a very young age.

So yeah, what are your thoughts? When did you get the talk?

Eldan

2011-10-24, 09:35 AM

Kindergarten or earlier. I think I was about five years old at the time. I even had a very helpful picture book for little kids.
Not in all details, of course, I got the explanation on what a condom was, or how certain sexual techniques worked a lot later (sometime in elementary school, when he first had sex ed).

Raddish

2011-10-24, 09:53 AM

I never got any sort of 'talk'. It's done me no harm missing out on what would have been an awkward thing for me and whichever parent would have done it.

So based on my experience I don't think it's necesary in every occasion, it entirely depends on circumstance whether there should be a talk and if it would be awkward for either party involved.

Frozen_Feet

2011-10-24, 09:54 AM

I don't actually remember when these things were made clear to me. I know I've known for sure from 9-year-old when the topic was first tackled in school biology lessons. I don't recall ever getting a distinct talk from my parents or family, just that the information was never obfuscated or withheld from me. Ever since I became a teenager, my dad's been way too enthusiastic to talk about such matters at the most inappropriate times, and won't take the hint that I'll return to the topic when I actually get a partner, thank you very much. (And when I do, it damn well won't be his business. He might get an invitation to naming ceremony of my children, provided he's still alive and kicking then.)

Arminius

2011-10-24, 10:19 AM

My parents were massive prudes for religious reasons. In second grade, one of my friends(who's parents were more open about that sort of thing), told me about the intricacies of female anatomy. But I didn't believe him. At the time it just sounded too fantastical to me. After 3rd grade I was homeschooled and basically cut off from the world. I really found out about sex at age 13, when I accidentally discovered masturbation. I was rather weirded out about it, so I went to the medical dictionary and read up on it. I was relieved to discover that this sort of thing was normal. By the time my parents tried for the talk, I already knew everything as far as mechanics go. Unloading all the religious and emotional baggage is taking longer. Assuming I ever have kids, I intend to raise them more along the lines of the op's parents. All "protecting" your kids from reality does is leave them ignorant, confused, and barely able to exist autonomously when they do leave home.

Haruki-kun

2011-10-24, 11:11 AM

A bit like Arminus. My parents never taught me about sex because they sent me to a school "talk" (we all went together). The problem is that in this school talk the issue of sex was addressed starting with "when the sperm has been deposited in the female" and then proceeded to explain to me how the baby was formed in the woman's womb. I never got to the part on how the sperm is deposited in the first place.

When I was that age, I started to find an interest in watching American sitcoms in TV. I was already fluent in English and liked watching TV in that language, and I noticed that the phrase "have sex" came up a lot when watching Friends.

So... I pulled a Hermione. I did what I always did when in doubt: Consult a book. I also discovered a lot of things on my own and by reading, I didn't ask the Internet for a much longer time. Thanks to the book I found out more or less what sex was, even though I had no understanding whatsoever of female anatomy. That sort of thing I figured out later on. It was all research for me.

I think my biggest problem with all of this was not so much the issue of sex, but puberty. It was the sort of thing you don't talk about because it's "not proper". Nobody explained to me the changes that my body would start going through when I reached a certain age and they also didn't explain that not everyone went through said changes the same way or indeed at the same time. I knew males started growing hair in certain parts of their bodies, but I could not understand why I was not doing so in every part of my body, especially compared to other people my age. I was a late bloomer, and the fact that I had barely any chest or underarm hair when pretty much everyone around me did made me wonder if there was something wrong with me. At some point I figured maybe I was the type of male who didn't grow any hair. It turned out to be wrong, but I didn't find that out until a later age. :smalltongue:

Now, that's the "how things work" side of it. If by "the talk" you mean that, then I never really got it. I only learned from books and personal research. If by "the talk" you mean the "be safe and responsible" talk, I did get it. Sorta. At some point my parents figured I already understood how sex worked and gave me a quick talk. By "Quick" I mean I can quote it here:

When you have sex it's very important to be careful, know who you're doing it with, and protect yourself.

That was The Talk. At this point I was 16 or 17 I think. I got it again at age 22, before I went on my current study abroad program. Living in a different, more liberal culture, my father decided it was important to remind me. He figured he probably won't be able to stop me from having sex if I want to, so he just gave me "be careful and protect yourself". I notice he hesitates a lot. I understand it must be hard for him to bring this up, it used to be pretty hard for me, too. At this point, I just talk about it like a natural thing. Which it is.

Ravens_cry

2011-10-24, 11:22 AM

While I wasn't as young as the OP, I learned the physical details long before I was ready for the actual act. That's what you get when you are a voracious reader of anything up to and including the encyclopaedia.

Maxios

2011-10-24, 11:29 AM

KenderWizard

2011-10-24, 11:40 AM

Are there two of these threads?

Anyway, I found out about the anatomical side of things early and in the detail and focus provided by science encyclopaedias, of which I was given many. My mother was very open about answering questions, but I didn't ask any. This is why sitting down and having a Talk can be very beneficial, since I didn't know loads of things! Being in stifled Catholic school environment meant no sex ed but kids soak up a lot of stuff that isn't actually said. In this case, I soaked up "sex is bad and dirty". It's a very unhealthy way to do it, I think.

John Cribati

2011-10-24, 11:44 AM

I never got the talk. I did, however, find my parents' copy of The Joy of Sex when I was about 8/9. I have yet to ask if that was intentionally left where I (a curious child who loved to read everything he got his hands on) would be able to find it.

Haruki-kun

2011-10-24, 11:57 AM

My parents gave me the talk when I was fairly young. Of course, by that part, I did fairly understand what sex was due to television :smalltongue:.
Also? What's up with the Talk being called the Birds and the Bees? What do they have to do with anything related to the subject? :sigh:

Well, you know the "bees" pollinate the "flowers" and....

....It's just because people feel awkward when using the actual terms. :smallsigh:

Maxios

2011-10-24, 11:58 AM

Well, you know the "bees" pollinate the "flowers" and....

....It's just because people feel awkward when using the actual terms. :smallsigh:

...I now have disturbing mental images of two bees.

Derjuin

2011-10-24, 12:16 PM

Traab

2011-10-24, 12:25 PM

I hereby make the suggestion that The Birds and the Bees talk, be renamed to The Tab A and Slot B Talk. On a more serious note, I never got a talk. Not even an awkward or partial one. I figured it all out by getting past my internet filter at the age of 12 and finding all sorts of interesting sites that showed how things work. Also by finding an.... interesting set of polaroids on the side of the road when I was a bit younger than that.

Haruki-kun

2011-10-24, 01:50 PM

I never actually got the "talk", or at least an educational one, just a book tossed in my direction. It wasn't very helpful at all (out of 7 chapters, the first 5 were about male puberty/health, the 6th touched on female, and the 7th was about the "horrors" of sex). What I did get of a "talk" was a pretty mangled-up and awkward explanation about how I had to be "an adult" before I did "anything". Nothing else was really explained.

Pretty sure it's had a profound effect on my sexuality in some way, such as being incredibly nervous and *almost* adverse to it (sex) in general.

If I ever do adopt a child, I'll attempt to give them a much better talk than what my parents gave me. Protecting me from reality (or not caring? I can't tell) did nothing to help when it came down to brass tacks.

I probably would have appreciated at least that book. I didn't get anything thrown at me, I had a bunch of science/reference books and one of them had ONE page on human reproduction. That's all I got. It explained the overview....

I once asked my mom while watching Friends what Monica and Rachel were fighting over (it was the last condom). She just said that she wasn't sure if I was ready to hear about that. When she finally explained she said "It's this like... thing that men put over their... thingies. So that the girl doesn't get pregnant."

I guess I can partly blame myself for this: I never asked my parents how babies are made. Maybe I would have gotten a straight answer then.

EDIT: Then again, I didn't know there was a relation between how babies are made, in a woman, and the changes that I was going through as a man.

Strawberries

2011-10-24, 01:57 PM

Since I can remember, I knew that to make babies a man and a woman have to 'be together and want to have a child', so as far as I know I was never told any stories about babies being found under the cabbages or similar nonsense :smalltongue:.

I had a more detailed explanation of "tab A and slot B" when I was six or seven, and by eight, I knew everything there was to know about male and female phisiology and, most importantly, how my body worked. Which was a blessing, since I was 10 when I had my first menstruation, and I would have freaked out if I didn't knew about it in advance.

We had sex-ed at school around 12-13, I think, and that went a fair bit more in detail on condoms and the like - something my parents had glossed over (I think they had wanted to wait another bit for that :smallwink:)

Mando Knight

2011-10-24, 02:17 PM

...I never got "the talk." I had known the basics of fetal development for quite some time due to looking at science-y books lying around at home, but never bothered to fully derive the mechanics of what causes pregnancy. Instead, over the course of time, as my deductive skills grew, the clues slowly put themselves together.

Didn't even get the "look, kid, use a condom" bit because my family's rather conservative, so the understanding is that if I need to use one, I'm probably doing something wrong. The threat of disowning me has never been brought up and is unlikely, but Parental Disappointment is probably one of their strongest disciplining tools in the family...

Kjata

2011-10-24, 02:22 PM

Starwulf

2011-10-24, 02:44 PM

I never got "The Talk". I was fairly clueless until about 8th grade Sex-Ed class, which is the first time they really went in-depth on the whole subject matter. didn't particularly do me any harm. I have two girls, and I've already told my wife she gets to handle any sex-talks with them, but not until they are about 11-12(or when they get their first period, whichever comes first).

Edit: Actually, let me correct. I had read about sex in many books, but none of them actually went into detail, so I had no idea the process or anything.

Strawberries

2011-10-24, 02:53 PM

I have two girls, and I've already told my wife she gets to handle any sex-talks with them, but not until they are about 11-12(or when they get their first period, whichever comes first).

Augh, no. Please, I beg you to reconsider. Getting one's first period without knowing what's happening is scary. How would you feel if you suddently started bleeding and didn't know why? :smalleek: I knew it happened to some of my friends and believe me, it's something that leaves a trauma. Girls today can have their first period around nine: if I had daughters, I'd explain how things work around seven-eight.

Nix Nihila

2011-10-24, 02:54 PM

We just had this discussion in the LGBTA thread.

I never had "the talk". Although it appears as if I'm a little different than some of the other people in this thread who didn't have the talk.

I've known about sex for as long as I can remember. Not in the "special hug" sense either. My father had a lot of medical textbooks around that I liked to read when I was little, so I probably learned some stuff from there, but my parents also honestly answered any of the questions I had about sex, which I think was the most important factor.

Asta Kask

2011-10-24, 02:55 PM

Augh, no. Please, I beg you to reconsider. Getting one's first period without knowing what's happening is scary. How would you feel if you suddently started bleeding and didn't know why? :smalleek: I knew it happened to some of my friends and believe me, it's something that leaves a trauma. Girls today can have their first period around nine: if I had daughters, I'd explain how things work around seven-eight.

He should read Carrie. "Plug it up, plug it up, plug it up..."

Strawberries

2011-10-24, 03:12 PM

He should read Carrie. "Plug it up, plug it up, plug it up..."

Well, fortunately nothing like that. But a couple of friends told me afterwards that they thougt they needed to go to an hospital, and run to their parents crying. Not the right way a girl should have to live through an important step in her life, I think.

Starwulf

2011-10-24, 03:12 PM

He should read Carrie. "Plug it up, plug it up, plug it up..."

lmao, I've read Carrie.

In our school system, they apparently teach it in 5th grade, my wife says that's when she learned it, and no one explained it to her, she doesn't feel the need to do so for our daughter either. How do you explain to a 7 or 8 year old about bleeding from where you pee anyways?(Especially considering my oldest IS 8 years old, and believe me, she is NOT emotionally ready to hear about vaginal bleeding.)

I'm not a prude, and neither is my wife, but that is just not a talk I(or she) believes should be had at such a young age. If on the other hand, they come to us and ask about it, we'll explain, but not going to go out of our way to do so at this point in time.

The Dark Fiddler

2011-10-24, 03:22 PM

Never got the talk, 17 years old now. I think my parents have accepted that it's too late to teach me anything, because the closest thing I ever got was my mom asking me to proof-read a book she wanted to give to my brother (or maybe that was supposed to be the talk), but that was like a year ago.

Should I have kids (which I plan on, someday, but you never know what'll happen) I plan on answering any questions they have honestly. Dunno when I'll give them the talk, but I do plan on giving it at some point.

Edit: I should also mention that, in my junior year of high school, I still haven't had sex-ed. The closest thing to THAT was a quick mention of STDs in health... in 7th grade? No mention of how they were spread or protection, just mentioned. Looking back, it was idiotic.

Strawberries

2011-10-24, 03:31 PM

In our school system, they apparently teach it in 5th grade, my wife says that's when she learned it, and no one explained it to her, she doesn't feel the need to do so for our daughter either. How do you explain to a 7 or 8 year old about bleeding from where you pee anyways?(Especially considering my oldest IS 8 years old, and believe me, she is NOT emotionally ready to hear about vaginal bleeding.)

You know your daughter best, of course, but as I said, I was 10 when I got my period. Actually, barely 10, as I had celebrated my birthday about a week before - so I don't think 8 is too early to start explaining how things work.

The talk about periods I had was nothing too traumatic: my parents got a book with a nice picture of the female reproductive system, and it had also an handy diagram with all the phases of the woman's cycle. My mother told me about her first period, and she said "it may seem scary, but it happens to all the girls and it just means you're growing up". As I remember it, the idea of being "growing up" did wonders to offset the fear of bleeding from under there :smallwink: (my mum is a teacher, she used a bit of layman's psychology :smalltongue:)

Joran

2011-10-24, 03:55 PM

I have a one year old daughter.

We've already had the talk. I sat her on the bed, then explained how the bees sting the birds, and to stay the heck away from bees, I mean boys. She smiled at me and gurgled.

Really cuts down on the awkwardness in the future.

P.S. A boy in her Gymboree class grabbed her butt. I came pretty darn close to smacking him... But I realized that was probably child abuse :( No jury in the country would convict me!

Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll

2011-10-24, 04:03 PM

I never had 'the talk'. Not out of any special taboo on the subject: it just never really came up. I don't remember ever going "huh, I wonder how this works", I just kinda absorbed everything through, i dunno, osmosis or something.

Nowadays, they just assume that if I'm going to a party, I'm gonna have a condom just in case. Well, I assume they assume; as I said, I've hardly ever actually talked to my parents about sex at all.

Giggling Ghast

2011-10-24, 04:14 PM

As is the case with the vast majority of my knowledge, I pieced together what I know about sex from reading things I find on the ground.

Whiffet

2011-10-24, 04:21 PM

Traab

2011-10-24, 04:28 PM

Thats because the most traumatic part of puberty for boys is our voice cracking. :p Well, ok, that and the sheer terror of being called upon to stand up and answer a question at the wrong moment.

irenicObserver

2011-10-24, 05:00 PM

I think what a parent should consider is to stop making sex something it's not. That is to say that sex isn't something unnatural (and technically) disgusting. The problem with giving the talk is that people put too much baggage on sex and all it involves. It would behoove parents everywhere to consider this when informing their children on sexual matters; whenever they wish.

Sex is only as big a deal as you want it to be. If it's just casual sex, in a relationship or not, at least take the effort to be safe so you may prevent any unwanted consequences. Anyone who is being informed of sex must be duly informed of any and all consequences from having it. Anyone planning on sex must remain (initially if you are doing it regularly) conscious of all consequences that could become of intercourse.
One thing in my sex education was the large number of precautions one can take to prevent unwanted pregnancies, and that if you want it regularly taking those precautions should become a habit. When you have sex and gain any STDs or pregnancies it's your fault, you knew what would happen, reality doesn't magically change to make that not true just because it's the spur of the moment :smallannoyed:
If I ever do adopt a child, I'll attempt to give them a much better talk than what my parents gave me. Protecting me from reality (or not caring? I can't tell) did nothing to help when it came down to brass tacks.

No offense directed at you but this is a terrible move in the long run. "Protecting from reality" is not only inevitable but also another way of putting off the effort to tactfully explain the subject. So, yeah not caring is another way to describe it.

Runestar

2011-10-24, 05:02 PM

Never got the talk either. Raised in a fairly conservative Chinese family, and I guess it is taboo to discuss this sort of thing. Ending up learning everything I knew from the internet, both from scientific and ummm, more questionable sources. :smalltongue:

Objection

2011-10-24, 05:16 PM

I have vague recollections of being given a book about the human body in general that had about four pages on the male and female anatomy and there was a video we watched in the final year of primary school, and I think we had some other stuff at some point in secondary school. Unfortunately, my brain has not retained much information from those sources and I never had any talk. At the same time though, I never felt the need to ask any questions on the subject. Maybe I just figured that whatever happened to my body during my years at secondary school was perfectly normal and that there was no way I was ever getting involved with sex. Funnily enough, those have both turned out to be true so far.

Derjuin

2011-10-24, 05:16 PM

No offense directed at you but this is a terrible move in the long run. "Protecting from reality" is not only inevitable but also another way of putting off the effort to tactfully explain the subject. So, yeah not caring is another way to describe it.

No offense taken - by "protecting from reality" I meant "overprotecting", not just putting off certain topics until a child is old enough to understand/comprehend it. I can certainly understand waiting until they are old enough (though this is something that is probably tough to judge).

Though I'm getting the feeling that there's something else that affected me to have this sort of effect, so I can't necessarily blame just the lack of "the talk".

Jae

2011-10-24, 05:37 PM

I really cant remember the first time I ever heard of sex :smalleek: Is that weird??

I can remember bits and pieces of sexual things I learned on the playground, but like no explanation of how sex worked.. but I remember I already knew how it worked before hearing about it there??

But I mean.. my parents werent like shy to tell me really I remember my mom trying to have "the talk" with me in elementary school maybe I was 7 or 8...?? And I stopped her and said I already got it and I DID NOT want to talk about it lol to the point of covering my ears and going lalalalala. Which is also weird to me 1. that I learned elsewhere by 7 and 2. that I was soooo embarassed to talk about it at that young age.

hmmmm..

Mauve Shirt

2011-10-24, 05:44 PM

I never got the talk. I first remember knowing what sex was around 9 or 10, I don't remember learning it. The closest thing to a talk was a "Don't get pregnant." when I went off to college. :smalltongue:

Orzel

2011-10-24, 05:47 PM

Mutant Sheep

2011-10-24, 05:54 PM

Never had "the talk", and I don't think any of my older brothers had one either. Had the sex-ed class in late-5th grade, but everybody knew what it was already so the all-female teaching staff didn't strain themselves on explaining... anything. Except that you should wait and its bad and wait and don't do it until your 20 and wait. Mostly wait. :smalltongue: And wait.

Keld Denar

2011-10-24, 06:00 PM

I never really got the "talk". I learned most of what I know about sex from my mothers trashy Harlequin romance novels she kept in a huge box in the basement. Mommy Porn, as my current girlfriend calls em. All about "quivering loins" and "thrusting manhoods". LOL!

I did have an interesting chat with my father right before I went to college (I wasn't a virgin anymore anyway). Basically, he told me "never trust women, always take your protection into your own hands". Lot of good that did me...

Starwulf

2011-10-24, 06:19 PM

Never got the talk.

As my aunt/godmother is a guidance counselor, she let me read all her books and saw the videos :smalleek: on the process, pleasure, and precautions of human reproduction at age 7. Mercury is still one of my bottom 3 elements.

I'm doing the same with my kids if I ever have any. 'Cause that's how they did it to me.

Hmm, I'd hope not. That sounds rather traumatic(and overwhelming) to show a 7 year VIDEOS on all of it. Just because it was done to you, doesn't mean you need to do it to your kids. I was physically abused as a child, I've certainly not done the same to mine.

The Succubus

2011-10-24, 06:26 PM

Are there two of these threads?

They're breeding. :smallwink:

Haruki-kun

2011-10-24, 07:02 PM

Wow... reading this thread it seems not many people got The Talk. I thought most people did.

Orzel

2011-10-24, 07:07 PM

Hmm, I'd hope not. That sounds rather traumatic(and overwhelming) to show a 7 year VIDEOS on all of it. Just because it was done to you, doesn't mean you need to do it to your kids. I was physically abused as a child, I've certainly not done the same to mine.

Of course I won't show them the videos.
Couldn't anyway. I burned the thrice cursed things (and was properly grounded).

The books, maybe at 10.
I was advanced as I was a textbook reader at a young age.

Castaras

2011-10-24, 07:15 PM

Can't remember when I had it. Wasn't a major part, and I didn't worry too much about it. Knew it was stupid to get knocked up without taking precautions, and was at the stage where I didn't want to get knocked up, nor did I feel any need to prove myself by getting knocked up. So was all good. And could talk to parents a lot about it.

Although I did turn out a bit of a prude and a giggly embarrassed person when talking about things in ways other than silly sex jokes / innuendos. :smalltongue:

Mutant Sheep

2011-10-24, 07:37 PM

Wow... reading this thread it seems not many people got The Talk. I thought most people did.

I did too, but I didn't know what the talk consisted of besides awkward things until now anyways, so...:smallbiggrin:

MoonCat

2011-10-24, 08:05 PM

My knowledge of it just sort of grew along with me. I just sort of ended up knowing, and it was natural enough and have no idea what my sources were. But they were accurate, and my parents have never really shirked telling me anything on that subject (I think the one thing that my mom actually tried to verbally backspace was when she inadvertently mentioned having been in a threesome (I was twelve at the time, I think) when telling an amusing anecdote). It was actually rather embarrassing in elementary, when we got the school sex talk, and I, out of habit, kept raising my hand because I knew the answers. :smallredface::smallredface::smallredface:

Little Brother

2011-10-24, 09:35 PM

I have two brothers and two sisters. And have had computers in the house most of my life. And have bibliophile parents. Books on everything, everywhere :smallbiggrin:

I think I was thrown a book at age five, but by 3rd grade I knew basically everything they cover in health throughout high-school, both mechanically and other, related stuff(What can I say, I find pathology and parasitology interesting).

Remmirath

2011-10-24, 10:21 PM

I don't believe I ever had any talk of that sort, or if I did, I certainly don't remember it. I would read anything near me, so I ended up reading relevant books when I was rather young (don't recall the exact age).

I think my parents just assumed that with how much I read I would've gained the information, which is true enough. They also didn't give me any false stories about it (or anything else, really) to begin with. I'm sure they would've answered any questions if I asked, but I generally prefer to acquire information through reading, so I never did.

Starwulf

2011-10-24, 11:23 PM

I'm starting to notice a trend here, and giving the type of forums we are on, I can't say it surprises me to much. It seems as though many of us picked up what we knew about sex from books, or at the very least, read about it in books, and then got curious enough to read or look up more about it.

Killer Angel

2011-10-25, 02:08 AM

Augh, no. Please, I beg you to reconsider. Getting one's first period without knowing what's happening is scary. How would you feel if you suddently started bleeding and didn't know why? :smalleek: I knew it happened to some of my friends and believe me, it's something that leaves a trauma. Girls today can have their first period around nine: if I had daughters, I'd explain how things work around seven-eight.

QFT. QFT ten times.
My wife as a child, didn't receive any explanation before her first period and yes, she still remember with anguish that day.

Asta Kask

2011-10-25, 04:32 AM

Wow... reading this thread it seems not many people got The Talk. I thought most people did.

My brother asked my mum when he was five (and she was carrying me). She explained it calmly, rationally and with a great deal of pedagogy. He didn't believe her.

Eldan

2011-10-25, 05:55 AM

Heh. My parents told me a lot of made-up stories* when I was small, but about this subject, I think they were always honest.

*My mother was a witch. My father was a merman. You can ward of lions (I had nightmares about lions stalking me once) with magical spells. There are tiny people living in the table (it was ancient and had holes from some kind of wood eating insect).

Looking back, I think I know why I turned out the way I did :smalltongue:

Lillith

2011-10-25, 11:15 AM

I mostly learned it through osmosis and pop culture. :smallconfused: Never actually had 'the Talk' with my parents. I would hear things from classmates when I was about 9 or 10. I was fluent in English by then so I would hear about sex in sitcoms which gave me some more information. Also I had this girl magazine where there was this Q&A section and a lot of girls would ask questions about their changing bodies. So by the time school gave me biology lessons about sex I had tied most ends together and actually when I had my first 'girly problem' I was kind of angry because I didn't feel like starting with 'puberty' right now.

Don't ever remember my parents trying to have the talk with me. Only my mother joking I should 'stay away from boys now' after I told her about my 'girly problem'.

At least this is what I'm guessing is what happened because I never really had a clear point about finding it out and just got a bunch of information from different sources and I just know that by the time I was 10 I pretty much had figured the whole thing out. I figure my parents knew and didn't bother because of it.

Asta Kask

2011-10-25, 11:24 AM

I think we need to put Sex Ed into the capable hands of John Cleese. Anyone in favor?

Traab

2011-10-25, 12:25 PM

I think we need to put Sex Ed into the capable hands of John Cleese. Anyone in favor?

For some odd reason i just got this mental image of him running the class like his job interview sketch. "FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE!"

Asta Kask

2011-10-25, 12:54 PM

For some odd reason i just got this mental image of him running the class like his job interview sketch. "FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE!"

You haven't seen Meaning of Life? I won't spoil it, just say that he has a... novel approach.

Savannah

2011-10-25, 01:09 PM

Wow... reading this thread it seems not many people got The Talk. I thought most people did.

Well, you can teach your kids about sex without having The Talk. My parents and I never had a Talk, but we did talk about it in little bits and pieces along the way whenever it was appropriate.

Frozen_Feet

2011-10-25, 01:22 PM

Wow... reading this thread it seems not many people got The Talk. I thought most people did.

I always figured the concept of "the Talk" (emphasis on "the") as it's portrayed in popular culture was something of a myth or exaggeration of how awkward talking about sex with your parents is. I've never really believed that it's the usual way for parents to take their presumably ignorant offspring aside and break the news in some distinct lecture.

Traab

2011-10-25, 01:58 PM

You haven't seen Meaning of Life? I won't spoil it, just say that he has a... novel approach.

Ive seen it, just not recently. "THWOW HIM TO THE FLOOW CENTUWION!"

Whiffet

2011-10-25, 05:19 PM

"The Talk" as it's often portrayed isn't normal. But parents should talk to their kids about it somehow. My parents never spoke to me about this and kept me shielded from "inappropriate" media for a long time, and I suffered because of that.

Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll

2011-10-25, 07:53 PM

Ive seen it, just not recently. "THWOW HIM TO THE FLOOW CENTUWION!"

No, that is NOT how we should do Sex Ed! :smalleek:

:smallcool:

MoonCat

2011-10-25, 08:27 PM

Ive seen it, just not recently. "THWOW HIM TO THE FLOOW CENTUWION!"

That isn't Meaning of Life. That's Life of Brian. Wrong Monty Python film.

Traab

2011-10-25, 10:48 PM

That isn't Meaning of Life. That's Life of Brian. Wrong Monty Python film.

Damn, I must have missed that one then. I thought I had seen them all. Looked it up on wikki, read a few seconds then stopped so I can enjoy it myself. :p

Safety Sword

2011-10-26, 12:39 AM

Just a small point I'd like to share.

You're better off explaining the technical details to your kids if you can.

In a way that doesn't involve saying "Use this internet connection to find out about sex". :smallyuk:

Do you really want internet porn to be their expectation? :smallfrown:

EndlessWrath

2011-10-26, 12:48 AM

My father and my oldest of siblings had the talk when he was just hitting puberty age. From his account he says it was the most awkward 2 hour walk in the park he ever had to suffer and the majority of it was silence. This experience was not repeated on myself or my other siblings. As for myself I learned over time from my peers at public school. I didn't have to really worry about it too much though, since it never really turned into a problem.

-Wrath

Rising Phoenix

2011-10-26, 11:35 AM

I never got 'the talk' either, but I knew about it from a very young age (definitely when I was 5) by having lots of animals around the house (I was (and am) interested in aviculture and aquaculture. oh and kittens :)) and being very interested in science.

Since then it has been more or less a natural learning process. Sex is natural as is masturbation, nothing wrong or guilty about it and should I have kids they'll know about it as soon as they ask about it.

Edit: Very interesting to note that many people on the playground did not get the talk either...

Once I discovered it was a natural process I was never disgusted by or scared of it. I guess it helps that my parents didn't give it a stigma.

Keld Denar

2011-10-26, 12:42 PM

Do you really want internet porn to be their expectation? :smallfrown:

I just read a facebook update yesterday from an old high school friend of mine who is studying to be a human sexuality councelor. She recently talked to a middle school in Philly, and she was rather shocked to hear that the majority of the students there thought that the average penis size was 10".

Just thought I'd share that for everyone else to scratch their heads dumbfoundedly at.

Giggling Ghast

2011-10-26, 12:45 PM

Haruki-kun

2011-10-26, 12:48 PM

Mutant Sheep

2011-10-26, 12:53 PM

Scarlet Knight

2011-10-26, 01:09 PM

"Playboy: Teaching younger brothers sex since 1953..."

Melayl

2011-10-26, 01:25 PM

I vaguely remember having a talk with Dad when I was in about 5th or 6th grade... I had "learned" a great deal on the playground by then, of course, little of it accurate. We had some sex ed in school at about the same time.
We did have a Joy of Sex book in the house, which I read. I believe it was deliberately left out for my sister to find when she got older.

As for my girls, we found a book in the "American Girls" series called The Care and Keeping of You or something like that. It explains in honest and easy-to-understand terms about female biology, menstruation, puberty, and the like. We gave it to our oldest a year ago (she was 8). We had given one to my niece a couple of years before that. We started that early because my wife had the unfortunate onset of her period at school when she was 14, and had had absolutely no information from her mother prior to that. Needless to say, it was rather traumatic at the time.

My daughter will start school-based Sex Ed in another grade or two, and we're planning on having some sort of talk prior to that. There are (I've heard) some good websites out there with advice for parents on uncomfortable topics like that (and drugs and such) that I plan to look over. Can't remember the names of any of those sites right now...

Zigg'rrauglurr

2011-10-26, 02:49 PM

So, I had the first talk when I was around 5 years old. My mother is a very religious catholic woman, and my dad is a non practicing jew.
However they firmly believed that I should know about everything I asked (not just sex). I still don't remember if I had initiated the talk or my dad did.
In that talk I remember asking my dad what would you do if you wanted to pee during the 'act'. His response was "You just endure it" (Te la aguantas :smalltongue:)
I still remember that piece of information when I'm in the act and I got the urge...

In Argentina we don´t normally have sex-ed in schools until secondary school (high school, around 13/14 years) and not in all schools, but we got a short introduction in seventh grade (11-12 years) and decent video explaining things for each sex, the girls got an extra class regarding menstruation (a girl gave me the rundown after that).

I have to say that in my case having easy access to a lot of books ranging from encyclopedias to erotic stories, including a short version of the kama-sutra; really helped to have a clear understanding of what was happening during puberty, no surprises or fears, and managed to give me, and my then girlfriend, a very satisfactory first time.

We have already agreed with my fiancee that we will give the basic information to our kids as soon as they are able to process it (~5 years old).
And if they ask for more info we will provide everything we can as pedagogically possible.
Another point I will transmit is how to treat your partner before, during and after the act and how important is to try to make your partner happy (as long as my kids want to be with that person, for the other option, we are sending them to practice Aikido)

Also if, and when, I have a daughter I will buy a shotgun... :smallamused:

Safety Sword

2011-10-26, 05:19 PM

I just read a facebook update yesterday from an old high school friend of mine who is studying to be a human sexuality councelor. She recently talked to a middle school in Philly, and she was rather shocked to hear that the majority of the students there thought that the average penis size was 10".

I'm somehow not surprised. The internet does seem to blow things out of proportion a lot of the time. Pun intended, by the way. :smallamused:

It would also be an interesting study in human behaviour. The times I've watched porn the people plainly don't treat each other very well.

This is proving harder to articulate that I anticipated....

Put it this way. You start going out with a girl you like, you have a date, go back to her place, things start heating up. Then you start ripping out the dialogue from a porn film. I think a large percentage of the time you'd get punched in the balls and sent packing. Sex involves respect (yes, even when you're never going to see them again).

Maybe I'm old fashioned and everyone behaves that way these days?

Keld Denar

2011-10-26, 05:36 PM

Safety Sword

2011-10-26, 05:48 PM

I dunno, a certain amount of "dirty talk" is accepted. You probably shouldn't smother your date with a pillow and call her a dirty siphiletic slut, but exclaimations about how good something is, or how much you enjoy something else, or how you are going to perform another activity are all pretty benign even though they qualify under the catagory of "dirty talk", and hardly qualify as disrespecting your partner.
Dirty talk is absolutely accepted. But there's dirty and there's what I deem plain offensive. If this is what young people are learning from, that's what they end up doing.

I guess its all about testing boundaries. A lot of sex, and life in general, is about testing boundaries and reading reactions. If the girl you're with flinches in a certain way, you probably shouldn't put your fingers there. If she doesn't respond with similar language, you probably shouldn't continue on that line of dialogue, or at least not escalate it to a higher degree.
Truer words have never been spoken.

As with most other things in life, you can't judge everything by one source. There is a fairly decent amount of porn aimed at women (and some guys) that tends to be a lot more sensual, intimate, and "loving". Which mostly just means they get better actors and actresses. To say that porn teaches men to disrespect women is a bit of a long stretch.

Of course, but in the case of your friend the councellor, one source is exactly the number the kids are basing their knowledge on. The quality of the source is not particularly high in a majority of cases, in my opinion. I also doubt that young people are as discerning or discriminating about the quality of porn they watch. They're probably just stoked they got past the school site blocker :smalltongue:

H Birchgrove

2011-10-26, 09:28 PM

How appropriate we go from Monty Python and it's view on sex ed' and size of penis (Biggus... ****us... :smallbiggrin: ) and then into porn. :smallamused:

Why is the title "The birds and the bees"? Over here, we say "Flowers and bees" when we are being prude.

Vent Reynolt

2011-10-26, 10:50 PM

I never got the talk. Ever.

Oh, it's not that I knew nothing. I knew from a very young age that the dad's sperm ended up inside the mom and fertilized her egg. I just never really thought about how that happened. School sex ed didn't help either; they just talked about puberty. I didn't find out much about what boys went through, just girls; I didn't even know how the male reproductive system worked. I knew some people really wanted babies but couldn't manage it, and I knew people could accidentally have babies. And the religion I was brought up with let me know that I shouldn't do whatever-it-was until I was married. But no one ever explained to me what sex is, only that I shouldn't do it.

This is pretty much exactly the description of my entire sex-ed. Well, you know, aside from the obvious difference of me being a guy. But you know what, being a guy didn't change the fact that all of the sex-ed classes that I've been in focused solely on the female reproductive system. In fact, all of the information from the sex-ed classes I was in can be summarized entirely in two words: "Fallopian Tubes"

Never, not even once, in any of the few sex-ed classes there were did the topic of "WTF is sex?" even come up! It seems to have just been assumed that everyone already knows all about it. (Yet if everyone already knows about it, then WHAT IS THE POINT OF THE CLASS TO BEGIN WITH?:smallfurious:) And the only times that sex was actually brought up was as a "sex is bad, and you shouldn't do that." :smallsigh: Guess that part was pretty easy because I honestly had no idea, and was far too timid to actually look into it. (Tangentially, the topic of condoms only came up as "use these if you decide to have sex, but we won't tell you how to use them, or even how to get them.")

My parents were far more of a hindrance than a help here as well. They seem to have decided on the brilliant plan of avoiding any talk about the subject entirely by making any discussion on the issues so awkward that no one would ever willingly bring it up!

The net result of all this being that I didn't even understand what masturbation really was until I actually found out just under *mumble mumble* years ago, when I was *mumble mumble* old. Ugh! I'm still too nervous to actually post that. I really am pathetic. :smallfrown:

I think we need to put Sex Ed into the capable hands of John Cleese. Anyone in favor?

As ridiculous as this is, at least a sex-ed course that is actually open about it would be infinitely more helpful than the useless education that I got on the subject. Even better if all sex-ed courses are taught through comedy sketches.

nerd-7i+42e

2011-10-26, 11:18 PM

I remember learning bits and pieces throughout lower school (and maybe a bit into middle school). I've known about the concept of fertilization for as long as I can remember, although I don't think I learned the actual mechanics of it until third grade. Even then, I had a ton of misconceptions (for example, I thought that pregnancy was guaranteed every time you have sex). My parents never actually gave me the talk, they just answered my questions and knew that I'd be responsible about it.

Whiffet

2011-10-27, 01:17 AM

The net result of all this being that I didn't even understand what masturbation really was until I actually found out just under *mumble mumble* years ago, when I was *mumble mumble* old. Ugh! I'm still too nervous to actually post that. I really am pathetic. :smallfrown:

I'm sure your situation wasn't as bad as all that; after all, you at least knew ONE thing the opposite sex had. I didn't even know what a penis was until... uh... far later than I should have. Yeah, I'd rather not say.

I was far too sheltered. :smallfrown:

Asta Kask

2011-10-27, 03:37 AM

We had a good sex education in school, with a heavy emphasis on a) contraception, and b) debunking myths.

grimbold

2011-10-27, 03:55 AM

i had a basic introduction from my peers in elementary school (who learned from older siblings)
however i was still very confused as to how the whole thing was properly done I only really started to figure things out in 6th grade when i became more of an internet addict and started to want to understand all the jokes

i never had a talk mostly because my parents are kind of awkward people (like me) and if we had done it it would have completely broken down our relationship

Coidzor

2011-10-27, 05:28 AM

Well, that might indicate they have really bad math skills. :smalltongue:

Or got their units mixed up.

...Also, in hindsight, the fact that my religious middle school's sex ed book mentioned "neeking"(still don't know what that is... Best guess was a typo of necking) and petting as well as foreplay seems surprisingly progressive despite the ultimate goal of the text being one swearing to be abstinent until marriage.

Though the description in the book was so vague I couldn't figure out if this "neeking" was an activity people engaged in or just the technical term for the body's physiological response to foreplay...

grimbold

2011-10-27, 05:29 AM

Or got their units mixed up.

it happens XD

Haruki-kun

2011-10-27, 08:07 AM

This is pretty much exactly the description of my entire sex-ed. Well, you know, aside from the obvious difference of me being a guy. But you know what, being a guy didn't change the fact that all of the sex-ed classes that I've been in focused solely on the female reproductive system. In fact, all of the information from the sex-ed classes I was in can be summarized entirely in two words: "Fallopian Tubes"

I recently went to a sex conference in school. They told us exactly that: "You don't even need to know what a Fallopian Tube is."

"Imagine if Driver's Ed had been given to you like Sex Ed was. 'Well, OK, kids, this is your Driver's Ed class. You should know that you should never EVER drive. Driving is dangerous. Do you know how many people die because of traffic accidents? Here, let me show you some photos of what happens when you drive carelessly.

(One Hour later)

....and if you decide to drive anyway.... wear a seatbelt'."

Coidzor

2011-10-27, 08:19 AM

I recently went to a sex conference in school. They told us exactly that: "You don't even need to know what a Fallopian Tube is."

Wow. Those people really hate teaching, responding to actual inquiry on the parts of their students about basic biology like that. :smalleek:

H Birchgrove

2011-10-27, 08:36 AM

"Necking" makes me think of the Swedish words "att näcka" which is a "funnier" way to say "att vara naken" = "be naked". (Probably comes from the folklore character Näcken who was naked, lived in lakes and rivers and tricked people into drowning with violin music and smexiness. He could teach you to play music but usually he tricked you somehow anyway.) :smalltongue:

Though maybe it just means to kiss someone on the neck? Or is it part of The Secret Vampire Agenda? :smallconfused:

We had a good sex education in school, with a heavy emphasis on a) contraception, and b) debunking myths.

It was generally good but it left things out. Managed to confuse me about the legal age (here in Sweden). Kept hearing that things aren't like in pornography but never heard or read about the real life versions, like how lesbians really have sex or how to prepare for anal sex so you don't end up in a world of hurt. I still don't really know these things.

Thanks to my mother, a picture book I had (still have but at my parents place) by Joe Kaufman* when I was about 7 and later my sister's old text books I got a decent understanding of reproduction even before having sex ed. in school. Kinda funny how I knew how the sperm cells went into the egg and how the foetus grew inside the mother but for some time didn't know how the sperm cells - which I knew came from the male's testicles and penis - went inside the woman. (Seriously Joe, logical thought ain't the strong side of a 6-7 year old kid's mind. You could have just wrote: "the man sticks his (erect) penis inside the woman's vagina and sperm gets inside it and travels to the blah blah blah", you get my drift.)

My mother was fairly open about what homosexuality was (I must have heard it from TV or something) when I asked about that when I was... 9 I think? Not older than 13-14 at least. She did, however, later instil fear against anal sex in me by talking about how dangerous it is. Felt rather guilty about having fantasies about - heterosexual - anal sex after having seen it on porn. Stupid cable provider had back when I was 14-16 a channel which showed softcore films once a week and after 00:00 same channel space had the Playboy Channel, which I discovered by accident, obviously at a time when my hormones started to work up. :smallsigh:

Bi-sexuality? "Learned" it from the Swedish soap opera Rederiet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rederiet). Obviously the writers made the bi guy a cheater. :smallmad: My mum, sadly, agreed with the "message" of that series, even if they bi guy was later portrayed in a more sympathetic light.

On a more positive note, an episode of L.A. Law made my sympathetic toward transpersons, though I had for a long time vague and naive ideas of how someone "changed sex". (I wasn't sure whether transwomen could get pregnant or not for some time as well. How sad I was when I read that they can't. :smallfrown: )

* Book cover here: http://www.antikvariat1.se/bilder1/11104L1.jpg

Haruki-kun

2011-10-27, 08:39 AM

Wow. Those people really hate teaching, responding to actual inquiry on the parts of their students about basic biology like that. :smalleek:

:smallconfused: Nobody asked them about them. At college level we all know what they are.

The Succubus

2011-10-27, 08:44 AM

I recently went to a sex conference in school. They told us exactly that: "You don't even need to know what a Fallopian Tube is."

"Imagine if Driver's Ed had been given to you like Sex Ed was. 'Well, OK, kids, this is your Driver's Ed class. You should know that you should never EVER drive. Driving is dangerous. Do you know how many people die because of traffic accidents? Here, let me show you some photos of what happens when you drive carelessly.

(One Hour later)

....and if you decide to drive anyway.... wear a seatbelt'."

I'd feel really uncomfortable asking questions about junctions or, heaven forbid, roundabouts. :smallfrown:

H Birchgrove

2011-10-27, 08:48 AM

I'd feel really uncomfortable asking questions about junctions or, heaven forbid, roundabouts. :smallfrown:

*waives hand* "Teacher, how do one 'zig-zag'?"

*awkward silence*

:smallwink:

Coidzor

2011-10-27, 09:07 AM

:smallconfused: Nobody asked them about them. At college level we all know what they are.

...Then why did they say that at all? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Coidzor/Online/emot-psyduck.gif

Asta Kask

2011-10-27, 09:15 AM

It was generally good but it left things out. Managed to confuse me about the legal age (here in Sweden). Kept hearing that things aren't like in pornography but never heard or read about the real life versions, like how lesbians really have sex or how to prepare for anal sex so you don't end up in a world of hurt. I still don't really know these things.

Sex is exactly like pornography. I've lost count on the number of times I've walked in on Ron Jeremy.

The Succubus

2011-10-27, 09:17 AM

Sex is exactly like pornography. I've lost count on the number of times I've walked in on Ron Jeremy.

Indeed. Although I always wonder where the smokey saxaphone music comes from though....:smallconfused:

Asta Kask

2011-10-27, 09:18 AM

He certainly gets around and about, does Our Ron.

Whiffet

2011-10-27, 10:20 AM

"Imagine if Driver's Ed had been given to you like Sex Ed was. 'Well, OK, kids, this is your Driver's Ed class. You should know that you should never EVER drive. Driving is dangerous. Do you know how many people die because of traffic accidents? Here, let me show you some photos of what happens when you drive carelessly.

(One Hour later)

....and if you decide to drive anyway.... wear a seatbelt'."

That sounds like the Driver's Ed class I took. They pretty much just wanted to scare the crap out of everyone.

Douglas

2011-10-27, 10:21 AM

...Then why did they say that at all? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Coidzor/Online/emot-psyduck.gif
To mock the middle-school level sex ed that many of the students had probably gone through, and by doing so to establish a contrast with how this college level version of it will go? Sort of like saying "you remember those background details that your middle school focused on almost exclusively even though only doctors ever have practical use for that information, and how that choice of focus was totally ridiculous and left you confused about any details that were actually relevant to you? Yeah, we're going to be focusing on the practical layman's info instead, here. If you want the doctor's version, you can look it up on your own time."

Vent Reynolt

2011-10-27, 11:16 AM

I'm sure your situation wasn't as bad as all that; after all, you at least knew ONE thing the opposite sex had. I didn't even know what a penis was until... uh... far later than I should have. Yeah, I'd rather not say.

I was far too sheltered. :smallfrown:

It may sound better until I mention that this meant that even until late high school, I knew more about the female part of the reproductive system than the actual part that I have! (Of course, the knowledge was restricted solely to the parts dedicated to the egg cells and how babby is formed, and nothing that could ever actually be relevant in the real world) Not even knowing how my own bits work, now that was really confusing. :smallfrown:

Besides, I'm certain that you learned how the male bits worked at a much younger age than I did. I was... let's just say that I was an extremely late bloomer for that.

(Oh gosh, the awkward in this post is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. But it would probably have to be a pretty sharp knife, because I don't think that just a butter-knife would actually cut it.)

Haruki-kun

2011-10-27, 11:17 AM

...Then why did they say that at all? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/Coidzor/Online/emot-psyduck.gif

They were trying to make a point by using a metaphor. Also what douglas said.

Coidzor

2011-10-27, 11:22 AM

They were trying to make a point by using a metaphor. Also what douglas said.

Ahh, sorry. I'd somehow gotten from your original context had made them out to sound completely useless and uninformative.

Must've been the sleep deprivation, I guess. x.x

Zigg'rrauglurr

2011-10-27, 12:10 PM

It may sound better until I mention that this meant that even until late high school, I knew more about the female part of the reproductive system than the actual part that I have! (Of course, the knowledge was restricted solely to the parts dedicated to the egg cells and how babby is formed, and nothing that could ever actually be relevant in the real world) Not even knowing how my own bits work, now that was really confusing. :smallfrown:

Besides, I'm certain that you learned how the male bits worked at a much younger age than I did. I was... let's just say that I was an extremely late bloomer for that.

(Oh gosh, the awkward in this post is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. But it would probably have to be a pretty sharp knife, because I don't think that just a butter-knife would actually cut it.)

My simpathy to ya mate.

And this is why I will make sure that my kids have all the information they need as soon as they can handle it. So they will grow to be wonderful and caring people, not afraid or ashamed of what they are and what they like.

Ceric

2011-10-27, 01:51 PM

I got a basic Talk from my mom in 5th grade, when they started sex ed in school. It was mostly about puberty and menstruation, as well as the female reproductive system. (They separated the girls and guys so I don't know what the guys talked about.*) Anyway, the Talk from my mom was mostly more explaining what puberty is and what I could expect from it. I do remember that she told me what sexual intercourse was. And I thought it was the grossest-sounding thing ever :smalleek: She cleared up the few questions that I had, such as "And people don't have to go to a hospital for that? You can just do it in, like, the kitchen?". The Talk ended with me declaring that, should by some weird illogical reason I ever somehow decided I wanted to have sex, I'd just be leaving my underwear on, then. I was a bit too young to appreciate sex :smalltongue:

Had a second sex ed in 6th grade where they didn't separate the girls/guys and described both reproductive systems, with diagrams where we were supposed to label all the organs. And a third sex ed in 7th grade that focused on STIs and preventatives, including making us go to our local drugstore and writing down the brand names and costs of at least 4 different condoms, 2 female condoms, a spermicide, etc. And there was a banana that you could practice putting a condom on in class. I think most people didn't try that, though. Too embarrassed. Oh yeah, they talked about rape prevention in that class too.

The main problem it had was that no one actually paid attention to class. But I think that's a pretty general problem.

I still did my own internet research (no, nothing that dirty, I mean http://www.scarleteen.com/ type websites :smalltongue:) when it came to figuring out terms that they didn't talk about in class, like orgasms and lubricant, in my own time (aka much much later) and due to my own curiosity.

Overall, I think it worked well.

* I'm pretty sure it wasn't menstruation, at least. They came back to our classroom as we were finishing up, saw the example pad stuck to the lecturn that the teacher had forgotten about, and went "What's that? :smalleek:"

Asta Kask

2011-10-27, 03:27 PM

Guys don't need to know about menstruation. They do need to know about PMS.

H Birchgrove

2011-10-27, 06:24 PM

@ Asta Kask & The Succubus: Oh you. :smalltongue:

Guys don't need to know about menstruation. They do need to know about PMS.

I would say they should know about both; how else would they know why women feel awkward at that time of the month? And if you become a boyfriend to some girl, and gets a mission to buy things for her, you may want to know the difference between a sanitary napkin and a panty liner.

(What? I have an elder sister. It was unavoidable to hear about this type of stuff while growing up.)

Starwulf

2011-10-27, 06:40 PM

@ Asta Kask & The Succubus: Oh you. :smalltongue:

I would say they should know about both; how else would they know why women feel awkward at that time of the month? And if you become a boyfriend to some girl, and gets a mission to buy things for her, you may want to know the difference between a sanitary napkin and a panty liner.

(What? I have an elder sister. It was unavoidable to hear about this type of stuff while growing up.)

No offense, but as a guy, I would never buy women menstruation products for a girlfriend. I've gone in to the store to pick them up for my wife(and even then, only tampons, nothing else), but I think it would be stretching the boundaries for a boyfriend to pick them up for a girlfriend unless they've been together for a long period of time.

Strawberries

2011-10-27, 06:52 PM

No offense, but as a guy, I would never buy women menstruation products for a girlfriend. I've gone in to the store to pick them up for my wife(and even then, only tampons, nothing else), but I think it would be stretching the boundaries for a boyfriend to pick them up for a girlfriend unless they've been together for a long period of time.

:smallconfused: I really don't get it, why would it? They're just sanitary napkins. Hell, I'd ask my male friends to buy me some if I needed them*. I can't see why it would be stretching boundaries at all.

*EDIT: actually, I'd ask those among the male friends I have I could be reasonably confident would buy the right thing...but that goes for any kind of grocery. :smalltongue:.

Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll

2011-10-27, 06:54 PM

:smallconfused: I really don't get it, why would it? They're just sanitary napkins. Hell, I'd ask my male friends to buy me some if I needed them. I can't see why it would be stretching boundaries at all.

Buuut iiiiit's weeeiiiiiiird!

Strawberries

2011-10-27, 06:56 PM

Buuut iiiiit's weeeiiiiiiird!

You people. Are strange. Honestly.

Objection

2011-10-27, 07:10 PM

Buuut iiiiit's weeeiiiiiiird!

Weird is cool these days.

Right?

Haruki-kun

2011-10-27, 07:17 PM

Weird is cool these days.

Right?

Completely. Personally, I wouldn't mind. She'd just be asking me to go buy a sealed box of a product and bring them to her. No biggie.

Kuma Da

2011-10-27, 07:17 PM

Buuut iiiiit's weeeiiiiiiird!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer--

*ahem*

This is what comes of teaching sex ed in really awkward ways.

It's a neutral subject to kids, and the way their parents behave around the topic really colors how they think of it. If the adults are afraid to use the word 'menstruation', then obviously it must be something to be afraid of. If they don't have any problem discussing it, then it's no big deal and years of potential trauma are averted.

As far as my own background goes, I was given a "look out for rapists" talk by my mom at a really young age (still in grades 1-3, I think,) and then some puberty talks in fourth grade. Fortunately, I'd already figured out the mechanics of sex when I was really young, because my dad had medical textbooks lying around, since my high school sex ed was pretty much "if you need them there are condoms BUT THE ONLY ETHICAL THING TO DO IS WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE MARRIED! IT'S MORE SPECIAL THAT WAY!"

That was honestly one of the arguments we were given for waiting. The other was AIDS.

And I come from upper-middle class, suburban Massachusetts.

Coidzor

2011-10-27, 07:18 PM

:smallconfused: I really don't get it, why would it? They're just sanitary napkins. Hell, I'd ask my male friends to buy me some if I needed them*. I can't see why it would be stretching boundaries at all.

There is nothing sanitary about those napkins.

Especially when they've been applied to walls and left to dry.

...Actually I've never really understood why they're called napkins.

As for buying them for someone, that falls squarely under the purview of awkward stuff that I had to do for my mom as a kid/teenager that I don't really want to associate with anyone until I have a sufficient relationship to negate being reminded of my mother.

edit: And by awkward I mean that she changed her mind twice after giving me just incorrect information the first time, made me go back to the store and exchange the product. It was the first time I'd ever made a return to a store before, and the same woman was running the checkout every time.

When it would've taken her a 5 minute walk to just do it herself. And of course, that means everyone in the neighbourhood pretty much saw me with a box of tampons coming home from the store, then heading back to the store, then heading back home with a different box....

Starwulf

2011-10-27, 07:33 PM

There is nothing sanitary about those napkins.

Especially when they've been applied to walls and left to dry.

...Actually I've never really understood why they're called napkins.

As for buying them for someone, that falls squarely under the purview of awkward stuff that I had to do for my mom as a kid/teenager that I don't really want to associate with anyone until I have a sufficient relationship to negate being reminded of my mother.

lmao, I am too scared to ask WHY you talk about sanitary napkins being applied to walls and left to dry. Have you been visiting the womens room lately? ^^

Also, yes, it is just weird(at least to me) to ask a male to get feminine products for anyone he hasn't had a significantly involved/lengthy relationship with. Same for carrying a purse as well. I'm not a typical guy at all, and even I cringe a bit when my wife asks me to do either of the above, it just seems so...unnatural.

Starwulf

2011-10-27, 07:43 PM

I've learned a significant amount about menstruation and I still haven't figured out why, if their libido is increased, women don't want to act on their libidos during the 2 days to a week. This seems to be the only thing really pertinent about the biological process for those who aren't practicing the rhythm method of conception/contraception.

{Scrubbed}

Othesemo

2011-10-27, 07:45 PM

This will sound very, very weird, I know, but I first got the talk in 4th grade, from my older brother's girlfriend. See, I accidentally walked in on them while they were, eh... intimate, and she felt that she had a sort of obligation to explain it to me. She was actually very calm and mature about it, given that she was 16 and I was 9. Then, about four months later, my Mom gave me the same talk, and was surprised when I already knew everything that she was saying. She asked me how, and I told her that my brother's girlfriend had told me.

My mom was very, very good at giving strange looks back then. Still is.

Coidzor

2011-10-27, 07:57 PM

{Scrubbed the post, scrub the quote.}

{Scrubbed}

Starwulf

2011-10-27, 08:22 PM

{Scrubbed the post, scrub the quote.}

{Scrubbed}

Apologies all around to anyone I may have offended(or at the least, squicked out).

Ceric

2011-10-28, 02:14 AM

There is nothing sanitary about those napkins.

Especially when they've been applied to walls and left to dry.

Er, well, if this is in response to my post, it wasn't a used napkin. It was just a clean one taken out of its wrapper by the teacher, shown to us, and then stuck to the lecturn to demonstrate its stickiness. And then forgotten about.

I've never seen a used napkin anywhere but the trash can.

Asta Kask

2011-10-28, 03:33 AM

Vampires dip them in hot water to make tea.

(or was that tampons?)

grimbold

2011-10-28, 04:43 AM

Vampires dip them in hot water to make tea.

(or was that tampons?)

ahh god

now my soul melted

Anxe

2011-10-28, 07:56 PM

Buying tampons always seemed weird to me because they remind me of suppositories. That thing is going close to where you pee out of and its weird.

Actually, now that I think about it, buying any bathroom products for someone you haven't been in a relationship for a few months with sounds weird. Why are you buying them things they use in their home unless you live in that home?

Lateral

2011-10-28, 10:09 PM

I don't really think I ever got a 'the talk.' I've just always known, long as I can remember. What I think my parents did was to tell me how it worked from a young age, but not really going into much detail, and kind of slowly going into more detail over time and letting me find out myself.

...No, not like that.

grimbold

2011-10-29, 04:06 AM

actually know that i think about it my sister actually got a version of The Talk about... girl stuff
but me
never...

Asta Kask

2011-10-29, 06:12 AM

Well she could get knocked up. Presumably, you couldn't. Although I don't think it's fair to put the entire responsibility for protection on the girl.

H Birchgrove

2011-10-29, 02:56 PM

http://www.fitbuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/birds-and-the-bees-300x226.jpg

http://shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/birds-and-the-bees.jpg

Lulzy pictures. :smalltongue:

grimbold

2011-10-29, 04:53 PM

Well she could get knocked up. Presumably, you couldn't. Although I don't think it's fair to put the entire responsibility for protection on the girl.

its not that (my sister is so afraid of sex-related things she doesn't even watch people kiss on tv-yes she pretty much wants to be a nun-seriously)

but ya know...
periods
should probs know bout them before they happen...

dgnslyr

2011-10-29, 05:40 PM

Why is this awkward conversation called "the birds and the bees talk" anyways? I never had to go through through that awkward conversation, so I have no idea why it's called that.

Haruki-kun

2011-10-29, 06:30 PM

Why is this awkward conversation called "the birds and the bees talk" anyways? I never had to go through through that awkward conversation, so I have no idea why it's called that.

Wikipedia article. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_birds_and_the_bees)

H Birchgrove

2011-10-29, 07:38 PM

Wikipedia article. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_birds_and_the_bees)

Whoa. Mind blown.

:smallbiggrin:

Asta Kask

2011-10-30, 01:51 AM

In Sweden it's "flowers and bees".

grimbold

2011-10-30, 04:53 AM

Wikipedia article. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_birds_and_the_bees)
i clicked on the link on the bottom

OH MAH GAWD
its not the stork?

Coidzor

2011-10-30, 06:30 AM

its not that (my sister is so afraid of sex-related things she doesn't even watch people kiss on tv-yes she pretty much wants to be a nun-seriously)

but ya know...
periods
should probs know bout them before they happen...

Wait. Your parents... don't mind that your sister has such a severe phobia that she runs out of the room while the family is watching television?!?:smallconfused:

MoonCat

2011-10-30, 11:30 AM

i clicked on the link on the bottom

OH MAH GAWD
its not the stork?

That's where babies come from, not how they got made after the stork story is rendered obsolete a few years later.

CoffeeIncluded

2011-10-30, 04:56 PM

I figured out the technical stuff by myself, but for the other stuff?

We have a decent sex-ed program in school, in theory. Ostensibly, we talk about anatomy, terminology, different types of contraception, and stuff like that. In practice, sex ed was only for three weeks, two and a half of those weeks were spent on anatomy, and one of the health teachers (a male, of course) claimed that childbirth isn't painful. :smallfurious:

I learned more on the TvTropes You Fail Sex Ed Forever page than in actual sex ed. :smallsigh:

Mando Knight

2011-10-30, 05:58 PM

and one of the health teachers (a male, of course) claimed that childbirth isn't painful. :smallfurious:

...Has that guy ever been anywhere near an OB/GYN? Or even thought about the mechanics of childbirth? Or were all the births he's aware of conducted while the mother was heavily sedated?

Strawberries

2011-10-30, 06:05 PM

In Sweden it's "flowers and bees".

In Italy, too. :smallwink:

H Birchgrove

2011-10-30, 06:30 PM

While it's grossly ignorant of the teacher to make such a claim; I have read that women somehow "forgets" how painful the ordeal was, otherwise they wouldn't give birth a second time willingly.

Maybe the foolish teacher had learned about sex from Addams Family Values (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addams_Family_Values)? :smalltongue:

In Sweden it's "flowers and bees".

I said so in page 3. :smalltongue:

Ajadea

2011-10-30, 06:43 PM

and one of the health teachers (a male, of course) claimed that childbirth isn't painful. :smallfurious:

I'm just confused about the logic of that. Mechanically speaking, a tampon can clearly block the flow of blood during menstruation (otherwise they wouldn't sell). It's less than an inch in diameter. A newborn baby's head is considerably larger than an inch in diameter. And it's supposed to fit through the same canal. A canal which is riddled with nerve endings, incidentally.

How can that end in any way other than physical pain?

turkishproverb

2011-10-30, 06:49 PM

Our sex ed class, sometime in middle school (grades 6-8) was ridiculously vague, and ridiculously..biased...at the same time.

Curriculum:
1. When a man and a woman get married and love each other very much, they have sex and create babies.
2. The only way not to have babies or get STD's is not to have sex outside marriage.
3. Condom's don't work (mind you, we weren't taught what they were FOR...)
4. Neither does the Pill (Reaction: WTF is the pill?)
5. If you have pre-marital sex you will get sick and die and get pregnant out of wedlock (Still not clear on what "sex" is here, teacher!)

Mind you, I knew a bit more than the class taught, but that's because I'd been reading romance novels etc. since elementary school.

We have a decent sex-ed program in school, in theory. Ostensibly, we talk about anatomy, terminology, different types of contraception, and stuff like that. In practice, sex ed was only for three weeks, two and a half of those weeks were spent on anatomy, and one of the health teachers (a male, of course) claimed that childbirth isn't painful. :smallfurious:

Ok, that's so stupid it's funny.

I learned more on the TvTropes You Fail Sex Ed Forever page than in actual sex ed. :smallsigh:

Heh. I probably did too.

Asta Kask

2011-10-31, 06:00 AM

In Italy, too. :smallwink:

That is surely a sign from the Gods

Strawberries

2011-10-31, 06:29 AM

Curriculum:
1. When a man and a woman get married and love each other very much, they have sex and create babies.
2. The only way not to have babies or get STD's is not to have sex outside marriage.
3. Condom's don't work (mind you, we weren't taught what they were FOR...)
4. Neither does the Pill (Reaction: WTF is the pill?)
5. If you have pre-marital sex you will get sick and die and get pregnant out of wedlock (Still not clear on what "sex" is here, teacher!)

Oh, gods... :smalleek:

We didn't have a sex-ed class per se, but we devoted a few hours to it inside the science class.
Curriculum (aimed at kids 10-13):

1. How male and female bits are different and how they work

2. Female puberty, and menstruations (yeah, they gave only the most precursory explanation of the male puberty. I'm not sure why). Naturally, at the time, I had already had my first period, so...moot point. Thank god for my parents' explanation when I was six. :smallwink:

2. The "Tab A and slot B" deal, what happens during and afterwards (the mechanics of a male erection, for instance, and how the sperm fertilizes the egg).

3. STD and contracceptive methods (and why something that works in order not to have kids doesn't work to avoid STDs - that was a cardinal point, as there was a huge focus on AIDS at the time)

4. In particular, condoms, and how to use them. As I said, the focus was on STDs, so they wanted to imprint the notion that if you practice casual sex, you'd better use a condom. I remember the teacher saying "Look, sex is best enjoyed if you wait to do it with the person you love, and get to know them before, but if you do not want to wait, you have to know these things."

Now, I only got to see pictures, but in a different school they actually had a pratical lesson on how to unroll and wear (or make your partner wear) condoms. Both male and female students, in the last year of middle school (age 13-14). They got to practice on a vaguely cylinder-shaped model. I heartly approve (even if my friend that was at that school jokes that it has scarred her for life. :smallwink:).

All in all, a fairly comprehensive overview. Looking back, I'd wish they had focused more on homosexuality and transexuality, as that is a thing that hd me hugely confused at the time. They did mention it, but just in passing: maybe they felt they already had too much on their plate.

Asta Kask

2011-10-31, 06:53 AM

2. Female puberty, and menstruations (yeah, they gave only the most precursory explanation of the male puberty. I'm not sure why).

Well, nothing really interesting happens. I'd know.

2. The "Tab A and slot B" deal, what happens during and afterwards (the mechanics of a male erection, for instance, and how the sperm fertilizes the egg).

Ahh..., IKEA sex - the choice of a new generation. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IKEAErotica)

4. In particular, condoms, and how to use them. As I said, the focus was on STDs, so they wanted to imprint the notion that if you practice casual sex, you'd better use a condom. I remember the teacher saying "Look, sex is best enjoyed if you wait to do it with the person you love, and get to know them before, but if you do not want to wait, you have to know these things."

Yeah, something like this. I remember test tubes played a big role in explaining condoms.

H Birchgrove

2011-10-31, 10:42 AM

Yeah, something like this. I remember test tubes played a big role in explaining condoms.

Didn't make me feel inadequate. Not a bit. Not. A. Bit.

Asta Kask

2011-10-31, 11:39 AM

I wager quite a few girls were disappointed later on due to that class, yes. :smallbiggrin:

H Birchgrove

2011-10-31, 11:47 AM

I wager quite a few girls were disappointed later on due to that class, yes. :smallbiggrin:

Or relieved, hopefully? :smallwink:

Asta Kask

2011-10-31, 12:20 PM

Yeah, that too.

ShortOne

2011-10-31, 12:28 PM

...Has that guy ever been anywhere near an OB/GYN? Or even thought about the mechanics of childbirth? Or were all the births he's aware of conducted while the mother was heavily sedated?

...Actually, my mother had three natural homebirths and maintains that they were wonderful, painless experiences. She's one of about three women I've heard say that.

Haruki-kun

2011-10-31, 01:02 PM

...Actually, my mother had three natural homebirths and maintains that they were wonderful, painless experiences. She's one of about three women I've heard say that.

From what I understand, not all women have to endure it the same way. Some just don't feel much pain. But I think the majority of women will agree that it hurts a lot.

Asta Kask

2011-10-31, 01:47 PM

Okay, women of the forum. Imagine the opening of your vajayjay stretched open to the point where it can accomodate a good-sized flower pot.

http://en.fukesi.com/img/serve_pic/50344407_Plastic_Flower_Pot.jpg

How many people think that wouldn't hurt?

MoonCat

2011-10-31, 02:04 PM

<sneep>

Augh, I can feel my insides curling at the thought.

Asta Kask

2011-10-31, 02:13 PM

Here's an animation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xath6kOf0NE) for extra emphasis. I've never been so grateful for being a male. :eek:

John Cribati

2011-10-31, 06:05 PM

Yeah, something like this. I remember test tubes played a big role in explaining condoms.

Didn't make me feel inadequate. Not a bit. Not. A. Bit.

This exchange reminds me of a joke that centered around condom sizes.

Here's an animation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xath6kOf0NE) for extra emphasis. I've never been so grateful for being a male. :eek:

Damn it, don't you know some men have a sympathy pain complex?

CoffeeIncluded

2011-10-31, 09:28 PM

...Has that guy ever been anywhere near an OB/GYN? Or even thought about the mechanics of childbirth? Or were all the births he's aware of conducted while the mother was heavily sedated?

While it's grossly ignorant of the teacher to make such a claim; I have read that women somehow "forgets" how painful the ordeal was, otherwise they wouldn't give birth a second time willingly.

Maybe the foolish teacher had learned about sex from Addams Family Values (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addams_Family_Values)? :smalltongue:

I said so in page 3. :smalltongue:

I'm just confused about the logic of that. Mechanically speaking, a tampon can clearly block the flow of blood during menstruation (otherwise they wouldn't sell). It's less than an inch in diameter. A newborn baby's head is considerably larger than an inch in diameter. And it's supposed to fit through the same canal. A canal which is riddled with nerve endings, incidentally.

How can that end in any way other than physical pain?

Ok, that's so stupid it's funny.

...Actually, my mother had three natural homebirths and maintains that they were wonderful, painless experiences. She's one of about three women I've heard say that.

From what I understand, not all women have to endure it the same way. Some just don't feel much pain. But I think the majority of women will agree that it hurts a lot.

Augh, I can feel my insides curling at the thought.

Wow, wasn't really expecting that many responses. :smalltongue: Yeah, I think everybody was staring at him in disbelief at that moment too. Someone should have said something, but we were all still processing it.

Coidzor

2011-11-01, 04:47 AM

Okay, women of the forum. Imagine the opening of your vajayjay stretched open to the point where it can accomodate a good-sized flower pot.

My adult head isn't as big as a flower pot. Sure, it's a stretch, but let's not stretch things that much.

...Actually, my mother had three natural homebirths and maintains that they were wonderful, painless experiences. She's one of about three women I've heard say that.

Do her friends suddenly get very catty or attack her when she says this?

Asta Kask

2011-11-01, 02:44 PM

My adult head isn't as big as a flower pot. Sure, it's a stretch, but let's not stretch things that much.

I guess it depends on the size of the flower pot. Let's say a rugby ball, or an 'american football' ball. Better?

Starwulf

2011-11-01, 04:51 PM

...Actually, my mother had three natural homebirths and maintains that they were wonderful, painless experiences. She's one of about three women I've heard say that.

lol, funny story! My wife tried to go the natural childbirth way(no pain-relievers) for our first child. She lasted all the way up until she was fully dilated, and the contractions were really beginning in earnest, at which point she demanded I find a nurse and tell them she "WANTED DRUGS NOW!". Of course, afterwards, she didn't feel a THING, said she was practically numb from mid-chest down, she just "pushed"(Because she wasn't even sure she was pushing she was so numb) when the doctor told her too.

Because of that, her sister refused to even DUE a normal childbirth, instead she MADE the doctors perform a C-Section on her, for both of her kids.

On our second child, my wife didn't even bother trying to go natural, she told them from the get-go that she wanted the needle in the back. The woman who administered it was a complete you-know-what though, yelling at my wife because she was slipping off the bed(keep in mind, my wife isn't particularly tall, so her feet weren't even touching the floor, and the anesthesiologist(holy crap I spelled that right on my first try!) had her on the very edge of the bed), telling her she was just going to jam the damn needle in her if she didn't hold her balance(my wife was also already full into contractions by this point, the anesthesiologist was half an hour later for whatever reason). She was so entirely rude, that my mom, who doesn't get along very well with my wife, even commented on her being a you-know-what and that she felt bad for my wife having to put up with someone so rude.

The Succubus

2011-11-01, 05:50 PM

Here's an animation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xath6kOf0NE) for extra emphasis. I've never been so grateful for being a male. :eek:

I don't think I have enough eeks available to me to fully express my horror. :eek:

So, yeah, totally loving the whole "male" thing.

Coidzor

2011-11-01, 06:03 PM

What always gets me is that violin music. I swear every time I've seen that sort of thing I've heard that style or specific song of violin music.

And now I'm recalling a time when my religious middle school sent us on a field trip to a sciency museum type place and we dissected lambs' hearts and then went on to watch an IMAX or something of pregnancy and birth. :smallconfused:

Dr.Epic

2011-11-01, 06:59 PM

I never got the talk. I just kind of figured out everything through sex ed and episodes of South Park. Not sure the latter was the best means though.

H Birchgrove

2011-11-01, 07:19 PM

I never got the talk. I just kind of figured out everything through sex ed and episodes of South Park. Not sure the latter was the best means though.

I hope your sex ed. was good. :smalleek:

thubby

2011-11-01, 07:26 PM

Here's an animation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xath6kOf0NE)

*begins seriously contemplating getting vasectomy to remove all possibility of inflicting this on someone*

@birch: in the same way "survived 10 years as a PoW" is amazing.

H Birchgrove

2011-11-01, 07:27 PM

Am I the only one who thought "The female body is awesome" while watching the clip?

Coidzor

2011-11-01, 09:18 PM

*begins seriously contemplating getting vasectomy to remove all possibility of inflicting this on someone*
:smallconfused:

Am I the only one who thought "The female body is awesome" while watching the clip?

no, I was mostly distracted by the violin music. and the female body is awesome for reasons independent of childbirth. :smalltongue:

Whiffet

2011-11-01, 10:12 PM

I never got the talk. I just kind of figured out everything through sex ed and episodes of South Park. Not sure the latter was the best means though.

I just want to let you know; I grin every time you post something. :smallbiggrin:

thubby

2011-11-01, 11:17 PM

:smallconfused:

what? don't tell me seeing someones innards stretch like that isnt off-putting.

if children are the interest, there are far too many kids already in need of homes.

Asta Kask

2011-11-02, 05:35 AM

Remember, though, that the vagina stretches like that over the course of several hours - not a minute like in the animation. Still, tears and rips are not uncommon, and sometimes you have to cut to avoid more serious consequences. Ouch.

Glass Mouse

2011-11-02, 08:18 AM

Here's an animation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xath6kOf0NE) for extra emphasis. I've never been so grateful for being a male. :eek:

Blurghehgshdgla!

Regarding "The Talk", I'm one of many here who has no idea when I started knowing. I just know that my mom, being a nurse, has always been very frank about the mechanics. Sex has never been mysterious or embarassing in my family, so I've probably just soaked it up along the way.
When we were teenagers, my mom even bought condoms and went to large pains to tell us that they were in this drawer, and if we needed them, we MUST take them or buy ones like them, whichever we preferred. I already had a boyfriend at that point, and my brothers were too young to care, so it was a little awkward. But I still thought it was cool.
Not that we ever took a single one. Haha.

In school, we had one of those Sex Eds where we practised putting on condoms. We got cylinders, were forced to practice, and in the lunchbreak the boys blew up condoms like balloons, strapped them everywhere and squicked out the girls. Ahh... Good times :smallbiggrin:

I think my school's Sex Ed was good. I remember knowing everything beforehand, so the actual knowledge didn't make a huge impact, but the teachers were pedagogic and very non-threatening.
Boys and girls were separated which was a relief. It was strange how serious and constructive the education could be without boys snickering and cracking jokes at every turn. I'm sure they felt the same in their girls-free room.

I always hated how immature and embarassed all my classmates were around sex (up to and including gigglingly refusing to answer "two times three" because six and sex are pronounced the same here). Ugh.
I also caught my parents having sex once. It was a little funny (if nothing else for the look on their faces when I opened the door), but it wasn't traumatic in the slightest. I've never understood why some people are so ufhgjshblahgsd about their parents having sex. Isn't it a good thing that they still like eachother enough to do it? :smallconfused:

I knew about menstruation before I got my first, thankfully. The worst part was how happy my mom seemed about it (in an "isn't this exciting?" kind of way). I didn't want to grow up. I also hated growing breasts and didn't start wearing bras until it was absolutely unavoidable. I'm still not too fond of that part, to be honest.
Sex wasn't interesting to me as anything other than random knowledge until I got my boyfriend at age 15. It was part of that "growing up" thing I wasn't too fond of - which may also be why I never found it as exciting and giggle-worthy as my classmates did.

My mom also knew about menstruation before she got her first, but she remembers running to her dad and being excited about it, and his reaction was a loud "EWW!". That actually hurt her.
My dad's reaction was a shrug which fit me perfectly, but I'm sure I would've been equally hurt (and hated the situation even more) if he'd been grossed out. Thankfully he's a doctor and totally non-sentimental and non-embarassed about stuff like that.

Sorry about the massive post here. I just haven't thought about all this for years, so all kinds of memories popped up.

Coidzor

2011-11-02, 08:36 AM

what? don't tell me seeing someones innards stretch like that isnt off-putting.

Can't say I've ever witnessed any birth other than my own, no. As it is, I have trouble taking anything seriously when set to that kind of violin music and I've seen internet shock videos and image macros.

I figure, if my parents were able to somehow stomach such things 3 times, well, I certainly won't let it be said that my mother was made of sterner stuff than I. Or my father for that matter.

if children are the interest, there are far too many kids already in need of homes.

Generally it's children that have shared genes and haven't been irrevocably traumatized by whoever made them and the people that "took care of them." But adoption's neither really here nor there. I imagine there's even something about the intimacy of the act of making them in there somewhere.

I've never understood why some people are so ufhgjshblahgsd about their parents having sex. Isn't it a good thing that they still like eachother enough to do it? :smallconfused:

I think it's partially a combination between the bit where we mostly seem to have a tendency to be physically repulsed by the appearances of our parents and the awkward of having the realization of one's origins thrust into one's face.

ShortOne

2011-11-02, 01:55 PM

Do her friends suddenly get very catty or attack her when she says this?

No, most of them had similar experiences/are midwives. :smalltongue:

grimbold

2011-11-02, 02:20 PM

No, most of them had similar experiences/are midwives. :smalltongue:

today when i met you i was amazed by your lack of deformities

i was not aware home births are even still a thing in the States

Asta Kask

2011-11-02, 02:23 PM

Zigg'rrauglurr

2011-11-02, 02:38 PM

Hi all, aside from having posted my story, also wanted to add my best friend education.

Both his parent are Gynecologist/Obstetrician (his father is also a Proctologist), both he and his sister have an IQ over the roof. This led at having shockingly open conversations and discussions on their house of the matter at hand.

Imagine that their "How was your day?" question involved all the kinky words you are not posting here and funny stories of things shoved where didn't belong.

So basically their knowledge of how things worked was always advanced several years ahead of their experiences.

As for how they turned out... In general you can't call them "normal" people but I think it's because of their abnormal IQ distancing them from normal people. But yes, they are what "I" call eccentric, and that's a lot to say

Funny bit. At his birthday table, her mom, who really likes me and cares for me, makes the following question in a totally honest fashion (translated): Facundo (that's me), since you are so knowledgeable, could you explain me what a black kiss is?" ... :smalleek:

Glad to know she thinks of me as a encyclopedia on sexual affairs... :smallcool::smalltongue:

Coidzor

2011-11-02, 03:14 PM

^: Oh dear...:smalleek:
No, most of them had similar experiences/are midwives. :smalltongue:

In a modern city like Paris? Weird, you'd think more of them would need neonatal care for their offspring. :smallconfused: Must've hit the genetic lottery jackpot for friends and their mates, your mum.

H Birchgrove

2011-11-02, 04:41 PM

I just re-called something about home births, that most (?) of them are done "vertically", so gravity helps the baby out of the womb, which for some mothers make it easier and less painful. Maybe not all home births are done like that, but even so, it raise a question for me:

Can mothers get "gravity-assisted" child birth at hospitals? :smallconfused:

Funny bit. At his birthday table, her mom, who really likes me and cares for me, makes the following question in a totally honest fashion (translated): Facundo (that's me), since you are so knowledgeable, could you explain me what a black kiss is?" ... :smalleek:

Glad to know she thinks of me as a encyclopedia on sexual affairs... :smallcool::smalltongue:

I know Black Kiss is the title of a Mature Readers Only graphic novel by Howard Chaykin, but otherwise I have no clue on why a black kiss would be different from another kiss. :smallamused:

Asta Kask

2011-11-02, 04:42 PM

Don't look it up. Some things cannot be unlearned.

H Birchgrove

2011-11-02, 04:48 PM

Don't look it up. Some things cannot be unlearned.

Wikipedia only mentions the comic book, anyway, and I'm not tired (and stupid) enough to Google (with censorship off) risky things.

Asta Kask

2011-11-02, 04:52 PM

I just re-called something about home births, that most (?) of them are done "vertically", so gravity helps the baby out of the womb, which for some mothers make it easier and less painful. Maybe not all home births are done like that, but even so, it raise a question for me:

Can mothers get "gravity-assisted" child birth at hospitals? :smallconfused:

I doubt it. You have to be very precise or you'll miss and the baby will hit the ground hard.

I know Black Kiss is the title of a Mature Readers Only graphic novel by Howard Chaykin, but otherwise I have no clue on why a black kiss would be different from another kiss. :smallamused:

Let's just say that my cat gives himself a black kiss every day when he cleans his nether regions.

Glass Mouse

2011-11-02, 04:53 PM

I think it's partially a combination between the bit where we mostly seem to have a tendency to be physically repulsed by the appearances of our parents

We have? I know we're programmed to be sexually indifferent to our siblings (and parents, probably), but repulsed?

Objectively, I can see that my parents are both pretty good looking. Plus, they obviously care for eachother, so I can understand why they'd have sex. And again objectively, it's much better than the alternative.
Maybe I'm just too pragmatic about this.

and the awkward of having the realization of one's origins thrust into one's face.

Well, if you're under the illusion that your parents haven't had any intercourses that couldn't be irrefutably proved by someone's existence...... :smallwink:

I'm not sure if you're talking about the philosophical "I'm mortal" awkwardness, the "ewww, my birth was gross" awkwardness, the humiliating baby stories that such realizations tend to conjure, or something else entirely?

Please don't think I'm trying to be contrary. I really think these different perceptions are fascinating.

ShortOne

2011-11-02, 04:58 PM

I don't know... from my perspective home births are a bit like drunk driving. Yeah, it'll work out 99 times out of 100, but the 100th time you're in a world of **** and someone is going to be hurt. Probably someone innocent.

Harsh? Maybe, but I visited this page (http://whatstheharm.net/homechildbirth.html) and this page (http://homebirthdebate.blogspot.com/) to see what happens when things go wrong.

For each of my mother's three children, she spoke to her OBGYN to make sure homebirths were still safe. Every time he told her that for 9/10 problems with birth, they could be dealt with by midwives. The 10th that's serious enough to need a hospital? It would be too late even in a hospital.

In a modern city like Paris? Weird, you'd think more of them would need neonatal care for their offspring. :smallconfused: Must've hit the genetic lottery jackpot for friends and their mates, your mum.

Actually, in Massachusetts, I'm only in Paris for the semester. And midwives /are/ neonatal care. :smallannoyed:

H Birchgrove

2011-11-02, 04:59 PM

I doubt it. You have to be very precise or you'll miss and the baby will hit the ground hard.

Ouch. Good point.

But then again: pillows or some such? :smallconfused:

Let's just say that my cat gives himself a black kiss every day when he cleans his nether regions.

Aha. Rimming.

Shouldn't have been asked to a kid. :smallsigh: :smalleek:

Asta Kask

2011-11-02, 05:07 PM

Ouch. Good point.

But then again: pillows or some such? :smallconfused:

From what I've heard, it's also a matter of sparing the doctors' and midwives shoulders, neck and back. Standing like that every day is an open invitation for osteoarthritis. Remember, few women go into labor more than four or five times. Midwives and doctors deliver hundreds over their active career.

ShortOne

2011-11-02, 05:15 PM

Coidzor

2011-11-02, 05:17 PM

We have? I know we're programmed to be sexually indifferent to our siblings (and parents, probably), but repulsed?

Parents. They're old, generally speaking. I know mine are. And generally not in the best of physical condition from having raised a child or children. Possibly even given birth to and nursed some.

Objectively, I can see that my parents are both pretty good looking. Plus, they obviously care for eachother, so I can understand why they'd have sex. And again objectively, it's much better than the alternative.
Maybe I'm just too pragmatic about this.

More you seem to be desensitized to their bodies. The last time I was comfortable with them was when I was a young kid and they taught me how to shower.

Well, if you're under the illusion that your parents haven't had any intercourses that couldn't be irrefutably proved by someone's existence...... :smallwink:

More the visceralness of witnessing it being quite a different thing than knowing it at a theoretical level.

I'm not sure if you're talking about the philosophical "I'm mortal" awkwardness, the "ewww, my birth was gross" awkwardness, the humiliating baby stories that such realizations tend to conjure, or something else entirely?

More of a combination of factors, including seeing where one came from and how one was made being awkward on top of the awkward of sch a scenario with people who weren't one's parents.

The Glyphstone

2011-11-02, 05:19 PM

...I watched the clip and immediately thought of the Atropal...
http://images.wikia.com/forgottenrealms/images/6/6b/44165_C5_atropal.jpg

Coidzor

2011-11-02, 05:24 PM

Actually, in Massachusetts, I'm only in Paris for the semester. And midwives /are/ neonatal care. :smallannoyed:

Fine then, the kind of neonatal care that necessitates medical technology to keep a kid that would have died in the 90s alive long enough to grow up. :smalltongue:

ShortOne

2011-11-02, 06:14 PM

Fine then, the kind of neonatal care that necessitates medical technology to keep a kid that would have died in the 90s alive long enough to grow up. :smalltongue:

...

I've read that sentence four times now, and it still doesn't make sense. :smallconfused:

H Birchgrove

2011-11-02, 06:54 PM

Vertical as in the mothers standing up? My younger brothers and I were born on beds and couches.

That's what I meant.

Then I understand that in your mother's case, gravity* had nothing to do with the lesser pain, in comparison to other mothers.

* I could write "birthing position", but I guess some will at first think "position" has some naughty meaning.

...I watched the clip and immediately thought of the Atropal...
http://images.wikia.com/forgottenrealms/images/6/6b/44165_C5_atropal.jpg

Zombimode was right! :smalleek:

Coidzor

2011-11-02, 07:55 PM

...

I've read that sentence four times now, and it still doesn't make sense. :smallconfused:

I was specifically excluding such measures mentally due to not having a certain something. There ya go.

H Birchgrove

2011-11-02, 08:17 PM

ShortOne

2011-11-03, 04:24 AM

I was specifically excluding such measures mentally due to not having a certain something. There ya go.

...what??? I'd love to respond to your point, if I understood it. Are you saying that because you're male...something?

Coidzor

2011-11-03, 04:50 AM

...what??? I'd love to respond to your point, if I understood it. Are you saying that because you're male...something?

SCIENCE! Not enough of it in midwifery. Since I already specified that it involved the kinds of medical intervention beyond the purview of a lone individual without that expanded tier of options.

What's between my legs is rather irrelevant to that.

Tonal Architect

2011-11-03, 08:00 AM

From what I've heard, it's also a matter of sparing the doctors' and midwives shoulders, neck and back. Standing like that every day is an open invitation for osteoarthritis. Remember, few women go into labor more than four or five times. Midwives and doctors deliver hundreds over their active career.

Assuming it was in the interest of medical care at large to facilitate this, all that would be required would be a platform of sorts where a woman could stand taller than the doctor/midwife. Not overly complicated from our point-of-view, considering the things a dentist's chair is able to accomplish.

On vertical natural births, as far as I've heard, they're supposed to make the whole process a lot easier, and that instinctively, humans tend to go that way. There's some popular science myth that horizontal births became common place once a morbidly obese english queen was to carry her term to completion and was unable to do so standing, due to the consequences of her corpulent form, and ever since, it became "the thing" to copycat her, but I've never researched into the veracity of this.

Since the whole "black kiss" discussion gave me an opening to venture there... The drunken grandmother of a friend once described the process of childbirth as sh***ing a hot brick; don't mind the profanity, those were the exact same words she used.

...I guess it makes sense to deliver vertically.

ShortOne

2011-11-03, 05:50 PM

SCIENCE! Not enough of it in midwifery. Since I already specified that it involved the kinds of medical intervention beyond the purview of a lone individual without that expanded tier of options.

What's between my legs is rather irrelevant to that.

You clearly don't know the training midwives receive, then.

And that second sentence doesn't make sense. I've run it past multiple other people, it's not just me. Please explain what on earth you're talking about with all those generic words. Midwifery involves the kind of medical intervention beyond the purview of who? What expanded tier of options about what? Are you trying to be indirect in your manner of speech? :smallannoyed:

Eldan

2011-11-03, 05:52 PM

You clearly don't know the training midwives receive, then.

And that second sentence doesn't make sense. I've run it past multiple other people, it's not just me. Please explain what on earth you're talking about with all those generic words. Midwifery involves the kind of medical intervention beyond the purview of who? What expanded tier of options about what? Are you trying to be indirect in your manner of speech? :smallannoyed:

Hmm. Let me try and translate.

"Dude, one guy without smart-guy training can't hope to do everything in a childbirth."

I think.

H Birchgrove

2011-11-03, 06:03 PM

I find the notion that midwives aren't scientific enough to be silly and plain wrong. That's like claiming blacksmiths aren't scientific enough; what we really care about is that the blacksmith make proper horseshoes, not that they know at what exact temperature iron turns into steel. Midwives were for a long time THE experts in birthing children - and to a degree birth control - which annoyed the men in power who didn't want women to control their sexuality. When the men in power managed to regulate midwives, they had the decency to make medical doctors assist/educate the midwives, so midwives became better, not worse (even if they had men looking over their shoulders). When medical doctors finally realised the need to wash their hands with antiseptics, midwives started with it too.

Coidzor

2011-11-03, 06:45 PM

You clearly don't know the training midwives receive, then.

Never claimed to, I just was referring to a lot more than one person can cart with them to a home, especially in comparison to a facility dedicated to the medicinal arts.

And that second sentence doesn't make sense. I've run it past multiple other people, it's not just me. Please explain what on earth you're talking about with all those generic words. Midwifery involves the kind of medical intervention beyond the purview of who? What expanded tier of options about what? Are you trying to be indirect in your manner of speech? :smallannoyed:

Well, excuse me for not knowing the names of all of those med tech devices that they use with premature births and others that require hardcore intervention.

Which is what I was referring to, anyway.

I find the notion that midwives aren't scientific enough to be silly and plain wrong.

"SCIENCE!" refers to tech and machines, and flashy things, of course.

If I've been misinformed about their flashiness, I'll be curious and horrified to know.

Hmm. Let me try and translate.

"Dude, one guy without smart-guy training can't hope to do everything in a childbirth."

I think.

One person without equipment and assistance can't hope to do anything with a baby that's guaranteed to die without immediate intervention of modern medical equipment but not just plain guaranteed to die.

THAC0

2011-11-03, 06:56 PM

One person without equipment and assistance can't hope to do anything with a baby that's guaranteed to die without immediate intervention of modern medical equipment but not just plain guaranteed to die.

Generally, pregnancies that fall into the high-risk category can be determined before the birth and these facts can be incorporated into the decision making process as far as home birth vs not home birth. Of course, sometimes things go wrong. But sometimes things go wrong in hospitals too.

I definitely think that there are certain pregnancies that should in no way be allowed to culminate in a home birth, but for a standard pregnancy with a well-trained midwife, I don't see a problem.

Coidzor

2011-11-03, 06:59 PM

Generally, pregnancies that fall into the high-risk category can be determined before the birth and these facts can be incorporated into the decision making process as far as home birth vs not home birth.

Yes, and I was surprised that not a single individual in that entire extended social circle had ever had a complicated, high-risk pregnancy or been connected to someone who had. Then we got side-tracked into discussing the merits of mid-wives for some reason.

Starwulf

2011-11-03, 08:56 PM

Since the whole "black kiss" discussion gave me an opening to venture there... The drunken grandmother of a friend once described the process of childbirth as sh***ing a hot brick; don't mind the profanity, those were the exact same words she used.

...I guess it makes sense to deliver vertically.

That's actually kind of funny, considering it's actually not to uncommon for a woman to actually **** during childbirth. My wife didn't either two times, but she said if she hadn't gotten up and done so about 45 minutes before she delivered out second daughter, she's pretty damn positive she would have. Simply because when you're told to push, you push, and while you may be focusing on one area, the other area is still getting some of that "push" command. LOL.

This was all explained to me by my wifes Doctor during the first pregnancy, preparing us for all the wierd, or gross things that could possibly happen.

H Birchgrove

2011-11-03, 09:08 PM

That's actually kind of funny, considering it's actually not to uncommon for a woman to actually **** during childbirth. My wife didn't either two times, but she said if she hadn't gotten up and done so about 45 minutes before she delivered out second daughter, she's pretty damn positive she would have. Simply because when you're told to push, you push, and while you may be focusing on one area, the other area is still getting some of that "push" command. LOL.

This was all explained to me by my wifes Doctor during the first pregnancy, preparing us for all the wierd, or gross things that could possibly happen.

"Gross" parts are written in white letters. Viewer discretion is advised. :smallsigh:

Some scientists (!) claim that it's good for the baby to get some faeces on it during birth, that it triggers the immune system, and that we modern day humans are too hygienic. (We get allergies etc as a result.) IIRC procedure at hospitals have already started to change due to this discovery. Pregnant mothers used to get enemas right before childbirth, now they don't.

Yeah, it kinda weirds me out too, but if it's scientists (!) who say so... Mind, there's bacteria and there's bacteria; some may trigger the immune system, some kills you. If I understand it correctly, constant infections like common cold and flu weakens the body, and through epigenetics, descendants of people who often suffered from such infections can get issues like type-2 diabetes and obesity more often than descendants of people who didn't usually had that type of diseases.

But if you live in the countryside, in a farm with cattle, you often breath in particles from manure containing certain bacteria, which evidently is good for you. It trims the immune system, making allergies less common. (The country air also contain less pollution from combustion engines and fossil fuel power plants, but that's a different topic.)

Ceric

2011-11-04, 01:25 AM

...I didn't even read the whited-out parts and I think I've decided I never want to have a baby ever :smalleek:

Mono Vertigo

2011-11-04, 04:45 AM

...I didn't even read the whited-out parts and I think I've decided I never want to have a baby ever :smalleek:
Took you that long? I remembered several pages ago why I had decided never to get pregnant. :smallbiggrin:

Coidzor

2011-11-04, 05:02 AM

Took you that long? I remembered several pages ago why I had decided never to get pregnant. :smallbiggrin:

Raising children is awkward and unpleasant because of having to give talks like the birds and the bees?

Zeb The Troll

2011-11-04, 06:06 AM

Glass Mouse

2011-11-04, 06:27 AM

thubby

2011-11-04, 06:31 AM

They have to do an incredibly draining task... while completely sugar cold? :smalleek:

they can pump you full of enough of w/e you need with an IV

H Birchgrove

2011-11-04, 07:01 AM

I suppose that in the past, the mothers got water with proper amounts of salt and sugar.

Am I the only one here who has experienced the wonderment that is to press your ear to a pregnant woman's tummy and listen for the baby's kicks? :smallconfused: :smallsmile:

The possibility of a bowel movement during the delivery is why mothers in labor are not (generally) allowed to eat once they are admitted. If they are scheduled for medically assisted delivery (C-section or having labor induced), they aren't (generally) allowed to eat for 12 hours before being admitted.

Caesarean section is surgery, so the reason is different though not unrelated. Processing food demands lot of blood to the intestines, as well having *stuff* inside vital organs, which make most serious operations very risky.

(Going away from the topic: during WWII, German military doctors told soldiers to not eat before combat, since it was very likely that they would be hit by bullets and/or shrapnel. Not only was surgery easier when the soldiers had not eaten, the soldiers who had not eaten suffered less blood loss if they had been hit in or around the stomach.

I wonder if modern day soldiers - from industrialized countries - have similar restrictions/recommendations, now that soldiers usually wear bullet proof vests.)

I wonder what it says about me that I can bring up combat surgery in a discussion about sex, family planning and childbirth.

Zeb The Troll

2011-11-04, 08:33 AM

They have to do an incredibly draining task... while completely sugar cold? :smalleek:Not exactly.

they can pump you full of enough of w/e you need with an IVYep. And they usually insert a catheter so that need is taken care of for you too, especially if she gets the epidural, which necessitates being bed ridden until it's removed.

Asta Kask

2011-11-04, 11:43 AM

Generally, pregnancies that fall into the high-risk category can be determined before the birth and these facts can be incorporated into the decision making process as far as home birth vs not home birth. Of course, sometimes things go wrong. But sometimes things go wrong in hospitals too.

I definitely think that there are certain pregnancies that should in no way be allowed to culminate in a home birth, but for a standard pregnancy with a well-trained midwife, I don't see a problem.

This I agree with. My beef was with women who have had 2 C-sections and decide to have an unassisted childbirth. (http://mamabirth.blogspot.com/2010/04/guest-birth-story-unassisted-home-birth.html) Yeah, it went well. And you can drive home safely while being drunk out off your skull. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Starwulf

2011-11-04, 02:27 PM

Coidzor

2011-11-04, 04:35 PM

The possibility of a bowel movement during the delivery is why mothers in labor are not (generally) allowed to eat once they are admitted. If they are scheduled for medically assisted delivery (C-section or having labor induced), they aren't (generally) allowed to eat for 12 hours before being admitted.

Indeed, that's why when my mother had me, she demanded my father stop at an Italian restaurant on the way to the hospital after she had me, because she knew she wouldn't be allowed to eat and she had been on her way to lunch.

This was after she used her water breaking as an excuse to cut ahead in line to vote, and I can't recall if this was before or after she had my dad drive her to an art museum so that she could at least do the walking in an environment she enjoyed rather than at a hospital.

I think it took them something like 3-4 hours to get to the hospital after things started.

MoonCat

2011-11-04, 06:09 PM

This I agree with. My beef was with women who have had 2 C-sections and decide to have an unassisted childbirth. (http://mamabirth.blogspot.com/2010/04/guest-birth-story-unassisted-home-birth.html) Yeah, it went well. And you can drive home safely while being drunk out off your skull. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

What could have happened? I don't know much about that sort of thing, so I have no idea.

Worira

2011-11-04, 06:14 PM

The child could have died. The mother could also have, although not as likely.

grimbold

2011-11-04, 07:56 PM

The child could have died. The mother could also have, although not as likely.

this

you have to be careful with childbirth
risks here can take 2 lives not just 1

Balain

2011-11-04, 09:16 PM

Starwulf

2011-11-04, 09:56 PM

I believe you should start the talk young. The talk has to be age appropriate of course. The talk should also be ongoing through to 20's or later even. It's sad in this culture it is so hard to talk about when it's so much apart of our nature. In some cultures, not only do parents have a talk and explain things with their children they have demonstrations.

20's? May I ask why? I never particularly got the talk when I was younger, but I"ll be damned, I DEFINITELY don't want to hear anything sex-related from my elderly parents now that I'm 29(or would have wanted to hear anything when I was 21, or 25). Anytime my Dad makes a sex-related joke nowadays, I just put a mental block on it inside my head and firmly shove it out of existence. My dad is 65 years old, my mom is 73. I don't want to hear ANYTHING sex-related from them, the images they draw up are enough to make me want to shove a red-hot poker through my eyes and sear that part of my brain.

Objection

2011-11-05, 02:16 AM

I think the idea of continuing the talk into that time is to reinforce the knowledge and make sure it stays in the brain, since not all of us are going to be putting it into practice very often.

Asta Kask

2011-11-05, 03:33 AM

What could have happened? I don't know much about that sort of thing, so I have no idea.

A c-section weakens the uterine wall and it could come apart. This is not a good thing. The bleeding could put the mother at severe risk and if you're not in a hospital, the baby is toast.

Dr.Epic

2011-11-05, 07:45 AM

I hope your sex ed. was good. :smalleek:

Meh, South Park wasn't so bad.:smallwink:

John Cribati

2011-11-05, 01:24 PM

What do you plan to do when your4 kids actually want to talk about sex-related things? In general, I think the thing is to just answer the question that they ask. As in, don't go talking about sex because she wants to know where babies come from. They come from the womb. That's all they wanted to know.

Zeb The Troll

2011-11-05, 02:09 PM

That's not true at all. My wife was induced both times, and she was allowed to eat beforehand.Note that I deliberately qualified that when I said it. I've been present for or a part of the delivery process for half a dozen children over the course of 23 years (two of my own, two grandkids, and partner for a surrogate mother twice). I don't know everything, but I'm hardly a stranger to the process. Your one anecdotal example does not, in any way, negate my general observation. Give me a little bit of credit that I might know a little something about the topic before commenting on it. :smallannoyed:

Starwulf

2011-11-05, 02:52 PM

Note that I deliberately qualified that when I said it. I've been present for or a part of the delivery process for half a dozen children over the course of 23 years (two of my own, two grandkids, and partner for a surrogate mother twice). I don't know everything, but I'm hardly a stranger to the process. Your one anecdotal example does not, in any way, negate my general observation. Give me a little bit of credit that I might know a little something about the topic before commenting on it. :smallannoyed:

I said what I said because it goes completely against my experiences. Not just with my wife, but with her sister as well, and my best friends now ex-fiancee when she gave birth. So, while you've observed 6 births, I've observed 5, and at all of them, they were allowed to eat prior. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that in my personal experience, I've never personally observed it. Both of ours are anecdotal evidence however, I think we'd need to have a poll of qualified medical professionals to find out for sure what the proper procedure is. :)

MoonCat

2011-11-05, 02:55 PM

A c-section weakens the uterine wall and it could come apart. This is not a good thing. The bleeding could put the mother at severe risk and if you're not in a hospital, the baby is toast.

Ah, I see. :smalleek: Thanks.

grimbold

2011-11-05, 03:16 PM

Ah, I see. :smalleek: Thanks.

if you want more horror i believe there is a cracked.com article on it (however might only be in You Might be A Zombie)

MoonCat

2011-11-05, 03:26 PM

if you want more horror i believe there is a cracked.com article on it (however might only be in You Might be A Zombie)

Yeah, I read it. But the :smalleek: was because I hadn't known how dangerous it was.

Coidzor

2011-11-05, 03:50 PM

Yeah, I read it. But the :smalleek: was because I hadn't known how dangerous it was.

Is kinda lamentable that it's promoted as a measure of convenience, yeah.

Zeb The Troll

2011-11-05, 04:59 PM

I said what I said because it goes completely against my experiences. Not just with my wife, but with her sister as well, and my best friends now ex-fiancee when she gave birth. So, while you've observed 6 births, I've observed 5, and at all of them, they were allowed to eat prior. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that in my personal experience, I've never personally observed it.You said "That's not true at all" not "that's not what my experiences suggest". I at least acknowledged that others may have experiences that differ from mine. You implied I was either lying or grossly misinformed.

Both of ours are anecdotal evidence however, I think we'd need to have a poll of qualified medical professionals to find out for sure what the proper procedure is. :)I'd assume we'd get different opinions on that being that "qualified medical professionals" are the ones who make these decisions for our loved ones. (For what it's worth, the father of one of the surrogates was a pediatrician and he's the one who explained to me why this was the case when I asked. Admittedly, not an OB, but still a doctor and likely something he learned as part of his core learning before specializing.)

The Glyphstone

2011-11-05, 05:03 PM

If I understand it correctly, constant infections like common cold and flu weakens the body, and through epigenetics, ancestors of people who often suffered from such infections can get issues like type-2 diabetes and obesity more often than ancestors of people who didn't usually had that type of diseases.

You meant to say 'descendants of' here, right?:smallconfused:

Starwulf

2011-11-05, 08:53 PM

You said "That's not true at all" not "that's not what my experiences suggest". I at least acknowledged that others may have experiences that differ from mine. You implied I was either lying or grossly misinformed.

I'd assume we'd get different opinions on that being that "qualified medical professionals" are the ones who make these decisions for our loved ones. (For what it's worth, the father of one of the surrogates was a pediatrician and he's the one who explained to me why this was the case when I asked. Admittedly, not an OB, but still a doctor and likely something he learned as part of his core learning before specializing.)

Hmm, you're right, I do apologize for how I worded my response. I should have said "In my experience it's been the opposite". Sorry bout that ^^

H Birchgrove

2011-11-05, 09:43 PM

Meh, South Park wasn't so bad.:smallwink:

I'll eagerly await Dr. Epic's quest for the ****oris. :smallamused:

Edit: I didn't know that that word was offensive. :smallconfused:

Is kinda lamentable that it's promoted as a measure of convenience, yeah.

This. So much this. :smallsigh:

There was a lot of debate on "convenient" c-sections* over here in the proverbial duck pond. The negative voices should have said what you said, not just that children needs the stress from being born the conventional way.

* Demanded by pregnant mothers who didn't want the pain or wanted to plan the birth.

You meant to say 'descendants of' here, right?:smallconfused:

Yes. :smallsigh: Thanks for the correction, I keep confusing those two terms. Post has been edited.