Alchemy 101

[pendell]

It seems the quest to turn base material into gold continues. In this case, it wasn't lead (http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/man-who-tried-to-turn-his-faeces-into-gold-is-jailed-16066385.html#ixzz1bJ2MVNKu) .

Also , when he set the .. um, material .. on his apartment's electric heater, he managed to set the building on fire.


Hmm. I guess the takeway from this for budding alchemists is A) do not attempt alchemy if you've been taking drugs and B) use an actual laboratory and observe the safety protocols.

Although I suppose if you could afford a real lab, you wouldn't be trying this experiment anyway.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Arminius]

Someone needs to buy that man a chemistry book. We've progressed a bit since the middle ages, and he seems to have missed it.

[The Succubus]

Too....many....jokes....

Must....resist......use of....slang......:smallyuk::smalltongue:

[LaZodiac]

Theoreticaly you can actually turn Lead into Gold. They aren't that far off on the Periodic Table, are they?

[Traab]

Too....many....jokes....

Must....resist......use of....slang......:smallyuk::smalltongue:

Now now, we dont need any potty humor here. /whistles innocently.

How would heating feces turn it into gold? How would heating ANYTHING turn it into gold? Even mentally disturbed people should question the logic behind that idea.


Theoreticaly you can actually turn Lead into Gold. They aren't that far off on the Periodic Table, are they?

Theoretically yes, however, im not sure how long it would take to alter it atom by atom until it reaches a point where there is some lead turned into gold on a visible scale to the naked eye. Thats a LOT of lead atoms that would have to be altered.

[pendell]

The only thing I can figure is that he must have assumed the material contained trace elements of gold. Heating the material would get rid of the waste product, allowing things with a much higher melting point (such as precious metal) to be left behind for collection.

The flaw in that theory, I suspect, is that while the human body is composed of things like iron , there isn't enough to be of commercial value even if you rendered down the entire body.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Coidzor]

Theoreticaly you can actually turn Lead into Gold. They aren't that far off on the Periodic Table, are they?

Gold has 3 less protons than lead, so you're actually better off using alpha radiation to add protons.

At least, IIRC, lead is pretty resistant to radioactive decay causing it to lose those three protons, being the end result of most radioactive element's decay.

And, well, no one's really all that keen on splitting lead atoms.

[Asta Kask]

Synthesis of valuable metals. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthesis_of_precious_metals)

[Gator]

Turning some lead into gold, eh? Some of us just say we're dropping the kids off at the pool.

[Telonius]

The only thing I can figure is that he must have assumed the material contained trace elements of gold. Heating the material would get rid of the waste product, allowing things with a much higher melting point (such as precious metal) to be left behind for collection.

The flaw in that theory, I suspect, is that while the human body is composed of things like iron , there isn't enough to be of commercial value even if you rendered down the entire body.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Back when I was a kid, I'd heard an urban legend about something similar. Some kid found out that there were trace amounts of gold in the human body, particularly fingernails. So he started saving up his clippings, until he had about a 10-pound bag of the stuff. Then he tried to figure out how to get the gold out of them. Sadly, it would have cost more for him to melt down the fingernails, than he would have made by getting the gold.

[dgnslyr]

Well, since gold is money, it would make you a little bit of gold. Burn some poo, save on gas bills, make some gold. Clearly, he's much saner than we give him credit.