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Mr. Anon Omys
2011-10-26, 10:20 AM
I have a request to make of the playground: I need cheese related puns for one of my characters.

In a game I am playing, one of my characters recently received a battleaxe with a wonderful effect, Dex damage each swing. The caveat is that the axe needs to be swung while my character is making a cheese pun in order to activate the magic. So, I need some cheese puns, be they gouda or bad, so that my axe can be most effective when fighting off the munsters.

The Succubus
2011-10-26, 10:27 AM
"When you gouda go, you gouda go."

"I shall set you free from your fetas!"

"Be edamned for eternity!"

"Ever wondered how the holes get made in Swiss cheese? IT. WAS. ME." :smallfurious:

"Wow, are these monsters brie-ding down here?"

Traab
2011-10-26, 10:40 AM
"Im sorry if you are feeling bleu"
"Our wizard bleu a hole right through your friend!"
"Ok guys, cut the chedder." (chatter? I may be pushing that one a bit)
"Sorry if my lines are cheesy"

GeekGirl
2011-10-26, 10:53 AM
Relevant (http://youtu.be/cmBwYTvjHCU?t=1m50s) ^_^

OracleofWuffing
2011-10-26, 10:58 AM
Dex damage on each swing? Sounds kind of sharp to me.

...

I E O Killer Tofu.

The Succubus
2011-10-26, 11:06 AM
"Im sorry if you are feeling bleu"
"Our wizard bleu a hole right through your friend!"
"Ok guys, cut the chedder." (chatter? I may be pushing that one a bit)
"Sorry if my lines are cheesy"

You're not being very mature about this, Traab and those jokes are really starting to grate. :smalltongue:

Did the axe drop from a gorgon named Zola?

Maxios
2011-10-26, 11:09 AM
"After I'm done with you, you'll need stiltons just to be as tall as you were before!"

Kol Korran
2011-10-26, 01:02 PM
i have nothing to contribute, i just wanted to say:

... I love this thread! :smallbiggrin:

DoctorGlock
2011-10-26, 03:08 PM
Cheddar? I hardly knew her!
Un-brie-dled rage, cut forth!

Ravens_cry
2011-10-26, 03:27 PM
You say you are a priest, I say you are as holy as swiss* cheese!
Your face and odour resemble the legendary Gorgon Zola.
You may think yourself sharp as cheddar, but you shall melt like mozzarella before my fury!
You thought you had a whey to beat me, but I curd you of that notion!
*Before anyone gets flustered at the anachronism, a lot of cheese names come from places, like the village Cheddar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheddar) in England.

navar100
2011-10-26, 05:36 PM
Eat baked beans before you play. When you roll dice to hit, "cut the cheese".

Cannonsmack
2011-10-26, 08:29 PM
"Have you gotten soft?"
"You've aged quite enough!"
"I am your munster!"
"Butte head!"
"Your blood shall curd-le!"
"I am feta-p with this nonsense, asiago luego" (too much?)
"Just in queso, I will slice you again!"
"I shall make this a morbier scene!"
"Just you and me, romano e' romano"
"You just bleu it"

Traab
2011-10-26, 09:23 PM
Aw cheese, I just got this armor cleaned!

nedz
2011-10-26, 10:05 PM
Take this you Gammon Bear !

You're going to be a Mort a Fella !

Whose Laughing Now ?

Yeah Boar San-dwitch.

When Slayed Ale is best.

Shyftir
2011-10-26, 10:31 PM
"HaHa! I love slaying Munsters!"
"Are you a half-orc or a Hav-arti?"

Dimers
2011-10-27, 12:17 AM
I am the DAIRY best.

If you've got a bright idea on how to stay alive a few more seconds, quick, RENNET by me.

You made a bad mistake, sonny, trying to mix it up with me and my friends. Now I'm going to have to deal you greivous bodily PARM, ME SAN.

Oh QUESO long! ("Okay! So long!")

I've CREAMed so many of you guys, I've practically started a COTTAGE industry.

Oh, this is gonna get your GOAT.

CHEESE Louise, no need to WINE about it ...

Say CHEESE!

I've been thinking about using my fallen enemies' bones to make a throne. But I think I'd prefer a more comfortable seat -- maybe a CHEESE lounge?

Looks like I'm gonna hafta make with the havoc-wreaking. Yeah, a good RIC OTTA set you straight.

I call my axe 'Manchy'. Wanna know why? Here's why -- go, MANCHE, GO!

Me and my trusty axe, WHEEL defeat you.

Give me a sesame seed bun, 'cuz from your severed arms and legs I shall make a LIMBURGER!

COWer in fear!

I'm gonna cut off your arm and CHEVRE it up your ***!

I'll paint a FRESCO with your blood!

I'm about to JACK you up.

**waves axe in a small circle** WAX on ... **lops off a head** Whacks off.

I'm sure you're MARBLING at my expertise.

Ha! You think you can win? It's NACHO time.

You might wonder how I got to be this great. It's all about solo practice. That's right -- I imPROV OLONE.

(With apologies to the Wasteland and Fallout 2 video games ...) I'm gonna RIND you into a thin red paste!

If you can convince the DM to let you do the pun after the hit, you can bend over the corpse of the victim and stick a feather in his hat. Yes, that's obscure, but that just makes it a nice break from the direct, mangled-language style.

Cheese types I know but haven't figured out how to pun off of and haven't seen done here:
paneer
fontina
camembert
emmentaler
neufchatel
gruyere
roquefort
mozzarella
pecorino
colby
mascarpone
piave
leyden
jarlsberg
wensleydale

suhkkaet
2011-10-27, 02:04 AM
You better gorg-on my zola (proceed to summon/gate a solar)

Other than that, I can't think of anything. :smalleek:

Edit; WAIT!
What cheese do you use to coax a bear from a tree? Come-on-bear (camembert)

This is nacho (nat-cho or, not your) cheese! (could be anything but "cheese", as long as it's not theirs)

Also, remember to call all of your hoses mascarpone (mask-a-pony).

I hope you're alright with being called legendairy, though. :P

Have an edam good day.

Ravens_cry
2011-10-27, 02:12 AM
@Dimers: From your list of unpunned cheeses:
I don't give a Roquefort who you are!
You'll have a mozzarella of a time beating us!

The Succubus
2011-10-27, 03:58 AM
You are now loading Zork.

> Go north.

You go north. You are eaten by a gruyere.

Hironomus
2011-10-27, 04:23 AM
You appear to be over leyden. Allow me to ease your burden.

You should have built a bigger roquefort.

I am legenDAIRY!

Can't we find some way aROUND this?

*shudder* I hate puns.

Mr. Anon Omys
2011-10-27, 08:12 AM
I have a few of my own, which I will share for completeness:

(to a shapeshifter) I see you gruyere hair/arms/claws/fangs/ect. out.
You have my parmesan to die.

Also relevant: Cheese! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cheeses)

Dienekes
2011-10-27, 08:35 AM
You horrible muenster
Teleme about it
How much do you whey?
Stop these puns or I will break down and brie.
Don't make an asiago of yourself.
Good grevé.
Wow, you're pretty limburger.
Take a bitto this and a bitto that
These puns are getting harzer and harzer

Are you ok? Ayib.

Cespenar
2011-10-27, 08:43 AM
Traps ahead. Better summon an Emmental.

nedz
2011-10-27, 02:44 PM
Cheese types I know but haven't figured out how to pun off of and haven't seen done here:
paneer
fontina
camembert
emmentaler
neufchatel
gruyere
roquefort
mozzarella
pecorino
colby
mascarpone
piave
leyden
jarlsberg
wensleydale
Er, I did three of these already.

Enough Chatter its knife time.
Carefully does it.

Lord.Sorasen
2011-10-27, 03:04 PM
Cheese types I know but haven't figured out how to pun off of and haven't seen done here:
paneer
fontina
camembert
emmentaler
neufchatel
gruyere
roquefort
mozzarella
pecorino
colby
mascarpone
piave
leyden
jarlsberg
wensleydale

If you're a kobold, your name could be colby. Unfortunately that's all I got. Some of these are just beautiful.