Iamyourking
2011-11-04, 12:39 AM
As those of you who have been following the Demotivator and Gates of Heaven threads know; I am a gigantic fan of Zoofights. I have also received permission to collect votes from outside the two official forums. By extension, that means that going here is a good place for said votes, seeing as how the kind of people who frequent Giant in the Playground are the kind of people who would probably like Zoofights.
First, an explanation for those of you who are unfamiliar with the noble sport. Zoofights is a web-based fighting tournament where two horrific and heavily modified beasts slug it out, with the winner determined through a combination of popular vote and a mystical "Random Factor Like A Tractor". Bonus points are awarded for particularly good arguments, art, creative writing, and the like; but the votes are the important part. Since this is the final match of the year; I figured I might as well try to stir up some outside support, and that's where you all come in. Just post or PM your vote for which of the three fighters should win, and provide a brief explanation for why. The catch is, they have to take the form of pictures of you holding up your vote, although your faces can be obscured, since this has to be cross posted and pictures are much harder to fake than pure text. You have until Saturday morning to make your votes, so don't delay.
Now to meet your contestants:
The Mechanized Marauder, the Scoundrel of the Seas, the Cheating Crustacean: Hardcore Prawn II: Claws for Concern!
http://i.imgur.com/Ivo3q.jpg
This mighty beast is sponsored by the Microsoft Corporation and bears a striking resemblance to previous crowd favorite Steamcrab. This is only skin-deep though, as while Steamcrab was honorable to a fault Hardcore Prawn is an extremely opportunistic fighter with no hesitation to play dirty and even outright cheat. While his suit was torn apart in his first fight, he still beat the giant praying mantis with chainsaw pincers by tricking her into a game of tic-tac-toe and plugging her in the face with a revolver and in his third fight he took advantage of a terrifying hybrid of tiger and monster truck’s honorable nature to hurl him into a pool of lava. Although he began as a normal sized lobster driving a giant mechanical lobster, he has undergone gene therapy to become a giant lobster himself and his former suit hooked up to his nerve endings to give him perfect control of it. Supplemented with powerful mechanical legs for speed and maneuverability, a magnetically powered gauss rifle that hurls bullets at incredible speeds, fearsome chainsaws on the inside of his claws, flight-capable rocket boosters, and a sinister red button on his wrist; he is truly a force to be reckoned with.
Pros:
Easily the most armored fighter
Arguably the only fighter with ranged attacks, certainly the best
The largest and heaviest fighter
Computerized targeting protocols
The only flight capable fighter
Absolutely merciless
Champions have a history of being sea creatures
Cons:
Foes are aware of his trickery
Rockets are very fast, but not maneuverable
Vulnerable to having his tech disrupted
Slowest and least skilled fighter
Little to no way to harm ghosts
The Aztec Adversary, the Legendary Luchador, the Ghost Commanding Goliath; Armour Dio and the Super Barrio Brothers!
http://i.imgur.com/F1dfw.jpg
Mexico’s first ever contestant, the gigantic lucha libre armadillo known as Armour Dio has had a long series of successes in his time in the ring. He has been the underdog in all of his fights so far; yet has managed to overcome the colossal strength of Gadadhara, the incredible speed and lightning abilities of Horsepower, and even the teamwork and extensive arsenal of the Mangolin Pangolins; who he has now enslaved to be his ghostly servants. That doesn’t even come close to his full spectral arsenal though, as he can call upon the spirits of his armadillo ancestors and command loose ghosts to fight as his side. While they are unable to harm mortal beings directly; they can disrupt technology, fly through air and solid obstacles alike, and change the temperature of nonliving materials. Equally impressive are his hand-to-hand combat skills; as he is strong, skilled, and agile in equal measure and possessed of a super dense shell that has proven itself able to withstand being hit by a car going 60 miles per hour. He’s beaten the last competitor once, and as far he’s concerned he can do it again.
Pros:
Very hard shell, although not as tough as Hardcore Prawn’s armor
Extremely skilled luchador combining the best traits of technical and power fighters
Ghosts are probably unkillable and make good distractions and screens
Ghosts are very useful against Hardcore Prawn
Still has the Pangolins’ car and arsenal of weapons
Has already beaten Vighneshvara once
Cons:
Little to no protection on his chest
Lucha Libre is more of a spectator sport than a true martial art
Smallest and physically weakest fighter
Ghosts are practically useless against Vighneshvara
Is probably incapable of using the Pangolins’ gear himself
Has improved far less as a fighter than Vighneshvara
The only fighter with no secret weapon
The Rajah of Reaping, the Killer Kshatriya, the Slaughtering Sage of the Subcontinent; Vighneshvara the Lord of Obstacles!
http://i.imgur.com/15FDh.jpg
Hailing from India, this four armed pachyderm was once a humble steelworker and bar-room brawler; entered into Zoofights to capitalize on the success of the previous year’s champion, the fearsome Croctopus. Although he suffered a gouged-out eye and cracked skull in his first match, he was given a second chance in the losers bracket and has beaten a pair of perfectly coordinated flying moray eels, a satanic zombie rabbit, a terror bird with a chainsaw for an arm, a tag-team boxing duo of an anthropomorphic bison and a dolphin in a mech suit, an iguana the size of a small house, a horrifying frog who may have been the Slender Man, and a giant praying mantis with all the powers of the classes of the original Final Fantasy to get a second chance at the championship. He’s left his humble origins behind; becoming first an executive at the company that created him and a masterful warrior, then a divinely empowered sage with the skills of the greatest boxer of all time and his ruined eyes replaced with literal eyes of the tiger and a spiritually attuned third eye, and is now practically a demigod equipped with extremely dense and heavy boxing gloves, a nine foot long sword, and a sacred skull noose of Kali.
Pros:
Skilled street fighter and brawler
Extremely proficient with all manner of weapons
The greatest boxer of all time
Strength and endurance far surpassing even what his gigantic size would indicate
Surprisingly agile
Inheritor to three millennia of martial tradition
All of his chakras are open
Divine powers that could be anything from merely enhanced strength and endurance plus limited clairvoyance to being able to shoot chi blasts out of his central eye and making a bow and arrow out of sunlight to being able to drop mountains on people or make the sky rain fire
Cons:
Going up against two immensely well armored foes while not wearing any himself
His one loss was to Armour Dio
Nobody from the loser’s league has ever been champion
Will be facing much steeper resistance before the match; the other two have to fight each other for the chance to reach him while he has to fight a PCP fueled drunken snapping turtle the size of a skyscraper before he can fight them. However, he has prepared a secret weapon (That he will win is a certainty, that he will get out of it unscathed is not).
Place your votes now and become a part of Zoofights history!
First, an explanation for those of you who are unfamiliar with the noble sport. Zoofights is a web-based fighting tournament where two horrific and heavily modified beasts slug it out, with the winner determined through a combination of popular vote and a mystical "Random Factor Like A Tractor". Bonus points are awarded for particularly good arguments, art, creative writing, and the like; but the votes are the important part. Since this is the final match of the year; I figured I might as well try to stir up some outside support, and that's where you all come in. Just post or PM your vote for which of the three fighters should win, and provide a brief explanation for why. The catch is, they have to take the form of pictures of you holding up your vote, although your faces can be obscured, since this has to be cross posted and pictures are much harder to fake than pure text. You have until Saturday morning to make your votes, so don't delay.
Now to meet your contestants:
The Mechanized Marauder, the Scoundrel of the Seas, the Cheating Crustacean: Hardcore Prawn II: Claws for Concern!
http://i.imgur.com/Ivo3q.jpg
This mighty beast is sponsored by the Microsoft Corporation and bears a striking resemblance to previous crowd favorite Steamcrab. This is only skin-deep though, as while Steamcrab was honorable to a fault Hardcore Prawn is an extremely opportunistic fighter with no hesitation to play dirty and even outright cheat. While his suit was torn apart in his first fight, he still beat the giant praying mantis with chainsaw pincers by tricking her into a game of tic-tac-toe and plugging her in the face with a revolver and in his third fight he took advantage of a terrifying hybrid of tiger and monster truck’s honorable nature to hurl him into a pool of lava. Although he began as a normal sized lobster driving a giant mechanical lobster, he has undergone gene therapy to become a giant lobster himself and his former suit hooked up to his nerve endings to give him perfect control of it. Supplemented with powerful mechanical legs for speed and maneuverability, a magnetically powered gauss rifle that hurls bullets at incredible speeds, fearsome chainsaws on the inside of his claws, flight-capable rocket boosters, and a sinister red button on his wrist; he is truly a force to be reckoned with.
Pros:
Easily the most armored fighter
Arguably the only fighter with ranged attacks, certainly the best
The largest and heaviest fighter
Computerized targeting protocols
The only flight capable fighter
Absolutely merciless
Champions have a history of being sea creatures
Cons:
Foes are aware of his trickery
Rockets are very fast, but not maneuverable
Vulnerable to having his tech disrupted
Slowest and least skilled fighter
Little to no way to harm ghosts
The Aztec Adversary, the Legendary Luchador, the Ghost Commanding Goliath; Armour Dio and the Super Barrio Brothers!
http://i.imgur.com/F1dfw.jpg
Mexico’s first ever contestant, the gigantic lucha libre armadillo known as Armour Dio has had a long series of successes in his time in the ring. He has been the underdog in all of his fights so far; yet has managed to overcome the colossal strength of Gadadhara, the incredible speed and lightning abilities of Horsepower, and even the teamwork and extensive arsenal of the Mangolin Pangolins; who he has now enslaved to be his ghostly servants. That doesn’t even come close to his full spectral arsenal though, as he can call upon the spirits of his armadillo ancestors and command loose ghosts to fight as his side. While they are unable to harm mortal beings directly; they can disrupt technology, fly through air and solid obstacles alike, and change the temperature of nonliving materials. Equally impressive are his hand-to-hand combat skills; as he is strong, skilled, and agile in equal measure and possessed of a super dense shell that has proven itself able to withstand being hit by a car going 60 miles per hour. He’s beaten the last competitor once, and as far he’s concerned he can do it again.
Pros:
Very hard shell, although not as tough as Hardcore Prawn’s armor
Extremely skilled luchador combining the best traits of technical and power fighters
Ghosts are probably unkillable and make good distractions and screens
Ghosts are very useful against Hardcore Prawn
Still has the Pangolins’ car and arsenal of weapons
Has already beaten Vighneshvara once
Cons:
Little to no protection on his chest
Lucha Libre is more of a spectator sport than a true martial art
Smallest and physically weakest fighter
Ghosts are practically useless against Vighneshvara
Is probably incapable of using the Pangolins’ gear himself
Has improved far less as a fighter than Vighneshvara
The only fighter with no secret weapon
The Rajah of Reaping, the Killer Kshatriya, the Slaughtering Sage of the Subcontinent; Vighneshvara the Lord of Obstacles!
http://i.imgur.com/15FDh.jpg
Hailing from India, this four armed pachyderm was once a humble steelworker and bar-room brawler; entered into Zoofights to capitalize on the success of the previous year’s champion, the fearsome Croctopus. Although he suffered a gouged-out eye and cracked skull in his first match, he was given a second chance in the losers bracket and has beaten a pair of perfectly coordinated flying moray eels, a satanic zombie rabbit, a terror bird with a chainsaw for an arm, a tag-team boxing duo of an anthropomorphic bison and a dolphin in a mech suit, an iguana the size of a small house, a horrifying frog who may have been the Slender Man, and a giant praying mantis with all the powers of the classes of the original Final Fantasy to get a second chance at the championship. He’s left his humble origins behind; becoming first an executive at the company that created him and a masterful warrior, then a divinely empowered sage with the skills of the greatest boxer of all time and his ruined eyes replaced with literal eyes of the tiger and a spiritually attuned third eye, and is now practically a demigod equipped with extremely dense and heavy boxing gloves, a nine foot long sword, and a sacred skull noose of Kali.
Pros:
Skilled street fighter and brawler
Extremely proficient with all manner of weapons
The greatest boxer of all time
Strength and endurance far surpassing even what his gigantic size would indicate
Surprisingly agile
Inheritor to three millennia of martial tradition
All of his chakras are open
Divine powers that could be anything from merely enhanced strength and endurance plus limited clairvoyance to being able to shoot chi blasts out of his central eye and making a bow and arrow out of sunlight to being able to drop mountains on people or make the sky rain fire
Cons:
Going up against two immensely well armored foes while not wearing any himself
His one loss was to Armour Dio
Nobody from the loser’s league has ever been champion
Will be facing much steeper resistance before the match; the other two have to fight each other for the chance to reach him while he has to fight a PCP fueled drunken snapping turtle the size of a skyscraper before he can fight them. However, he has prepared a secret weapon (That he will win is a certainty, that he will get out of it unscathed is not).
Place your votes now and become a part of Zoofights history!