I am losing passion for the things I once loved. Is this growing up?

[Pika...]

I am bored stiff, yet I have little interest in what I used to take up my time with which is all available right now. This got me thinking, is this maturing? Is this growing up?

I get little entertainment from almost any kind of television now. I don't touch my video game systems. I have not seen a cartoon show or anime in about a year. Warhammer 40K is losing it's appeal except for the artsie parts, and I am even detaching from my D&D group. And the list goes on.

One thing I do still enjoy is magic the gathering, but time has not allowed me to game in over a month.

My main concerns are now work, bills, and a girl I hope to win the affections of. These pretty much take up my waking hours.

I suddenly am caring more about politics, and chose to finally sign up to vote.

Suddenly audio books are played off my DS Lite more than games.

I guess I am twenty-five now. Is it time to put my life-long passions to rest? Is this what being a grown up requires?

Has anyone else hit this fork in the road in their lives?

So much thought coming out of a moment of boredom....lol.

[Haruki-kun]

I did, too. Slightly. It's not that I find less interest in those things. It's what you said:


My main concerns are now work, bills, and a girl I hope to win the affections of. These pretty much take up my waking hours.

You have other, bigger concerns now. Work, bills, a relationship... these are all bigger. If they all solved themselves, you'd probably find time for all those things again.

It is growing up, but it's not that you grow out of those things, it's just that newer things show up and start taking up more of your time.

[arguskos]

It certainly seems that, in order to fulfill the desires and demands of society, we are forced to surrender those things we love. Work and school eat so much of my time that I cannot really do the things I want, simply because of the things I must do. :smallsigh:

Certainly seems to be a part of growing up. It also is bull****, IMO.

[Lady Moreta]

But they do come back, those things you had a passion for when you were younger. Haruki is right, as you grow up, different things become priorities... it doesn't mean that you no longer care about the things you loved when younger, just that other things have taken over as the first priority (not the only priority). As time goes on, you'll get adjusted to things like bills, work and relationships and your enjoyment of the other little things will come back.

I had something similar happen to me, though for me it happened a bit earlier when I was 23/24 - I finished uni, moved to Australia and got a job. It was my first time being completely in the 'real world' with a 'real' job and it was very odd. Suddenly I was worrying about having to pay my rent and buy groceries and getting to work on time and spending time with my then-boyfriend (the reason I moved to Australia in the firstplace and is now my husband)... very little time was left for anything that in the past I had considered fun. And for a while, I didn't have the time or energy for anything else. Gradually though, you get settled into a rhythm and routine and the fun things come back to you. You suddenly remember how much you enjoyed something and you sit down to do it again and then you realise that you never lost the passion, it just got sidelined briefly while you settled into the routine of being an 'adult' and living life in the 'real world'.

I'm 28 now, and I'll have been married four years come this January. And yet sometimes I am a bigger kid now than I was five years ago when I'd first moved over here and everything was big and new and scary and I was fighting just to stay afloat.

It gets better :smallsmile:

[Pika...]

Your words seem to have truth to them Haruki-kun.

I wonder if I will miss the way things were. :smallconfused:



edit:

I hope you are right Lady Moreta. :smallsmile:

[Weezer]

If you're so bored, and none of your old pursuits are satisfying you, try something new! Sign up for martial arts lessons, go hiking, write some poetry, try your hand at photography, dig into some philosophy, anything at all. Just keep trying things until you find something new that sparks your interest and fights off your boredom. Over your life your interests will change, you're constantly changing as a person so it makes sense that what you want to do will change as well. Don't just go "oh I'm old now, I can't do anything interesting anymore", find those things that light up your day. Search and search and search for those things that motivate you, those things in life that truly make you excited.

You have experienced such a small slice of the potential range of experiences that you shouldn't give up on finding something that really grabs your interest (this isn't a poke at your age or you being sheltered, it's simply that the world is so wide that it's impossible for anyone to experience everything it has to offer).

So yes, maybe having changing interests is a sign of "growing up" but it's not something to be lamented, it just means you have the whole gamut of new things to explore.

[Starwulf]

I did, too. Slightly. It's not that I find less interest in those things. It's what you said:



You have other, bigger concerns now. Work, bills, a relationship... these are all bigger. If they all solved themselves, you'd probably find time for all those things again.

It is growing up, but it's not that you grow out of those things, it's just that newer things show up and start taking up more of your time.


It certainly seems that, in order to fulfill the desires and demands of society, we are forced to surrender those things we love. Work and school eat so much of my time that I cannot really do the things I want, simply because of the things I must do. :smallsigh:

Certainly seems to be a part of growing up. It also is bull****, IMO.

I'll take the odd-man out position here, and say that, if anything, being an adult with responsibilities, kids, marriage, all of that, has kindled my passion for my favorite things even more. I Love gaming every bit as much as I did as a child, even moreso now, since I can get more understanding and satisfaction out of intricate storylines. I love to read just as much, I enjoy chilling and spending time with my friends, all of that stuff. If anything, my interest in politics has declined as I got older, as I realize the futility in worrying about things out of my control, and the fact that I, as one person, am unlikely to make a large difference, and even with thousands or tens of thousands of people sharing my beliefs, things aren't likely to change anytime soon.

Basically, I'm trying to take enjoyment out of the things that I have control over, and not stress/worry over the things that I don't have any control over. No sense in going to an early grave due to stress-related illnesses.

[Lady Moreta]

I hope you are right Lady Moreta. :smallsmile:

With age comes experience :smalltongue: and I realise I'm not that much older than you, but it still counts :smallsmile: I found the best way wasn't to push things. Growing up and becoming an adult does mean that there are responsibilities that you didn't have to worry about in earlier years. It doesn't mean that you won't ever get to have fun or be a little kid about things ever again though. I have found that it simply means I have to be more organised and plan to do the things I enjoy - or just find ways to enjoy them during the rest of 'life'. For instance, when I was working, I always had a book in my bag and when I went on my lunch break, I'd take it with me and read. Sometimes I took a notebook and pen and wrote instead.

Weezer also has a good point, sometimes we simply grow out of things. If the things you used to love aren't really grabbing your attention any more, try something new :smallsmile:

[Feytalist]

Yeah, it happens. Growing up isn't the most fun experience ever, and it takes some time getting used to the extra responsibilities and time management issues and whatnot. But once you're over that first bump (and I'm barely there myself, being also 25ish) you get to a point where you can focus on your own interests again. In my case, I am used to a lot of free time just for myself, and I had to adjust to having to balance work, chores, girlfriend (not that it wasn't worth it, heh :smallwink:).

So yeah, there does come a time when you have to weigh your interests by importance, and you have to distance yourself from some of them. So you go "okay, I can play this game, but that will take 2 hours from my time at least. Or I can make supper and then read a bit. Or I can watch one episode of this show and then fall asleep, cause I'm tired as all hell".

But you get over it. You learn to compromise. And then one day you realise that some of your hobbies have fallen by the wayside, but some have stuck. And that's good too :smallsmile:

[factotum]

I'm 41 and I still play computer games when I can. The main issue is time management--it's something you have to learn. Certainly it seems odd to me that you're managing to take up all your waking hours with the three things you mentioned--surely you're not spending all your time outside work serenading your sweetheart, or something like that?

In any case, you always need to have some "me" time, no matter how rushed you are the rest of the time.

[Lady Moreta]

--surely you're not spending all your time outside work serenading your sweetheart, or something like that?

Oh, it's definitely possible. When I was working, my job, combined with travel to and from work took up 12 hours of my day. By the time I got home, I was usually too tired to do anything else and it meant that Saturday ended up being the one day a week I had to do everything else in (mostly because shops aren't open here on Sundays). It's one of the main reasons I quit the job.

[Asta Kask]

Don't worry. You will find your way back to them in time.


"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

C.S. Lewis

[The Succubus]

I was hoping someone would quote that, Asta.

Things turn in circles, my electric chum. It's easy to become jaded if you do something for too long. You may find that by trying a different activity for a while, it might give you a new energy for something you did before. For example, playing a ranger in MMOs and RPGs gave me the incentive to try it out in real life and seeing the Matrix and Crouching Tiger a few years ago got me to find out about my local martial arts club. I enjoyed doing both a lot however, when my time got too stretched, I scaled back on one of them and went back to MMOs and it was fun trying to put what I learned into my RPG games. :smallsmile:

[Asta Kask]

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Dave Barry

[H Birchgrove]

I did "grow out of" playing with LEGO (and other toys), because I no longer could imagine adventures for the LEGO mini-figures. :smallfrown:

[Cespenar]

Meh. Growing up is a fallacy. An overrated fallacy no less.

[thubby]

as mentioned, priorities and interests are different things.
but what i've found is that tastes do change, but rarely on a grand scale.

for example, I've always been a fan of anime. but as I've grown older, the only shonen i still keep track of are ones that have been there since i was younger.

[Knaight]

Interests change. I've found that hobbies fade some when doing fulfilling work (in my case, that means teaching for the time being), and are gradually supplanted by relationships* in many ways. Maybe it is growing up. Maybe it is just change. In all honesty, I don't particularly care - as long as I retain some attachment to the world, and don't just draw away it isn't a cause for concern.

*That doesn't necessarily mean romance. Relationships with friends are very much relationships.

[Asta Kask]

Times change
Interests change
One day you will change too
But one thing, I know
Will never change
Fear about creeping age

[Bhu]

It's stress. Stress can cause depression which will burn you out and make all the things you enjoy seem hollow. Reduce stress and perhaps the joy shall return.

[Knaight]

It's stress. Stress can cause depression which will burn you out and make all the things you enjoy seem hollow. Reduce stress and perhaps the joy shall return.

I doubt it. Stress is likely there, but depression doesn't exactly provoke new actions, it provokes a retreat from the world. That wasn't described.

[Scarlet Knight]

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

You appear to be changing interests as opposed to withdrawing from joy ( which would point to depression).

Work, bills, the winning of a love...this is normal as you become a responsible adult, and a contributing member of society; as opposed to being a dependent.

Still putting aside old things for new doesn't mean you can't return to them later. What parent doesn't enjoy hearing his kids play his music or teaching them an old hobby?

[Dr.Epic]

Is this Stan Marsh? Does everything look/sound like...well...like...something I can't mention on the forum

Anyway, you can't be that grown up: you still visit a forum dedicated to a webcomic about stick figures and D&D.

[Traab]

When I hit my early to mid teens I went through something similar. Suddenly I no longer enjoyed reading my older books, or watching the same shows, (I mourned the loss of interest in Saturday morning cartoons.) I went through a period where nothing seemed to grab my attention. It took awhile, but eventually I found new stuff in related fields. For example, while I had lost interest in the young adult section of fantasy novels, the ones meant for an older crowd were suddenly a lot more interesting. I still played games on my computer but the types of games I chose were different. Ive basically stopped watching tv in the last couple of years, but back then my tastes changed a bit as well. The only cartoons I watch are anime, and im more interested in the less silly type shows.

[dps]

I am bored stiff, yet I have little interest in what I used to take up my time with which is all available right now. This got me thinking, is this maturing? Is this growing up?

I get little entertainment from almost any kind of television now. I don't touch my video game systems. I have not seen a cartoon show or anime in about a year. Warhammer 40K is losing it's appeal except for the artsie parts, and I am even detaching from my D&D group. And the list goes on.

One thing I do still enjoy is magic the gathering, but time has not allowed me to game in over a month.

That ain't growing up, that's becoming a boring nebbish.


My main concerns are now work, bills, and a girl I hope to win the affections of. These pretty much take up my waking hours.

I suddenly am caring more about politics, and chose to finally sign up to vote.

Work and bills suck, but are necessary evils. Caring about politics is a good thing, and so is chasing girls (though catching them can be better). So maybe there's hope for you yet.


Suddenly audio books are played off my DS Lite more than games.

I guess I am twenty-five now. Is it time to put my life-long passions to rest? Is this what being a grown up requires?

Nope. See above.


Has anyone else hit this fork in the road in their lives?

So much thought coming out of a moment of boredom....lol.

Not me. I'm 49, BTW.