Advice Needed To Console Overreacting Brother

[Archpaladin Zousha]

My brother has recently become incensed about something that cannot be discussed on these forums, and I was wondering if I could get some advice on how to show him that he's overreacting via PM. Thank you. :smallsmile:

[PersonMan]

What I generally do when someone(often my brother, but he's probably quite a bit younger than yours) is angry is communicate that I would be angry in their situation too, perhaps let them vent and then go into a sort of 'the past is past, why ruin your day/week by being pissed off about it all the time?'

Unfortunately, it's tough to give less vague tips, as the exact cause of his anger can't be mentioned.

As for how to show him he's overreacting...I'm not sure. Sometimes, if one's angry, it can only make it worse to be told you're overreacting. Still, I'd go for the '[problem] isn't worth ruining your day/week by being angry about it for so long'. If you can, perhaps add 'come on, let's do [activity]'. I've found that doing something is a good way to help someone shake off anger, especially if it's something they enjoy and requires concentration.

[Archpaladin Zousha]

It isn't the past he's upset about, but the future. He thinks the Internet's going to be destroyed. And the Internet is his main hobby, so doing something he enjoys would likely just make him more worried.

[Dr.Epic]

It isn't the past he's upset about, but the future. He thinks the Internet's going to be destroyed. And the Internet is his main hobby, so doing something he enjoys would likely just make him more worried.

Okay...

1. You can't destroy the internet without basically destroying society and if it does get destroyed you'll have far bigger things to worry about what with zombie hordes.

2. If the internet is the kid's biggest hobby, tell him to get outside and explore something new. I don't want to sound harsh, but that's kind of pathetic and lazy of him.

Hope that helps.

[Caesar]

It isn't the past he's upset about, but the future. He thinks the Internet's going to be destroyed. And the Internet is his main hobby, so doing something he enjoys would likely just make him more worried.

Without going into detail, because we arent allowed to talk openly here about politics (this board seriously needs a "grownups section"), he has every reason to be concerned. "SOPA" should lead you to the correct discussion. It is just one of many steps being taken to radically change and control the free net.

Maybe it is you who is under-reacting? Just sayin...

[Wabbajack]

If this is about what I think it is tell him:

1. That servers of internet sites can always be hosted outside your country
and
2. What a proxy is.

That should deal with the problem if the event really happens.

[AtlanteanTroll]

It isn't the past he's upset about, but the future. He thinks the Internet's going to be destroyed. And the Internet is his main hobby, so doing something he enjoys would likely just make him more worried.

Tell him he only needs to worry about sites where pirating takes place. It's not like he should be visiting those anyway. In other words, guilt trip him.

[Archpaladin Zousha]

Without going into detail, because we arent allowed to talk openly here about politics (this board seriously needs a "grownups section"), he has every reason to be concerned. "SOPA" should lead you to the correct discussion. It is just one of many steps being taken to radically change and control the free net.

Maybe it is you who is under-reacting? Just sayin...
Saying that the Internet is going to be completely shut down, the government hates us and that the only solution is a Communist revolution against Hollywood are NOT reasonable responses to said issue, though. I know about the issue at hand, and I am concerned about it, but there's a difference between concern and panic, and my brother is panicking because he thinks ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com is going to be shut down in the very near future.

This whole argument got started because That Guy With The Glasses posted a video to raise awareness for the issue.

[Worira]

Tell him he only needs to worry about sites where pirating takes place. It's not like he should be visiting those anyway. In other words, guilt trip him.

This is, mind you, very much incorrect.

[Archpaladin Zousha]

Besides, like I said, he's only concerned about the fate of this particular website (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/).

[llamamushroom]

I'm unfamiliar with the exact circumstances you're dealing with, but, as Wabbajack said, proxies do exist, as do vpns (virtual private networks). Both are, in and of themselves, perfectly legal - it's how I've been accessing websites that are blocked in China (such as facebook and youtube).

I agree with trying to tell him not to let it ruin his day, and with helping him try to find an additional hobby - if he doesn't already, a musical instrument, perhaps?

[Archpaladin Zousha]

He plays guitar already, though you've got to prod him to get him to practice. Otherwise, he'll just sit at his computer and either watch ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com or headbang to his extensive collection of various genres of metal music.

[AtlanteanTroll]

This is, mind you, very much incorrect.

Not according to what I have read. And I've read articles coming from both sides.

[Whiffet]

Due to the politics ban, I can't say anything specifically about the issue your brother is worrying about. I can give some broad advice, though; don't worry about the things you can't change, especially if they haven't even happened yet. Take action if you can, even if that action is just as small as signing a petition, but don't worry about what's out of your control. Just say, "I've done everything I can" and go on with your life. Otherwise you'll just stress yourself and be unable to function. Life rarely follows through with your worst fears, so learn to ignore them.

I don't know how much your brother will listen if you tell him this, but hopefully it will help a little.

[Fiery Diamond]

After reading the Wikipedia article on the subject in growing horror, I'm not at all sure your brother is overreacting. I'm not sure he's entirely wrong about his proposed response, either. That's all I will say.

[Archpaladin Zousha]

Due to the politics ban, I can't say anything specifically about the issue your brother is worrying about. I can give some broad advice, though; don't worry about the things you can't change, especially if they haven't even happened yet. Take action if you can, even if that action is just as small as signing a petition, but don't worry about what's out of your control. Just say, "I've done everything I can" and go on with your life. Otherwise you'll just stress yourself and be unable to function. Life rarely follows through with your worst fears, so learn to ignore them.

I don't know how much your brother will listen if you tell him this, but hopefully it will help a little.
That was exactly the advice I gave to him when he first brought this up. He didn't listen. He didn't even sign a petition like I did and suggested he do. :smallsigh:

[pendell]

The best advice I can give is that 'consolation' is an emotional thing. It isn't reasonable.

You can't talk an overreacting person out of overreaction by arguing with them. So there really are two things I know that might work:

1) Be there for them and offer emotional support. They'll eventually come down from their tizzy, and they'll be grateful you were there for them.

2) Humor. Nothing punctures self-importance and makes an overwhelmingly scary world less scary except humor. If you can tell a joke that allows him to see the situation as ridiculous, he'll have a good laugh and the tension will break.

Of course, that second approach requires a great deal of care and you have to know your audience REALLY well. If your brother thinks you're making fun of HIM, or making sport of something very serious, he'll blow up into fifteen kinds of angry. So there's some risk involved. But sometimes the ability to see absurdity and ridiculousness and make fun of it can let all the anger and stress out.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[LibraryOgre]

The Mod Wonder: For reference, talking about legislation is an inherently political topic.