Law devotion one-liners [Archive] - Giant in the Playground Forums

LansXero

2011-11-28, 11:53 AM

The plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time.
There is no such a thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.
Objection!

The only 3.5 D&D ability that makes me want to shout is whirling frenzy. It has such a pleasant cadence: WHIRL-ing FREN-zee! Just saying.

Ive always been partial to metamagic and ToB Maneuvers though...
Maximized... EMPOWERED... ORB. Of. FIREEEEEE
Take this! MITHRIL TORNADO!
Then again, probably been playing too much MvC 3 :P

Keld Denar

2011-11-28, 11:55 AM

You have been judged before the eyes of St Cuthbert, and have been found wanting. Make peace with your maker.

Also, I think it would be Profession: Barrister. It's a more historical title. Just for a little flair.

CTrees

2011-11-28, 12:07 PM

Check out Judge Dredd. Either the (terrible) movie or the comics. As an ostensible example of extreme LN-ness, and a comic book hero, there's a fair amount from which to crib. Alternatively, there's the much more fun Equilibrium.

Yora

2011-11-28, 12:08 PM

"Ah am the laaaaaaaaawww!!!!"

Shadowleaf

2011-11-28, 12:14 PM

"Stop right there criminal scum!"
"Stop! You have violated the law!"

Ormur

2011-11-28, 12:36 PM

Those are good, I'm not very inspired right now but I'll come up with something this evening.

I should mention that I'm not playing in English so word play might not translate. That's also the reason I didn't use barrister or solicitor, it's considerably less bad-ass than prosecutor in my native tongue (as well as not actually being older, if I'd go for the historical title that would simply be lawyer).

RndmNumGen

2011-11-28, 01:00 PM

Less law-based and more honor-based, but:

"Your reputation is what others know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself."
"The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught."
"An honor is not diminished for being shared."
"Law is order in liberty, and without order liberty is social chaos."

MesiDoomstalker

2011-11-28, 01:23 PM

"Respect my Authoritah!"

Sorry, couldn't resist. :smallbiggrin: Don't kill me!

NNescio

2011-11-28, 02:06 PM

I'm playing a LN cleric of a highly lawful deity in a campaign and I'm suddenly gripped with a longing for shouting appropriate one-liners when I turn on my Law devotion. It's a bonus if they involve legalese since I took profession: prosecutor for the hell of it.

Those are good, I'm not very inspired right now but I'll come up with something this evening.

I should mention that I'm not playing in English so word play might not translate. That's also the reason I didn't use barrister or solicitor, it's considerably less bad-ass than prosecutor in my native tongue (as well as not actually being older, if I'd go for the historical title that would simply be lawyer).

Try Latin?

Habeas corpus. (You may have the body.)

darksolitaire

2011-11-28, 02:29 PM

"You disrespect the law, you disrespect me."

"The sentence, has been served."

"Cease and repent!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD4hD9CuBcM)

"Show me what passes for fury among your misbegotten kind!"

TheGeckoKing

2011-11-28, 02:31 PM

''Right to live - REVOKED.''

JaronK

2011-11-28, 03:02 PM

Yell "FREEZE!" and then hit them with cold based attack spells.

But "I'll be the judge of that" is always a good one.

JaronK

missmvicious

2011-11-28, 03:14 PM

First of all: get a MW Cold Iron bracelet with the inscription: What would Judge Dredd Do?

Then load up your one-liner minigun:

"Emotions... there ought to be a law against them."
"I AM the law!"
"The law doesn't... make mistakes."
"Automatic 5 year sentence. How do you plead? Guilty? I KNEW you'd say that."
"[I] put order to chaos."
"Sentence: Death. Court adjourned."

CTrees

2011-11-28, 03:18 PM

"You just got served." Particularly funny after passing off a subpeona, complaint, cease-and-desist letter, etc. which you've littered with exploding runes/sepia snake sigils.

(muttered up to your god) "witness is being uncooperative - permission to treat as hostile?"

deuxhero

2011-11-28, 03:24 PM

Final Fantasy Tactics's ability quotes (http://www.angelfire.com/pe/fnlfntsy7/fftactics/fftspellquotes.txt) and Baten Kaitos's finishers (http://darnit-monosoft.livejournal.com/7472.html) are great sources of inspiration.

"I am law, dispeller of chaos! *Attack name*!" or "I am law! Hear my voice! *Attack name*!" both are good ones.

hamishspence

2011-11-28, 03:25 PM

You have been judged before the eyes of St Cuthbert, and have been found wanting. Make peace with your maker.

A variant on this, from A Knight's Tale:

"You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been found wanting."

navar100

2011-11-28, 07:03 PM

"Stop in the name of the Law!"
"Thou shalt not get away with that!"
"You are ordered to surrender your life. Obey!"

Ormur

2011-11-28, 07:05 PM

Plenty of material here, now for my own attempts:

"In my expert legal opinion, this (smack enemy) constitutes self-defence."

"I'm judge, jury and now executioner!"

"I will teach you to respect the law miscreant!"

"Force majeure!"

If veering into questionable territory: "No jury would convict me for ridding the world of you."

You are right latin is an excellent solution of the translation problem, I can call it draconic, which my character happens to know.

"Volenti non fit injuria" seems fitting (to a willing person, no injury is done).

or even "salus populi est suprema lex" (the welfare of the people is to be the highest law) if I'm feeling particularly generous.

GoatBoy

2011-11-28, 07:28 PM

"Law for the law god!" (Not as effective as "good for the good god!" but nothing really is.)

Upon hitting with hammer/whatever weapon: "Allow me to present... exhibit A!!!"

"The defence rests... in peace." Then click here. (http://mirrors.rit.edu/instantCSI/)

CTrees

2011-11-28, 07:46 PM

"Law for the law god!" (Not as effective as "good for the good god!" but nothing really is.)

"Blood for the blood god!" comes to mind. But then, I'm a fan of Warhammer/40K.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On topic,

"Rights!?! Rights are for the innocent!"

"This is where you plead, 'no contest.'"

Ravens_cry

2011-11-28, 07:49 PM

You are under arrest. Any attempts to flee will be considered evidence of guilt and acted upon accordingly.
Resistance is futile.

Urpriest

2011-11-28, 08:31 PM

"I find you in contempt...of me!"

Zale

2011-11-28, 08:34 PM

In the name of <cleric's god> I DECLARE YOU GUILTY!

You have the right to scream for mercy, you have the right to surrender arms, anything you cast or wield will be used against you in the court of law.

Zaq

2011-11-28, 09:56 PM

OBJECTION! Can't believe it took this long for someone to say that.

Doughnut Master

2011-11-28, 11:26 PM

Flay someone alive "Here's your appeal!"

You have the right to remain Silence

If you face undead, tell the party, "Stand back! I'm an a-turn-ey!"

Hiro Protagonest

2011-11-28, 11:29 PM

<_<

>_>

In the name of the moon, I punish you!

jaybird

2011-11-28, 11:29 PM

Some question my right to destroy. Those who understand realize that I have no right to let you live!

BIGMamaSloth

2011-11-28, 11:43 PM

I personally would go with

"you fought the law, and the law won." :smalltongue:

May not work in a different language if they don't know the song.

Doughnut Master

2011-11-28, 11:46 PM

You're in double jeopardy now. (Warning, you'll probably get scolded by people who actually do know law.)

Tvtyrant

2011-11-29, 12:27 AM

Mercy to the guilty is treason to the innocent! (I hate that series, but it works here).

Doughnut Master

2011-11-29, 01:14 AM

Burn the Heretic! Kill the Mutant! Purge the Unclean!

darksolitaire

2011-11-29, 04:40 AM

Lots of 40k fans in this thread. Love the universe, even after I stopped playing the minis with the advent of 5th edition.

Morph Bark

2011-11-29, 05:23 AM

In a Final Fantasy d6 campaign I've played a Black Mage/Monk who wielded a book as his weapon. He was a lawyer and his book was the book of law. This is a bunch of things he'd say while smacking things with his book:

"Eat law!"
"In the name of the law, you shall be smitten!"
"I judge you unworthy of life!"
"I judge you guilty of [something appropriate]."
"Where good men fall, the law shall remain as a shield against evil!"
"Take your chaos to your god in death!"
"Make peace with your god, for he shall soon judge you as I have!"
"Imprint this well, for this is the law that you have broken!"
"Once I am done with you, you can read the law from your forehead... in Hell!"

supermonkeyjoe

2011-11-29, 05:40 AM

I don't suppose your character is a warforged?

"Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law."

"dead of alive you are coming with me"

"your move, creep"

"come quietly or there will be... trouble"

*chuck a guy through a window* "Thank you for your co-operation"

PetterTomBos

2011-11-29, 05:59 AM

You will be EXTERMINATED!

Cespenar

2011-11-29, 06:01 AM

"ALL HAIL [DEITY NAME]!" in the hammiest voice possible.

sonofzeal

2011-11-29, 06:30 AM

<_<

>_>

In the name of the moon, I punish you!
I had a Moon-Warded Ranger who used that line once, halfway through a boss fight, after the enemy had stolen the Orb of the Moon.

Sgt. Cookie

2011-11-29, 06:41 AM

"Honour, duty, law."

"Absolution is for the living."

"To be forgiven, you must first repent."

"In the dark of chaos, I am law's shining light!"

Kaeso

2011-11-29, 07:46 AM

OBJECTION! Can't believe it took this long for someone to say that.

*stabs you in the face* Overruled:smallamused:

CTrees

2011-11-29, 08:34 AM

Point of interest - you're going for prosecutor, and in English (in what language are you playing?) is quite interesting. Initially, when the court systems were weak, the term literally meant a person no longer was under the protection of the law. They were legal to be killed by anyone who cared to, as would be a dangerous wolf or similar, and illegal to give food, shelter, aid, etc. to. Rounding up people and bringing them to court, for full trial, was impractical, to say the least, so outlawry removed that burden. I suspect your language has something similar, as homo sacer was the Roman form (it was common across different cultures, to say the least, as it was a practical solution to a nasty problem). Calling someone a felon and acting accordingly is also extremely harsh, in English, in a feudal society (the original English distinction was a felony was a crime for which lands, property, and life could be revoked).

Unfortunately, nearly all of my more detailed knowledge of law stems from current US law or English common law (with a little maritime sprinkled in), so some of my suggestions may not help (for instance, it still baffles me that in some very Western countries, like Germany, the prosecution in a criminal case can appeal a not guilty verdict based on a question of law, and obtain a new trial - the US version of double jeopardy is not a universal concept in the modern world!)

Ormur

2011-11-29, 09:53 AM

I didn't quite understand the connection you make between a prosecutor and an outlaw. However the concept of an outlaw is particularly interesting in light of my native language since it's Icelandic. In the times of the Vikings the commonwealth of Iceland's only legal institutions were a combination of courts and a parliament with no executive power. Punishments were either payment in kind or banishment, for a limited period or indefinite, because there was no bailiff. In the Icelandic Sagas the ramifications of this are a major theme.

The only real office of the time was that of a lawspeaker, the one that memorized the law before the advent of writing. The office lasted until 18th century under the kingdoms of Norway and Denmark but they parliament, Althingi, didn't really have any legislative powers for most of the time. In Icelandic the common name for a lawyer is derived from lawspeaker.

The legal profession and terms like barrister, prosecutor and jurist only crop up in texts with Danish public officials in the 17th century and later.

In the campaign I'm playing the situation if probably closer to that of medieval common law jurisdictions. The Church my character is a part of is that of the half-dragon king that invented the legal profession and ascended to godhood. The clerics, including my character, assist in holding trials and bringing justice to outlaws in the rural areas. Therefore I think that profession: prosecutor is an appropriate pick. Profession: law might be more accurate in terms of what I use the check for but this just sounds better.

LansXero

2011-11-29, 11:01 AM

Soon the defense will rest... her fist upon your face!

Not really fitting, but that she-hulk line cracks me up :P

JoeYounger

2011-11-29, 11:29 AM

I shall spread the buttery justice of St. Cuthbert over the toast of your inequity!

The succulent jam of the law shall sweeten the sougherdough of your evil ways!

The creamer of light will dull the bitterness of your evil unholy coffee taste!

The spatula of order shall scramble the eggs of your maleficence!

CTrees

2011-11-29, 11:41 AM

I didn't quite understand the connection you make between a prosecutor and an outlaw.

Oh, just something else you could throw out. I couldn't think of anything catchy, off the cuff, but since you're going for prosecutor, yelling at others that they are outlaws or felons as part of your justification for killing them rather works, given the setting.

Snowbluff

2011-11-29, 12:12 PM

"Ah am the laaaaaaaaawww!!!!"

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaw!"

MesiDoomstalker

2011-11-29, 12:25 PM

The Reverend

2011-11-29, 04:12 PM

Say nothing. the death of another is failure in your ability to bring the situation to a resolution by nonviolent means. To relish in putting down a mad dog is too close to the satisfaction and thrill felt by murderers you stand against. Let only the cold satisfaction of the law kept be your comfort.

Venetian Mask

2011-11-29, 04:22 PM

Zale

2011-11-29, 04:51 PM

"Do you have any final confessions?"

Or for the old cliche..

"I am the Law. Judge, Jury, Executioner."

Hiro Protagonest

2011-11-29, 04:54 PM

The Gamers II?

...No? :smallconfused:

HalfDragonCube

2011-11-29, 05:01 PM

"Stop right there criminal scum!"
"Stop! You have violated the law!"

Then they would get handed three options:
'Go to jail'
'Resist arrest'
'Pay fine'

Just like Oblivion. Of course, any of them that have played Oblivion would run into the Mage's Guild, watch the fireworks, and sell the corpses.

JoeYounger

2011-11-29, 05:17 PM

...No? :smallconfused:

You should check it out.

Gamers: Dorkness Rising.

It's an awesome movie, really captured the spirit of dnd.

Hiro Protagonest

2011-11-29, 05:30 PM

You should check it out.

Gamers: Dorkness Rising.

It's an awesome movie, really captured the spirit of dnd.

*facepalm*

Would I say that if I HADN'T watched it!?

The only food mention I remember is the waffles.

daemonaetea

2011-11-29, 07:59 PM

Smacked in the name of God, Ye Guilty.

(Really works better if you stuck closer to the original, but that only works if you're casting a spell.)

(Yes, this is really pathetic.)

Eldariel

2011-11-29, 08:11 PM

"You break the law, the law will break you."

JoeYounger

2011-11-29, 09:21 PM

*facepalm*

Would I say that if I HADN'T watched it!?

The only food mention I remember is the waffles.

These lines were a cut scene spoof from after the credits :P Sir Osric, the lawful stupid pally was shouting them at the "ninja zombie" outside of the tavern when the bard lied to him and said there was a badguy out there so they could torture the demon.

ericgrau

2011-11-30, 03:29 AM

Objection!

OBJECTION!
Objection! (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=5395512)

Allanimal

2011-11-30, 06:33 AM

Garwain

2011-11-30, 06:54 AM

There are a number of favored oaths listed in Complete Champion. For St-Cuthbert (who likes to brake lawbreaker faces) this would be:

Favored Oaths: Followers of St. Cuthbert often exclaim "Lawbreaker!" or "By the cudgel!" in the heat of battle. "His justice be done" is a phrase often delivered in conjunction with a smite attack.
Maybe there is more inspiration to be found from the other churches, I didn't check them all.