Campaign Log: Chaos Clockwork

[lorddrake]

I'm going to put here the adventures of the crazy, crazy campaign I'm DMing.

Here are the characters (I'll keep it updated)

PCs:

Liir Tropp

A sprite who comes from Sckharshantallas, a realm with the most tyrannical leader: Sckhar. A red dragon.
This dictator is so paranoid and territorialistic that he encourages people from his kingdom to become dragon hunters. So the only dragon allowed to live in Sckharshantallas is Sckhar himself.
This made this little fellow, Liir, such a bloodthirsty hunter of dragons. Even for his size.
He plans to get a lot of money and marry a pretty fairy girl - after slaughtering a lot of dragons.

(PLAYER ASKED ME TO ADD THIS)

He is pretty and his fellow gay (Druitt) hit on him all the time.

Build:
Sprite rogue 7
Chaotic neutral
STR 8
DEX 20
CON 13
INT 18
WIS 10
CHA 16

Druitt

Mysterious elf. Nobody knows where is he from. He has white hair and red eyes. And pretty colors all over!
This gay elf is one descendent of a dracolich. He has the "blood" of teh undead and dragons flowing throgh his body. And tries to save princesses, swash bucklers and hit on boys.

Build:
Elf swashbuckler 3/bard 4
Chaotic Neutral
STR 15
DEX 18
CON 12
INT 12
WIS 11
CHA 19

Alyha

Druid of the nature goddess Allihanna. She wants to travel the world and meet all kinds of exotic animals. Very respectful of nature and protective of animals.

Build:
Centaur Druid 6
Neutral Good
STR 17
DEX 13
CON 13
INT 11
WIS 17
CHA 15

Learinah Holimion

Paladin of Thyatis, the mysterious god of ressurection and prophecy. Wants to discover her place in the designs of her god. Do not act as a lawful good, taking matters in a ruthless angle sometimes.

Build:
Half-elf Paladin 7
Lawful Good
STR 20
DEX 10
CON 14
INT 10
WIS 14
CHA 14


(THE REST OF CHARACTERS ARE COMING. TAKE SHELTER)

NPCs:

Thorn

Mysterious paladin of Nimb, the god of chaos and insanity. Likes to yell the names of his powers and is very confusing almost all the time. Is bold.

Dyke

Sister of Thorn. Cleric of Nimb. Kill things using her spiked chains and flail. Very deadly chick. She does not speak much and does not show her face (hiding it behind a mask).

Krummsh, the kobold matron

She is a sorcerer who is the leader of the kobolds of the nortern part of the Kingdom. The only thing she wanted is to get a little land to make the kobold official kingdom. Now she only lives for revenge!

Dori

The carpenter master on Drulliha, the pirate ship of the group. Can navigate as well.

Gori

Dumb and strong brother of Dori. Works on the ship as well.

Rutie

Sailor and navigator. Wears a hat all the time.

Udon

Ship's cook. He is a lost prince of the underdark drow lost in another plane. He stole a skelleton dog and now it is his pet.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Sprite, centaur and swashbuckler used are not equal to published material. Those are variant from this special setting.

(On the following posts I'll put the story that happened so far)

[lorddrake]

Druitt and Liir arrived on this town where they discover that a princess of a small kingdom was captured. They want as ransom a little piece of land.

A cleric (Dyke) of the insanity god, Nimb, and a guy (Thorn) who says he is a paladin of Nimb (even though Nimb has NO paladins) have taken this mission but wanted companions to finish this quest easily. Since Druitt would love to be part of a rescue the damsel mission and Liir liked the money, they decided to embark on this seemingly clichèd quest.

On their way to the tower she is held they find a group of kobolds ready to attack in the name of Krummsh, whoever it would be. They bluff, saying they are being expected by Krummsh. With suspicion at first the kobolds ask who they are, and eventually they are "recognized" as priests coming for a special ritual for Krummsh.

Arriving on the Kobold little tower and caves they try to pretend they are kobolds disguised as humans (and elf). They discover that the priests are being expected to perform a "ritual of fertility"... well... on Krummsh, an obese ugly(er) female Kobold.

She says she wants the lands (that would be paid as ransom) to make the kobold kingdom, where kobolds wouldn't be attacked on sight by adventurers.

Druitt devises a cunning plan to get the princess who was being held in a little cage over the "throne" room. He says he will start the "ritual" placing Krummsh and her throne on the center of the room. He runs, jumps on Krummsh's belly and catches the cage that immediately falls over Krummsh and freeing a somewhat unconscious princess.

They flee with all kobolds armed following them. By accident they burn the kobold lair to the ground. And all kobolds of the land will hate those adventurers forever!

[lorddrake]

The group receive the prize for freeing the princess. Thorn and Dyke than reveal that they are on a sacred mission for their god and all mystery behind their past.

Thorn and Dyke are not from Arton (that plane and Kingdom). They are from a far away land of magic known as Netherlands. They got a map for this quest on the famous temple of Bar in Netherlands (I'll post pictures eventually).

Nimb has an important... thing... on a tower in the middle of the worst and most dangerous desert of Arton. It must be rescued. And Thorn and Dyke invite Druitt and Liir to help with some promise of reward.

Since they have absolutely nothing else to do other than follow some unnamed MucGuffin around, they accept.

On the desert they find a lost endangered Centaur druid. A pretty lady by the name of Allyha. As they rescue this druid she offers to help them.

They find the last town. A place with a language no hero knew. The villagers were yelling the word gundervalden in pavor. After a frustrating time, Liir yells gundervalden and is arrested without knowing why.

After escaping jail the group discover that a copper dragon was protecting that village. Being able to talk to the dragon (and holding the dragon-slaying fury of the pixie) they discover that an evil mage were creating unnatural beings who prays on villagers. These creatures, Toscos, were named "Gundervalden" by that village.

Arriving in a dead city controled by that evil mage they discover that it turned to a distoted factory of Toscos. Half construction, half organic material. They burn everything to the ground and go away satisfied with it.

After getting some food and water on the village they leave for the tower. But they find a mansion in the middle of the desert. A baron invite them to spend the night there. But they didn't know he was a vampire.

He uses a sleeping gas on their chambers, and everybody falls asleep except the druid. She puts everybody on her back and tries to flee. But she is intercepted by the villain. Almost being defeated alone, the druid Allyha does not know what to do. Nimb than wakes her friends and they defeat the vampire for good.

Finaly they arrive on the tower where it is suposed to be the... thing... they should get. They face several challenges each floor. They arrived on the last floor and discovered that the most precious thing to Nimb, what they were suposed to rescue there was, in fact, a boy named Bob.

He is a spoiled brat. He wants things and gets it otherwise things goes badly.

On their way leaving the desert they find the vampire manor with new owners. The kobolds who were homeless after the heroes passage are living there. They were willing to forgive the heroes and invited them to make peace to Krummsh. Than one of them accidentaly lets a candle fall and ends burning the manor to the ground. The kobolds were homeless again. The heroes than fled as fast as humanly (or demi-humanly) possible.

He decides he wants to be a pirate. And makes the group go to the sea (prety far away trip). Liir and the group (who already had a lot of money) bought a ship and found some crew to work for them.

Than Bob decided they, as pirates, should search for a legendary treasure: the holy MacGuffin.

[lorddrake]

The group trying to find the place where it was supposed to be the holy MacGuffing, arrived in an island with only women. The heterossexual guys find the island... fascinating. Than it was discovered the women on the island killed all their husbands. They escape with some sadness.

On another island they flee a lot of weird giants.

On another island they rescue an old man from evil harpies.

They find some moving cliffs that tries to crush the ship as it passes through. They goes fast enough and reach the kingdom where it is suposed to be the holy MacGuffin.

There they face a Gorgon and a dragon and win. Deserving the holy MacGuffin. A golden skin of sheep. With no powers or magic.

They leave. On the sea they are visited by a powerful and wise sea-elf. He teaches the way to the place they are supposed to go, there they find the avatars of several gods including Nimb. They say that they were chosen (clichè) to a holy mission they are not supposed to know.

Nimb says they should obey Bob. That is the only order.

And they have to obey the most unpleasant kid ever. Hilarity ensues.

[lorddrake]

They land on a big city that is having a large fair. Bob promptly says that he wants a candy that is only sold on this fair.

A paladin of Thyatis, the god of ressurection and prophecy, arrives and says he saw that group and he should help them because he had a vision of them. And another one joins the madhouse.

They leave Bob on the ship with the crew and they start looking for the candy. Suddenly a half-orc gets angry at them for no apparent reason. They fight. The militia comes to stop the problem and they were taking the orc in custody (because he was known and caused trouble before), but a beautiful woman testifies that the culprits were the heroes.

They get arrested, but manages to escape and get the candy after some struggle. Only to arrive to the port to see their ship leaving. With the beautiful woman on the deck. With them! A copy of them, actually.

They manage to get on. They say they are the real ones, but she asks how can they prove it?

The paladin promptly yells that they can because:
"WE HAVE CANDY!!!"

The woman dispells the illusion of the copies and they discover that the woman was, in fact, Krummsh with a plan to revenge. They fight and eventually win, but Krummsh flees swering revenge.