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Rougn
2011-11-30, 11:08 PM
I noticed alot of threads on people trying to guess how belkar will die so I figured why not do a thread on funny/interesting ways he will die?

My fun theory is V's body is taken over and is being used by the evil organization and belkar knows if the world ends mr. Scruffy will die as well. So he fights V for as long as he can dies but last long enough for all of V's time to end. V being so ashamed of hir decision that killed a team mate s/he never revealed the truth and the party refuses to raise belkar because they felt he turned traitor finally.

eulmanis12
2011-12-01, 07:18 AM
he picks a fight with the snarl to save mr scruffy.

ThePhantasm
2011-12-01, 09:03 AM
I noticed alot of threads on people trying to guess how belkar will die so I figured why not do a thread on funny/interesting ways he will die?

My fun theory is V's body is taken over and is being used by the evil organization and belkar knows if the world ends mr. Scruffy will die as well. So he fights V for as long as he can dies but last long enough for all of V's time to end. V being so ashamed of hir decision that killed a team mate s/he never revealed the truth and the party refuses to raise belkar because they felt he turned traitor finally.

Sorry, but if you noticed there were multiple threads already on this topic, then why did you make yet another one? Why can't we post funny / joke theories in an already existing thread? Like this one (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=220548) or this one (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=218645).

Dr.Epic
2011-12-01, 09:29 AM
CRAB BATTLE!!!

blackjack217
2011-12-01, 09:38 AM
He tries to make Pun-Puns head into a novelty item.

Dr.Epic
2011-12-01, 09:45 AM
He tries to make Pun-Puns head into a novelty item.

But Belkar would obviously win that fight.

mrmcfatty
2011-12-01, 01:02 PM
CRAB BATTLE!!!

maybe he will fight some kind of cave demon, and it might just break his knife...i mean daggers :smalltongue:

Rougn
2011-12-01, 02:39 PM
Sorry, but if you noticed there were multiple threads already on this topic, then why did you make yet another one? Why can't we post funny / joke theories in an already existing thread? Like this one (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=220548) or this one (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=218645).

Because those are theories that might happen and people are talking about how it could happen. Starting new theories on random ways and funny ways he would die would go off topic and will get the thread locked. Here people can bounce back completely crazy theories that will never happen for fun without worrying about spamming a thread based on people discussing how it could happen.

Dr.Epic
2011-12-01, 04:13 PM
maybe he will fight some kind of cave demon, and it might just break his knife...i mean daggers :smalltongue:

OLIOLIOLIOOOO!!!:smalltongue::smallwink:

Procyonpi
2011-12-01, 04:29 PM
OMG BELKAR WON'T DIE I'M SUPER SMART AND SAW THE LOOPHOLE IN THE ORACLE'S PROPHECY EVEN THOUGH RICH EXPLICITLY MADE FUN OF THESE THEORIES IN THE COMIC ALREADY I'M TOTALLY RIGHT THIS TIME!
:trollface:

bertoltus
2011-12-01, 04:33 PM
Roy: Wow, Belkar! I would have never thought that you'd be willing to save all our asses from Xykon! And now he's gone once and for all!
Belkar: Stop calling me that name! It holds too many bad memories. Now that my eyes have finally opened to the righteous path, I will change my name to...
Oracle: Disintegrate!
Roy::smalleek:
Oracle: What? Did you really believe he'd stay good forever?
Roy: Well, not really...
Friend of Evisceratus: Dammit! And I was so close!

Quackenbush
2011-12-01, 06:17 PM
Xykon kills Belkar, but then Durkon gets the gods to make him an actual SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!

Rougn
2011-12-01, 07:17 PM
Xykon kills Belkar, but then Durkon gets the gods to make him an actual SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!

I can roll with that actually. He dies by Xykon hands and fights his way up to claiming the position of sexy shoeless god of war and when the real final battle cames angels decend down under the order of Belkar to assist Roy group just to brag.

Silva Stormrage
2011-12-01, 07:20 PM
I can roll with that actually. He dies by Xykon hands and fights his way up to claiming the position of sexy shoeless god of war and when the real final battle cames angels decend down under the order of Belkar to assist Roy group just to brag.

That doesn't work because I believe gods are still counted as alive. And also he would not need to savor his next birthday if he was just going to ascend to godhood. Funny theory though.

Rougn
2011-12-01, 09:50 PM
That doesn't work because I believe gods are still counted as alive. And also he would not need to savor his next birthday if he was just going to ascend to godhood. Funny theory though.

Lol the whole point of this thread is theories that are fun and won't happen so crazy theories have a home xD

rbetieh
2011-12-01, 11:14 PM
Eaten by the empress of blood, after KillKill has a clerical error.

Ron Miel
2011-12-02, 12:55 AM
Do gods actually breathe?

If not, then becoming a god will mean he draws his last breath, and also he won't be in THIS world any more.

I don't think the oracle ever said "dies", did he?

Bulldog Psion
2011-12-02, 06:55 AM
Belkar has himself teleported to the Plane of Ranch Dressing in order to kill the kobold who shot his cat, is coated in ranch, and gets teleported back to the Empress' throne room, where he is mistaken for a walking olive and eaten.

Deepbluediver
2011-12-02, 02:36 PM
Do gods actually breathe?

If not, then becoming a god will mean he draws his last breath, and also he won't be in THIS world any more.

I don't think the oracle ever said "dies", did he?

The not breathing thing probably applies to a few other templates as well.
Who votes for Belkar coming back as some kind of kick-ass undead?

Bulldog Psion
2011-12-02, 02:43 PM
The not breathing thing probably applies to a few other templates as well.
Who votes for Belkar coming back as some kind of kick-ass undead?

This thread isn't supposed to be about that. It's about the weird, silly ways that Belkar isn't going to die, but it's fun to come up with anyway.

grimbold
2011-12-02, 03:16 PM
CRAB BATTLE!!!

Dr. Epic
you never fail to make my day :smallcool:

martianmister
2011-12-02, 03:23 PM
1. Resurrected versions of Miko and the kobolds will kill him. Then they use his body parts as cat litters...

2. Something very anticlimaxing and ironic.

Sir Augusta
2011-12-02, 04:36 PM
My fun theory is V's body is taken over and is being used by the evil organization and belkar knows if the world ends mr. Scruffy will die as well. So he fights V for as long as he can dies but last long enough for all of V's time to end. V being so ashamed of hir decision that killed a team mate s/he never revealed the truth and the party refuses to raise belkar because they felt he turned traitor finally.

Everyone says V's body will be "taken over," though I'm nearly 110% sure that the IFCC doesn't get V's soul until after he/she dies.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

martianmister
2011-12-02, 05:50 PM
Everyone says V's body will be "taken over," though I'm nearly 110% sure that the IFCC doesn't get V's soul until after he/she dies.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Either way, it's not the right place to discuss this.

Dr.Epic
2011-12-02, 05:54 PM
Dr. Epic
you never fail to make my day :smallcool:

That's sig worthy!

Hbgplayer
2011-12-03, 02:30 AM
Belkar will fall into one of the rifts, and land on the planet within. He will find that the snarl has developed order and turned into another planet, and will spend the rest of his life there, never breathing again on the plane he was originally from. :smalltongue:

Kish
2011-12-03, 06:22 AM
Is this thread for "entertaining ways Belkar will die," or for "how Belkar will dodge the prophecy"?

Bulldog Psion
2011-12-03, 10:11 AM
Is this thread for "entertaining ways Belkar will die," or for "how Belkar will dodge the prophecy"?

It's supposed to be "entertaining ways Belkar will die", and I hope that it maintains that theme, myself ... :smalleek:

RecklessFable
2011-12-03, 11:16 AM
Undead Belkar fights Undead Miko for eternity.

Dr.Epic
2011-12-03, 11:26 AM
Undead Belkar fights Undead Miko for eternity.

That doesn't explain how he dies. Just what his corpse does after he dies.

Who149
2011-12-03, 11:42 AM
Belkar kills everyone, and then himself, for he has nobody else to kill.

mrmcfatty
2011-12-03, 01:05 PM
Undead Miko kills belkar and then undead belkar kills miko obviously.

Rougn
2011-12-03, 02:20 PM
Is this thread for "entertaining ways Belkar will die," or for "how Belkar will dodge the prophecy"?

Funny ways Belkar will die. Say what you will about the oracle but he hasnt lied yet and if I am not mistaken The Gaint has said Belkar will die. He is a dead man walking a awesome one but still dead.

hamishspence
2011-12-03, 02:37 PM
Say what you will about the oracle but he hasnt lied yet and if I am not mistaken The Gaint has said Belkar will die.

He's stated that the Oracle's prophesies are "for real" in War & XPs, at least.