Your preferred Explosive Runes keyword?

[jaybird]

Inspired by: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=12317920&postcount=17

In line with V's "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning", what are your preferred one-liners for delivering potentially one of the most hilariously effective spells in D&D?

I'll start:

"Pen beats sword."

[Curious]

Bam, said the lady.

[Flickerdart]

Any topical explosion-related one-liner should do just fine.

[navar100]

"Gotcha"

"Boom"

"Uh-oh"

"Hello"

"Goodbye"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

[bobthe6th]

Warning: reading these ruins may be hazardous to your health.

[Critical]

This letter will self-detonate in

[Sunken Valley]

A monkey!

Ba bomb!

[Arcane_Snowman]

You know you're in trouble when...

[Reaver225]

"My queen, I bid this urgent missive to you; I hope against all hope that it is not too late. I fear your life is in grave danger, and the kingdom at risk. I can only hope that this letter is not interceptexplosive runes"

[Cespenar]

"It's a trap!"

[Dimers]

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

Supercalifragilistic-explode-ocious. :smallsmile:

[Rubik]

"My queen, I bid this urgent missive to you; I hope against all hope that it is not too late. I fear your life is in grave danger, and the kingdom at risk. I can only hope that this letter is not interceptexplosive runes"I like this one. :smallbiggrin:

[TechnoScrabble]

Dear thief, you suck!

I think ahead.

Any last words?

I hope you're literate.

Moar dakka?

Pyromania is fun!

Please open your textbook to page

If I were a snake I would've bit ya!

Foolproof.

This property guarded by WIZTECH(TM) security runes!

Pow! Right in the kisser!

Betcha wish you were a barbarian right now, eh?

I said no.

My other car is explosive runes.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like...wizards.

I can't believe it's not firetrap!

[Pokonic]

Hey, nice try grabbing my wallet.

Owned and protected by Effriti security since the Dawn Wars.

Wrong scroll, dumb***!

My spellbook is on another body.

So, any last words before your flesh is seperated from your bones?

I realy, realy hope your are a actualy a lich. Because I covered everything in your house with runes while your where away.

Before you die, you do get a A for effort.

Liches usualy dont keep there soul jars on there person. I would think you would know that, slayer.

[Silva Stormrage]

"Made of explodium"

"This object was created by Michael Bay"

"This IS MY BOOMSTICK "

"Hello"

"Wrong choice"

[myancey]

"My queen, I bid this urgent missive to you; I hope against all hope that it is not too late. I fear your life is in grave danger, and the kingdom at risk. I can only hope that this letter is not interceptexplosive runes"

This was pretty hilarious.

Edit: I'd probably just say "bustin' chops".

[Mantarni]

1) By reading these terms and conditions you have agreed to the terms and conditions by which these runes apply.


2) You have been pre-approved for this one-time offer! Continue reading to find out the details!

[CTrees]

Wah wah wah waaaaaahhhh (http://sadtrombone.com/)

This message will self destruct in 5... 4... 3...

Two men walk into a bar. The third man explodes.

Duck... duck... no seriously, duck!

[TechnoScrabble]

Please don't sue.

By reading these runes, you have agreed to the terms and conditions by which I will scatter your burning remains across the nearest heap of refuse.

Made in (campaign setting).

Spicy!

Warning! Contents may be hot!

Warning! Keep out of reach of children!

I'm running out of ink.

Worth it.

Chuck Norris Seal of Approval.

Dontcha wish your wizard was hot like me?

Contains no Sepia Snake Sigil.

100% All Magical BOOM!

Hasta la vista, baby!

I don't suffer from pyromania, I enjoy it.

You survived the fire trap on my backpack?

Explosive Rune 1 of 13.

Evoking is fun!

Losing is fun!

Ha! Gotcha!

Best. Alarm system. EVAR.

Top THAT, kobolds!

IMA FIRIN MAH LAZAAAAAAA!

Poof.

Snap.

Crackle.

Pop.

The giant, glowing, keep out sign wasn't enough for you?

It's the small touches that make the house/book a home/bomb.

[Okizruin]

Mine wouldn't be words, but rather a picture of a Storm Crow.

[Dr.Epic]

Look very closely

[bobthe6th]

Expressive Rule!

[Pokonic]

Made in (campaign setting).



This is great. I am going to pull a "Made in Faerun" on my players in the next low-magic game I play in.:smallamused:

[TechnoScrabble]

trollface.jpg

[Othesemo]

Studies have shown that thieves have 17% less wisdom than a wizard of the same level.

[Zeta Kai]

"There is a secret message written below, but it will only be visible for those who are truly special. For those with the proper gift, you need only blow gently onto the surface below, & your breath will reveal the hidden words."


EXPLOSIVE RUNES, SUCKER!

[Flickerdart]

Studies have shown that thieves have 17% less wisdom than a wizard of the same level.
Amusingly enough, a Wizard is likelier to dump Wisdom than a Rogue is, since he doesn't need it with his good Will save.

[Bosaxon]

"You just activated my trap card!"

[TechnoScrabble]

draw a trollface

UMADBRO?

Gonna get 'sploded (with a you gonna get purged face drawn next to it)

I'm a wizard, Harry.

Sorry, I can't answer the scry right now, please leave a message after the boom. (since the explosion travels to anyone who's scrying the runes)

[Tokuhara]

"TOASTY!!!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7KK7bXJV2c&feature=related)

"Dear Reader:

If you are reading this, that means you have ignored the warning on my bag and decided to try and steal from me. I must congratulate you. Your stupidity is unbelievable. Stealing from a (my class). Not too terribly bright there, buddy. I understand. We all need to make a living. However, by doing this, you are asking for serious trouble. The fact you got past the rest of my comrades without them noticing you is quite remarkable.

On the underside of this stone is a smiley face to make you feel better just before I recieve my sweet revenge for you trying to steal from me.

Have a Nice Day!

(Character's Name)

P.S. This is an Explosive Rune, jack***"

"Word to the Wise: Never steal from somebody with a spellbook"

[MesiDoomstalker]

"You should of been an Wizard. Then you wouldn't be stupid enough to steal from a fellow Wizard."

"BOOM! Goes the Rogue!"

"You've got some splatterin' to do!"

"Evasion won't help you."

"I promise, the next page is worse."

"Your about to become a bloddy theif. No I'm serious. Bloody."

"I love the smell of burnt Rogue in the morning. Smells like dead thieves."

"Victory is mine!"

[TechnoScrabble]

What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-BOOM!

Explosive Rune is credit to team!

The Game.

If you're of evil alignment, say hello to mother for me.

[Dr.Epic]

This is for Frodo!

[Wyntonian]

You've got something on your face.... got if off for you.

Look down. Now up. I'm a rune. What kind of rune? Over there. It's the wizard you stole this spellbook from. Look back. I'm smoking. Look at your party members. Their bacon this morning smelled like the burnt thief you're about to smell like. Back at me. I'm exploding. Look down. It's Baator. Look up. It's Celestia. I'm on a Phantom Steed.

[bobthe6th]

I say hello...

my real book is in the other pocket

[TechnoScrabble]

You've got something on your face.... got if off for you.

Look down. Now up. I'm a rune. What kind of rune? Over there. It's the wizard you stole this spellbook from. Look back. I'm smoking. Look at your party members. Their bacon this morning smelled like the burnt thief you're about to smell like. Back at me. I'm exploding. Look down. It's Baator. Look up. It's Celestia. I'm on a Phantom Steed.

Well, I was trying to win the thread with trolling quotes but you take the cake.

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

SHAZAM!

FEED ME ROGUES.

AFLAC!

[Drelua]

Look down. Now up. I'm a rune. What kind of rune? Over there. It's the wizard you stole this spellbook from. Look back. I'm smoking. Look at your party members. Their bacon this morning smelled like the burnt thief you're about to smell like. Back at me. I'm exploding. Look down. It's Baator. Look up. It's Celestia. I'm on a Phantom Steed.

This bit of brilliance made me realize just how empty my sig is. I humbly request the privilege to use the above quote to rectify this terrible situation.

As to the topic at hand:"I know what you're thinking. "Did he cast Explosive Runes or not?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as I'm a sorcerer, the most powerful one in the nation, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? Go ahead, turn the page, see if you are. I mean, you could just walk away, but then you'd never know..."

(next page) "You just had to find out, didn't ya?" *BOOM*

[Dimers]

"More dangerous than Candlejack by fifty-three p

:smallsmile:

Or just the prosaic "Have a nice day!"

[Fearan]

My personal favorite is
"Darkness beyond twilight. Crimson beyond blood that flows..."

[Wyntonian]

This bit of brilliance made me realize just how empty my sig is. I humbly request the privilege to use the above quote to rectify this terrible situation.


By all means. Nice Dirty Harry, by the way.

[TechnoScrabble]

I wanted to do a Dirty Harry but couldn't think of how to word it.

If you can alter the spells so the explosion goes BAM BA DAM!, then go with 'Hey Black Betty!'

:smallannoyed: or :smallamused: or even :smalltongue:

Heshin a boomboom!

When the rune hits your eye with several damage die that's explosive! (to the tune of amore' or whatever that moon and eyes and pizza song is called)

Surround the item with flasks of flammable oil and write 'Fwoosh'.

FREEBIRD!

Revenge of the Lanky Bugger!

Don't open until Christmas.

Seasoned with 40 Runes and Sigils!

Power Word: Boom!

I can't believe it's not firetrap/sepia snake sigil/arcane mark!

I can't choose what font to use...

Can you imagine how deadly email would be with this shiznit?

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Read this!

"Must read! An instant best seller!"-Explosive Runes Magazine

You should see the look on your face. What's left of it, anyways.

[Hirax]

If you can read this, you are too close.

Still better than a romance novel.

Goose.

Karen Traviss was here.

[Strormer]

"Word to the Wise: Never steal from somebody with a spellbook"

Amusingly enough, truer words have rarely been spoken.

Incidentally:
To Whom it may Concern: Kaboome!
When a problem comes along, explosive runes
Thou art no more
Por que?
Does this wizard look like a b**** to you?
This message brought to you by toasty flakes

[Zaq]

Some bad high school poetry might be in order. I won't post any. Use your imagination.

"Personwho'sabouttogetexplodedsayswhat?"

The word "gotcha" in every different language you know. Common comes last.

"I trust the barbarian messenger who brought this to you made it in one piece?"

"This is the punchline. It'll hit you in a second."

[Dimers]

Goose.

Subtle. I like it. :smallbiggrin:

[Flickerdart]

Some bad high school poetry might be in order. I won't post any. Use your imagination.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Explosive runes?

There once was a man from Xen'drik
Who had a very big- explosive runes?

[Prospector]

My personal favorite is
"Darkness beyond twilight. Crimson beyond blood that flows..."

I love this!!! One of my favorite series.

Anyway, here are some of my favs:

"Flame On!"

"I've come to deliver some bad luck."

"CHAAAANCE!"

"You are already dead."

"Ta-daaa!"

"Ka, wait for it, BOOM!"

"Baka"

"Art is an explosion."

"Your blasting off again!"

"That... is a secret"

"This land is made of LOVE AND PEACE! And Explosive Runes."

"It is imperative that you pay attention at this time..."

"Your 'Explosive Rune Sense' should be tingling right about now..."

And finally,

"Hey!....Listen!"

[killem2]

Is the key word what sets it off? I thought from the spell description they just have to read what ever and BOOM.

[Flickerdart]

Is the key word what sets it off? I thought from the spell description they just have to read what ever and BOOM.
No, it's what you write down for them to read. Alternatively, the keyword to your Contingent dispel on the book.

[Lonely Tylenol]

By the time you're finished
reading this message,
you will realize that
it says nothing of value
and by then it will be
too late for you
have a nice day!

Alternately, you could do a more faithful representation of the T-shirt:

By the time you've finished
reading this message,
you will realize that
you just wasted
the last five
seconds of your
miserable life

[Little Brother]

You've got something on your face.... got if off for you.

Look down. Now up. I'm a rune. What kind of rune? Over there. It's the wizard you stole this spellbook from. Look back. I'm smoking. Look at your party members. Their bacon this morning smelled like the burnt thief you're about to smell like. Back at me. I'm exploding. Look down. It's Baator. Look up. It's Celestia. I'm on a Phantom Steed.You win.

I normally am fine with Zero-Wing references. "Someone set this up the bomb," that sorta thing. Not that funny, but eh.

[Mono Vertigo]

"Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe, maybe. I've yet to meet one that can outsmart explosive runes."
"What was that, Explosive Rune? Kill them all? Good idea!"
"The burning you feel? Is not shame."
"Look at you! Any second now, you're gonna look like you ran through traffic!"
"If you read now, I'll throw in a second explosion, absolutely free."
"No other class' gonna do that!"
"Repeat after me: boom boom boom I'm dead."
"Hey, look, you're about to shapeshift into a dead guy."
"Pop quiz: how long does it take to blow up a moron to death? BOOM, sorry, time's up, you're dead."
"They're gonna have to glue you back together. IN HELL."
"I hate you thieves. Everybody bloody hate you!"
"That's where being literate gets you, professor!"
"Maybe your colleagues will send an illiterate genius next time."
"Your murderer could be in this very room. He could be you. He could be... wait, it is you reading those runes."
"Don't worry, your head will grow back. No, it won't."
"Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone who reads your Explosive Runes."
"Grass grows, birds fly, runes explode, and brother, I hurt people."


TF2 makes everything better, so there.

[Socratov]

"Gotcha"

snip for relevance

I see what you did there... (has blackened eyebrows as of now)

also: "this message will selfdestruct when read"
for explosive runes with energy substitution: "THUNDERSTRUUUCK!" (only with a high falcetto voice) "you, sir, are royally screwed", "No mister, I expect you to die..." (james bond reference just for laugs), and ofcourse the unmistakeable Monty P. Reference: "Just a fleshwound..."


snip for relevance
TF2 makes everything better, so there.

indeed it does

[Ziegander]

I always thought you had to read the runes themselves, not some message written in common. Wouldn't someone have to make a successful Decipher Script check on the runes to blow themselves up?

[Wyntonian]

I always thought you had to read the runes themselves, not some message written in common. Wouldn't someone have to make a successful Decipher Script check on the runes to blow themselves up?

What if the runes were shaped like common letters? And spelled a word? MIND=BLOWN.


Yes, I noticed the pun.

[Shyftir]

kthxbai. and other letters cuz thats to short.

[Ziegander]

What if the runes were shaped like common letters? And spelled a word?

*shrug*

Wouldn't fly if I were DM. You're still not actually reading the runes, you're just reading a cute little message made up of runes.

[TechnoScrabble]

Healing, cheap and easy! Just call 1-800-CLERIC!

Was it good for you?

[Cespenar]

"This is an experiment to find out exactly when in the process of reading does the Explosive Runes spell detonate. Please remain calm. The text is long enough for the reader (that is you) to actually drop this scroll before reading to its completion, if the spell actually works like that. There's also the chance that it blew up before even reaching this point. Anyway, right now is a good get-away point. On the off chance that you're still reading, though, let us inform you that one of our agents will be teleporting to your location within a minute to collect the data. If you survive to meet our agent, do be good enough to assist him, and you will be compensated for taking part in this groundbreaking (if you pardon the pun) experiment. If you do not, rest in peace that you have helped us take a step forward in our quest to knowledge.

In good heart,

Department of Research, Arcane Academy"

[Popertop]

"This object was created by Michael Bay"

That's hilarious.

I would put "It's been revoked."

because I love throwing out nonsequential one liners that need a set up

[Trekkin]

Hastur, Hastur, Hastur.


alternatively, label the other side of the paper "Parchment of Trap Detection" and then:
Look out! A fireball trap!

Why make it obvious that the runes are exploding? :smallbiggrin:

[TechnoScrabble]

You Can't Handle The Runes!

[Lawst]

In one of the games I have DMed over the years, I had a player who rolled up a sorcerer shortly after reading this comic. Every day that the party spent in town, he would purchase parchments of paper and create his "Explosive Runes". He had informed me of what he was doing, but never did the runes actually get used.

Fast foward a year (real-time) later, the party has all leveled from up to twelve after many epic tales and roleplaying. A war has come to lands in which they played, and they were beginning siege of a town. One marvelous morning in that town, pamphlets of folded paper started falling from the sky. On the outside, bearing the symbols of their besiegers (those who the party is working for), they stated a question "Why (the party's side) cares about your freedom!" and on the inside "I don't know. -Mav" Boom!

[Pokonic]

To be fair, the other orb was actualy a portal to Nessus.

[Elboxo]

"It looks like
I prepared explosive runes today
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"

You have to time it so that you start putting your glasses on as they start reading it.

Alternatively;
"Terrorists win"

[TechnoScrabble]

My favorite experience using this spell was sneaking into an opposing wizard's library with several dozen scrolls of explosive runes and casting it on each of his spell books and the tags in his brand name underoos.

[Bastian Weaver]

Behind you.

[Cespenar]

"You're not a cool guy." (he will be looking at explosions, so, ahem.)

[Kane0]

You Fool! I told you not to touch it!

Now look what you've done.

Good thing the barbarian cant read right? Wait, your not the barbarian are you?

Who cares if this isn't the right magic scroll? The other one was probably worse, right?

Tut tut, you should have taken the blue scroll.

[Insert witty remark here]

Quick! You need to get out of here before explosive runes!

Strike three, you're out.

My next trap operates on the scent of burnt flesh.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Cryptic message about explosions.


Thats all i got for now.

[Dr.Epic]

Quick! Turn half your face so you can cosplay as Harvey Dent.

[Zale]

"The last thing you see will be a cheesy pun. Oh and BOOM BABY!"

"Bob. I told you. Stop trying to read my spellbook."

"Really Bob? How many times have I blown you up now?"

"The secret to life, the universe and everything is.. (Please turn page)" "Is... Forty Two. Boom.."

[DarkestKnight]

This is from a friend of mine, that regaled me with the tale of certain explosive cupcakes.
"the secret is in the frosting, but I'll never tell"

My picks are:

"Dear rogue, this is reason 3 why you shouldn't taunt the barbarian for not being able to read"

"this is what a 404 feels like" (funnier if the caster is a warforged)

"Did you know you can just make your own road signs?"

" Please disregard all incendiary fortune cookies" (in a fortune cookie)

[panaikhan]

Ones I've seen or used in the past (in no particular order)

"....... Smokin'!"
"Seems to me, you lived your life like a Candle in the Wind"
"Flame On"
"Don't you wish this had been a Sepia Snake Sigil?"
(in invisible ink/script) "Made You Look"
"Who Let The Bombs Out?"
"Kill it. Kill it with Fire"

[Qwertystop]

Sorry, I can't answer the scry right now, please leave a message after the boom. (since the explosion travels to anyone who's scrying the runes)

Yeah, that's always weird. The explosion hits the reader, distance irrelevant.

EDIT: Also, it never says what language the explosive runes have to be in. Step 1: You write a message. Step 2: Someone reads it. Step 3: The message explodes.


Also, you can't cast it on existing writing to turn it into explosive runes. You cast the spell and write the message. (I wish you could)

[Tsuzurao]

Yeah, that's always weird. The explosion hits the reader, distance irrelevant.

Am I missing something? The description says that it hits anyone next to the runes without a Reflex save, and hits anyone within 10 ft., but grants a Reflex save for them.

[hushblade]

Do you like me?

[]Yes
[]No
[]Explosive Runes

[tigerusthegreat]

Being a Chaotic Evil DM, I'd probably just have written on the first page of every book in a wizard's library:

"One word in this tome is an explosive rune. Feeling Lucky?"

The best part, I'd make it a custom spell that detonated 1d4 minutes after being read, and the triggering text was reading any part of the above message.


Not a one-liner, I know, but it is evil.

[jaybird]

Am I missing something? The description says that it hits anyone next to the runes without a Reflex save, and hits anyone within 10 ft., but grants a Reflex save for them.

It hits anyone "close enough to read", by Pathfinder at least. I'm not sure where ER hitting Scry comes from either.

[MesiDoomstalker]

Am I missing something? The description says that it hits anyone next to the runes without a Reflex save, and hits anyone within 10 ft., but grants a Reflex save for them.

The exact text that allows the wonky damage is:


The runes detonate when read, dealing 6d6 points of force damage

I'd rule this as meaning the rune detonates and damages anyone close enough but I can see a RAW arguement of dealing auto-damage to the reader despite being miles away.

[hushblade]

Does explosive runes + spyglass = remote detonated mines?

[TechnoScrabble]

Does explosive runes + spyglass = remote detonated mines?

NO, it equals the reader losing their face

[hushblade]

Well, by the wonky RAW anyway, but my RAMS it should probably make the remote detonation.

[Qwertystop]

The reason I was using was that it says anyone close enough to read them gets damaged with no save. If they read the runes, they are clearly close enough to read them. Therefore, if anyone reads them, they get damaged.

[jaybird]

The reason I was using was that it says anyone close enough to read them gets damaged with no save. If they read the runes, they are clearly close enough to read them. Therefore, if anyone reads them, they get damaged.

The issue being that you're not "really there" with scrying...

[Qwertystop]

The issue being that you're not "really there" with scrying...

Not the point. If you are reading it, you must be close enough to read it, or how would you be reading it?

[Tokuhara]

I once was playing a Rogue/Sorcerer/Arcane Trickster/Unseen Seer who had snuck into a Lich's Hideout (he turned out to be the original BBEG) and filled the room with explosive runes. My DM took us all outside, put essentially a script on the pavement and lit it on fire. Turned out, I destroyed his entire campaign.

The next campaign, I was playing a Wizard in a Faerunian campaign. The entire party was Drow and we were fugitives. About halfway through, the party had obtained a Goblin who surrendered and we made him our manservant. Using a peephole, our Dashing Rogue had noticed that the next room had a large group of guards who were holding the McGuffan (some Spider Egg that housed the soul of Vecna, who was dethroned by another being, I think). I lined the door with a string of Greater Explosive Runes (homebrew spell that is Explosive Runes on 'roids) and the party set what turned into several hundred pounds of Alchemist Fire. The door was a super-heavy 6' thick adamantine door on iron hinges. Our goblin manservant was then told to read the rune that would start the chain reaction. The words written onto the rune?:

"Dear Squeik (the name of our manservant):

Your loyalty to our cause to clear our names and save Menzoberranzen is well appreciated. However, we find ourselves no longer in need of your services. You are a well-valued friend and ally, and we thankn you for your loyalty. But as said above, you are not required anymore.

Thank you for your service,

The Party

P.S. What that means is you're fired."

Immediately after, Squeik was blown up, and the adamantine door (weighing several tons) was sent flying off of its hinges, hitting one of the Drow guards. The DM then told me that Explosive Runes in all of its forms was banned indefinitely. I think it is because he had to tabulate the damage of an absurdly heavy door flying across the room (he calculated it somewhere in the ballpark of 64d10, since it was moving near terminal velocity)

"Happy Ending" Edit: However, after the battle, we doubled back and rose him as our minion. Now a Goblin Zombie with class levels (somehow) in Expert, we renamed him "Stinky, the Zombie Butler"

[killem2]

Not the point. If you are reading it, you must be close enough to read it, or how would you be reading it?

Same reason, I can kill someone with an illusion or wish to be stronger.

It's magic :P

[Elboxo]

I once was playing a Rogue/Sorcerer/Arcane Trickster/Unseen Seer who had snuck into a Lich's Hideout (he turned out to be the original BBEG) and filled the room with explosive runes. My DM took us all outside, put essentially a script on the pavement and lit it on fire. Turned out, I destroyed his entire campaign.


Can I sig. this? That's quite amazing.

[Tokuhara]

Can I sig. this? That's quite amazing.

Go Ahead bro

[Zale]

"Dear Squeik (the name of our manservant):

Your loyalty to our cause to clear our names and save Menzoberranzen is well appreciated. However, we find ourselves no longer in need of your services. You are a well-valued friend and ally, and we thankn you for your loyalty. But as said above, you are not required anymore.

Thank you for your service,

The Party

P.S. What that means is you're fired."

Immediately after, Squeik was blown up, and the adamantine door (weighing several tons) was sent flying off of its hinges, hitting one of the Drow guards. The DM then told me that Explosive Runes in all of its forms was banned indefinitely. I think it is because he had to tabulate the damage of an absurdly heavy door flying across the room (he calculated it somewhere in the ballpark of 64d10, since it was moving near terminal velocity)

"Happy Ending" Edit: However, after the battle, we doubled back and rose him as our minion. Now a Goblin Zombie with class levels (somehow) in Expert, we renamed him "Stinky, the Zombie Butler"

This? This is why I love Drow.

Blowing up your own servants- effective AND entertaining!

[Tokuhara]

This? This is why I love Drow.

Blowing up your own servants- effective AND entertaining!

Obviously, my DM was livid when we killed a Fanatical NPC to accomplish our goal. Unfortunately, everybody had an alignment shift diagonally towards CE (causing our Paladin to have a stroke)

[Zale]

You fixed him.

Sorta.

He was moving, wasn't he?

[Snowbluff]

The secret to 10 level ups and 1 million gp is....

Make a whole book of it, none of it useful, all explosive, and none of it helpful.

[Aidan305]

My favourite use was on a cube with sides numbered 1-6 and a letter on each side. Reading it in ascending order is M-O-O-B-A-K. Player: "Kaboom?" Other players: "Nooooooo!!!"

I also have a small card in my coat pocket with "I prepared Explosive Runes" written on it in Gallifreyan.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

"Please roll 6d6 -The DM"

"Frosted lucky runes... they're magically explosive!"

"Sucker"

"We're sorry, the text you are attempting to read will now explode"

"This message will self-destruct in..."

"Journal Entry 42:

It was deep in the Library of Leng, but I finally found it. After years of research and trekking to the furthest reaches of the world, I had come across the perfect killing spell. It offers no save, nor allows spell resistance, and will instantly slay... well... you. Goodbye."

[panaikhan]

"Tick ... Tick ... Tick ... Tick ... "

[lorddrake]

"Why so serious?"

"I see dead people"

"Do or do not. There is no try"

"I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid."

"I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine. He shall be my squishy. Come here squishy!"

"I know I have a heart because I feel it breaking."

"There's three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way and the way that I do it."

"No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM! "

"I guess that's what happens at the end, you start thinking about the beginning."

"You can`t change what people are.. without destroying who they were.."

"You're a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity."

"You try, you fail, you try, you fail, but the real failure is when you stop trying!"

"Kid, there are heroes and there are legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die"

"Never hate your enemies, it affects your judgement."

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Me, I always tell the truth, even when I lie"

"Because sometimes the truth isn't good enough, people deserve a little more."

"Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid."

"Stupid is as stupid does."

"Never tell me the odds."

"No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion."

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

"Aw, you guys made me ink."

"If you're afraid of dying it shows you have a life worth living."

"In their last moments, people show you who they really are."

"We live, we die. And the wheels on the bus go round and round."

[SaintRidley]

Chk-chk BOOM! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBBsb0z9RJk)

[gbprime]

Who needs keywords?

Behold, the Boom Box. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=10605783&postcount=15)

[TechnoScrabble]

Unlucky Charms! They're magically malicious!

[killem2]

Since I will be a wizard in my upcoming campaign, I will probably use:

"Dear Zanaver, It is quite sad you have to jot down everything. You are forgetting more and more each day. Unless you want to live in poverty, remember to turn the page over, which is titled: "Where I keep my inherited fortune."

Next Page: Boom? :smallbiggrin:

[Anarion]

©Wizards of the Coast
all rights reserved.

*explodes*

This is made funnier by the fact that all the characters in universe will think you're actually insane for writing gibberish.

[rewinn]

Many prefer the "Claymore Rune" (illustrated): http://thisainthell.us/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/claymore-thumb1.jpg

...but there's also:

"The Last Thing Passing Through Your Mind Will Be This."

[ShneekeyTheLost]

"This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.It's hard to overstate my satisfaction..."

[Mercenary Pen]

"Fire in the hole"

"Warning, do not try this at home."

[ShneekeyTheLost]

"Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science Enrichment Center activity"

[Dr.Epic]

uoy erimda i noisolpxe eht erofeb rehpiced ot emit hguone evah uoy fi

[Tokuhara]

uoy erimda i noisolpxe eht erofeb rehpiced ot emit hguone evah uoy fi

That, is truly epic. I had to put a mirror up to it, then nearly had a "Code Brown" I was laughing so hard. You are a genius

[Real Sorceror]

http://i1191.photobucket.com/albums/z468/Realsorceror/explosiverunes.png

[Jzadek]

Stop Right There Criminal Scum!

[Necroticplague]

"The spell isn't stuck on this with you reading it, your trapped reading this with the spell!"

[Pokonic]

Warning: Do not read this sentance out loud on the pain of death.

When in the Abyss, do as the Abyssians do.

"To be fair, at least this is not hidden in some poetry in a Demilichs lair."

While you prefer getting your hands dirty, I prefer to wipe out my foes while sipping my tea in Sigil.

(On the tomestone of a relitive of a PC, inscribed by the Big bad)

...In loving memory of the wonderful explosions she will have a hand in making a few years down the line.

Made in Netheril

[Orzel]

"Diarrhea"

"I clearly said to you. DON'T READ PAGE 35."

"I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and girls, let's try it again!" (Handed to the gloating baddie who capture us)

[Wyntonian]

THAT'LL teach you to read Twilight! HA!

[Covah]

I made you a cake! Wait. Wrong spell. Goodbye

[Dr.Orpheus]

Intricately fold paper up first, then write on the inside "Do you like origami? Because I just folded you a bomb."

[SamBurke]

"Up to 9000!"

"I'm outta Bubblegum, you're outta luck."

"Because Chuck Norris."

"BONK!"

"Taste the rainbow."

"Friendship is ALWAYS worth fighting for. So is my spellbook."

"The cake is a lie. The bomb isn't."

"How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato."

"FAAAAAAAAACE! Or.... no face."

"Kamehameha."

"Yip-i-kai-yay, mutha [boom]."

"Sonic Rainnuke to the face. You pity that barn now, don't you?"

[Zaq]

"You know, this is really your own fault."

"Thanks for making prepping this spell not a waste!"

"It's better to burn out."

[ZerglingOne]

Dodge this.

A(or any 1 letter word really, pretty pan-lingual)

Hope you have more than 10 hit points.

Next time, don't pickpocket the guy in the robe.

You've been ruined <---pronounced runed.

Duck season, FIRE! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-k5J4RxQdE)

2H2O + 2K -> 2KOH + H2

Fus Ro Dah

THIRTY-SIX FORCE DAMAGE <---maximized.

[TuggyNE]

"Better to go out with a bang than a whimper."

"Oops! You forgot who you were stealing from, didn't you?"

"Once bitten, twice shy. Once blown up...."

"Wham, bam, thank you Sam."

"Ready or not, here it comes."

[agentnone]

"Bet you're wishing for an arrow to the knee right about now, aren't you?"

"If at first you don't succeed, at least you'll know I did."

"I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night."

"So....how's tricks?"

"I was going to write something witty, but it's just going to get destroyed anyway."

"Not all loot is good loot."

"It pays to Discover."

"....buffering..."

"X + [PLOWS - (W)] + I + [VET - (T)] + [RUT - (T)] + [NEWS - (W)]"

"Please leave a message after the boom."

"All your face are belong to us."

Have the spell inscribed on each bone of a skeleton before you have the BBEG animate them, then when the PC's fight said skeletons, require Spot/Perception skill checks to notice the writing. Works best if you have the skeletons grapple said characters before making them do the checks. As you could possibly bend the rule as grappled folks occupy the same space, therefor not allowing the PC a chance to reflex out of it.

On a note found with a treasure map, the note says "X marks the spot" and the "X" on the map itself is the explosive rune.

[Alleran]

Not the point. If you are reading it, you must be close enough to read it, or how would you be reading it?
Because the archmage in question decided to write it in absolutely massive lettering on the surface of the moon for ***** and giggles?

[Qwertystop]

Because the archmage in question decided to write it in absolutely massive lettering on the surface of the moon for ***** and giggles?

Still close enough. It's only close enough for that particular writing, but still.

[georgie_leech]

Because the archmage in question decided to write it in absolutely massive lettering on the surface of the moon for ***** and giggles?

Huh. I've got a new super villain plot idea now...

[TheTick]

Chairface Chippendale as your super-villain? Writing his name on the moon in explosive runes? (you young people, look it up)

[agentnone]

Chairface Chippendale as your super-villain? Writing his name on the moon in explosive runes? (you young people, look it up)

Ha! Hilarious. Though still not a bad idea if you're gaming group has an old enough player base to understand the reference, let alone any fans of the comic/cartoon.

[jaybird]

"All your face are belong to us."


I'm almost certain this has been said, but just in case it hasn't:

"Somebody set up you the bomb."

[panaikhan]

Surely having the moon explode also be a good one for the Mad Midnight Bomber (wot bombs at midnight)

A quote I saw recently (in someone's sig), which made me think of this thread:

"Stop reading this. Seriously. Stop! No.. you're still reading! STOP!! Now look what you have done..."