[3.5] Spawn of Vile Darkness (Taking Requests)

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I recently pulled the ol' Book of Vile Darkness off the shelf, flipped through it, and though one thing: "this hunk of paper doesn't contain nearly enough monsters". Being the geek that I am, I decided to fix that.

A plan to create a handful of monster entries that use Vile Darkness mechanics. Beasts truly horrific and evil in nature. Terrifying abominations spawned from the festering blackness of malice itself. I will also try and incorporate mechanics form Heroes of Horror, and perhaps Lords of Madness.

Any requests?


NOTE: Debihuman contributed greatly. She is awesome, and deserves much of the credit.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Dark Young of Shub-Niggurath
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8f/Shub-Niggurath.jpg
Image from Wikipedia
Medium Aberration
Hit Dice: 4d8+15 (33)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 30 (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Dexterity, +6 Natural Armor), touch 9, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Clawed Tentacle +5 (2d4+2)
Full Attack: Clawed Tentacle +5 (2d4+2)
Space/Reach: 5/10 (1 square/2 squares)
Special Attacks: Clawing Darkness
Special Qualities: Aberration Traits, Mutations, Sunlight Vulnerability
Saves: Fort +4 (+6 against poison), Ref +0, Will +4
Abilities Str 14, Dex 8, Con 16, Int 6, Wis 10, Cha 6
Skills: +4 hide, +4 move silently, +5 intimidate
Feats: Toughness, Obese (Book of Vile Darkness)
Environment: Cold and temperate forests
Organization: Singular, Gang (1d2+2), Pack (3d4), or Brood (2d6+3)
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: Half standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement: Medium (5-7), Large (8-10), or Huge (11-15)
Level Adjustment: -

Shub-Niggurath embodies the dark, repulsive, vile side of nature. She represents all that rots, crawls, befouls, and burrows through dead flesh. She is a demigoddess of nature twisted beyond recognition by the Far Realm.

Her cults gather in the thick of the woods, preforming dark rites and vile sex acts in her name. They shed their blood - and that of victims - on the damp black soil to please the Dark mother. They chant awful curses from ancient tomes of evil and summon her young.

The dark young of Shub-Niggurath are bloated, disturbing things with four stumpy legs on the bottoms of the lumps of diseased flesh that are their bodies. On top are four tentacles ending in toothy maws or jagged claws, between them a gaping mouth. They use these deformed tendrils to tear into the flesh of their prey, clawing it into submission before feasting on their still-squirming bodies.

No two dark young are alike. Each carries a set of bizarre and disturbing deformities that make them deadly in their own unique way. Some have glands that produce acid which squirts out of their wounds. Some have a layer of congealed mucus which acts like armor. Some are semi-undead, and are surrounded by the stink of decaying flesh.

Thankfully, the dark young are not without their weaknesses. Although they can move as fast as men, they are clumsy and somewhat slow to react. They will also flee from sunlight, which burns their horribly moist flesh.

One can attempt to summon and control a dark young, but doing so is dangerous on many levels. The ritual requires at least six people (three men and three women), who must all shed a pint of blood. In their weakened state, they must use their minds to bind the abomination, it it will turn on the unlucky cultists and tear them apart.

Combat
During combat, dark young make good use of their allies, attacking distracted foes and flanking whenever possible. A pack will take down one target at a time whenever possible, waiting until they are no longer able to fight before moving on to the next foe.

Dark young will usually fight to the death. If a pack chooses to flee, they will leave the least wounded member behind to keep their foes busy while the rest escape.

Clawing Darkness (SP): As a standard action, a dark young can choose to summon solid shadows that claw a chosen foe within 30 feet apart, deaden their flesh, and wound their soul. They rise from the ground and attack the enemy, inflicting 1d8 points of vile damage (Book of Vile Darkness). This damaged can be reduced to 1d4 with a successful DC 13 Fortitude save. The save DC is Constitution based.

After preforming this action, the dark young loses 5 hit points.

Aberration Traits (SU):

Darkvision out to 60 feet.
Proficient with its natural weapons. If generally humanoid in form, proficient with all simple weapons and any weapon it is described as using.
Proficient with whatever type of armor (light, medium, or heavy) it is described as wearing, as well as all lighter types. Aberrations not indicated as wearing armor are not proficient with armor. Aberrations are proficient with shields if they are proficient with any form of armor.
Aberrations eat, sleep, and breathe.

Sunlight Vulnerability (SU): When the dark young starts it turn in direct sunlight, it loses 5 hit points.

Mutations (SU): Roll 1d10 twice and then consult the following chart. If both results are the same, re-roll one of them until they are different. the dark young gains the special abilities that correspond with the numbers rolled.


Acid Blood: When the dark young his hit by a melee attack, the attacker must make a DC 13 reflex save. If they fail, they suffer 1d8 acid damage. The save DC is Constitution-based.
Rotting Flesh: The dark young is cloaked in an offensive stench. All non-aberrations with 10 feet take a -2 penalty to saving throws, and regain only half the standard number of hits points from healing effects.
Mucus Armor: The dark young gains damage reduction 5/magic.
Decaying Darkness: The dark young is surrounded by dark energy that suffocates the soul. Whenever a non-aberration within 10 feet starts their turn, they must make a DC 13 Fortitude save. If they fail, they suffer 1d6 points of vile damage (Book of Vile Darkness). The save DC is Constitution-based.
Blood Frenzy: Whenever the dark young scores a critical it, it can immediately make two clawed tentacle attacks with a +2 bonus to the attack rolls and a +5 bonus to the damage rolls.
Thorns: The dark young is covered in black barbed spikes. Whenever it is hit by a melee attack with an attack roll result equal to the dark young's armor class, the attacker takes 1d10 damage and another 1d6 damage the next round.
Poison Spitting: The dark young can ejaculate blasts of green fluid that deaden the senses and torture the nerves. As a standard action, they can make a ranged touch attack against a creature within 25 feet. If the attack hits, the target suffers 1d4-1 negative levels. The dark young loses 5 hit points after using this power.
Turn of Speed: The dark young's base land speed is increased by 10 feet.
Hard Shell: The dark young gains damage reduction 5/piercing.
Regeneration: Whenever the dark young hits with an attack, they regain 1d4 hit points. This ability does not function for 5 minutes if the dark young is damaged by sunlight.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore
Religion DC 15 or Nature DC 10: This creature is the spawn of Shub-Niggurath, dark goddess of nature and decay.
Religion DC 20 or Nature DC 15: Dark young of Shub-Niggurath are vulnerable to sunlight, which burns their flesh and dulls their senses.

[Mulletmanalive]

Didn't get a chance to read this before you took it down.

There is no way in heck that 3d8 Vile damage should be anywhere near a CR 5 creature.

That stuff can't be healed in combat and a fairly hefty expenditure of gold to heal at all [30gp per healing session isn't nothing at low levels]

Heck, Corrupted is a pretty damn lethal template and that's a +2/+3 template that deals less vile damage than this thing.

Anyway, the rest of it's ok.

Edit: Have you posted this elsewhere before? Otherwise, this is a valid entry for the monster competition, as it is unable to operate in the daytime. Not a strong link but it's there.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Necrolithid

Medium Undead
Hit Dice: 6d12+3 (42 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 30 feet (6 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+6 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Corrupting claw melee +5 (1d6 + poison)
Full Attack: 2 Corrupting Claws melee +5/+0 (1d6 + poison)
Space/Reach: 5 feet/5 feet (1 square/1 square)
Special Attacks: Poison, Mind Decay, Withering Blast
Special Qualities: Undead Traits, Damage Reduction, Brain Feeding
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +6
Abilities Str 14, Dex 10, Con -, Int 17, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills: Intimidate +5,
Feats: Toughness, Improved Initiative
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Alliance (1d2+1)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Evil or Neutral Evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +7

Necrolithids are vile undead fiends akin to illithids. They do not posses the same level of psionic ability or manual dexterity, but are horribly deranged, and can use repulsive magic to warp and taint the flesh of their foes. These undead aberrations cannot create thralls and do not consume brains, but instead absorb the brain moisture from corpses for sustenance.

Necrolithids are born when a humanoid impregnated with an illithid tadpole dies. If the corpse is then touched by negative energy, the tadpole will become undead and the transformation will continue, creating a necrolithid. The foul-smelling monsters are despised by the mind flayers, considered freak accidents and pests that must be exterminated.

The necrolithid's opinion of themselves isn't much better; they are bitter towards their cursed existence. That isn't to say that they are suicidal. They will generally seek out others of their own kind and humanoid creatures to enslave, creating nomad groups that wander the dark places of the world, preying on travelers.

Combat
In combat, necrolithids will avoid their adversaries if they can, staying behind their enslaved minions and blasting their foes with dark magic. If forced into melee combat, they will target their most wounded for and tear them apart with their claws.

Poison (Su): When the necrolithid poisons a foe with its claws, the foe must make a DC 13 Fortitude save or take 1d6 points of vile damage. The save is constitution-based. (Book of Vile Darkness).

Mind Decay (Su): Three times per day, the necrolithid can unleash a burst of vile psychic energy in a 30-foot radius as a standard action. Each foe within the aura takes 2d10 points of psychic damage. (no save). In addition, each foe must make a DC 12 Will save or suffer an additional 2d4 points of vile damage and 1d2 nagative levels. The save is Charisma-based.

Withering Blast (Su): As a standard action, the necrolothid can blast of foe with sickly magic. This is a ranged touch attack. If the attack hits, the target suffers 1d2 negative levels (no save). In addition, each living target must succeed a Fortitude save (DC 12) or take 1d2 points of vile damage. The save is Charisma-based.

Undead Traits (SU):

No Constitution score.
Darkvision out to 60 feet.
Immunity to all mind-affecting effects (charms, compulsions, phantasms, patterns, and morale effects).
Immunity to poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, and death effects.
Not subject to critical hits, nonlethal damage, ability drain, or energy drain. Immune to damage to its physical ability scores (Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution), as well as to fatigue and exhaustion effects.
Cannot heal damage on its own if it has no Intelligence score, although it can be healed. Negative energy (such as an inflict spell) can heal undead creatures. The fast healing special quality works regardless of the creature’s Intelligence score.
Immunity to any effect that requires a Fortitude save (unless the effect also works on objects or is harmless).
Uses its Charisma modifier for Concentration checks.
Not at risk of death from massive damage, but when reduced to 0 hit points or less, it is immediately destroyed.
Not affected by raise dead and reincarnate spells or abilities. Resurrection and true resurrection can affect undead creatures. These spells turn undead creatures back into the living creatures they were before becoming undead.
Proficient with its natural weapons, all simple weapons, and any weapons mentioned in its entry.
Proficient with whatever type of armor (light, medium, or heavy) it is described as wearing, as well as all lighter types. Undead not indicated as wearing armor are not proficient with armor. Undead are proficient with shields if they are proficient with any form of armor.
Undead do not breathe, eat, or sleep.


Damage Reduction (EX): The necrolithid had damage reduction 5/slashing.

Brain Feeding (SU): As a full-round action, the necrolithid can can suck the brain juices out of a nearby corpse. The corpse must be of at least tiny size, must have a brain, and must not have had its brain juices already sucked out. After doing so, the necrolithid regains 2d4 hit points and takes 5 fewer points of damage the next time it is hit by an attack. This effect does not stack. Doing this provokes an attack of opportunity.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore
Arcana DC 18: This horrific fiend is a necrolithid, a wretched undead mind flayer. Necrolithids do not consume brains, but only brain juices.
Arcana DC 23: Necroliths cannot create thralls, and favor arcane over psionic power.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Edit: Have you posted this elsewhere before? Otherwise, this is a valid entry for the monster competition, as it is unable to operate in the daytime. Not a strong link but it's there.

I haven't posted it before, but aren't the monster entries supposed to be templates?

[Mulletmanalive]

nope. The entry about templates in the rules is incase you want to make one, so it spells out the rules connected to them.

Speaking of which, i really must fix the text under rule 4...

[The Tygre]

Love it. Definitely on the right track for cool monsters. One small formatting nitpick, though. When you're putting down what kind of power an ability, attack, or quality is, you only capitalize the first letter. So basically (Ex), (Su), or (Sp).

[Pokonic]

How about this guy: The Shadeslyth.

A creature with a facination for self-mutilation and pain, each the decendent of one touched with the Despoiler of Flesh and lived to breed with others afflicted as they are?

That like, covers about half the chapters in itself.

[Calanon]

Necrolithid

Medium Undead
Hit Dice: 6d12 (39)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 30 feet (6 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+6 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Corrupting claw +5 (1d6 + poison)
Full Attack: 2 Corrupting Claws +5/+0 (1d6 + poison)
Space/Reach: 5 feet/5 feet (1 square/1 square)
Special Attacks: Poison, Mind Decay, Withering Blast
Special Qualities: Undead Traits, Damage Reduction, Brain Feeding
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +6
Abilities Str 14, Dex 10, Con -, Int 17, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills: Intimidate +5,
Feats: Toughness, Improved Initiative
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Alliance (1d2+1)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Evil or Neutral Evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +7

Necrolithids are vile undead fiends akin to illithids. They do not posses the same level of psionic ability or manual dexterity, but are horribly deranged, and can use repulsive magic to warp and taint the flesh of their foes. These undead aberrations cannot create thralls and do not consume brains, but instead absorb the brain moisture from corpses for sustenance.

Necrolithids are born when a humanoid impregnated with an illithid tadpole dies. If the corpse is then touched by negative energy, the tadpole will become undead and the transformation will continue, creating a necrolithid. The foul-smelling monsters are despised by the mind flayers, considered freak accidents and pests that must be exterminated.

The necrolithid's opinion of themselves isn't much better; they are bitter towards their cursed existence. That isn't to say that they are suicidal. They will generally seek out others of their own kind and humanoid creatures to enslave, creating nomad groups that wander the dark places of the world, preying on travelers.

Combat
In combat, necrolithids will avoid their adversaries if they can, staying behind their enslaved minions and blasting their foes with dark magic. If forced into melee combat, they will target their most wounded for and tear them apart with their claws.

Poison (SU): When the necrolithid poisons a foe with their claws, the foe must make a DC 17 Fortitude save. If the fail the save, they take 1d6 points of vile damage (Book of Vile Darkness).

Mind Decay (SP): Three times per day, the necrolithid can unleash a 30-foot burst of vile psychic energy as a standard action. Each foe within the aura takes 2d10 psychic damage. In addition, they must make a DC 17 Will save or suffer an addition 2d4 vile damage and 1d2 negative levels.

Withering Blast (SP): As a standard action, the necrolothid can blast of foe with sickly magic. This is a ranged touch attack. If the attack hits, the target suffers 1d2 nagative levels.

Undead Traits (SU):

No Constitution score.
Darkvision out to 60 feet.
Immunity to all mind-affecting effects (charms, compulsions, phantasms, patterns, and morale effects).
Immunity to poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, and death effects.
Not subject to critical hits, nonlethal damage, ability drain, or energy drain. Immune to damage to its physical ability scores (Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution), as well as to fatigue and exhaustion effects.
Cannot heal damage on its own if it has no Intelligence score, although it can be healed. Negative energy (such as an inflict spell) can heal undead creatures. The fast healing special quality works regardless of the creature’s Intelligence score.
Immunity to any effect that requires a Fortitude save (unless the effect also works on objects or is harmless).
Uses its Charisma modifier for Concentration checks.
Not at risk of death from massive damage, but when reduced to 0 hit points or less, it is immediately destroyed.
Not affected by raise dead and reincarnate spells or abilities. Resurrection and true resurrection can affect undead creatures. These spells turn undead creatures back into the living creatures they were before becoming undead.
Proficient with its natural weapons, all simple weapons, and any weapons mentioned in its entry.
Proficient with whatever type of armor (light, medium, or heavy) it is described as wearing, as well as all lighter types. Undead not indicated as wearing armor are not proficient with armor. Undead are proficient with shields if they are proficient with any form of armor.
Undead do not breathe, eat, or sleep.


Damage Reduction (EX): The necrolithid had damage reduction 5/slashing.

Brain Feeding (SU): As a full-round action, the necrolithid can can suck the brain juices out of a nearby corpse. The corpse must be of at least tiny size, must have a brain, and must not have had its brain juices already sucked out. After doing so, the necrolithid regains 2d4 hit points and takes 5 fewer points of damage the next time it is hit by an attack. This effect does not stack. Doing this provokes an attack of opportunity.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore
Arcana DC 18: This horrific fiend is a necrolithid, a wretched undead mind flayer. Necrolithids do not consume brains, but only brain juices.
Arcana DC 23: Necroliths cannot create thralls, and favor arcane over psionic power.



Isn't this just an Alhoon? :smallconfused:

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Isn't this just an Alhoon? :smallconfused:

No, it is not. An alhoon is an illithid that became a lich. A necrolithid is an illithid that became undead during the incubation process and turned into a unique abomination. They are different both statistically and conceptually.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I'm going to do another monster. Any suggestions?

[The Tygre]

Something with a plague mask. Maybe like, a praying mantis in a plague mask. Because plague masks and praying mantises are awesome.

[DeusMortuusEst]

I'm going to do another monster. Any suggestions?

It probably already exists, but some kind of corrupted unicorn, or some other 'pure good' creature that is wickedly twisted?

[Debihuman]

You've made a few mistakes in your Necrolithid stat block. Your Hit Dice doesn't include the bonus hp from Toughness and the letters "hp" are missing. Attack lines should indicate the type of attack (melee, ranged, touch, etc.) Full attacks with natural weapons do NOT get iterative attacks. Squares are not used to describe space and reach. Special Attack and Special Qualities lines should be in alphabetical order. How much DR and type should be noted in the Special Attack line.

Hit Dice: 6d12+3 (42 hp)

Attack: Corrupting claw +5 melee (1d6 + poison)

Full Attack: 2 corrupting claws +5 melee (1d6 + poison)

Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.

Special Attacks: Mind Decay, Poison, Withering Blast

Special Qualities: Brain Feeding, DR 5/slashing, Undead Traits


You also have a few errors in your special abilities. The saving throw (if any) against a supernatural ability is: 10 + ½ the creature’s HD + the creature’s ability modifier (usually Charisma). The saving throw (if any) against a spell-like ability is: 10 + the level of the spell the ability resembles or duplicates + the creature’s Cha modifier. The saving throw (if any) against a psionic-like ability is: 10 + the level of the the ability resembles or duplicates + the creature’s key ability modifier.

Spell-like abilities and Psionic abilities are based on actual spells and psionic powers. Please identify the source in your special abilities because that affects the saving throw DCs. If you are just making stuff up, then perhaps these should all be supernatural abilities based on the creature's HD.


Poison saving throws are Constitution based so your creature's saving throw DC is 13. 10+3+0= 13

Poison (Su): When the necrolithid poisons a foe with its claws, the foe must make a DC 13 Fortitude save or take 1d6 points of vile damage. The save is constitution-based. (Book of Vile Darkness).

What is the area effect of Mind Decay? Is it a radius or cone or some other shape? I'd guess radius but you have to decide. Psionic Blast is cone shaped. The saving throw is off. You need to identify which spell or psionic power this is based on since that affects the DC of the saving throw. You also have to determine which key ability the save is based on. I recommend making this a supernatural ability based on charisma. It is probably a tad overpowered since it causes vile damage and bestows negative levels. Since Withering blast bestows negative levels it doesn't really makes sense for Mind Decay to bestow them as well. I think it overpowers the creature to have 2 abilities that can bestow negative levels. Mind decay sounds like it should bestow Wisdom damage rather than negative levels. Since withering blast bestows the negative level there really isn't a reason for mind decay to do the same.

Mind Decay (Su): Three times per day, the necrolithid can unleash a burst of vile psychic energy in a 30-foot (cone or radius) as a standard action. Each foe within the aura takes 2d10 points of psychic damage. (no save). In addition, each foe must make a DC 12 Will save or suffer an additional 2d4 points of vile damage and 1d2 points of Wisdom damage. The save is charisma-based.

Which spell is the basis for withering blast? If no spell is involved, it should be a Supernatural ability rather than Spell-like. You should note that there is no save for withering blast. Calling something "withering" should cause dessication damage.

Withering Blast (Su): As a standard action, the necrolothid can blast of foe with sickly magic. This is a ranged touch attack. If the attack hits, the target suffers 1d2 negative levels (no save). In addition, each living target must succeed a Fortitude save (DC 12) or take 1d2 points of dessication damage. The save is charisma-based.

I am doubtful that these make appropriate Player Characters as they are subject to turning.

Debby

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

@DeusMortuusEst. Evil corrupted unicorns already exist. However, my next monster will indeed be a twisted version of a good creature.

@Debihuman. Thanks for the feedback. I took most of your suggestions.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Blackwing Mare

Large Fey (Augmented Magical Beast)
Hit Dice: 8d10+16 (58 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares), Fly 100 ft. (Good)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +6 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+18
Attack: Hoof +13 melee (2d6+4)
Full Attack: 2 hooves +13 melee (2d6+4) and bite +8 melee (1d4+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Vile Hooves
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Fey Fury, Lifesense, Life-Sapping Aura, Low-Light Vision
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +8
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 18
Skills: Diplomacy +12, Intimidate +12, Sense Motive +9, Spot +10, Listen +10, Jump +12, Climb +12, Swim +12, Bluff +12
Feats: Ability Focus (Vile Hooves), Flyby Attack, Great Fortitude
Environment: Cold and temperate forests and hills
Organization: Never solitary, usually with 1d4 slave guards or herd (2-20)
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: Half standard
Alignment: Usually neutral evil
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Blackwing mares are vile carnivorous fey resembling towering black horses with glowing green eyes, large bat-like wings, and jagged fangs. They are the result of a herd of pegasi being lured into the Realm of Fairy by the Winter Witch, and then violated by her perverted son. This corruption causes the creatures to lose many of their pegasi abilities but grants them new ones and grants them skills as other Fey creatures to make them more adaptable to the Winter Witch's plans.

These equine creatures enjoy the meat of sentient beings, and often create lairs in valleys where they farm captured humanoid creatures like livestock. They keep these slaves unclothed in cages, breeding them and feeding them to each other. Blackwing mares only leave their lairs occasionally to replenish their stocks.

A typical blackwing mare stands 6 feet high at the shoulder, weighs 1,500 pounds, and has a wingspan of 20 feet. Blackwing mares cannot speak, but they understand Common.

Combat

Blackwing mares never leave themselves unprotected—keeping guards (usually orcs, trolls, or ogres) by their side. Upon being attacked, they will flee, leaving the attackers to deal with these brutes. The mare will watch from a safe vantage point, and if the attackers seem a significant threat, they will swoop in and join the fight. They will flee if reduced to fifteen hit points or fewer.

Fey Fury (Su): While at fewer than half hit points, the blackwing mare gains damage reduction 5/magic and gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to attack rolls, damage dealt by hoof attacks, and saving throws.

Life-Sapping Aura (Su): Whenever a living creature within 30 feet of the blackwing mare regains hit points for any reason, the blackwing mare can divide the regained hit points between the target and itself. The target gains half the hit points it normally would (minimum of 1), and the blackwing mare gains the remainder as temporary hit points.

Lifesense (Su): A blackwing mare senses the strength of life force of living creatures within 30 feet automatically, as if it had cast deathwatch

Vile Hooves (Su): Three times per day, and a full-round action, the blackwing mare can channel vile energy into an attack. They attack with both their hooves +2 racial bonus. If both hooves hit, the target takes an additional 2d4 points of vile damage and suffers 1d2 negative levels (no save). If only one hoof hits, the target only takes 1d2 points of vile damage (no save).

=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore: A successful Knowledge (Arcana or Nature) check reveals the following information.
DC 18: This creature is a blackwing mare, a corrupted version of the pegasus with a taste for sentient flesh.
DC 23: Blackwing mares can channel vile energy through their hooves, delivering wounds that do not heal and sapping life force. Their auras also impede healing magic.

[Debihuman]

I will say this one more time: Natural attacks do not get iterative attacks (the additional attacks based on high BAB). Creatures that attack with natural weapons (claws, bite, talon, slam, etc.) do not get more than one attack with a natural weapon unless they have more than one of each type. This is why you write 2 claws in the full attack line. Natural attacks are not based on the creature's Base Attack but on the number of appendages the creature has. No creature attacks with two claws and makes 4 attacks with them as a full attack. It is always 2 claws each making one attack. Hence, all of your full attack lines are wrong. See Rules on natural weapons here: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/specialAbilities.htm#naturalWeapons

The Full Attack line for your necrolithid is wrong.

Full Attack: 2 Corrupting Claws +5/+0 melee (1d6 + poison)

If these were manufactured weapons, then they would get additional attacks for high BAB.

Critiquing your darkwing mare. I like it a lot. Again, it probably needs a little work as it is overpowered in some ways and underpowered in some ways for its HD and CR.

It does not qualify for Awesome Blow feat. It doesn't have Power Attack feat and Improved Bullrush feat that are both needed to qualify for Awesome Blow feat. Str 25 is also a prerequisite for Awesome Blow. Rather you should swap Ability Focus (Vile Hooves) for Awesome Blow.

If you want to give it a bonus feat, give it Power Attack as a bonus feat.

Vile Hooves is problematic because it should take 2 rounds for the creature to make 2 hoof attacks with each hoof. (It should be spelled "hooves" not "hoofs"). You should note that there is no save and give reduced damage if only one hoof hits. Also, since no spell is used, it is a Supernatural ability not a Spell-like one.

Vile Hooves (Su): Three times per day, as a full-round action, the blackwing mare can channel vile energy into an attack. They attack with both their hooves with +2 racial bonus*. If both hooves hit, the target takes an additional 2d4 points of vile damage and suffers 1d2 negative levels (no save). If only one hoof hits, the target only takes 1d2 points of vile damage (no save).

*Note: the +2 racial bonus is ONLY if you give them ability focus (vile hooves) as the feat instead of awesome blow.

Life-sapping aura is nasty. I would think that the blackmares would need lifesense to use this. Also it it is worded awkwardly. You use "regain" too many times for it to be clear what you mean.

Life-Sapping Aura (Su): Whenever a living creature within 30 feet of the blackwing mare regains hit points for any reason, the blackwing mare can divide the regained hit points between the target and itself. The target gains half the hit points it normally would (minimum of 1), and the blackwing mare gains the remainder as temporary hit points.

Lifesense (Su): A blackwing mare senses the strength of life force of living creatures within 30 feet automatically, as if it had cast deathwatch.

Fey Fury is a bit overpowered for the creature's CR. I'd recommend changing the DR 5/- to DR 5/magic and make all the bonuses +2 for consistency. At this level, the PC wouldn't even have epic weapons. The bonus should be a Circumstance bonus (it's based on being at fewer than half hit points after all).

Fey Fury (Su): While at fewer than half hit points, the blackwing mare gains damage reduction 5/magic, and +2 Circumstance bonus to attack rolls, damage and saving throws.

Since this is a Fey creature, it should have low-light vision as a Special Ability.

Since these are corrupted pegasi, shouldn't they still have the pegasi's spell-like ability to detect good and evil? If not you should mention it somewhere.

Since they have jagged fangs wouldn't they also have a bite attack since a pegasus does? I would add that to the full attack line, especially since you mention it has jagged teeth. 2d10 damage is probably too much for the CR. A normal pegasus does 1d6, 1d8 would be appropriate as it is one step greater.At most they should do 2d6 points of damage, which is two steps greater.

As mentioned earlier, hoof is a natural weapon and does not get additional attacks based on BAB. Large creatures also take a -1 size penalty to attack.

Getting to the stat block now...

Attack: Hoof + 7 melee (2d6+4)

Full Attack: 2 hooves +7 melee (2d6+4) and bite +2 melee (1d4+2)

One of the major changes you could make would be to give it the Augmented Magical Beast Subtype. This way it, you could would keep the HD of the magical beast and the BAB of the magical beast. It is something you may want to consider. You could also give it Darkvision 60 ft. this way.

This is how it would look with the Augmented Magical Beast Subtype


Blackwing Mare
Large Fey (Augmented Magical Beast)
Hit Dice: 8d10+16 (58 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares), Fly 100 ft. (Good)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +6 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+18
Attack: Hoof +11 melee (2d6+4)
Full Attack: 2 hooves +11 melee (2d6+4) and bite +6 melee (1d4+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Vile Hooves
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Fey Fury, Lifesense, Life-Sapping Aura, Low-Light Vision
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +8
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 18
Skills: Diplomacy +12, Intimidate +12, Sense Motive +9, Spot +10, Listen +10, Jump +12, Climb +12, Swim +12, Bluff +12
Feats: Ability Focus (Vile Hooves), Flyby Attack, Great Fortitude
Environment: Cold and temperate forests and hills
Organization: Never solitary, usually with 1d4 slave guards or herd (2-20)
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: Half standard
Alignment: Usually neutral evil
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Blackwing mares are vile carnivorous fey resembling towering black horses with glowing green eyes, large bat-like wings, and jagged fangs. They are the result of a herd of pegasi being lured into the Realm of Fairy by the Winter Witch, and then violated by her perverted son. This corruption causes the creatures to lose many of their pegasi abilities but grants them new ones and grants them skills as other Fey creatures to make them more adaptable to the Winter Witch's plans.

These equine creatures enjoy the meat of sentient beings, and often create lairs in valleys where they farm captured humanoid creatures like livestock. They keep these slaves unclothed in cages, breeding them and feeding them to each other. Blackwing mares only leave their lairs occasionally to replenish their stocks.

A typical blackwing mare stands 6 feet high at the shoulder, weighs 1,500 pounds, and has a wingspan of 20 feet. Blackwing mares cannot speak, but they understand Common.

Combat

Blackwing mares never leave themselves unprotected—keeping guards (usually orcs, trolls, or ogres) by their side. Upon being attacked, they will flee, leaving the attackers to deal with these brutes. The mare will watch from a safe vantage point, and if the attackers seem a significant threat, they will swoop in and join the fight. They will flee if reduced to fifteen hit points or fewer.

Fey Fury (Su): While at fewer than half hit points, the blackwing mare gains damage reduction 5/magic and gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to attack rolls, damage dealt by hoof attacks, and saving throws.

Life-Sapping Aura (Su): Whenever a living creature within 30 feet of the blackwing mare regains hit points for any reason, the blackwing mare can divide the regained hit points between the target and itself. The target gains half the hit points it normally would (minimum of 1), and the blackwing mare gains the remainder as temporary hit points.

Lifesense (Su): A blackwing mare senses the strength of life force of living creatures within 30 feet automatically, as if it had cast deathwatch

Vile Hooves (Su): Three times per day, and a full-round action, the blackwing mare can channel vile energy into an attack. They attack with both their hooves +2 racial bonus. If both hooves hit, the target takes an additional 2d4 points of vile damage and suffers 1d2 negative levels (no save). If only one hoof hits, the target only takes 1d2 points of vile damage (no save).

=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore: A successful Knowledge (Arcana or Nature) check reveals the following information.
DC 18: This creature is a blackwing mare, a corrupted version of the pegasus with a taste for sentient flesh.
DC 23: Blackwing mares can channel vile energy through their hooves, delivering wounds that do not heal and sapping life force. Their auras also impede healing magic.


Let me know what you think.
Debby

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I will say this one more time: Natural attacks do not get iterative attacks (the additional attacks based on high BAB). Creatures that attack with natural weapons (claws, bite, talon, slam, etc.) do not get more than one attack with a natural weapon unless they have more than one of each type. This is why you write 2 claws in the full attack line. Natural attacks are not based on the creature's Base Attack but on the number of appendages the creature has. No creature attacks with two claws and makes 4 attacks with them as a full attack. It is always 2 claws each making one attack. Hence, all of your full attack lines are wrong. See Rules on natural weapons here: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/specialAbilities.htm#naturalWeapons

The Full Attack line for your necrolithid is wrong.

Full Attack: 2 Corrupting Claws +5/+0 melee (1d6 + poison)

If these were manufactured weapons, then they would get additional attacks for high BAB.

Critiquing your darkwing mare. I like it a lot. Again, it probably needs a little work as it is overpowered in some ways and underpowered in some ways for its HD and CR.

It does not qualify for Awesome Blow feat. It doesn't have Power Attack feat and Improved Bullrush feat that are both needed to qualify for Awesome Blow feat. Str 25 is also a prerequisite for Awesome Blow. Rather you should swap Ability Focus (Vile Hooves) for Awesome Blow.

If you want to give it a bonus feat, give it Power Attack as a bonus feat.

Vile Hooves is problematic because it should take 2 rounds for the creature to make 2 hoof attacks with each hoof. (It should be spelled "hooves" not "hoofs"). You should note that there is no save and give reduced damage if only one hoof hits. Also, since no spell is used, it is a Supernatural ability not a Spell-like one.

Vile Hooves (Su): Three times per day, as a full-round action, the blackwing mare can channel vile energy into an attack. They attack with both their hooves with +2 racial bonus*. If both hooves hit, the target takes an additional 2d4 points of vile damage and suffers 1d2 negative levels (no save). If only one hoof hits, the target only takes 1d2 points of vile damage (no save).

*Note: the +2 racial bonus is ONLY if you give them ability focus (vile hooves) as the feat instead of awesome blow.

Life-sapping aura is nasty. I would think that the blackmares would need lifesense to use this. Also it it is worded awkwardly. You use "regain" too many times for it to be clear what you mean.

Life-Sapping Aura (Su): Whenever a living creature within 30 feet of the blackwing mare regains hit points for any reason, the blackwing mare can divide the regained hit points between the target and itself. The target gains half the hit points it normally would (minimum of 1), and the blackwing mare gains the remainder as temporary hit points.

Lifesense (Su): A blackwing mare senses the strength of life force of living creatures within 30 feet automatically, as if it had cast deathwatch.

Fey Fury is a bit overpowered for the creature's CR. I'd recommend changing the DR 5/- to DR 5/magic and make all the bonuses +2 for consistency. At this level, the PC wouldn't even have epic weapons. The bonus should be a Circumstance bonus (it's based on being at fewer than half hit points after all).

Fey Fury (Su): While at fewer than half hit points, the blackwing mare gains damage reduction 5/magic, and +2 Circumstance bonus to attack rolls, damage and saving throws.

Since this is a Fey creature, it should have low-light vision as a Special Ability.

Since these are corrupted pegasi, shouldn't they still have the pegasi's spell-like ability to detect good and evil? If not you should mention it somewhere.

Since they have jagged fangs wouldn't they also have a bite attack since a pegasus does? I would add that to the full attack line, especially since you mention it has jagged teeth. 2d10 damage is probably too much for the CR. A normal pegasus does 1d6, 1d8 would be appropriate as it is one step greater.At most they should do 2d6 points of damage, which is two steps greater.

As mentioned earlier, hoof is a natural weapon and does not get additional attacks based on BAB. Large creatures also take a -1 size penalty to attack.

Getting to the stat block now...

Attack: Hoof + 7 melee (2d6+4)

Full Attack: 2 hooves +7 melee (2d6+4) and bite +2 melee (1d4+2)

One of the major changes you could make would be to give it the Augmented Magical Beast Subtype. This way it, you could would keep the HD of the magical beast and the BAB of the magical beast. It is something you may want to consider. You could also give it Darkvision 60 ft. this way.

This is how it would look with the Augmented Magical Beast Subtype


Blackwing Mare
Large Fey (Augmented Magical Beast)
Hit Dice: 8d10+16 (58 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares), Fly 100 ft. (Good)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +6 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+18
Attack: Hoof +13 melee (2d6+4)
Full Attack: 2 hooves +13 melee (2d6+4) and bite +8 melee (1d4+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Vile Hooves
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Fey Fury, Lifesense, Life-Sapping Aura, Low-Light Vision
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +8
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 18
Skills: Diplomacy +12, Intimidate +12, Sense Motive +9, Spot +10, Listen +10, Jump +12, Climb +12, Swim +12, Bluff +12
Feats: Ability Focus (Vile Hooves), Flyby Attack, Great Fortitude
Environment: Cold and temperate forests and hills
Organization: Never solitary, usually with 1d4 slave guards or herd (2-20)
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: Half standard
Alignment: Usually neutral evil
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Blackwing mares are vile carnivorous fey resembling towering black horses with glowing green eyes, large bat-like wings, and jagged fangs. They are the result of a herd of pegasi being lured into the Realm of Fairy by the Winter Witch, and then violated by her perverted son. This corruption causes the creatures to lose many of their pegasi abilities but grants them new ones and grants them skills as other Fey creatures to make them more adaptable to the Winter Witch's plans.

These equine creatures enjoy the meat of sentient beings, and often create lairs in valleys where they farm captured humanoid creatures like livestock. They keep these slaves unclothed in cages, breeding them and feeding them to each other. Blackwing mares only leave their lairs occasionally to replenish their stocks.

A typical blackwing mare stands 6 feet high at the shoulder, weighs 1,500 pounds, and has a wingspan of 20 feet. Blackwing mares cannot speak, but they understand Common.

Combat

Blackwing mares never leave themselves unprotected—keeping guards (usually orcs, trolls, or ogres) by their side. Upon being attacked, they will flee, leaving the attackers to deal with these brutes. The mare will watch from a safe vantage point, and if the attackers seem a significant threat, they will swoop in and join the fight. They will flee if reduced to fifteen hit points or fewer.

Fey Fury (Su): While at fewer than half hit points, the blackwing mare gains damage reduction 5/magic and gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to attack rolls, damage dealt by hoof attacks, and saving throws.

Life-Sapping Aura (Su): Whenever a living creature within 30 feet of the blackwing mare regains hit points for any reason, the blackwing mare can divide the regained hit points between the target and itself. The target gains half the hit points it normally would (minimum of 1), and the blackwing mare gains the remainder as temporary hit points.

Lifesense (Su): A blackwing mare senses the strength of life force of living creatures within 30 feet automatically, as if it had cast deathwatch

Vile Hooves (Su): Three times per day, and a full-round action, the blackwing mare can channel vile energy into an attack. They attack with both their hooves +2 racial bonus. If both hooves hit, the target takes an additional 2d4 points of vile damage and suffers 1d2 negative levels (no save). If only one hoof hits, the target only takes 1d2 points of vile damage (no save).

=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore: A successful Knowledge (Arcana or Nature) check reveals the following information.
DC 18: This creature is a blackwing mare, a corrupted version of the pegasus with a taste for sentient flesh.
DC 23: Blackwing mares can channel vile energy through their hooves, delivering wounds that do not heal and sapping life force. Their auras also impede healing magic.


Let me know what you think.
Debby

I am awed by your awesome. I shall use your revised state block. You are so epic.

[Debihuman]

I am awed by your awesome. I shall use your revised state block. You are so epic.

Awwww. That's sweet. I just like fixing monsters.

Debby

[Pokonic]

I'm going to do another monster. Any suggestions?

I posted one.:smallwink: Evil fleshwarped abominations with a self-mutilation fixation? Covers half the stuff in that horrible, wonderful book.

[Debihuman]

My blackwing mare redesign had the wrong BAB and so the attack lines were wrong too. Sorry about that. It's fixed now.

Since you were mentioning requests too, how about statting up the Winter Witch and her perverted son from the blackwing mare fluff since you brought it up.

Debby

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Since you were mentioning requests too, how about statting up the Winter Witch and her perverted son from the blackwing mare fluff since you brought it up.

That will take more time and effort, considering how they will both have double-digit CRs, bit I'll give it a shot tomorrow.