Can someone help me? I was born in the 90's

[GoblinGilmartin]

I grew up during the introduction of pokemon into the mainstream. My sister who was a few years older than me listened to nothing but boybands, britney spears and Christina Aguilera. We watched Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Friends and I watched Digimon. Hit Clips were kickass, Saturday mornig cartoons were worth watching instead of the same stuff on at a different time we get nowadays. MY favorite video games are old PC games and anything for the SNES, especially Final Fantasy (the early ones, all of them 7 and onward suck).

Now that I am 18, my identity is that of a Big Lebowski character minus the drugs, I listen to Dave Matthews and Beck, Scott pilgrim vs the world is one of my favorite films of all time. I get really sad and nostalgic whenever i watch old disney classics or digimon.

But i feel really alone. I feel disillusioned, and i feel like everyone around me are idiots with Ipads and Twitter accounts.

What am i to do?:smallfrown:

[Esprit15]

Find that small niche of people who are like you. That's what I did, and it's worked pretty well. Eventually I branched out to a few other people. Yes, most people are idiots in my opinion. I ignore those people.

Find people with similar interests. There are enough anime fans at my school that they've created their own little club. Good luck.

[GoblinGilmartin]

I'm a senior, finding a new niche is easier said then done, and a lot of the otaku in my area are a bit too....eccentric for my tastes.

[The Extinguisher]

I don't like how you associated idiots with Ipads and Twitter accounts.

Honestly, my advice is to stop thinking that just because people don't like the same things you do, that they can't be awesome people to be around. Some of my best friends have completely different hobbies than mine.

[GoblinGilmartin]

I isnt just because of those things that i consider them idiots, those two things just seen to go hand in hand. That isnt just a blind observation.

People who find south park funny and wear t shirts with cartman on them, people who watch Jersey Shore, and anything with the kardashians. Just that whole "i don't feel like thinking, so i'm going to let other people make my decisions" type persona

[arguskos]

I isnt just because of those things that i consider them idiots, those two things just seen to go hand in hand. That isnt just a blind observation.

People who find south park funny and wear t shirts with cartman on them, people who watch Jersey Shore, and anything with the kardashians. Just that whole "i don't feel like thinking, so i'm going to let other people make my decisions" type persona
I am getting a feel, intentional or not (and I highly doubt it is in fact intentional or what you're actually like), of "I dislike something, therefore I am better than it. Please help me feel superior." I really doubt you actually think that or anything, because you seem like an alright dude and whatnot, but just as a warning, that's kinda the vibe you're throwing off right now. Might want to ask just how to find people you can relate to, and leave the odd and vaguely inflammatory speech at home. :smallwink:

As for how to find peeps you can relate to, actually get out there in the world and start something. Be all "imma make a club for stuff I like" and promote it. You're in school still, so that should be fairly easy to make happen. Other folks will come if you promote enough, trust me.

[golentan]

Drop the Gen X style cynicism? Seriously, you're Gen Y! You get to take over the world when the Baby Boomers die off! You're part of the single most educated and tech savvy generation in history! You get to find niche interests in a manner unavailable to previous generations and discuss them with similarly interested people anywhere in the world! Do you have any idea how great it is to live now? When I got here, the height of technology was Spear + Lever arm/Spring = farther flying spear. I had to work for centuries to get people to accept that the infrastructural investment of indoor plumbing was worth it. And then they forgot how to do it and I had to start over.

So the average human being is one of the sharper bulbs in the box, okay. That doesn't mean they can't still be fun, or that you can't find a dozen intelligent ones within a half an hour's bike ride.

[Esprit15]

I would suggest not being so dismissive. While I am certainly not a fan of those things, I don't use them as a judgement to a person's intelligence or personality, unless they give me reason to. Yes, experience has shown that most people who like Jersy Shore and South Park are a bit dimmer, but until they actually demonstrait stupidity, I try not to judge, and even then, it doesn't mean they can't be a good friend. I used to dismiss anyone who wasn't a "Must get A's" student like me, but then I ended up meeting people who were still good friends even if they weren't the brightest or most diligent.

Misanthropy and disillusionment also go hand in hand. I learned this mid-last year, and have been a lot happier since.

[Maxios]

I isnt just because of those things that i consider them idiots, those two things just seen to go hand in hand. That isnt just a blind observation.

People who find south park funny and wear t shirts with cartman on them, people who watch Jersey Shore, and anything with the kardashians. Just that whole "i don't feel like thinking, so i'm going to let other people make my decisions" type persona

...are you trying to imply Jersey Shore is not wholesome family
entertainment for intellectuals?

[Esprit15]

...are you trying to imply Jersey Shore is not wholesome family
entertainment for intellectuals?

I thought that was a given.

[Maxios]

I thought that was a given.

I wasn't being sarcastic. I like it, my brother (who has always gotten straight A's) likes it, my mother likes it, and my father likes it. And I can assure you, we are not moronic people.

[H Birchgrove]

I was born in the 80's. I remember a time when people feared nuclear war and acid rain, there were Soviet submarines in the Baltic Sea spying on us, the Swedish Krona (SEK) got lower value for each day and we had only two (Public Service) TV channels. :smalltongue:

[Reluctance]

The problem isn't being born in the 90s*, so much as the fact that you're 18 and a high school senior. Identity issues are bound to ensue. It doesn't help that everyone is too wrapped up in their own stuff to have a fully developed sense of empathy yet.

Take a deep breath. Realize that everyone else around you is doing the same search for identity too. And as an oldster, I can say to cut them a little slack. Kids nowadays seem more open-minded and more aware than they were back in the day. They're still pretentious little prats, but again, high school.

*Being born in the 90's is a problem, in that you missed how over the top cheesy-awesome the 80's were. That's something to take up with your parents. :smalltongue:

[Dr. Roboto]

I would suggest not being so dismissive. While I am certainly not a fan of those things, I don't use them as a judgement to a person's intelligence or personality, unless they give me reason to. Yes, experience has shown that most people who like Jersy Shore and South Park are a bit dimmer, but until they actually demonstrait stupidity, I try not to judge, and even then, it doesn't mean they can't be a good friend. I used to dismiss anyone who wasn't a "Must get A's" student like me, but then I ended up meeting people who were still good friends even if they weren't the brightest or most diligent.

Misanthropy and disillusionment also go hand in hand. I learned this mid-last year, and have been a lot happier since.

Yeah, I've found that it's much better to accept everyone, no matter how strange or tasteless their interests seem to you. If you look down on people who watch Jersey Shore, you think, "Well, I play D&D. I'm much smarter," while they think, "At least I don't play D&D like those losers." It becomes a battle to push other people down to raise yourself up. Even if you're only pushing them down in your head, it's ultimately self-destructive.

But if you accept that it's okay for them to like the things that they like, you'll be much happier in the long run. In addition, others will be more likely to accept your tastes, which can sometimes be an issue, given the stereotypes about PnP gaming. That's been my personal experience, anyway.

[H Birchgrove]

The fashion sensibilities, the music and the films and TV-series truly made the 80's a great decade.

Now I find myself humming the MacGyver theme...

[golentan]

*Being born in the 90's is a problem, in that you missed how over the top cheesy-awesome the 80's were. That's something to take up with your parents. :smalltongue:

The 80s didn't exist. As far as I'm concerned, there were 10 years or so where the world simply ceased to be for a while because it was too ashamed of what it would have otherwise been doing, and thus we came to the 90s.

Though I will say that while the 90s were pretty good I would also caution against rose colored glasses, MasterGilgamesh. Most everybody remembers ages 3-12 more fondly than it actually deserved. There's a fun daily show clip to that effect: looking it up is left as an exercise to the reader.

[GoblinGilmartin]

I need to stem the argument before it occurs, Jersey shore, while liked my many, is not the source of what i mean, it might not be bad by it's own rights (which i'm sorry to say i highly doubt, but still), it just feeds into the whole system of things that exemplify the "i don't need a personality! I'll just look at these people and follow their lead!" that i feel a lot of people as old as a year younger than me have fallen into. The best skate shoes, the best tech (which i am not against, maybe i just hate Apple)

But you are all probably right in some way.
the mysanthropy and disillusionment are my problem! I love all that angsty alternative rock-youth ****! I want to be able to like people for who they are, and to some extent i do, but they are all so shallow sometimes! I am afraid of groups, not just for the sake of it being a large crowd of people, but because by belonging to these groups, i could lose what i feel makes me me. I live for the separation yet i hate it.....that's my problem, i think.....

[H Birchgrove]

The 80s didn't exist. As far as I'm concerned, there were 10 years or so where the world simply ceased to be for a while because it was too ashamed of what it would have otherwise been doing, and thus we came to the 90s.
Yeah, because Spice Girls, "Macarena" and Aqua were so much better than Madonna, Alphaville and Duran Duran. :smalltongue:


Though I will say that while the 90s were pretty good I would also caution against rose colored glasses, MasterGilgamesh. Most everybody remembers ages 3-12 more fondly than it actually deserved. There's a fun daily show clip to that effect: looking it up is left as an exercise to the reader.
Golentan speaks the truth.

[GoblinGilmartin]

arent you forgetting that D&D hit it's stride in the 80's?

[golentan]

Yeah, because Spice Girls, "Macarena" and Aqua were so much better than Madonna, Alphaville and Duran Duran. :smalltongue:

Well, I like the macarena, and spice girls, while uninspired, derivative and overly marketed never made me want to drive needles through any sensory organ. Which is more than I can say for your 80s selections.

Not defending aqua though. I'm saying I think the best of the 80s was terrible, not that the worst of anything else wasn't.

[GoblinGilmartin]

The Macarena Should Burn!!!!

[Salbazier]

The Macarena Should Burn!!!!

I like Macarena :smalltongue:

[Xyk]

I was born in 1992, and have just finished my first and last semester at college.

I think you will be surprised how mind-opening the first steps out of high school turn out to be. Try to keep your eyes and thoughts clear of prejudice, meaning more than judging based on race. Avoid judging people (like based on their music choices and hobbies) before you get to know them.

[GAThraawn]

It seems to me like you're hating your age group more than anything else. Every older generation complains about the newer one, and every newer generation is usually comprised mostly of those who feel out of place and utterly disconnected from their peers. If you can't stand the personalities, or lack thereof, of kids your age, and that no-one "gets" things the way you do, you might be surprised to find that most of those kids feel exactly the same way.

This is an effect that tends to be exacerbated in high school, as a reletively small population of random teenagers are thrust together to further divide into interest groups, leaving you feeling like you're one of a very small handful of sane people in the world. Once you get the opportunity to explore the wider world, you'll find that there are lots of venues for meeting other people with similar likes and outlooks to your own, and in fact many of them may already be open to you if you go looking for them. Furthermore, you'll probably find some good people in unlikely places if you approach them with an open-minded attitude.

[Mauve Shirt]

Huh. I was born in 89 and I am just as nostalgic for some of the things you're nostalgic for. You'll find that college is all about nostalgia. If your experience is like mine, you'll naturally find people who are similar to you, and you'll watch Disney Films and play old video games and you will enjoy yourself. College is dang awesome.
I have a twitter account and covet an ipad and I am not an idiot, thank you.

[H Birchgrove]

Well, I like the macarena, and spice girls, while uninspired, derivative and overly marketed never made me want to drive needles through any sensory organ. Which is more than I can say for your 80s selections.

Not defending aqua though. I'm saying I think the best of the 80s was terrible, not that the worst of anything else wasn't.

My problem with the 90's is that it took itself so darn seriously, which the 80's to my knowledge never seldom did. Spice Girls is a prime example to that; it was just as silly as any random 80's synth pop band, but pundits talked about it as some serious academic discourse on gender theory.

Not saying I hate the 90's in general, it had great things. In music, for example, very well made music videos.

[Asthix]

First, great thread title. I had no idea what I was getting into when I clicked.

Second, I feel ya, Gil. I am what they call 'old fashioned' so over the last six years I've developed the notion that bookface, I-things and the Twitscape are bad. (primarily for sociological reasons)

Does that make the throngs of people who use them bad? No. However, when I made the comment that I wouldn't be caught dead using bookface I was informed that I was a hipster and thought I was better than others.

It really made me think about how I present my biases to the world and how presenting my negative feelings of a thing through the prism of others actions can directly translate to negative feelings against me.

So, fight the hipster! Strive for the idealogue! That way, you can convince others more readily. :smallsmile:

[Loki_42]

While I don't have much to contribute aside from also being an angsty 90's teen, albeit one who seems a tad better adjusted, I'd like to remind you that South Park debuted in '97 and is easily one of the smartest shows on T.V.

[Ancano]

{{scrubbed}}

[DrK]

I was 15 when ff7 came out ant it was amazing -as was the first tomb raider. You young folk with strange likes of things that people of the time didn't like.

On the subject of Twitter and ipads you should realise how fortunate you are and the power of such technology. When I was in my teens the internet was just beginning and ipads and smart phones were literally science fiction.

You are 18, grow up a few more years, live a little before you start making judgements.

[Scarlet Knight]

It's ok, kid. You're suffering from "normalcy". Be patient and in 5 years you'll be a different human being.

Are people in their teens shallow? Probably; that's what being a kid is about. Now you're 18, time to change. You want to find people who aren't shallow, do something.

In my day , we switched from rock & roll to folk music. :smallsmile:

Surprisingly, that gives you ideas on improving. Help feed the poor, protect the environment, join a political party, fight against injustice. You're young enough to change the world for the better. And while your at it, you'll find friends with like interests worthy of friendship. Or at the very least, be opened to new experiences...

[Arminius]

I grew up during the introduction of pokemon into the mainstream. My sister who was a few years older than me listened to nothing but boybands, britney spears and Christina Aguilera. We watched Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Friends and I watched Digimon. Hit Clips were kickass, Saturday mornig cartoons were worth watching instead of the same stuff on at a different time we get nowadays. MY favorite video games are old PC games and anything for the SNES, especially Final Fantasy (the early ones, all of them 7 and onward suck).

Now that I am 18, my identity is that of a Big Lebowski character minus the drugs, I listen to Dave Matthews and Beck, Scott pilgrim vs the world is one of my favorite films of all time. I get really sad and nostalgic whenever i watch old disney classics or digimon.

But i feel really alone. I feel disillusioned, and i feel like everyone around me are idiots with Ipads and Twitter accounts.

What am i to do?:smallfrown:
Sounds like you are stagnating. You cannot stay in any one time period. To do so will destroy you. You have access to the entire produce of Western civilization(and possibly other civilizations depending on your location and known languages), use this access. Go to a library and read a book you have never read. Watch a movie you have never seen. Learn and master an art or skill or sport you have never known. Humanity has been around for a while. I doubt you can have gone through everything our species has produced and become bored. There are lists of good books and movies everywhere. There are myraid sports and hobbies. Just pick something that seems interesting and go for it. You may have to try several things before you find what you truly love. As you gain a better understanding and become more involved, you will find other people who like similar things and make friendships.

I would also caution against defining yourself by what movies or music you like. Just because you are born in or grew up around things from X decade does not mean you have to like things popular in that decade exclusively. I was born in 1989 and yet have little in common with others my age due to the circumstances of my childhood. My tastes are rather eclectic, and range from classical music to Lady Gaga. You are not supposed to like anything. Just look around with an open mind and consider what you like, not what anyone thinks you should like. It reminds me of the comments in youtube videos of songs from the 60's, that generally go to the effect of "I am only 12 and I love this song.". Every time I see those I tend to think, "so what"? Like what you like, because you like it, not because you feel you should. If that ends up being the Big Lebowski and Dave Matthews, good for you. Just don't put down other people for liking other things.

Another thing to be wary of is viewing the past with rose tinted glasses. My parents were hard core right-wing conservatives(still are in fact), and from a young age I was told the world was going to hell in a handbasket and everything was better when they were kids. There may be some truth to it. But on the other hand, I can look back into the history books and see that some pretty scary and disturbing stuff was also going on then. Same thing with my grandparents' generation, and so on. A given point in the past is not necessarily better than any other given point in time, be it the present or some other point in the past. Maybe the world is going to hell in a handbasket. But is it really any worse than the Cold War, WWII, WWI, the scramble for Africa, or the 30 years war just to name a few? I think the present just sucks no matter when it is. Older people like to blame it on degenerate younguns, but I don't think that is quite accurate. If you look at the history books, it seems like every generation has some kind of rubbish they have to deal with. If most people are stupid, you won't change them by worrying about it and feeling superior. Focus on improving yourself, as you are the only person who's actions you can control. They will have to think for themselves.

Feel free to take this post with a massive rock(not a grain) of salt too. I am only 22 and very far from some wise man dispensing wisdom. I have made an impressive number of mistakes in my short time on earth, and I will probably make an equally impressive number more before I die.

[littlekKID]

The Macarena Should Burn!!!!

When I was a little girl , I had a Bird-toy that played the Macarena :smallsmile:

[GoblinGilmartin]

well great, now i can't wait for college, if i even get in at all. I'm hoping to go to the Art Institute or something...i want to be a director.

I've tried to start a gaming club last year, it only had like...7 regular members, and this year, the club got cancelled cuz our supervisor had to quit and no one else would take us up on it...now I'm off to go play FF4

[Rattine]

Hit Clips! YES! You're the only one I know that actually remembers those! And as for your sig, I think I'm in love with you. That is all.

[The Extinguisher]

I need to stem the argument before it occurs, Jersey shore, while liked my many, is not the source of what i mean, it might not be bad by it's own rights (which i'm sorry to say i highly doubt, but still), it just feeds into the whole system of things that exemplify the "i don't need a personality! I'll just look at these people and follow their lead!" that i feel a lot of people as old as a year younger than me have fallen into. The best skate shoes, the best tech (which i am not against, maybe i just hate Apple)


Trust me on this. This isn't something exclusive to our generation at all.

[CrimsonAngel]

As a late 90's kid, I feel generally the same way. I deal with it by subtly poking fun at the people around me and keeping a close circle of friends who I can rely on. If things get bad enough I have a friend who I can vent to and then he makes me laugh and forget about my problem.

Being incredibly sarcastic also helps me cope with thinking people are idiots.

[Weezer]

To repeat what others have said, you seem to be going through the classic late teen 'I don't know who I am and I don't fit in' existential crisis. That's natural and fine and will most likely pass. Just make sure you experience things, and search for those who make you feel like 'you', don't hide away from the world and feel sorry for yourself. That's the route I took and it led to depression (which I'm still dealing with), drinking for entirely the wrong reasons (though I guess one good thing came out of that, I now have excellent taste in alcohol) and self-harm (again, still dealing with it). Yes, I certainly took it to the extreme and most people won't be as unhealthy about it as I was, but regardless of that fact be sure not to spend your time scorning others for a lack of intelligence and a focus on conformity, instead seek out those who you can connect with, those who are willing to engage you through both your interests and your intellect.

Also, what you described has nothing to do with being born in the 90s, all generations have this. Many (if not most) people are average, that's kind of what makes the average the average. But that doesn't mean people outside that area don't exist.

[Yora]

Now that I am 18

Here's your problem! :smallbiggrin:

When you get older, you notice that age no longer matters. As long as people are at least 21 or older.

The most funny part is "you don't have to become like your partents". All your life that was the only model for adulthood you knew, but once you get there the world of 20 somethings is a very different one than it was 25 or 30 years ago.

[GoblinGilmartin]

damn, you guys have given me a lot to think about. Thank you.

[Serpentine]

Yeah, because Spice Girls, "Macarena" and Aqua were so much better than Madonna, Alphaville and Duran Duran. :smalltongue:Hey, Aqua are the bomb :smalltongue:
Spice Girls is a prime example to that; it was just as silly as any random 80's synth pop band, but pundits talked about it as some serious academic discourse on gender theory.The only non-white one was "Scary". Just puttin' that out there.

Re. OP: Soooo... your problem is... you're a teenager?
I don't want to blow your mind, but everyone who is 20 or older has been a teenager at some point in their lives. It's okay, we all get over it eventually.

[GoblinGilmartin]

Re. OP: Soooo... your problem is... you're a teenager?
I don't want to blow your mind, but everyone who is 20 or older has been a teenager at some point in their lives. It's okay, we all get over it eventually.

wait, you mean it's curable!?! Sweet!

[GAThraawn]

wait, you mean it's curable!?! Sweet!

Take two asprin and call me in two years if these feelings persist.

[GoblinGilmartin]

will do doc!

[Mina Kobold]

It's already been said, but finding people who you want to spend time with and trying new things is a good way to get out of existentialistic depression.
As is knowing that it most likely is just temporal and part of the natural development, which is actually supported by a lot of the developmental theories you'd learn in Psychology over here (and Existental Psychology). :smallsmile:

I have no life experience to advice from as I am personally born in the nineties*, have different interests than many of my peers, few people I regularly talk to offline and still have a year of Gymnasium (High School/College/Something-Akin-To-That) left.

On the other hand, I have an iPhone, like both Beethoven, sixties music, video games from the entire history of them, Ponies, have plenty of people to talk to sleep online and is almost Pinkie Pie happy.

So don't worry, keep looking and keep hope up! You won't lose yourself in the groups if you stay true to what you are and you will most definitively find plenty of like-minded ones out there. :smallsmile:


*Well, one of them. Do you mean 1990ies or 1890ies? :smalltongue:

[super dark33]

All advice that I, a 1996 born, can give you is this:

Find a circle of nice d00ds, get yourself reputation of somone they can like or remember.
after a while, start a conversation:
Remember all these Tv shows we watched as kids?

and the discussean can wander to many places, but your part of the brain that holds emotion will settle.

I already know who will be my friends after i finish high school: The 2015 Piloting course of the Israeli Air Force :smallamused:.