Building Brolems (PF)

[Angry Bob]

I'm planning a quite tongue-in-cheek game, and one of the creatures the players might encounter is this pun-based construct. They're kind of like regular golems, but douchier and more social.

What special abilities would you recommend for a brolem to distinguish it from a regular golem, in the form of a template? I am personally drawing a blank, other than making it non-mindless and letting it speak("The creature speaks! Will save vs. bro!").

What personality quirks would you recommend beyond taking infinite shots(no constitution to ruin) and playing altogether too much Halo?

Or is it just too early in the morning for me to be pitching homebrew ideas?

[BobVosh]

It needs a spray on tan. Possibly make that a breath weapon as well.

[Gotterdammerung]

It needs a spray on tan. Possibly make that a breath weapon as well.

Funny, reflex saves or you turn 3 shades more orange. lol



You could give them

Trendy: The Brolem has the ability to turn any object into the "next big thing."

[Urpriest]

Skate at will as the Psionic Power.

Inebriating Breath as Elysian Dragon.

Some sort of sonic attack representing incredibly douchey music.

[Bhaakon]

Belches forth a cloud of intoxicating gas every 1d4+1 rounds (fort save or sickened on first failed save, staggered on second, unconscious third). Cloud is flammable, dealing 2d6 fire damage (ref half) if there's an open flame in the AoE. This exhalations occur whether Brolem is in combat or not.

Anyone attempting to communicate with Brolem must make a will save or become confused (as spell) for 1 round, and nothing of value is learned in any event. Those who hear Brolem speak, but do not attempt to understand what it is saying get a bonus to their save.

On successful attack, Brolem deals 1d6 electricity damage in addition to its physical damage (don't taze me, bro!).

Brolem can fire projectiles from its arms (as a pistol), accompanied by same variation of the phrase "welcome to the gun show, bro!" while kissing its biceps.

Brolem can not refuse a challenge to a drinking contest. Unfortunately, it can imbibe an unlimited amount of alcohol. The PCs' only chance is to engage it in a drinking game of skill, like beer pong or flip cup, as Brolem's hulking build makes it ill-suited for dexterous pursuits.

[Lonely Tylenol]

Charisma-based checks to turn a brolem to your will get a +5 circumstance bonus if you brofist first.