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Vultawk
2012-01-03, 01:59 AM
Not dwarf jokes, no jabs at height or beard gags, but jokes that dwarves would come up with and find hilarious. I want to add in a dwarven NPC to an upcoming game who'll have the worst taste in jokes because they only make sense to dwarves and he over explains them.

I've only come up with one so far:

"Why do human wizards grow beards? Because studying magic takes commitment, determination and hard work!" *he busts a gut laughing* "Because, like beards, commitment to a task, determination and hard work are all very dwarven traits!" *continues laughing while everyone else goes :smallconfused:*

Any help would be much appreciated.

Alleran
2012-01-03, 02:22 AM
I'm a bit short of jokes like what you're asking for, unfortunately.

The-Mage-King
2012-01-03, 02:57 AM
Two humans and an elf walk into a bar.

The dwarf walks under it.

Vitruviansquid
2012-01-03, 03:00 AM
"Have you noticed how dwarfs under the Old Mountain swing their pickaxes like this..."

*pantomimes pickaxe swinging motion*

"... while us dwarfs under the Seven Hills swing their pickaxes like this"

*exact same pantomime, done with studied precision*

*raucous laughter and applause from dwarfs in the audience.*

Lord Tyger
2012-01-03, 03:07 AM
Q: How many dwarves does it take to replace a lantern?
A: One, he's got an axe, and he's level with your groin, so you best not have been thinking of anything clever.

tribble
2012-01-03, 04:44 AM
You could also have them mocking the elves.
(spoilered for weiner joke.)
"Didja hear about the elf tha' walked intae a pole wiv' a hard-on? 'E broke 'is nose!

Socratov
2012-01-03, 05:39 AM
"is that a short joke?"

"dwarf rolling down the hill: badum-tish"

"Dwarves are not overweight, they are undertall"

"what is scarier than a dwarf? A dwarf with his axe"

Lucid
2012-01-03, 11:58 AM
An elf walks into a tavern, bets 500gp no one can drink 10 dwarven ales in a row.
The tavern patrons fall silent, one dwarf even gets up and leaves.
Half an hour later he comes back and asks the elf: "Does yer offer still stand?"
"Aye", says the elf and orders the drinks. Sure enough, the dwarf downs them all in rapid succession, not wasting a single drop.
Afterwards the elf pays him and says: "My congratulations, but you do have to tell me, why did you leave at first?"
"Well", the dwarf says, "I went to the inn across th' street, had to see if I could do it first."



Other jokes:
"An elf walks into a bar."

jackattack
2012-01-03, 05:21 PM
Tell "blond" jokes, substituting "elf" for "blond".

Tell "Chuck Norris" jokes, substituting "dwarf" for "Chuck Norris".

-----

Why don't elves/humans/halflings/gnomes date dwarves?

Because dwarves are too deep for them.

-----

Why are dwarves always so sensible and reliable?

Because they're so down to earth.

-----

Why can't elves/humans/halflings/gnomes find the Underhalls?

Because an elf/human/halfling/gnome can't tell his horse from a hole in the ground.

Daer
2012-01-03, 05:39 PM
dwarf shouts to orc army "one dwarf beats 10 orcs!" Angry from this orc warlord sends 10 orcs to kill the dwarf. After battle is over dwarf returns to shout "one dwarf beats 50 orcs!" Even angrier the warlord sends 50 orcs to kill the dwarf but again none return except dwarf who shouts. "one dwarf beats 100 orcs!" And again warlord sends more orcs after dwarf. This time one wounded orc returns telling. "It was an ambush.. there were two of them!"

or something like that

Notreallyhere77
2012-01-03, 05:52 PM
Other jokes:
"An elf walks into a bar."

I lol'd on this one.
@Daer: I am so stealing that joke for my own campaign.

horseboy
2012-01-03, 06:43 PM
I imagine it's rather dry and somewhat snide (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbeVmFiHi-I) humor when sober (ie working) then it get's really slapstick (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMqu5HkGRfY)when they're drinking and anything is funny.

Cerlis
2012-01-03, 06:49 PM
Why Is it a mistake for the baker to trust the goldsmith? Because he's always Pie-right


(thats a Fool's Gold joke, son)

Crossblade
2012-01-03, 07:20 PM
Going to quote the classics because I can.


Gimli: It's true you don't see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for dwarf men.
Aragorn: [whispering] It's the beards.
Gimli: And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no dwarf women, and that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!

--
Legolas: They have feelings, my friend. The elves began it, waking up the trees, teaching them to speak.
Gimli: Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about, hmm... except the consistency of squirrel droppings?

--
Velanna: Why do your people revere the stone so much?
Oghren: It's because we come from the Stone. When we come out of our mothers, we're small, round rocks. Pink-streaked rocks are girls, and gray ones are boys. The rocks must be dipped in lava for a few moments each day to keep warm. Every year, a few unlucky parents drop the rock into the lava and can't get it out. Very sad. But do it right, and in a few weeks, the rock cracks open, revealing a bouncing dwarven baby.
Velanna: Like...an egg? That can't be right.
Oghren: Are you questioning dwarven nature and tradition? I'm insulted.

eulmanis12
2012-01-04, 10:16 AM
why don't dwarves grow as tall as men and elves?
Our awesome weighs us down.

Me granpappy drowned in a vat of ale
course he had ta climb out three times ta use tha latrene

jackattack
2012-01-04, 10:27 AM
Personally, I never trust anyone who isn't at least half as wide as he is tall. After all, stout of build is stout of heart!

Wizards, elves, scholars, sages... If you've ever read a book that's thicker than your own bicep, then you haven't been paying proper attention to your biceps!

Humans and elves and their swords... They try to make up for their skinny arms with "more reach", and for their tiny shoulders with "more edge". But any orc can tell you that a sword is, overall, an inferior weapon. Just axe one!

Humans say that a dwarf's beard is a reflection of his strength. Gnomes say that a dwarf's beard is an outward sign of his courage. Elves say that a dwarf's beard is a manifestation of his pride. But we all know better, don't we? A dwarf's beard is a sign of his modesty. After all, a dwarf with a proper beard can walk around without any pants on, and you'd never know it unless he turned his backside to you!

Rorrik
2012-01-04, 12:25 PM
Why Is it a mistake for the baker to trust the goldsmith? Because he's always Pie-right

(thats a Fool's Gold joke, son)
This sounds like just what we're looking for.

Personally, I never trust anyone who isn't at least half as wide as he is tall. After all, stout of build is stout of heart!

Wizards, elves, scholars, sages... If you've ever read a book that's thicker than your own bicep, then you haven't been paying proper attention to your biceps!

Humans and elves and their swords... They try to make up for their skinny arms with "more reach", and for their tiny shoulders with "more edge". But any orc can tell you that a sword is, overall, an inferior weapon. Just axe one!

Humans say that a dwarf's beard is a reflection of his strength. Gnomes say that a dwarf's beard is an outward sign of his courage. Elves say that a dwarf's beard is a manifestation of his pride. But we all know better, don't we? A dwarf's beard is a sign of his modesty. After all, a dwarf with a proper beard can walk around without any pants on, and you'd never know it unless he turned his backside to you!
And these are amazing.

Why don't pixies visit the great halls? They feel dwarfed by our grandness. (or grandeza, I'm picturing a dwarf with an extreme Spanish accent.)

I like a woman like a good great axe, as dangerous from the back as from the front.

Strormer
2012-01-04, 01:38 PM
To the ladies of the tavern (spoilered for naughty):
Dwarves are like potatoes, we fill you up right.

Altair_the_Vexed
2012-01-04, 05:45 PM
The Unwise Miner
There once was a rigorously pious and inflexible miner, who despite his strict observances was not wise. Daily he consulted the Priesthood before starting work concerning all signs beneficial or unfortunate.
One day, while he was overseeing the new works in his mine, the roof joists gave way, collapsed and fell on top of him. He cried out, "Help!" His underlings came over to have a look and said, "Be patient, Master. Let's ask the Priests if it is a good omen to dig here today."

The Mean Gold Smith
There was a gold smith who was deliberately hard on his apprentice. He gave him a bottle and said, "Buy me a bottle of beer."
The apprentice asked, "How can I buy you beer with no money at all?"
The gold smith said, "Anyone can buy beer with money. It takes real skill to buy beer without money."
After a while the apprentice returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to the gold smith and said, "Enjoy the beer, please."
Staring at the empty bottle, the gold smith asked, "There is no beer, how can I enjoy this?"
The apprentice said, "Anyone can enjoy beer if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy beer when there is none."

The Grand General
There was a Grand General who loved his children. One day he came home from campaigning and saw his son kneeling on the snow covered ground without a coat on outside the halls.
Having asked his son the reasons for such behaviour, he discovered that his own mother was punishing her grandson for a wrong-doing. He then took off his own coat, and knelt down on the snow covered ground beside his son.
His mother hearing about this went to ask him what the matter was.
"You're making my son suffer and catch cold. So now I'll make your son suffer and catch cold, too!" said the Grand General.

These are ancient Chinese jokes, tweaked to be more dwarvish - I picked them because they're sort of funny, but a bit unusual to our modern, anglophone tastes.
(I'm thinking that amongst themselves, dwarves wouldn't call each other "dwarves" - any more than I call my boss "human".)

Medic!
2012-01-04, 05:56 PM
One that crops up in (literally) every campaign we do is from the Dungeons and Dragons movie (pause for groans).

"C'mon lad, ye gotta get ye a DWARVEN woman! One with a BEARD! Somethin you can *hold* *on* *to*" (with vulger hand gestures for empashis)

Razanir
2012-01-04, 06:08 PM
Tell "blond" jokes, substituting "elf" for "blond".

Aye, so a dwarf, a gnome and an elf all die and go to the Beastlands. Now apparently, Ehlonna had decided it was getting too full, so she made a game where you have to climb up a flight of 50 stairs and on each step hear a joke. If you ever laugh, you get sent to Gehenna instead.

So they all went up the stairs. The dwarf laughed on the 20th step and the gnome laughed on the 30th. The elf, as shocking as it may seem, managed to get all the way up. Before they were sent away, the dwarf asked the elf what kind of arcane magic he be using to cheat on this game. The elf simply replied, "Oh, that was the first joke I got."

theflyingkitty
2012-01-04, 09:09 PM
Somewhere online I saw a role-able list of dwarven insults

OracleofWuffing
2012-01-04, 09:14 PM
There once was a dwarf that did not drink alcohol.

DarkEricDraven
2012-01-04, 10:02 PM
"Humans drink. Elves sip. Dwarves consume."

An elf walks into a tavern, bets 500gp no one can drink 10 dwarven ales in a row.
The tavern patrons fall silent, one dwarf even gets up and leaves.
Half an hour later he comes back and asks the elf: "Does yer offer still stand?"
"Aye", says the elf and orders the drinks. Sure enough, the dwarf downs them all in rapid succession, not wasting a single drop.
Afterwards the elf pays him and says: "My congratulations, but you do have to tell me, why did you leave at first?"
"Well", the dwarf says, "I went to the inn across th' street, had to see if I could do it first."


Hahahaha! That's awesome, I'm so telling that one to my group.

Rockphed
2012-01-04, 11:03 PM
"Humans drink. Elves sip. Dwarves consume.


Hahahaha! That's awesome, I'm so telling that one to my group.

Quaff. Dwarves quaff their alcohol in whatever form they can find it.

I imagine lots of rock puns would be very dwarfish. Gneiss of you to drop in.

Egiam
2012-01-04, 11:30 PM
Somewhere online I saw a role-able list of dwarven insults

http://dwarvenconspiracy.com/insult.asp *bows*

Lifeson
2012-01-05, 01:16 PM
First, insinuate that dwarven women are anvils (Because Dwarves spend more time in the forge than in bed, or something of the like.), then accuse of wife abuse. Hilarity ensues.

Funkyodor
2012-01-05, 01:28 PM
How about, "Meh second cousin Brunhild said she'd never marry a man unless his beard was longer than her hair, and she had locks that reached the ground. So one night my good friend chopped 'em off and now he's in the family! Hah hah hah!"

Lord Tyger
2012-01-05, 01:41 PM
These are ancient Chinese jokes, tweaked to be more dwarvish - I picked them because they're sort of funny, but a bit unusual to our modern, anglophone tastes.
(I'm thinking that amongst themselves, dwarves wouldn't call each other "dwarves" - any more than I call my boss "human".)

Well, we don't say "human," because there's really nothing to compare it to. If anything, I would imagine races in DND to be somewhat closer to race IRL, in terms of conciousness of race.

Rorrik
2012-01-06, 01:00 PM
The foreman went to one of his miners after an accident, the injured miner said, 'my leg, arm, head really hurt when I touch them.'
The foreman started feeling the miner's leg, arm and head, 'Does this hurt? or this? or this hurt?'
'No' the miner said.

Foreman, 'You fool! You've broken your fingers.'


When I was a wee dwarfling, there was a tall dwarf in the tavern o's head was covered in scars and he wasn't a pretty sight. A young dwarfling began sniggering and pointed the dwarf out to his mates.

A big burly miner jumped up and grabbed the young dwarfling. "Never, never, make fun of that dwarf. He's a hero, there was a big fall in the deep mines and he stood with a wooden bar on his head for 6 hours holding the roof up while his fellows were rescued. That's why he bears those terrible scars."

"Am sorry mate, a didn't na", said the young dwarfling, "He is a hero. But, how did he get that cauliflower ear?"

"Aw well, that happened when he was hammered into position."

Ivellius
2012-01-06, 01:31 PM
The foreman went to one of his miners after an accident, the injured miner said, 'my leg, arm, head really hurt when I touch them.'
The foreman started feeling the miner's leg, arm and head, 'Does this hurt? or this? or this hurt?'
'No' the miner said.

Foreman, 'You fool! You've broken your fingers.'

I happen to think this would work excellently if the injured miner was an elf or human.

Telonius
2012-01-06, 02:01 PM
Deadpan insult, designed to seem non-insulting to non-dwarves: "You're as sharp as an elvish blade."

Two dwarflings, Glinna and Cinna, decided to have a brewing contest. They each got their own brewery, and the brewmaster went into inspect both of them. He took a great swig of Glinna's brew, and declared him the winner. Cinna put an axe to his neck and demanded to know how he could declare a winner without even sampling her own brew. "What kind of a fool do you take me for?" he answered. "Anyone knows it's poison to drink a brew made o' Cinna's bar!"

Shyftir
2012-01-06, 03:56 PM
There once was an elf from nantucket...

nooblade
2012-01-06, 04:16 PM
The ADOM forums have some pretty dwarvish jokes due to Dwarftown being the only major spot of civilization in that game.

Long linky. (http://www.adom.de/forums/showthread.php/10134-Dwarf-Merchant-Paint-Picture.?p=51000#post51000)

That was probably the best example. However, the rest of the jokes are likely dwarfy in humor. My favorite is the one about the Ratling Fencer and the Artifact axe, Executor!

Krazzman
2012-01-07, 10:31 AM
Deadpan insult, designed to seem non-insulting to non-dwarves: "You're as sharp as an elvish blade."

Two dwarflings, Glinna and Cinna, decided to have a brewing contest. They each got their own brewery, and the brewmaster went into inspect both of them. He took a great swig of Glinna's brew, and declared him the winner. Cinna put an axe to his neck and demanded to know how he could declare a winner without even sampling her own brew. "What kind of a fool do you take me for?" he answered. "Anyone knows it's poison to drink a brew made o' Cinna's bar!"

I seem to not getting this one...? Would someone be so nice to explain it for me?

Maquise
2012-01-07, 10:34 AM
Cinnabar is a poison; specifically, it is a common ore form of mercury. At least, that's how I understood it.

Reaper_Monkey
2012-01-07, 05:51 PM
Human: "Say dwarf, tell us a joke, the elf has shared jokes from his great forested homelands, the orc has demonstrated that much of orc humour is carried out with a hammer... and I'm sure the halfling would have shared his races jokes if he didn't end up being the punchline to the orcs joke... so share with us the jokes of your mountainous homelands!"

Dwarf: "Well, truth be told, your jokes are a little short and lacking. You see dwarven jokes are made like swords, with multiple refolding to sharpen the wit to a keen edge. They take time to tell, even a simple proper dwarven joke takes about two and a half days to tell. And those are often crude puns or other childish humour. A real dwarven joke takes at least a month to tell, but causes rapturous laugher to echo through the many great halls for weeks after! In fact I know a right cracker which will have your sides splitting for at least a year!!" *Takes a deep breath* "The misty peaks--"

Human: *Interrupting* "-Actually, err, maybe we should just get some sleep, its late after all"

Altair_the_Vexed
2012-01-07, 07:25 PM
Well, we don't say "human," because there's really nothing to compare it to. If anything, I would imagine races in DND to be somewhat closer to race IRL, in terms of conciousness of race.
Ah, but my point is more that I wouldn't bother to call myself a dwarf if I were one - I'd call that guy an elf, and her over there a halfling, but me and my dwarf mates? We're people.

By the way - I notice that most of the jokes in the thread so far are fairly straight-forwardly funny.
I thought we were trying to make bad jokes that "only make sense to dwarves", which the NPC in question needs to explain at length... (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=12467491&postcount=1)

Rorrik
2012-01-07, 07:31 PM
Ah, but my point is more that I wouldn't bother to call myself a dwarf if I were one - I'd call that guy an elf, and her over there a halfling, but me and my dwarf mates? We're people.

By the way - I notice that most of the jokes in the thread so far are fairly straight-forwardly funny.
I thought we were trying to make bad jokes that "only make sense to dwarves", which the NPC in question needs to explain at length... (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=12467491&postcount=1)

Agreed, but being all of us human (for those non-humans among us, excuse the assumption) we're having trouble coming up with anything very clever.

Cirrylius
2012-01-07, 07:39 PM
Elf (to Dwarven comedian): What's red, white, hairy, and lies in a ditch?
Dwarf: ?
Elf:A Dwarf who told one too many Elf jokes.

I'm not sure that ports properly, but what the hell, I gave it a shot.

jackattack
2012-01-08, 02:51 PM
On the topic of whether dwarves would refer to themselves as dwarves or just people.

1. If you look at tribal languages, I think that every one had a word for "humans" or "people", but once they met people of a different race they coined a new word or phrase to differentiate the newcomers. The dwarves word for "people" is very likely "dwarf".

2. If you've watched comedy night on "Showtime at the Apollo" or similar shows, or comedians who use ethnic humor to highlight differences or similarities between races, comedians do use various racial identifiers to distinguish between races. I'm not talking about racist humor, just humor that draws upon multiple ethnicities to make a joke.

-----

On the topic of making up jokes that only dwarves would get.

How would we know what kind of jokes only dwarves would get? We're not dwarves. If their humor is unique due to different life experiences, philosophical outlook, etc., then we won't get the jokes, and hove no basis to make them up.

This is practically identical to any kind of regional or inside joke. You either have to belong to the group, or you had to be there. I used to be able to reduce one of my friends to helpless giggles just by saying "walnuts." Why? You had to be there.

Now, you could sit at the table and spout non-sequiturs, or pre-arrange a few phrases with other players, but that can be tricky and it excludes other people at the table. And a lengthy explanation is likely to make this a one or two shot character bit at most, as other players may not want to spend the time to listen when there is no humorous pay-off for them. After all, if you have to explain the joke, there is no joke.

Or, you could try to come up with jokes that anybody can get, but are jokes that dwarves might tell. And I think that's what we've ended up doing here.

I hope the OP has found some material in the thread that he can work into something useful.

The Durvin
2012-01-09, 10:44 PM
What about a folklore-based version of tvtropes' "Noodle Incident": the dwarves have all these in-jokes relating to some old song or poem, kind of like a dwarven equivalent of "All Your Base", where the dwarves all know it and couldn't explain the jokes if they wanted to. For example:

The elven tavern-master shot them a glance askew. "Master Dwarf," he tolled like an ancient church-bell, "please remove your boots if you must stand on the table."
"Remove my boots?!" the lead dwarf roared. "What is this, the Narrow Hall of Ghelgrrguul?!" His compatriots laughed a salvo of guttural guffaws.
"Easy, Jrganuudr," snickered his lackey, wiggling his thick fingers through his beard. "I think all his ingots are oaken!" The rest of the crew laughed again as the leader danced a short jig.
"Oop--watch yourself, Master Elf!" he snapped to the tavern-keeper through pursed lips. "Mrifkr's beard's gone all surly!"

(The last one, I admit, was from "The Eye of Argon", which if you'd rather use something pre-existing than making something up, would fit perfectly. World's worst fantasy novel.)

banthesun
2012-01-09, 11:37 PM
The foreman went to one of his miners after an accident, the injured miner said, 'my leg, arm, head really hurt when I touch them.'
The foreman started feeling the miner's leg, arm and head, 'Does this hurt? or this? or this hurt?'
'No' the miner said.

Foreman, 'THEN GET BACK TO WORK YOU PANSEY!'

Fixed it to be a non-joke, in case that's what the thread's about :smallwink:

Riverdance
2012-01-10, 05:08 PM
A dwarf walks out of a bar.

Cirrylius
2012-01-10, 08:29 PM
A dwarf walks out of a bar.
Haa. I see wut u did thar.:smallbiggrin:

Lifeson
2012-01-10, 08:51 PM
Urist wiped his brow and began to mine again. The rock chipped and shattered as the dorfs muscles worked. Slowly, yet surely the stone began to give up its bounty even as the legendary miner was covered in gravel and dust and sweat.

He worked hard and harder as the stone yielded more and more of its bounty, glistening gems, rare alloy, and finally it happened. A glorious surge, one more stroke and the stone gave Urist its ultimate treasure.

As the great glittering dust covered urists face and beard he cried out. "PRAISE THE MINERS WE HAVE STRUCK ADAMANTINE!"


...oh, we were talking about dwarven jokes not pornos. :smallwink:

SlyGuyMcFly
2012-01-11, 07:39 AM
What about a folklore-based version of tvtropes' "Noodle Incident": the dwarves have all these in-jokes relating to some old song or poem, kind of like a dwarven equivalent of "All Your Base", where the dwarves all know it and couldn't explain the jokes if they wanted to.

This would actually make perfect sense, considering Dwarves usually have the whole 'long memories and love of tradition' thing going.

QuidEst
2012-01-11, 08:52 PM
If you'd like to avoid the confusion of dwarves referring to one another as dwarves, you could make it traditional to always refer to an individual by their clan and/or profession, even if it isn't "important". Jokes would have just pick one at random, possibly with a "although I cannot recall for certain" or something like that thrown in. The jokes might also have stock characters, like Brer Rabbit stories do, or use a standard opening. That lets you set their culture apart without hurting the humor.

In advance, I'm sorry to do /another/ elf joke. I really don't think that's what most of their jokes would be about, but it's what comes to mind.

"I heard from my cousin, who is a most honest and wealthy seller of pyrite, the tale of an elven fighter. He was strong and proud, and truth be told, wished to win the favor of a woman. He thought to himself what feat he could undertake to show himself worthy. He decided that he should challenge a dwarf to a drinking contest, and wishing to give himself the best odds, found a small, studious mage. I believe he was a Doulmunner, but my memory is not what it once was…"
I don't have enough time to write the whole thing out in this style, but the elf passes out very shortly from the strong dwarven beer (optional: the mage finishes it off). The mage gets an idea, cuts off most of the elf's hair and glues it onto his chin. When the elf wakes up, the mage convinces him that he'd had too much dwarven beer and was turing into a dwarf now. The elf panics, and asks if there's anything he can do, but is told that the only thing for it is to keep drinking dwarf beer for a few months until the change is complete. With the elf passed out, the dwarf mage shrinks him down permanently. The joke proceeds to tell how the elf gradually adapted to his new life, learning the culture and language, but his beard was always straggly and never grew any longer. It finishes by saying that you can still meet the elf-dwarf if you wish to, and implies that it is some unpopular political figure, somebody from a rival clan, or, if a brawl is in order, the listener's father. The joke also works well with a humans, who are probably stereotyped as being foolish or stupid by dwarves.

Dwarf jokes seem like they would mostly be long, humorous tall tales. In this case, it's set up as a joke because somebody who sells pyrite can be honest or wealthy, but not both.

huttj509
2012-01-11, 09:26 PM
What about a folklore-based version of tvtropes' "Noodle Incident": the dwarves have all these in-jokes relating to some old song or poem, kind of like a dwarven equivalent of "All Your Base", where the dwarves all know it and couldn't explain the jokes if they wanted to.

"All your base" as an example, really? On a RP gamer forum?

Where's the Mountain Dew?
Are there any girls there?
I attack the darkness.

QuidEst
2012-01-12, 10:06 AM
"All your base" as an example, really? On a RP gamer forum?

Where's the Mountain Dew?
Are there any girls there?
I attack the darkness.

Personal preference is "You have awakened the gazebo." :smalltongue:

big teej
2012-01-12, 10:08 PM
Not dwarf jokes, no jabs at height or beard gags, but jokes that dwarves would come up with and find hilarious. I want to add in a dwarven NPC to an upcoming game who'll have the worst taste in jokes because they only make sense to dwarves and he over explains them.

I've only come up with one so far:

"Why do human wizards grow beards? Because studying magic takes commitment, determination and hard work!" *he busts a gut laughing* "Because, like beards, commitment to a task, determination and hard work are all very dwarven traits!" *continues laughing while everyone else goes :smallconfused:*

Any help would be much appreciated.

-ahem-

"sobriety"

"dry county" or state or country or whatever

"elf work"

"ork intelligence"

"noble giants"