That time when ...

[AimlessSage]

ITT: Awesome/funny moment that have happened to you (Or you heard)

Yesterday me and my friends where playing Pathfdiner, and we had to infiltrate a drow city, the plan was to have some local elven guards chase us and we resist just enough to fool the drow. All goes according to plan one player shoots the guard in the knee w/ a hand crossbow, i was like "I can do that" i potshot the same knee as well. Crit, massive damage, By rules of called shots i managed to decapitate leg w/ arrow. First thing said, by me, "I used to be an elven guard, then i took an arrow to the knee."

[Need_A_Life]

At one point I was playing D&D in a high fantasy setting.
We were to save the newborn child of the prophecy, so he'd stand with the forces of good rather than those of evil.

Anyway, the bad guys claim the child and start to fly off. Luckily, I move x4 their fly speed, so I catch up in short order with my winged monk. Now, we discuss a moment and it's agreed that if I kill the one who's holding the child, the baby will fall to its death, so I figure "I'm a monk with Fly-By Attack" and fly over, disarm the bad guy of the baby (insisting that he takes penalties unless he was Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Baby), catch it (since I have my hands free) and fly off.
Okay, next round, one of the other bad guys charges me with their greatsword and one-shots me. Dead. The closest other character cannot get to the area in at least two rounds. At this point, I insist that A) Since it wasn't a disarm, she can't simply claim to have caught the child, B) since there's no one in range we'll both hit the ground and we'll have "former monk and baby"-mush after 20d6 falling damage.

The Game Master realized he'd made a plot-wrecking mistake, so I ended up "flying" in-place for several rounds, before anyone managed to get over and save the child.

---

There was also the time a Crane Samurai and a Lion Samurai were traveling together. Their respective houses had declared that they had to work together, so duels as to who was the better warrior was out of the question.
At some point, we have to get rooms at a (fancy) inn and eat. They decide to "duel" by seeing who can afford to be more extravagant, as it was supposed to prove that their house had more resources or something like that :smallconfused:
The Lion samurai buys an exquisite meal for, like 8gp.
The Crane samurai buys an even better and larger meal for 15gp
[15min out of game goes by]
The Lion samurai buys everyone a glass of sake.
The Crane samurai buys everyone a plate of food and a glass of sake.
Now, my character was a spellcaster, not a samurai who had a LOT of money he'd never used. So I caught the GMs attention and told him that I asked the owner of the place how much it would take to buy the place.
Upon hearing the amount, I nod at the GM, cross off the money and then exclaim: "ATTENTION EVERYONE! As the new owner of this establishment, tonight everyone eats and drinks for free!"

Which even today is referred to as "That time when [player #1] and [player #2] were trying to see which one of them was more honourable... and [I] won."

[Ancient Mage]

One of my wizards was exceptionally death prone. Here's a list of a few of his deaths to amuse everyone:

(1): I moved into melee range of a hydra to shove a potion down the knocked-out barbarians' throat. The hydra promptly hit me 7 times and ripped me apart.

(2): I was walking through the woods to get into position for our attack on the steading of the hill giant chief, when 4 dire wolves attacked me. I failed initiative and was slain instantly. I didn't even get to cast a spell. My companions managed to get my body off a pike on the hill giant's walls and resurrect me later.

(3): I walked into Maure Castle, saw a bodak, and died instantly. I came back to life later, re-entered Maure Castle, and stumbled across a symbol of death. I died instantly.

(4): The DM finally managed to kill me for good by having a great wyrm red dragon kill me and the whole party. I was looking at the DM's notes, and had we gotten past the dragon, we would have ironically gotten 3 million gp worth of items.

-Ancient Mage

[whydoibover]

I was playing a homebrewed Iron golem who'd achieved sentience called Bandana (he was initialled BBR for Big Badass Robot but had come up with a different name for himself).

A dwarven fortress he'd been assigned to protect was getting attacked, so he was killing the goblins left right and centre, usually just walking over them and using his whirlwind spiked chains Boris and Karg to kill those who threatened him.
The goblins blew up the alcohol store, which necessitated a quick escape, so he plodded out, stopping only to pick up a large rock which had pinned the party monk to the ground as it fell on him.

Outside were 300 blue dragons savaging Farral, the gold dragon demigod my DM had given tonnes of power and an awesome sword, Jeffrey, which blasted so much heat out to anything in LOS when it his something that it could melt rock; Farral seemed to be losing, and my party realized why when we saw his sword lying in the ground nearby.

The wizard was all for summoning a creature that could fly so we could give it to him, the monk wanted to jump from the tip of the castle and hope. Bandana had a better idea. He picked up Jeffrey and lobbed it skywards, and he picked up a rock for the party to hide under. It hit a dragon (target rich environment) and the resulting implosion (of deific power and fire) was sufficient to melt the rock into glass.