Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

[Sith_Happens]

*I may not weasel a lightsaber in as a "psionic spirit blade"
**Even if I manage to somehow pull that off, "gnomish mechanical buzz-swords" are right out.
***As are "dwarven speed-mining sticks"

** A "hollow, manually-operated golem" offers no protection from thrown DMGs.


*The DM is rule 0 so I'm to stop whining about how he cut off my cleric from his god.
**Yes even if it got the party killed
***Because maybe it would FORCE ME to ROLEPLAY!

* I am not to point out to the DM that the group's munchkin actually has a good point about three-fourths of the time.
** Conversely, I am not to point out that playing an elf monk is grounds for immediate revoking of one's munchkin license.

* I may not badger another member of the party to make a Wish of practical benefit when the campaign is over and we don't even know if we'll still be playing the same characters.
** If she instead Wishes to revive the DMPC who was killed by the final boss, I may not ruin the dramatic impact by pointing out that we are currently surrounded by mid-level clerics.

[Reltzik]

* No longer allowed to prove that enough sneak dice means I don't need special metals to overcome DR.
** Double for a high crit range.

* If I play a secretly evil PC, I am not allowed to be obviously evil.
** Tieflings are a bad idea if the party LG is an aasamir.
** If said aasamir (who trusts EVERYONE with NO good reason) is suspicious of me inside of two minutes of introductory conversation, I need a higher bluff score.
*** Me, not my character.
** When said aasamir puts me in a Zone of Truth spell and flat-out asks me "are you evil?", sullen silence broken through a light hissing through my pointy teeth is its own form of answer.
*** I am being barred from the party, not for being evil, but for NOT BEING ABLE TO COME UP WITH A CONVINCING HALF-TRUTH RESPONSE GAWD HOW HARD IS THAT QUESTION TO GET AROUND?

((Just to be clear, the above wasn't MY secretly evil PC. This was ANOTHER player's secretly evil PC. MY evil PC is the most-loved (least-hated?), least-suspected member of the party, and no one has even NOTICED all the crap she's been pulling on behalf of the Quori. The next ruleset is for MY evil PC.))
* I may, of course, take the item I was ordered to retrieve from the box prior to the party looting it, as I was commanded. However...
** If I am to replace it with something so that the party doesn't suspect the rogue who found an empty (and jeweled, magic, and fancy) box, it is to be something of reasonable value. I am NOT to furnish a goblin cookbook that I picked up from the bargain bin for 3 copper against just this eventuality. (Yes, I thought that far ahead.)
*** I am also not to prepare said cookbook by adding to the inside of the front cover the words "Captain Zanzibar" followed by a pageful of gibberish that LOOKS like a cyphered message but is, in fact, utter gibberish, and to then go through the book underlying random words on random pages.
**** The magical box (which at my urging we pawned without closely examining) does NOT strip an object of its personally-connective properties, thus explaining why scrying on the book's owner reveals me, the first person to have contact with the book after it was removed from the box.
***** I am not to allow, and definitely not to ENCOURAGE, the rest of the party to go on a quest to unravel the nature of this mystery, nor am I to construct and drop further "clues" into the party's hands with the intent of feeding them misinformation and also covering up my own thefts.
****** Nor, at the end of this unproductive and all-around frustrating set of sidequests, am I allowed to use above-mentioned zone of truth to have the epiphany: "Wait! I think the book was a decoy! What about the BOX we found it in? Suppose that the book was meant to distract us from the BOX!" and use the timing of this apparent epiphany to further deflect non-existent suspicion from me.
******* I'm not allowed to gloat to the rest of the group. Not that I am. I just WANT to.

[Rockphed]

* I may, of course, take the item I was ordered to retrieve from the box prior to the party looting it, as I was commanded. However...
** If I am to replace it with something so that the party doesn't suspect the rogue who found an empty (and jeweled, magic, and fancy) box, it is to be something of reasonable value. I am NOT to furnish a goblin cookbook that I picked up from the bargain bin for 3 copper against just this eventuality. (Yes, I thought that far ahead.)
*** I am also not to prepare said cookbook by adding to the inside of the front cover the words "Captain Zanzibar" followed by a pageful of gibberish that LOOKS like a cyphered message but is, in fact, utter gibberish, and to then go through the book underlying random words on random pages.
**** The magical box (which at my urging we pawned without closely examining) does NOT strip an object of its personally-connective properties, thus explaining why scrying on the book's owner reveals me, the first person to have contact with the book after it was removed from the box.
***** I am not to allow, and definitely not to ENCOURAGE, the rest of the party to go on a quest to unravel the nature of this mystery, nor am I to construct and drop further "clues" into the party's hands with the intent of feeding them misinformation and also covering up my own thefts.
****** Nor, at the end of this unproductive and all-around frustrating set of sidequests, am I allowed to use above-mentioned zone of truth to have the epiphany: "Wait! I think the book was a decoy! What about the BOX we found it in? Suppose that the book was meant to distract us from the BOX!" and use the timing of this apparent epiphany to further deflect non-existent suspicion from me.
******* I'm not allowed to gloat to the rest of the group. Not that I am. I just WANT to.

That is perhaps the best example of "secret evil" I have ever seen. And you can gloat when the campaign is over, just be prepared to dodge books.

[eulmanis12]

*no matter how much skill I have in archdetecture I may not construct a stairway to heaven.
**they tried it once before, didn't work
***a highway to hell is out of the question
****I may not pave it with good intentions

*If my plan contains any of the folowing statements it is immediatly vetoed
- So if I take the cross product of the vectors
- assuming that the coordinates of cthuluss lair are (pi,pi,pi,e,e,pi)
- First I aquire some fertalizer and soap
- So we know ro and phi but not theta
- F=MA, F=kx, e=mcc, e=.5mvv
(all of these have featured in a plan created by myself or my group)

[Beowulf DW]

** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
*** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.

*When the bad guy kills the Bard, I will act impressed.
*My paladin is not interested in the rustic architecture right over there.

[Reltzik]

*no matter how much skill I have in archdetecture I may not construct a stairway to heaven.
**they tried it once before, didn't work
***a highway to hell is out of the question
****I may not pave it with good intentions

*If my plan contains any of the folowing statements it is immediatly vetoed
- So if I take the cross product of the vectors
- assuming that the coordinates of cthuluss lair are (pi,pi,pi,e,e,pi)
- First I aquire some fertalizer and soap
- So we know ro and phi but not theta
- F=MA, F=kx, e=mcc, e=.5mvv
(all of these have featured in a plan created by myself or my group)

* I may not construct a perpetual motion device using a wheel, 2 bags of holding, their maximum weight capacity in ballast, and a mechanical mechanism that dumps out their ballast into a bin at the height of the wheel's motion and back into the bag at the bottom.
** I am also not allowed to go online and share this in a thread full of people who apparently love to drive their DMs crazy with this sort of exploit.

[byaku rai]

*It is in poor taste to use Decanters of Endless Water for purposes other than drinking, washing things, and occasionally knocking down scrawny goblins.

**Perpetual motion machines, limitless clean energy, hovercraft, orbital rockets, aquaforming, siege engines, steampunk railguns, and other technological marvels may be natural consequences of a society capable of mass-producing Decanters of Endless Water, but I am not allowed to create any of them.
***Not even as an artificer.

*Making the logical conclusion that it would be possible to make a Decanter of Endless Fire simply by changing the mini-gate's destination is frowned upon.

*Decanters of endless [x], where x is any substance associated with a given elemental or demi-elemental plane of the D&D planescape, are frowned upon in general.
**Special consideration goes into the frowning upon of Decanters of Endless Gasoline, Whiskey, Oil, Grease, Lube, Gunpowder, Tiny Shards of Glass, Bees, Spiders, Scorpions, Dragons, Sewer Water, Urine, Lasers, and/or Gold.

[Novawurmson]

*Calling my character Farren d'Hite is fine; calling myself Mr. Farren Hite is not.
**Even if he is burning through the skies at 200 degrees, he cannot travel at the speed of light.
***He will not make a super-sonic man out of you
****No, not even with the right acquired template.

Edit:

*My character should refrain from "taking samples" of all of the victims of a crazed cannibal "for science," even during a time of widespread starvation
**In front of the party Paladin

[Incom]

*It is in poor taste to use Decanters of Endless Water for purposes other than drinking, washing things, and occasionally knocking down scrawny goblins.

**Perpetual motion machines, limitless clean energy, hovercraft, orbital rockets, aquaforming, siege engines, steampunk railguns, and other technological marvels may be natural consequences of a society capable of mass-producing Decanters of Endless Water, but I am not allowed to create any of them.
***Not even as an artificer.

*Making the logical conclusion that it would be possible to make a Decanter of Endless Fire simply by changing the mini-gate's destination is frowned upon.

*Decanters of endless [x], where x is any substance associated with a given elemental or demi-elemental plane of the D&D planescape, are frowned upon in general.
**Special consideration goes into the frowning upon of Decanters of Endless Gasoline, Whiskey, Oil, Grease, Lube, Gunpowder, Tiny Shards of Glass, Bees, Spiders, Scorpions, Dragons, Sewer Water, Urine, Lasers, and/or Gold.

*** "Decanter of Endless Decanters of Endless X" is right out.

[eulmanis12]

*When the DM claims that something is physicaly and magically impossible, I may not take this as a challenge

*likewise I may not consider any statement along the lines of "this is the craziest plan i've ever heard" when not refering to one of my plans as a challenge

*if my character drives cthullu insane, I have done something horribly horribly wrong (read as right)

*as a barbarian with an int of 5, I may not come up with plans involving multivariable calculus in any way (with the exception of using a multivariable calculus textbook as an improvised weapon)
**As a barbarian with an int of 5 I should not be intelegent enough to come up with a plan in the first place
***in fact that character should not know what the word plan means
****I may not have characters with an int of less than 10



*if I am not a wizard or artificer, actually even if I am a wizard or artificer, my plan may not involve nuclear fusion

*If the entire list of equipment for my plan to defeat the BBEG calls for a paperclip, two ball bearings, a rubber band, sovereign glue, duct tape, an axe handle, three sewing needles, and a fork. And it works. I will be beated relentlessly with the DMG.


* I may not use magic Items to approximate walkie talkies
**I may never again use the line "This is Sierra Echo Alpha Lima Six reporting Bravo Bravo Echo Golf and 20 Tangos in grid square, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Requesting Foxtrot India Romeo Echo Bravo Alpha Lima Lima. Over." in a D&D session. Even if it makes sense with the "walkie talkies"
***I must stop assuming anyone else in my group understands the Military Alphabet

[Techwarrior]

If I am playing the Barbarian, I may never solve any of the puzzles set by the DM.
I especially cannot solve ALL of the puzzles.
This extends to any character with a Wisdom that is less than 10.

From now on I must play Wisdom based characters.

[demigodus]

-Awesome stuff-

I want to play in a campaign with you...

[Doorhandle]

*Decanters of endless [x], where x is any substance associated with a given elemental or demi-elemental plane of the D&D planescape, are frowned upon in general.
**Special consideration goes into the frowning upon of Decanters of Endless Gasoline, Whiskey, Oil, Grease, Lube, Gunpowder, Tiny Shards of Glass, Bees, Spiders, Scorpions, Dragons, Sewer Water, Urine, Lasers, and/or Gold.

Shut up and take my decanter of endless money!


** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
*** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.

* The starting level of a campaign is in class-levels and not C.R. Therefore, I must play 1 lv 20 druid, and not 20 druids at lv1
** Having them pool their respective companions into 1 lv 20 companion is just rude.

[Socratov]

*When the DM claims that something is physicaly and magically impossible, I may not take this as a challenge

*likewise I may not consider any statement along the lines of "this is the craziest plan i've ever heard" when not refering to one of my plans as a challenge

*if my character drives cthullu insane, I have done something horribly horribly wrong (read as right)

*as a barbarian with an int of 5, I may not come up with plans involving multivariable calculus in any way (with the exception of using a multivariable calculus textbook as an improvised weapon)
**As a barbarian with an int of 5 I should not be intelegent enough to come up with a plan in the first place
***in fact that character should not know what the word plan means
****I may not have characters with an int of less than 10



*if I am not a wizard or artificer, actually even if I am a wizard or artificer, my plan may not involve nuclear fusion

*If the entire list of equipment for my plan to defeat the BBEG calls for a paperclip, two ball bearings, a rubber band, sovereign glue, duct tape, an axe handle, three sewing needles, and a fork. And it works. I will be beated relentlessly with the DMG.


* I may not use magic Items to approximate walkie talkies
**I may never again use the line "This is Sierra Echo Alpha Lima Six reporting Bravo Bravo Echo Golf and 20 Tangos in grid square, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Requesting Foxtrot India Romeo Echo Bravo Alpha Lima Lima. Over." in a D&D session. Even if it makes sense with the "walkie talkies"
***I must stop assuming anyone else in my group understands the Military Alphabet

*A multivariable calculus textbook is not to be used as a weapon
**No, i just cant have a weapon of mass destruction
***are you sure you want a demonstration of the power of said textbook? Hold onto your head then
****DERP

[Arbane]

** Having them pool their respective companions into 1 lv 20 companion is just rude.

*** Their combined companion is NOT Captain Planet.

[Marillion]

*While subverting the Vestenmannavanjar stereotype of big, clever, fierce berserkers is fun and even encouraged, may not subvert all of them at once.
*May not speak with an outrageously faux-Norwegian accent.
*Especially not if this causes the other players to accidentally slip into the accent.
*Everythings am NOT hards for Marilli- oh DAMMIT!
*If the Bearsark advantage is purchased, the party must be informed, and it must be used more than once in the campaign in a situation BESIDES brutally murdering a random rude civilian.
*I gets it, you made an expy! Whats do you want, a be-able-to-makes-expy's awards!?
*Chickens am nots a candy.

[PaperMustache]

-The verbal component for the spell "Hideous Laughter" is not "So a ranger, a wizard and a barbarian walk into a bar..."

[Socratov]

-The verbal component for the spell "Hideous Laughter" is not "So a ranger, a wizard and a barbarian walk into a bar..."

**it's range is close range but no touch attack is needed, so no, you don't have to tickle the guy with the tiny feather...

[Man on Fire]

* Cannot ban Unarmed Swordsage just because I think the name's f@#$ing stupid.
* If I change the name of every single maneuver to something I can say with straight face I must write both names down.

[Sith_Happens]

* Cannot ban Unarmed Swordsage just because I think the name's f@#$ing stupid.
* If I change the name of every single maneuver to something I can say with straight face I must write both names down.

* I may not consistently "forget" that FIVE SHADOW CREEPING ICE ENERVATION STRIKE is called something else now.:smalltongue:

[Kazyan]

*If, after explaining a character concept, the DM doesn't say anything within three seconds (laughter is not speech), I don't get to play it.

[Reltzik]

Objections to my most recent character, a level 1 archery-based fighter:

* The best place for a meatshield is NOT at the exact boundary of the point-blank shot feat.
** If the rest of the party almost dies by the end of the module, and I don't take a single HP of damage ever, something is wrong.
** Rogues are entitled to a flanker of they whine loud enough.
** No longer allowed to have rapid shot AND precise shot at 1st level (may have mentioned this already).
*** Not allowed to use this to one-shot (well, two-shot) a DR 5/slashing, 8 HP monster, without at least critting. It makes the DM cry.
** I am required to lose initiative at least once, even if it is to a party member.

* I am to stop arguing and admit that my character is paranoid already.
** I am not to automatically assume that The Enemy is the kindly priest that hired us to retrieve the religious artifact.
** My skillset should be broader than "killing things". Also, my employment history. Yes, people count as things.
*** The Enemy does not have my money, and I am never again to say that -- or anything else -- with the same measure of wide-eyed lunacy.
**** No, wait, the priest DOES have my money, and he IS planning to pay us, he just isn't the enemy!
***** PUT YOUR WEAPON DOWN DAMMIT!
****** The intimidate skill does NOT work on party members, and I DO have to roll a die to use it, regardless of how this particular episode seems to have played out.

[Dimers]

*If, after explaining a character concept, the DM doesn't say anything within three seconds (laughter is not speech), I don't get to play it.

** I also don't get to play it if the DM says "No", even if she does so within three seconds.

[Techwarrior]

I am restricted from playing characters that the DM responds with "Yes. Do it." :smallamused:

Ever. No matter how awesome It is.

[Qwertystop]

What? But I want to play a Major Glamerkin (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=11265857) Soulcrafter (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=215075)!

[Pokonic]

When I play a Monk, I cannot crack open my Exalted sourcebook and just pick names at random for his attacks.

[Techwarrior]

No character of mine may shout "FALCON PUNCH!!!" for any reason.

Even a desert wind focused unarmed swordsage with the fiery fists feat.

[Arbane]

When I play a Monk, I cannot crack open my Exalted sourcebook and just pick names at random for his attacks.

** Especially not if it's MoEP: Alchemicals.
*** ESPECIALLY not if the one you pick is Thousandfold Courtesan Calculation.

[Rockphed]

** My skillset should be broader than "killing things". Also, my employment history. Yes, people count as things.

***Time is also a thing.
**** So are ideas. Actually, if you managed to kill an Idea, you should probably list it.
***** Creating evil gods is not something you want on your employment history if you are trying to get good people to hire you.

[Ksheep]

***Time is also a thing.
**** So are ideas. Actually, if you managed to kill an Idea, you should probably list it.
***** Creating evil gods is not something you want on your employment history if you are trying to get good people to hire you.

****** Killing evil gods might help. Killing gods indiscriminately will not

[Sith_Happens]

* I may not ask the other PCs perfectly innocent questions that nonetheless require their players to invent backstory details on the spot.
** Especially not if said questions also expose holes in the opening premise of the campaign.

[Riverdance]

* I may not ask the other PCs perfectly innocent questions that nonetheless require their players to invent backstory details on the spot.
** Especially not if said questions also expose holes in the opening premise of the campaign.

***When making up backstory on the spot I may not intentionally expose holes in the opening of the campaign.

*I may not make "invented gunpowder" a part of my backstory just so I can use gunpowder.
**This goes double for nukes
***"Invented bacon" does not make me a god.

[McDouggal]

****But it should.

*I may no longer outdamage the party rogue... as a 4th edition Wizard.

[Afool]

* When the DM hints heavily that stepping on the obviously marked staircase will lead to death, may not go and pick up a copper my gnome bard tossed on it to check for traps.
*May not proceed to roll up an Elf Swashbuckler just to do it again.

(Haven't yet, but Jim Jones will be avenged :smallbiggrin:)

[Wraith]

****** Killing evil gods might help. Killing gods indiscriminately will not

* I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
** No, not even Evil ones.

* If the GM is reciting a riddle that we must find the answer to in order to progress in the plot, at the very least I am to let him finish the question before giving the correct answer.
** The plot will not progress if the GM asks a riddle and I give an answer that is correct in every detail EXCEPT that it was not the specific one that the GM was expecting.
** ESPECIALLY if my answer was more sensible, in character or genre appropriate than the actual answer.

[Dimers]

* I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
** No, not even Evil ones.

Wow. Now that one had never occurred to me. I mean, I don't generally play on the killing-and/or-becoming-gods level of play, but ... yeah, that's a brilliant idea that absolutely should not be done.

[Erik Vale]

*I Am not Allowed to enter Giantitp.com/forums and any of its under sections.
**Even through web sites that allow me to do so without doing so.
***Asking others is assumed as to be disallowed.
****My internet conection has been unplugged and all cords stolen.
*****As Have been the Computer.
******The Next attempt will result in a city wide EMP attack to prevent me from using ANY computer.

[NM020110]

*May not point out the possibility of defending against EMP attacks.

[Reltzik]

* I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
** No, not even Evil ones.

*** Under no conditions, ever, may I make a deity with the portfolio of deific inconsistency, impossibility, and paradox.
**** This rule applies retroactively to the beginning of time.
***** My not being able to create it, ever, does NOT mean that I thus automatically create it. Why? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A LOGICAL PARA-... dammit.


* If the GM is reciting a riddle that we must find the answer to in order to progress in the plot, at the very least I am to let him finish the question before giving the correct answer.
** The plot will not progress if the GM asks a riddle and I give an answer that is correct in every detail EXCEPT that it was not the specific one that the GM was expecting.
** ESPECIALLY if my answer was more sensible, in character or genre appropriate than the actual answer.

*** Neither as DM nor as PC am I allowed to set up a series of traps with riddle keys, where the "correct" answer to the riddle is counted as incorrect, and the actual response that bypasses the trap is something gibberish like "Heeby Jeebies".
**** Even if this is the smart way to do it for a character with good memory and my wizard has 21 int by this point.

[Rockphed]

*** Neither as DM nor as PC am I allowed to set up a series of traps with riddle keys, where the "correct" answer to the riddle is counted as incorrect, and the actual response that bypasses the trap is something gibberish like "Heeby Jeebies".
**** Even if this is the smart way to do it for a character with good memory and my wizard has 21 int by this point.

***** A random string of characters is right out.
****** Using my players' actual passwords to anything is a good way to learn just how annoyed my players can get.
******* Key loggers are not toys. I am not to install them on other people's machines.

* Basing a character on Teddy Roosevelt is okay. Basing a character on cousin Teddy from "Arsenic and Old Lace" is not.

[Romanes eunt do]

* Basing a character on Teddy Roosevelt is okay. Basing a character on cousin Teddy from "Arsenic and Old Lace" is not.

**No, I may not yell "charge" every time I go up the dungeon stairs.
***Failure to comply will result in automatic teleportation to Happydale.

[Morithias]

*Not allowed to have bandits endlessly hound the PC's while ignoring the merchant caravans.
**Not allowed to use obscure charts and tables from the Dungeon Master's Guide no one ever uses to point out that murdering the PC's is not only safer, but more profitable.
*** No longer allowed to play my bandits with anything resembling intelligence (even though intelligence is the core attribute of the rogue).

[Riverdance]

*It doesn't matter how stupid my fighter is, "bravery" is not synonymous with "violence."
**Nor is "courage" synonymous with "base attack bonus"

[Craft (Cheese)]

*It doesn't matter how stupid my fighter is, "bravery" is not synonymous with "violence."
**Nor is "courage" synonymous with "base attack bonus"

***Penis length is not synonymous with Base Attack Bonus either.
****No matter how many enhancement bonus pills you take

[Ksheep]

* My name is not James, and it is NOT what mother called me
** I may not use Enlarge on a peach
*** I may not awaken a monstrous centipede, spider, worm, ladybug, and lightning bug
**** I may not then live in the peach
***** I may not make the peach a mobile base by capturing a bunch of seagulls and having them fly us around everywhere
****** The BBEGs are not my aunts.

[Reltzik]

* The NPC guides assigned to get us to the adventure site are not then promoted to "trap specialists".
** Even if I have a high bluff and they a low wisdom.
*** The DM... er, kobolds... put a LOT of thought into that trap, and if I were to detect it, bypass it, or otherwise escape it, that would be rude.
**** I AM allowed to suggest that the barbarian bypass the door and greataxe his way in through the wall, since apparently a trap causing the entire building to collapse is sensitive to that sort of thing.

* Slippers of Spider Climbing are a privilege, not a right, and may be revoked if abused.
** Anything that requires holding a mini in midair above the monster, or forcing the DM to think in three dimensions, counts.
*** Attempting to invoke the DM's stupid "but you didn't actually say you were looking up, so you're surprised regardless of what you rolled" rule against the monsters also constitutes abuse.
**** Holding my breath is also a privilege, not a right, and may be revoked if abused.

* Not allowed to defeat a locust swarm with a smoke stick.
** Nor a centipede swarm with a Create Water spell.
*** Not allowed to use Create Water to increase the size class of a water elemental in order to get more XPs.
**** Water elementals are NOT hurt by Purify Food and Drink.

* Rangers may not select "Box Text" as a favored terrain. (They get favored terrain in addition to favored enemy in Pathfinder)

[Reltzik]

* May not mentally count down the seconds to midnight.
** Even if I do notice it's past midnight, it is NOT Talk Like A Pirate Day in the game world.

[Sgt. Cookie]

* May not mentally count down the seconds to midnight.
** Even if I do notice it's past midnight, it is NOT Talk Like A Pirate Day in the game world.

*** Nor may I play Iron Maiden a couple of minutes before.

[MrLemon]

* May not ask if there are small stones lying about and pick some up
** May not repeatedly ask the DM how many stones I've got
*** Especially not when something's happening
**** May not fill chasms with my DM-approved infinite supply of small stones

[Kane0]

*I may not steal souls from the god of pain and suffering.
**Even if they want to be taken
***Especially if they are devoted followers of said god.
****Should I ever do so, I cannot then tear the poor soul apart because he likes torment.

[McDouggal]

*I may no longer use Ghostform, Greater Invisibility, and Blink. Ever.
**Especially if I use it to hide in the BBEG's chair.
***ESPECIALLY if i then cast silenced Maximized Explosive Runes on his armrest.
****Even if I could totally do it.

*I may not put "invented Monopoly" as reason why my character is Ebil.

*I may not create a fighter based on a spartan soldier.
**Not even in a campaign based on Ancient Greece, where all the players are Spartans.
***I also may not make a Halo Spartan in my DM's campaign.

*I may not rule that Electric Eels exist, and that the shark can spit them at a player who is severely annoying me. Especially if the Character is vulnerable to lightning. Especially if each eel does 500d4 damage, no save, on a hit.
**Even if he's otherwise invulnerable.

[Man on Fire]

* I'm never, under any circumstances allowed to do anything I saw Jack Horner from Fables doing once.
** I cannot play character inspired by Jack Horner, because I cannot play character of his alignment.
*** Jack Horner's alignment isn't "chaotic neutral", neither is it "neutral evil" and not even "chaotic evil". Jack Horner's alignment is "A**hole".

[Alabenson]

*Am not to attack random NPC's on the basis that they might be shapeshifters.
**Am not to attack the other PC's on the basis that they might be shapeshifters.

[MidgetMarine]

*I may not grapple in mountain plate and use my AC penalty to drown the story-arc boss

[Reltzik]

*Am not to attack random NPC's on the basis that they might be shapeshifters.
**Am not to attack the other PC's on the basis that they might be shapeshifters.

*** Am not to attack shapeshifters on the grounds that they are shapeshifters, unless I want an alignment shift for racist murderings.

[Ksheep]

*** Am not to attack shapeshifters on the grounds that they are shapeshifters, unless I want an alignment shift for racist murderings.

**** I am not to shapeshift into a shapeshifter murderer, murder a non-shapeshifter, and blame the murder on the shapeshifter murderer.

[TuggyNE]

*Am not to attack random NPC's on the basis that they might be shapeshifters.
**Am not to attack the other PC's on the basis that they might be shapeshifters.

*** Am not to attack myself on the basis that I might be a shapeshifter.

[eulmanis12]

*** Am not to attack myself on the basis that I might be a shapeshifter.

actually I think thats ok, my DM would allow it.

*Am not to create plans worthy of any of the folowing
-Rube Goldburg
-Wile E Coyote
-Jack Sparrow
-Maxwell Smart
-Scooby Do and co
-Daffy Duck
-Tom
-Jerry

[BootStrapTommy]

*If the PCs tell me that they are building a party with the soul purpose of breaking as many of the rules on this list as possible, I'm required as a DM to just kill them all.
**If I don't, I'm required to prohibit anything Eberron to see how they can creatively fill the hole left by the lack of artificers and warforged.
*** Goliaths are never allowed in ANY campaign EVER again.

[Man on Fire]

actually I think thats ok, my DM would allow it.

*Am not to create plans worthy of any of the folowing
-Rube Goldburg
-Wile E Coyote
-Jack Sparrow
-Maxwell Smart
-Scooby Do and co
-Daffy Duck
-Tom
-Jerry

* Making plan that will look like all of those guy had a wild mind-melting orgy in the backstage will get me kicked out of the group.

[Ksheep]

* I may not make up a dungeon on the fly
** Especially when said dungeon is full of traps, also made on the fly
*** Doubly so if the dungeon is filled with Kobolds
**** Triply so if the dungeon is filled with Kobolds who are played in a smart manner.
***** Even more so if the party rogue is a cowardly kobold who stays in the back of the party that they picked up at the beginning of the dungeon who the rest of the kobolds want to kill for stealing all their nice stuff.

[Riverdance]

*There is no powerful demon's soul trapped within my sword.
**The demon is not named after the son of god
***The demon does not grant the sword powers of flight and the ability to burst into flame at my command.
****I do not have sword shaped slots in my boots which I can use to stand on the sword like a snowboard.
*****I may not surf through the air on a Jesus the flaming sword.

[Sith_Happens]

**If I don't, I'm required to prohibit anything Eberron to see how they can creatively fill the hole left by the lack of artificers and warforged.

*** Iron Heart Surge cannot remove the condition "I am not a warforged artificer." The classics. :D

[Rockphed]

*There is no powerful demon's soul trapped within my sword.
**The demon is not named after the son of god
***The demon does not grant the sword powers of flight and the ability to burst into flame at my command.
****I do not have sword shaped slots in my boots which I can use to stand on the sword like a snowboard.
*****I may not surf through the air on a Jesus the flaming sword.

****** Unless I am playing in a superhero game. Then this is practically expected.

[toapat]

*I may not grapple in mountain plate and use my AC penalty to drown the story-arc boss

**Except Whenever i am playing a character who can do that.

but seriously? That sounds like an awesome way to kill the boss.

[Ksheep]

* Advanced HD Cloakers do not look like suits of full-plate.

* No, I cannot cast animate object on the paladin's armor and make him do something that's against his code

[toapat]

*My kobold paladin may worship Pun-Pun
**He on the other hand, is completely disallowed from getting domain spells.

[Deathkeeper]

*I may not use my familiar's telepathy as a walkie-talkie
*I may not provide moral advice for our Cleric
**I may not laugh in the face of our cleric when he is sentenced for murdering a baby Gold Dragon.
*I may not use my familiar to spy on other PCs and learn their darkest secrets before they are prepared to tell me
**I may not purposely choose spells capable of killing our Rogue even though I found out that she is part Vampire
*I may not refer to our dual-wielder as The Hash-Slinging Slasher
*I may not try to use Taunt on the BBEG
*I may not point out to the GM that the thing that just killed someone does not in fact harm him due to HD or effects he did not read.

[Riverdance]

*My kobold paladin may worship Pun-Pun
**He on the other hand, is completely disallowed from getting domain spells.

***My Kobold Druid may not worship Pun-Pun. Being a Druid is bad enough.

[toapat]

***My Kobold Druid may not worship Pun-Pun. Being a Druid is bad enough.

well, if any class can be described as the Disciple of Punpun, it would be the hyper-optimized paladin. sure, a paladin isnt going to be rewriting reality, but they still function as a sort of Mini-pun.

[Ksheep]

* Warforged are NOT required to follow the 3 rules of constructs.

[Kelb_Panthera]

well, if any class can be described as the Disciple of Punpun, it would be the hyper-optimized paladin. sure, a paladin isnt going to be rewriting reality, but they still function as a sort of Mini-pun.

I don't think many kobold paladins would appreciate that short pun. :smallcool:

[TuggyNE]

* Warforged are NOT required to follow the 3 rules of constructs.

SO MANY CAMPAIGN IDEAS.

[Socratov]

actually I think thats ok, my DM would allow it.

*Am not to create plans worthy of any of the folowing
-Rube Goldburg
-Wile E Coyote
-Jack Sparrow
-Maxwell Smart
-Scooby Do and co
-Daffy Duck
-Tom
-Jerry

*Added to the list are:

Machiavelli
Vetinari
Indiana Jones
Batman
Tony Stark and alter ego Ironman
Batman
Xanatos

**this list is by no means complete and definite. this list may be altered at will by DM

[toapat]

*Added to the list are:

Machiavelli
Vetinari
Indiana Jones
Batman
Tony Stark and alter ego Ironman
Batman
Xanatos

**this list is by no means complete and definite. this list may be altered at will by DM

***Must make Plans similar to at least one of the following:
*Batman
*Ventinari
*Batman
*Tony Stark/Iron Man
*Batman
*Xanatos
*Batman
*Batman

[The Bandicoot]

*The plan is NOT "kill the batman"

[toapat]

*The plan is NOT "kill the batman"

**if the plan involves kill batman, batman will have a plan that results in Batman rising as a being a thousandfold times more powerful then you.
***I shall never kill batman, lest i doom the universe for the creation of the God of Badass

[eulmanis12]

*I may not elect to have no Plan
**this is considered an Indy Plan and only Indiana Jones may use the Indy plan.
***My character may not go into long stories about how he got a scar
****I may not build any explosive devices of more than 2 kilotons in streignth
*****I may not build any explosive devices at all
******I may not create implosive devices
*******I espeicialy may not create implosive devices of negative striegnth

[Knight13]

*******I espeicialy may not create implosive devices of negative striegnth
So wait, it's an implosion device that explodes?

[Dead_Jester]

Forcing the DM and the other players into a Xanatos Gambit (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosGambit) that benefits you without them knowing it at least OoC is usually frowned upon.
*Pulling a full-out Xanatos Roulette (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GambitRoulette?from=Main.XanatosRoulette) is however ok, but don't expect any mercy from the DM in the future.

[toapat]

Forcing the DM and the other players into a Xanatos Gambit (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosGambit) that benefits you without them knowing it at least OoC is usually frowned upon.
*Pulling a full-out Xanatos Roulette (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GambitRoulette?from=Main.XanatosRoulette) is however ok, but don't expect any mercy from the DM in the future.

***you are still not allowed to play batman

[enderlord99]

So wait, it's an implosion device that explodes?

I think that's the idea, yes.

[toapat]

Lillitu

Source of this race?


I think that's the idea, yes.

an Implosion is the reverse of an explosion, thus the yield is measured in negative kilotons

[Kelb_Panthera]

Source of this race?



an Implosion is the reverse of an explosion, thus the yield is measured in negative kilotons

lillitu are an advanced form of succubus. They're in FC1.

[eulmanis12]

an Implosion is the reverse of an explosion, thus the yield is measured in negative kilotons

You are thinking to hard, Implosive device pulls inwards so an implosive device that pulls will a negative streingth pushes outwards thus is actually and explosive device. (though good point on the negative kilotons)

also no self respecting adventurer uses any explosive measured in anything less than megatonnes:smallbiggrin:

[Man on Fire]

* Somatic component for shapechange is not "Gone! gone! - the form of man-"
** Even if I shapechange into an actual demon, it cannot be followed by "Rise, the Demon Etrigan!"

[Morithias]

* I may no longer use X-rated media as inspiration for my characters.
** I still may not use it even if I give a well thought out and logical argument as to why it's characters are more likeable and developed than most fantasy fiction.
*** I am not allowed to start murdering humans left, right and centre as a logical response to the DM claiming that human mortality was a "blessing" in Lord of the Rings.

[Ksheep]

* Somatic component for shapechange is not "Gone! gone! - the form of man-"
** Even if I shapechange into an actual demon, it cannot be followed by "Rise, the Demon Etrigan!"

* My druid does not say "Maximal, energize" whenever he wild-shapes
** Nor does he say "Decepticon, terrorize"

[Arbane]

* My druid does not say "Maximal, energize" whenever he wild-shapes
** Nor does he say "Decepticon, terrorize"

*** Even if he is a Warforged.

[Sith_Happens]

* Quoting Obi-Wan when my Astral Projection's hit points are low is considered bad form.

[Zorg]

also no self respecting adventurer uses any explosive measured in anything less than megatonnes:smallbiggrin:

How about if it's in nega-tonnes? :smallbiggrin:

[Bayar]

* The reason why my familiar grants bonuses only within 1 mile of me is not because that is the maximum range where he can feed off my soul.
** He will not starve if he leaves that area for a longer time.
*** It does not mean he is incapable of eating normal food.
**** He does not gain the ability to transform into humanoid form with animal traits later on.
***** No more familiar facts gained through reading hentai.

* My wizard might have obtained his familiar as part of his magic guild initiation but that does not mean he had to hatch it from an egg.
** Not all familiars are born from eggs.

As DM:
* Fallout Eberron might sound as a good idea, but should inform the players about it before starting the game.
** X-COM Eberron is not a good campaign concept.
*** Ditto for Deus Ex Eberron
**** Not allowed to do all of the above within the same campaign.
***** Merrix d'Cannith will not act like the Master or Mr House.
****** The Daelkyr are not kidnapping mourners to experiment on and replacing the Great Khorvarian Wasteland's major leaders with clones, nor will the Brotherhood of Steel respond by dispatching squads to fight the abomination incursions via VTOL Airships.
******* Jagged Alliance Eberron is a good campaign idea as long as the PC's are the mercenaries and not the employers of mercenaries.

[toapat]

As DM:
* Fallout Eberron might sound as a good idea, but should inform the players about it before starting the game.
** X-COM Eberron is not a good campaign concept.
*** Ditto for Deus Ex Eberron
**** Not allowed to do all of the above within the same campaign.
***** Merrix d'Cannith will not act like the Master or Mr House.
****** The Daelkyr are not kidnapping mourners to experiment on and replacing the Great Khorvarian Wasteland's major leaders with clones, nor will the Brotherhood of Steel respond by dispatching squads to fight the abomination incursions via VTOL Airships.
******* Jagged Alliance Eberron is a good campaign idea as long as the PC's are the mercenaries and not the employers of mercenaries.

********Just because Eberron is Awesome, does not make it a good campaign setting.
*********You can not fix any campaign setting by gestalting with epic videogames

[Ksheep]

* CLOCK-WORK HORR-ORS ARE NOT DRI-VEN BY A NEED TO EX-TER-MI-NATE THE DOC-TOR this text is here to keep the parser happy.
** I may not refer to Warforged as Cybermen

EDIT:
* I may not pit the Borg agains the Daleks
** Nor may I pit them agains the Cybermen
*** I am to be held personally responsible for any damages done to the universe if I break either of the above rules

[Metahuman1]

***Cylons are right out.

[GunnDancer]

Hey all... brand new to the forum but I saw this thread and I HAD to post... these aren't all mine but we actually drove a DM to go through the 3rd ed rule books and do a bunch of changes before we converted to the new rule system from 2nd ed.

We may not:

*Cast "Create Water" in anyones pants.
*Buy fish hooks
*Use multiple fish hooks to create horrible traps
*Buy sheets
*Sew the half drow mage into a sack made from sheets
*Buy burlap sacks
*Heat up pots of water for the purposes of blinding nameless enemies
*Heal the blindness of said nameless enemy and convert them into willing minions
*Use said minion to create an army.

[Man on Fire]

*** Even if he is a Warforged.

* Cannot convince entire party to start every fight by using Alter Self to turn into differently colored Warforged
** Even if, I still cannot start every fight by yelling 'I'ts Morphin' time!"

[Alabenson]

*Cannot create a character who's life goal is to "eat their way through the Monster Manual"
**Even if said character does max out their ranks in Profession (cook)
*The material components for the summon monster spells do not include pokeballs.

[toapat]

*The material components for the summon monster spells do not include pokeballs.

**The pokeball in which the Paladin's Mount however does exist

[Rockphed]

* I am not to create a shadowrun campaign where my university's administration is cast as the villains.
** If I do, I am not to be surprised when one of my players has close connections to the administration.
*** It totally rules the feel when the department chair walks in on my horrible caricature of him, and then does it better than me.
**** Delivering textbooks should not be the basis of a campaign.

These haven't happened. Yet.:smallamused:

[Deathkeeper]

*My Warforged, when presented with a choice, will not say "Reaching a consensus..."
*I may not name my characters words in Draconic that may be easily mispronounced
**If I do, and the party refers to my eidolon as "Cakes" instead of "Caex" I should try to stop them before he develops confidence issues.

[Flame of Anor]

*** It totally rules the feel when the department chair walks in on my horrible caricature of him, and then does it better than me.

Perhaps you meant "ruins", but I like it better this way anyway.

[Ksheep]

* I may not base my campaign on Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
** The same goes for The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul
*** Ditto for any of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books
**** This goes doubly so for any Discworld stories

[RoyVG]

*Can't dig a tunnel through a solid rock door with Mountain Hammer and a longsword
**or any other weapon for that matter.
***especially if the room next door contains lava

[BootStrapTommy]

*I may not name my characters words in Draconic that may be easily mispronounced
**If I do, and the party refers to my eidolon as "Cakes" instead of "Caex" I should try to stop them before he develops confidence issues.

***I may not name my character words in Draconic that when put together become a sexual innuendo.
****If I do, my character will just have to deal with the FURTHER confidence issues that might arise when his name is mispronounced.

[toapat]

*Can't dig a tunnel through a solid rock door with Mountain Hammer and a longsword
**or any other weapon for that matter.
***especially if the room next door contains lava

****If i want to remove walls, i will ask the drow paladin to stick her head through the wall and check first, then remove the wall.

*I will not police my party as a paladin
**I will not enforce said policing by planting their heads in the solid rock floor
***I will not completely destroy the BBEG by attacking through solid rock
****I am no longer allowed to take underdark Knight and Mystic Fire Knight

[Roderick_BR]

*Can't dig a tunnel through a solid rock door with Mountain Hammer and a longsword
**or any other weapon for that matter.
***especially if the room next door contains lava
**** Specially while singing "Dig dig a hole".

* The less references to other games, the better.
** My summoners can't say "I summon a <creature> in attack mode" or "Shocking Lizard, I choose you."
*** Can't say "erecting a dispenser" or similar when building anything with my Artificer or other builder classes.
**** Kamehameha, hadoken, or any similiar with any character that can shoot fireballs, lightining bolts, Eldritch Blasts, or similar, is a free sign for everyone to kill my character. Summarily.
***** Any LotR reference is fair play, though.

[Metahuman1]

**** Specially while singing "Dig dig a hole".



*****Dig a tunnel is right out.
******So is Hi Ho.
*******No more Disney songs.

[vasharanpaladin]

*****Dig a tunnel is right out.
******So is Hi Ho.
*******No more Disney songs.

********Chanting "Diglett dig, Diglett dig" will cost me teeth.

[Wookieetank]

********Chanting "Diglett dig, Diglett dig" will cost me teeth.

*********However it will cause permanent sanity damage to all in hearing range, regardless of if the system has sanity rules or not.

*May not run a planescape campaign in The Mad City
**Or a Don't Rest Your Head campaign in Sigil
***Mixing systems and settings is generally frowned upon
****Doing so just to mess with players will have the nearest and largest source books put into aerial trajectories towards my head.

[Averis Vol]

*unlike in dark souls where it could be a joyous life saving moment, in any cooperative tabletop game I should not shout at the top of my lungs "OH YEA! GET CRIT SON!"
** this is doubly so when I'm DMing

[Flame of Anor]

*********Diggy diggy hole (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQwUqP9omCo)

**********I dig my hole (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8cELTdtw6U)



****If i want to remove walls, i will ask the drow paladin to stick her head through the wall and check first, then remove the wall.

What?

[toapat]

What?

Underdark Knight grants Earthglide. Thus, a paladin can crudely scout without trace at lvl 12+

[eulmanis12]

*at times it is acceptable to insert caracatures of real people into a D&D campaign
*During our down time it is acceptable for me to run a D&D campaign with the other cadets
**If any characters are based on the folowing bad things (read as infinite numbers of push ups) will happen to me
-My Drill Sergeant
-The Colonel
-The Quartermaster Sergeant
-The Cadet Command
-Any Current Pollitical Figure

*I may not reference the fact that Master Sergeant is... OH GOD HE'S RIGHT BEHINNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnn........................ ...........

<connection lost>

[PaperMustache]

*May not dominate the quest giver to pay us before we do the quest.
**May not dominate the monster to give us it's xp
***Talking the monster out of fighting us will not work, and if it did it doesn't count as defeating it in combat.

[Kalrany]

...***Talking the monster out of fighting us will not work, and if it did it doesn't count as defeating it in combat.

Actually, in most games I have been in, that would have counted -- win through roleplay is just as good of a win as combat, though usually results in less loot. Sometimes.

*Opening spell of polymorph other is frowned upon.
**Doubly so when the target cannot make saving throw to maintain current identity.
***Especially when it is a Troll to butterfly morph.
****Cannot then allow anyone to take up entomology as a new hobby.

*Chain lightning in an enclosed space is a Bad Idea.
**Doubly so when more than half the party wears metal armor.
***Cannot complain when both full plate wearing paladin and cleric won't heal you later in the round.

*When fighting vampires, tag teaming bless water and create water elemental using the same water source will result in DM face-palms and higher than normal grapple checks.
**When succeeding in those checks, it is poor form to gloat.
***Especially to the boss who sired them.

Failure to comply with these guidelines gets you what you apparently asked for...

[Alabenson]

*Batman is an acceptable place to start for a character concept. Bat-Mite, on the other hand, is not.

[PaperMustache]

Actually, in most games I have been in, that would have counted -- win through roleplay is just as good of a win as combat, though usually results in less loot. Sometimes.

Is there any precedent for this? Because that's what I thought too but the DM didn't think it made sense so I dropped it. We play pathfinder.

[Ksheep]

Is there any precedent for this? Because that's what I thought too but the DM didn't think it made sense so I dropped it. We play pathfinder.

Pretty sure 3.5 DMG covers that, not sure if Pathfinder does tho...

[Kalrany]

Is there any precedent for this? Because that's what I thought too but the DM didn't think it made sense so I dropped it. We play pathfinder.

This type of confrontation was a standard in all our games [AD&D, 3.0, and 3.5; Star Wars (both old d10 and new d20); and Vampire the Masquerade]. I have not played Pathfinder, but I would think that victory is victory no matter how you slice it. And not getting bashed in is a victory. While we might not get the loot we might have had if we had just gone in magic missiles blazing, we usually ended up with an information resource if not a outright ally. Frankly, this was typically worth a lot more than gold or magic items, but that was how we did our games. (Mileage may very.)

It probably depends on how your GM wants to run the game, but I would find it rather odd if talking my way out of a fight didn't count as a victory. (Of course, we always had skills (or equivalent) that we could base a character personality that was likely to be able to try that.) *shrug* If it bugs you it might be a good idea to talk it over with your GM a bit more to find out what [her] rational is, but it is [his] game and in the end, you will know better next time in either case.

I wish you luck in figuring it out!

[Randomguy]

*High fives are in order when someone scores a critical hit.
**A contingent major image that makes fireworks go off accompanied by theme music, a sound effect, and someone yelling "critical hit!" is a bit too much.

[Kelb_Panthera]

Pretty sure 3.5 DMG covers that, not sure if Pathfinder does tho...

I'm 95% sure this is true. I even think I remember there being an example involving a minotaur.

[Deathkeeper]

Pretty sure 3.5 DMG covers that, not sure if Pathfinder does tho...

I've read 3.5 Modules and Pathfinder Adventure Paths, and both award full exp for resolving conflicts peacefully.

[Ksheep]

* When I say I'm going to nerf the dungeon, I can't just replace all the 50' pitfall traps with 10' pitfall traps that have gelatinous cubes at the bottom.

[TuggyNE]

* When I say I'm going to nerf the dungeon, I can't just replace all the 50' pitfall traps with 10' pitfall traps that have gelatinous cubes at the bottom.

** 10' pitfalls with acidic nerf ball look-alikes are right out.

[Flame of Anor]

*** Keeping the 50' pitfalls but putting large trampolines at the bottom is rather borderline.

[Riverdance]

*Cannot create a character who's life goal is to "eat their way through the Monster Manual"
**Even if said character does max out their ranks in Profession (cook)
*The material components for the summon monster spells do not include pokeballs.

I'm doing that!


***I may not name my character words in Draconic that when put together become a sexual innuendo.
****If I do, my character will just have to deal with the FURTHER confidence issues that might arise when his name is mispronounced.

*My dwarf cleric's name is not Bud the Wiser
**My halfling rogue's name is not Bud the Light
***My elf wizard's name is not Pierre the Wine Snob

[Sith_Happens]

* When my wizard's clever plan to assault the bandit camp in any way involves fire, I may not be annoyed when the currently-in-a-strategic-hiding-spot PC steals my thunder by thinking of the same thing and going first.

[toapat]

* When my wizard's clever plan to assault the bandit camp in any way involves fire, I may not be annoyed when the currently-in-a-strategic-hiding-spot PC steals my thunder by thinking of the same thing and going first.

**All of my clever plans as a wizard now involve chainlightning

[Flemkopf]

**All of my clever plans as a wizard now involve chainlightning

***When my plans involve chain lightning, I may not hit the Full Plate wearing Paladin with it, explaining that his armor acts like a Faraday Cage, leaving him unharmed but the outside of his armor charged so he can shock the next person he touches.
****If this happens in the final moments of the battle and he kills me with his congratulatory high five, I am not to complain because my plan worked perfectly.
*You know what DM? I think I'll take your advice and leave the physics out of D&D.

[toapat]

his armor acts like a Faraday Cage.

just a quick note: Full plate in PnP does not have Quilted/Padded armor under it

[TuggyNE]

just a quick note: Full plate in PnP does not have Quilted/Padded armor under it

Er, how would you know, and why would you suppose this?

[Winds]

From Player's Handbook, 3.5


This armor consists of shaped and fitted metal plates [...] includes gauntlets, heavy leather boots, a visored helmet and a thick layer of padding that is worn beneath the armor.


Emphasis added. Real life metal armors included underarmor as well-it prevented chafing, burning and other such maladies that would have resulted otherwise.

[Flame of Anor]

As someone who has fought in plate armor, I can tell you that I would rather wear no plate armor at all than unpadded plate armor.

[toapat]

Er, how would you know, and why would you suppose this?

it doesnt actually account for the weight in the PhP despite the fact it describes it being there. there also is a distinct lack of rules for putting the quilted armor on without putting on the full plate

Realistically, ya, you would never want to wear full plate without padding, although you could perhaps get away without anything under a very well made breastplate

[TuggyNE]

it doesnt actually account for the weight in the PhP despite the fact it describes it being there. there also is a distinct lack of rules for putting the quilted armor on without putting on the full plate

Fairly sure that the padding, while thick and sturdy, is not technically made for standalone armor, so it would be a really weird cornercase to allow someone to partially don armor and get almost the benefits of padded armor. I.e., it's an acceptable break from full simulation.

As far as the weight goes, I'm given to understand that 50lbs is not an unreasonable figure for the entire suit: padding, plates, accessories, and all; rapidly comparing it with 10lb for regular padded armor doesn't show any very obvious discrepancy, either.

[saxavarius]

Most functional plate armor isn't as thick as you would think it would need to be; somewhere between ~20 gauge (0.0359 inches) and ~10 gauge (0.1345 inches). The thickest parts of armor were of course the Cuiress (torso) and helm. The thicknesses are approximations based on my knowledge of metals and physics as I have sadly never had the chance to get a close look at real combat armor.


TAX:

*I may not have a crusader cohort that is a better paladin than the PC paladin
**I may not use leadership to start a trading empire
*** Nor may I use it to start cult that worships my PC so she may ascend
****NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE LEADERSHIP EVER!!!!
*****NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE ANY COHORT FEAT!!!(Wild Cohort, Dragon Cohort, etc.)
(And i haven't even done these yet :smallmad:)

[toapat]

As far as the weight goes, I'm given to understand that 50lbs is not an unreasonable figure for the entire suit: padding, plates, accessories, and all; rapidly comparing it with 10lb for regular padded armor doesn't show any very obvious discrepancy, either.

60 Lbs is the average for period armor with the padding, DnD full plate is made for people who are typically even larger, as well as only weighing 50 lbs.


*I may not have a crusader cohort that is a better paladin than the PC paladin

Just a quick point: Crusaders only make better "Paladins" when you are taking the default fluff stance for paladin. Paladin Mechanics better support them as doctors or as mage slayers.

[Riverdance]

*I may not have a crusader cohort that is a better paladin than the PC paladin
**I may not use leadership to start a trading empire


***If I do start a trading empire I am to trade things such as commodities and spices, not humanoid organs.
****Starting a drug trafficking ring is right out.
*****Because the party contains a paladin and a cleric of pelor, that's why.

[toapat]

cleric of pelor

you do know Pelor is CE, Right?

[Riverdance]

you do know Pelor is CE, Right?

That is definitely not true. He's the Neutral Good god of the Sun, Light, Strength, and Healing. He was originally in Greyhawk but he carried through all the way to 3.5 where Jozan the Cleric worships him. I don't know if he exists in 4e.

[Kelb_Panthera]

That is definitely not true. He's the Neutral Good god of the Sun, Light, Strength, and Healing. He was originally in Greyhawk but he carried through all the way to 3.5 where Jozan the Cleric worships him. I don't know if he exists in 4e.

Toapat was referencing Pelor the Burning Hate. Google it.

[Riverdance]

Oh my. I'd never seen that before. Alas, twas I that hath not done mine homework. :smalltongue: My apologies, Toapat, I remove my hat to you.

[Sith_Happens]

Toapat was referencing Pelor the Burning Hate. Google it.


Oh my. I'd never seen that before. Alas, twas I that hath not done mine homework. :smalltongue: My apologies, Toapat, I remove my hat to you.

* I may not insist in-character that Pelor is any variety of Evil.
** Especially not if I am capable of out-arguing/debating the Cleric/Paladin of Pelor on that point.
*** When I suddenly become a valid target for Smiting after doing the above, I am not to cite that as further evidence.

[TuggyNE]

you do know Pelor is CE, Right?

Even The Burning Hate is not CE; NE is the usual assumption.

[toapat]

* I may not insist in-character that Pelor is any variety of Evil.
** Especially not if I am capable of out-arguing/debating the Cleric/Paladin of Pelor on that point.
*** When I suddenly become a valid target for Smiting after doing the above, I am not to cite that as further evidence.

****If i am Arguing that Pelor is Evil, i better damn well be evil before i start doing so. Otherwise the paladin of Slaughter 10/Blackguard 10 is going to rip me in half with his completely overpowered class interaction glitch
*****I am not to abuse a data leak in blackguard that makes a pseudo-lvl 21 paladin at lvl 11


Even The Burning Hate is not CE; NE is the usual assumption.

4th post in the topic, they posted the original statblock for pelor (which even in lore is more accurate then the one in Deities and Demigods)

[TuggyNE]

4th post in the topic, they posted the original statblock for pelor (which even in lore is more accurate then the one in Deities and Demigods)

Yeah, I'm aware of the thread, but that post (which is no more official than anything else, that I know of) disagrees with the OP on its chosen alignment, which is why I said usually NE.

Anyway, back on track.

* I may not allow arguments on whether Pelor is NE or CE to stall the game session.

:smalltongue:

[enderlord99]

*The DM (not the sourcebooks; not some random people on the internet) says what alignment all npcs are. This includes gods. No arguing.
**He also decides what the alignment of each PC is, based on how they act. Still no arguing.
***If I am the dm, I am required to allow more than 9 character personalities.
****18 isn't enough either
*****If it is a finite number, it's not enough.
******We are no longer using alignment. At all.

[rockdeworld]

There's a lot of things I'm not allowed to do now, but most of them are covered by the list already... Hope the following are exceptions.

* May not play a level 1 expert with a +22 diplomacy check
** Or wizard.

* May not take flaws at all.

* None of my skills may be more than +8 at level 1.
** Nor initiative.

* May not buy a candle of invocation.
** Or wish for it.
*** Even if it's within my WBL.
**** Ditto for scrolls of gate.
***** No wondrous items without specific approval.

* May not use any of the calling or polymorph spells.
** Or images.
*** Or wish. No matter how I get it.
**** Or any spell considered "cheese" anywhere.
***** Especially if my character is not a spellcaster.

* May not outclass the party meatshield with a trained hireling.

Edit: @^: May not lecture other players on the benefits of TN alignment as opposed to the others.
** Or any other optimization.

[Riverdance]

* I may not allow arguments on whether Pelor is NE or CE to stall the game session.

:smalltongue:

** I may never mention Pelor or his alignment in this thread ever again.

*The halfling will not die if I sit on him.
**If he performs a devastating sneak attack from beneath me I am not to complain.
***I am not to assume that all halflings are rogues, they find it offensive.
****No, not even if it happens to be true in this case.
**If the Barbarian sits on him he will die.

[toapat]

** I may never mention Pelor or his alignment in this thread ever again.

***Pelor is banned from all campaigns unless the group agrees on his alignment
****Groups will never agree on his alignment
*****Pelor has been replaced by Sunny, God of Sunshine, love, and Rainbows. He is a NG god of sun and vagueness

[Techwarrior]

I may no longer have characters that take Improved Combat Expertise, and have better to hit and damage than the party's Big Stupid Fighter while at full combat expertise.

Especially as a monk.

[Kalmageddon]

***Pelor is banned from all campaigns unless the group agrees on his alignment
****Groups will never agree on his alignment
*****Pelor has been replaced by Sunny, God of Sunshine, love, and Rainbows. He is a NG god of sun and vagueness

Not to go off-topic but this flew over my head... Why is the alignment of Pelor up for debate? I just need a quick reference to get the joke...

[Ksheep]

Not to go off-topic but this flew over my head... Why is the alignment of Pelor up for debate? I just need a quick reference to get the joke...

Because this:


***If I do start a trading empire I am to trade things such as commodities and spices, not humanoid organs.
****Starting a drug trafficking ring is right out.
*****Because the party contains a paladin and a cleric of pelor, that's why.


you do know Pelor is CE, Right?


Toapat was referencing Pelor the Burning Hate. Google it.

[Kalmageddon]

Oh my... Now I'm convinced he's evil... o_o

[toapat]

Oh my... Now I'm convinced he's evil... o_o

**Will not agree on what measure of evil is Pelor, and thus pelor will remain banned

[ideasmith]

***Pelor is banned from all campaigns unless the group agrees on his alignment
****Groups will never agree on his alignment
*****Pelor has been replaced by Sunny, God of Sunshine, love, and Rainbows. He is a NG god of sun and vagueness

******Will not start arguments over whether Sunny is also the god of lollipops.

[toapat]

******Will not start arguments over whether Sunny is also the god of lollipops.

*******He is

[Flame of Anor]

*******He is

********Actually, it's Sunny the Hateful Burn that's the god of lollipops

[Morithias]

********Actually, it's Sunny the Hateful Burn that's the god of lollipops

Party Rogue trying to be clever: "What's a lollipop?"

[Ksheep]

Party Rogue trying to be clever: "What's a lollipop?"

********* Mmphmh mhphem mhmr mmmph mmhrmr!

[toapat]

********Actually, it's Sunny the Hateful Burn that's the god of lollipops

*********I will not accept Errata

[Arbane]

********* Mmphmh mhphem mhmr mmmph mmhrmr!

********** No matter how big it is, a lollipop does club damage, not axe damage.

[enderlord99]

*I will not overuse asterisks.:smalltongue:

[toapat]

*I will not overuse asterisks.:smalltongue:

**Asterisks shall become an endangered Punctuation before the end of this topic
***I must use as many as i can before they do so
****Use MOAR

[Riverdance]

*Rule #23 of Riverdance playing barbarians: the Halfling is not a toy
**This goes doubly for gnomes.
***Even if they ask to be thrown into combat as a many-pointed projectile I am to politely decline.

[Techwarrior]

If I do throw another party member, they cannot activate Skirmish from the movement.
They also do not get to make a full attack.
Dealing Hulking Hurler damage as well is just rude.

[Sith_Happens]

* Otto's Irresistable Dance is not Gangnam Style.
* Otto's Irresistable Dance is not the Caramelldansen.
* Otto's Irresistable Dance is most definitely not the Hamster Dance.
* I may no longer cast Otto's Irresistable Dance.
** "Perform the Caramelldansen" is not a reasonable Suggestion.
*** No more Enchantment spells for me.

[Bayar]

* No longer allowed to ready an action to cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter when a flying enemy is on the opposite end of a deep chasm.
* Not allowed to say anything that Dives said.
** Especially yelling "HANDLE IT !"
*** Not allowed to quote anything Hobss ever said, under any circumstances.
* Mare Curie is not an acceptable name for any kind of character I make.
* Before starting the campaign, I have to specify my character's gender.
* If I claim to be a sorcerer, at least the DM should be informed I am actually a bard with ranks in bluff and disguise.
** Not allowed to claim I'm an elven sorceress when I'm a male dwarf bard.
*** Nor will I ever, EVER, attempt to roleplay such a character.
* There is no such thing as a sawed off sniper rifle.
** Or a double barreled Sniper Rifle.
*** Not allowed to combine the two and add a bayonet to the end of it.
* Not allowed to have a bayonet attached to the end of my greatsword, spear, or any other melee weapon.
* Just because the DM dared me to use a dwarven urgosh without proficiency or two weapon fighting doesn't mean I should accept.
* When I use "The Wanderer" as a nickname for my character, the DM has to know which wanderer I'm referencing.
** Not allowed to play a warrior that is possessed by the BBEG.
* When playing Tomb of Horrors, not allowed to just charge across corridors.
* My warlock does not have to shout "ELDRITCH BLAST" every time he uses the ability.
** Cannot shoot Eldritch Blasts from any body part except my hands.
* When using spider Climb, I have to use my whole limbs to stay attached, not allowed to walk upright at a 90 degree angle.

[Riverdance]

* Otto's Irresistable Dance is not Gangnam Style.
* Otto's Irresistable Dance is not the Caramelldansen.
* Otto's Irresistable Dance is most definitely not the Hamster Dance.
* I may no longer cast Otto's Irresistable Dance.
** "Perform the Caramelldansen" is not a reasonable Suggestion.
*** No more Enchantment spells for me.

**Otto's Irresistible Dance is always Gangnam Style!

[BootStrapTommy]

*Bears do not speak common.
**No, my bear cannot use his high Bluff skill to fake speaking common.
***No, my bear cannot use his high Disguise skill to pretend to be a human.
****No, the party may not have the one guy whose Spot check beat my Disguise check be dragged off as a lunatic for going "Hey, that's not a man. That's a bear!!"
*****No, my mount cannot be a bear. If I do, there will be bear cubs. BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!!!

[Rockphed]

*Bears do not speak common.
**No, my bear cannot use his high Bluff skill to fake speaking common.
***No, my bear cannot use his high Disguise skill to pretend to be a human.
****No, the party may not have the one guy whose Spot check beat my Disguise check be dragged off as a lunatic for going "Hey, that's not a man. That's a bear!!"

*****My disguise does not consist of a blue coat and an unhealthy obsession with Marmalade.


* Mare Curie is not an acceptable name for any kind of character I make.

**I may not make an alchemist with a bad indian accent named Mary Curry.



* If I claim to be a sorcerer, at least the DM should be informed I am actually a bard with ranks in bluff and disguise.
** Not allowed to claim I'm an elven sorceress when I'm a male dwarf bard.

*** Claiming I'm a dwarf bard pretending to be an elven sorceress, when I am actually an elven sorceress is likewise prohibited.
**** I may no longer take disguise or bluff.
***** Or illusion spells.

[Socratov]

*Bears do not speak common.
**No, my bear cannot use his high Bluff skill to fake speaking common.
***No, my bear cannot use his high Disguise skill to pretend to be a human.
****No, the party may not have the one guy whose Spot check beat my Disguise check be dragged off as a lunatic for going "Hey, that's not a man. That's a bear!!"
*****No, my mount cannot be a bear. If I do, there will be bear cubs. BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!!!
** NO I can't have a butler cohort who will convey my wishes to the party
***No,I have not been knighted, or otherwise elevated to a status where a title is granted
****I am hencheforth forbidden to have any kind of contact with the aristocracy

[Kane0]

*Bears do not speak common.
**No, my bear cannot use his high Bluff skill to fake speaking common.
***No, my bear cannot use his high Disguise skill to pretend to be a human.
****No, the party may not have the one guy whose Spot check beat my Disguise check be dragged off as a lunatic for going "Hey, that's not a man. That's a bear!!"


All these have happened in our current sandbox campaign. Hes an antipaladin in our evil party and we are having a blast

anywho,
*I will not abuse my right to use the ToB in our PF game just to prove that a crusader i made in 10 minutes out of the box beats the carefully planned paladin.
**Especially if it is only by using Thicket of Blades and similar Maneuvers
***Especially if i am convincing enough to persuade the DM into implementing ToB into the game fully, complete with TPK initiator encounters because he isnt quite familar with ToB enough to balance it against pitting us against fighters
****This is not an excuse to in turn Buff up the PF non-ToB classes.
*****You know what, lets just forget my right to use the ToB :smallamused:

[Man on Fire]

Good to see Sir Bearington is known here.

* Cannot make Monk with maximized Grapple and Lucha Libre Mask
** Cannot have name that says "Landshark" in Mexican.
*** Cannot jump at the dragon, yelling "FOR THE HONOR OF THE MASK!", grapple him even, when he flies up, make him fall from hundreds of meters, barerly survive and pin him down.
**** Cannot be declared the winner by another party member.
***** Cannot do that at third level.

[Ksheep]

* I may not institute a coloring system for gnomes, indicating how dangerous they are
** This coloring system is not multi-colored hats, with yellow being most tame (stealing shinies) while red is more dangerous (messing with explosives, but doesn't realize that actions have consequences) and black being the most deadly (natural-born magical ability, no regards to life)
*** The BBEG may not be a black-hat gnome who escaped solitary confinement and (somehow) passed himself off as a dwarf
**** No, the dwarves did NOT banish him after he nearly destroyed the nation, only for xenophobic elves to rescue him so he could plot his revenge against the gnomes and the dwarves
***** Said gnome cannot be named Discord

****** The note found clenched in the hand of a person who had been turned to stone does NOT have the lyrics to Eurobeat Brony's "Discord" written on it.
******* Nor is the refrain of "Luna" written in blood on the walls of the house that above gnome was banished to before being rescued.

[Riverdance]

*My barbarian may not dress like a luchador
**This goes double for anything anything remotely similar to the WWE.
***The WGWE (World Gnome Wrestling Entertainment Inc.) does not exist, and never shall.
****It doesn't matter how lucrative it would be.

[Ksheep]

* My Dwarven Ranger may not have Favored Enemy: Tree
** Nor may he have Favored Enemy: Carp
*** Favored Enemy: Elephant is right out

* Dwarf Bread does not consist of 50% rock (it's more like 75%)

[toapat]

* My Dwarven Ranger may not have Favored Enemy: Tree
** Nor may he have Favored Enemy: Carp
*** Favored Enemy: Elephant is right out

* Dwarf Bread does not consist of 50% rock (it's more like 75%)

****Dwarves may have Favored Enemy: Plant
*****This can not translate into an irrational terror of trees

**Dwarf cooking ingredients consist of water, Mushrooms, and Rock

[Riverdance]

****Dwarves may have Favored Enemy: Plant
*****This can not translate into an irrational terror of trees

**Dwarf cooking ingredients consist of water, Mushrooms, and Rock

***My dwarf cannot put some rocks in a pot of boiling water, call it stone soup, and try to pass it off as an ethnic dish.
****My half-orc's "fillet o' elf" special, is right out.
*****As are Gnome Mcnuggets
******And "Halfling-Sour Pickles"
*******My character's goal may not be to cook all the core races
********No more Profession(Cook) for me

[Ksheep]

***My dwarf cannot put some rocks in a pot of boiling water, call it stone soup, and try to pass it off as an ethnic dish.
****My half-orc's "fillet o' elf" special, is right out.
*****As are Gnome Mcnuggets
******And "Halfling-Sour Pickles"
*******My character's goal may not be to cook all the core races
********No more Profession(Cook) for me

********* My character's goal isn't to cook their way through all the "Races of" books either.
********** Nor is it to cook their way through all the monster manuals
*********** It most definitely is not to cook their way through the Fiend Folio, Fiendish Codex, or Elder Evils

[toapat]

***My dwarf cannot put some rocks in a pot of boiling water, call it stone soup, and try to pass it off as an ethnic dish.
****My half-orc's "fillet o' elf" special, is right out.
*****As are Gnome Mcnuggets
******And "Halfling-Sour Pickles"
*******My character's goal may not be to cook all the core races
********No more Profession(Cook) for me

****He may pass it off, but the bluff check is at -30 and anything worse then a natural 21 is a failure

*****Of course not, Fillet of Elf is too small for orc, Orc prefer Fillet of Child

[Arbane]

********* My character's goal isn't to cook their way through all the "Races of" books either.
********** Nor is it to cook their way through all the monster manuals
*********** It most definitely is not to cook their way through the Fiend Folio, Fiendish Codex, or Elder Evils

* Deities and Demigods is RIGHT OUT.

[Techwarrior]

My dwarf monk may not fluff his unarmed attacks as strikes with his beard.
My dwarf fighter may not take Weapon Focus (Beard), Weapon Specialization (Beard), Greater Weapon Focus (Beard), and Greater Weapon Specialization (Beard). Doing so does not make him a Beardmaster.
Beards do not qualify for Exotic Weapon Master under any circumstances, and likewise does not make him a Beardmaster.
I may not take the Stunning Fist and Fiery Fists feat chains and talk the DM into allowing them to instead apply to my Beard.
I cannot circumvent these rules by tying any of the following into my beard: knives, bangles, or razors. Or any other weapon for that matter.
Thickly tied braids are NOT how you make a dwarf beard a masterwork weapon, apparently that involves tying fancy rings into it.

[Reltzik]

*I will not overuse asterisks.:smalltongue:

* My Virtual Adept may not use "obfuscated C" as a focus.
** The Storyteller does NOT need the program presented to him line by line. *** Even if I DID spend an hour and a half writing it out before the session.
**** ESPECIALLY if I spent an hour and a half writing it out before the session.
***** My out-of-character quips are neither "comments" nor "asserts".
****** The malloc command does NOT allow me to implant new memories in my opponents.
******* Never, ever, ever again to offend the Storyteller's programmer sensibilities by having the first line in my Virtual Adept's program be the declaration of a septuple pointer.

[Rockphed]

******* Never, ever, ever again to offend the Storyteller's programmer sensibilities by having the first line in my Virtual Adept's program be the declaration of a septuple pointer.

So that would be a pointer to a (pointer to a (pointer to a (pointer to a (pointer to a (pointer to a (value))))))? Alternatively, it could be a 7 dimensional array.

[Riverdance]

My dwarf monk may not fluff his unarmed attacks as strikes with his beard.
My dwarf fighter may not take Weapon Focus (Beard), Weapon Specialization (Beard), Greater Weapon Focus (Beard), and Greater Weapon Specialization (Beard). Doing so does not make him a Beardmaster.
Beards do not qualify for Exotic Weapon Master under any circumstances, and likewise does not make him a Beardmaster.
I may not take the Stunning Fist and Fiery Fists feat chains and talk the DM into allowing them to instead apply to my Beard.
I cannot circumvent these rules by tying any of the following into my beard: knives, bangles, or razors. Or any other weapon for that matter.
Thickly tied braids are NOT how you make a dwarf beard a masterwork weapon, apparently that involves tying fancy rings into it.

**Strangly, strangling enemies with my braided hair and/or beard is legitimate, but it requires one hell of a grapple check, not to mention the Endurance check to withstand the hair ripping.
***I am not to dub this maneuver "Rapunzel's Fury."
****No, not even if my character is named Rapunzel.

[Flame of Anor]

Given that we're at 48 pages, it may be time to start suggesting subtitles for the next thread. Feel free to check the last few pages of the previous thread for idea (link in OP).

[Sith_Happens]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: This Thread Powered by Decanters of Endless Water

[Esprit15]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: This Thread Powered by Decanters of Endless Water

I second this. Too many shenanigans, and I swear a quarter of the things here really are 'Decanters of Endless *insert fluid here*'

[Ksheep]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Discord is NOT the BBEG

Speaking of which…
* May not have Discord show up
** May not have a dungeon designed by Discord
*** May not make everyone go insane due to said dungeon
**** Can not be surprised when entire party gets fed up with said shenanigans and is on the verge of killing each other.

[Sgt. Cookie]

How about:

Things I may no longer do while playing IV: You may not have ranks in Knowledge (Meta)

[Techwarrior]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: I may not have ALL the templates.

[Morithias]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The New Munchkin.

[jaybird]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Plan A does not mean Alchemist's Fire

[Arbane]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Plan A does not mean Alchemist's Fire

* Plan B is not 'Twice as much alchemist's fire'.

[Metahuman1]

Things I may no longer do while gaming IV: Brain bleach advised to be near buy before reading.

[Malak'ai]

No thread title ideas sorry...

But in ShadowRun...
*My Elf Mage with Body 2 is NOT allowed to outdrink the Troll Merc.
*My Elf Mage may NOT use the mains cables of a 40 story office building to 'jump start' said Trolls cyberheart when he is dying.
**Especially if I have no advanced medical training.
***Even more so when I'm one away from a 'Deadly' wound.
****Doing it without taking ANY damage myself is right out.
*My Human Merc can no longer use any sort of HMG that is attached to the Orc Riggers van.
**Especially if the Orc Rigger has "jerryrigged" a custom harness and mount for said HMG.
***Going full-auto and suffering NO recoil what so ever until the last few shots is right out. (Don't ask me how, the Riggers player did all the math and the GM agreed)
****Doing this while travelling 180m/ph down the motorway with LoneStar and Aztecnology response teams following, and hitting with every single shot is just no.
*No longer allowed to have a Human Street Sam based off Quentin Tarantino characters.
**Nor off Robert Rodriguez characters.
*My Elf Merc is no longer allowed to carry di-coated Gladius'.
**Deul Wielding them is right out.
***Especially if he uses them similar to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNbT9HOmIuw&feature=related).

[Sgt. Cookie]

Were you using Edge, or was the troll just really unlucky and got a critical glitch or something?

[Malak'ai]

This was about 9-10 years ago.
I can't remember exactly what pool I rolled from, but I needed an 8 to succeed in just touching him with the cables, had 2 dice, both of them came up 6's, then I got a 5 and a 1.
And no, he just got shot to hell and back (remote sentry turrets). The Shaman (who had First Aid) stopped his bleeding but the shock caused his cyberheart to stop. The party "Medic" was another Merc who was down due to stun, all I could think of was "need a big electric shock", lucky (and kinda coincidental) the building fuse box was in the alleyway we had dragged him into.

[Lord_Gareth]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: I Cannot Skip IV When Counting

[Balmas]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Discord is NOT the BBEG.

You've got my vote!

*My bard is not Pinkie Pie
**Any characters even resembling Pinkie Pie will be summarily executed.
** I do not have a party cannon, or any other manner of celebratory munition.
***Bass cannons are forbidden as well.
*I may not play a drow wizard whose only spell is prismatic spray.
**Especially if her name is Twilight Sparkle.
*Anything mimicking ponies shall be smitten with extreme prejudice
**Unless it's Trixie. Trixie's cool.

*I may not have a fez.

[Riverdance]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing JJJ: It Doesn't Work That Way

[Qwertystop]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing JJJ: It Doesn't Work That Way

Gets my vote.

[Riverdance]

If only this was the fifth thread. Then it could be
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing W: It Doesn't Work That Way
Flows a little smoother

[enderlord99]

*I am not a robot. I am not a unicorn, either. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY)
**If I break the second sentence in the above rule, and am also a wizard, I may not be purple.
***If I break that rule as well, then I still may not use the same name as anyone else fitting the same bizarre description.
****Unless, of course, that given name describes the dm's setting, and the corresponding surname is something a certain form of undead does in it when it should be turning to ash. In such a case... he deserves it.
*****Especially if he claimed it would be a serious campaign.

[Riverdance]

I really want to get that but I do not. Is it a reference to Charlie the Unicorn? I don't remember what he looked like.

[toapat]

I really want to get that but I do not. Is it a reference to Charlie the Unicorn? I don't remember what he looked like.

its My Little Pony's Twilight Sparkle he is talking about.

its like, the 10th time thats happened in this thread

[Metahuman1]

It starts as a reference to one of the main characters in the current generation of My Little Pony. The characters name is Twilight Sparkle. Which he ends as a reference to the Twilight Book/Movie series. The one's with the Vampires that sparkle in the sun light instead of burning.

[Riverdance]

its My Little Pony's Twilight Sparkle he is talking about.

its like, the 10th time thats happened in this thread

Ah, I should have guessed.

[Amidus Drexel]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: My Thread Title May Not Include Hypodermic Needles, Nor Saline Solution

[Techwarrior]

the Twilight Book/Movie series. The one's with the Vampires that sparkle in the sun light instead of burning.

Those aren't Vampires

1. Sparkles
2 Lives in forest
3 Are vegetarians

They're pixies. :smallbiggrin:

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Source books are not a valid thrown weapon.

[TuggyNE]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Source books are not a valid thrown weapon.

That seems far more apropos to a "... While DMing" thread.


I really gotta say the Decanters of Endless X seems like the best one so far. :smallamused:

[Balmas]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: I may not lead a hostile rebellion against the DM

[Ksheep]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: I May No Longer Worship the DM

[Chookster]

Things I may no longer do while playing IV: Not allowed to be that guy

[Blightedmarsh]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: I may no longer take ranks in Profession (Any)

[Kelb_Panthera]

Things I may no longer do while playing IV: I may not use the "things I may no longer do while playing" threads as character inspiration

[Arcanist]

Things I may not do while playing IV: Allow this thread to reach 50 pages.

[Socratov]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: No, I can't make a Healing potion IV

[TuggyNE]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: No, I can't make a Healing potion IV

... What? :smallconfused:

[jaybird]

... What? :smallconfused:

IV stands for IntraVenous Drip, I believe. you know, those bags of stuff you see patients wandering around hospitals with on steel poles that have needles going into their arms?

[Kelb_Panthera]

IV stands for IntraVenous Drip, I believe. you know, those bags of stuff you see patients wandering around hospitals with on steel poles that have needles going into their arms?

Ah, now I see. He and I both read IV as four both times. If it had been written I.V. it would've been clearer.

Punctuation is our friend. :smallbiggrin::smalltongue:

[Bayar]

* Not allowed to use the transport helicopter as a weapon in an assassination mission.
** Especially if it means we have to ram it into the hotel penthouse.
* Yes, the hotel is on an artificial island in the middle of the ocean and there probably is a military harbor nearby. No, it does not mean we can go there to hijack any ship.
** That goes double for nuclear submarines with ballistic missiles.
*** Aircraft carriers are still ships and I may not circumvent this rule by hijacking anything on the carrier.
* Kidnapping the obvious enemy agents that are pretending to be a couple and tying them up in their own room is fine. Killing them afterwards is unnecessary. ESPECIALLY after finishing the mission.
** No, I cannot dispose of their corpses by chopping them up and dissolving the chunks in a bath tub filled with acid.
*** No, I cannot have acid anyway.
**** If I have to kill the enemy agents, I will do it with a lethal injection or other subtle way, not by shooting them with their own pistols.
***** Throwing the bodies out the window afterwards will not help us make it look like a suicide, especially when they have bullet holes in their heads and no weapons nearby.
* Taking control of the security station and reprogramming the sentry guns to kill our targets is a good idea. Shooting the VIP that has to survive just to wound him and divert suspicion from the faction he represents is questionable.
* If I play poker with the president of the North American Republic, I will not convince him to sell me fighter airplanes cheaply. Especially if the mission involves killing him the next day.
* No more heavy drinking during assassination missions.



* Not allowed to call our party the B Team.

God, we had the best black ops EVER.

[Balmas]

So, looking at the thread titles that have received two votes:


Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Discord is NOT the BBEG
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: This Thread Powered by Decanters of Endless Water
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing JJJ: It Doesn't Work That Way


Shall we commence voting, now that we've hit 50?

My vote goes for "Discord is NOT the BBEG."

[vasharanpaladin]

So, looking at the thread titles that have received two votes:


Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: Discord is NOT the BBEG
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: This Thread Powered by Decanters of Endless Water
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing JJJ: It Doesn't Work That Way


Shall we commence voting, now that we've hit 50?

My vote goes for "Discord is NOT the BBEG."

Seconded! :smallbiggrin:

[Flemkopf]

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: This Thread Powered by Decanters of Endless Water

This one gets my vote.
Also
*May not dig a shaft from the top of a mountain almost to a planet's mantle, create a diving bell with Decanters of Endless Water on the bottom and launch into orbit on a steam powered cannon.
**May not use it as a base while I work with the party wizard to teleport large sheets of steel into orbit in order to make an interstellar ship.
***May not name said ship the spellship Enterprise, use alter self to give my gnome large ears, and start quoting the rules of acquisition.
****If I do I will have a run in with the Ferengi Commerce Authority who will have all my possessions confiscated, without returning me to the primary world in our campaign first.

[Rockphed]

My vote goes for the JJJ one.

[The-Mage-King]

Mine to the Decanters one.

[Winds]

I also vote Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: This Thread Powered by Decanters of Endless Water.


*My tendency to snark requires that I find a signal for OOC.
**Failure may result in...interesting circumstances.
***Supplanting the more diplomatic paladin as party face due to this may not be the wisest move.

[Kelb_Panthera]

Throw mine in for decanters too.

[Amidus Drexel]

Vote for the JJJ one.

Also

*My intimidate bonus does not work on the DM
**It most definitely will not get me extra exp

[Afool]

Another vote for Endless Decanter of Water.

[TuggyNE]

A possible variant is "... Decanters of Endless Bad Ideas". :smallbiggrin:

[Sith_Happens]

A possible variant is "... Decanters of Endless Bad Ideas". :smallbiggrin:

Me likey. Variant submission:

Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Kane0]

My vote also for Decanters.

*I may no longer homebrew while playing a session/campaign.
**I may no longer propose said homebrew to be used by the BBEG against us
***I may no longer be suprised when the fight suddenly gets a lot harder as the BBEG shows up with a lackey possessing my homebrew in tow.
****I certainly may no longer counter this with more homebrew for the party

[Balmas]

And it's decanters by a landslide!

So, do we want Decanter of endless water, or decanter of endless bad ideas?


*My character may not lay plumbing throughout the entire kingdom and call it the internet.
**Even if he is a plumber.
***Traveling through the pipes is out as well.
****Even if you're a plumber/druid, you can't have a dinosaur animal companion.

[Morithias]

Bad ideas. I want bad ideas.

[Ksheep]

I agree, bad ideas.

* The Deck of Illusions is NOT a Yu-Gi-Oh deck
** No, the gnomes do NOT have a series of arenas to play Yu-Gi-Oh in
*** No, you may NOT replace your opponent's deck with a Deck of Many Things and hope he doesn't notice.

[Morithias]

I agree, bad ideas.

* The Deck of Illusions is NOT a Yu-Gi-Oh deck
** No, the gnomes do NOT have a series of arenas to play Yu-Gi-Oh in
*** No, you may NOT replace your opponent's deck with a Deck of Many Things and hope he doesn't notice.

**** We cannot face off the fiendbinder and the illusionist to settle "Which is better pokemon or yu-gi-oh."

[toapat]

**** We cannot face off the fiendbinder and the illusionist to settle "Which is better pokemon or yu-gi-oh."

*****considering the question is rigged, as the correct answer is MTG
******No, just because we got better acquainted with them as kids, and they had TV shows does not make them better
*******Pokemon even moreso, because the card game was nigh-unrelated to the TVshow

[Morithias]

*****considering the question is rigged, as the correct answer is MTG
******No, just because we got better acquainted with them as kids, and they had TV shows does not make them better
*******Pokemon even moreso, because the card game was nigh-unrelated to the TVshow

******** I was more refering to the fact that the fiendbinder captures fiends and summons them to do battle for him rather than anything card related. On that note.
* I am not allowed to say "I choose you" whenever I summon a fiend.
** I am not allowed to create tiny balls to hold fiends inside for portability.
*** I am not allowed to learn a demonlord's truename and command him into one of those tiny balls.

[Kelb_Panthera]

******** I was more refering to the fact that the fiendbinder captures fiends and summons them to do battle for him rather than anything card related. On that note.
* I am not allowed to say "I choose you" whenever I summon a fiend.
** I am not allowed to create tiny balls to hold fiends inside for portability.
*** I am not allowed to learn a demonlord's truename and command him into one of those tiny balls.

****** I will not bind any of the demon princes or archdukes of hell, even if I do find their truenames, because that's kind of like putting a saddle on a tornado. It'll be a hell of a ride (forgive the pun) but it's just not going to end well.

[Morithias]

****** I will not bind any of the demon princes or archdukes of hell, even if I do find their truenames, because that's kind of like putting a saddle on a tornado. It'll be a hell of a ride (forgive the pun) but it's just not going to end well.

******* I am not allowed to bind Glasya and Fierna in order to have a private three person party. (I pray I do not get in trouble for writing this)

[Kelb_Panthera]

******* I am not allowed to bind Glasya and Fierna in order to have a private three person party. (I pray I do not get in trouble for writing this)

You're probably in the clear. There's a clean way to look at that sentence after all. (Probably more not so clean ways to look at it though.)

[Lord_Gareth]

You're probably in the clear. There's a clean way to look at that sentence after all. (Probably more not so clean ways to look at it though.)

Kelb, that sentence contains both Glasya and Fierna. Even if he said, "in order to kill them and banish their souls forever," it'd manage to be unclean :p

[Arcanist]

******* I am not allowed to bind Glasya and Fierna in order to have a private three person party. (I pray I do not get in trouble for writing this)

Completely flew over my head and I didn't notice it until Kelb and Gareth made me think about it :smalltongue:

(last 3 comments of the thread... leave us with something funny...)

[Sith_Happens]

******* I am not allowed to bind Glasya and Fierna in order to have a private three person party. (I pray I do not get in trouble for writing this)

Don't worry, you're like the fourth person to suggest truename-binding Glasya and/or Fierna for "recreational purposes.":smallwink:

******** I may not bind Asmodeous using his truename for the purpose of borrowing the Ruby Rod and using it to "spice up" the above party in any fashion.

[Kelb_Panthera]

Don't worry, you're like the fourth person to suggest truename-binding Glasya and/or Fierna for "recreational purposes.":smallwink:

******** I may not bind Asmodeous using his truename for the purpose of borrowing the Ruby Rod and using it to "spice up" the above party in any fashion.

:smalleek: That one may be crossing the line.

It triggered my squick detector and mine's not particularly sensitive.

[Sith_Happens]

:smalleek: That one may be crossing the line.

It triggered my squick detector and mine's not particularly sensitive.

* Craft (Squick) is not a valid skill.
* There is no such spell as Detect Squick.

(P.S.– first post after this one is page 51.)