Have you ever kept something from a failed relationship?

[GoblinGilmartin]

Have you ever kept something given to you as a gift by an ex boyfriend or girl friend, even if they wanted it back? What was it and why? Is it important to you? This is research i am doing for a script, in case you want to know why i would ask such a personal question. Particularly bad break ups are especially important.

[RabbitHoleLost]

I have a tshirt from every relationship I've had since I was seventeen, with the exception of one.
I steal my boyfriend/girlfriends tshirts. I can't help it. Its like an illness:smalltongue:

[Em Blackleaf]

I have like half a dozen video games my ex boyfriend lent me while we were dating. I didn't think to give them back to him before I broke up with him and I don't have the heart the play them. And now it's too late to just go to his house and give them to him. It'd be wicked awkward. It's like 50% of why I wanna be friends again. >.>

[Karen Lynn]

Ehhh... This'll make me sound like a creep, but my ex was getting her hair cut short, and had tied it off in little ribbons. She came to school the next day with short hair and gave me a lock of her hair...

Still have it...

[Reluctance]

Psychological scars. Lots and lots of psychological scars.

[Fri]

Psychological scars. Lots and lots of psychological scars.

These ones.

[Coidzor]

She never asked for them back, but I have a cat bobblehead with the headshot of my ex fiance as well as a little homemade book she made for me that's hard to classify exactly what it is aside from containing love poetry and some love lettery type things.

These are buried in a drawer somewhere that's technically in my possession at least.

[The Extinguisher]

Does this count? I have a few things that my old roommate left here. We used to date, but we broke up long before she moved in.

[Mikhailangelo]

I'm a hoarder - I've kept everything from everything.

They've never wanted anything back, so I've never had to return anything, however, quite probably because it's nothing important.

My ex, on the other hand, still has my copy of the Picture of Dorian Gray, the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Frankenstein.

It's got to the point that I forced myself to repurchase copies of the above from a second hand book store.

[golentan]

I have a little penguin pin from an old flame I hung onto.

[Vacant]

I don't believe I have ever kept anything that I've been asked to return, but otherwise I've kept most anything given to me. Often they're important to me since they represent fond memories of something which was at least somewhat nice while it lasted, regardless of how poorly it ended.

The best example is my most recent ex-girlfriend's single pair of pants. After the first few months of dating and briefly being tricked by jeggings, I became entirely certain she wore only skirts and dresses and had literally no pants. For the next few months, I mocked her on the subject until she angrily bought a pair of pants to put an end to my snide remarks. Then she moved away and, when returning her stuff, deliberately kept the pants in the hopes that someday, when her fancy New York City boyfriend doesn't make fun of her about it, she remembers her old fella back in Rhode Island and remembers that, for a brief moment, he was an endearing jackass.

[Balain]

Well From my last ex-girlfriend (as an example) I have pictures of us from trips, love letters she sent me, games and movies she gave me as gifts. They were gifts so why would she ask for them back. On the other hand we both had stuff that was borrowed from the other. Those things we returned to each other.

There was a girl I went out with for maybe two months. I had lent her some books and movies she wanted to read and watch. After the break up she never returned the books. I even left messages with her a few times. Years later I had to buy them all again.

Something like an engagement ring, I think should be given back if either one calls off the wedding.

[noparlpf]

Psychological scars. Lots and lots of psychological scars.

I probably have a couple of those. I know I learned half of my neuroses from her.

Anyway, hmm...she didn't want anything back except for her stuff I was borrowing, like games. I remember walking over when she wasn't home to swap Tetris DS for my house key that she had left with her mother, and I returned her PS2, games, and DDR pad. When I returned some gift she had given me she sent it back with an angry note. So I still have those things. I also think I passive-aggressively kept her Action Replay DS for a long time, but then later I felt like an ass, so I mailed it back to her.

[Castaras]

Still have the tantrix, fluxx and munchkin bites he gave me as a christmas present. And at home somewhere there's the pretty purple book he gave me, and my copy of The Redemption of Althalus. :smallsmile:

Wasn't a bad bad breakup... though there was a lot of hurt due to misunderstandings and awkward coincidences - and of course, the fact that it was a breakup after 2 and a bit years of going out. And we don't talk any more.

If that helps. :smallsmile:

[Aedilred]

I have quite a few things - various gifts from Christmasses/birthdays, whatever. Most of them are either books or clothes, but I don't really consider them "gifts from her" so much as I do "mine", and I don't really think about it unless someone compliments me on a particular item of clothing and I have to think about where I got it from.

I do have one of her books and a CD of hers that I have always intended to give back but have never had the opportunity - I gave her back all the stuff that was on loan from her when we split up, but these were things that I'd lost in my room, forgotten I had and only found when I moved out a couple of months later.

I also have a birthday card from her from about five or six years ago. I kept it at the time because it was funny, but, although it was obviously meant to satirise our relationship, it was actually pretty near the mark, and sums up fairly accurately why it failed (or at least, the official reason). So I've kept that.

[Objection]

The only thing I ever kept from a failed relationship was a present I never got round to giving her. The only reason I kept it was because I kept forgetting to get rid of it.

[Jack Squat]

I've kept every gift/picture/etc. They never asked for anything back (which would be weird, IMO). The gifts were mainly music/movies, T-shirts, and hats, and I still use them. The pictures are stuck in the back of a desk, I haven't seen the point in getting rid of them, but there's no reason to display them either. I returned everything I was borrowing.

Now I don't know what they did with the stuff I gave them, and I haven't given it much thought, though I assume it's still lying around somewhere rather than having been ceremoniously burned (which I have seen someone do after a particularly messy break-up).

[arguskos]

Psychological scars. Lots and lots of psychological scars.
Damn right.

I also have a few gifts from my various ex's. From one, I kept a specific song that really resonated with me. From another, I kept a necklace with a great deal of significance to me. That one also gave me a small pocket knife that I kept. The third... ok, she's just the emotional scarring. :smallsigh:

tl;dr: Yeah, I kept stuff from them. Nah, I don't want to give it back. Yes, I want my stuff back from the more recent one dammit. Bitch kept my favorite sandals. :smallannoyed:

[Orzel]

A couple.

I still have one of my ex's plush cats.
And another's earrings and broken ipod.
And another's hatred to certain sports teams.
And a few psychological and one physical scars

[Karoht]

Certain items of unmentionable nature.
Experience. Loads of it.

Some memories I am extremely fond of despite utterly despising the person/s in question.
A few items of clothing, some photos.

Baggage. The real kind, surprisingly little of the emotional kind.


Technically I met my fiance through bizarre circumstances as a result of the actions of my most recent ex. Bizarre enough to suggest that my fiance counts.

[Juggling Goth]

The ex I have most stuff from is now one of my best friends, so I guess that doesn't count. Every now and again she'll go, "Oi! You've still got my book of Allen Ginsberg poems!" and I'll be like, "Oops, crap!"

[GoblinGilmartin]

I'm noticing a pattern of books, articles of clothing, Cd's, games, jewlery, aaannnnnd... human hair. Cools. i'm thinking that a t shirt or something would be good for my purposes, or possibly a book, any suggestions as to books one would lend to someone?

[meto30]

About two hundred love letters I received from my former girlfriend, most of which were exchanged when I was in active military service. They were all sealed with wax (she liked the classical atmosphere the wax gave the letters) and I keep the letters along with the wax. I also keep the envelopes they were sent in.

EDIT: Oh, and I also keep all pictures I drew of her. I think I have about 20 pictures spread out across my self-collections.

[Moff Chumley]

Psychological scars. Lots and lots of psychological scars.

Tell me about it. :smallannoyed: She can have 'em back whenever she wants.

[arguskos]

Tell me about it. :smallannoyed: She can have 'em back whenever she wants.
Son, if I could take 'em back, I would. Sorry for all that. :smalltongue:

But seriously, yeah, what this wise man said. Really, if any of my ex's want the emotional damage back, they can have it. :smallyuk:

[Sturmcrow]

Have you ever kept something given to you as a gift by an ex boyfriend or girl friend, even if they wanted it back? What was it and why? Is it important to you? This is research i am doing for a script, in case you want to know why i would ask such a personal question. Particularly bad break ups are especially important.

I have lots of things. Once I had matured I decided it was in bad taste to give something given as a gift back just because a relationship ended.

I have a lot of shirts, two signed chap books, a Katana.... a lot of things from my last relationship, though it was a 10 year one so I guess stuff accumulates. We had split up before and even then I kept the pictures she had sent me while she was in another State. Pretty much everything I have from her is very important to me.

[Sturmcrow]

I'm noticing a pattern of books, articles of clothing, Cd's, games, jewlery, aaannnnnd... human hair. Cools. i'm thinking that a t shirt or something would be good for my purposes, or possibly a book, any suggestions as to books one would lend to someone?

Well, a book that was important to the person lending it I would suggest that it fits their character or reveals something about it.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Does an insensitive phobia count? Because I've gotten at least one from my (as of now only) Ex.

[Coidzor]

Does an insensitive phobia count? Because I've gotten at least one from my (as of now only) Ex.

Ouch, those are always rough. Somehow ended up with a girlfriend with a phobia of the nude male form for a bit though. Would always mumble something about an ex boyfriend who had trouble keeping his pants on or something...

[Moff Chumley]

Ouch, those are always rough. Somehow ended up with a girlfriend with a phobia of the nude male form for a bit though. Would always mumble something about an ex boyfriend who had trouble keeping his pants on or something...

That is what we in the business refer to as "unfortunate". For all parties involved. :smalltongue:

[GoblinGilmartin]

Oh dear, well folks, i thank you for your stories, but let's reign it in. i think i habe a general direction to go on. Thank you all.:smallbiggrin:

[golentan]

Ouch, those are always rough. Somehow ended up with a girlfriend with a phobia of the nude male form for a bit though. Would always mumble something about an ex boyfriend who had trouble keeping his pants on or something...

Yeah... Dated a self avowed lesbian for a while. Sex was awkward and completely one sided as to who was allowed to have their organs visible. Or involved at all.

[Karoht]

I realized another thing I kept from a previous relationship or two.

Catch phrases and some other speech patterns.
I won't bore you with specifics though, as they are all or mostly contextual and context would take a while.

I also keep a burning hatred for Polenta (I'm exaggerating) due to my most previous ex.

I'm sure there are other likes/dislikes related to a few of my ex's that I have kept.

[Coidzor]

Ah, that reminds me, I developed a taste for cajun food and other spicy things due to my ex-fiance's love of it from having spent most of her life in Baton Rouge.

[noparlpf]

My frequent use of the word "dude" came from my ex. I also picked up a liking for some music and TV shows from her.

[Starwulf]

Yeah... Dated a self avowed lesbian for a while. Sex was awkward and completely one sided as to who was allowed to have their organs visible. Or involved at all.

I...have to say, I'm truly confused, and even a bit flabbergasted. Why would(if you're a guy, which previous posts have led me to believe) you date a a lesbian? And then, engage in any sexual activity with said lesbian, and express any sort of surprise that they won't allow you to bring out your own sexual organ? I'm so confused by this statement, my head is about to asplode.

[Coidzor]

Certainly beats my crazy lesbian ex story. Mine was just dating me to have a beard to distract her mom so she could have a prom date at all. And then lied to everyone and told them that she had been up front to me about my being a beard and got them to actually believe that I was some kind of bastard.

And then before we broke up because of this, started cybering(and, y'know, not even properly with some reciprocation, more along the lines of golentan's actual experiences) with my best friend, who was also male. And he actually believed her lies about telling me from the get go and how that made her deciding to kiss me full on the lips into "sexual assault" on my part because of his blind puppy dog devotion to her and because she made it abundantly clear that she was a lesbian from the get go when they started dating.

And then before she could work up the nerve to dump him, she had to start canceling on him, lying that she broke her leg at a LGBTA group's dance social where she got carried home by the girl she then proceeded to openly start trying to date while sponging off of his misplaced emotional support for her until she finally broke off all contact with him because he was being so creepy and spineless about "wanting what was best for her" because he was so "devoted" to her.:smallyuk:

Best thing is, they both hate me forever for being annoyed at them for having a lovey-dovey internet conversation while he was on my computer and I wanted it back and so I told them to make up their minds one way or the other but I wanted my bloody computer back and that they could do it on someone else's time, such as their own time rather than mine.

[AtlanteanTroll]

I dunno'. My Ex "decided" she was trans right before she dumped me and pretty much blamed it on me. :smallannoyed:

[GoblinGilmartin]

{Scrubbed}

[golentan]

I...have to say, I'm truly confused, and even a bit flabbergasted. Why would(if you're a guy, which previous posts have led me to believe) you date a a lesbian? And then, engage in any sexual activity with said lesbian, and express any sort of surprise that they won't allow you to bring out your own sexual organ? I'm so confused by this statement, my head is about to asplode.

So, here's the story in a nutshell. Friend is self avowed lesbian. Friend puts the moves on me late one night. Friend admits to being bisexual. Friend and I begin sharing regular make out sessions, make outs progress to further things. Friend goes back to claiming lesbian-ness, but wishes to continue making use of my talents while unwilling to reciprocate. I am slightly frustrated but okay with this. Relationship continues with sex as a relatively minor stumbling block.

I wasn't so much surprised by her unwillingness as mildly frustrated by it, on the grounds that we would spend a couple hours in passion where my interest got ramped up massively after which I would have to deal with my side myself (which, as you may guess, kind of a let down).

[Ceric]

Catch phrases and some other speech patterns.

Oh man. I have so many of these. My ex is also the reason why I sometimes type in all lowercase and chatspeak abbreviations, despite always having perfect grammar prior to our relationship. I go back and forth now, depending on how lazy I'm feeling.

[Wyntonian]

This is going to sound really random, but a wooden frog. I found this cool piece of wood and whittled into a cute little frog thing about the size of my fist, sanded it, varnished it, whole deal. She loved frogs, too. She dumped me (Through an email, no less) before I got a chance to give it to her, so now it's in a little box on my desk.

I was proud of that little guy, too. It was pretty quality work.

[Moff Chumley]

{Scrub the post, scrub the quote}

Nothing in this thread is off topic; it might not be what you had in mind when you made the thread, but that's not really important. It's not your thread, it's everyone's thread. Basically, I'm not sure what you're seeing in this thread that you don't think belongs here. :smallconfused:

[Starwulf]

Nothing in this thread is off topic; it might not be what you had in mind when you made the thread, but that's not really important. It's not your thread, it's everyone's thread. Basically, I'm not sure what you're seeing in this thread that you don't think belongs here. :smallconfused:

Thank you ^^ You said exactly what I have been wanting to say since the first time he asked us all to stop posting, but a lot more diplomatically(I couldn't really figure out a good way to say "Hey, the thread doesn't belong to you anymore, get over it". But yeah, the thread has evolved a bit, but still retains the majority of it's original intent. I see no reason to stop the discussions(they are quite interesting to read), just because the OP has heard enough.

[Coidzor]

I dunno'. My Ex "decided" she was trans right before she dumped me and pretty much blamed it on me. :smallannoyed:

Oh, wow. That person really didn't grok what being trans was all about. :smalleek:

Wyntonian: That sounds pretty impressive.

[The Succubus]

This is going to sound really random, but a wooden frog. I found this cool piece of wood and whittled into a cute little frog thing about the size of my fist, sanded it, varnished it, whole deal. She loved frogs, too. She dumped me (Through an email, no less) before I got a chance to give it to her, so now it's in a little box on my desk.

I was proud of that little guy, too. It was pretty quality work.

I'd be interested in seeing a piccie of the aforementioned croaker.

[GoblinGilmartin]

:smallamused:
I can see when i've been overruled. I was just trying to stem the flow of people pouring their hearts out. We all have problems. But i suppose the semi-anonymous internet is the best place to do it. I actually do want to hear some of these stories. I also have a Chasing Amy style story.

[Wyntonian]

I'll try to figure out my roommate's digital camera. I've never needed to post pictures before, but I'll get something up.

[Solaris]

Psychological scars. Lots and lots of psychological scars.

No kidding. I'm honest enough to admit it went both ways. I'm not an easy person to get along with.

[polity4life]

Numerous CDs and movies that were just left behind. I did hold onto a bedding set simply because it was far superior to anything else I had at the time.

I wish I would have kept my physical condition from my last relationship. It was nice to be able to actually run a marathon. Now my current girlfriend wears my old jeans to work in while she's painting, melting and/or casting metal, or whatever else she does that simply destroys fabric...but I digress.

Do old hetero-lifemate roommates count? If so, then I have a bunch of flatware for reasons beyond me. I don't know how I acquired his plates and I should give them back; I just keep forgetting when I see him.

In terms of work relationships, I have copious amounts of pens and legal pads. I think I was just being vindictive when I gathered those. :smallamused: