Fragments of a Momento: A Story

[CeresianMemento]

Hello, I'm CeresianMomento, and I'm here to tell a story. I've been working on a setting for the past few months, planning ideas and possible events. However, I've also decided that I wanted my story to contain a large number of choices that would have a series of consequences. However, as I know how each decision would play out, since I'm the one writing this thing, I thought that it would be best to let the general public, A.K.A anyone who happens upon this, to decide what the protagonists choose to do.

Every now and again a choice will present itself which can change the way the story is going in some form or another. Some choices will only have minor consequences, while others will change the very way the rest of the story plays out. No matter what, however, each decision is significant, and therefore should not be taken lightly. Each individual (registered users only) will be allowed one vote for every major decision. I accept either PMs or standard posts for votes, but I do prefer PMs, as they don't clutter up the forum and keep voting anonymous. I also accept reviews, but I prefer them to be posted in the forum, rather than being PM'd. That way I can tell which criticisms relate to which segments of the story more easily, and therefore react to the reviews in an appropriate manner accordingly. Reviews are highly useful to me, as they allow me to stroke my ego... I mean, enable me to better understand my audience and improve as a writer.

So what does everyone think? If anyone likes this idea, just tell me and I'll describe the setting in detail, before beginning the story. The setting's description will only take one post, if all goes well, so don't worry about it blocking out the story. Just one or two people showing interest will be enough to get me started.

[bladescape]

Post ze story idea!

This reminds me of some of the Forum Style 'Let's Play's' I've seen. Where forumites get a say in what happens.:smallbiggrin:

[CeresianMemento]

Right, here's a description of the setting. Sorry if it isn't up to scratch; I only spent about twenty minutes or so on this. Anyway...

Oainm is an example of a world altered by events beyond its control. Not wars of men, which result in conflicts that may be ended with mere actions, but by forces of nature that none may understand.

Oainm, like any self-respecting fantasy world, bears a number of similarties to Earth. All living things strive to survive, to slake their thirst with water, to discover the new and remember the old. But Oainm itself differs from Earth for three select reasons. Firstly, Oainm is only two-thirds the size of Earth. This may seem like a fairly trival concern, but due to Oainm's unique orbit around its sun, Rainoa, Oainm's north pole is perfectly level with the middle of the sun. The north-most continent on Oainm, Cotta, is a desolate place because of this, and any known attempts to settle Cotta have resulted in ruin. Meanwhile, Oainm's south pole is firmly planted within a land of perpetual snow and ice, colder than even Earth's Antartica. As Rainoa shines directly on Cotta, Cycane, the continent on which the south pole is located on, recieves little light and is in turn an otherworldly place where the darkness is broken only by the light of the stars and the shimmering miracle of the Aurora Cycanis, Oainm's equilivant to the Aurora Australis. Thirdly and finally, Oaimn does not tilt on its axis as Earth does, and its orbit is a perfect circle. This means that the days of Oainm do not lengthen or shorten, nor should it be possible for different seasons to take place. Despite this, Oainm does experience seasonal change. However, unlike on Earth, where the Northern Hemisphere would experience winter while the Southern Hemisphere would experience summer, the world is split into four quadrants, which each experience one of three different seasons. For example, if the first quadrant was to be currently experiencing summer, then the third quandrant would experience winter, and the second and fourth quadrants would undergo a season of standard temperature, akin to a hybrid of spring and autumn, which is referred to as equinox. Returning to the point of Oainm not having a tilt on its axis, the continent of Cotta is forever baked by the harsh light of day, while Cycane is doomed to forever remain in an eternal night.

Other than Cotta and Cycane, other continents do exist on Oainm. However, the world is yet to be fully explored, and therefore one cannot rattle off the names of every land in the world without being pleasantly surprised at some point or another by some new island. Only three other continents have been known to exist as of this time by civilization: Reama, Asutaun and Caleros. Reama and Asutaun both exist mainly in the first quadrant of the planet, their combined landmass making it possible to travel from the edge of Cycane to the edge of Cotta without needed to sail for any more than a few weeks in total. Caleros, however, exists in both the second and third quadrants of Oainm, and is just off-centre of the equator, giving it a near-perfect temperature. Once thought to be a new world, Caleros has become something of a backwater, as people have slowly edged their way back to Reama, the cradle of mankind, and Asutaun, the caretaker of a forgotten land. Caleros lacks the climate that mankind has become acustomed to over the millenia that the southern parts of Reama so readily provides, or the chance to discover vast riches that Asutaun has boasted for some time. Caleros has laid forgotten by the world, like a toy left abandoned by a child who drops it when he hears his mother call to him. It is therefore ironic that our story should start there, in a place populated by less then a tenth of the people of the world. No matter the conclusion our story reaches, Caleros will be remembered as the place were a legend was born, no matter how the story ends.

...What does everyone think?

[CeresianMemento]

Here's the first segment of the story

Fragments of a Memento
Chapter 1: Into the Woods
'Remind me again why we agreed to this?'
'Because I need help and you need money.'
'Yes, you DO need help, if you seriously think that this is going to be remotely dangerous.'
'Shut it, Lyle!'
'Make me!'
'Adrian! Get Lyle to stop bothering me!''
'Quit it, both of you. You're giving me a headache!'

Three youths, now considerably annoyed at one another, can be seen bickering with one another as they make their way through a particularly dense forest. The first speaker, a young man with a sharp tongue, is wearing leather armour, which is studded with pieces of steel. The metal parts of his protective outfit shine in the sun, undamaged by combat and glowing flawlessly, a result of constant polishing, night after night. His blonde hair also catches the sunlight, and the pommel of his bronze short sword can be seen by his side. His name is LYLE CARTER. The second speaker is a young, and reasonably good-looking, woman, who cannot be any older than seventeen. She has brown hair and brown eyes and is, unlike Lyle, unequipped for combat. She bears no weapon, unless she is capable of wielding a basket in a lethal manner. She also wears a dress, although it looks to have been made with practicality in mind, rather than simple beauty. Her name is DOLEEN CAPRICA. Our third and final individual also sports brown hair and his green eyes carefully scan the landscape, hoping to find what he had come looking for. He has a weapon in his hand; a small wooden spear, which is hardly a match for Lyle's sword. He also lacks armour, instead opting to wear clothes made out of woven cotton, which is hardly a proper substitute to actual protective gear. His name is ADRIAN AUTUMN, and he is currently wondering what made him think that joining this little expedition was a good idea.

'So what's this herb that we're supposed to look for?' Lyle asks, impatient with the slow pace of movement that Adrian and Doleen appear to have adopted. 'For the last time, Lyle, it's called Aroma Corsair.' Doleen replied. The young man huffed in response; rolling his eyes in annoyance. 'I know what it's CALLED,' he told her. 'I want to know what it does, exactly. If I find out that you dragged me out here all because you wanted something to flavor your stew, then -' 'It's not used to season meals, you twit,' Doleen replied snarkily. 'It's used to make a mild drug which acts as a useful placebo in lieu of standard anesthetic. And as you already know, Dad's clinic is running low on supplies, and he won't have another chance to get anymore until the end of next month. He would have more medicine in stock,' she continued, her face darkening, 'if you and your buddies from the temple guards weren't so freaking suicidal!' 'What do you mean, "Suicidal"?' Lyle retorted, but he was quickly cut off again by Doleen. 'You keep doing these stupid jaunts that get you injured! Not to mention that some of the things you and your so-called friends have done have bordered on the psychopathic! Like that time with Mrs. Velvet's cat!' 'We thought that it was a witch...' Lyle trailed off. 'It was a freaking three-month-old kitten! Poor Tidas was traumatized for half a year!' '...Drevin thought that it looked like a monster in disguise.' 'Don't get me started on that maniac.' Doleen sighed, before continuing with: 'I can't believe that they made him Junior Lieutenant! The guy's a violent moron who only joined the temple guards because it gave him a reason to beat people up!' '...I know,' Lyle reluctantly admitted, 'but there's nothing any of us can do about it. Drevin's an idiot who doesn't understand what the temple guards stand for.' '...Sorry Lyle,' Doleen replied, slightly ashamed, 'I went too far. Not everyone in the temple guard joined up for the sake of violence.' 'Really?' Lyle huffed, 'like whom?' Doleen smiled. 'There's you.' She told him. 'You're the best guard in the Junior Brigade, and everyone knows it. The guards are nothing without their faith; it's what they stand for. So what if an idiot like Drevin is your superior? You need to be fully evaluated by the Most Divine in order to achieve captain status, remember? You need strength, discipline, kindness and faith to become an officer, and Drevin's only got the least important. You've got all of that.' Doleen's words hung in the air, but no-one spoke up.

After about seven minutes of silence, Adrian decided to speak up. 'Doleen, how far is it to the cavern where Aroma Corsair grows?' 'Not too far. We're almost there, actually. But the ground is pretty unstable. That's why I need the two of you along; in case one of us is injured, the others need to be able to both treat wounds and call for help.' 'So... it's a tad more dangerous than I thought it was going to be.' 'Just a tad,' Doleen agreed. 'Instead of tripping over an errant tree-root, we could fall into a pit and shatter half the bones in our bodies.' Adrian winced. 'Looks like we'll need to be careful.' 'That goes without saying.' Doleen told him, rolling her eyes. 'But we didn't come here to discuss how we could all die horrible deaths. Rivell and Mildred are waiting for us. Let's just-' Doleen's sentence was cut off by her plunging into the earth, as the ground gave way as she spoke. 'Doleen!' Adrian cried out, and he and Lyle looked downwards, into the pit that she had fallen into. 'I'm... not feeling too well.' Doleen told them. 'I think I broke my legs.' 'Hang on,' Adrian replied. 'We'll get you out of there.' '...Hurry.' Doleen replied weakly.

Adrian and Lyle began work on belaying down the pit, using a rope that Adrian had brought with him, in case this had happened. They slowly descended, careful not to slip and fall. As they made their way downwards, they, they heard Doleen talking. 'Who are you? What do you want?' 'I... shall heal you. I... shall set you free.' 'What do you mean by that?' she replied, her voice becoming increasingly strained with fear. 'Do not worry,' the voice told her. It sounded beautiful, like what the wind would sound like if gentle breezes that carried mist across the countryside could speak. 'I am your salvation.' It assured her. Below both Adrian and Lyle, a dim green light glowed were Doleen lay, illuminating the ground where she was. At first, it seemed as though no-one was near. This illusion was soon dispelled, however, as a lady dressed in deep green attire appeared next to Doleen. What was strange about her, however, was not her clothing or her unexpected arrival, but her skin: it was a sea green colour, not unlike that of her clothing. 'Seek the glade of Tota. Please be swift...' she whispered, her words gently echoing towards the ears of the boys above. It was only now that Adrian noticed that something was wrong with Lyle. His eyes glowed gold and his armour looked like it was carved out of topaz, which had then been woven into silk. The handle on his sword gleamed red, like a ruby had been engraved on the pommel and had then bled down into the rest of the blade like it had been mortally wounded. He let go of the rope, and gracefully made his way down, barely fazed by the climb down. 'Spirit. You who curse others. You who lead them astray from the truth that is reality. Take your hand off her. She is not yours to claim.' 'A trivial concern,' the lady replied. 'But I am not worried by your zeal. Are you so blind to think that my actions are without reason? I have saved this girl from much pain. I have claimed her for the sake of saving her; an action that neither you nor your fellows could perform has occurred here. This girl has been saved; her gift has been released. She will lead us all to salvation in turn.' 'Your way to salvation will instill much suffering.' 'As while yours, I understand.' The lady retorted. 'If you get your way,' Lyle claimed, 'then my people will suffer, possibly even die out.' 'If you get your way,' replied the green lady, 'then there is no guarantee that my people will survive your conquest.' Lyle shook his head in disgust. 'It seems that we are at an impasse.' 'Quite,' the green lady replied, 'we must decide who will take control of the situation.' 'Even if I succeed here, I doubt you would simply let me do what is required.' 'Nor, I think, would you if I were to win.' 'Then we are of the same mind; for one of us, the end must come.'

As Adrian watched the green lady and the changed Lyle converse, he felt sick as he gazed towards Doleen. She had stopped moving almost altogether, he noticed. She continued to breathe, but did nothing else. At best, she was just unconscious. At worst... Adrian could not think of what could possibly be the worst situation.

'This conflict must end here if either of us is to be successful,' Lyle noticed. 'Quite, despite my misgivings, you seem to be capable of sentient thought after all.' the green lady remarked. 'You may talk all you wish, creature, but know that I know what you are.' 'And yet you don't know who I am.' the green lady laughed. 'That is a minor detail.' Lyle replied. 'I know your intent, and I know your purpose. That is enough cause to end you.' 'End me and you doom a race to extinction.' the green lady warned her opponent. 'If I let you live, I'll doom another in turn.' Lyle replied. 'Then there is no more need to talk.' the green lady stepped towards Doleen, a sickly smile on her face. 'Don't you dare touch her!' Lyle screamed. 'Touch her? Why would I touch her?' replied the lady. 'Child,' the lady spoke, her voice now speaking with the slightest sting, 'child, you must help me. Please help me. I would be so grateful...' the green lady faded into thin air and Doleen awoke. Her eyes, once brown, have now become a deep green, the same colour of the green lady's attire. She opened her mouth and Adrian, expecting the green lady's sylvan voice, found himself hearing his friend's voice instead. But Doleen was by no means the same. 'Strike me. I dare you.' Her mouth curled into a smile, and Lyle gripped the pommel of his sword. 'I dare.' he stated, drawing his sword. No longer was it seemingly made of mere bronze, but now... Adrian could not tell what the sword was made of, but it definitely was not bronze. Nor was it gold; no sword of gold would remain in sharp or in shape for too long: the rich metal was by far too soft. What concern Adrian more was the green light that now surrounded Doleen; a sharp gale appeared to be starting up as well. A yellow light also pulsated from Lyle's armour... or was it Lyle himself. Adrian could not tell, nor did he truly want to know the answer. He just watched, awestruck, at the display down below. But one thought raced through his mind: what should he do to? Should he fight, attempt to stop the feud, or simply run and attempt to avoid the fight altogether?

To be continued...

Right, first decision in the story. Should Adrian:

a) Aid Doleen to fend off the bloodthirsty Lyle
b) Assist Lyle to deal with the possessed Doleen
c) Attempt to stop both of them to find a peaceful solution
d) Hide in an attempt to survive the upcoming violence

Minimum of 5 votes required before I continue the story (amount may be reduced if not enough interest expressed in story).
Voting will close after a minimum of 72 hours.
PM me or post in this forum to vote. PM votes preferred.
Reviews and criticism welcome.