LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

[Triscuitable]

If you think the conversation won't go horribly wrong, ask your parents what you'd have been called if you were born a girl. I'd have been Naomi, which I really like ^_^

Asked my parents that. Same name as my current one. Why? My name's unisex in Wales, and Wales alone. I asked what was another consideration. Middle name. Another first name? Swap the -ys for -ley. Amazing how they just had it all set up to drive me nuts.

[supernerd]

*Hug*



Perhaps it's an un-construct?

... That sounded really clever when I thought about it, but I just factored in European/American history... I can't fully articulate what I'm thinking at the moment, but it involves the possibility that the social construct is the constraint of gender... :fridgehorror:



:smalltongue:



*More hugs*

I had a realization like that a while back - 'if everyone just perceives everything they learn, and they don't always agree on what they perceived, can anything be considered "real"?

... YnEoS - clearly, reality is user-defined'. I'm riding a horse. :roach:



Because it's so much easier just to shower and get it over with. :smallsigh:

Also, dried out rough skin is actually more sensitive/easy to damage than smooth, healthy skin - it takes quite a bit of willpower to punch things with chapped knuckles. :shrug:



If I was any indication, the whole thing just self-feeds - there's bound to be at least one person capable of looking tougher than you can, so you have to constantly work (often to downright idiotic levels) to be respected.

And If you don't... Well, then you're either lazy (if you're fat) or "gay" (if you aren't). :/



I guessed them to be around the same size. My eerily-uncanny predicting knack fails me! :WHYYY!?: :smallbiggrin:



I didn't get a headache writing it. :smallconfused:

... 'Course, I already had a pretty bad one, so maybe I just didn't notice... n.n



On that note, I want a freakin' skirt. And panties. But mostly a skirt! :smallfurious:

Someday I'll be able to buy a skirt of my own... :roach:



*Hugs*

Unfortunately, he's the tolerant one...A while back, my parents assumed that I was gay because I'd never had a girlfriend (really I was just asocial and unwilling to be driven to a date by my parents). They let this go for years, occasionally assuming that I was in a relationship with my childhood friend (he was the only person I invited over - he's the Viking I tend to drone on about) and generally being both illogical and creepy.

At some point in high school, though, my dad told me that he wouldn't disown me if I "turned out to be gay" (presumably to get me to come out, though that would be inaccurate considering I'm bi and whatnot).

A few days later, I heard him mumble something about that to my mom (I have better hearing than people think I do) - she responded with a horrified look, like he was 'allowing' it or something.

... The sad part is, I wasn't even surprised enough to feel sad. :/

(... Honestly, I think I'd rather not stay around if/when he does find out - extrapolating from his comments on my hair and other queers, he'd never shut up about it. It would literally reach harassment levels, from both of them. :smallsigh:)

Thanks for listening so much... I've been such a drama queen lately. :tired smile:


Also, I've been wondering... Does anyone have any advice for choosing a name? "Scott" doesn't transcribe like that, and though I like "Trixie" it feels kind of off... I could just browse the list of female names and their meanings, but... Science...:smalltongue:

Well I'm sorry to hear that about your parents. That's gotta suck.

With names, do you have a spare name that you thought of naming your children? I'm gonna have an Annabeth and a Fraser in that order(of course beggars can't be choosers). But anyway.

As to Science... *sings "Still Alive"*

[H Birchgrove]

*Hugs Al'izh'dheg and Arachu*

[Rawhide]

*Hugs Al'izh'dheg and Arachu*

Gesundheit.

[Asta Kask]

Is it a great faux pas to ask a transperson what their former name was?

[Mina Kobold]

If you think the conversation won't go horribly wrong, ask your parents what you'd have been called if you were born a girl. I'd have been Naomi, which I really like ^_^

Naomi is quite a wonderful name, just thinking it made me smile.

Mine would probably have given me another Christian name, but that has more to do with the weird culture of Denmark than anything religious. Kind of sad, since I don't particularly like most Biblical names. :smallfrown:

None of them have good hippie meanings! Not a single "Rose" or "Friend" among them! Meanie squares! :smallmad::smalltongue:


Gesundheit.

Now that would be a funny name to take, and it has a nice meaning of healthiness too! :3

On that note, never ever allow me to mess with names. Ever.

[Ceric]

Also, I've been wondering... Does anyone have any advice for choosing a name? "Scott" doesn't transcribe like that, and though I like "Trixie" it feels kind of off... I could just browse the list of female names and their meanings, but... Science...:smalltongue:

"Scarlett" is the only female name that comes to mind.

[KenderWizard]

Is it a great faux pas to ask a transperson what their former name was?

I'd say it'd be a bit weird. I mean, I guess if you were talking about names and they were out to you and comfortable talking about trans things, it'd be reasonable, if you didn't push it if they said they'd rather not tell you. But out of nowhere, I'd probably ask "Why do you want to know?"

[Asta Kask]

It's just that in Natalie's blog, which I've linked to earlier, she has asked us to ask her questions for the FAQ. And she has told us about some fairly :eek:-worthy things before (latest entry - how she's woken up by a roommate who has been on a crackbinge and may have been out to rape her). But she won't tell us her 'boyname', so that must be a very sensitive topic. And I just wanted to know whether this is common among transpeople.

[Astrella]

*Hugs*

Unfortunately, he's the tolerant one...A while back, my parents assumed that I was gay because I'd never had a girlfriend (really I was just asocial and unwilling to be driven to a date by my parents). They let this go for years, occasionally assuming that I was in a relationship with my childhood friend (he was the only person I invited over - he's the Viking I tend to drone on about) and generally being both illogical and creepy.

At some point in high school, though, my dad told me that he wouldn't disown me if I "turned out to be gay" (presumably to get me to come out, though that would be inaccurate considering I'm bi and whatnot).

A few days later, I heard him mumble something about that to my mom (I have better hearing than people think I do) - she responded with a horrified look, like he was 'allowing' it or something.

... The sad part is, I wasn't even surprised enough to feel sad. :/

(... Honestly, I think I'd rather not stay around if/when he does find out - extrapolating from his comments on my hair and other queers, he'd never shut up about it. It would literally reach harassment levels, from both of them. :smallsigh:)

Thanks for listening so much... I've been such a drama queen lately. :tired smile:

*hugs a ton more*


Also, I've been wondering... Does anyone have any advice for choosing a name? "Scott" doesn't transcribe like that, and though I like "Trixie" it feels kind of off... I could just browse the list of female names and their meanings, but... Science...:smalltongue:


Test a name out, try asking people to address you with that name online and see how it feels. I went through about five names before I settled on the one I have now (although I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with it).

Trying it out online helps a lot. I went with an altered version of the name I would've had if I had been assigned female at birth. But using it helps you get a much better feel about it I think.


Is it a great faux pas to ask a transperson what their former name was?

A pretty big one for most people, yes, and certainly not something I would ever ask about. If they feel like disclosing it themselves, sure, but for most people it's something you've put behind you. And I'm not sure what the importance of knowing it is?

[noparlpf]

Understandable; some of us (like me) tend to be sincere about it to the point of being creepy.

And yes! She was one of the major artists and designers for Powerpuff Girls, and then went on the Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. The distinctive eye shape/head proportion is a tip off :smallwink:

In that case, she's cool, and I like her. Three excellent shows.


Yeah, that always made me wonder. Why does being masculine require so much effort, despite the most masculine people not caring and putting forth little effort?

A lot of societal things require "effortless perfection" to really look good. That's why I look so good. I get the "tousled just-rolled-out-of-bed" look by rolling out of bed, pulling on a shirt, brushing my teeth and hair, and going to class.


I believe (http://www.ehow.com/how_7484961_convert-womens-jean-sizes-mens.html) the conversion (http://www.ehow.com/how_5174361_convert-mens-clothing-sizes-womens.html) is something like measure the waist line in inches and then subtract 21 inches and you've got the female size. At least, that seems to be google's consensus.

So a size 7 should be roughly a 28 inch waistline, or the smallest commonly stocked size of blue jeans that they make for teen and adult men and sell in department stores in the U.S.

Someone like me, who has ballooned up to a 38 inch waistline from having been had a 32 inch waistline since the age of 12 or so, well, I'd wear somewhere in the neighbourhood of a size 17, although I believe I might fit into a slightly smaller pair of jeans due to my lack of tuckus.

That's neat and handy. I've been wishing I understood girl pants for years.
But then what's up with size zero or double-zero? Who's that tiny?


It's just that in Natalie's blog, which I've linked to earlier, she has asked us to ask her questions for the FAQ. And she has told us about some fairly :eek:-worthy things before (latest entry - how she's woken up by a roommate who has been on a crackbinge and may have been out to rape her). But she won't tell us her 'boyname', so that must be a very sensitive topic. And I just wanted to know whether this is common among transpeople.

I can see not wanting people to know my former name if I were trans and had transitioned. A transdude here gets really upset when obnoxious internet people from high school call him by his girl-name.
Personally I prefer my made-up name just because my birth name is tied to a past me I don't want to think about; I was even more of an ass back in the day. Unfortunately I introduced myself by my birth-name freshman year and it stuck for most people, though people whom I interact with more on facebook tend to call me Jude.

[Asta Kask]

A pretty big one for most people, yes, and certainly not something I would ever ask about. If they feel like disclosing it themselves, sure, but for most people it's something you've put behind you. And I'm not sure what the importance of knowing it is?

If it's secret it must be worth knowing. :smallbiggrin:

I'm just nosy by nature. Now I'm not particularly interested in knowing her boyname, but I want to understand. What makes it such a big deal? I'm pretty much driven by my curiosity.

[Astrella]

If it's secret it must be worth knowing. :smallbiggrin:

I'm just nosy by nature. Now I'm not particularly interested in knowing her boyname, but I want to understand. What makes it such a big deal? I'm pretty much driven by my curiosity.

Well, it having a very association with a time of your life when you weren't comfortable in your skin / couldn't express who you were feels like a pretty reasonable explanation.

Edit: For me my boy name just represents putting up a mask; acting out a fake persona and not being myself. It's why I don't like associating / being associated with it.

[Asta Kask]

Yeah, it seems reasonable.

I also ask because it is a question I might very well ask without thinking about it. Kind of "what was your old job like?" And I want to avoid hurting people if at all possible. I feel terribly guilty.

[Coidzor]

Is it a great faux pas to ask a transperson what their former name was?

Depending upon where they are in life and whether it's a natural segue of the conversation, like most things, it seems to be more of a situational thing.

Though my understanding has been that it's not really a topic of casual conversation.

From what I've seen on the subject, I think it's equal parts not wanting it to be used as a weapon against them by others (as you've seen in this thread, just the mention of the birthname can cause an enraged status or other negative emotions, much less having hostile people actively use it) and wanting to break with the past


Mine would probably have given me another Christian name

Well, yes, generally in Western cultures the sex of the child doesn't determine which family name it gets. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Given_name#Christian_name):smallwink:


I'd say it'd be a bit weird. I mean, I guess if you were talking about names and they were out to you and comfortable talking about trans things, it'd be reasonable, if you didn't push it if they said they'd rather not tell you. But out of nowhere, I'd probably ask "Why do you want to know?"

...You've got a better imagination than I there, then, imagining this conversation happening with a transperson who was not out to the person talking to them. :smallconfused:

The only situations I can imagine this even having a chance of coming up would be between A. between friends that were made post-transition*, B. as part of an interview, or C. at some kind of convention aimed at trans individuals and supporters.

*Even then it's rather difficult to imagine it being a secret for long if casual contact could out the transperson before they felt comfortable talking about it.

Though, I suppose if someone started going by a different name pre-transition it would also naturally spark a question, but I'd contend that's a no brainer as to not being a faux pas at that point, as it is a reasonable and obvious question to ask for the story behind someone who is presenting as a man going by the name "Alice" or a woman going by the name "Marcus." And could technically be considered a minor form of outing one's self publicly through that name choice.


That's neat and handy. I've been wishing I understood girl pants for years.
But then what's up with size zero or double-zero? Who's that tiny?

I don't think either of us really wants to know. :smalleek:


Personally I prefer my made-up name just because my birth name is tied to a past me I don't want to think about; I was even more of an ass back in the day.

Err, most of us are kind of horrible little monstrosities while we're children. :smallconfused: Was that really your primary motivating factor in changing names?

[noparlpf]

Yeah, it seems reasonable.

I also ask because it is a question I might very well ask without thinking about it. Kind of "what was your old job like?" And I want to avoid hurting people if at all possible. I feel terribly guilty.

I suppose if you're relatively friendly with the person and they're coming out to you a reasonable way to ask would be, "Do you mind if I ask what your name was before you transitioned? If not, that's fine. I'm just a curious sort of person."


I don't think either of us really wants to know. :smalleek:

I actually do. Just because I like knowing how things work and when my female friends are talking about pants I want to be able to participate
Or did you mean we don't want to know who's that tiny? 'Cause my little sister totally is. Most of her pants are either too wide or too short. Darned skinny people.


Err, most of us are kind of horrible little monstrosities while we're children. :smallconfused: Was that really your primary motivating factor in changing names?

No, a friend gave me my name and I like it. I just felt like it fit well with my transition from high school and associations with all that.

[Asta Kask]

I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

[Mina Kobold]

Well, yes, generally in Western cultures the sex of the child doesn't determine which family name it gets. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Given_name#Christian_name):smallwink:

I would give you a touché, but that link say it's a synonym for given name. Although, saying "They would probably give me another first name" sounds equally nonsensical, so I will give you an honorary one! :smallsmile:

Tou-ché, sierame. :smallwink:

They probably would have christened me as well, for the same silly cultural reasons. Considering my rampant Atheism, however, it would only serve to keep away vampires. Whom I invite inside anyway. :3

EDIT:

That sounds very frightening, Asta. I really hope you will get much better. ;_;

*Get-well-hug*

[Mono Vertigo]

Nobody will be better off without you.
Nonetheless, please allow me to thank you for taking the decision to get admitted. I am very glad you have enough lucidity and strength for that.
Take care. :smallfrown:
Hope you beat depression real quick.

[Coidzor]

I would give you a touché, but that link say it's a synonym for given name. Although, saying "They would probably give me another first name" sounds equally nonsensical, so I will give you an honorary one! :smallsmile:

They'd have to give you a different given name because it's not like they'd be giving you a different family name doesn't make sense to you? :smallconfused:

[Coidzor]

I would give you a touché, but that link say it's a synonym for given name. Although, saying "They would probably give me another first name" sounds equally nonsensical, so I will give you an honorary one! :smallsmile:

You... don't understand that I'm saying that they would pretty much have to have done the given name differently because it's not the family name that is gendered? :smallconfused: :smallannoyed:

[Mina Kobold]

They'd have to give you a different given name because it's not like they'd be giving you a different family name doesn't make sense to you? :smallconfused:

*Rereads comment*

Ah yes, my bad. My brain went a bit cloudcuckoo there, sorry. Your deserved "Touché" will be delivered. :smallredface:

Touché! :smallsmile:

Although, they could have given me a different middle name. Don't think they would, but they could! :3

[Astrella]

I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

They won't! *hugs*
Hope things feel and go better soon, I'll miss you. :smallfrown:

[bluewind95]

I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

Asta :smallfrown:

No one's going to be better off without you. Please feel better soon and take care of yourself.

[Caustic Soda]

Please feel better soon Asta, and may your friends/family and the hospital crew be supportive. I'll look forward to you posting here again when you've ridden out the worst of it. *hugs*:smallsmile:

[Lix Lorn]

Also, I've been wondering... Does anyone have any advice for choosing a name? "Scott" doesn't transcribe like that, and though I like "Trixie" it feels kind of off... I could just browse the list of female names and their meanings, but... Science...:smalltongue:
Well, the obvious answer, if you liked Scott, is to find a feminine version of it. If you can't or you don't like it... just look through names til you find one that sounds right, I guess?
I used Lixxy as a feminine form of Felix (which was a name I just picked for the net cause I liked it), until I was informed that it sounded like a porn name. When I realised I was trans, I decided that however fitting, I didn't want a porn name, so shortened it to Lix. I seem to have gone back to Lixxy now, although spelt Lixie. But the actual name I picked (Emily) I just really like.


Is it a great faux pas to ask a transperson what their former name was?
I wouldn't be offended, I guess? I wouldn't want to go on about it, and if you asked and then USED it to address me that would be offensive.


Edit: For me my boy name just represents putting up a mask; acting out a fake persona and not being myself. It's why I don't like associating / being associated with it.
I agree, but I don't mind associating past me with it. I mean, that was past me. Past me was KIND OF A DUMBASS different.[/karkat]


I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.
Ack... I'll miss you. (hugs tightly) Be well.

[Arachu]

I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

Hope I didn't take too long editing to say what everyone else is. *hugs enough to last two weeks*


Likely because Trixie's one of those names that feels like it revels in a constructed nature. It's also got some of the stains of association with the likes of Candi and Bunni.

Yeah, sounds too light-hearted (it also means 'she who blesses', or something close to that - my parents and my school made that an insult over the years, figuratively speaking).


I don't think I've ever heard of etymology referred to as a science before, I must admit. :smallconfused: I'm not quite sure what that has to do with objecting to steeping yourself in the lore and the established choices before you, especially since knowing your kit would only serve to make going with an iconoclastic choice more likely to roll off the tongue rather than stick in the throat.

I was referring to how easily I get distracted by physics and whatnot, but you make a good point. :roach:

It's important (to me) to pick a name that both sounds right and means something - it can't just be a pretty name, it should remind me of something important.


That gets too messy, methinks. At that point we would tart dissecting what is and is not human nature. There's little profit in it right now... Entirely possible though.

Yeah... Normally I'd be all over it, but I just don't have the time or energy to go mad from some realization right now. :smalltongue::smallsigh:


I don't think it's quite a matter of subjective reality, but then, I wouldn't, would I? I would have to assume that I am different, rather than reality is what I make of it. Hm.

Well, clearly reality is real - only problem is, who's qualified to say how? :smalltongue:


I love bathing, myself! That's the problem, I take so long...

And funny; I find not punching things to be an act of willpower sometimes >>;
:smalltongue:

I don't give myself time to enjoy bathing much - I take showers, and if I don't hurry up I run out of hot water. >.<

I hear ya on the punching. It's nice to make some noise here and there. :xykon:

... Until you make a hole in the wall. ._. :smalltongue:


Exactly! But when your choices are being a big shot in a world of paranoia and fear, or just relaxing... I am honestly surprised T the number of folks who don't choose relaxation. There will always be a point where someone can make you look bad, because you cannot 100% protect yourself. And in the end, that slow, life destroying terror isn't worth it.

*Nods wearily*


Apologies. Didn't mean for that to sound offensive; but the convolution of the logic is terrible.

Oh, you didn't offend me at all - I worded it like that to communicate how messed-up their logic gets.

(There's also the metaphor at the end - the stick is cultural expectations, and it's preventing the actuator of logic from completing a full circuit. It doesn't hit the stick hard enough to break it, but it's also propelled passively by magnetism so there's nothing on it to break either. So, it just keeps meeting the stick, stopping, and getting picked up again indefinitely. :roach:)

I put a lot of energy into analyzing people, so I can avoid stumbling onto qualities I hate and figure out how to take on ones I like. (When you don't have a therapist, you eventually figure out how to be your therapist, you know? :mitd:)


Might I suggest the ever-manly kilt?
That is to say, without some research the difference between being a scotsman and a catholic schoolgirl is whether or not you wax your whiskers :smallbiggrin:

:smalltongue:

Funny part is, after losing so much weight my old clothes are huge - the shorts I bought to keep my knees covered hang halfway down my calves now, and the shirts I got to cover my waistline are almost to my knees. If it weren't for the division between legs, it'd be like a was wearing one already... >.<

(I'm this close to just making one - I just can't think of what to cut into stitches... It doesn't help that I utterly lack experience with this sort of thing. :smallredface:)


My, that's terrible. At least mine own family's prejudice is of the understandable variety (good natured if mean-sounding disparaging anyone different from themselves). Still prejudiced about a lot of things, but rather reasonable about it.

This though... Terrible, especially given your situation. I can only imagine how it must feel to look at your parents and realize they just aren't very nice people :smalleek:

It's pretty disillusioning... My teachers made me pretty accustomed to it, though. :/

The only reason I can't leave now is my weight loss medicine - I took a whole child off me last year, but there's still more to lose and the medicine's on their insurance. I could leave first, stay at my friend's place, get a license and eat very little for several months, but that would not be as... Secure. It hinges on me being able to get a job, and the process would be too slow... It's an option, but unless/until things get catastrophically worse it's just not a very wise one. :/



I would suggest looking into what building blocks of your current name you value. Think a board reset ate my thing about names (and then things got heavy and I felt of of place being so flippant about a different topic...) but names are important. They are foundational.

What parts of Arachu appeal to you? Why? How could they be modified?
My names, given and chosen, all reflect things important to me. Integrity, sincerity, valor, defense of those who need it, accepting responsibility, the wonders of the world, the notion that things aren't that bad, that I will leave the world a better place than I found it, and I will leave it with the taste of wonder will on my lips.

A good title, when not self-applied out of vanity, is less like a constraint and more like a guide, such as one would tie a young sapling to. Something to help you grow the way you want to. Decide based not off of Internet suggestions, but on what thoughts it evokes, what emotions it stirs, and how it feels on the tongue.

I was kicking around Aura for a while (it's what the mental personification that informed me of my gender identified herself as), but as pretty as it is I think it'd feel heavy on the tongue after a while... Right now I'm picking which ones have appropriate meanings, and sorting out the ones I like the sound of. :smallbiggrin:

... Only the page I was keeping the candidates on just messed up, and I had to close it. Now I have to start over... >.<


...

And now we wait the remaining seven minutes until the board backup is done >_<

There we are! The preview looks nice. I think I like talking to you if only for the interplay of blue and green~ XD

:smallbiggrin:

(I'm just happy I like typing so much. :roach:)


*hugs a ton more*

*Hugs* :mitd:


Well, it having a very association with a time of your life when you weren't comfortable in your skin / couldn't express who you were feels like a pretty reasonable explanation.

Edit: For me my boy name just represents putting up a mask; acting out a fake persona and not being myself. It's why I don't like associating / being associated with it.

Mine always sounds like my mom or gym teachers are saying it, metaphorically speaking. :/

I was never too fond of Scott, anyway - I don't hate it, but I don't really like it either. I actually thought about picking another male name a while back, but I got distracted by... Red Dead Redemption, was it? I like that game, it's fun. What was I talking about, again? :smalltongue:


You can only use Trixie if you call yourself "Great and Powerful". For lists of historical female names, look here. (http://tekeli.li/onomastikon/) You can have a Visigoth name!

Well, I do like vandalism... (That barely even made sense. :smalltongue:)

*Actually glimpses page* Woah! That kicks the list I was using's ass! :elan:


Yeah, it seems reasonable.

I also ask because it is a question I might very well ask without thinking about it. Kind of "what was your old job like?" And I want to avoid hurting people if at all possible. I feel terribly guilty.

*Hugs*

I'm sure there's a way to word it that isn't so impolite, though I can't think of one at the moment. I think I'll be neutral about telling people mine - it's not quite "mine", but by remembering where I was I'll be able to remember how far I'll have come.

... I listen to too much Bon Jovi. :smalltongue:


Well I'm sorry to hear that about your parents. That's gotta suck.

With names, do you have a spare name that you thought of naming your children? I'm gonna have an Annabeth and a Fraser in that order(of course beggars can't be choosers). But anyway.

As to Science... *sings "Still Alive"*

I'm still not sure if I'll raise children... I don't know how good of a parent I'd be. :/

That may change after a couple of years, though. :mitd:

(Don't forget garnishes such as: Fish-shaped crackers. Fish-shaped candies. Fish-shaped ethyl benzene...) :smalltongue:

[Elfinor]

...You've got a better imagination than I there, then, imagining this conversation happening with a transperson who was not out to the person talking to them. :smallconfused: In all seriousness, I usually make blanket assumptions of people as cisgender. I do know one FtM transgender who (I assume, didn't ask) kept his name after transitioning. I had to ask him to spell it out to me when I first met him, not knowing he was trans, because his name is usually a female one in Australia. A quick google search revealed it can be a male name, but is somewhat rare.


I actually do. Just because I like knowing how things work and when my female friends are talking about pants I want to be able to participate
Or did you mean we don't want to know who's that tiny? 'Cause my little sister totally is. Most of her pants are either too wide or too short. Darned skinny people. Just because we weigh less, it does not diminish us as a people:smalltongue:

Victoria (http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/family-entertainment/victoria-beckham-how-i-got-my-body-back-20120127-1qkbn.html#utm_source=FD&utm_medium=rainbow&utm_campaign=poshbabybody) Beckham (http://www.mid-day.com/entertainment/2011/sep/060911-Hollywood-Victoria-Beckham-size-zero-figure.htm) has recently returned to size 0.

EDIT: Eeep! Hope you get better soon, Asta.

[Coidzor]

In all seriousness, I usually make blanket assumptions of people as cisgender.

Aside from those who are trans and do not transition or present and genderqueer individuals, I imagine that's the preferred view, certainly has to be that of both transwomen and ciswomen. At least, I've never heard of any transwomen who would prefer to be viewed as such instead of as ciswomen.


Just because we weigh less, it does not diminish us as a people:smalltongue:

Well, no, I'm just frightened of people who are much smaller than I am. Such as children, but they unnerve me for multiple reasons.

[Viera Champion]

So um... I posted a status saying "Dear smokers, when you smoke, can you not do it up wind from people, please? Thanks."
And some guy responded "Dear gays, if your gonna be gay can you not do it in front of people, please? Thanks."
Of course, he immediately deleted the comment in like a second, but I get Facebook comments on my wall sent to my phone, so I still saw it and have evidence of it.
Sigh...
You don't hear me asking straight people to stop being so straight in front of me. :smalltongue:

[Astrella]

Come gaze at the vast array of cis bigots! (http://widdershinsgirl.tumblr.com/post/16879610400/types-of-cis-bigots-i-am-quite-tired-of-a-bit-of-a)

[Coidzor]

Oh, joy, this again. Yeah, people are totally bigots for not being fired up to have sex with certain genital configurations.
:smallsigh:

[Viera Champion]

Oh, joy, this again. Yeah, people are totally bigots for not being fired up to have sex with certain genital configurations.
:smallsigh:

It's not about whether or not they want the sex, it is that they felt the need to voice it, and did so in a rude manor.

[Coidzor]

It's not about whether or not they want the sex, it is that they felt the need to voice it, and did so in a rude manor.

Considering the last time this was brought up in here, it wasn't limited to just being rude, suffice to say, I have my doubts about that.

[Viera Champion]

Considering the last time this was brought up in here, it wasn't limited to just being rude, suffice to say, I have my doubts about that.

I don't remember last time this got brought up. I tend to skim through most of this thread.

[Coidzor]

I don't remember last time this got brought up. I tend to skim through most of this thread.

I don't even remember when specifically it was. Feels like ancient history to be honest.

[Astrella]

Considering the last time this was brought up in here, it wasn't limited to just being rude, suffice to say, I have my doubts about that.

Last time (I think you mean the time Nix asked about it?) it was about post-op transsexuals though (or at least, that was what Nix asked about.).

[Mono Vertigo]

Come gaze at the vast array of cis bigots! (http://widdershinsgirl.tumblr.com/post/16879610400/types-of-cis-bigots-i-am-quite-tired-of-a-bit-of-a)
Ahahah... hah... oh... oh lord, they sound too realistic to be made up. And I've even met the antisemitic/sexist cousins of a couple ones. :smallannoyed:


Now, a small personal exercise in pseudo-wits, as it is a skill I need to train. *cough*

“Do you have actual evidence that you’re really a woman? No, of course you don’t, because it’s impossible by definition. No, shut up; I’m right and you’re wrong, PERIOD.”
Do you have actual evidence that you're not really a [REDACTED]? No you don't. It's impossible by definition. Now, do you have any actual evidence your intellectual output in this discussion will increase anytime soon?

“Don’t you think that, in the spirit of free and open discussion, you should listen to my side of things instead of just dismissing it out of hand as ‘bigotry’?”
I'll give you that. In the spirit of free and open discussion, I'm going to give you my side of things, and it is that you are a [REDACTED]. Just exerting my right to free speech there, no offense.

"“I’m not saying prejudice is right, but, to be fair, it is a little weird for someone to present as a woman and yet have a penis.”
It's funny, it is a little weird for me to be arguing with someone who says a bunch of [REDACTED] and yet has a brain. Guess we'll both have to work on our prejudices.

[noparlpf]

I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

:<
Of course your family and friends wouldn't be better off without you, but it's good that you're able to recognize those feelings as harmful and seek out help. Hope you get better soon. n.n


I agree, but I don't mind associating past me with it. I mean, that was past me. Past me was KIND OF A DUMBASS different.[/karkat]

Usually when I see fandom references online I groan inwardly because I'm too much of a hipster to openly like mainstream things, but because I have a soft spot for Karkat in my empty chest cavity this made me smile.


Just because we weigh less, it does not diminish us as a people:smalltongue:

Victoria (http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/family-entertainment/victoria-beckham-how-i-got-my-body-back-20120127-1qkbn.html#utm_source=FD&utm_medium=rainbow&utm_campaign=poshbabybody) Beckham (http://www.mid-day.com/entertainment/2011/sep/060911-Hollywood-Victoria-Beckham-size-zero-figure.htm) has recently returned to size 0.

Of course not. One of my best friends is one of those scrawny underweight girls who can't put on weight when she tries. I tease her about it sometimes but in a good-natured sort of way.
And I don't know who that lady is, but I guess now I have an idea of what size zero means visually.


So um... I posted a status saying "Dear smokers, when you smoke, can you not do it up wind from people, please? Thanks."
And some guy responded "Dear gays, if your gonna be gay can you not do it in front of people, please? Thanks."
Of course, he immediately deleted the comment in like a second, but I get Facebook comments on my wall sent to my phone, so I still saw it and have evidence of it.
Sigh...
You don't hear me asking straight people to stop being so straight in front of me. :smalltongue:

Dear bigots, if you're gonna be bigoty can you not do it in front of decent human beings, please? Thanks.
PS: At least use the right form of "you're" if you're going to be a troll.


Come gaze at the vast array of cis bigots! (http://widdershinsgirl.tumblr.com/post/16879610400/types-of-cis-bigots-i-am-quite-tired-of-a-bit-of-a)

Hey there, Forehead. May I introduce you to my good friend, Desk?


Ahahah... hah... oh... oh lord, they sound too realistic to be made up. And I've even met the antisemitic/sexist cousins of a couple ones. :smallannoyed:


Now, a small personal exercise in pseudo-wits, as it is a skill I need to train. *cough*

“Do you have actual evidence that you’re really a woman? No, of course you don’t, because it’s impossible by definition. No, shut up; I’m right and you’re wrong, PERIOD.”
Do you have actual evidence that you're not really a [REDACTED]? No you don't. It's impossible by definition. Now, do you have any actual evidence your intellectual output in this discussion will increase anytime soon?

“Don’t you think that, in the spirit of free and open discussion, you should listen to my side of things instead of just dismissing it out of hand as ‘bigotry’?”
I'll give you that. In the spirit of free and open discussion, I'm going to give you my side of things, and it is that you are a [REDACTED]. Just exerting my right to free speech there, no offense.

"“I’m not saying prejudice is right, but, to be fair, it is a little weird for someone to present as a woman and yet have a penis.”
It's funny, it is a little weird for me to be arguing with someone who says a bunch of [REDACTED] and yet has a brain. Guess we'll both have to work on our prejudices.



The problem is your wits are too far above theirs for them to understand.

[Arachu]

Come gaze at the vast array of cis bigots! (http://widdershinsgirl.tumblr.com/post/16879610400/types-of-cis-bigots-i-am-quite-tired-of-a-bit-of-a)

:smallamused: :smallbiggrin:


Oh, joy, this again. Yeah, people are totally bigots for not being fired up to have sex with certain genital configurations.
:smallsigh:

That's not bigotry, but mentioning it anytime the subject is brought up is.

The 'decision' to transition isn't a purely sexual one, after all. If one can discuss a cis male or female without mention of their genitals, how is it not prejudicial to start with ours?


I don't even remember when specifically it was. Feels like ancient history to be honest.

Thread 16, perhaps? It may have been 17...

[KenderWizard]

If it's secret it must be worth knowing. :smallbiggrin:

I'm just nosy by nature. Now I'm not particularly interested in knowing her boyname, but I want to understand. What makes it such a big deal? I'm pretty much driven by my curiosity.

Well, if you want to ask Natalie a question about it, which is what you seem to be getting at, you could go with the softer "How did you choose your new name?" or "Was it difficult getting used to a new name?" or something, to start a conversation about the feelings behind it, which I think is what you're actually interested in.



...You've got a better imagination than I there, then, imagining this conversation happening with a transperson who was not out to the person talking to them. :smallconfused:


I mean, they've let you know they're trans. I was thinking someone who is presenting effectively as their preferred gender. It'd be particularly odd to go around being like "Since I assume you used to be the other gender, random person, what was your name back then?"


I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

:smallfrown: I'll miss you, Asta. You're sensible and sweet. I hope you feel better soon and I'm glad you're getting help! If you PM me an address, I'll send you a Get Well Soon card! :smallsmile:


Well, the obvious answer, if you liked Scott, is to find a feminine version of it. If you can't or you don't like it... just look through names til you find one that sounds right, I guess?
I used Lixxy as a feminine form of Felix (which was a name I just picked for the net cause I liked it), until I was informed that it sounded like a porn name. When I realised I was trans, I decided that however fitting, I didn't want a porn name, so shortened it to Lix. I seem to have gone back to Lixxy now, although spelt Lixie. But the actual name I picked (Emily) I just really like.


I picked that name too! :smallbiggrin: And I am also offended by people other than my parents, brother, and grandparents insisting on calling me by my old name. I don't mind if they try and forget or slip up, but deliberately doing it when they know I don't like it is very mean.

[noparlpf]

:smallfrown: I'll miss you, Asta. You're sensible and sweet. I hope you feel better soon and I'm glad you're getting help! If you PM me an address, I'll send you a Get Well Soon card! :smallsmile:

This is a good idea.


I picked that name too! :smallbiggrin: And I am also offended by people other than my parents, brother, and grandparents insisting on calling me by my old name. I don't mind if they try and forget or slip up, but deliberately doing it when they know I don't like it is very mean.

Man, it's been forever since I thought of this. My ex would flip her poop if anybody called her by her birth name. Of course, her father refused to call her anything other than her birth name, but she couldn't do much about that.


I'm going to go get my woman on and cook something.
Darn that sounds both really weird/awkward and also incredibly sexist. Self-respect -1.

[Elfinor]

Of course not. One of my best friends is one of those scrawny underweight girls who can't put on weight when she tries. I tease her about it sometimes but in a good-natured sort of way. Ah right, didn't think you were. I only meant to sound mock defensive, just wanted to take a chance make that weak joke:smallcool:


That's not bigotry, but mentioning it anytime the subject is brought up is. Oh I see, I was wondering about that one.

EDIT:
I mean, they've let you know they're trans. I was thinking someone who is presenting effectively as their preferred gender. It'd be particularly odd to go around being like "Since I assume you used to be the other gender, random person, what was your name back then?" Transsexism?:smalltongue:

[Coidzor]

I mean, they've let you know they're trans. I was thinking someone who is presenting effectively as their preferred gender. It'd be particularly odd to go around being like "Since I assume you used to be the other gender, random person, what was your name back then?"

Now I'm just confused. Effective presentation would preclude determining someone was trans without them telling and them telling would count as them outing themselves by every reckoning that I've heard.


I'm going to go get my woman on and cook something.
Darn that sounds both really weird/awkward and also incredibly sexist. Self-respect -1.

:smalltongue: It just means I have to say I've gotta get my man on and make some [redacted] waffles. Though I'll probably settle for sausage 'n' egg biscuits, mostly because I don't have anything with which to make hollandaise sauce or poach eggs in order to make eggs benedict.

...Well played. You almost got me to go out and buy eggs benedict instead of cooking...


That's not bigotry, but mentioning it anytime the subject is brought up is.

Hell, that's weird and creepy to boot.

[noparlpf]

Ah right, didn't think you were. I only meant to sound mock defensive, just wanted to take a chance make that weak joke:smallcool:

That's how I figured you were responding. But of course internet-conversation lacks tone and body language, so I like to make sure I clarify things.


:smalltongue: It just means I have to say I've gotta get my man on and make some [redacted] waffles. Though I'll probably settle for sausage 'n' egg biscuits, mostly because I don't have anything with which to make hollandaise sauce or poach eggs in order to make eggs benedict.

...Well played. You almost got me to go out and buy eggs benedict instead of cooking...

Now that just sounds a lot fancier than what I just did. (Mostly because I don't know what hollandaise sauce is. Or eggs benedict. I have a vague idea of what poached eggs are but don't know how to cook them.)
I just cooked some excellent chicken (fairly thin chicken breast, a bit of salt, garlic, and parsley, pan-cooked with a bit of butter) and some hard-boiled eggs. And I found 26 cents on the lounge floor by the soda machine. I think tonight is a success.

[Al'izh'dheg]

This thread has taken a rather dark turn this go around. I hope all of you are okay. :smalleek:

For all those having trouble, may you find the peace and solace you seek. We all deserve succor of some sort.

I... don't have anything constructive to add, I suppose. Just a general feeling of being very supportive.

[SiuiS]

So um... I posted a status saying "Dear smokers, when you smoke, can you not do it up wind from people, please? Thanks."
And some guy responded "Dear gays, if your gonna be gay can you not do it in front of people, please? Thanks."
Of course, he immediately deleted the comment in like a second, but I get Facebook comments on my wall sent to my phone, so I still saw it and have evidence of it.
Sigh...
You don't hear me asking straight people to stop being so straight in front of me. :smalltongue:

Why not? You should. People being sexual (period) in public is kinda rude, and often squicky. And they are just as bad for it as they claim you are. Often worse, since there is the implicit "I can do it but you're not allowed to".


I believe (http://www.ehow.com/how_7484961_convert-womens-jean-sizes-mens.html) the conversion (http://www.ehow.com/how_5174361_convert-mens-clothing-sizes-womens.html) is something like measure the waist line in inches and then subtract 21 inches and you've got the female size. At least, that seems to be google's consensus.

So a size 7 should be roughly a 28 inch waistline, or the smallest commonly stocked size of blue jeans that they make for teen and adult men and sell in department stores in the U.S.

Size 28 pants suck, the legs aren't long enough!
And this means I'd wear anywhere from a 3 to a 7. Weird.


"Scarlett" is the only female name that comes to mind.

Ooh, Scarlett. Very nice~
Though it would mesh weird with the whole posting in blue thing. You big on irony, Ara?


I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

Och. Smooth sailing and calm waters, friend. We'll be here when you come ashore again.



Yeah, sounds too light-hearted (it also means 'she who blesses', or something close to that - my parents and my school made that an insult over the years, figuratively speaking).

I'm confused. Your family makes blessing others into an insult?



Well, clearly reality is real - only problem is, who's qualified to say how? :smalltongue:

... Touché.



I don't give myself time to enjoy bathing much - I take showers, and if I don't hurry up I run out of hot water. >.<

I take showers, too. But I pay my own heating bill :smalltongue:


:smalltongue:

Funny part is, after losing so much weight my old clothes are huge - the shorts I bought to keep my knees covered hang halfway down my calves now, and the shirts I got to cover my waistline are almost to my knees. If it weren't for the division between legs, it'd be like a was wearing one already... >.<

(I'm this close to just making one - I just can't think of what to cut into stitches... It doesn't help that I utterly lack experience with this sort of thing. :smallredface:)

The "easy" kilt method involves folding a 5' by 15' wool blanket, folding it in half, pleating it, and using two belts to fasten it in place (is suggest a web belt for the interior; completely adjustable, and unseen.

It sounds hard, but there is a certain joy in having to put effort into your clothing.



I was kicking around Aura for a while (it's what the mental personification that informed me of my gender identified herself as), but as pretty as it is I think it'd feel heavy on the tongue after a while... Right now I'm picking which ones have appropriate meanings, and sorting out the ones I like the sound of. :smallbiggrin:

... Only the page I was keeping the candidates on just messed up, and I had to close it. Now I have to start over... >.<

Arra, or Ara, maybe? It's also diminutive for Arachu, so you can just say its eastern if someone questions you.



Victoria (http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/family-entertainment/victoria-beckham-how-i-got-my-body-back-20120127-1qkbn.html#utm_source=FD&utm_medium=rainbow&utm_campaign=poshbabybody) Beckham (http://www.mid-day.com/entertainment/2011/sep/060911-Hollywood-Victoria-Beckham-size-zero-figure.htm) has recently returned to size 0.

Wow, that's creepy. She's almost pretty, but then her Arms... The proportions are all off :smalleek:
She's barely more than bone...

[Mystic Muse]

I recall an image on Cracked that describes my thoughts on "Size zero"


"Shouldn't a size zero look like this?" Cue photo-shopped picture of a woman where she had no waist, just her spine.:smalltongue:

[H Birchgrove]

Asta Kask: My thoughts are with you. I like you and wish you a speedy recovery. :smallfrown:

[Skeppio]

I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

Good luck Asta. I hope you can get all the help you need, and make a fast recovery. *lots of hugs and best wishes*

[Arachu]

This thread has taken a rather dark turn this go around. I hope all of you are okay. :smalleek:

For all those having trouble, may you find the peace and solace you seek. We all deserve succor of some sort.

I... don't have anything constructive to add, I suppose. Just a general feeling of being very supportive.
*Hug*


Ooh, Scarlett. Very nice~
Though it would mesh weird with the whole posting in blue thing. You big on irony, Ara?

It doesn't quite 'click' for me, though it is a nice name. :smallsmile:

Though, I do like irony... :roach:


I'm confused. Your family makes blessing others into an insult?

Anytime something nice happens, they say something about everyone involved being blessed - that wouldn't be so bad, but they always put this emphasis on it. Like, the person who didn't die in a car crash is blessed, I'm blessed for having such an "easy" life, etc...

Didn't mean to 'raise my voice' (as it were), they're just so Matrix-y with the word it creeps me out. :/


The "easy" kilt method involves folding a 5' by 15' wool blanket, folding it in half, pleating it, and using two belts to fasten it in place (is suggest a web belt for the interior; completely adjustable, and unseen.

It sounds hard, but there is a certain joy in having to put effort into your clothing.

Yeah, it's nice making nice things. If you spend enough time on it, you can make every detail 'yours', you know? :haley:

On that note, I just realized that I've gotten most of the scratches off of the back of my right thumbnail. Yay! :smalltongue:

(Right, right, there was a subject...) - There's not very much around here to make into clothes, sadly - towels aren't large enough, the only blankets I'd use are the ones everyone sleeps with, there aren't any spare curtains...

The shirt I'm wearing at the moment is a promising candidate, though. It got a lot of tiny holes in the front when I was welding (at the time, I couldn't keep my shirts under my jacket :/). I like this shirt, but it looks bad now... :turninggears:

I bet it'd be the perfect length if I took off the damaged part, and the back half could be divided and used to patch the sleeves (possibly into pockets). Any remaining material could cover the front/back holes (between the shoulder seams), and the bottom could either be folded and made into another end seam or left as-is (if it looks frill-like and I like how it looks :smallwink:)... I could maybe even go as far as to incorporate a drawstring from one of my shorts, or find an old pair to scavenge a waistband from.

I like planning things. :smallbiggrin:



Arra, or Ara, maybe? It's also diminutive for Arachu, so you can just say its eastern if someone questions you.

Maybe for now... I actually didn't know that Arachu is a name until recently - I randomly thought it maybe 6 years back, making a character for Runescape. I don't even know if I've been pronouncing it the same way (uh-rack-oo, or however you enunciate a consonant "u" sound with letters.)... :smallredface:

[Triscuitable]

I'm getting worse in my depression and will try to get admitted to a hospital. I've been getting thoughts about how my friends and family will be better off without me, and those thoughts never lead to a good place. Most of my friends on the forum post here, so that's why I chose this somewhat odd place. I'll be gone for two weeks or so.

You should take a break, a vacation, if you will. Come to Washington. It may rain constantly, but it's a relaxing life full of good people, and nice areas. I wouldn't recommend Seattle, but small towns just outside of Seattle, surrounding the Puget Sound (Lynwood, Edmonds, Redmond) are fantastic places.

And believe me, I know what that feels like. I felt like all my friends had just left me, for no reason at my old school. Like they'd had enough, and just wanted to see me gone. They wouldn't talk to me, a girl I thought I liked never spoke to me again, and I was so depressed that I was heavily medicated to the point where I couldn't think at all. My focus was off, my head hurt, I had nobody to speak to, and even the staff at the school vilified me.

And by god, reminiscing about that stuff is really not helping right now. Thank goodness the semester is over, or I'd be having a panic attack right about now.

[KenderWizard]

Man, it's been forever since I thought of this. My ex would flip her poop if anybody called her by her birth name. Of course, her father refused to call her anything other than her birth name, but she couldn't do much about that.


I'm going to go get my woman on and cook something.
Darn that sounds both really weird/awkward and also incredibly sexist. Self-respect -1.

I had a lot of trouble figuring out what "get [one's] woman on" meant. I was like "He's going to... find a lady? ... and put her on him? ... piggyback maybe? ... and then cook?"

I think parents generally deserve a lot of exemptions.


Now I'm just confused. Effective presentation would preclude determining someone was trans without them telling and them telling would count as them outing themselves by every reckoning that I've heard.


Yes. So then, they'd have to be out to you for it to be reasonable for you to ask them what their birth name was. Otherwise you'd be guessing who's trans and who's not, which would be weird. I think we're doing that thing where we don't disagree, we're just not communicating properly.


You should take a break, a vacation, if you will. Come to Washington. It may rain constantly, but it's a relaxing life full of good people, and nice areas. I wouldn't recommend Seattle, but small towns just outside of Seattle, surrounding the Puget Sound (Lynwood, Edmonds, Redmond) are fantastic places.


No, come to Ireland! :smalltongue:

[noparlpf]

I had a lot of trouble figuring out what "get [one's] woman on" meant. I was like "He's going to... find a lady? ... and put her on him? ... piggyback maybe? ... and then cook?"

That's the part that immediately sounded awkward and weird.
You know how people sometimes say things like "I'm going to get my game on" or whatever? (Actually I don't know if I've ever seen that outside of a TV.) Well, that's what popped into my head.
Though I do know a few girls light enough to hold piggyback while cooking, it might be a bit weird to go find somebody I'm only acquainted with and ask her to hang onto my back while I cook.

[Lix Lorn]

Usually when I see fandom references online I groan inwardly because I'm too much of a hipster to openly like mainstream things, but because I have a soft spot for Karkat in my empty chest cavity this made me smile.
I reference ALL of the things. All of them.


I picked that name too! :smallbiggrin: And I am also offended by people other than my parents, brother, and grandparents insisting on calling me by my old name. I don't mind if they try and forget or slip up, but deliberately doing it when they know I don't like it is very mean.
This makes three transpersons I know with that chosen name. O_o
That's... half of them?
How many MtFs do I know... seven. I think. Yeah, almost half.


That's the part that immediately sounded awkward and weird.
You know how people sometimes say things like "I'm going to get my game on" or whatever? (Actually I don't know if I've ever seen that outside of a TV.) Well, that's what popped into my head.
Though I do know a few girls light enough to hold piggyback while cooking, it might be a bit weird to go find somebody I'm only acquainted with and ask her to hang onto my back while I cook.
'I'm gonna get my leave on, if you know what I mean.
It means I'm leaving.'

Darn you derj this is yoooooooour faaaaaaaault ♥

[KenderWizard]

That's the part that immediately sounded awkward and weird.
You know how people sometimes say things like "I'm going to get my game on" or whatever? (Actually I don't know if I've ever seen that outside of a TV.) Well, that's what popped into my head.
Though I do know a few girls light enough to hold piggyback while cooking, it might be a bit weird to go find somebody I'm only acquainted with and ask her to hang onto my back while I cook.

That would be weird! Don't do that! You could say "get [one's] homemaker on". Or "get [one's] chef on".



This makes three transpersons I know with that chosen name. O_o
That's... half of them?
How many MtFs do I know... seven. I think. Yeah, almost half.


... Uh, if you're counting me in there, I'm not trans! Sorry. :smallredface: I just changed my name for personal reasons.

[Derjuin]

Darn you derj this is yoooooooour faaaaaaaault ♥

Hahahahahahahaha! *dramatic lightning strikes and thunderbolts*

*disappears in a cloud of smoke*

oh hi lgbt thread how are you

im doin fine

Since I last posted (I think that was back in like lgbt 9? :smalleek:) not much has changed, sadly...still living in a crappy town with little to no professional psychological help nearby (closest is in Rehoboth Beach, if I recall), though I'm somewhat more secure about identifying as female, particularly in public.

[H Birchgrove]

Thanks to a fellow DA and Giantitp member, I found this guide to how to make group pages over at deviantART. (http://help.deviantart.com/groups/makeagroup/) If there is still interest, I may soon be able to make a group page for Superheroes in the Playground (SitP). :smallsmile:

Also submitted this character, and included information not in the SitP thread. (http://captain-sweden.deviantart.com/art/Team-Purple-The-pilot-282808151)

I also submitted the rest of Team Purple, but those entries need to be edited. :smallsigh:

[Mina Kobold]

I am certainly interested, Mr. Birchgrove Swedenshield! :3

I even drew Queerkitty, on my Deviantart! But you have all permission to use the picture. I trust Birchy things! :smallsmile:

Also, I think chocolate makes me genki. Must test-Ooh, Pinkie Pie brand peanut butter! That would be fun! @w@

[Arachu]

Hahahahahahahaha! *dramatic lightning strikes and thunderbolts*

*disappears in a cloud of smoke*

oh hi lgbt thread how are you

im doin fine

Since I last posted (I think that was back in like lgbt 9? :smalleek:) not much has changed, sadly...still living in a crappy town with little to no professional psychological help nearby (closest is in Rehoboth Beach, if I recall), though I'm somewhat more secure about identifying as female, particularly in public.

*Hugs* Reminds me of my situation. :/

Nice to hear about your progress, though. :smallbiggrin:


Names:
I've narrowed it down... Somewhat. :roach:

Aislinn, Cyra, Ariana, Bianca, Camille, and Edana.

I like Aislinn most, so I'll try it out first. I may or may not modify it to Aislynn, if I like it. :3

Incidentally, I just realized that I have quite a bit of Irish in me - some from my Dad's side, more from my mom's if Cajuns have Irish in 'em. Wherever I got my freckles and light-colored body hair from, it's convenient how you can't tell that I shaved my arms at a glance. :smallbiggrin:

Also, interesting development today:
I happened to end up sitting in the car with my mom for a while today (we were picking my aunt up from work), and out of boredom I decided to see if coins can be used to file nails.

Turns out they can't (though it seems that my nails are harder than nickel, as they can smooth the ridges on a quarter without dulling :smallcool:), but after a while I offhandedly asked if I could get one of those tiny brushes you use to clean under your fingernails. Curiously, she offered to get me a manicure kit (though she went on to mention that "boys should have short nails and hair" and go on and on about how "nice" I look with short hair :smallannoyed:) - consequently, I may be able to move on from my improvised whetstone method soon. :haley:

... I still want to rig up some sort of motor assembly capable of holding/spinning a cotton swab, though. They're really good for careful buffing and cuticle massaging, but they're so difficult to spin properly. :/

Also:
Does anyone else have really sensitive cuticles? Mine receded to nigh nonexistence over the years, and now that I've started to take care of them... It feels, way better to rub them than it seems like it should. :smallconfused: :smallredface:

[Coidzor]

Names:
I've narrowed it down... Somewhat. :roach:

Aislinn, Cyra, Ariana, Bianca, Camille, and Edana.

I like Aislinn most, so I'll try it out first. I may or may not modify it to Aislynn, if I like it. :3

Incidentally, I just realized that I have quite a bit of Irish in me - some from my Dad's side, more from my mom's if Cajuns have Irish in 'em. Wherever I got my freckles and light-colored body hair from, it's convenient how you can't tell that I shaved my arms at a glance. :smallbiggrin:You... ah... You want people to think your name is pronounced the same as Island? :smallconfused:

Gotta admit, that's... not exactly a standup crowd of names. Ariana's the most promising of the bunch though. You really, really do not want Camille though, given the associations that's going to draw between the British Royal Family or Vampire the Masquerade. :smallyuk: And have you tried saying "Bianca" out loud? The sound alone is just so...cacophonous. :smalleek:

Why did your Irish heritage only just now come to light?

[Nix Nihila]

You... ah... You want people to think your name is pronounced the same as Island? :smallconfused:

Gotta admit, that's... not exactly a standup crowd of names. Ariana's the most promising of the bunch though. You really, really do not want Camille though, given the associations that's going to draw between the British Royal Family or Vampire the Masquerade. :smallyuk: And have you tried saying "Bianca" out loud? The sound alone is just so...cacophonous. :smalleek:

Why did your Irish heritage only just now come to light?

Well, somebody isn't going to like her name no matter what she chooses. I think it's most important that the name feels right. I know there are a lot of names I think are pretty but that don't feel like they should be my name. Similarly, there are names that feel like they could be my name, but I'm not a huge fan of.

[Arachu]

You... ah... You want people to think your name is pronounced the same as Island? :smallconfused:

Gotta admit, that's... not exactly a standup crowd of names. Ariana's the most promising of the bunch though. You really, really do not want Camille though, given the associations that's going to draw between the British Royal Family or Vampire the Masquerade. :smallyuk: And have you tried saying "Bianca" out loud? The sound alone is just so...cacophonous. :smalleek:

Why did your Irish heritage only just now come to light?

Is that how that would be pronounced? Didn't consider that... I was thinking it with an "a" sound. Sounds almost like a surname, but actual adapted surnames aren't unheard of these days.

I actually haven't played Vampire the Masquerade, but the main reason I was pondering Camille is for its meaning - 'swiftness of foot'. As I'm losing weight prior to moving out (and possibly transitioning), it would broadly mean something like 'free' for more reasons than one.

As for Bianca, I'm not sure why I like the sound of that. :shrug:

I knew I had Irish heritage before, but I also knew I had pretty much everything east of Spain and west of Russia - I just didn't think about it very much. It occurred to me that I probably have more than I thought while browsing the list of names Asta linked, though I only mention it because it's neat.

[Coidzor]

Well, somebody isn't going to like her name no matter what she chooses. I think it's most important that the name feels right. I know there are a lot of names I think are pretty but that don't feel like they should be my name. Similarly, there are names that feel like they could be my name, but I'm not a huge fan of.

No sense in dismissing the notion that some names are more unfortunate than others as you suggest though. Better the negatives come to light before Arachu has gotten attached to a single choice. :smalltongue:

[Nix Nihila]

No sense in dismissing the notion that some names are more unfortunate than others as you suggest though. Better the negatives come to light before Arachu has gotten attached to a single choice. :smalltongue:

Definitely. I suppose my point was more that it doesn't matter much whether you or I think a certain name sounds cacophonous since that's a subjective thing. I know I'm prejudiced against certain names which start with "K", but that doesn't have much to do with whether or not it's right for someone else. Feedback on names is always good though.

[KenderWizard]

Names:
I've narrowed it down... Somewhat. :roach:

Aislinn, Cyra, Ariana, Bianca, Camille, and Edana.

I like Aislinn most, so I'll try it out first. I may or may not modify it to Aislynn, if I like it. :3

Incidentally, I just realized that I have quite a bit of Irish in me - some from my Dad's side, more from my mom's if Cajuns have Irish in 'em. Wherever I got my freckles and light-colored body hair from, it's convenient how you can't tell that I shaved my arms at a glance. :smallbiggrin:


I think Aislinn is better than Aislynn. People might say "EYES-lin", but, y'know, most names are mispronounced by someone. Both my born name and my chosen name have been oddly mispronounced.

Also, if you are near people who were born in Ireland, don't say "I'm Irish", say "I have some Irish heritage". We can tell. :smalltongue:

[Kneenibble]

I think "Bianca Donk" would make a good drag name.

Nobody ask me to pick their new transgender name though. I can only do campy drag queen names.

[Coidzor]

I think Aislinn is better than Aislynn. People might say "EYES-lin", but, y'know, most names are mispronounced by someone. Both my born name and my chosen name have been oddly mispronounced.

Also, if you are near people who were born in Ireland, don't say "I'm Irish", say "I have some Irish heritage". We can tell. :smalltongue:

In Ireland, maybe. In North America it's considered the height of rudeness for someone to insist upon stripping someone's ethnic heritage from them.

[Arachu]

Well, somebody isn't going to like her name no matter what she chooses. I think it's most important that the name feels right. I know there are a lot of names I think are pretty but that don't feel like they should be my name. Similarly, there are names that feel like they could be my name, but I'm not a huge fan of.

That's how I feel about it - if I'm going to pick my own name, I should hope it's one I like. :picky: :smalltongue:


No sense in dismissing the notion that some names are more unfortunate than others as you suggest though. Better the negatives come to light before Arachu has gotten attached to a single choice. :smalltongue:

'Course - pessimists remind the optimists to think harder. :smalltongue:


I think Aislinn is better than Aislynn. People might say "EYES-lin", but, y'know, most names are mispronounced by someone. Both my born name and my chosen name have been oddly mispronounced.

True. I don't think the mispronunciation would be too bad, though (watch a group of schoolgirls teleport behind me and yell "ISLAND! ISLAND!" now :smalltongue:).


Also, if you are near people who were born in Ireland, don't say "I'm Irish", say "I have some Irish heritage". We can tell. :smalltongue:

I was afraid someone'd call me out on that... :smallredface:


I think "Bianca Donk" would make a good drag name.

Nobody ask me to pick their new transgender name though. I can only do campy drag queen names.

... It is so hard not to spam every smiley in the pane right now. :smallbiggrin:

[bluewind95]

Names:
I've narrowed it down... Somewhat. :roach:

Aislinn, Cyra, Ariana, Bianca, Camille, and Edana.

I like Aislinn most, so I'll try it out first. I may or may not modify it to Aislynn, if I like it. :3




I'm partial to Ariana. Such a pretty name. Flows very nicely. Easy to pronounce. Just sounds pretty. I totally could be named Ariana.

[H Birchgrove]

I am certainly interested, Mr. Birchgrove Swedenshield! :3

I even drew Queerkitty, on my Deviantart! But you have all permission to use the picture. I trust Birchy things! :smallsmile:

Also, I think chocolate makes me genki. Must test-Ooh, Pinkie Pie brand peanut butter! That would be fun! @w@

I found you at DA! Queerkitty is adorable! *pets kitty* :smallbiggrin:


Names:
I've narrowed it down... Somewhat. :roach:

Aislinn, Cyra, Ariana, Bianca, Camille, and Edana.

I like Aislinn most, so I'll try it out first. I may or may not modify it to Aislynn, if I like it. :3

Incidentally, I just realized that I have quite a bit of Irish in me - some from my Dad's side, more from my mom's if Cajuns have Irish in 'em. Wherever I got my freckles and light-colored body hair from, it's convenient how you can't tell that I shaved my arms at a glance. :smallbiggrin:

I love Bianca! :smallsmile:

To be honest, it could have to do with the Disney film The Rescuers, with one Miss Bianca. :smallwink:

Camille is nice too. :smallsmile:

Cyra sounds like an annoying Swedish slang word (it's completely innocent, meaning something like "please", but derived from "juste").

My mind keeps changing Ariana into Adriana, but it's beautiful.

Edana reminds me about Edam cheese. (Sorry!)

Aislinn looks like a cool name, but I'm not sure how to pronounce it.


Also:
Does anyone else have really sensitive cuticles? Mine receded to nigh nonexistence over the years, and now that I've started to take care of them... It feels, way better to rub them than it seems like it should. :smallconfused: :smallredface:[/color]

Had to google it. :smallsmile:

I used to have issues with it, but now I don't, and I haven't bothered with them for awhile.


I think "Bianca Donk" would make a good drag name.

Nobody ask me to pick their new transgender name though. I can only do campy drag queen names.

Which drag queen name would you give an otherwise "macho"* Afro-American who specializes in Josephine Baker-based acts? :smallsmile:

*Aeronautical engineer, pilot, US Army veteran, body-builder, martial artist, secret agent, etc.

[Astrella]

I picked that name too! :smallbiggrin: And I am also offended by people other than my parents, brother, and grandparents insisting on calling me by my old name. I don't mind if they try and forget or slip up, but deliberately doing it when they know I don't like it is very mean.

Oh, not really the name I expected. Then again, I have no idea what name I would've expected, so. >.>


Hahahahahahahaha! *dramatic lightning strikes and thunderbolts*

*disappears in a cloud of smoke*

oh hi lgbt thread how are you

im doin fine

Since I last posted (I think that was back in like lgbt 9? :smalleek:) not much has changed, sadly...still living in a crappy town with little to no professional psychological help nearby (closest is in Rehoboth Beach, if I recall), though I'm somewhat more secure about identifying as female, particularly in public.

:smallfrown: *hugs*

You should post more often!


Names:
I've narrowed it down... Somewhat. :roach:

Aislinn, Cyra, Ariana, Bianca, Camille, and Edana.

I like Aislinn most, so I'll try it out first. I may or may not modify it to Aislynn, if I like it. :3

Ooh, how do you pronounce that? :o


Also, interesting development today:
[spoiler]I happened to end up sitting in the car with my mom for a while today (we were picking my aunt up from work), and out of boredom I decided to see if coins can be used to file nails.

Turns out they can't (though it seems that my nails are harder than nickel, as they can smooth the ridges on a quarter without dulling :smallcool:), but after a while I offhandedly asked if I could get one of those tiny brushes you use to clean under your fingernails. Curiously, she offered to get me a manicure kit (though she went on to mention that "boys should have short nails and hair" and go on and on about how "nice" I look with short hair :smallannoyed:) - consequently, I may be able to move on from my improvised whetstone method soon. :haley:

... I still want to rig up some sort of motor assembly capable of holding/spinning a cotton swab, though. They're really good for careful buffing and cuticle massaging, but they're so difficult to spin properly. :/

That's nice. :smallsmile:


Also:
Does anyone else have really sensitive cuticles? Mine receded to nigh nonexistence over the years, and now that I've started to take care of them... It feels, way better to rub them than it seems like it should. :smallconfused: :smallredface:

What are cuticles?

[Arachu]

I'm partial to Ariana. Such a pretty name. Flows very nicely. Easy to pronounce. Just sounds pretty. I totally could be named Ariana.

I know what you mean! It was hard picking between the two. :smallbiggrin:


I love Bianca! :smallsmile:

To be honest, it could have to do with the Disney film The Rescuers, with one Miss Bianca. :smallwink:

I have a suspicion that I got it from a character in Dragon Age Origins - she's an utter psychopath that shows up right before one of the hardest choices in the game, but something about that name sounded awesome for some reason. :smalltongue:

Wait, wait, her name only sounded like Bianca...:nevermind: :smallredface:


Edana reminds me about Edam cheese. (Sorry!)

:smalltongue:


Aislinn looks like a cool name, but I'm not sure how to pronounce it.

I've been going with [ayes-lin] - I'm not sure if that's actually the way the name is meant to be pronounced (somehow I missed the pronunciation guide :smalltongue:), but it means 'dream' (accurately describes my attention span, no? :smalltongue:).

I thought about swapping a "y" in (to combine it with Lynn, which is either the diminutive for Linda ('beautiful', I think it was) or its own name ('cascade')), but Kender's right about the "i" spelling looking better. :smallsmile:


Had to google it. :smallsmile:

I used to have issues with it, but now I don't, and I haven't bothered with them for awhile.

I'm missing a whole half of the one on my right thumb. I think I scratched it off in high school! :what: Hopefully they grow back...


:smallfrown: *hugs*

You should post more often!

*Agrees*


Ooh, how do you pronounce that? :o

(see above - I've been pronouncing the "a" the way it sounds in "bay", and the "s" isn't silent. :) )


That's nice. :smallsmile:

:smallbiggrin:


What are cuticles?

The little coverings of skin on the base of your nails, I believe - I used to be brutal towards the nails themselves, so mine look... Ill. :/

Mine are absurdly sensitive, though. I actually don't feel comfortable comparing what they're as sensitive as on the thread... :IdontevenknowhowIfeelaboutthat:

[SiuiS]

You... ah... You want people to think your name is pronounced the same as Island? :smallconfused:

Gotta admit, that's... not exactly a standup crowd of names. Ariana's the most promising of the bunch though. You really, really do not want Camille though, given the associations that's going to draw between the British Royal Family or Vampire the Masquerade. :smallyuk: And have you tried saying "Bianca" out loud? The sound alone is just so...cacophonous. :smalleek:

Why did your Irish heritage only just now come to light?

I am actually rather sure that name is supposed to be "Ash-Lin" but names are terrible in ways that are terrible.

And I get more of a Gonzo the Weirdo vibe from Camilla than a V:tM vibe. And it's really in how you wear the name. Though I'd change it to Camille (Cuh-Meal, or thereabouts) because I like the fluted shape.


In Ireland, maybe. In North America it's considered the height of rudeness for someone to insist upon stripping someone's ethnic heritage from them.

it would be the same if someone born and raised in Germany were to say "I'm American" instead of "I have American heritage" I believe.

[Coidzor]

it would be the same if someone born and raised in Germany were to say "I'm American" instead of "I have American heritage" I believe.

Not really. "American" isn't really an ethnicity yet. And given our hangups, unlikely to be within the lifetimes of the generation of our hypothetical or real children. Whereas saying that someone who is predominantly X in descent cannot claim that heritage and has to claim another, inferior status on pain of implied violence...

[golentan]

Mine are absurdly sensitive, though. I actually don't feel comfortable comparing what they're as sensitive as on the thread... :IdontevenknowhowIfeelaboutthat:[/COLOR]

I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.

[Mystic Muse]

*Hugs Golentan*

[Arachu]

I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.

*Hugs until arms fall off*

[Astrella]

I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.

*bucketloads of hugs*

[Skeppio]

I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.

*infinite hugs* :smallfrown:

[Kneenibble]

I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.

Okay, partly
*monocle pops off*

But partly
You are a lovely person and please don't deprive the world of your unique self by going to the watery underworld. If you think people and the blind rust-pitted gears of our institutional machines can be stupid and cruel, wait until you spend any significant time in the company of tuna or anemones or *shudder* krill swarms. Dull dates, goldenbeige. Dull dates.


Which drag queen name would you give an otherwise "macho"* Afro-American who specializes in Josephine Baker-based acts? :smallsmile:

*Aeronautical engineer, pilot, US Army veteran, body-builder, martial artist, secret agent, etc.

Cas Tyron :smallamused:

edit Also

I don't mean to take away from anybody else having a hard time right now, but I've had a really bad day. :(

Sad story:
I don't know if you all remember me mentioning the date with my wife in which we were going to go shopping, get me some clothes, and then dress up for the first time presenting as a woman. Well, we finally had some time coming up this weekend for it, so we were making plans.

Last night we got to talking, and she suggested I try using a girl's voice, to practice. This isn't something I'd done before, so I was quite shy about it...

Anyway, we got to talking about things and the conversation took a pretty sad turn. I'll spare the details, but it pretty much came down to a very open and honest talk where I realized she was doing the date to be supportive, though she pretty much didn't want to do it at all. She loves me very much and wants me to be happy. But essentially it boils down to her wanting to do the date secretly hoping that I would realize I didn't want to go through with the whole transition thing, and I was secretly hoping she would at a minimum realize she could tolerate the date and enjoy herself, and (if a miracle occurred) at a maximum she would realize I'm still me no matter what, and I could go forward with transition.

Well obviously this is a recipe for disaster. If I were to go out in public, I would be extremely vulnerable emotionally, and if I sensed she was disapproving or uncomfortable during the date, I'm pretty certain I would take it horribly bad. The potential to damage our marriage is too great, so I called the whole thing off.

So now I'm pretty depressed. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, or even want to do. I know that my wife is pretty much all I have in this world outside of my children, and I never want to lose her. Now she senses my depression and says she only wants me to be happy. Which, if I know her, means she's going to do something stupid like think she's the cause of my upset and think that leaving me would make it better. :(

On another note, to those also struggling for other reasons, my heart goes out to you. Please PM me if you want to vent and/or chat. And don't worry about me having problems of my own... sometimes talking to others about theirs really helps. :)

As usual, madame, I observe your dilemma with compassion, but cannot even begin to know how to help you untangle the wriggling strands.

All in all in all, though, love wins the day. *hug*

[H Birchgrove]

I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.

*hugs golentan* :smallfrown:

Are your parents okay with your relationship?


Cas Tyron :smallamused:

Thanks! :smallsmile:

Now I only need a real name for him... :smalleek: Is "Freeman" overused? Appropriately symbolic or too obvious?

[turkishproverb]

*Hugs golentan*

[Reluctance]

*gives Golentan some diving gear*

Go under. Spend some time with other interesting varieties of earthling life. When the tank starts to get low, come back up for another one. When talking to fish feels silly enough that it puts some space between you and yesterday, come back up to surface life.

[KenderWizard]

Ethnic identity:


In Ireland, maybe. In North America it's considered the height of rudeness for someone to insist upon stripping someone's ethnic heritage from them.


Not really. "American" isn't really an ethnicity yet. And given our hangups, unlikely to be within the lifetimes of the generation of our hypothetical or real children. Whereas saying that someone who is predominantly X in descent cannot claim that heritage and has to claim another, inferior status on pain of implied violence...

See, in Ireland, it's considered fairly rude to co-opt someone else's life experience based on a tenuous connection. I mean, yeah, if your parents are Irish, cool. Once it gets to, like, one grandparent, a lot of American people still seem to go for "Oh, I'm Irish too!" and we're a bit like "Well, hon, no, you're not." You've got some Irish in you, and that's cool that you're proud of it and you have heritage there, that's all fine, but what am I supposed to identify as then? Extra-Irish? 100%-Irish? I think I should get the word and you should get the clarification. Go with Irish-American, or part-Irish or something. It'd be like me saying "Oh, I'm a traveller (or, from what I understand, Native American), because my granny is, but I've always been settled (not living on a res?) and passed for settled and don't partake of any of the traveller culture." And we're not violent towards them, we're just kind of... it's just seen as a bit rude and silly.

Anyway, American may not be a coherent ethnicity, but it is a legitimate identity. Calling it an inferior identity seems strange to me. Ye (Americans) generally seem fairly proud of yer country, and rightly. Surely if your parents are American born and you grew up there and you've got, y'know, Thanksgiving and stuff, all that culture, surely that's plenty? Even if 3 of your grandparents are then Irish, or Italian, or Nigerian, you'd be Whatever-American? I suppose I just don't understand the mindset there.




I was afraid someone'd call me out on that... :smallredface:


Don't worry, it's cool. Just a head's up. :smallsmile: We'll just think you're weird.



Also, Aislinn, as in the Irish name, is indeed pronounced ASH-lin. There's also the related name Aisling (ASH-ling) which I've always liked.

Edit: OHMYGOSH I forgot to hug Golentan! *hugs!!* That sucks, I hope you feel better soon!

[Lix Lorn]

... Uh, if you're counting me in there, I'm not trans! Sorry. :smallredface: I just changed my name for personal reasons.
Oh! okay. The more you know.

...
Is it alright if I ask about the reasons, or would you rather I didn't? I'm curious, but I'll get over it.


I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.
(MASS HUGS)

[KenderWizard]

Oh! okay. The more you know.

...
Is it alright if I ask about the reasons, or would you rather I didn't? I'm curious, but I'll get over it.


Oh, well, it's not exciting. I always hated the way my given name sounded with my surname, so, when I was old enough, I decided to change. Like I said, if I was doing it now, I might have picked something different, maybe something Irish like my given name was, but I couldn't think of one I liked as much as Emily. Also, I'm still in the awkward phase where half of things are in one name and half in the other! (Because I was already registered for college; your name just gets passed up through the system, so it's whatever you were registered with in primary school. Also, passports are expensive.)

[Caustic Soda]

*hugs* for Golentan, my favorite multi-limbed alien. Feel better soon.

[Arachu]

See, in Ireland, it's considered fairly rude to co-opt someone else's life experience based on a tenuous connection. I mean, yeah, if your parents are Irish, cool. Once it gets to, like, one grandparent, a lot of American people still seem to go for "Oh, I'm Irish too!" and we're a bit like "Well, hon, no, you're not." You've got some Irish in you, and that's cool that you're proud of it and you have heritage there, that's all fine, but what am I supposed to identify as then? Extra-Irish? 100%-Irish? I think I should get the word and you should get the clarification. Go with Irish-American, or part-Irish or something. It'd be like me saying "Oh, I'm a traveller (or, from what I understand, Native American), because my granny is, but I've always been settled (not living on a res?) and passed for settled and don't partake of any of the traveller culture." And we're not violent towards them, we're just kind of... it's just seen as a bit rude and silly.

I see it similarly, but I consider you to 'count' as any ethnicity you inherit/identify as (it saves a lot of time to just say I'm a "Polish, Cajun, British, Irish, [...] Swede" :smalltongue:). I use "nationality" for more specific purposes. :smallsmile:

(It'd probably be easier to say "Germano-Baltic Franko-Fenno-Swede" or something. I dunno, I find that "wossname" sums it up nicely. :smalltongue:)


Don't worry, it's cool. Just a head's up. :smallsmile: We'll just think you're weird.

:smallsmile:


Also, Aislinn, as in the Irish name, is indeed pronounced ASH-lin. There's also the related name Aisling (ASH-ling) which I've always liked.

I worked that out this morning... :smallredface: I like my mispronunciation, though. ^_^


EDIT: *Hugs Golentan some more, for good measure*

[The Succubus]

Oh, well, it's not exciting. I always hated the way my given name sounded with my surname, so, when I was old enough, I decided to change. Like I said, if I was doing it now, I might have picked something different, maybe something Irish like my given name was, but I couldn't think of one I liked as much as Emily. Also, I'm still in the awkward phase where half of things are in one name and half in the other! (Because I was already registered for college; your name just gets passed up through the system, so it's whatever you were registered with in primary school. Also, passports are expensive.)

There's been more than a few times when I've considered something similar. Not for the purposes of gender or anything like that but purely because of the amount of grief I got over it. Even in my 30s, I still get the odd snide comment about my name. :smallannoyed:

[Lix Lorn]

Oh, well, it's not exciting. I always hated the way my given name sounded with my surname, so, when I was old enough, I decided to change. Like I said, if I was doing it now, I might have picked something different, maybe something Irish like my given name was, but I couldn't think of one I liked as much as Emily. Also, I'm still in the awkward phase where half of things are in one name and half in the other! (Because I was already registered for college; your name just gets passed up through the system, so it's whatever you were registered with in primary school. Also, passports are expensive.)
Ooooh, okay. I used to really hate my given name, but I guess I'm kinda ambivalent now. It's not an unpleasant name, It's just not mine.


There's been more than a few times when I've considered something similar. Not for the purposes of gender or anything like that but purely because of the amount of grief I got over it. Even in my 30s, I still get the odd snide comment about my name. :smallannoyed:
...may I ask?
(Is clearly just nosy)

[The Succubus]

On this one occasion, my sweet Lixy, I'm going to have to say no. This forum is one of the few places where my name isn't the subject of mockery by anyone and I'd rather keep it that way.

Sorry. =/

[Lix Lorn]

Kaykay. My curiosity shall have to remain.
(snuggles Succubus-chan)

[Fredaintdead]

Kaykay. My curiosity shall have to remain.
(snuggles Succubus-chan)

I heard Snuggles... *joins in*
:smallbiggrin:
I like snuggles. :smallsmile:

[Mina Kobold]

There's been more than a few times when I've considered something similar. Not for the purposes of gender or anything like that but purely because of the amount of grief I got over it. Even in my 30s, I still get the odd snide comment about my name. :smallannoyed:

Well, Succubus is a pretty funny name. :3

On the subject, though, I personally don't particularly like my name. But the irony of an Atheist named in two ways after a religious figure is pretty groovy.

Plus, I could actually introduce myself as "The Anointed One! Born of the Cult of the Living Dead!" without lying. X3

[Kneenibble]

Thanks! :smallsmile:

Now I only need a real name for him... :smalleek: Is "Freeman" overused? Appropriately symbolic or too obvious?

My guess is that Freeman is a little tacky. What part of the States is he from?

[bluewind95]

*hugs golentan*

Can you maybe get the watch fixed? I know watches tend to be fairly fixable... at least depending on the type of watch.

Man, I love watches. So much. I have so many of them. I love them so much. Broken watches must all be fixed

[The Succubus]

I've never been able to wear a watch. No matter which sort I try, I find the strap chafes my wrist. Its like having a reminder of my own mortality there all the time.

[bluewind95]

You should try a pocket watch, then. Those are pretty awesome, and you'll find that they don't chafe your wrist.

[noparlpf]

That would be weird! Don't do that! You could say "get [one's] homemaker on". Or "get [one's] chef on".

Yeah, something like that would probably be better. "Get my woman on" is just what popped into my head, followed less than a second later by awareness of how ridiculous it sounded.


Names:
I've narrowed it down... Somewhat. :roach:

Aislinn, Cyra, Ariana, Bianca, Camille, and Edana.

I like Aislinn most, so I'll try it out first. I may or may not modify it to Aislynn, if I like it. :3

How is "Aislinn" pronounced? Is it "ash-lin" like Kender said?
Bianca sounds better when pronounced properly in Italian. When pronounced with my boring not-quite New England not-quite New York accent, it does feel a little bit weird on my tongue. Which stinks because I have a friend named Bianca.


I actually am the same way about my earlobes.

So, guys, desperately need a hug. My watch broke, my kindle broke, those were both christmas presents that I loved, my college is being unrelenting in its attempts to nickel and dime harass me into an early grave, and work is making me want to strangle myself with rusty chicken wire. So, I spent some time with my girlfriend today, we went on a hike, watched some movies, started fooling around... and my family got home an hour early with my pants around my ankles (got them up in time... sort of... I think... (I think my dad noticed)).

I kind of feel like walking down to the ocean and just keeping going right now.

Aww. That sounds like a really stinky time. Feel better. n.n
And don't go into the ocean without scuba gear.


Edit: Oh yeah and my laptop broke yesterday morning, so I'm on a computer in the school library. Hopefully ITS will have finished wiping everything and reinstalling the OS soon.

[KenderWizard]

Ooooh, okay. I used to really hate my given name, but I guess I'm kinda ambivalent now. It's not an unpleasant name, It's just not mine.

...may I ask?
(Is clearly just nosy)

Yeah, apparently you are, but we still love you! :smallwink:


Well, Succubus is a pretty funny name. :3

On the subject, though, I personally don't particularly like my name. But the irony of an Atheist named in two ways after a religious figure is pretty groovy.

Plus, I could actually introduce myself as "The Anointed One! Born of the Cult of the Living Dead!" without lying. X3

And clearly, you should!


I've never been able to wear a watch. No matter which sort I try, I find the strap chafes my wrist. Its like having a reminder of my own mortality there all the time.

Well, that got dark at the end. Aside from the sudden morbid turn, I agree. I never wear one. I wore one for a while when I was learning the time - I suppose I was about three or four. But the strap annoys me and I don't find the concept very useful. But I can understand that it is. I'm reasonably good at judging time and these days, if necessary, I can always just check on my phone.


By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.


Also, how about that LGBT+ stuff? :smalltongue:

[Al'izh'dheg]

Please put my name on the card. If Al'izh'dheg is hard to spell or whatever, just say it's from Alyce and I'll explain later?

[KenderWizard]

Please put my name on the card. If Al'izh'dheg is hard to spell or whatever, just say it's from Alyce and I'll explain later?

Don't worry, honey, I can just copy it down from the forum. I'll probably have to do that with most people's names anyway, since I tend to identify people by avatar. Speaking of which, where's Kneenibble gone? I've lost him. :smallwink:

[Astrella]

You can add Lena to the card. Oh, and could you also pm me his address? I might have a chance to send a card sometimes next week.

[Heliomance]

You... ah... You want people to think your name is pronounced the same as Island? :smallconfused:

Gotta admit, that's... not exactly a standup crowd of names. Ariana's the most promising of the bunch though. You really, really do not want Camille though, given the associations that's going to draw between the British Royal Family or Vampire the Masquerade. :smallyuk: And have you tried saying "Bianca" out loud? The sound alone is just so...cacophonous. :smalleek:

Why did your Irish heritage only just now come to light?

Uh... what?

Even without knowing Aislinn is supposed to be pronounced Ash-linn, I can't see how you'd stick a d on the end. My impulse was to pronounce it "Aye-linn", as opposed to "Aye-lund". Not really seeing the similarity.

Camille is much the same. The Royal family member is Camilla, pronounced "cam-ILL-a". Camille is a different name, pronounced "cam-EEL", and has absolutely connection to the Windsors at all.

And yes, I've tried saying Bianca out loud. I quite like it.

[Coidzor]

Uh... what?

Even without knowing Aislinn is supposed to be pronounced Ash-linn, I can't see how you'd stick a d on the end. My impulse was to pronounce it "Aye-linn", as opposed to "Aye-lund". Not really seeing the similarity.

You guys pronounce the "D" in Island? Unless I'm grossly misremembering and Arachu is in Britland like you are, odds are in favor of your pronunciation not being ubiquitous.


Camille is much the same. The Royal family member is Camilla, pronounced "cam-ILL-a". Camille is a different name, pronounced "cam-EEL", and has absolutely connection to the Windsors at all.

Now you're assuming people are nuanced enough to know that. Never rely upon people's goodness or status as informed. :smalltongue:


And yes, I've tried saying Bianca out loud. I quite like it.

Must be a difference between how British people pronounce it and the wide variety of American accents I can think of that are horrible. Like, the Texan version. :smalleek:

[KenderWizard]

You can add Lena to the card. Oh, and could you also pm me his address? I might have a chance to send a card sometimes next week.

Will do!

Also, I can't imagine pronouncing island without the d!

[noparlpf]

By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.


Also, how about that LGBT+ stuff? :smalltongue:

I don't have any stamps and the school bookstore never actually has any, so could you please just put down my name on the card with more well-wishings?


You guys pronounce the "D" in Island? Unless I'm grossly misremembering and Arachu is in Britland like you are, odds are in favor of your pronunciation not being ubiquitous.

You mean people don't pronounce the 'D' in some places? Whoa. Dude at the next computer over can't imagine it without a 'D' either.

[Coidzor]

You mean people don't pronounce the 'D' in some places? Whoa. Dude at the next computer over can't imagine it without a 'D' either.

...For the amount of complaints I hear from British, Australian, and Canadian English-Speakers about U.S. produced entertainment glutting them, I must admit, I'm kind of surprised by your reactions.

I suppose it's irrelevant what American accents sound like to Arachu if she is outside of North America, though I had thought Arachu had indicated that she was North American with the cajun family ancestry along with some other things I can't recall the specifics thereof.

[Mina Kobold]

By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.

If you would be so endlessly kind, I would like to be put upon the card as well. :smallsmile:



Also, I can't imagine pronouncing island without the d!

I tried, but the closest I could come to removing the D ended up as "Aye-lannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" ^_^'

Guess there's some Irish in the Anointed Kobold after all. :3

[golentan]

*hugs golentan* :smallfrown:

Are your parents okay with your relationship?


They haven't criticized, but I don't think they know she's trans and I'm not sure how they'd cope with that.

Thanks for the hugs everyone.

[Nix Nihila]

I know one person from Oregon who doesn't pronounce the d in island, but I can't think of anyone else who says it that way. I suppose I oughtn't be surprised though, since we almost never pronounce our Ts over here, which produces a similar effect.

*squeezes golentan and Asta*

Please put my name on the card as well, Kender.

[noparlpf]

...For the amount of complaints I hear from British, Australian, and Canadian English-Speakers about U.S. produced entertainment glutting them, I must admit, I'm kind of surprised by your reactions.

I suppose it's irrelevant what American accents sound like to Arachu if she is outside of North America, though I had thought Arachu had indicated that she was North American with the cajun family ancestry along with some other things I can't recall the specifics thereof.

Huh. I'm going to poll my acquaintances on this.


If you would be so endlessly kind, I would like to be put upon the card as well. :smallsmile:



I tried, but the closest I could come to removing the D ended up as "Aye-lannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" ^_^'

Guess there's some Irish in the Anointed Kobold after all. :3

Speaking of the Anointed Kobold, when I copied your previous statement into a Google search, the first result was a Wikipedia page about Jesus Christ. Is your name Jesus? Or some variation of Chris?
Edit: If you don't mind, obviously, because asking for personal info online is generally a no-no.

[SiuiS]

Ethnic identity:

See, in Ireland, it's considered fairly rude to co-opt someone else's life experience based on a tenuous connection. I mean, yeah, if your parents are Irish, cool. Once it gets to, like, one grandparent, a lot of American people still seem to go for "Oh, I'm Irish too!" and we're a bit like "Well, hon, no, you're not." You've got some Irish in you, and that's cool that you're proud of it and you have heritage there, that's all fine, but what am I supposed to identify as then? Extra-Irish? 100%-Irish? I think I should get the word and you should get the clarification. Go with Irish-American, or part-Irish or something. It'd be like me saying "Oh, I'm a traveller (or, from what I understand, Native American), because my granny is, but I've always been settled (not living on a res?) and passed for settled and don't partake of any of the traveller culture." And we're not violent towards them, we're just kind of... it's just seen as a bit rude and silly.

I am of conflicting opinions, here. I see what you mean, and totally agree. But it's creating. Segregational line based on whether one is Irish or truly Irish. But it's also perfectly acceptable because discernment and discrimination are quite similar, connotations aside.

I guess it's situational? One can be be Irish until its important to determine how much and how far back, then it gets qualified. Kender wizard is just saying beforehand that in Ireland, amongst the folks there, you will be required to qualify more often than not. Which leads me to a tangent.

[tangent]My da is real big on being Irish(-American :smalltongue:). His da, my grandfather, apparently actually came from the isle, or possibly my great grandfather (because they have the same name, and my family seems to actively dislike having any sort of followable history -_-*).

Because of this, and because of my disparate interests, I apparently have a faux Irish accent. It really helps when I have to enunciate clearly, since. Alifornian's tend to mumble. It also embrasses me to no end, because no matter where I work, I get more than my share of folks from Europe and England and Ireland and even some folks who were militantly Scottish. And I can't hold the bloody accent in check for the life of me. It gets worse when around similar, and gets worse when stressed... Though I worse comes to worst I could say I'm Canadian >_>;


Anyway, American may not be a coherent ethnicity, but it is a legitimate identity. Calling it an inferior identity seems strange to me. Ye (Americans) generally seem fairly proud of yer country, and rightly. Surely if your parents are American born and you grew up there and you've got, y'know, Thanksgiving and stuff, all that culture, surely that's plenty? Even if 3 of your grandparents are then Irish, or Italian, or Nigerian, you'd be Whatever-American? I suppose I just don't understand the mindset there.

This is a touchy subject. In part because of the attitude of "you're not really [ancestry]". American is not an accepted culture, so to find any connection to their past American youths have to dig for stuff that connects them to something already established. And while it looks like a good enough answer to the outside world, 'American'just isn't an acceptable label. You'd have to be southern, or Texan, or Californian, or a yank, or a confederate, or a hillbilly, or a city slicker, or... Any number of things which nail you to a specific area, terrain, and lifestyle, otherwise you're nothing.

Myself, I don't see it as having a maximum capacity, but consider, the difference between our. Current example, Irish and Irish-American is that one is 100% and the other is not; for the same percentage, the Irish-American is subpar. They aren't Irish enough to be Irish; they aren't American enough to be American. And I've seen this first-hand, with a Russian American friend who is derided by his distant family, and not American enough for his current family.

I personally think this directly contributes to all the kooky subgroupings over here, as kids have no grounding in part due to parents blindly reinforcing the "everyone is equal" making it so the heritage the kid could be proud of doesn't matter. Groups form, and sub groups and splinter groups, all in an effort to both belong and yet individuate.

I've lost my train of thought though, as between typing it's I've been getting ready for work... Sorry if thats disjointed or not self-supporting. I'm going for the general idea more than specifics.

[auote]
Also, Aislinn, as in the Irish name, is indeed pronounced ASH-lin. There's also the related name Aisling (ASH-ling) which I've always liked.

Edit: OHMYGOSH I forgot to hug Golentan! *hugs!!* That sucks, I hope you feel better soon![/QUOTE]

I recently saw Secret Of Kells with bad subtitles. I was confused as all get out to see "ashley" show up for her name... Aisling is a gorgeous name though, yes. It is pleasing to phonate.


On this one occasion, my sweet Lixy, I'm going to have to say no. This forum is one of the few places where my name isn't the subject of mockery by anyone and I'd rather keep it that way.

Sorry. =/

It is unfortunate to know the trouble is acute enough that even here you withhold the cause, but understandable. I appreciate what you have shared in any case =3



Well, that got dark at the end. Aside from the sudden morbid turn, I agree. I never wear one. I wore one for a while when I was learning the time - I suppose I was about three or four. But the strap annoys me and I don't find the concept very useful. But I can understand that it is. I'm reasonably good at judging time and these days, if necessary, I can always just check on my phone.

That's true in the end... I suppose I have gotten so used to the phone that it never occurred to me. Still, I'd like a watch. Pocket preferably. Those are classy.



By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.

Go ahead and throw my name in if you would please. Or if that wouldn't work, doodle a vaguely horse-like shape with a wizard hat XD


Don't worry, honey, I can just copy it down from the forum. I'll probably have to do that with most people's names anyway, since I tend to identify people by avatar. Speaking of which, where's Kneenibble gone? I've lost him. :smallwink:

Kneenibble is now noticeable for having the secondbest pony avatar EVER.


Uh... what?

Even without knowing Aislinn is supposed to be pronounced Ash-linn, I can't see how you'd stick a d on the end. My impulse was to pronounce it "Aye-linn", as opposed to "Aye-lund". Not really seeing the similarity.

Camille is much the same. The Royal family member is Camilla, pronounced "cam-ILL-a". Camille is a different name, pronounced "cam-EEL", and has absolutely connection to the Windsors at all.

And yes, I've tried saying Bianca out loud. I quite like it.

*nods in agreement throughout*

[KenderWizard]

I don't have any stamps and the school bookstore never actually has any, so could you please just put down my name on the card with more well-wishings?



If you would be so endlessly kind, I would like to be put upon the card as well. :smallsmile:





Please put my name on the card as well, Kender.



Go ahead and throw my name in if you would please. Or if that wouldn't work, doodle a vaguely horse-like shape with a wizard hat XD


I got ye.

In reply to SiuiS on identity and such:

Okay, I think I get where you're coming from. It's very different here; we only very recently got people arriving, so we're very homogeneous! In light of what you said, since it seems to be very important to people in America, I understand why you'd shorten it to "Swiss" rather than "Swiss-American". I kind of thought people just didn't talk about it, since it doesn't come up here much. If you don't have an Irish accent, people will ask where you're from, but that's about the extent of it. I would say that, when communicating with people who are European, in a born and live kind of way, it's worth being precise and adding in the "-American" or "part-". Certainly for Irish people. A lot of Irish people emigrated to the States. It's a series of tragic chapters in our history. There are way more people with Irish heritage than there are people who are born and raised Irish, so it happens a lot! Anyway, on a lighter note, we do really like when people with Irish heritage visit. And also people without Irish heritage. We generally like visitors!

Okay, I'm going to try one of my generally-unsuccessful moves to rejoin the tangent (on ethnic identity) to the subject matter at hand. Do you feel that parts of your identity - since I suppose a lot of people here have thought more seriously about identity than is usual - are more important or inherent than other parts? Do you think you'd still be "you" if you lost part? Would I still be Kender if I wasn't Irish? If I wasn't bi? If I wasn't a feminist? If I wasn't a gamer? All of the above?

[Mystic Muse]

Please add my name to the letter.

[KenderWizard]

Please add my name to the letter.

Will do, honey.

[Mutant Sheep]

Can I be added to the letter for Asta too?:smallredface:

[bluewind95]

By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.


Can you please add my name to the card too?

[SiuiS]

I got ye.

In reply to SiuiS on identity and such:

Okay, I think I get where you're coming from. It's very different here; we only very recently got people arriving, so we're very homogeneous! In light of what you said, since it seems to be very important to people in America, I understand why you'd shorten it to "Swiss" rather than "Swiss-American". I kind of thought people just didn't talk about it, since it doesn't come up here much. If you don't have an Irish accent, people will ask where you're from, but that's about the extent of it. I would say that, when communicating with people who are European, in a born and live kind of way, it's worth being precise and adding in the "-American" or "part-". Certainly for Irish people. A lot of Irish people emigrated to the States. It's a series of tragic chapters in our history. There are way more people with Irish heritage than there are people who are born and raised Irish, so it happens a lot! Anyway, on a lighter note, we do really like when people with Irish heritage visit. And also people without Irish heritage. We generally like visitors!

Aye, it's a strange issue. In this regard, I think you're right. It's presumptuous to go up to you, say, and declare I'm just as Irish as you are. I am probably, genetically not.

But for someone for whom it's a big part of their identity...

I continued with the tangent because it is at least laterally relevant. I say it's ok for someone of the country and ethnicity to differentiate between themselves and Someone descended from emigrants, so long as its done tactfully and not to tear the other person down.

But the same thing, I hear, is a problem with LGBTA issues isn't it? Bisexuals are that enough to be fully accepted, nor straight enough to not get flak. The two are not unidentical. What then makes discerning between ethnicities ok but not between orientations? What is splitting hairs in one scenario is appropriate discernment in another, even within its own category (either ethnicity, orientation, or something else). So of course it's possible to differentiate between two vastly different categories. But if it's done implicitly, it's bias where if it is a rational decision it is not.

I found myself on the wrong side of this argument around... Almost 9 months ago. And into the spoiler boxes, as this could potentially cause folks distress.

[trigger alert]an old old friend of mine slowly segued into being bisexual, and at least moderately into BDSM stuff. And a bunch of fringe neopagan stuff, and really, anything his folks wouldn't let him look into while growing. He went for them more for the freedom and rebelliousness of it than as a conscious decision, and I jibed him a lot for it - my old social role was as a scourger, constantly playing devils advocate.

One day we were playing D&D and he was cracking jokes about being bisexual. A week later, I cracked a similar joke, in front of some of his friends he swung with (seeing as one was male and the other female, I figured they were aware of the bisexuality 9_9) and he got defensive.

So of course, I tore Into him >///<

I began a debate over a lot of things, and it got muddled. All I remember clearly is having a debate with one where I argued hardware definition? And she, software. And I could tell from her expression and eyes that she just didn't know I already knew everything she was saying and was talking about something else entirely; that two particular bits of hardware interacting was a homosexual act, despite the software of the two involved. No stead of reasoned debate however, I got panic and fear and just didn't catch on.

Looking back, aside from the terrible social gauche of my ignorance, I can see that that was an instance on their part where a spectrum view was appropriate, and that the conversation I thought I was having would consider that splitting hairs.

That's a lot more awkward in retrospect... But whatever. I prefer to be judged by my worst than my best. But there are times where that level of delineation is important. It is vital to know if someone is 85% ethnic or 84%, and sometimes it's enough to know they are ethnic.

Hm. Actually, that's a bigger bias than I thought. Isn't assuming someone is American first with a little bit of something else, kind of like assuming masculinity and then modifying it? I'm not firing on all cylinders right now though, the connection is tenuous and difficult to support with words. Perhaps it's a knee-jerk association? I get those, simply as a matter of finding anew angle to explore, for good or ill.

EDIT: and the rest of my rant I will belay, because you struck the crux; if it's actually important to the person's self identity, then more care is required. But that doesn't mean you should be punished for not knowing either. You've acted eminently reasonably, and in a very respectable manner :smallsmile:


Okay, I'm going to try one of my generally-unsuccessful moves to rejoin the tangent (on ethnic identity) to the subject matter at hand. Do you feel that parts of your identity - since I suppose a lot of people here have thought more seriously about identity than is usual - are more important or inherent than other parts? Do you think you'd still be "you" if you lost part? Would I still be Kender if I wasn't Irish? If I wasn't bi? If I wasn't a feminist? If I wasn't a gamer? All of the above?

I am in the awkward position of being defined more but what I'm not. The divisions, more than the labels, are how I perceive myself. Mostly; I have recently developed a thought form who prefers to be inclusive rather than restrictive. It goes counter to my old moral framework but that part of myself is so much happier than the rest. I suppose this requires further reflection.

But to directly answer the question, I would say no. Being a gamer, being a jerk, being nice; these things stem from me, and not the other way around. If I didn't have the label I would still have the attitudes and such.

Which is like, a third perspective which doesn't jive with the rest of this post at all. I really need to recompile >_<"

[supernerd]

I'd like to be on the card too, if you don't mind.

[golentan]

I'd definitely like to sign the card, so to speak.

[Dogmantra]

Please add my name to the card for Asta.

[Mono Vertigo]

On the topic of first name changing: I hate mine with a passion, for the biggest part because of the way it sounds, and also because of unfortunate experience/associations. I'm seriously considering getting rid of it, and using my middle name instead. It just so happens to be one I kinda like, and I'm extremely picky when it comes to names.
Honestly, I have much less trouble finding masculine names I do like. They hardly if ever end in -ine or -ie/y, and just sound more.. neutral. There aren't so many that sound cute and/or childish, or that can be shortened in such a way. Must all be entirely subjective though. I just dislike my name a lot.
Incidentally, we both hated my boyfriend's old name too. Me because it resembled mine in all the bad ways, and him for much more objective reasons. I'm glad it's gonna be a thing of the past.

@golentan: *hugs*




By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.

Could I be included on the card? :smallsmile:

[Coidzor]

I am of conflicting opinions, here. I see what you mean, and totally agree. But it's creating. Segregational line based on whether one is Irish or truly Irish.

Thank you for conveying that thought when I was too overwhelmed with inchoate rage to communicate intelligently.

[bluewind95]

Regarding name-changing and first names and stuff

I don't mind my first name, really. But due to bullying I *hate* the general shortening of it. Mainly because when I was little, I'd turn around when I heard that only to get a ":smallyuk: I'm not talking to YOU". Which made me feel :smallfrown:. So I have people call me a similar name, but not quite the same.

My last name, however, meshes with my first name in such a way that people keep reading it as the male form of the name. I never really minded that. What I *did* mind was people laughing at me for it.

[Nix Nihila]

Okay, I'm going to try one of my generally-unsuccessful moves to rejoin the tangent (on ethnic identity) to the subject matter at hand. Do you feel that parts of your identity - since I suppose a lot of people here have thought more seriously about identity than is usual - are more important or inherent than other parts? Do you think you'd still be "you" if you lost part? Would I still be Kender if I wasn't Irish? If I wasn't bi? If I wasn't a feminist? If I wasn't a gamer? All of the above?

Well, that depends on how you define what "you" consists of (for example, would a robot with all of your memories be you?). I'm not quite sure that that's what you meant though. There are certain things that are rather important to me, such as my gender, aesthetic, (lack of) religion, and my interests in gaming, art, and mathematics. Other things aren't really important to my identity at all, such as my sex or ethnicity.

[Heliomance]

You guys pronounce the "D" in Island? Unless I'm grossly misremembering and Arachu is in Britland like you are, odds are in favor of your pronunciation not being ubiquitous.
Adding my voice to the incredulous "you guys don't? crowd.




Now you're assuming people are nuanced enough to know that. Never rely upon people's goodness or status as informed. :smalltongue:
Put it this way - if you said the name Camille over this side of the pond, the thought of the Royal family wouldn't even cross anyone's minds. They wouldn't go "Oh, no, that's not the same as Camilla", they just wouldn't think of the possibility. I assume that the British royal family is somewhat less known in Trogland than in Britland, so I honestly can't imagine why anyone would connect it with the Duchess of York.


ION, I'll join in with that card too, if ye'd be so kind.

[Mutant Sheep]

Adding my voice to the incredulous "you guys don't? crowd.

Seriously. The D is right there. :smalltongue:


I'm ok with my name, though I'd be fine with something more generic. :smallsigh:

[Triscuitable]

Can you please add my name to the card too?

Put my real name down. I'll pm it to you. Put it next to my alias.

[golentan]

Okay, so I know it would be a horrible violation of her trust, but I want to talk to my family or friends about the fact my girlfriend is trans. It feels like it's this massive thing with its own complications and what not and I want to talk it out with a third party. :smallsigh:

Not going to, but still...

[Triscuitable]

Okay, so I know it would be a horrible violation of her trust, but I want to talk to my family or friends about the fact my girlfriend is trans. It feels like it's this massive thing with its own complications and what not and I want to talk it out with a third party. :smallsigh:

Not going to, but still...

I've dealt with "friends" (and I use the term loosly) who've had parties when their parents are away, and how they've gotten ahold of vodkas and scrumpies. I've told on them every time. Why? For their own safety. They're 15 years old, and drinking alcohol.

Now when it's a person you love, who's done nothing wrong, then betraying their trust is a bad thing. And I mean really bad. You can't tell people about someone behind their backs when they've done nothing wrong. Otherwise it's just betraying trust to inform someone else.

You need his permission before you tell your parents about his personal gender. I'm calling it that, because I have no idea what the name for it is.

[Ceric]

I've dealt with "friends" (and I use the term loosly) who've had parties when their parents are away, and how they've gotten ahold of vodkas and scrumpies. I've told on them every time. Why? For their own safety. They're 15 years old, and drinking alcohol.

Now when it's a person you love, who's done nothing wrong, then betraying their trust is a bad thing. And I mean really bad. You can't tell people about someone behind their backs when they've done nothing wrong. Otherwise it's just betraying trust to inform someone else.

You need his permission before you tell your parents about his personal gender. I'm calling it that, because I have no idea what the name for it is.

Psst golentan's girlfriend is female

[Triscuitable]

Psst golentan's girlfriend is female

I believed she was an FtM. My apologies.

[golentan]

Nope, then I wouldn't be calling her "her." Any more than I would actually betray her trust by outing her without her permission. I just... I hate secrets, especially with people I care about. And while I care about her, I do wish I could share important details with the people I trust at the same time.

[Kneenibble]

Okay, so I know it would be a horrible violation of her trust, but I want to talk to my family or friends about the fact my girlfriend is trans. It feels like it's this massive thing with its own complications and what not and I want to talk it out with a third party. :smallsigh:

Not going to, but still...

I've forgotten -- how out to your family are you about being an embodied creature from another world who mates with all kinds of humans willy nilly?


edit Er, that implied a lot more promiscuity than I meant. You know what I mean.

[Kindablue]

By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.

Could you put my name on it as well?


Well, that depends on how define what "you" consists of (for example, would a robot with all of your memories be you?). I'm not quite sure that that's what you meant though. There are certain things that are rather important to me, such as my gender, aesthetic, (lack of) religion, and my interests in gaming, art, and mathematics. Other things aren't really important to my identity at all, such as my sex or ethnicity.

This probably says more about the kind of person I am than it does identity in the abstract, but I see myself wholly in the eyes of others; how my attitudes and interests are expressed is more who I am than what they are by themselves is. A robot that would react to a situation exactly like I would and is reacted to exactly like I would be is me, but one that simply had all of my thoughts and ideas isn't.

[Skeppio]

By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.

Ooh! I'd like to be added to the card please. Send him my best wishes and *hugs*! :smallsmile:

[Coidzor]

Adding my voice to the incredulous "you guys don't? crowd.

You already did. And I already responded to that. :smallannoyed:

[Triscuitable]

Nope, then I wouldn't be calling her "her." Any more than I would actually betray her trust by outing her without her permission. I just... I hate secrets, especially with people I care about. And while I care about her, I do wish I could share important details with the people I trust at the same time.

I hate secrets too, but just because you want to share them doesn't mean it's your right. You need to understand she is the only person who can tell them, and if you do, that can cause a rift in your relationship.

Also, if you're this concerned with what opinion your parents have on the subject of a transgendered girlfriend, then maybe your parents don't deserve to know. In fact, not one parent in the world has a right to dictate the will of the child. My dad wants me to have a girlfriend, get married, and have a son. The likeliness of that happening is very small, but he respects what I believe.

[Glass Mouse]

I know I'm nowhere near a regular in here, but if it's okay, I'd like to be on the "wish Asta well" card, too :smallsmile:

[Lix Lorn]

I definitely want to be on the card, if that's okay.

[Astrella]

Okay, so I know it would be a horrible violation of her trust, but I want to talk to my family or friends about the fact my girlfriend is trans. It feels like it's this massive thing with its own complications and what not and I want to talk it out with a third party. :smallsigh:

Not going to, but still...

Have you brought it up with her?

[turkishproverb]

Have you brought it up with her?

This. Before you do anything, THIS.

[Mina Kobold]

Speaking of the Anointed Kobold, when I copied your previous statement into a Google search, the first result was a Wikipedia page about Jesus Christ. Is your name Jesus? Or some variation of Chris?
Edit: If you don't mind, obviously, because asking for personal info online is generally a no-no.

My last name is derived from Christ, but my fist name is a bastardisation of an epithet that is associated with him. Messiah, to be specific. :smallsmile:

Although, it saddens me that the first page was not the much groovier Anointed one of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My geek half is not amused! :smallmad::smalltongue:



This is a touchy subject. In part because of the attitude of "you're not really [ancestry]". American is not an accepted culture, so to find any connection to their past American youths have to dig for stuff that connects them to something already established. And while it looks like a good enough answer to the outside world, 'American'just isn't an acceptable label. You'd have to be southern, or Texan, or Californian, or a yank, or a confederate, or a hillbilly, or a city slicker, or... Any number of things which nail you to a specific area, terrain, and lifestyle, otherwise you're nothing.


If I may add my two copper pieces, I think the bolded areas might be the problem. Ancestry and culture are not considered particularly related in some countries. :smallsmile:

It's a bit like someone who opposes same-sex marriage or adoption considering themselves an Ally because their parents are Allies, to give an example that disguises the off-topicness. :3

I am, however, just a silly Kobold. So feel free to ignore my copper pieces. Makes it easier to steal yours! :smallamused::smalltongue:

[Anethiel]

My last name is derived from Christ, but my fist name is a bastardisation of an epithet that is associated with him. Messiah, to be specific. :smallsmile:

My first name translates loosely as "Lighthouse of Christ". My surname translates as "Of the Priest". As I am the most radical atheist I ever met IRL, I find this extremely funny. :smallbiggrin:

[KenderWizard]

I'd like to be on the card too, if you don't mind.


I'd definitely like to sign the card, so to speak.


Please add my name to the card for Asta.




Could I be included on the card? :smallsmile:



ION, I'll join in with that card too, if ye'd be so kind.


Put my real name down. I'll pm it to you. Put it next to my alias.


Could you put my name on it as well?



Ooh! I'd like to be added to the card please. Send him my best wishes and *hugs*! :smallsmile:


I know I'm nowhere near a regular in here, but if it's okay, I'd like to be on the "wish Asta well" card, too :smallsmile:


I definitely want to be on the card, if that's okay.

Okie dokie!

Identity and such:

I think Keveak's got it. And I also think the fact that Coid apparently became incredibly enraged about it reinforces to me what SiuiS said about it (ancestry) being way more important over there than over here. I suppose that's logical for a young, receiver country, so I'm sorry if I upset anyone. I should have been more clear about what I meant by "heritage" when I was using it; the important part of "Irishness" to me is the cultural heritage. We have our own culture that we have had to fight really, really hard to keep against waves of invaders who constantly changed us, most significantly the British. When I say I'm more Irish than someone else, I don't mean I'm closer to the Irish genetic average (even if I probably am, due to our embarrassingly tiny gene pool!), I mean I have a cultural heritage that's different from someone who's grown up to American-born parents in America.

And I certainly don't mean it in a way that implies I'm better, like the gay-bi-straight argument often seems to. I think being Irish-American is a great place to be. You've got access to the best of both worlds. All the talents that people seem to ascribe to Irishness, with none of the country-wide-poverty, futility, tininess, pettiness or horrible civil war!


I'm going to try to be a lot more patient with people who call themselves Irish, because I didn't know it was so important to people. It sounds like they're just trying to be cool by claiming something that isn't really theirs. Not that I give out to people I meet in pubs who do it, just roll my eyes a little when they're not looking! :smalltongue:

I was trying to come up with a comparison to something LGBT+ related, but I think that's just inherently different. Ethnicity or genetic background is something that can be quantified, like hair colour. Culture is something that you get born into and is a function of your parents and your environment, like language. Gender is something inherent that is in you, regardless, as is sexuality. You could have stolen me as a baby and raised me in the States and I'd be genetically Irish if someone tested my DNA, but culturally American, and still a woman and bi, but those last two are in my mind, so to speak, and can't be determined by the outside world, except by my behaviour and words, which I control.

Mmh, thorny. :smalltongue:

[Astrella]

how-to-ask-a-trans-person-questions-without-being-insensitive-about-it/ (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/03/how-to-ask-a-trans-person-questions-without-being-insensitive-about-it/), 'nother article by Natalie.

[golentan]

Okay, why is anyone, let alone everyone, interpreting my comments as "I am going to say something without asking?" Because truth be told, being (as it seems to me willfully) misinterpreted like that bugs the HELL out of me.

[Worira]

Because you mentioned it being a horrible violation of her trust? It pretty obviously isn't if you ask her first.

[golentan]

I've asked, I don't have permission, I still want to talk about it for all the reasons I wanted to talk about it in the first place. And then I repeatedly said "I'm not going to." I just wanted to whine about secrets and closets, and I repeatedly, and I want to emphasize this, REPEATEDLY said I wouldn't violate her trust. :smallannoyed:

[turkishproverb]

Okay, why is anyone, let alone everyone, interpreting my comments as "I am going to say something without asking?" Because truth be told, being (as it seems to me willfully) misinterpreted like that bugs the HELL out of me.

I wasn't interpreting it as "I am going to". I was just making sure it didn't slip your mind, as it were.

No negative thoughts intended.

[Zea mays]

[cautiously de-lurks]
Er, hello thread!

There was talk a while back about a rainbow of kitties, which inspired me to grab the ones in my avatar and do this:

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/rima_long/spectrumCats1.png

That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled support thread.

*No felines were harmed or subjected to possibly allergenic substances during the making of this image.

[noparlpf]

Okay, I'm going to try one of my generally-unsuccessful moves to rejoin the tangent (on ethnic identity) to the subject matter at hand. Do you feel that parts of your identity - since I suppose a lot of people here have thought more seriously about identity than is usual - are more important or inherent than other parts? Do you think you'd still be "you" if you lost part? Would I still be Kender if I wasn't Irish? If I wasn't bi? If I wasn't a feminist? If I wasn't a gamer? All of the above?

First a grammar point: The subjunctive form of "to be" is "were", so when you're talking about a hypothetical case, you should use "were". "If I weren't a feminist", for example. Sorry about the grammar-sniping; I tend to do that more when I'm tired, and the D&D one-shot last night lasted until 2 AM, which is four hours past my bedtime. (Amusingly, my Truenamer did really well.)
I've noticed that racial and cultural heritage, at least in my area of New England, seems to be more consciously important to people of "minority" groups. It's another part of privilege and whatnot. Because I'm white, cismale, and asexual, it took me a long time (seventeen out of not-quite-eighteen years is a long time to me) to realize that race, sex, gender, and sexuality are as big a deal as they are. I do consider my sexuality and gender to be more important because I've thought about them a lot more in the last six or eight months, but I still don't have any real ethnic cultural background. If it comes up in conversation, I'll mention that I'm half Russian, half German, or that I'm Jewish, but I didn't get any of the cultural heritage of Russia or Germany growing up, and I barely got the Jewish stuff because my dad is a non-religious Christian and my mum is an atheist Jew.
So to sum up, yes, people will probably consider certain parts of their identities more important than others, privilege can make one's culture/sex/gender/sexuality/skin color/political views/religious views/&c. seem like the "default" and therefore make it seem a less important part of one's identity, and if any part of one's background were different, one would likely be at least a slightly different person.


My last name is derived from Christ, but my fist name is a bastardisation of an epithet that is associated with him. Messiah, to be specific. :smallsmile:

Although, it saddens me that the first page was not the much groovier Anointed one of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My geek half is not amused! :smallmad::smalltongue:

It's okay, that was one or two results down. At least it was on the first page of results.
Wait, only half of you is geek? I'm disappointed in you.

[Astrella]

Okay, why is anyone, let alone everyone, interpreting my comments as "I am going to say something without asking?" Because truth be told, being (as it seems to me willfully) misinterpreted like that bugs the HELL out of me.

I wasn't implying that, just wondering if you had brought up your concerns about it with her.

[Lix Lorn]

[cautiously de-lurks]
Er, hello thread!

There was talk a while back about a rainbow of kitties, which inspired me to grab the ones in my avatar and do this:

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/rima_long/spectrumCats1.png

That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled support thread.

*No felines were harmed or subjected to possibly allergenic substances during the making of this image.
This is adorable beyond words.

[pffh]

Right I'm in an odd mood. I spent the day playing with my less then year old niece and came to the conclusion that I could never date (although sure I can sleep with them) a male, mtf woman, ftm man or an infertile woman. Why? I want to have kids one day that are mine. That is I want them to have my genetic material since I'm a bit obsessed with immortality and this is the only way something of me can live on. In addition to that surrogate mothers are illegal here and I could never see an adopted child as mine (I´d see it as someone elses child that I would be raising).

I just wanted to type this out and this seemed as good place as any for it. Am I crazy?

[Astrella]

Technically you could have a biological kid with a FtM if he had put aside some egg cells before transitioning. I'm sorta curious about an outright ban on dating though, does every relationship have to end in kids for you? :smallconfused:

(Oh, I hope this doesn't come over as accusing, just curious~)

But hey, it's a valid concern and I don't think you deserve to be looked down upon for it. I don't completely agree, but then again, I'm not you. :smalltongue:

[pffh]

. I'm sorta curious about an outright ban on dating though, does every relationship have to end in kids for you? :smallconfused:


Well if I'm seriously dating someone with intent of eventually settling down then yeah I would hope it would end in kids. (Might be terminology thing but dating here means a relationship)

[Mina Kobold]

[cautiously de-lurks]
Er, hello thread!

There was talk a while back about a rainbow of kitties, which inspired me to grab the ones in my avatar and do this:

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/rima_long/spectrumCats1.png

That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled support thread.

*No felines were harmed or subjected to possibly allergenic substances during the making of this image.

... SQUEEEEEEEE! An entire QueerKitty group! X3

I must hug them! O_o

*Glomps everybody, cats and cakemakers to aliens and accountants*



It's okay, that was one or two results down. At least it was on the first page of results.
Wait, only half of you is geek? I'm disappointed in you.

The other halves are a hippie and a Kobold, does that help?

Whacha mean I can't have three halves?


Well if I'm seriously dating someone with intent of eventually settling down then yeah I would hope it would end in kids. (Might be terminology thing but dating here means a relationship)

Dating usually means a relationship involving dates, yes. What that entails seem to wary, some cultures and subcultures consider it just a friendly thing you can do when you need companionship while others will take pictures and claim you are engaged. :smallsmile:

Thus, I propose that we get a system of dating grades, from casual coffee to serious smooching! :3

[supernerd]

Right I'm in an odd mood. I spent the day playing with my less then year old niece and came to the conclusion that I could never date (although sure I can sleep with them) a male, mtf woman, ftm man or an infertile woman. Why? I want to have kids one day that are mine. That is I want them to have my genetic material since I'm a bit obsessed with immortality and this is the only way something of me can live on. In addition to that surrogate mothers are illegal here and I could never see an adopted child as mine (I´d see it as someone elses child that I would be raising).

I just wanted to type this out and this seemed as good place as any for it. Am I crazy?

I hear you. I feel the same about adoption and such, but alas as my bf said when I told him about the Kinsley scale, he said, "well them I'm a 5 you're like a 7"

So yeah, but I love him. And I could not immagine a romantic relationship with a woman. That and vaginas give me the willies. Guess I'm just fickle.

Edit: I don't think that qualifies as obscenity, but sorry if it does.

[KenderWizard]

[cautiously de-lurks]
Er, hello thread!

There was talk a while back about a rainbow of kitties, which inspired me to grab the ones in my avatar and do this:

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/rima_long/spectrumCats1.png

That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled support thread.

*No felines were harmed or subjected to possibly allergenic substances during the making of this image.

OHMYGOSH THIS IS AMAZING!! Also, love your username. You should de-lurk more often, wonderful lurker person. :smallsmile:


First a grammar point: The subjunctive form of "to be" is "were", so when you're talking about a hypothetical case, you should use "were". "If I weren't a feminist", for example. Sorry about the grammar-sniping; I tend to do that more when I'm tired, and the D&D one-shot last night lasted until 2 AM, which is four hours past my bedtime. (Amusingly, my Truenamer did really well.)
I've noticed that racial and cultural heritage, at least in my area of New England, seems to be more consciously important to people of "minority" groups. It's another part of privilege and whatnot. Because I'm white, cismale, and asexual, it took me a long time (seventeen out of not-quite-eighteen years is a long time to me) to realize that race, sex, gender, and sexuality are as big a deal as they are. I do consider my sexuality and gender to be more important because I've thought about them a lot more in the last six or eight months, but I still don't have any real ethnic cultural background. If it comes up in conversation, I'll mention that I'm half Russian, half German, or that I'm Jewish, but I didn't get any of the cultural heritage of Russia or Germany growing up, and I barely got the Jewish stuff because my dad is a non-religious Christian and my mum is an atheist Jew.
So to sum up, yes, people will probably consider certain parts of their identities more important than others, privilege can make one's culture/sex/gender/sexuality/skin color/political views/religious views/&c. seem like the "default" and therefore make it seem a less important part of one's identity, and if any part of one's background were different, one would likely be at least a slightly different person.



My first point is that dialect is a legitimate form of cultural heritage, so get yourself away from me grammar. :smalltongue:

Do you consider your New England culture to be culture? I'm going to guess you do things (or did as a child and would do with your own child) on Hallowe'en and Christmas, and celebrate Thanksgiving? Maybe you get candy corn or sweethearts at particular times of year? You could probably make a joke about, I dunno, Lyndon B Johnson?

Otherwise, I agree. And even though it's not exactly LGBT+, it is all tied in with identity and privilege and I'm glad we're talking about it because obviously other people have very different experiences than I do with regard to these kinds of identities.


Right I'm in an odd mood. I spent the day playing with my less then year old niece and came to the conclusion that I could never date (although sure I can sleep with them) a male, mtf woman, ftm man or an infertile woman. Why? I want to have kids one day that are mine. That is I want them to have my genetic material since I'm a bit obsessed with immortality and this is the only way something of me can live on. In addition to that surrogate mothers are illegal here and I could never see an adopted child as mine (I´d see it as someone elses child that I would be raising).

I just wanted to type this out and this seemed as good place as any for it. Am I crazy?

Well, it makes sense that you would feel an urge to pass on genetic material. I would suggest not to reject people out of hand, if you really click with them, because there's always a way to do this stuff. (You could always move for a few years to have a child with a surrogate.) But I think knowing that you want to have children and working towards that is fine. (Also, you'd almost certainly form a deep bond with an adopted child if you did go for that option in the end. Many adopted children and adopting parents consider themselves to be true family members. That's what years and years of love makes.)

[Lix Lorn]

Thus, I propose that we get a system of dating grades, from casual coffee to serious smooching! :3
Two problems
Ask any addict, coffee is /serious business./
And what about casual smooching?

Your scale end points are flawed. :smalltongue:

[Kindablue]

First a grammar point: The subjunctive form of "to be" is "were", so when you're talking about a hypothetical case, you should use "were". "If I weren't a feminist", for example.

That's right. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptC9N9YJ24Y)

[KenderWizard]

By the way, everyone, I'm going to be making the card for Asta, because that's how I roll with greeting cards. I'm in the process of thinking about what to put on the front, so suggestions are welcome!

Also, on topic: how about some adorable elderly gay Spanish people (http://www.hispanicallyspeakingnews.com/notitas-de-noticias/details/spanish-lgbt-eldery-may-soon-have-own-retirement-home-in-madrid/13079/)?

[Elfinor]

@KenderWizard: If it's not too late, could you please add my name to the card as well?
That's how I figured you were responding. But of course internet-conversation lacks tone and body language, so I like to make sure I clarify things. You're too nice!:smalltongue:

I suppose anything I write with this >:smalltongue:< emoticon anywhere in or just after the sentence shouldn't be taken too seriously; I use it a lot. I'm lighthearted and not easily honestly offended (I don't think I've been personally offended by anyone on this thread) so I wouldn't take anything I say too seriously, to be honest.


That's the part that immediately sounded awkward and weird.
You know how people sometimes say things like "I'm going to get my game on" or whatever? (Actually I don't know if I've ever seen that outside of a TV.) Well, that's what popped into my head.
Though I do know a few girls light enough to hold piggyback while cooking, it might be a bit weird to go find somebody I'm only acquainted with and ask her to hang onto my back while I cook.Emphasis added
Just a bit:smalltongue: That actually sounds very awesome.


... Uh, if you're counting me in there, I'm not trans! Sorry. :smallredface: I just changed my name for personal reasons.... I think I've seen you make that clarification before, do forum people often assume that?


how-to-ask-a-trans-person-questions-without-being-insensitive-about-it/ (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/03/how-to-ask-a-trans-person-questions-without-being-insensitive-about-it/), 'nother article by Natalie. Awww man! I was hoping there would be some super-awesome-mega-cool gold standard for checking those questions. Instead I get told that everyone's different, go figure:smalltongue:

I learnt a lot from the myths and misconceptions link though.


Right I'm in an odd mood. I spent the day playing with my less then year old niece and came to the conclusion that I could never date (although sure I can sleep with them) a male, mtf woman, ftm man or an infertile woman. Why? I want to have kids one day that are mine. That is I want them to have my genetic material since I'm a bit obsessed with immortality and this is the only way something of me can live on. In addition to that surrogate mothers are illegal here and I could never see an adopted child as mine (I´d see it as someone elses child that I would be raising).

I just wanted to type this out and this seemed as good place as any for it. Am I crazy? I suppose if you really wanted to settle down with someone you couldn't have children with, there's always the option of moving somewhere that surrogacy is legal. But hell, no you're not crazy. It's your choice.

[SiuiS]

If I may add my two copper pieces, I think the bolded areas might be the problem. Ancestry and culture are not considered particularly related in some countries. :smallsmile:

It's a bit like someone who opposes same-sex marriage or adoption considering themselves an Ally because their parents are Allies, to give an example that disguises the off-topicness. :3

Ah, true. Forgive me; in casual conversation around these parts, all similar words are considered to mean roughly the same thing until specifically asked about for clarification. You are correct though.



I am, however, just a silly Kobold. So feel free to ignore my copper pieces. Makes it easier to steal yours! :smallamused::smalltongue:

D: nooo I need those to buy my filly a valentine!


Okie dokie!

Identity and such:

I think Keveak's got it. And I also think the fact that Coid apparently became incredibly enraged about it reinforces to me what SiuiS said about it (ancestry) being way more important over there than over here. I suppose that's logical for a young, receiver country, so I'm sorry if I upset anyone. I should have been more clear about what I meant by "heritage" when I was using it; the important part of "Irishness" to me is the cultural heritage. We have our own culture that we have had to fight really, really hard to keep against waves of invaders who constantly changed us, most significantly the British. When I say I'm more Irish than someone else, I don't mean I'm closer to the Irish genetic average (even if I probably am, due to our embarrassingly tiny gene pool!), I mean I have a cultural heritage that's different from someone who's grown up to American-born parents in America.

And I certainly don't mean it in a way that implies I'm better, like the gay-bi-straight argument often seems to. I think being Irish-American is a great place to be. You've got access to the best of both worlds. All the talents that people seem to ascribe to Irishness, with none of the country-wide-poverty, futility, tininess, pettiness or horrible civil war!


I'm going to try to be a lot more patient with people who call themselves Irish, because I didn't know it was so important to people. It sounds like they're just trying to be cool by claiming something that isn't really theirs. Not that I give out to people I meet in pubs who do it, just roll my eyes a little when they're not looking! :smalltongue:

I was trying to come up with a comparison to something LGBT+ related, but I think that's just inherently different. Ethnicity or genetic background is something that can be quantified, like hair colour. Culture is something that you get born into and is a function of your parents and your environment, like language. Gender is something inherent that is in you, regardless, as is sexuality. You could have stolen me as a baby and raised me in the States and I'd be genetically Irish if someone tested my DNA, but culturally American, and still a woman and bi, but those last two are in my mind, so to speak, and can't be determined by the outside world, except by my behaviour and words, which I control.

Mmh, thorny. :smalltongue:

I think I see the issue, and it is one of language.
I recognize that I don't have the same cultural backing. I wish I did have it, but it's not a regret exactly. But if someone wanted to, if someone felt it was important enough to drop what they have, move to Ireland, and "go native", absorb the culture from there, could they?

Your phrasing seemed to say "no, that boat has sailed." I don't think that's what you meant, and I certainly think you have a much better response. But that sense of exclusion from fulfilling that dream, as it were, is the problem.

Can one change the stars? I say yes. I read a news bit a good year or two ago about a Japanese man who had the misfortune to be born a Caucasian male in new york. He moved to Japan, became a citizen. The testing was rigourous, and he was harrassment constantly. The part that stuck with me was an interview with American press, who asked him repeatedly, what is it like to be a foreigner living in Japan? His response was "I'm not a foreigner, I am Japanese."

I believe him.

EDIT: this is intended as a closing argument by the way, I'm not trying to continue arguing. I'm telling myself things and phrasing them towards an external audience is all :smallsmile:


First a grammar point: The subjunctive form of "to be" is "were", so when you're talking about a hypothetical case, you should use "were". "If I weren't a feminist", for example. Sorry about the grammar-sniping; I tend to do that more when I'm tired, and the D&D one-shot last night lasted until 2 AM, which is four hours past my bedtime. (Amusingly, my Truenamer did really well.)

I am sorry, but what part of her post was wrong? I read hers, then your, and hers again and couldn't find it. That means I probably do the same thing and I'd like to correct it, if you would be so kind as to help.

Aha, found it. All I needed was a spot of time so I could reprocess... Hm. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do that all the time >>;



I've noticed that racial and cultural heritage, at least in my area of New England, seems to be more consciously important to people of "minority" groups. It's another part of privilege and whatnot. Because I'm white, cismale, and asexual, it took me a long time (seventeen out of not-quite-eighteen years is a long time to me) to realize that race, sex, gender, and sexuality are as big a deal as they are. I do consider my sexuality and gender to be more important because I've thought about them a lot more in the last six or eight months, but I still don't have any real ethnic cultural background. If it comes up in conversation, I'll mention that I'm half Russian, half German, or that I'm Jewish, but I didn't get any of the cultural heritage of Russia or Germany growing up, and I barely got the Jewish stuff because my dad is a non-religious Christian and my mum is an atheist Jew.
So to sum up, yes, people will probably consider certain parts of their identities more important than others, privilege can make one's culture/sex/gender/sexuality/skin color/political views/religious views/&c. seem like the "default" and therefore make it seem a less important part of one's identity, and if any part of one's background were different, one would likely be at least a slightly different person.

Interesting. I have had the same thing but with different consequences; by privelage making something seem like less of a big deal, I've experienced privelage actually depriving people of worth. Hence the adherence to one's heritage; being a white male American means you have no intrinsic self-worth. You quantify as other things, such as Jewish, or native American, or democratic, or vegetarian, or humanitarian, specifically to encode yourself with your values. Bu here I lose words, and begin swimming in concepts and symbolism. I hope it translates well.



Wait, only half of you is geek? I'm disappointed in you.

It's because the other half is running away with may coppers!
*chases the conspicuous rainbow kitty*

[golentan]

Whoo! I found gay sex implications in a novel series I like. It was... oh. One of the characters involved is basically everything right with his society, and the other is everything wrong with humanity ever.

I'm not sure if this is progressive... For reference, this is the Vorkosigan saga. I haven't read all that far in it, basically just 2 books and a short story with Miles and just finished Cordelia's Honor, but LGBT stuff has come up a couple of times. Apparently, lord (later Count) Vorkosigan had a thing with Vorrutyer when they where young, and while Vorkosigan is an awesome guy calling Vorrutyer a sick sadistic rapist is an insult to the sick sadistic rapist community.

[Sir Dar]

Hello thread, nice to meet you. Also hello everyone. I have a little story for you.

Today i was at last able to tell my mother, i see my self not as a man but as a woman. Things when very well overall. She ask me for reasons why i think this. Seeing how i was all ready having a hard time saying the words i wanted to and trying to keep my self from crying. The reasons i gave were poorly worded on my part or just the first thing which pop into my mind. However, i am glad things when as well as they did and that i was able to tell the family member i trust the most about my feelings. My mother did seem to take the news very well.

Thanks for listening to my small tale.

[KenderWizard]

Good for you, Sir Dar! I'm glad to hear a nice story like that. :smallsmile:


@KenderWizard: If it's not too late, could you please add my name to the card as well? You're too nice!:smalltongue:

I'll do that. I'm making it today and posting it Monday or Tuesday, so there's still time for people to join!



... I think I've seen you make that clarification before, do forum people often assume that?

Well, I suppose in here, people who are trans are more common than people who change their name. In Ireland, people who go by two names are more common than people who are (openly?) trans.




I think I see the issue, and it is one of language.
I recognize that I don't have the same cultural backing. I wish I did have it, but it's not a regret exactly. But if someone wanted to, if someone felt it was important enough to drop what they have, move to Ireland, and "go native", absorb the culture from there, could they?

Your phrasing seemed to say "no, that boat has sailed." I don't think that's what you meant, and I certainly think you have a much better response. But that sense of exclusion from fulfilling that dream, as it were, is the problem.

Can one change the stars? I say yes. I read a news bit a good year or two ago about a Japanese man who had the misfortune to be born a Caucasian male in new york. He moved to Japan, became a citizen. The testing was rigourous, and he was harrassment constantly. The part that stuck with me was an interview with American press, who asked him repeatedly, what is it like to be a foreigner living in Japan? His response was "I'm not a foreigner, I am Japanese."

I believe him.

EDIT: this is intended as a closing argument by the way, I'm not trying to continue arguing. I'm telling myself things and phrasing them towards an external audience is all :smallsmile:



That's an interesting question. I suppose it doesn't happen that often that someone changes culture to specifically change culture, rather than for job reasons or something. I mean to say, most people say "I'm moving to Country A because I want to get a job there." not "I'm moving to Country A because I feel strongly that I should be a part of their culture." But no, that's fine. I mean, I think you'd still have your original heritage, and you would find it tricky the older you were, but sure. If you go to a country to live and engage with the culture there, you definitely start to become CountryAish. Mostly, people I know who moved to Ireland identify as being of their country of origin. So, I'm glad we agree!

[H Birchgrove]

By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.

Please add my name and my hugs and my wishes of - well, what would be appropriate? "Get well soon" just don't seem to be proper - to to the letter.

:smallfrown:


My guess is that Freeman is a little tacky. What part of the States is he from?

My guess is Alabama, but it's possible he and/or his family has moved around. (He's a Tuskagee University graduate.)

His mother loves cooking soul food, if that helps, and both parents are academics.


They haven't criticized, but I don't think they know she's trans and I'm not sure how they'd cope with that.

Thanks for the hugs everyone.

I see. I hope they would treat her and you well if they ever find out.

Thank YOU, golentan, for being a great member of this forum. :smallsmile:

[KenderWizard]

Please add my name and my hugs and my wishes of - well, what would be appropriate? "Get well soon" just don't seem to be proper - to to the letter.

:smallfrown:


I think Get Well Soon is the appropriate greeting. I mean, he's dealing with an illness that we're hoping he'll get better from soon. And yes, I'll add your name!

[H Birchgrove]

I think Get Well Soon is the appropriate greeting. I mean, he's dealing with an illness that we're hoping he'll get better from soon. And yes, I'll add your name!

Thanks, my dear Kender. :smallsmile:

[Viera Champion]

I need someone to talk to about relationships again... I think I'll actually do it over PM this time.

[Astrella]

Hello thread, nice to meet you. Also hello everyone. I have a little story for you.

Today i was at last able to tell my mother, i see my self not as a man but as a woman. Things when very well overall. She ask me for reasons why i think this. Seeing how i was all ready having a hard time saying the words i wanted to and trying to keep my self from crying. The reasons i gave were poorly worded on my part or just the first thing which pop into my mind. However, i am glad things when as well as they did and that i was able to tell the family member i trust the most about my feelings. My mother did seem to take the news very well.

Thanks for listening to my small tale.

Really glad it went well.

Also, hi! *bucket of hugs*


I need someone to talk to about relationships again... I think I'll actually do it over PM this time.

I'm always willing to try and help you (or just listen~).

[supernerd]

I need someone to talk to about relationships again... I think I'll actually do it over PM this time.

You can PM me if you can stand some mutual ranting.

[golentan]

I need someone to talk to about relationships again... I think I'll actually do it over PM this time.

My box is open, as stated in the OP.


I see. I hope they would treat her and you well if they ever find out.

Thank YOU, golentan, for being a great member of this forum. :smallsmile:

Well... ummm... I think they may have found out. Yesterday they started asking me probing questions about trans issues, being very careful not to frame it in terms of MtF's or my girlfriend. So... yeah...

And thank you, that's sweet. :smallredface:

[noparlpf]

[cautiously de-lurks]
Er, hello thread!

There was talk a while back about a rainbow of kitties, which inspired me to grab the ones in my avatar and do this:

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/rima_long/spectrumCats1.png

That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled support thread.

*No felines were harmed or subjected to possibly allergenic substances during the making of this image.

This is excellent.


... SQUEEEEEEEE! An entire QueerKitty group! X3

I must hug them! O_o

*Glomps everybody, cats and cakemakers to aliens and accountants*

You're adorable.


The other halves are a hippie and a Kobold, does that help?

Whacha mean I can't have three halves?

Well, Kobolds are typically found in geeky circles, so at least one of you is geeky or directly related to geekiness, even if the other half is just a hippie.


My first point is that dialect is a legitimate form of cultural heritage, so get yourself away from me grammar. :smalltongue:

I am getting all up in your grammar. :b
(It was tempting to spell that "yeh" and "grammah" even though I don't have that kind of New England accent.)


Do you consider your New England culture to be culture? I'm going to guess you do things (or did as a child and would do with your own child) on Hallowe'en and Christmas, and celebrate Thanksgiving? Maybe you get candy corn or sweethearts at particular times of year? You could probably make a joke about, I dunno, Lyndon B Johnson?

Otherwise, I agree. And even though it's not exactly LGBT+, it is all tied in with identity and privilege and I'm glad we're talking about it because obviously other people have very different experiences than I do with regard to these kinds of identities.

Obviously it is a culture, and it's the one I grew up with. It's just that in the US a lot of people seem to have the assumption that we're best and everywhere is like here.
Personally, I do things for Thanksgiving, Passover, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, sort-of Christmas because my dad is Christian, sort-of Chanukah because it's not that big of a holiday anyway, I give passing notice to the Christian New Year, and Halloween is Free Candy Day/Discount Candy's Eve. (But I don't dress up.) So yeah, that's totally a culture with its own practices and all.


By the way, everyone, I'm going to be making the card for Asta, because that's how I roll with greeting cards. I'm in the process of thinking about what to put on the front, so suggestions are welcome!

Also, on topic: how about some adorable elderly gay Spanish people (http://www.hispanicallyspeakingnews.com/notitas-de-noticias/details/spanish-lgbt-eldery-may-soon-have-own-retirement-home-in-madrid/13079/)?

Hmm...put a rainbow on it because it's from the LGBTA+ thread. [/not artistic]

On the link: That's a nifty idea. It's cool that they're making a safe space for queer old folks. It's just a pity that the majority of elderly communities are so unaccepting.


I suppose anything I write with this >:smalltongue:< emoticon anywhere in or just after the sentence shouldn't be taken too seriously; I use it a lot. I'm lighthearted and not easily honestly offended (I don't think I've been personally offended by anyone on this thread) so I wouldn't take anything I say too seriously, to be honest.

Makes sense.


I am sorry, but what part of her post was wrong? I read hers, then your, and hers again and couldn't find it. That means I probably do the same thing and I'd like to correct it, if you would be so kind as to help.

Aha, found it. All I needed was a spot of time so I could reprocess... Hm. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do that all the time >>;

Yeah, it's a pretty common thing in English. Like how so many people use "like" colloquially these days, or how often one can see "it's" as the possessive instead of "its", or slightly more rarely, "book's" (for example) as the plural instead of "books". Another one is how often "me" and "I" are mixed up, like "he's better at math than me" when it should be "...than I (am)".
My mum's an English teacher.


Interesting. I have had the same thing but with different consequences; by privelage making something seem like less of a big deal, I've experienced privelage actually depriving people of worth. Hence the adherence to one's heritage; being a white male American means you have no intrinsic self-worth. You quantify as other things, such as Jewish, or native American, or democratic, or vegetarian, or humanitarian, specifically to encode yourself with your values. Bu here I lose words, and begin swimming in concepts and symbolism. I hope it translates well.

Interesting. A perceived lack of self-worth due to oversights made possible by one's position of privilege? I don't think I've experienced that myself, but I think I've seen it before.


Hello thread, nice to meet you. Also hello everyone. I have a little story for you.

Today i was at last able to tell my mother, i see my self not as a man but as a woman. Things when very well overall. She ask me for reasons why i think this. Seeing how i was all ready having a hard time saying the words i wanted to and trying to keep my self from crying. The reasons i gave were poorly worded on my part or just the first thing which pop into my mind. However, i am glad things when as well as they did and that i was able to tell the family member i trust the most about my feelings. My mother did seem to take the news very well.

Thanks for listening to my small tale.

Welcome!
I'm glad it went well. n.n

[The Succubus]

I think Get Well Soon is the appropriate greeting. I mean, he's dealing with an illness that we're hoping he'll get better from soon. And yes, I'll add your name!

Please add me as well. I miss Asta.

[Arachu]

(Excessive *hugs* to everyone that needs/wants them.)



By the way, everyone, Asta got in touch with me and I'm going to send him a card. If you want me to put your name on the card (it can be a big card!), let me know, and if you'd like his address to send him your own card, PM me.

Is it too late to add "Arachu (and *hugs*, for that matter)"? I finally got to hang out with my friend this weekend and his computer's getting repaired...


Edit: Oh yeah and my laptop broke yesterday morning, so I'm on a computer in the school library. Hopefully ITS will have finished wiping everything and reinstalling the OS soon.

*Hugs* (less so if it's been fixed by now, but at least some in any case.)


You can add Lena to the card. Oh, and could you also pm me his address? I might have a chance to send a card sometimes next week.

I can't resist saying that you have a beautiful name. :smallbiggrin:


That's true in the end... I suppose I have gotten so used to the phone that it never occurred to me. Still, I'd like a watch. Pocket preferably. Those are classy.

I've been wanting a watch for a while... I have one that strikes a nice balance between plain and shiny, but it doesn't work for some reason (could be I just don't know how to wind it :smalltongue:).

I also have another nonworking pocket-watch that says "Welcome Home, Vietnam Vet!" over an illustration of a helicopter. I don't know what exactly it means or who it's for, but I carry it around anyway because it might be significant in some way or another.


The other halves are a hippie and a Kobold, does that help?

Whacha mean I can't have three halves?

You can - one third is Hippybold, another is Nerdbold and the third is... Nerd-Hippy. I dunno, something clever-sounding. :smalltongue:

Alternatively, you could be a half-Kobold whose appearance is divided perfectly down the middle (between nerd and hippy). :roach:


Hello thread, nice to meet you. Also hello everyone. I have a little story for you.

Today i was at last able to tell my mother, i see my self not as a man but as a woman. Things when very well overall. She ask me for reasons why i think this. Seeing how i was all ready having a hard time saying the words i wanted to and trying to keep my self from crying. The reasons i gave were poorly worded on my part or just the first thing which pop into my mind. However, i am glad things when as well as they did and that i was able to tell the family member i trust the most about my feelings. My mother did seem to take the news very well.

Thanks for listening to my small tale.

*Hugs* :smallsmile:


Pronunciations and whatnot:
How is "Aislinn" pronounced? Is it "ash-lin" like Kender said?

The name is, but I mispronounced it in such a way that it kind of sounds like "ace" - after figuring it out / having her tell me that it's actually "ash-lin", I decided that "ace-lin" sounds like it was pronounced with an accent and kept it anyway. :smalltongue:


You guys pronounce the "D" in Island? Unless I'm grossly misremembering and Arachu is in Britland like you are, odds are in favor of your pronunciation not being ubiquitous.

I wish I was in Britain :smallsigh: - even in Illinois, though, different individuals tend to pronounce things very differently (even if they're from the same place). It's probably why they hate grammatical corrections so much. :roach:

I try to pronounce most everything 'correctly', but I can't be certain if I do when I'm not paying attention. :shrug:


...For the amount of complaints I hear from British, Australian, and Canadian English-Speakers about U.S. produced entertainment glutting them, I must admit, I'm kind of surprised by your reactions.

Clearly, it's the Americans that can't pronounce anything. We had to write our own dictionary just to account for the accent dissonance, after all. :smalltongue:


I personally think this directly contributes to all the kooky subgroupings over here, as kids have no grounding in part due to parents blindly reinforcing the "everyone is equal" making it so the heritage the kid could be proud of doesn't matter. Groups form, and sub groups and splinter groups, all in an effort to both belong and yet individuate.

I've lost my train of thought though, as between typing it's I've been getting ready for work... Sorry if thats disjointed or not self-supporting. I'm going for the general idea more than specifics.

You make a good point, there... There's also the conflict between "you're free" and "you should listen to what [we] say", but I'm not the most civil person when discussing that one...


Also... :smallannoyed:
My "mom" really frayed my last nerve today... After a year of ostracizing my best friend (for not being a Christian), she randomly decided to let me go to his house Friday-Sunday.

I had a great time, but I knew since she asked for their number that she was just attempting to make me act nice (that is to say, compliant) again. After coming back and relaxing for a bit, she comes over and asks me if I remember the story about her dad (my grandfather) running off with his best friend's wife.

She was laughing, and when she got to her point she said that they divorced and that she (my grandfather's ex) has "a partner - do you get where I'm going with this".

She proceeds to say how funny it is that whatshername is (presumably) a lesbian, and then how weird it is to be one at all. While calling me "Scotty". I've been asking her to just call me "Scott" for years, so this time I dropped my tone and got just vaguely rude.

She went on to read my offended silence as an "attitude" and blamed my friend for it, despite it not being any different than it normally is (like she's done since I freakin' met him).

:long string of :smallsigh:'s and :smallfurious:'s:

... 'Course, now that I've cooled off a bit it's even cooler how said friend and his mom reacted to my realization - they tripped over a lot of pronouns, but he told me I'm no different for it and she gave me an eyeliner pencil. :smallbiggrin:

It's still in my jacket, in the same pocket as my knife and sort-of-stolen lighter. :smalltongue:

[KenderWizard]

Nope:
I'm definitely putting a rainbow on this card! Unfortunately, that's as far as I've got! If I had loads of time, I'd draw us all. Maybe I will, but in kind of sketch form rather than trying to copy everyone's avatar properly. (This post is giving away that I haven't made much progress making the card yet! This is because I've decided to do a large one, to fit everyone's names on comfortably, and I don't have any large sheets of paper in my apartment right now. Going to the stationary shop tomorrow - yay! :smallsmile:) Also, I would have been totally baffled by you being "all up in [my] grammar" if I hadn't heard it from my (American) partner! :smalltongue:

On culture, would ye say there's an LGBT+ culture? Or more specific ones - say, lesbian culture? I'm aiming this at people who live in places with significant numbers of openly LGBT+ people.


Please add me as well. I miss Asta.

I will. I do too.

[bluewind95]

I'm included in the card too?

Man. I'd like to send a card myself too, but... I have no way of getting to a mail-place at the moment, and mail here is notoriously bad anyways.

[Serpentine]

Wait... What happened to Asta?! :eek:

[Arachu]

Wait... What happened to Asta?! :eek:

His depression worsened the other day (Thursday?), and he checked himself into the hospital for two weeks. :/

*Makes a reference to an annoying song and activates prototype Radar-Hug emittter*

[KenderWizard]

I'm included in the card too?

Man. I'd like to send a card myself too, but... I have no way of getting to a mail-place at the moment, and mail here is notoriously bad anyways.

I'll put you down, and if you happen to get a chance and want to send your own card, PM me!


Wait... What happened to Asta?! :eek:

He's having a bad bout of depression and he's gone to hospital. :smallfrown: He said he'd be gone for about two weeks. I'm sending a card and I offered to put people's names on so he knows we're all thinking of him!

[Serpentine]

Poor Asta :frown: Throw me on too?

[KenderWizard]

Poor Asta :frown: Throw me on too?

I will!

Everyone, if you haven't said you want on, remember to do so in the next day or two. I can't guess! I'll post a list of everyone's names before I send the card so if someone gets left out I can add them. I'm writing everyone's names down as they ask and I've almost covered the piece of paper I'm using! :smallsmile:

[Viera Champion]

I will!

Everyone, if you haven't said you want on, remember to do so in the next day or two. I can't guess! I'll post a list of everyone's names before I send the card so if someone gets left out I can add them. I'm writing everyone's names down as they ask and I've almost covered the piece of paper I'm using! :smallsmile:

Put me on!

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Well, Asta might not recognize the name since I've mostly been lurking, but put me on the card as well. Depression sucks and every little bit (and name and hug) helps.

[turkishproverb]

I will!

Everyone, if you haven't said you want on, remember to do so in the next day or two. I can't guess! I'll post a list of everyone's names before I send the card so if someone gets left out I can add them. I'm writing everyone's names down as they ask and I've almost covered the piece of paper I'm using! :smallsmile:

I'd appreciate being on it.

[Sir Dar]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and hugs. I so do love hugs. and *hugs*



I will!

Everyone, if you haven't said you want on, remember to do so in the next day or two. I can't guess! I'll post a list of everyone's names before I send the card so if someone gets left out I can add them. I'm writing everyone's names down as they ask and I've almost covered the piece of paper I'm using! :smallsmile:

You can put my name down as well. Send them my best wishes.

[Caustic Soda]

I'd like to be added to the card, if you haven't sent it yet, KenderWizard.

edit: I forgot to give you a hug, Sir Dar, I'll fix that right now *hugs*. Welcome, and congrats on having understanding parents.

[KenderWizard]

I'm glad I put up a reminder! Now I have run out of space on this piece of paper!


Put me on!


Well, Asta might not recognize the name since I've mostly been lurking, but put me on the card as well. Depression sucks and every little bit (and name and hug) helps.


I'd appreciate being on it.



You can put my name down as well. Send them my best wishes.


I'd like to be added to the card, if you haven't sent it yet, KenderWizard.


Got you all down! Also, don't worry PairO'Dice, I remember you and Asta's been around longer than I have!

[SiuiS]

Yeah, it's a pretty common thing in English. Like how so many people use "like" colloquially these days, or how often one can see "it's" as the possessive instead of "its", or slightly more rarely, "book's" (for example) as the plural instead of "books". Another one is how often "me" and "I" are mixed up, like "he's better at math than me" when it should be "...than I (am)".
My mum's an English teacher.

I am grinning somewhat because I don't do any of these. :smallbiggrin:
Though I do get weird looks for words like "akin"...



Interesting. A perceived lack of self-worth due to oversights made possible by one's position of privilege? I don't think I've experienced that myself, but I think I've seen it before.

Aye. "When everyone is special, no one will be." externally, it's a terrible lack as far as lacks go; that is, not having enough self definition is paltry compared to other problems of self definition. I suppose it is still a problem though, if one considers integrity comes from character, and havif everything handed to you creates a lack of character. Then it becomes trying to patch yourself with culture is treating the symptom not the problems.

Hm.

[Triscuitable]

Well, It's my first day at my new school (long story, explain later). I'm kind of worried how the 1.6k students will react to me though. Y'know, the Aspergian, Attention Deficit Asexual. The "Triple-A" guy. Heh. Well, any insight on going from a school with fifty-thousand-percent more students than my last would be helpful.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Well, It's my first day at my new school (long story, explain later). I'm kind of worried how the 1.6k students will react to me though. Y'know, the Aspergian, Attention Deficit Asexual. The "Triple-A" guy. Heh. Well, any insight on going from a school with fifty-thousand-percent more students than my last would be helpful.

I have plenty of experience with transitioning to new schools, though in my case the three A's that caused some friction with the student body were Army Brat, Atheist, and A Massive Nerd. :smallwink: I'd be happy to give some tips; what kind of school are you coming from, what's the new one like, and are there any particular problems you're anticipating (meeting people, different culture, etc.)?

[KenderWizard]

I think bigger schools are generally better to get on in. I mean, initially, they're way more daunting, but the more people there are, the better the chance of finding people you can make friends with!

Working on Asta's card now!

[Astrella]

Well, It's my first day at my new school (long story, explain later). I'm kind of worried how the 1.6k students will react to me though. Y'know, the Aspergian, Attention Deficit Asexual. The "Triple-A" guy. Heh. Well, any insight on going from a school with fifty-thousand-percent more students than my last would be helpful.

Good luck~

I'll use my astromancy to send meteors at whoever bugs you. :smallwink:

[noparlpf]

Nope:
I'm definitely putting a rainbow on this card! Unfortunately, that's as far as I've got! If I had loads of time, I'd draw us all. Maybe I will, but in kind of sketch form rather than trying to copy everyone's avatar properly. (This post is giving away that I haven't made much progress making the card yet! This is because I've decided to do a large one, to fit everyone's names on comfortably, and I don't have any large sheets of paper in my apartment right now. Going to the stationary shop tomorrow - yay! :smallsmile:) Also, I would have been totally baffled by you being "all up in [my] grammar" if I hadn't heard it from my (American) partner! :smalltongue:

On culture, would ye say there's an LGBT+ culture? Or more specific ones - say, lesbian culture? I'm aiming this at people who live in places with significant numbers of openly LGBT+ people.

Drawing me shouldn't be too hard. :b
"To be all up in one's [noun]" isn't used in Ireland? Huh. Well, I admit that it's a fairly nonsensical phrase. I go through phases of using silly memes or speech patterns that I find amusing. Right now it's the "all the things" meme because everyone's using it, and sometimes the "arrow in the knee" one because half my friends are videogamers.

There's definitely LGBT+ culture. Around here there are a lot of openly LGBT+ kids, and there's one group of people who are friends because they all joined the school's "Queer-Straight Alliance".
And I hear about gay/lesbian/transsexual bars or rallies, and so on. So I assume there's a culture there.
There isn't much of an asexual culture that I'm aware of.




I am grinning somewhat because I don't do any of these. :smallbiggrin:
Though I do get weird looks for words like "akin"...

Aye. "When everyone is special, no one will be." externally, it's a terrible lack as far as lacks go; that is, not having enough self definition is paltry compared to other problems of self definition. I suppose it is still a problem though, if one considers integrity comes from character, and having everything handed to you creates a lack of character. Then it becomes trying to patch yourself with culture is treating the symptom not the problems.

Hm.

Last night I got a weird look and comment for using the word "vigorously". All I said was, "Why don't you try shaking it (some juice) more vigorously?"
(I also got some weird looks and laughs when I turned my friend's hat sideways on his head and said, "Yo yo yo yo, my name is J-wizzle." Which I guess was a terrible bastardization of his name and rap. I do weird things when tired.)
I'm still tired so I don't currently have any further coherent thoughts on this privilege-culture thing. Maybe later I'll be more conscious.


Well, It's my first day at my new school (long story, explain later). I'm kind of worried how the 1.6k students will react to me though. Y'know, the Aspergian, Attention Deficit Asexual. The "Triple-A" guy. Heh. Well, any insight on going from a school with fifty-thousand-percent more students than my last would be helpful.

Well, going from ninth to tenth grade, I switched from a school of around fifty people (pre-k through twelve and faculty) to a school of over three thousand people. And I was two years younger than anyone else in my year. (If not for that other genius kid in the year below mine who coincidentally shares my name, I would have been the youngest in the whole school.) I didn't make many friends in tenth grade, but in eleventh grade I had a pretty good social life. I'd suggest striking up conversations with classmates, talking to people on the bus, chatting with people at lunch, and so on, to get to know people. With luck, from there you can develop friendships and whatnot.
And just be confident. If I'm normal, pigs can fly and Hell is a very cold place. And hardly anybody questioned my behavior, made fun of me, or whatever.
By the way, here's a low-quality scan of how I looked at thirteen; it's my eleventh grade ID card, but the picture was from tenth grade:
http://i44.tinypic.com/2rgp547.jpg

[KenderWizard]

Holy crap, Nope looked like John Lennon at 13.

Some of my friends use "all the things", and that does explain why my partner was talking about being shot in the knee yesterday... I'd've heard "up in [one's] face", but not "all up in [one's] [noun]".

[Mina Kobold]

You're adorable.

Eep! Compliments! :smalleek:

*Hides*



Well, Kobolds are typically found in geeky circles, so at least one of you is geeky or directly related to geekiness, even if the other half is just a hippie.


So if I got another half, I would be a half-hippie and a Geeky Kobold? :3

This method of fission seems interesting. Or is it a method of Mitosis? Kobosis? Pegasis?


I am getting all up in your grammar. :b
(It was tempting to spell that "yeh" and "grammah" even though I don't have that kind of New England accent.)

Now I am tempted to write my accent, but I prefer being legible. :smalltongue:


Well, It's my first day at my new school (long story, explain later). I'm kind of worried how the 1.6k students will react to me though. Y'know, the Aspergian, Attention Deficit Asexual. The "Triple-A" guy. Heh. Well, any insight on going from a school with fifty-thousand-percent more students than my last would be helpful.

You could tell people only on an individual level? Worked for me, but my school is only half as big as that. ^_^'

You should have an easy time finding nice people among so many, though. :smallsmile:



By the way, here's a low-quality scan of how I looked at thirteen; it's my eleventh grade ID card, but the picture was from tenth grade:
http://i44.tinypic.com/2rgp547.jpg

>_>
<_<

You are adorable.

*Hides more*

[Lix Lorn]

Eep! Compliments! :smalleek:

*Hides*
(wields bat menacingly)
You are muscling in on my bit!

(bat squawks in bad transylvanian accent) "Please, let me go good lady!"

[Mina Kobold]

(wields bat menacingly)
You are muscling in on my bit!

(bat squawks in bad transylvanian accent) "Please, let me go good lady!"

Is that a real Transylbat? By Grimnir, I have not seen one of those in years. [/Distracted-by-Attention-Deficit-Geekiness]

I mean, my apologies. I shall return to my bit now. m(_ _)m

Meoweep!

*Hides in laundry basket.*

[Al'izh'dheg]

Don't worry, honey, I can just copy it down from the forum. I'll probably have to do that with most people's names anyway, since I tend to identify people by avatar. Speaking of which, where's Kneenibble gone? I've lost him. :smallwink:

Thanks, Kender. :) Kneenibble's been around, but sporadically. I think he's been busy irl.


I need someone to talk to about relationships again... I think I'll actually do it over PM this time.

You can always PM me if you like hon.


Well, It's my first day at my new school (long story, explain later). I'm kind of worried how the 1.6k students will react to me though. Y'know, the Aspergian, Attention Deficit Asexual. The "Triple-A" guy. Heh. Well, any insight on going from a school with fifty-thousand-percent more students than my last would be helpful.

I always felt singled-out at school. Like I was the only freak. Unfortunately, this soured my mood whenever I went to school, and that more than anything else triggered the abuse and derision of my peers. It was like they sensed the weakness or something. Worse, when people did reach out to be friendly, my bad mood colored it in a poor light and made things worse.

None of that is really advice, per se. But I do want to know I sympathize with your situation, and promise it will be okay. Just stick with it. :)

[Heliomance]

Result of shave and haircut! Not the best pic, but a reasonable depiction of what I look like day-to-day, I guess.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/100_1058.jpg

Any ideas as to how to get rid of that damned beard shadow? My hair is really dark, so it shows no matter how closely I shave. I got attacked with makeup yesterday as well, and it showed right through the concealer.

[Triscuitable]

Result of shave and haircut! Not the best pic, but a reasonable depiction of what I look like day-to-day, I guess.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/100_1058.jpg

Any ideas as to how to get rid of that damned beard shadow? My hair is really dark, so it shows no matter how closely I shave. I got attacked with makeup yesterday as well, and it showed right through the concealer.

The trick would be an application of blush to the cheeks. Try a red shade, see how it works. If not red, try something that won't clash with your top. In addition, you might find that wax, while painful, it an effective way to remove hair follicles. In addition, you might want to consider laser hair treatment. It really can help get rid of hair in areas in which you're not fond of it's presence. Trimming the tops of your brows to thin them out would also add to the look.

Also, what is your top? It looks fantastic.

...

WHAT? I know fashion, okay?

And as for school, it went great. Turns out a few students from my old school went there, and I share a class with them, which is awesome.

[Heliomance]

The top is a random blouse I picked up in a charity shop. It's actually a touch small for me, I don't wear it that much.

I'm not sure I can stand the idea of waxing my face. As for laser, that's A) painful by all accounts, B) expensive, and C) permanent. I'm too indecisive to want to do anything permanent to my body.

Well. Maybe getting rid of my arm and leg hair. I can't imagine ever actually wanting that.

I had thought about trying to bleach it so that it's lighter and less noticeable. Would that be likely to work?

[Triscuitable]

The top is a random blouse I picked up in a charity shop. It's actually a touch small for me, I don't wear it that much.

I'm not sure I can stand the idea of waxing my face. As for laser, that's A) painful by all accounts, B) expensive, and C) permanent. I'm too indecisive to want to do anything permanent to my body.

Well. Maybe getting rid of my arm and leg hair. I can't imagine ever actually wanting that.

I had thought about trying to bleach it so that it's lighter and less noticeable. Would that be likely to work?

Bleaching it would likely make your arm white. Unless you don't tan, or don't freckle, people would notice something's up. Plus, leg and arm hair don't grow that quickly, so you can find a reliable, effective razor, and just shave them every morning.

[noparlpf]

Holy crap, Nope looked like John Lennon at 13.

Some of my friends use "all the things", and that does explain why my partner was talking about being shot in the knee yesterday... I'd've heard "up in [one's] face", but not "all up in [one's] [noun]".

I used to get that a lot. Now I tend to wear my hair in a ponytail and I usually wear a beanie or a bandana (depends on the weather), so I get it less.
"All up in [one's] [noun]" is admittedly less common than "all up in [one's] [face]". I'm just weird like that sometimes.


Eep! Compliments! :smalleek:

*Hides*

:b


So if I got another half, I would be a half-hippie and a Geeky Kobold? :3

This method of fission seems interesting. Or is it a method of Mitosis? Kobosis? Pegasis?

I should do my thesis on that. Find out if adding more personae, hobbies, labels, and so on, could yield fission.


>_>
<_<

You are adorable.

*Hides more*

I was adorable. Nowadays I'm just stunningly handsome.[/narcissism]


And as for school, it went great. Turns out a few students from my old school went there, and I share a class with them, which is awesome.

Sweet deal. Glad it turned out well!

[Heliomance]

Bleaching it would likely make your arm white. Unless you don't tan, or don't freckle, people would notice something's up. Plus, leg and arm hair don't grow that quickly, so you can find a reliable, effective razor, and just shave them every morning.

Ack, syntax fail!
I meant bleaching my beard, as I don't want to remove my ability to grow one permanently. Assuming I could afford it, I'd probably be fine with more permanent means of hair removal for my arms and legs.

[Triscuitable]

Ack, syntax fail!
I meant bleaching my beard, as I don't want to remove my ability to grow one permanently. Assuming I could afford it, I'd probably be fine with more permanent means of hair removal for my arms and legs.

You don't want to lose the ability to grow a beard? Under that assumption, you'll run into your greatest enemy: 5 o'clock shadow. An evil beast, it creeps around your face, forcing small beginnings of a new beard to begin their slave work on your face. As this occurs, you'll want to have a way to cover this handy.

As said before, a good shave in the morning, making sure you get every last hair on your face, and some blush should be enough to get the sides. As for the rest of your face, I'd have to look into that.

*Google*

And the results led to a fantastic article (http://hairremoval.about.com/od/bleaching/a/bleaching-101.htm). While the effect is very quick, in the long run, it's going to prove itself a folly. However, you may want to consider depilatory hair removal creams, which can break down hairs, and allow you to simply wipe off the hairs. It does have it's share of side effects, and the effects are very temporary (think one day to a few days), it can help.

When did I suddenly become the expert on this stuff? ...Must have something to do with me not really wanting facial hair either. I've tried this stuff. It works. Bleach does wrinkle though, so I don't advise long-term use. Off-and-on might work, though.

[Arachu]

Bleaching it would likely make your arm white. Unless you don't tan, or don't freckle, people would notice something's up. Plus, leg and arm hair don't grow that quickly, so you can find a reliable, effective razor, and just shave them every morning.

Hair/skin bleach is different from other kinds, right? It'd be convenient to use some on my face, but I'm worried about fumes...

As for shaving - it works, but watch out for ingrown hairs / razor burns / two-day stubble what gets all abrasive and whatnot. Also, the knees are kind of tricky to shave all the way. :shrug:

[Saeyan]

Hair/skin bleach is different from other kinds, right? It'd be convenient to use some on my face, but I'm worried about fumes...

YES it is different. Please don't use household bleach on your skin! It's likely to cause burns or at the very least totally dry out and irritate your skin.

[Heliomance]

You don't want to lose the ability to grow a beard? Under that assumption, you'll run into your greatest enemy: 5 o'clock shadow. An evil beast, it creeps around your face, forcing small beginnings of a new beard to begin their slave work on your face. As this occurs, you'll want to have a way to cover this handy.

As said before, a good shave in the morning, making sure you get every last hair on your face, and some blush should be enough to get the sides. As for the rest of your face, I'd have to look into that.

*Google*

And the results led to a fantastic article (http://hairremoval.about.com/od/bleaching/a/bleaching-101.htm). While the effect is very quick, in the long run, it's going to prove itself a folly. However, you may want to consider depilatory hair removal creams, which can break down hairs, and allow you to simply wipe off the hairs. It does have it's share of side effects, and the effects are very temporary (think one day to a few days), it can help.

When did I suddenly become the expert on this stuff? ...Must have something to do with me not really wanting facial hair either. I've tried this stuff. It works. Bleach does wrinkle though, so I don't advise long-term use. Off-and-on might work, though.

5 o'clock shadow is not the problem - it doesn't wait that long. As I already said, my hair is dark enough that no matter how close I shave (and I'm getting good at shaving), the parts of the hair still under my skin show through and create a shadow that is literally - not figuratively - impossible to get rid of by shaving. Also it showed through concealer when I tried it yesterday.

Blusher is probably also not a great idea as I have a natural tendency to turn bright red at the slightest provocation, so exacerbating that isn't great.

[Saeyan]

Does foundation help? (concealer + foundation that is) I figure two layers cover better than one...

Or maybe a highlighter in that area?

[Triscuitable]

Hair/skin bleach is different from other kinds, right? It'd be convenient to use some on my face, but I'm worried about fumes...

You won't have a face to speak of if you use Clorox. :smallbiggrin:

The products are cheap, and they work well. Sustained use isn't going to be good, but you should be fine if you use it every other day.

[Elfinor]

5 o'clock shadow is not the problem - it doesn't wait that long. As I already said, my hair is dark enough that no matter how close I shave (and I'm getting good at shaving), the parts of the hair still under my skin show through and create a shadow that is literally - not figuratively - impossible to get rid of by shaving. Also it showed through concealer when I tried it yesterday.

Blusher is probably also not a great idea as I have a natural tendency to turn bright red at the slightest provocation, so exacerbating that isn't great. You could try a fake tan, if your skin looks darker then it's likely the beard hairs won't show as much, if at all. I use to use a gradual one that worked out quite well, but I do have skin that's a few shades (?) darker than yours. I'm told (by a friend who has skin about the same colour as you) that most of the normal ones work well also, barring one brand I can't remember the name of.

[golentan]

Blusher is probably also not a great idea as I have a natural tendency to turn bright red at the slightest provocation, so exacerbating that isn't great.

Wait, blushing is a bad thing now?

I like the idea of seeing you flush. You're attractive already, and a little extra redness can be adorable.

[Nix Nihila]

Thanks, Kender. :) Kneenibble's been around, but sporadically. I think he's been busy irl.


I think Kender was referring to the fact that she identifies people by avatar, and Kneenibble recently changed his. But yes, he's still around, and is still writing as deliciously as ever.


Result of shave and haircut! Not the best pic, but a reasonable depiction of what I look like day-to-day, I guess.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/100_1058.jpg

Any ideas as to how to get rid of that damned beard shadow? My hair is really dark, so it shows no matter how closely I shave. I got attacked with makeup yesterday as well, and it showed right through the concealer.

You look quite lovely! :smallsmile:

If you don't want to go for a more permanent solution, you'll probably have to find a thicker foundation (I believe there are even foundations specifically designed for hiding stubble. I can't say how well they work though). I don't have links, but cosplay forums (specifically ones with decent crossplaying communities) should have some better tips on this sort of thing. Apparently there are also bleach creams you can use for your face (although that would scare me a little bit). I know I haven't given you a lot to go on, but I'll try to get some links to you later.

[KenderWizard]

Nix is right; I've lost Kneenibble because he changed his avatar so I don't notice it's him unless he says something particularly nibblicious!

Here's the list of people who asked to be included on Asta's card:
Fredaintdead
Al'izh'dheg
Astrella/Lena
noparlpf
Keveak
Nix Nihila
SiuiS
Soft Serve
supernerd
golentan
Dogmantra
Musashi
Heliomance
Triscrutable/[real name]
Kindablue
Skeppio
bluewind95
Glass Mouse
Lix Lorn
Elfinor
H Birchgrove
Lycan01
The Succubus
Serpentine
Lil Shiro
PairO'Dice Lost
turkishproverb
Sir Dar
Caustic Soda

Let me know if I've left anyone out! I'm going to finish the card today, so last chance to get added!

[Coidzor]

I think the more pertinent questions is that of how big is this thing that you have that many names already and still feel confident that they'll be big enough to be legible and have enough space for more.

[Astrella]

I think the more pertinent questions is that of how big is this thing that you have that many names already and still feel confident that they'll be big enough to be legible and have enough space for more.

Fold-out card. Ooh, or a holographic one with all our avis wishing him well!

[The Succubus]

Actually, you may have an idea there Astrella.....we could do a huge Inkscape piccie with all of our avatars waving at Asta and wishing him well.

[Lix Lorn]

Wait, blushing is a bad thing now?

I like the idea of seeing you flush. You're attractive already, and a little extra redness can be adorable.
I can second this. xD

[Lady Tialait]

Well, I'm out of ideas. Talking to anyone I know will just get looks of weirdness followed by my brother being outraged that I talked to someone about him. Advice is needed...

Before question is given, I have to explain a lot of stuff.

Firstly, I'm a straight woman, and I have a husband and a son, anyone who knows me very well knows this. So, when I tell you that my husband feels like a huge outcast when around my loving mother and father it might sound odd. You see, my mother is a invert and is very action oriented, meaning if she gets you a card for your birthday it means she loves you. If she does not she doesn't care for you, if she makes someone else get it and she just stamps her name on it it means she hates you. My dad is an extrovert with an odd sense of humor and a quirky sense of social order. If something makes him uncomfortable, he'll say something like "I don't interfere in the way you perceive your reality, please refrain from changing my perceptions." In fact that was his exact response when I told him I was getting married. He refused to acknowledge it for the first three years calling my husband my boyfriend. When I make him hold his grandson, he changed his tune that day. He also prefers 'in' jokes, and references events that happened to his great grandfather that he heard when he was a kid in common conversation. I have found I do this too when around him, and so does my brother. My mom likes to call this 'The Family Quirk' and blames it on his side of the family.

I think I've basically explained what kinda people my mom and dad are, and I've come to bring my husband into the mix. They are somewhat cold to anyone who is not in the family and I am not, bringing me to my issue. My brother, you see is gay. This isn't an issue for anyone in my family, but I'm the friendly bubbly person of the family so I seem the most accepting. My brother figured mom was fine with it when he got a b-day card with a half-nude man in it one year with my mom signing it 'love mom'. Dad for about three years after finding out gave the standard 'don't mess with my perception of reality' speech. After that time he asked my brother, jokingly, 'Do your boyfriends think the good looks run in the family?' That is when my brother knew my dad had accepted it. Me, I didn't stop being his overly huggy, always hyper, always busy, sister with back problems.

The issue you see, is that from the outside, namely his various (over the course of 6 or so years...like 3) serious relationships get to a 'meet the family' stage, and he wants them to meet us, and they always think Mom and Dad have a problem with the whole being gay thing. They also think I have a problem with it, even though I'm just naturally bubbly and hyper they think I'm cringing over them or something. My brother has lost two relationships over not wanting them to meet his family. None of this is something I feel right interfering with, we are who we are...it's just..when he gets single...he won't stop asking me to set him up with people. I'm a married housewife, my social circle includes a total of 10 people (plus internet). Obviously, not the ideal matchmaker.

I've tried telling him this, he is used to the high school me who set him up a lot. Plus, he wants to have a serious relationship.

So....two issues, a lot of personal information, see what the playgrounders can come up with. What can I tell my brother to tell his boyfriends when he decides they need to meet his family, because my idea of warning them that we are really weird didn't work.

Also, yes, I rambled, my brother decided 3 a.m. was a good time to wake me up because he just broke up, and I couldn't get back to sleep...

[Reluctance]

Tialait: Two points.

First, the bloody internet. If he wants to be confident that the guy he's flirting with is gay and available, a guy who lists himself as such is a safe bet. It'll queer the finely-honed edge that paranoia can lend to one's gaydar. I don't think that's a bad thing.

Second, he can comfortably say that the whole family is a bit much. And then proceed to introduce new love interests to one person at a time. If new guy meets you (maybe with hubby to help even things out), that should be less of a shock than the whole clan. When he does get to know that your hyperness is just hyperness, that'll now be two people he can be comfy with when the remaining family shows their idiosyncrasies.

[Lady Tialait]

On your first point....looks like I'm going to be holding his hand on the internet once again. Poor boy was always the technophobe of the family. Seriously, there isn't a single normal person in my family. Sexuality not being brought into it. I go at 2 million miles per hour, my dad is an enigma, my mom is a quiet passive aggressive, and my brother...well...he is the only person in my family with no interest in gaming, and an aversion to technology. Mark my words, I'm going to be browsing gay dating sites for him before long. Luckily we have the same taste in men.

On your second point, yeah, that is what I tell him, show him the family slowly as not to scare guys he really like off. The second time he made that mistake I told him to just tell his boyfriend we are all a bunch of homophobes who disowned him, or that he is closeted to us, or some-such to keep the guy away from us.

[H Birchgrove]

There's a new picture book for children out in the Swedish book market, in which - for the first time - the pronoun "hen" is used, which is like hir in English. From what I've read about the book, people don't know the protagonist's sex, which is why hen/hir is used.

When I first read about the book, I assumed the kid was going to be androgynous (or possibly genderfluid, bigender, or something else), but since the word "sex" rather than "gender" is used, I conclude the child is intersex.

I hope the author(s) will handle the issue with appropriate sensitivity.

Short article in Swedish (and radio interviews in Swedish in the links with the speaker symbol): http://sverigesradio.se/sida/artikel.aspx?programid=507&artikel=4949467

EDIT: Seems like Swedish is less strict on the difference between sex and gender. Sex meant in this context "social sex", which is the same as gender.

[Mutant Sheep]

Nix is right; I've lost Kneenibble because he changed his avatar so I don't notice it's him unless he says something particularly nibblicious!
Yeah, the horse pony avatar gets me really confused.


Let me know if I've left anyone out! I'm going to finish the card today, so last chance to get added!
Can I be on the card?

Actually, you may have an idea there Astrella.....we could do a huge Inkscape piccie with all of our avatars waving at Asta and wishing him well.
This sounds awesome. Except so many avvies.:smallwink:

[Ashen Lilies]

Nix is right; I've lost Kneenibble because he changed his avatar so I don't notice it's him unless he says something particularly nibblicious!

Here's the list of people who asked to be included on Asta's card:

<snippedy snip>

Let me know if I've left anyone out! I'm going to finish the card today, so last chance to get added!

I only post here sporadically, but I'd like to be included on the card too, if you haven't finished it already! :smallsmile:

[turkishproverb]

Heh. So I was suggesting a primitive "Orientation select" for an RPG I was considering making, and the response from those listening?

"Can the software do that?"

Ah...some days are good.

[golentan]

Okay, I believe I found a great quote.

"You know your husband's bisexual."

"Was."

"What?"

"He was bisexual. Now he's monogamous."

[Al'izh'dheg]

Okay, I believe I found a great quote.

"You know your husband's bisexual."

"Was."

"What?"

"He was bisexual. Now he's monogamous."

Change "husband's" to "wife's" and "he" to "She" and you have my wife. :)

[Caustic Soda]

@Golentan: Heh, that's certainly a chuckleworthy way to put it :smallamused:

[noparlpf]

Well, I'm out of ideas. Talking to anyone I know will just get looks of weirdness followed by my brother being outraged that I talked to someone about him. Advice is needed...

Before question is given, I have to explain a lot of stuff.

Firstly, I'm a straight woman, and I have a husband and a son, anyone who knows me very well knows this. So, when I tell you that my husband feels like a huge outcast when around my loving mother and father it might sound odd. You see, my mother is a invert and is very action oriented, meaning if she gets you a card for your birthday it means she loves you. If she does not she doesn't care for you, if she makes someone else get it and she just stamps her name on it it means she hates you. My dad is an extrovert with an odd sense of humor and a quirky sense of social order. If something makes him uncomfortable, he'll say something like "I don't interfere in the way you perceive your reality, please refrain from changing my perceptions." In fact that was his exact response when I told him I was getting married. He refused to acknowledge it for the first three years calling my husband my boyfriend. When I make him hold his grandson, he changed his tune that day. He also prefers 'in' jokes, and references events that happened to his great grandfather that he heard when he was a kid in common conversation. I have found I do this too when around him, and so does my brother. My mom likes to call this 'The Family Quirk' and blames it on his side of the family.

I think I've basically explained what kinda people my mom and dad are, and I've come to bring my husband into the mix. They are somewhat cold to anyone who is not in the family and I am not, bringing me to my issue. My brother, you see is gay. This isn't an issue for anyone in my family, but I'm the friendly bubbly person of the family so I seem the most accepting. My brother figured mom was fine with it when he got a b-day card with a half-nude man in it one year with my mom signing it 'love mom'. Dad for about three years after finding out gave the standard 'don't mess with my perception of reality' speech. After that time he asked my brother, jokingly, 'Do your boyfriends think the good looks run in the family?' That is when my brother knew my dad had accepted it. Me, I didn't stop being his overly huggy, always hyper, always busy, sister with back problems.

The issue you see, is that from the outside, namely his various (over the course of 6 or so years...like 3) serious relationships get to a 'meet the family' stage, and he wants them to meet us, and they always think Mom and Dad have a problem with the whole being gay thing. They also think I have a problem with it, even though I'm just naturally bubbly and hyper they think I'm cringing over them or something. My brother has lost two relationships over not wanting them to meet his family. None of this is something I feel right interfering with, we are who we are...it's just..when he gets single...he won't stop asking me to set him up with people. I'm a married housewife, my social circle includes a total of 10 people (plus internet). Obviously, not the ideal matchmaker.

I've tried telling him this, he is used to the high school me who set him up a lot. Plus, he wants to have a serious relationship.

So....two issues, a lot of personal information, see what the playgrounders can come up with. What can I tell my brother to tell his boyfriends when he decides they need to meet his family, because my idea of warning them that we are really weird didn't work.

Also, yes, I rambled, my brother decided 3 a.m. was a good time to wake me up because he just broke up, and I couldn't get back to sleep...


On your first point....looks like I'm going to be holding his hand on the internet once again. Poor boy was always the technophobe of the family. Seriously, there isn't a single normal person in my family. Sexuality not being brought into it. I go at 2 million miles per hour, my dad is an enigma, my mom is a quiet passive aggressive, and my brother...well...he is the only person in my family with no interest in gaming, and an aversion to technology. Mark my words, I'm going to be browsing gay dating sites for him before long. Luckily we have the same taste in men.

On your second point, yeah, that is what I tell him, show him the family slowly as not to scare guys he really like off. The second time he made that mistake I told him to just tell his boyfriend we are all a bunch of homophobes who disowned him, or that he is closeted to us, or some-such to keep the guy away from us.

Ah, family. Can't live with them, can't cut off relations because they pay tuition bills. I don't actually mind them that much. I just wish I had more privacy. And that they wouldn't nag me so much.
Sorry to hear about that. I feel bad for your brother. I think that meeting you first before meeting the parents might be a good idea. And remind him to warn them of the bolded bit there.
Also, I feel like visiting dating sites for him is a bit much. Maybe you should either teach him how to pick people up in real life or teach him how to use dating sites?


Okay, I believe I found a great quote.

"You know your husband's bisexual."

"Was."

"What?"

"He was bisexual. Now he's monogamous."

I giggled.

[Lady Tialait]

Okay, I believe I found a great quote.

"You know your husband's bisexual."

"Was."

"What?"

"He was bisexual. Now he's monogamous."

Heh, reminds me of my husband. He still gets a healthy dose of vitamin pron however on the subject of his 'former' bisexuality.


*snip*
Also, I feel like visiting dating sites for him is a bit much. Maybe you should either teach him how to pick people up in real life or teach him how to use dating sites?



I wouldn't be so much visiting them for him as scouting them so I don't end up searching for them without review before he gets aimed at them. It reminds me of before I was married when I forced him to come with me to a gay bar with a friend of mine. My friend was just...shall we say....anti-monogamous, so he was not right for my brother's expectations, and I ended up having to play wingman for my gay brother...I felt odd.

[Arachu]

Nix is right; I've lost Kneenibble because he changed his avatar so I don't notice it's him unless he says something particularly nibblicious!

Here's the list of people who asked to be included on Asta's card:
Fredaintdead
Al'izh'dheg
Astrella/Lena
noparlpf
Keveak
Nix Nihila
SiuiS
Soft Serve
supernerd
golentan
Dogmantra
Musashi
Heliomance
Triscrutable/[real name]
Kindablue
Skeppio
bluewind95
Glass Mouse
Lix Lorn
Elfinor
H Birchgrove
Lycan01
The Succubus
Serpentine
Lil Shiro
PairO'Dice Lost
turkishproverb
Sir Dar
Caustic Soda

Let me know if I've left anyone out! I'm going to finish the card today, so last chance to get added!

Me. :sadface:

[noparlpf]

I wouldn't be so much visiting them for him as scouting them so I don't end up searching for them without review before he gets aimed at them. It reminds me of before I was married when I forced him to come with me to a gay bar with a friend of mine. My friend was just...shall we say....anti-monogamous, so he was not right for my brother's expectations, and I ended up having to play wingman for my gay brother...I felt odd.

I would be a terrible wingman. But even more so for my younger siblings. I'd tease my brother until we got into a barfight and scared off anybody interested, and I'd intentionally scare off anybody interested in my sister. (She's straight, he might be straight.)

[Kneenibble]

Yes, while sweet Al'izh'dheg is right that I'm fairly busy and my posting habits are mostly restricted to blackguarding the Silly Message Board Games and saying altogether nothing of worth, I am still around.

I belched up a sonnet about being a pony somewhere around here...


On your first point....looks like I'm going to be holding his hand on the internet once again. Poor boy was always the technophobe of the family. Seriously, there isn't a single normal person in my family. Sexuality not being brought into it. I go at 2 million miles per hour, my dad is an enigma, my mom is a quiet passive aggressive, and my brother...well...he is the only person in my family with no interest in gaming, and an aversion to technology. Mark my words, I'm going to be browsing gay dating sites for him before long. Luckily we have the same taste in men.

On your second point, yeah, that is what I tell him, show him the family slowly as not to scare guys he really like off. The second time he made that mistake I told him to just tell his boyfriend we are all a bunch of homophobes who disowned him, or that he is closeted to us, or some-such to keep the guy away from us.

The solution to the matter is quite simple: I date your brother.

[Lady Tialait]

The solution to the matter is quite simple: I date your brother.

Kneenibble, I totally agree with this solution. I will put in the necessary paperwork immanently. I will need your blood type and three forms of produce grown with only your personality as nourishment.


Edit: Yay, gunna get him on a dating site...but I gotta basically set it up because he is always afraid he's going to break my computer. He also wants me to choose his picture for his profile. I can get it down to two, you guys help me out.

I'm leaning toward this one:

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/Tialait/lensflare-2.jpg

However, it has a nasty glare on the picture. I told him to find other pictures he refuses...camera shy *insert eyeroll here*


This is the other one:

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/Tialait/23156468135-1.jpg

It shows off the lack of wall washing skills a friend of mine has and might reflect badly on my brother.

[Kneenibble]

*straightens tie, coughs*
Your brother is hot.

Use the first one.


My blood type is O or something, and my résumé of produce manured sheerly by personality is thusly: the puffy yellow mushrooms that come up in some of my houseplants ex nihilo, particularly when I have gone staring at the moon too long (but of which I do not have a picture proof handy); pointy peppers (http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg140/Kneenibble/DSC00202.jpg) I have mustered up rootless from straw; and the jewels (http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg140/Kneenibble/Gems.jpg) that I pick out of my nose once a week.

Your move.

[Lady Tialait]

Hot? He looks just like my dad. He just doesn't have the awesome skills, and is a lot more nervous about everything. He really should have been born in the 20s so he didn't have to deal with the technological advances of the modern day.

The first one? With magical glare and all. There is a third picture, but it's perhaps worse. It also shows him sitting at freind's computer, something he would never do.

*taps paperwork then scribbles something down*

Mmmhmm, and Mr. ....nibbler is it? What are you intentions with my brother?

[noparlpf]

Kneenibble, I totally agree with this solution. I will put in the necessary paperwork immanently. I will need your blood type and three forms of produce grown with only your personality as nourishment.


Edit: Yay, gunna get him on a dating site...but I gotta basically set it up because he is always afraid he's going to break my computer. He also wants me to choose his picture for his profile. I can get it down to two, you guys help me out.

I'm leaning toward this one:

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/Tialait/lensflare-2.jpg

However, it has a nasty glare on the picture. I told him to find other pictures he refuses...camera shy *insert eyeroll here*


This is the other one:

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/Tialait/23156468135-1.jpg

It shows off the lack of wall washing skills a friend of mine has and might reflect badly on my brother.

I like the first one better.

[Viera Champion]

*straightens tie, coughs*
Your brother is hot.

Use the first one.


My blood type is O or something, and my résumé of produce manured sheerly by personality is thusly: the puffy yellow mushrooms that come up in some of my houseplants ex nihilo, particularly when I have gone staring at the moon too long (but of which I do not have a picture proof handy); pointy peppers (http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg140/Kneenibble/DSC00202.jpg) I have mustered up rootless from straw; and the jewels (http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg140/Kneenibble/Gems.jpg) that I pick out of my nose once a week.

Your move.

In agreement.

[H Birchgrove]

I like the first one better.

Agreed.

Some photoshopping would help, but it will do without it.

[Lady Tialait]

Agreed.

Some photoshopping would help, but it will do without it.

I ruin pictures with that program.

If someone knows how to use photoshop and would do me the favor of fixing the picture... I'd force my brother to thank you, ear twisting just might be involved. I'm a mean older sister.:smallamused:

[Arachu]

Kneenibble, I totally agree with this solution. I will put in the necessary paperwork immanently. I will need your blood type and three forms of produce grown with only your personality as nourishment.


Edit: Yay, gunna get him on a dating site...but I gotta basically set it up because he is always afraid he's going to break my computer. He also wants me to choose his picture for his profile. I can get it down to two, you guys help me out.

I'm leaning toward this one:

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/Tialait/lensflare-2.jpg

However, it has a nasty glare on the picture. I told him to find other pictures he refuses...camera shy *insert eyeroll here*


This is the other one:

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/Tialait/23156468135-1.jpg

It shows off the lack of wall washing skills a friend of mine has and might reflect badly on my brother.

The first one looks like a robot...
... A really cute robot...
*has internal conflict regarding facial hair* :smalltongue:

[Lady Tialait]

He wears the beard because he looks very very feminine without it. Before he grew it, I used to tease him about it and I think I gave him a complex. The joys of being the older sibling!

[Kneenibble]

Hot? He looks just like my dad. He just doesn't have the awesome skills, and is a lot more nervous about everything. He really should have been born in the 20s so he didn't have to deal with the technological advances of the modern day.

The first one? With magical glare and all. There is a third picture, but it's perhaps worse. It also shows him sitting at freind's computer, something he would never do.

*taps paperwork then scribbles something down*

Mmmhmm, and Mr. ....nibbler is it? What are you intentions with my brother?

*leans forward in chair earnestly, turning hat around in hands* "Well ma'am, with your permission of course, I mean to hug him and pet him and squeeze him and name him George."

[noparlpf]

He wears the beard because he looks very very feminine without it. Before he grew it, I used to tease him about it and I think I gave him a complex. The joys of being the older sibling!

It's fun to give younger siblings lifelong mental and emotional problems.