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View Full Version : Top 100 Funny ways to kill characters?



Gligarman2
2012-02-05, 09:40 AM
I am planning to run an "Monte Cristo" Arbitrary killing-easy resurrection game. Let's hear some top 100 funny/gory ways to kill character?

1. Gelatinous Ooze in the treasure chest.
2. Explosive Runes on the toilet paper. And the mail. And the spellbook.
3. Mimic disguised as underwear.
4. Trapdoor with a spelltrap (evan's spiked tentacles of forced intrusion)
5. Ring Gate infinite portal loop with lesser explosive runes on a piece of paper next to the portals.
6. Sphere of Annhiliation in the statue's mouth.
7. Mind Flayer Polymorphed into a chamber pot, with the polymorph set to end at the time the character sits down.
8. Easily Flammable singular structural support with false runes of evil and a glowing base.
9. Anything from the BoEF.
10. Fanmail with Explosive Runes.
11. Illusory Stone Wall.
12. Real Stone Wall.

DoctorGlock
2012-02-05, 10:20 AM
Illusory stone wall over prismatic wall
banana peels
anything involving meat grinders
a jump-able pit with a wall of force over one side and an elder black pudding at the bottom

Mastikator
2012-02-05, 10:46 AM
Shadow illusion floor over spike trap. (those that see through the illusion fall to their death)
Illusion trap that makes allies seem like monsters.
The doorknob is a sphere of annihilation.
A one-way magic portal that leads to the afterlife.

Slipperychicken
2012-02-05, 11:41 AM
~10-15ft long Pitfall with nasty things on the bottom. Silent Image of floor on the last 5-10ft of it.

Lava room, too far to be reasonably jumped. AMF halfway across room midair.

Bad guy running down hall, casts Quickened Illusory Wall + Prismatic Wall. Players succeed on Spellcraft to determine wall was illusory, they run through it, die.

Mystify
2012-02-05, 04:28 PM
That 200 ft long cooridor has gravity 90 degrees off from normal, so its really a 200ft deep pit.

The obvious pit has an antigravity feild over it, which you hit when jumping over.

Wall of force over the middle of the pit, so you hit it and fall in

Well/fountain full of clear acid

cursed shrinking full plate.

Tiki Snakes
2012-02-05, 08:59 PM
Nearly unjumpable pit, spikes at the bottom and a turn in the corridor shortly after (so that one cannot see where it goes). It is a dead end, of course.
And there is a sign saying "Dead End. Do not cross."

Add an arrow trap or something around the corner or along the far edge of the pit, to taste.

Telok
2012-02-06, 04:33 AM
Boobys (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-footed_Booby)

Start with the stats of a hawk (without talons) and the excuse that "a wizard did it" and start adding horrible powers. Then always use two of them.

"A pair of giant demon boobys swoop down and try to crush you."
"A pair of zombie boobys jump out of a bush and try to eat your brain."
"A pair of laser boobys opens fire from the trees."

Irreverent Fool
2012-02-07, 03:51 AM
Pixies with the Greater Insightful Strike maneuver.

Mastikator
2012-02-07, 06:40 AM
Came up with a few new ones.
A lever that opens a door you need to get passed, but also zaps you to death with lightning.
A visible broken trap directly in front of a similar hidden functional trap (like a open pit trap, in front of a closed one).
A prison that is inescapable but automatically opens after a week. With food and vials labeled "poison", not actually poison, tricks you into dying of dehydration.
A demon offers to play you a game of chess, if you win you get one wish, if you lose the demon gets your soul. The demon lies, it gets your soul if you play, and grants you a wish if you turn down the game.
A vampire offers to give you eternal life, just drinks your blood and kills you.
A scroll of teleportation, when used, teleports an anvil directly over your head.
The cave is the sarlac's mouth.
An intelligent dancing sword, attacks you when activated.
The sword of truth, rather than compelling you to telling the truth, kills you if you lie.
Around the corner stands a gnome with a readied loaded arbalest, he shoots, hits you in the knee, he crits, you die.

TriForce
2012-02-07, 06:51 AM
a few characters in a long gone campaign of mine once killed a dragon by imprisoning it with walls of force and then dropping his hoard on him, crushing him to death

DigoDragon
2012-02-07, 08:16 AM
Unintentionally- A dead cat preserved in a jar of formaldehyde.

It was a red herring item that was part of a dragon's hoard. A jar enchanted to be neigh-unbreakable that was preserving a dead cat. Something from an anatomy lab most likely. But curiosity got the players because the magical auras off the jar and the cat (Gentle Repose) kept them thinking there was something valuable hidden inside.

So they used this jar to trigger every trap in the dragon's dungeon on the way out, hoping one of the traps would smash the jar open. I don't remember the details, but it ended up to the point a Mage disjunction was used, the jar was finally smashed open under a giant hammer trap, the formaldehyde gas caught fire and burned support ropes to the hammer trap and caused a partial collapse of the hallway, killing two characters.

Congrats, you now have a stinky dead cat. :smallbiggrin:

TuggyNE
2012-02-07, 09:45 AM
So they used this jar to trigger every trap in the dragon's dungeon on the way out, hoping one of the traps would smash the jar open. I don't remember the details, but it ended up to the point a Mage disjunction was used, the jar was finally smashed open under a giant hammer trap, the formaldehyde gas caught fire and burned support ropes to the hammer trap and caused a partial collapse of the hallway, killing two characters.

On the upside... at least they got a bunch of traps out of the way. :smallamused: (Some might consider it a fair trade, in fact.)

Jay R
2012-02-07, 01:02 PM
I once had a dungeon in which an entire level had been created by a mad magician who didn't cut out the rock - he made it invisible and ethereal. It is effectively the same thing, except:
A. Detect Magic now reveals that the entire empty space of all areas is magic, and
B. If you cast Dispel Magic, tons of granite have just materialized all around and within you.

Okizruin
2012-02-07, 01:14 PM
I once had a dungeon in which an entire level had been created by a mad magician who didn't cut out the rock - he made it invisible and ethereal. It is effectively the same thing, except:
A. Detect Magic now reveals that the entire empty space of all areas is magic, and
B. If you cast Dispel Magic, tons of granite have just materialized all around and within you.

Sorry to nitpick, but it wouldn't work. If it's ethereal, it's no longer in the Material Plane; Dispel Magic does not extend out of the plane it's cast in.

DoctorGlock
2012-02-07, 01:20 PM
Sorry to nitpick, but it wouldn't work. If it's ethereal, it's no longer in the Material Plane; Dispel Magic does not extend out of the plane it's cast in.

abjurations effect the ethereal, dispel magic is an abjuration

Anderlith
2012-02-07, 01:25 PM
An illusioned floor that has obvious pit traps. The floor is actually a giant hole & the pit traps are the only safe walkable part.

A door that can only be opened by hitting a switch, which is hidden in the doors mantling. A tiny fae sits there hidden behind the decorative mantling & opens the door when the party is far away, but closes it when the party gets near. It will also do anything else comical you can think off. (Opening the door when the barbarian charges the door etc.)

Socratov
2012-02-07, 01:46 PM
first I'd like to give you some homework: all of the Final Destination movies, that should give you some ideas...

anyway, I'd say any death involving immovable rods should be funny, anything involving otto's irresistable dance and/or tasha's hideous laughter would be extremely comical :)

AtwasAwamps
2012-02-07, 01:51 PM
"So, you're saying the floor is made of fire?"
"Yes."
"Alright. Are the walls made of fire?"
"Yes."
"Okay." ::makes rolls and checks:: "Is the fire illusory?"
"Yes."
"I step into the room."
"You plummet downwards as you step on nothing at all. While the flames were an illusion, you feel real, honest to goodness heat as you look down into a vast pit of flames and magma. You do not need to roll, as you are able to determine before impact that these are, in fact, not an illusion at all."
"...I hate you."

Tiki Snakes
2012-02-07, 03:07 PM
Big Red button, marked "Do not Push". If pushed, the user is shot with an arrow. The arrow has a small piece of paper around the shaft.
It reads "Read the Sign". The arrow is poisoned.

Also, a big, heavy lever. When flipped, a trapdoor opens immediately under the lever. Fill the pit with whatever type of trap you prefer.

phlidwsn
2012-02-07, 03:54 PM
1. Gelatinous Ooze in the treasure chest.


Pit trap. 1 round after the trap is triggered, the ceiling opens and drops the Gelatinous Cube in the pit. There's always 10x10x10 room for jello.

white rider
2012-02-07, 05:20 PM
Players enter room. Immediately, indestructible door closes. On the table in the middle of the room is an hourglass. It runs out in 1 minute. Every time a player flips the hourglass, it deals him 1 damage. The door opens when the hourglass runs out.

Jay R
2012-02-07, 06:12 PM
Sorry to nitpick, but it wouldn't work. If it's ethereal, it's no longer in the Material Plane; Dispel Magic does not extend out of the plane it's cast in.

More accurately, it wouldn't work in a totally different game than the one it was used in. It was original D&D. The only other plane that existed was the astral plane. "Ethereal" meant you could walk through things, and not much else.

nedz
2012-02-07, 06:47 PM
A Deck of Many Things.
100 ways in one.
/thread

Anderlith
2012-02-07, 07:04 PM
A pit trap to a waiting beasty with swallow whole

Lord Raziere
2012-02-07, 09:56 PM
After you save the princess, you go up to her to kiss her in the mouth, she comes closer andů
opens her jaw and eats your head!

Kira_the_5th
2012-02-07, 10:23 PM
- Two words: Double Leprosy. Yes, it's possible, and no, it's not pretty...
- Ever seen the end of Mulan? The part where Shan-Yu gets hit in the chest at point blank range with a firework? Yeah, that, but with goblins.
- Arrows to the knee have nothing on crossbow bolts to the rear, fired from your "allies."
- Beaten down by a commoner with a chair leg...
- "As long as he doesn't start dropping us one at a time-" *hit by a lethal Scorching Ray*
- Getting sucker-punched by the Slender Man.

Man, one guy in our group dies (Or is dropped into the negatives) a lot, doesn't he... I didn't even realize until I started typing all those out...

Rasman
2012-02-07, 11:29 PM
My favorite by far is...

Whipped Cream Pit Trap.
They can't swim out and can't breathe either. Not to mention, they make a hilarious sound when they 'splat' in because they won't take fall damage from the whipped cream softening the fall. The whipped cream also makes the sides of the pit slick like a grease spell. It's an evil EVIL trap.

Socratov
2012-02-08, 01:47 AM
My favorite by far is...

Whipped Cream Pit Trap.
They can't swim out and can't breathe either. Not to mention, they make a hilarious sound when they 'splat' in because they won't take fall damage from the whipped cream softening the fall. The whipped cream also makes the sides of the pit slick like a grease spell. It's an evil EVIL trap.

oh wow... this is just... OH, WOW! [speechless] :smalleek:

Gravitron5000
2012-02-08, 09:48 AM
A pit trap to a waiting beasty with swallow whole

I think it would be funnier if the beasty had the swallow hole ability.

Jay R
2012-02-08, 03:04 PM
The ceiling is a trap, prepared to collapse on whoever is in the room. In fact, this is an easy trap to set off with a long pole, and tons of rock fill up the room harmlessly. Clever PCs.

(By the way, two levels up, the passage to get out of the dungeon has just been destroyed, when the rock supporting it fell.)

Ulysses WkAmil
2012-02-08, 07:00 PM
Making the old lady's purse that you just saved from a robber a mimic, tagged with explosive runes that then opens up an infinite portal trap under them.
When (if) they escape, slap em' with Shiggalosis

darthbobcat
2012-02-09, 03:54 AM
This may be less funny and more awesome, but I once read a story on TV tropes about a character whose whole party had been killed by their own stupidity, so he was alone against an entire orc army. He ripped through them before being beaten up by their leader. The PC went in for the attack and got a natural 1. The GM told him to roll twice on their botch tables. Two more natural 1s. The GM started laughing, until he read the table.

Two 1s on the botch table meant that both the player character and all adjacent enemies had been decapitated.

So the player succeeded through ultimate failure.

Starscream
2012-02-09, 10:23 AM
* Trap them in a room with a bottle sitting on the table. When they say a common word, this turns out to phonetically sound like "Geyser" in some language they don't know, and the bottle reveals itself to be a Decanter of Endless Water. Room starts to fill up, and they need to yell random gibberish in the hopes of stumbling across the right word to make it stop.

* They enter a hallway, and see spikes on part of the ceiling. Right below the spikes is a lever. No doubt a summoned monster or hireling will be sent to pull the lever, while the PCs watch cautiously from a distance. Pulling the lever actually activates a catapult that launches the part of the floor they are standing on toward the spikes.

* Floor is covered with pressure plates that activate deadly traps, but the party isn't heavy enough to trigger any of them, so long as they are careful not to have two people standing on the same section. Seems like a simple puzzle, they solve it and continue on their merry way. At the end, they find a treasure chest containing gems, which are disguised with illusion spells to look like normal rocks. They collect them, only to find that among the gems is a Stone of Weight, also disguised. And whoever has it is now heavy enough to trigger the traps on their own.

* Mirror of Opposition, covered by an illusion. Another variation on the classic "You don't want to disbelieve this one" trick.

* A rickety old bridge, which can be crossed only with the use of balance checks. But the bridge only exists on the ethereal plane. Fortunately, there are some boots nearby with the Ghost Touch ability, so they can walk across. While halfway across, some minor nuisance, a stirge or something, attacks. Nothing dangerous by itself, but it will still count as combat and activate the Boots of Dancing. Now the party is boogieing uncontrollably on a falling apart bridge, and if they use Remove Curse to remove the boots, they will fall through.

Cloudedguardian
2012-02-09, 12:05 PM
My favorite by far is...

Whipped Cream Pit Trap.
They can't swim out and can't breathe either. Not to mention, they make a hilarious sound when they 'splat' in because they won't take fall damage from the whipped cream softening the fall. The whipped cream also makes the sides of the pit slick like a grease spell. It's an evil EVIL trap.

Not sure what I love more, your idea, or your avatar. Hmmmm.
...
*still thinking*
...
They're both awesome!
My only sadistic idea for a trap is simple, how about you meet up with a NPC (or volunteer PC) and do some Cupcake baking with the other players!
Oh, what do you mean that isn't sadistic?

Rasman
2012-02-09, 07:13 PM
Monkey Swarm Pits are good too, you hurt from the fall and the monkey's disarm you and begin poo flinging and swarm rape, the poo flinging also makes the side of the pit slick like a grease spell. Did I mention the monkeys are also wearing butler uniforms and little hats?

Ornithologist
2012-02-09, 09:14 PM
I would always go with what happened to a char of mine.

He was a paper elemental...

Took a fireball to the face. It then crit for damage.:smalleek:

The rest of the party had to use his ashes to form a protective circle to keep it from a TPK. 3 rounds later...:smallsmile:

curse you bonus points for taking disadvantages!

On a Fantasy side, I had a character in a game I ran get blasted point blank with a fireball trap, he crit failed, and had his shield melt from the blast and cover him in molten metal. He didn't die true, but he was physically and emotionally scarred for the rest of the game. More so since most of the baddies had fire magic anyway...

Wiwaxia
2012-02-10, 07:35 AM
Crushed glass in their milk! :smallbiggrin:
Bonus points for describing how it feels!


Why yes, I am a horrible person. :smallamused:

Alabenson
2012-02-10, 02:16 PM
Not sure what I love more, your idea, or your avatar. Hmmmm.
...
*still thinking*
...
They're both awesome!
My only sadistic idea for a trap is simple, how about you meet up with a NPC (or volunteer PC) and do some Cupcake baking with the other players!
Oh, what do you mean that isn't sadistic?

Depends on the cupcakes, really. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/Cupcakes)

RedWarrior0
2012-02-10, 11:49 PM
Iron Body + Rust Monsters

If your party is familiar with Tomb of Horrors but they haven't actually run it as a group, do something that starts like it but
The options before the statue (the one that normally has a sphere of annihilation) are no-save-just-dies, and the statue doesn't have anything in it.

Stallion
2012-02-11, 12:15 AM
Reverse Gravity traps. Customize to flavor. Let hilarity ensue.

Leewei
2012-02-11, 12:57 AM
You enter a 10' x 10' room. A lone orc falls on you. Take 1d6 damage. A chest full of gold coins falls on you both, killing the orc and pinning you. Take 4d6 damage. A gelatinous cube then falls on top of that. Take 3d6 damage, plus 1d6 acid damage. Its fall triggers a maximized fireball trap for another 54 fire damage, staggering the cube. Then a lone stirge comes buzzing around the corner, looking for a drink ...

Antonok
2012-02-11, 01:49 AM
Enter a room with a large pit that you have to swing over with enough vines for the entire party to swing over at the same time. One of the vines turns out to be an Assassin Vine.

Exploding Squirrel Army. :smallbiggrin:

Swapping out the PC's drink with Soveriegn Glue.

Symbol of Death or Insanity on a restaurant menu/notice board/etc.

TuggyNE
2012-02-11, 02:11 AM
Enter a room with a large pit that you have to swing over with enough vines for the entire party to swing over at the same time. One of the vines turns out to be an Assassin Vine.

This right here is so ingeniously cruel, so Gygaxian in its brutal cunning, that I felt I had to call it out. I'm... not sure whether that's good or bad? :smalltongue:

Sith_Happens
2012-02-11, 05:24 AM
The chick the bard just picked up in the tavern? Turns out to be a succubus. Of course, from the character's perspective this is probably one of the better ways to die.:smallwink:

Doorhandle
2012-02-11, 05:55 AM
*bears with levels in rouge that let them sneak attack you while you sleep.