World War N

[pendell]

So I'm reading in the paper that a certain middle eastern country has more than 3000 female ninjas (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2097087/Irans-female-ninja-assassins-3-000-women-training-defend-Muslim-state.html). Or kunoichi, if you prefer.

A couple of weeks ago we discussed on the roleplaying the future of war. We talked about drone aircraft, space travel, particle beams.

But maybe we're all wrong. Maybe the next war will be fought with ninjas, and more closely resemble a wuxia flick than it will Gallipolli. If it is fought with female ninjas, I must say I wholeheartedly support this plan.

You've heard of World War Z, right? Call this one .. World War N.

It gives me an idea for an action movie ... we all know how strict TSA is on letting things like box cutters onto airplanes. So a well-known terrorist group trains airline hijackers in unarmed combat -- no need for weapons to smuggle on when the weapons are your hands and fists ,right? They try to take over the plane in a truly dramatic display of martial arts.

Unfortunately for them, Jackie Chan and Chuck Norris happen to be on the flight ...

.. the script sort of writes itself, doesn't it?

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

[Giggling Ghast]

I think it's unlikely a ninja war will ever be fought, as any substantial force of ninjas will automatically be defeated when challenged by a single skilled opponent.

[Grinner]

I think it's unlikely a ninja war will ever be fought, as any substantial force of ninjas will automatically be defeated when challenged by a single skilled opponent.

Always a problem with fielding armies of ninjas. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ConservationOfNinjutsu)

[arguskos]

Yeah, the Inverse Ninja Law (http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/17p70/) pretty well sinks this, sad as that might be. The stand-up fellow before me (whose name causes words to vanish, you know the guy :smalltongue:) hit this potential nail on the head.

[pendell]

Yeah, the Inverse Ninja Law (http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/17p70/) pretty well sinks this, sad as that might be. The stand-up fellow before me (whose name causes words to vanish, you know the guy :smalltongue:) hit this potential nail on the head.

The logical outcome is that each side sends out exactly ONE Ninja to do the fighting, in order to maximize ninjutsu, and they duke it out Mortal Kombat-style in an arena :) So WWIII essentially turns into "Street Fighter", with every country contributing one combatant to a tournament until there's only one left standing.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

[arguskos]

The logical outcome is that each side sends out exactly ONE Ninja to do the fighting, in order to maximize ninjutsu, and they duke it out Mortal Kombat-style in an arena :) So WWIII essentially turns into "Street Fighter", with every country contributing one combatant to a tournament until there's only one left standing.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.
If we add cyborgs, multi-armed monsters, martial artists, and lightning gods, we can have Mortal Kombat in its entirety. I'm a fan.

[Mewtarthio]

The logical outcome is that each side sends out exactly ONE Ninja to do the fighting, in order to maximize ninjutsu, and they duke it out Mortal Kombat-style in an arena :) So WWIII essentially turns into "Street Fighter", with every country contributing one combatant to a tournament until there's only one left standing.

No, the proper way to field an army of ninjas is to first send out your weakest ninja to engage the enemy ninja in a one-on-one duel. Then, as (s)he lays dying, (s)he manages to cough out, "This is not over! My bretheren shall avenge me!", and your next-weakest ninja steps out of the shadows...

[The Glyphstone]

If we add cyborgs, multi-armed monsters, martial artists, and lightning gods, we can have Mortal Kombat in its entirety. I'm a fan.

Does the guy at #6 on this Cracked list count as a lightning god?
http://www.cracked.com/article_19661_6-real-people-with-mind-blowing-mutant-superpowers.html

[Traab]

No, the proper way to field an army of ninjas is to first send out your weakest ninja to engage the enemy ninja in a one-on-one duel. Then, as (s)he lays dying, (s)he manages to cough out, "This is not over! My bretheren shall avenge me!", and your next-weakest ninja steps out of the shadows...

In reality, noone would do this, as that is how the bad guys fight the hero who is destined to win. Noone is that anti genre savvy as to volunteer to be named the bad guy who loses. No, instead each ninja will be accompanied by a wise sage, a crass thuggish warrior, a barmaid, a princess (possibly in disguise) and someone to be comedy relief. That way they can claim the hero party power up.

[The Durvin]

If we add cyborgs, multi-armed monsters, martial artists, and lightning gods, we can have Mortal Kombat in its entirety. I'm a fan.

Several different companies are developing powered armor for the US army--including one company, eerily named Cyberdyne and working on a suit called HAL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy7ipDAyXtI&feature=related), as well as a smaller one by Lockheed Martin called HULC, which is subtler, un-tethered, and increases running speed as well as strength. And then there's the walking truck--basically a cross between a pick-up and an AT-AT--and those freaking robot dogs they're coming out with. This doesn't sound like Mortal Kombat; this is more like any of those military strategy games, with the US as the military-industrial power and Iran as the hyper-agile ninja-magic nation.