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View Full Version : Worst Joke Ever [3.5 new Spells](PEACH)



Gandariel
2012-02-29, 12:37 PM
Laughter is often unconsidered as a form of power. Some have tried unleashing his power with spells like Tasha's Incontrollable Laughter, and some have searched deep for other, darker uses.
Until the worst jokes were found, and their power was manifest to everyone.

Freezing Joke
Enchantment [Mind-Affecting] [Language-Dependant]
Level: Sor/Wiz 3, Brd 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: a 30-foot emanation centered on you.
Target: see text.
Duration: Istantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex partial, see text
SR: No

When the earth around you freezes, you know it was bad

By casting this spell, the land around you becomes cold for a moment, inflictcing 2d6 cold damage to every creature within 30 feet of you (Reflex halves).
Also, every enemy who shares a language with you and has an Int score of 3 or higher has to succeed on a Will save or be Sickened for one minute/caster level.
Note: If you have prepared the Ventriloquism spell (or it is one of your spells known) you can expend that spell (or one 1st level slot) to have the effect originate from anywhere in Close Range (as per the area of Ventriloquism)



Creeping Cold Wordplay
Enchantment [Mind-Affecting] [Language-Dependant]
Level: Sor/Wiz 6, Brd 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: a 60-foot emanation centered on you.
Target: see text.
Duration: Istantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex partial, see text
SR: No

Something which can't be made fun of is to be feared

As the earth around you hears the Joke everything around you freezes, inflictcing 5d6 cold damage to every creature within 60 feet of you (Reflex halves).
Also, every enemy who shares a language with you and has an Int score of 3 or higher has to succeed on a Will save or be stunned for 1d6 rounds.
Note: If you have prepared the Ventriloquism spell (or it is one of your spells known) you can expend that spell (or one 1st level slot) to have the effect originate from anywhere in Close Range (as per the area of Ventriloquism)



The Worst Joke Ever
Enchantment [Mind-Affecting] [Language-Dependant]
Level: Sor/Wiz 9
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: a 100-foot emanation centered on you.
Target: see text.
Duration: Istantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex partial, see text
SR: No

A joke so bad the whole cosmos freezes

Through countless years of study and selection The One Joke was found, the one which would defeat all enemies, everyone who mocked the power of laughter.
As the land around you freezes, every creature in a 100-foot radius is inflicted 20d6 cold damage (Reflex halves).
Also, every enemy who shares a language with you and has an Int score of 3 or higher has to succeed on a Will save or become insane (as the Insanity spell).
Note: If you have prepared the Ventriloquism spell (or it is one of your spells known) you can expend that spell (or one 1st level slot) to have the effect originate from anywhere in Close Range (as per the area of Ventriloquism)


So yeah, it's the first time i do anything, dont't be too harsh on me =)
It just came to mind and it looked cool..
EDIT: The Jokes are now a set of three; I'm kinda afraid the last version is too powerful for a bard spell...

Jodah
2012-02-29, 01:16 PM
Conversely we have the funniest joke ever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM).

I was glad to see that this spell has verbal and somatic components (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0).

Gandariel
2012-02-29, 01:20 PM
Of course, the somatic action was implied. :P

On a more serious thought, should i take it out?

Jodah
2012-02-29, 02:43 PM
I do like the idea. My critiques: I wish that there was an entire progression (bad joke, worse joke, worst joke ever). I also think that it is thematically appropriate to let the bard have the worst joke ever instead of just wiz/sorc, though balance may be a bit off then. That is a more serious take on the most humorous of spells.

Gandariel
2012-02-29, 05:40 PM
It could be:

-Level 3(wiz) / 2(brd)
2d6 at 30 foot radius, Will save or be Sickened for 1 minute

-Level 6(wiz) / 4(brd)
5d6 at 60-foot radius, Will save or be Paralyzed for 1d6 rounds

-Level 8(Wiz) / 6 (brd)
10 or 15d6 at 100-foot radius, Will save or Insanity as the spell

Gandariel
2012-03-01, 07:26 AM
Alright, so it's done! =)
What do you guys think?

I wanted the last one to be a Bard spell too, but it's kinda too strong...

Suteinu
2012-03-01, 05:46 PM
"The door is a jar! The door is a jar!"
--VERY old transmuters' joke, followed by the sounds of one transmuter laughing hysterically and the stares of a pun-weary party who wish they had left said spellcaster in the tomb with the vampyric kender. ;)