The Dark and Very Evil Curse of Lord Grimdank the Dark and Very Evil

[Jzadek]

It was a dark and stormy night. Perfect, thought Lord Grimdank, that just made everything complete. His huge spiked armour silhouetted in lightning, he cut an ominous figure as he marched forward from the forest. As he strode towards the walls of Valiance, his dark armies emerged from the forest. Flanked by trolls, orcs, ghouls, wraiths, and a plethora of other monsters he marched slowly toward the greatest fortress of Cannmar.To war. Finally.

Meanwhile, in Cannmar city, seven adventurers sat, stood or hovered in a tavern, around a table. It was bustling, as the night was just beginning, and various other adventuring parties, similarly mixed, were all settling down for a drink. To your left, a gnome illusionist was dancing on the table, stared at boredly by a bearded druid, idly twirling his finger in a drink. To the right, a rogue was palming gold coins from her companions. All in all, it was a typical day at the inn.
Just then, a door burst open, and the sounds of blustering winds and rain blew through the bar, as a mysterious robed figure strode into the room. There was a sudden silence, even some intakes of breath. The tavern was crowded, and everyone waited to see if the mysterious stranger would give them the inevitable mission.
The robed figure took a seat in front of you, his face obscured by shadow.
"I have a mission for you," he said in an enigmatic baritone,"That comes from the king himself. Valiance brings word that it has just been attacked, and we need someone to investigate."

[jojolagger]

"Tell us all that you know." Says Dallun, as he scans the man for magic.
Detect magic, identify via artificer's Monocle if he talks for long enough, targeting the most powerful items first.

[betafin]

A wall hulking mass leaning back on two chairs against a wall snores very pointedly. It seems to be heavily asleep, but the snore ends in an upwards trailing snore that almost sounds like 'gold?' Its ears twitch.

[razorback]

Bleary eyed from drinking toe-to-toe with the goliath of a Goliath, he hears the mans words.
Valiance ishn't tha ging... its a town, silly.

With that, he breaks out into a little meddley...


Valiance, oh Valiance,
Once a lady went for a dalliance.

The strong the knight,
She met him there...
betwixt the sheet,
Without a care.

Valiance, oh Valiance,
don't disdain the relevance...

and he mumbles off into incoherence.

[Tortoise262]

Shinra, Lantern Archon of Pelor

Shinra pops in, seemingly from nowhere, and scolds the friar: "Friar Earl! That's inappropriate! This is a family establishment!"

[razorback]

Blearily, Friar Earl looked around, finally (somewhat) focusing on Shinra and says But, I was jush gettin' to the parts where they mkae babish... you know, famerly

[ben-zayb]

I wonder if someone would recognize me in this town. Catharina thought while scraping off dried mud off her boots. It had been days since she first woke up, and until now she still has no idea when and where she currently is. She headed for this local tavern, hoping someone would be kind enough to help her.

As she was about to speak to the patron in front of he, a loud crash echoed as the main door bursts open. A second later she found herself in front of this stranger, who started speaking to her and a few others about some mission.

She was confused as to how to react, as she has no idea who that stranger is nor what he is talking about.

"So, uhmm, mister, what is your name again? I'm Catharina, and that is all I know."

[razorback]

I'm Friar Earl of Sammich... oh, him? I don't know him, but he needs my help attacking the investigators or something. <burb> His name is Thrar Stone... uhm... Delisandwich... no, thas not it... Deliciousgraph... Delinquentbanth uh... Thrar. His name is Thrar. I'm pretty sure that's it. And he'sh da biggest dwarf I've never seen. Cebause no one but a dwarf can drink like that.
Looking at her with a bleary eye, he continued
I don't think his name looking at the mysterious robed figure is Catharina. That sounds like a girls name.
Looking at Shinra, Does he look like a girl to you? That girl over there said his name is Catharina... covering his mouth a bit, he whispered about as loudly as a dragons' roar I thinks she may be drunk or crazy... or both!

[razorback]

He boody, yous know, keeping me waitin' is keeping the king waitin'... and time is money... so, you should buy me something to drink.

[Tortoise262]

Shinra, Lantern Archon Cleric

"There is certainly some drunkenness afoot!"

[razorback]

Lishen here, Mr. Glowyentity, my foosht is perfecly solber!

[betafin]

Will: [roll0]

The goliath's ears twitch again but he shows no sign of waking up. The alcohol may have hit him harder than it did the Friar.

[Jzadek]

The man showed no signs of magic, and while the party talked, began to walk off.
"Meet me at Albion's palace tomorrow at dawn," he said, "We can talk then. I daren't say anything now; Grimdank has agents everywhere..."
As he leaves, he eyes to dark-robed figures suspiciously as they listen in on the conversation. One of the ghostly figures is wearing a fake moustache and pair of glasses.

[razorback]

Donn worry, we'll be there!. With that, the good friar sits back in his stool, which collapses as he passes out on the floor.

[Tortoise262]

"Dawn? That's my favorite time of day!" Shinra both literally and figuratively beams.

[razorback]

The good Friar wakes up the next morning, looking around the pub that lies a bit in shambles.
Walking over to the tap, he pulls himself a draught, gargles, and drinks it.
Washing his face a bit from a grungy bar towel, he nibbles at the bowl of 'bits' that sits on the bar and looks around at his companions.

Don't we have something to do today?

[jojolagger]

"Yes," Responds Dallun, "We are to meet the informant at Albion's Place. I'll send a messenger in case we end up late." And with that, a small, Golem like creature jumps out of his hat, and runs off out off the bar.

[razorback]

Seeing the gollum jump down, Friar Earl shakes his head and then peers into his mug.

Shrugging his shoulders, he finishes off his drink, fills his mug and 'water'skins, and prepares to leave with the rest of the group.

[betafin]

Break object check (str+dungeon crasher+effective size): [roll0]
The roll is for formalities, it's safe to assume it succeeded.

Edit: apparently it doesn't work if you preview the post. Stupid roller... It was a +19 anyway though.


The goliath shifts slightly in his sleep as the people around him get up, unconsciously tensing as the chairs almost pass their balance point. Unable to take any more strain, the chairs collapse, and he falls. His giant axe on his back levers against the floor, causing him to tilt and roll sideways, through another table, narrowly avoiding crushing a gnome in the process, then into and through the bar.

Waking up to the bartender's angry shouts, he blearily looks around him. On hearing a line that sounds -to his dazed ears- like "you'll have to pay for this" he jumps to his feet, all signs of drunkenness gone, eyes the exit, gives an award-winning smile to the tavern at large, and dives after the first departing group he sees like they're social cover from blame.

[ben-zayb]

Catharina woke up just before dawn arrived. Fortunately, the barkeep was kind enough to let her sleep on one of the chairs, using the accompanying table as headrest. She found it strange, though, that the barkeep keeps on making some weird smile while looking at her from time to time.

Seeing the opportunity to find someone who can help her better, she decided to join the drunk people (and some sober ones, if she remembered correctly) who were approached last night by the robed stranger. As soon as the last of them leaves the bar, Catharina will 'sneakily' follow them.