Bad Movie Builds

[Suteinu]

Here goes...

A few of my no-account RPG friends and I had a huge lop (laugh over pizzas) the other evening when we tried to build characters from some of the best and worst Ancient World flics. Of particular note were characters from:

Conan the Barbarian/ Destroyer (Arnie versions)(Goodnight, Darligan, wherever you are...)
Fire and Ice (Frazetta & Bakshi; Nekron is the most difficult)
The Beast Master (trained animals, Animal Companion, Wild Cohort, etc.)
Dragonslayer (Wizard's Apprentice w/ levels of Commoner, says I!)

So it naturally got me to wond'rin' how you lot out there at the virtual pizza table would build main and supporting characters from these and related big-screen popcorn targets.

Aaaaaaaaaand.... GO!:smallbiggrin:

[Grinner]

I had been thinking about this very thing today.

I concluded that I'd refrain from using D&D, except for very specific sorts of films such as Lord of the Rings. Instead, I reasoned, I would be able to describe a character more effectively with GURPS.

[panaikhan]

Not a "fantasy" movie, but still...

Glitch (Now known affectionately at the table as Mecha-G)
Warforged, with Adamantine Plating, and Jaws of Death.
Elemental grafts (Fire) for heat vision and breath weapon
Weapon Familiar: metal tail (slam)

Actual class build in signature.

Working towards the following:
Flight
shoulder-mounted crossbows (based upon warforged armbow component)

[Suteinu]

Arnie's Conan from "the Barbarian" strikes me as more legit than "the Destroyer." "The Barbarian" I'd build as a Barbarian w/ Cunning Hunter (house rule: pick a different Combat Path than the Ranged one), maybe dip into Rogue or Ranger a bit, Favoured Enemy: Humans (efficient if you consider the setting). He was considerably independant, but worked well with a group (Subotai: Scout or Ranger, Valeria: Fighter or Warblade).

"The Destroyer" I would demote to straight Fighter, maybe w/ some kind of Specialty (Drgn 310). He was greatly simple- er, simplified, and more dependant on the group.

[Saintheart]

Be a man. Apply this exercise to the weirdness that is the party in Krull (complete with MARRIAGE FIRE MAGIC) and I'll be impressed. :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

[lorddrake]

When I saw the name of the thread I instantly remembered the Mario Bros. live action movie and thought about a jumplomancer... :smallamused:

[Suteinu]

Be a man. Apply this exercise to the weirdness that is the party in Krull (complete with MARRIAGE FIRE MAGIC) and I'll be impressed. :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

I have a confession to make.

I am 36 years old and... ...

I'VE NEVER SEEN KRULL! Yes, I know, they're going to pull my `Gamer/SciFi/Fantasy card, and I'm sorry, But I've just never had occasion to watch it. I'm SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sniff*:smallfrown:


So, how would YOU build those characters, Sainty?:smallwink:

[Zanfire]

shoulder-mounted crossbows (based upon warforged armbow component)

I take it you're looking for something different than two Arbalesters (MoE, 153) then?

[Azoth]

I could see Dar the beastmaster as a druid that gave up wind shape and armorm/weapon prof for the monk AC,favored enemy, track, and swift tracker. Say Druid 5/beastmaster10/ranger5 if you wanted a level 20 build. Fisrt and suped up animal companion Rhu the tiger, then his next one would be the hawk, and his last two and weakest would be kodou and podou.

[SowZ]

http://cache.io9.com/assets/images/8/2009/01/yortrailer.flv.jpg

I've argued to friends that he is a barbarian/monk, before.

[panaikhan]

I take it you're looking for something different than two Arbalesters (MoE, 153) then?

If you can turn them into warforged components, sure.
They don't need to be intelligent, or particularly mobile - just to fire where I want them to and never run out of ammunition.
Oh, and not be removeable unless i'm disabled.

[Nizaris]

Tony Stark's a Human Artificer with a heavily enchanted suit of clockwork armor (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/cw/20070212a). Give it permanent Fly with various energy attacks and you're golden.

[SowZ]

Tony Stark's a Human Artificer with a heavily enchanted suit of clockwork armor (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/cw/20070212a). Give it permanent Fly with various energy attacks and you're golden.

Actually you're a gold-titanium alloy but whatever.

[Kuulvheysoon]

Malcolm Reynolds seems like a feat rogue/Survivor, methinks.

Not too sure about the feat rogue, but definitely Survivor.

Actually, the entire crew of Serenity would be pretty fun to stat out (likely in E6, with the exception of River Tam).

You might have a legitimate reason to haul out the BoEF (for Anara....)

[Talya]

Malcolm Reynolds seems like a feat rogue/Survivor, methinks.

Not too sure about the feat rogue, but definitely Survivor.

Actually, the entire crew of Serenity would be pretty fun to stat out (likely in E6, with the exception of River Tam).

You might have a legitimate reason to haul out the BoEF (for Anara....)

I really hope you're not sticking Serenity into the "Bad movies" category.

I mean, if we wanted to make up characters from bad movies, we could always tackle things like "Twilight", but that would require me to think more about that series than I care to do.

[Kuulvheysoon]

I really hope you're not sticking Serenity into the "Bad movies" category.

I mean, if we wanted to make up characters from bad movies, we could always tackle things like "Twilight", but that would require me to think more about that series than I care to do.


Well, it certainly wasn't as good as the series. And they did kill of Wash and Sheppard Book..

TBH, though, I didn't notice the 'bad' tag here, and then someone mentioned Iron Man, and it devolved from there.

[Suteinu]

[QUOTE
TBH, though, I didn't notice the 'bad' tag here, and then someone mentioned Iron Man, and it devolved from there.[/QUOTE]

Hmm ... maybe I should have said "Movies You Hate to Love, or Love to Hate?"

One of which just sprang to mind: HIGHLANDER!

One of the last printed issues of Dragon introduced the Endless, a potential Immortal-type of character template. With that as a starting point, I'd make Connor ... hmm, not a Barbarian; he had pleanty of passion, but not what I'd call Rage. Maybe Fighter (1 or 2, for his origional life), Swordsage (from his training w/ Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, the Egyptian Spaniard), then Rogue or some such for his sneaking throughout history lifestyle.


Oh, and to skip back a bit, we never really figured out Thulsa Doom. I say about Marshal (6, w/ Leadership Cheese), and the rest either Enchanter, Totemist, or Sith Lord:smallwink:.

[hex0]

Bad movies? Where is the Johnny from The Room build!? :smallbiggrin:

[HunterOfJello]

A build for the movie Equilibrium could be cool. Something involving Touchsense in order to make ranged attacks.

[Nizaris]

Bad movies? Where is the Johnny from The Room build!? :smallbiggrin:

Johnny, level 1 commoner with exotic weapon proficiency (football).

As for Connor McCloud, maybe a level of Barbarian for his initial training before Juan, Warblade or Swordsage afterwards. I'll agree with Suteinu on this. Not really sure on the rogue bit though. Yeah he's good at stealing identities but no signs of the other rogue hallmarks (SA or Trapfinding, though he may have uncanny dodge.) I'll say he has Wedded to History (Dragon 354) with the Hand of Prophesy and a homebrewed Pawn in the Great Game Feat (automatically making his saving throw unless decapitated with a called shot or vorpral weapon.)

No clue on the Equilibrium build though, a ton of permanent divination spells to represent a cleric's training?

As for the Iron Man reference from earlier, I read the syntax of the title wrong as "Bad, Movie Builds" not "Bad Movie, Builds."

[Suteinu]

Going back to "...the Destroyer," one of my compatriots figured Malek the Thief for a commoner w/ some Expert levels.

I nearly pizza'ed him.

Just because Malek is a superstitious coward doesn't make him useless. I'd build him as Thief- er, Rogue all the way (you younger cats probably won't get that; THAC0, baby!). Weapon Finesse, TWF, Quickdraw, and boy, could he use the heck out of Sneak Attack when he put his mind to it.

`Course, he should also have low Cha and lower Wis, high Bluff and no ranks in Sense Motive. He could fool himself into believing his own bravado ("They need me!"). Not to say that his bravado was always empty. "What are we, some charitable institution? We're THIEVES!" And a dedicated thief he was! Better than that wishy-washy Aladin that a certain animated mouse backed.

Good vocabulary, too, for a street rat...

[navar100]

Two-person party consisting of a vampire and werewolf pining over an NPC girl who's actually the DMPC.

[Zonugal]

Two-person party consisting of a half-vampire psion and werewolf pining over an NPC girl who's actually the DMPC.

Fixed that for you.

[Suteinu]

What about Legend? It has been ages since I've seen that one, but I clearly remember that Cruise irritated me even then. The "bad guys," on the other hand, rocked, especially Tim "The Lord of Darkness" Curry!-