Newborn in the Party

[Diplomancy]

I have an 8th level halfling rogue who does a lot of tumbling. The problem is she just had a baby and needs to keep it with her and alive. I'm thinking having her refashion a bag of holding into a nursery. Any other bright ideas about babywearing in melee?

[Kuulvheysoon]

I may be horrible for suggesting this, but....

Bag of Holding/Portable Hole with either a Bottle of Air or a filled with water and have Water Breathing cast on the kid.

[MightyIgoo]

First of all, cheers on having a game-baby! I've only encountered one other player-character who's done this, and it led to an artificer-built chicken-legged baby-walker.

The bag of holding sounds about right-- nothing outside, other than a direct attack or a GM who's too free with magical fire, can hurt what's inside the bag. Keep in mind there's no air or light in a bag of holding, so you'll need to provide both for the little 'un. A bottle of air could provide air, but the baby would have to breathe directly from it, or you'd have to make an airtight bubble with the bottle attached-- the bottle won't create air fast enough to create a breathable pocket of air. But how to create something airtight that can hold a baby but still fit through the bag of holding's opening?

You might consider hiring a nanny to live in the bag of holding with the baby, to keep the baby's mind off the endless void that surrounds it in the bag. Hirelings are fairly cheap at level 8. Might want to pay extra for the odd working conditions.

[Unusual Muse]

Well, it's clearly time to take parental obligations more seriously, put aside the roguish ways, and dip into wizard for Familiar Pocket (SpC)! Maybe you could even talk your DM into letting you take your baby as your familiar when you take your first wizard level... it would certainly add even more incentive to keep your familiar alive. :smallsmile:

[godryk]

Yeah, I don't know too much about what you can do with the available spells, but you really want to work towards a cute extra-dimensional baby room with a resident nanny, maybe a couple so that they can do shifts. I simply find a lot of awesomeness in the idea of having someone carrying a bag with a pink room inside, full of stuffed animals and an old but tender nany knitting on a rocking chair. And all of this while the mother is fighting some demons in some infernal pit.

[Unusual Muse]

Yeah, I don't know too much about what you can do with the available spells, but you really want to work towards a cute extra-dimensional baby room with a resident nanny, maybe a couple so that they can do shifts. I simply find a lot of awesomeness in the idea of having someone carrying a bag with a pink room inside, full of stuffed animals and an old but tender nany knitting on a rocking chair. And all of this while the mother is fighting some demons in some infernal pit.

I like that... you could take Leadership and have your cohort be a nanny wizard (anyone wanna stat out Mary Poppins?) who can cast Familiar Pocket; if they get an intelligent familiar who can babysit, even better!

[Suteinu]

[QUOTE=godryk;13054584]... cute extra-dimensional baby room with a resident nanny, maybe a couple so that they can do shifts. I simply find a lot of awesomeness in the idea of having someone carrying a bag with a pink room inside, full of stuffed animals and an old but tender nany knitting on a rocking chair. QUOTE]

First of all, congradulations!

Second, do you know who th efather is?

Third, is it a boy or a girl? I need to know what color of plush weapons to get th elittle darlin'.

[Toy Killer]

Ever consider a rod of security? that way, not only can you keep your baby in a safe location, you can visit at the end of each day. And you can even go into artic, magma filled lands of sulfur without endangering the baby.

for a lower level option, a Papoose on the wizard or other back line player? I mean, I don't know if i would trust my newborn in the front line with mommy...

[limejuicepowder]

As functional as a bag of holding might be, what a morally awful idea. Besides the obvious repugnance of leaving a baby in a completely dark (and weightless?) pseudo-space for hours on end, what if the party wipes? Or the bag is stolen? I highly doubt the demons of the nine hells are going to care about raising a baby (though I smell plot line right there).

This isn't any better, but what about an invisible tenser's floating disk w/ a ring of invisibility? Bonus points if you convince superstitious peons that their house is haunted by an angry infant.

[Cyrano]

Drop the baby in a plane with accelerated time in relation to the Material. Once an appropriate amount of time has elapsed, Leadership the now-grown baby.

Practicality and role-playing pathos all in one.

[deuxhero]

Too bad you are a Halfling an not a Dwarf...

[happyturtle]

Might I suggest foster parents? :smalltongue:

[Diplomancy]

[QUOTE=godryk;13054584]... cute extra-dimensional baby room with a resident nanny, maybe a couple so that they can do shifts. I simply find a lot of awesomeness in the idea of having someone carrying a bag with a pink room inside, full of stuffed animals and an old but tender nany knitting on a rocking chair. QUOTE]

First of all, congradulations!

Second, do you know who th efather is?

Third, is it a boy or a girl? I need to know what color of plush weapons to get th elittle darlin'.

The father is the head of a crime family who will stop at nothing to hunt down the baby.

The baby boy hasn't shown any color preferences yet.

[Roguenewb]

Umm...disintegrate the baby. When you obtain a high-enough level (17/18), have the baby true ressurectioned, and planeshifted to the super-fast time plane your wizard has created and staffed with constructs and programed amnesiacs (who love, worship and forever serve the wizard). Have the baby grow up for 100 years of perfect upbringing designed to max out the qualities of strong personality, good character and skill. Let your Wizard 3/Druid 5/Mystic Theurge 10/Arcane Heirophant 10 epic kid (who's been rasied his entire life learning how his entire purpose is to serve and aid you) warp in with the army of constructs he's (or shes) built and the legions of outsiders he's (she's) greater-planar binding/programmed amnesiad and let him (or her) defeat all problems who ever have for the rest of your adventuring life.

That's how one min-maxes giving birth.

[Alaris]

My friend would kill me for not suggesting this, so I must.

Has she considered taking a homebrewed feat? "Off-Hand Baby-Fighting?" Prince Charming did so well with that feat in Once Upon a Time.

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26700000/Prince-Charming-and-his-daughter-Emma-once-upon-a-time-26746451-500-279.jpg

[Namfuak]

1. Hire Jackie Chan as a sitter
2. Put him in a factory full of machinery with the baby
3. Make sure he don't want no trabble

There, baby's safe.

Alternatively, has no one considered fast forwarding time 16 years after your character settles in a village for awhile so you can raise the baby and your allies can go do other stuff that is tedious to play though but ultimately very helpful for their character? When your kid is 16, you should be able to bring him along as a cohort.

[Particle_Man]

If the party is approx. 8th level a lot of the suggestions are too high level (disintegrate, plane shift, etc.).

A level appropriate solution is to have an 8th level druid reincarnate the baby after someone kills it (painlessly). The baby comes back in a young adult body. Problem solved in 10 minutes and 1000 gp of material components, by a 7th level character.

Oh wait, do you mean you want an ethical solution? :smallsmile:

Don't take the baby on adventures; that is dangerous. Give the baby to foster parents (as suggested earlier); that is safer.

[Zombulian]

wait... Does DnD actually have mechanics for having children? This interests me greatly.

[deuxhero]

The problem is the baby has no levels and loses 2 points of con.

[Malimar]

wait... Does DnD actually have mechanics for having children? This interests me greatly.

There are some... in the third-party Book of Erotic Fantasy.

[demigodus]

The father is the head of a crime family who will stop at nothing to hunt down the baby.

The baby boy hasn't shown any color preferences yet.

Hunt down as in kill the baby, or that he wants to find his son and become the kid's father?

If it is case one, your first action as a parent should be to make the party put a temporary halt on their current adventure so you can go kill the daddy and anyone who might want revenge. Otherwise the foster parent plan wouldn't really work.

Other then that, does your party have an artificer? If they can make constructs capable of making magical items, they should be able to make constructs capable of changing dipers, and handing out a milk bottle as needed. Have said nanny-construct(s) stay at the back of the party with whatever squishes.

That said, you need to have some contingency for a Total Party Wipe, or the party being captured. I mean, unless you have a high enough diplomacy to convince your foes to spare (and possibly raise) your child, even if they are going to kill you.

[Killer Angel]

Baby's phisical stats are awful, but the charisma should be sky high. Max his (her?) diplomacy skills and enjoy the ogre making funny faces at the infant. :smallcool:

[Bronk]

Can you afford or procure some ioun stones? It seems to me that with a 'clear spindle' (sustains without food or water) and an 'iridescent spindle' (sustains without air) you could keep the baby (and something for company) in there indefinitely core, and they could double as a mobile that never needs winding. I like the idea of taking a level in wizard or sorcerer too, so you could get a construct familiar that could hang out in there full time to keep an eye on things...

[Krotchrot]

Long stretch here, get a wizard to make or have one you know that has a Genesis Plane that speeds up time relative to the Material Plane. Get a couple of npcs like a Nurse and teachers. Make sure the Genesis is like 1 round is 1 year of time or something. When they come out your child will be older and more powerful. I like the Leadership suggestion with your child. Makes roleplay interesting.

Another suggestion would be to find some Druid or Cleric friends that wouldn't mind taking care of the child for a while. Of course, they could want to train the child in their ways, but again, get Leadership, heck ya I'll take a Cleric or Druid with me!

[Namfuak]

The problem is the baby has no levels and loses 2 points of con.

Last Breath instead of reincarnate.

[Yawgmoth]

Get a bunch of other babies, wear them as plate mail. The likelihood of him hitting the right one is so much lower!

[Person_Man]

Your character is a terrible person for putting a baby into that kind of danger. The baby has it's own hit points and Saving Throws, which it uses even if it's strapped to you. A single low level area of effect spell will kill your character's baby. And even if you're keeping it in a bag of holding or other extra-dimensional space, what happens if you die and your treasure gets taken? Or if you take the baby out and get ambushed? Or if your Bag of Holding gets Sundered?

The baby needs foster parents, or your character should take maternity leave, or your character should retire, or you should encase it in Quintessence and store it somewhere safe until you're ready to be a parent (and god parents who know its location in case you get killed).

[Bahamut Omega]

Consider having her pay the party wizard to research a spell like Mordenkaiden's Magic Nursery. Work with the group to make a spell that pretty much mimics many of the effects of Mordenkaiden's Private Sanctum, but has some neat little illusions and conjurated play things for the baby. Those outside the effect can't hear in and so forth.

Such a situation would create cause to alter how adventuring would work. Likely the group will remain stationary and guard the baby while mom scouts ahead for where the party's target is. At such time, pack it up, recast the Nursery and maybe hide it behind a stone wall made with Stone Shape, go kill the bad guys and get back in time for the 2 AM feeding.

There's no two ways about it, if the party intends to bring the baby with them and wants to be responsible about it (but not so responsible as to leave the baby with someone else) then they'll need to be spending a lot of their resources to ensure its safety. As the DM, I would strongly consider giving out roleplaying XP depending on how the players play their characters to handle such a situation.

[willpell]

Wouldn't Bag of Holding be a really awful idea given the "if the bag is cut or punctured from inside or out, the contents are lost forever in the Astral Plane" clause? Although that would give the kid a heck of a backstory if it managed to land on a rock and survive somehow (IIRC people don't age in the Astral Plane, but the Githyanki and Buommin races suggest there are exceptions to that rule, if it exists at all).

[happyturtle]

GM: "Everyone make your move silently checks."

Baby: "I GOT A FOUR!!!!"

[Cieyrin]

Wouldn't Bag of Holding be a really awful idea given the "if the bag is cut or punctured from inside or out, the contents are lost forever in the Astral Plane" clause? Although that would give the kid a heck of a backstory if it managed to land on a rock and survive somehow (IIRC people don't age in the Astral Plane, but the Githyanki and Buommin races suggest there are exceptions to that rule, if it exists at all).

Yeah...how about a Portable Hole? It's not quite so amorphous, is far less likely to get sundered (you fold it up and put it in your pocket. If this is 3.5, put it under your armor, since you can't Sunder armor) and a Necklace of Adaption on the kid and whoever's with him, which is cheaper than Ioun Stones. You can decorate the room, light it up and it's right there when you need to get at it when it's safe.

Alternatively, if we draw on fantasy story lore, you should take the kid to someplace safe and far away from the current conflict with a church or family you trust to take care of him till he's of age to know what Mommy does for a living. Bam, backup character in the making or starting place for next game if set in the same world. I wouldn't minmax a cohort out of him, as that's just asking for the DM to BBEG him to tear down all Mommy and her friends hold dear, especially since you aren't around to raise him, which may cause resentment towards you.

[Slipperychicken]

Hoard Gullet (Dragon Magic). Put the baby back in your belly, for safe keeping :smalltongue:


Get a Wizard to Genesis a *really* fast-flowing time plane, raise the kid there, and hope he doesn't try to run away from your awful parenting, or rebel from the adventurer lifestyle and become a humble carpenter.


Take your parental responsibilities seriously and don't take it with you.


When it dies from your negligence, sell it to some necromancer. Those guys *love* slaymates.

[SimonMoon6]

Here's the obvious problem that I see:

Baby is in the party. Party is hit with a fireball. Baby dies.

The only ways around that, as far as I can see, involve putting the baby in another dimension (or non-dimensional space :rolleyes:) or otherwise not having the baby in the combat at all (at home with a nanny). Now, I suppose, if the DM were to allow you to treat the baby as an object rather than a creature, it could gain the same immunity to damage that all attended objects have. But if not... well, how about "Flesh to Stone" followed by Shrink Item?

Then, when safe, undo those spells.

[demigodus]

Here's the obvious problem that I see:

Baby is in the party. Party is hit with a fireball. Baby dies.

The only ways around that, as far as I can see, involve putting the baby in another dimension (or non-dimensional space :rolleyes:) or otherwise not having the baby in the combat at all (at home with a nanny). Now, I suppose, if the DM were to allow you to treat the baby as an object rather than a creature, it could gain the same immunity to damage that all attended objects have. But if not... well, how about "Flesh to Stone" followed by Shrink Item?

Then, when safe, undo those spells.

You know, when turning a baby into a statue can be argued as the humane solution, working to fix the situation, rather then its symptoms, starts to sound like a good idea

[Unusual Muse]

And even if you're keeping it in a bag of holding or other extra-dimensional space, what happens if you die and your treasure gets taken?

That could actually be a cool plot thread for a DM to drop on a party: In the loot of their vanquished foes they discover an extra-dimensional space with a living infant in it... depending on the morality of the party, of course!

[Deepbluediver]

Ok, I need to ask the obvious question; WHY do you need to keep the baby close at hand all the time? Given the kind of lives adventurours lead, this seems wildly irresponsible at best.

There are different things that I might suggest if this situation is more like "I'm an over-protective mommy who doesn't want to let my kid out of my sight" versus "this infant is the chosen one, destined to turn back the tide of darkness and every evil creature in existence is gonna be hunting for it's blood".

Edit: Sorry, I just found your other post, so it's more like the second scenario.

Depending on what resources the crime boss has available and what level you are, I still think the best bet would be to try and hide the child somewhere safe. If you really need to distract the crime-lord then maybe work up a fake-baby (a doll with a few illusions on it) and make a big show of carrying it around with you; still safer, IMO, then attempting to actually fight with the baby in tow. If you absolutely must take it into combat, at least consider leaving it back with the wizard or some one else who can focus on defense and stays out of melee.

[Bronk]

How about these possibilities...

If you just wanted the baby out of the way for now, you could also cast 'imprisonment' on it in a secret location (although I like the flesh to stone and shrink item idea as well).

Or, you could make the baby your cohort now, rather than later. Slap an intelligence and/or a wisdom booster on the tyke along with some extra protection and give him or her a wand. At first, you could carry it around in a shoulder carrier, and during every battle it could try to snipe your enemies... in any event, as an active participant it would quickly start to catch up to the halfling thief's level. You could level the baby in what ever you wanted, and before long he or she would be very well prepared to defend itself against it's crime lord father. Who would expect a baby assassin or a baby sorcerer with a familiar smarter and wiser than he/she is? At that point the reincarnation idea from earlier in the thread would be less hazardous as well.

Or, depending on how much you liked your current character, you could pull that trick of aging and training the kid in a pocket dimension with accelerated time... and have that be your main character and make your halfling the cohort.

[cZak]

I can kind of appreciate the tongue-in-cheek responses of the posts... mostly

But really?
Along with the posts for requests on how to RP alcoholism & drug addiction, you want to RP being a parent of a newborn child?

In what society is the experience of the physical & psychologically excruciating pain (detox) or the reduction of self worth in the pursuit of that never again achieved state of euphoria considered entertaining?
Before you embark on 'playing' one of these roles in an attempt at 'fun', please get some real world experience in their actual effects on not only the inflicted but on their closest friends & relatives. I've seen it & experienced it, and it would never be something I would make light of or find entertaining.

As for RP'n the responsibility of child rearing, take some time and research the past experience of child labor (pre-1930's) and current conditions of the closest thing we have to a medieval society; Africa, Middle Eastern and other less developed worlds. Then consider the false narrative you are creating in that 'child rearing' is only about how to keep the 'li'l bugger' from getting smacked with a fireball.

[Suteinu]

[QUOTE=Suteinu;13054649]

The father is the head of a crime family who will stop at nothing to hunt down the baby.

The baby boy hasn't shown any color preferences yet.

As to the father, you may have to make a sacrifice. Hide the baby in a monastery or some such. A good idea might be to leave the child in the care of someone the mother doesn't particularly like but respects, a sort of "last place he'd ever look" plan. (This also sets-up a spare PC about 16 yrs down the line!)

Oh, and I decided to buy the little darlin' a plush displacer beast of security/ blinking/ general orb of protection and non-detection. It is purple. Enjoy!:smallbiggrin:

[JonRG]

As to the father, you may have to make a sacrifice. Hide the baby in a monastery or some such. A good idea might be to leave the child in the care of someone the mother doesn't particularly like but respects, a sort of "last place he'd ever look" plan. (This also sets-up a spare PC about 16 yrs down the line!)

Good idea. I'm sure Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru would love to take him in. :smallamused:

Seriously, leaving the baby behind is your best option. For all his malice, the crime boss at least wants his son alive. The same cannot be said for the orcs, goblins, kobolds, ogres and dragons the party will go up against. If he's kidnapped, then the party simply has to go rescue him, a much easier and less fraught task than the alternatives. (Lost on the planes, death, being pickpocketed in tiny statue form, etc).

Oh, and I got the tyke an orange stuffed Eyeball (http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Eyeball). There's some magic woven into it, so uh... adult supervision highly recommended. :smallsmile:

[Diplomancy]

A little context:
My character is on the run from a sprawling criminal organization, has no one she can trust, and is trying to flee the region to start a new life. The rest of the party is far from home and their quest is similarly travel oriented. They are trying to get back home, so most of the settings will be urban, wilderness, sailing and seaports (not the fiery pits of hell.) My character is a professional thief, but casting her lot with the party in hopes that it will be more effective than pickpocketing her way across the world one purse at a time.

Metagame note: I agree, the morality is suspect. Part of the challenge for me is coming up with a good reason for the mother to decide to keep the baby with her and also adventure. (Although there are any number of situations where people do this in real life, so I don't think it's that unrealistic.) Why am I invested in her keeping the baby with her? I have a real baby at our sessions who needs a lot of attention, and it's a way to incorporate the random chaos that is a baby.

It will also raise the stakes in a huge way for the character and the rest of the party which will hopefully make for fun role-playing. I expect a lot of running away, and pausing between encounters to nurse and comfort. But I'm hoping for a good strategy for the actual combat itself, since the character will be doing a lot of dagger work. I also expect the archer will form a strong bond with the baby since he tends to hang back and shoot into the melee.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, and for those of you who are appalled, well, I agree! It's an appalling situation! But this halfling mother has very few options!

[Diplomancy]

I can kind of appreciate the tongue-in-cheek responses of the posts... mostly

But really?
Along with the posts for requests on how to RP alcoholism & drug addiction, you want to RP being a parent of a newborn child?

In what society is the experience of the physical & psychologically excruciating pain (detox) or the reduction of self worth in the pursuit of that never again achieved state of euphoria considered entertaining?
Before you embark on 'playing' one of these roles in an attempt at 'fun', please get some real world experience in their actual effects on not only the inflicted but on their closest friends & relatives. I've seen it & experienced it, and it would never be something I would make light of or find entertaining.

As for RP'n the responsibility of child rearing, take some time and research the past experience of child labor (pre-1930's) and current conditions of the closest thing we have to a medieval society; Africa, Middle Eastern and other less developed worlds. Then consider the false narrative you are creating in that 'child rearing' is only about how to keep the 'li'l bugger' from getting smacked with a fireball.

Interesting points. I agree with you about not making light of addiction, but I do think it's appropriate to role play it if you do it seriously. (Incidentally, I don't know what posts you are referring to, and they definitely didn't come from me.) I have another character who I developed after reading, "On Killing, The psychological cost of learning to kill in war and society". He is modelled on what actual humans do, which is generally to avoid directly killing at all costs. He is greatly troubled by his actions and has bouts of PTSD. I'm not making "fun" of PTSD or human behavior, but I enjoy playing the role, in the way an actor or writer might enjoy getting into the role of a shellshocked soldier (or an alcoholic for that matter). Maybe that's my angle on RPGs in general, What happens when you put real people with real characteristics and real psychology into these crazy adventure scenarios?

But that was a sidetrack. My character knows how to nurse, hold a baby, change a diaper, put the baby to sleep, comfort it, read it stories, play with it, steal for it, etc. (Yes I plan to role play all that.) But she IS trying to figure out "how to keep it from getting smacked with a fireball", because that's one part of raising a baby she doesn't know how to do. So hopefully that fleshes out the potentially "false narrative of child rearing" into a truer one. Though I'm not sure I understand your point about child labor, so I'm probably missing something.

[Particle_Man]

Well you would need to go stealth mode a lot and avoid combat. Invest in an item that gives you Silence in case the baby cries at the wrong moment.

[Rubik]

Baby's phisical stats are awful, but the charisma should be sky high absolutely awful. As in, should-be-negative-but-stats-don't-go-that-low awful.Fixed that for you. Babies are horrible, annoying, smelly screaming crap-machines that vomit everywhere. Nothing 'sky high' about it.


Your character is a terrible person for putting a baby into that kind of danger. The baby has it's own hit points and Saving Throws, which it uses even if it's strapped to you. A single low level area of effect spell will kill your character's baby. And even if you're keeping it in a bag of holding or other extra-dimensional space, what happens if you die and your treasure gets taken? Or if you take the baby out and get ambushed? Or if your Bag of Holding gets Sundered? I agree with this completely. DO NOT TAKE A BABY ADVENTURING WITH YOU.

Unless, of course, it's a baby tarrasque. Then it's okay.


The baby needs foster parents, or your character should take maternity leave, or your character should retire, or you should encase it in Quintessence and store it somewhere safe until you're ready to be a parent (and god parents who know its location in case you get killed).You can't encase a baby directly in quintessence, as it will die to the 1 hp of damage each dose of quintessence will deal. You can always put it in a container covered in quintessence, but this seems a little... I dunno. Bad? For reasons I can't quite vocalize.

[lord pringle]

PAO it into an adult. Congrats, your baby is now a first level adventurer. You could even find some way to make him a crazy melee beast if you wanted.

[Diplomancy]

Maybe I should frame it differently:

How would you keep a baby safe while smuggling it out of a dungeon or war zone. The goal is to get it out of danger, not into danger...

But danger IS the context/setting...

[Rubik]

Maybe I should frame it differently:

How would you keep a baby safe while smuggling it out of a dungeon or war zone. The goal is to get it out of danger, not into danger...

But danger IS the context/setting...Your best bet would be to PAO it into something both innocuous and difficult to damage. Something with a high hardness that is nonetheless not worth stealing, but would be something you would be expected to keep on you, like a culturally-encouraged lead steel sheet.

[Toy Killer]

I still push for the rod of security.

You may have to fudge the 'reappear where you entered' bit, but i don't see it too game breaking to have a rod that you can carry a new-born + nanny in relative safety while you explore dungeons and kick down doors. If you can't afford it, steal one. If one isn't around to steal, have your DM work with you one on one.

You brought in a classic trope in new color, and very reasonably so, I might add. the situation calls for you to carry a child abound and keep it safe in unsafe scenarios, something most parties aren't quite equipped for. This should be a major part of the story, in my honest opinion, so not talking out a reasonable option with him is almost silly. I mean, I could have a game where my clothes are all stolen in the middle of the night, but if the DM throws out that their are laws against nudity in 'The City' and I'm thrown in jail without my lock picks and the party has no means to get me out, we've dug ourselves into a corner and may need the DM to spot us a solid to keep the story going.

so my suggestions are as follows:

The simple fix: Rod of Security
A DM Fiat-ed Rod that holds it's own space, can keep 200 people alive for 1 day or 1 person alive for 200 days. they appear outside of the rod wherever it is, but no double natural healing or free food (if you absolutely must keep the item balanced). You can press the button to take your baby out in down time, keep it on hand for emergency situations where you have to drop baby off at the last second. Plus you can keep the party involved in 'acquiring' this primarily role playing magic item, or just find it as loot if there is no time for a quick trip to the magi's lair to steal it. eases the head ache off of both player and DM of rarely encountered/thought of rules reguarding a tiny whiney fussy babe in combat.


The Complex fix: Homebrew baby safe combat.
'say, how did the baby survive the poison gas trap?' 'if the baby's in a papoose, what happens if she got shot from behind?... cause she just did...'
These are reasonable sorts of questions that will come up, either the baby is a critical threat in combat or unnaturally able to survive some silly ridiculous scenarios most level 1 PCs would have issues with. while the tension of keeping baby safe in combat is thrilling, Skirmish after skirmish later, it's going to poke huge plot holes in the game with a little bit of Fridge Logic.
Workable? yes. Fun? Could be. depends on where you want to go with baby on Sword and Board.

Just can't help but envision adventurers complaining mid spells about whose turn it is to hold the baby.


And for his first birthday, I got him a Baby's First Tome of Clear Thought. It's fun and Educational!

[elonin]

Babies don't make move silently checks. They make attract monster checks. I'm surprised that this thread got this far before anyone pointed out that a baby might not be the best thing for a rogue to carry around. On the other hand Samurai Jack managed pretty well tumbling and fighting with a wee one in tow.

[Rhatahema]

Body pouch from Serpent Kingdoms would be a great feat if the halfling where a scaled one. Kangaroo-rogue! On a slightly more serious note, a level of the Devoted Defender PrC from Sword & Fist will help, though area of effect spells and effects are still the biggest issue.

[Morph Bark]

Wouldn't Bag of Holding be a really awful idea given the "if the bag is cut or punctured from inside or out, the contents are lost forever in the Astral Plane" clause? Although that would give the kid a heck of a backstory if it managed to land on a rock and survive somehow (IIRC people don't age in the Astral Plane, but the Githyanki and Buommin races suggest there are exceptions to that rule, if it exists at all).

Wait... if a pregnant woman (of, say, 34) would go to the Astral Plane and stay there for a few decades (say 57 years) and then would go back to the Material Plane... would she suddenly turn to ashes while her baby grows into an old man nigh-instantly?

[mattie_p]

In a long ago 2nd edition game, we had a house rule that portable holes had unlimited air (and for all intents and purposes, unlimited capacity). Any player who couldn't make the session was said to be "in the hole." It was an FR game, chartered from Cormyr, and we were "The Party of the Hole." Fortunately, no-one was gross and went there. Anyway, Nanny in the hole would have been totally appropriate in our adventure - nursing during breaks and at night, plenty of company, gruel Create food and water makes a healthy meal, give the nurse Prestidigitation and it is tasty, which in FR, everyone has some kind of casting it seems. And adventurers can surely pay for a Wiz/Sorc 1 Nanny on a daily basis.

[Jack_Simth]

I have an 8th level halfling rogue who does a lot of tumbling. The problem is she just had a baby and needs to keep it with her and alive. I'm thinking having her refashion a bag of holding into a nursery. Any other bright ideas about babywearing in melee?
Start with a Portable Hole, Necklace of Adaptation, and a Ring of Sustenance.

Enchant the Ring of Sustenance as an Intelligent Magic Item, making sure it has the Major Image power (also make sure it's the same alignment as the baby!).

The ring can use Major Image once a day... duration concentration, and as a construct, it can concentrate forever. The interior of the Portable Hole is very entertaining (for a baby). Food, water, and air are all covered. Different plane, so area effects don't reach the little one. The space is not, strictly speaking, dependant on the existence of the portable hole, so nothing that happens to you will doom the little one.

[Vizzerdrix]

I might be a little late to this, but all you need is an intelligent servant that will keep the kid out of the line of fire and safe? Beget Bogun might work, if you're okay with the 5% task failure.

Ooooh! I have a better idea. Use halaster's Fetch (waterdeep: City of Splendors. Sort of like permanent summon spells, with a catch) and book of Exalted Deeds to perma-summon a guardinal. You'll need a good UMD check and some diplomacy, but most of the guardinals would be able to handle such a task.

[Killer Angel]

Fixed that for you. Babies are horrible, annoying, smelly screaming crap-machines that vomit everywhere. Nothing 'sky high' about it.


Mine was a reference to this baby bodysuit (http://www.cafepress.com/+level_1_human_infant_bodysuit,169797728) (and/or similar ones)... :smallamused:

[Wavelab]

Get a bunch of other babies, wear them as plate mail. The likelihood of him hitting the right one is so much lower!

Yeah this might be on the previous page but I'm sigging it :smalltongue:

All the options have been pretty much covered, except:
Find a really powerful lich and fuse his phylactery with the baby. Now the Lich will be forced to protect the baby. Alternatively get a good lich to avoid him killing the baby or ripping his soul out.

Or you could get the baby a ring of UMD +X and get him horseshoes of flame(Savage Species page 57). Have him use UMD to emulate race and then 3/day for 7 hours each(21 hours for the math impaired) he has a fly speed of 90 ft.(good), his hoof attacks deal +1d4 fire damage, +2 Dex, +10 Int, +6 Cha and his hooves set combustible materials alight. So basically you have an intelligent baby who can fly around and step on the enemy's hair to set it on fire.

If you want to teach the baby how to use UMD get some ranks in handle animal and consider it a trick you taught him.

[TheTick]

My friend's campaign involved rescuing a baby from the clutches of the evil mother. In this case, the PC (a Monk) carried the baby in a sling, and could still fight with his hands and feet.

[Raimun]

Tell you the truth, I don't really like this idea.

First of all, I can't imagine a responsible parent bringing an infant to an adventure/dungeon/whatever. Those kind of situations would be deadly business to a normal adult, let alone a baby. If it's of any indication, I think Mr. Welch isn't allowed to do something like this. :smallamused:

Second, and this is a metagame reason, I don't think it would be interesting for that long. The bits with the baby would take time both in and out of combat. It might perhaps work, if the baby was a grand future hero and the party had to protect it from something that is targeting the baby spesifically... but just perhaps. It might be just that I lack a baby fever.

I still think the baby should be put on a bus. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus)

[happyturtle]

Maybe I should frame it differently:

How would you keep a baby safe while smuggling it out of a dungeon or war zone. The goal is to get it out of danger, not into danger...

But danger IS the context/setting...

Devote one party member to 'protect the baby' duty. That's their job. Whether by casting protective spells on the baby, fleeing the area of effect of bad stuff with the baby, or taking blows meant for the baby, that's ALL they do during combat. They don't use up actions or spells or items or limited use abilities on anything unrelated to baby guarding duty.

[Musco]

I love that a bunch of people are suggesting getting sitters and tutors for the baby and speeding up time for him for 16 years in a demiplane, but no one shows the least bit of concern for those tutors and sitters suddenly aging 16 years... Awesome.

OTOH, foster home might be the better solution, but that just BEGS for DM abuse, having everyone slaughtered and the baby missing. I think the baby is best kept close... until you wipe out the entire organization your husband belongs to, and "old-school familicide" his ass, as in "kill everyone that could take his place in harrassing your baby". And THEN foster home, or retirement.

[Cieyrin]

OTOH, foster home might be the better solution, but that just BEGS for DM abuse, having everyone slaughtered and the baby missing.

I think we have different definitions of DM abuse, as that baby is just a plot hook in physical form that many adventurers won't typically come across. If the penalties for creating such a plot hook outweighs the potential boons of having such, then don't pursue said hook, as you'll only find misery and unfun there. If you see it for the RP and goal-oriented experience rewards, it is a goldmine to be mined for its narrative worth and not just for the mother but for her fellow friends and adventurers, as now they have a goal beyond kill, loot, repeat, they have an important NPC that they may put their life on the lines for and character growth to experience from exploring relationship with the baby and between each other. No matter what's done about the baby, there is narrative room for a DM to outmaneuver the players, so embrace it for what is worth. Go watch Willow and see first hand how adventuring with a baby can be both epic AND rewarding.

[JonRG]

I love that a bunch of people are suggesting getting sitters and tutors for the baby and speeding up time for him for 16 years in a demiplane, but no one shows the least bit of concern for those tutors and sitters suddenly aging 16 years... Awesome.

*lightbulb**dusts off elan telepath*

My demi-plane babysitting/tutoring service is now open for business. :smallbiggrin:

[Musco]

I think we have different definitions of DM abuse, as that baby is just a plot hook in physical form that many adventurers won't typically come across. If the penalties for creating such a plot hook outweighs the potential boons of having such, then don't pursue said hook, as you'll only find misery and unfun there. If you see it for the RP and goal-oriented experience rewards, it is a goldmine to be mined for its narrative worth and not just for the mother but for her fellow friends and adventurers, as now they have a goal beyond kill, loot, repeat, they have an important NPC that they may put their life on the lines for and character growth to experience from exploring relationship with the baby and between each other. No matter what's done about the baby, there is narrative room for a DM to outmaneuver the players, so embrace it for what is worth. Go watch Willow and see first hand how adventuring with a baby can be both epic AND rewarding.


First of all, for the roleplaying aspect, it is basically "no mother in the world would ever subject a baby to adventuring" - and any mother which would, well, there are actually legal actions intended for parents that think like this and could strip her of her baby IRL, so, you see how this is actually a bad idea, rp-wise. Sure, if forced upon them for a time only, then it's cool (see below).

As for the DM abuse I mentioned, let me explain.

I think the idea itself is awesome, and having to struggle with it (like, if the baby was born DURING an adventure, or the group has to get it to safety somewhere, and such) is cool, but once you leave it in a foster home, I'd set up all kinds of monitoring and spells, so if anything happened I could insta-pop there or get there really really fast, and this is where I say DM abuse might come in. Having to get there fast and guard the foster home - along with the civilians living there and in the area around - and having to cope with the aftermath of a bloody battle afterwards? Good. Having the DM tell you "oh, yeah, too bad, you get there and everyone is already dead, and the baby is missing", and then not being able to locate it in any way until he comes back as an evil overlord because the BAD guys accelerated time for his growth? Bad.

There is the in-between part of having to rescue the baby that COULD be good, but then again, that'd be more fun following scenario one, if you actually failed to protect it.

[Cieyrin]

First of all, for the roleplaying aspect, it is basically "no mother in the world would ever subject a baby to adventuring" - and any mother which would, well, there are actually legal actions intended for parents that think like this and could strip her of her baby IRL, so, you see how this is actually a bad idea, rp-wise. Sure, if forced upon them for a time only, then it's cool (see below).

I believe the OP clarified to say it was the second on the second page of the thread. I don't believe the character to being running about with the child the rest of her career, just in this instance it's a matter of not having a choice, for the child isn't safe in the current area. So, the only responsible thing to do is to escape with it till they can reach a safe place to look after the tyke so they can strike back against the forces in pursuit.


As for the DM abuse I mentioned, let me explain.

I think the idea itself is awesome, and having to struggle with it (like, if the baby was born DURING an adventure, or the group has to get it to safety somewhere, and such) is cool, but once you leave it in a foster home, I'd set up all kinds of monitoring and spells, so if anything happened I could insta-pop there or get there really really fast, and this is where I say DM abuse might come in. Having to get there fast and guard the foster home - along with the civilians living there and in the area around - and having to cope with the aftermath of a bloody battle afterwards? Good. Having the DM tell you "oh, yeah, too bad, you get there and everyone is already dead, and the baby is missing", and then not being able to locate it in any way until he comes back as an evil overlord because the BAD guys accelerated time for his growth? Bad.

There is the in-between part of having to rescue the baby that COULD be good, but then again, that'd be more fun following scenario one, if you actually failed to protect it.

Why are we expecting the DM to be an immature prick about this? Some DMs may be but there are DMs that aren't all out to get the party at every turn in an 'Us against the World' type deal. I've played with both kinds and I don't think a child would typically show up in the former's games as opposed to the latter's. We don't have that information, so I don't see a point to naturally assume the DM's gonna be a jerk about the whole thing, especially considering since the child is of a PC and NPC pairing.

Also, it's kinda getting on my nerves that so much of this thread is 'Throw 9th level spells at it with your 8th level WBL!' Let's be reasonable about the resources available, I don't expect any 8th level party to have 17th level casters on the payroll just for making our lives easier, especially since it sounds like they're in enemy territory and I'd think the local Magic Marts (if there are any) would probably not be willing to take their business so much as perhaps turn them into the local authorities for the reward, y'know?

[Musco]

Well, I agree with the "let's be reasonable" part (the wards and stuff were meant for AFTER they're safe - since they found a foster home, I assumed it'd be the case). RP-wise:

1 - I'd get the most protective non-mail-like armor I could get my hands on, as it'd double as protection for the baby in my arms (plate would not work out so great, I think);
2 - I'd not get in any fight unless there was no way to avoid it (what would I do, trust my baby to someone else to hold and keep out of danger's way? fat chance!);
3 - I'd probably adopt the total defense action whenever possible and relevant, cradling the infant in my arms to protect it from harm (and area of effect spells);
4 - If all hell broke lose I WOULD escape the scene and meet up with my team mates at another time and location;
5 - I'd NEVER scout ahead, nor lag too much behind the party, for protection;
6 - I'd never stay close to a door/chest/cabinet or go inside a room first, unless the baby's life was in grave danger by not doing so (and after going into a room, I'd probably stay in the most open area available, away from objects from where traps might spring).

Basically this, until I found a foster home and proceeded to "familicide mode" before returning for the baby or retiring.