Exalted Webcomic?

[Gensh]

So, as most of you know, the dominant (which is to say only) Exalted webcomic for the last several years was Keychain of Creation (http://keychain.patternspider.net/). It seems, however, that the current hiatus will never end, and we've witnessed the death of yet another webcomic due to creator strain. One of the largest problems with the media is that the creator is forced to continue regular updates even while in a rut, such that when they're finally forced to stop, they can never muster the will to come back to it. Now, I know that there's at least one (http://www.neverborncomic.com/) Exalted webcomic running right now, but it isn't necessarily what we need. Some players were introduced to the game by the quick and easy nature of KoC, and with WW's financial situation leading to no more printed books, something like that is exactly what's needed to get new players interested in Creation.

On that note, I noticed something rather odd the last time I went to my local bookstore - they had copies of Mouse Guard. Now, I'm unsure as to whether that might have been because someone requested it and insisted it would sell, but regardless, there was a copy of the core rules for a game less well-known than Exalted but not Exalted. Even where I can find Exalted books, most of them are from 1E. That's when I realized a major factor as to why Exalted isn't as widespread as it could be - 2E has really boring cover art. Sure, you don't judge a book by it's cover, but without an interesting cover, there's no reason why you'd even bother to inspect the contents of one particular book rather than any of the others in the bookstore. Having a webcomic like KoC - one that is easily accessible to new readers rather than having a deep, intellectual or artistic appeal - would definitely bring new blood into the community, which is kind of insular as it stands. I tried that before with the crossover Godtrapped (http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread.php?45108-GODTRAPPED-Play-the-game-Save-Creation-%28Exalted-urb%29), but the setup took too long, and when I was forced to go on hiatus because of schoolwork, no one really cared, since there was not yet any reason for the readers to stick with it. Like the first episode of a TV show, the next Exalted comic needs to have established an interesting world and cast within the first few updates.

Now, this is the reason for my making of the topic. As stated, one of the weaknesses of webcomics is the tendency of writers and artists to get burned out by the regular schedule. I'm not saying that writers for TV series don't get burned out, but the effect is lessened because there is a group of them rather than an individual. That's what I'm proposing here: that those who are interested band together. With a team of five or six writers, the strain of coming up with new ideas once the initial plotline is resolved would be lessened. Likewise, with more than one artist, it allows the comic to continue even should one suddenly be faced with an emergency. Now as for how to deal with having more than one art style, I have a few ideas, but I'd rather get everyone's input on the basic plan first.

[Hiro Protagonest]

I'm in if I don't have to draw.

Should it have metagame stuff, or just be in the Exalted world? Although in all actuality, there wouldn't be much difference, other than mooks saying things like how they're extras, as well as some metagame talk about exactly how their powers work. So it really depends on how much humor we want. On the plot/characterization/drama vs humor scale, there is quite a bit of overlap between the two, but metagame is inherently more silly.

We should stat up each major character though.

For party members, I was thinking one or two obligatory* Dragon-Blooded, one or two Lunars, and two to four Solaroids. It could also be interesting to have an all Dragon-Blooded party, Dynast or Outcaste or Lookshy or mixed. But give the Outcastes some better stats. It would also be interesting for one of the Solaroids or Lunars to have a merc company, and one of the Dragon-Blooded in the party be an Outcaste that exalted fighting for the company. That would pretty much assure the mercs under the exalt's command that the Immaculate Order is wrong.

For villains, the Neverborn would work well, and maybe the Deathlords, since killing them pretty much just means their ghosts get reincarnated and their exaltations are free. Everyone else can be sympathized with (for example: (spoilered for length)
imagine if you lived with your friends in the middle of an unending forest. And you decide to build a city in the treetops. And build creatures to populate it. Then, underneath that city, you turn a portion of the forest ground into something else, populated with tiny creatures each about the size of a tack, in an equally small environment. Every time you visit that world, you crush some of that just by virtue of being so powerful. Then, those guys decide to kill you and your friends. They kill some of your friends, then when you surrender, they cut you open like an envelope, before stitching your skin back together, but inside out, then using super super glue and stitches to tie your friends to you. That's roughly what it's like for Malfeas, except in terms understandable for mortals). And besides, killing the Neverborn (again) is sympathy, since their ultimate goal is to become nothing.

*Not actually obligatory, I'm just spitballing here trying to come up with stuff.

[Gareth3]

OK, count me in. I think the webcomic should focus on the conflict between Solars and Dragonblooded in the "present". It's both the central focus of the game and one of the most original and interesting setting elements. See the tutorial at http://jyenicolson.net/exalted/ for an example of how you can create interesting stories around this. For a start, here's a summary of the Exalted backstory that the webcomic could be based on:


The Primordials made Creation, and created the gods to serve them and humanity to serve the gods. The gods plotted rebellion, but were geased never to attack the Primordials. They created the Exalted from humanity, beings with the power of gods but the free will of humans.
The gods and Exalted fought against the Primordials and defeated them, taking control of Heaven and Creation. The Primordials were imprisoned in Hell while the gods retreated to Heaven. The Unconquered Sun granted the 300 Solar Exalted command of Creation, with the 10,000 Terrestrial Exalted to serve them.
The Solars ruled Creation for millenia, with their divine power passing on to mortals after their death. The Terrestrials were weaker but passed their powers along to their children, and grew in number. The Solars eventually became corrupt and brutal. The Unconquered Sun turned his face from them and the Terrestrials rebelled, killing almost all Solars. The Terrestrials ruled Creation and hunted down and killed the handful of Solars that kept appearing, while most of the divine power of the Solars was mysteriously absent, not able to empower mortals.
Plague and invasion by the Fair Folk destroyed the Terrestrial's Shogunate, and threatened to destroy Creation itself. A young Terrestrial used a superweapon created by the Solars to save Creation, and established the Realm, with herself as the Scarlet Empress.
Today, the Scarlet Empress has vanished, and the Realm is on the brink of civil war. The divine power of the Solars has been released, empowering hundreds of mortals both good, evil, and amoral. Agents of the Realm are still in murderous pursuit of the Solars, who they know can become powerful enough to rule Creation and depraved enough to destroy it.


This isn't a rewriting of the setting - Lunars, Sidereals and whatnot still exist. It just reflects the point of view of the comic. No-one knows about Sidereals, so the Terrestrials just get a whole lot of mysterious good luck. There are rumours of "werewolves" and "lizardmen". A Lunar might appear, but no-one will really understand what he is. Perhaps later on in the comic we might learn what caused the Great Contagion, or why the Solars started appearing again.
Thoughts?

[Madwand]

Having a webcomic like KoC - one that is easily accessible to new readers rather than having a deep, intellectual or artistic appeal - would definitely bring new blood into the community, which is kind of insular as it stands

Ambitious. :smallsmile: Well, I am in for brainstorming ideas.

.....

This being said, if we like to write long (and intresting) plotline with unexpected twists, and characters with suprises in backstory I would suggest not doing it on public forum..:smallbiggrin:

[Hiro Protagonest]

Dammit, the part that Madwand quoted must've slipped my mind.

I don't like Gareth3's idea. No Lunars? Green Sun Princes? Sidereals? Yes, I know you said that two out of three of those exist, but the readers won't know that. I might not even be able to tell when you're using a Sidereal if you don't spell it out for me. On the other hand, that means the Sidereals are doing it right. But no Gold Faction influence? What about Fair Folk? Raksha? Demons?

Also, the main character in that tutorial linked is a girl. But she has wives. Why did they decide to make a tutorial character homosexual/bisexual?

[Gareth3]

It's all about what works in the webcomic. Keychain of Creation managed fine with no Infernals - the author didn't write them out of the setting, it's just that his story didn't have a place for them. If we start with just Terrestrials and Solars, we can gradually introduce more if they're appropriate to the story and won't need a lot of exposition for newcomers. Maybe one of the Solars can have a Lunar mate show up, or we eventually find out the truth about that "mortal" that hangs around with the Wyld Hunt.


Also, the main character in that tutorial linked is a girl. But she has wives. Why did they decide to make a tutorial character homosexual/bisexual?

It's a reflection of the setting, where homosexuality and bisexuality is widely accepted. That said, it goes a bit overboard with two exclusively homosexual characters and no heterosexuals.

[AmberVael]

The idea is intriguing, but I would like to make a note that, despite the potential flaws, there is generally a reason there is one author rather than many. To draw on an old saying: "too many cooks spoil the broth."

Not that I want to discourage the endeavor! I just want to point out that you should be careful, and probably shouldn't just nab the first people to come along. Find and form a group that will work together well, and as importantly, have similar thoughts on the setting. There's enough variation off interpretation in the actual setting writers, let alone in the fanbase- try and nip terrible drama arguments in the bud.


Also, the main character in that tutorial linked is a girl. But she has wives. Why did they decide to make a tutorial character homosexual/bisexual?
As the sexuality of the tutorial character is pretty much irrelevant to the tutorial, it could be that they picked it at random.
However, if there must be a reason, it was a quick, simple, and subtle way to address the fact that Exalted tends to be a fairly inclusive and tolerant setting.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Mmm... alright. But I want there to be a Lunar soon, if not in the party from the start. Like maybe they wander onto Seven Devil Clever's street at night. Or decide to take over the Haslanti League, for a bigger and more dramatic reveal of a Lunar. Sidereals come later, leading a part of the Wyld Hunt as a Dragon-Blooded, then revealing strange powers when isolated from his soldiers and comrades. Then, perhaps an Infernal.

But the immaculate mastah from KoC is an Infernal. As revealed in his own comic, Tales of the Mastah. Maybe he learned a dragon style from akuma.

[Urpriest]

Sidereals can be mysterious, as can GSPs and Abyssals, but Lunars are central enough and popular enough with new players that I agree they need to show up early, if not right from the beginning.

[Gensh]

I'm in if I don't have to draw.

You know, if we don't end up getting any artists on board, this isn't going to work at all. :smalltongue:


Should it have metagame stuff, or just be in the Exalted world? Although in all actuality, there wouldn't be much difference, other than mooks saying things like how they're extras, as well as some metagame talk about exactly how their powers work. So it really depends on how much humor we want. On the plot/characterization/drama vs humor scale, there is quite a bit of overlap between the two, but metagame is inherently more silly.

I'm of the opinion that it could either way. Though we could effectively make it half-and-half, where there's a narrator who talks about game mechanics and speaks through the forth wall - but is a character in the plot as well. This was moderately popular in my last game, though Narrator stopped talking to the players after a few sessions.


We should stat up each major character though.

An excellent idea.


For party members, I was thinking one or two obligatory* Dragon-Blooded, one or two Lunars, and two to four Solaroids. It could also be interesting to have an all Dragon-Blooded party, Dynast or Outcaste or Lookshy or mixed. But give the Outcastes some better stats. It would also be interesting for one of the Solaroids or Lunars to have a merc company, and one of the Dragon-Blooded in the party be an Outcaste that exalted fighting for the company. That would pretty much assure the mercs under the exalt's command that the Immaculate Order is wrong.

I'd like it if there weren't any DB characters in the party initially. Instead, there could be cutaways to DB antagonists during downtime for the circle. Better to show how DB society works, whether the Realm or Lookshy or wherever, first; then we could have a revelation and have one or more DB characters defect to the party. I rather like the way that fire-aspect with the eyepatch is set up.


For villains, the Neverborn would work well, and maybe the Deathlords, since killing them pretty much just means their ghosts get reincarnated and their exaltations are free. Everyone else can be sympathized with. And besides, killing the Neverborn (again) is sympathy, since their ultimate goal is to become nothing.

I'd rather Primordials and their ilk be left more vague and mysterious until we have enough time to set up a dramatic arc that explains their situation in a mostly unbiased manner. As for villains, a handful of Deathlords could work, with cutaway scenes showing the politics between them.


OK, count me in. I think the webcomic should focus on the conflict between Solars and Dragonblooded in the "present". It's both the central focus of the game and one of the most original and interesting setting elements. See the tutorial at http://jyenicolson.net/exalted/ for an example of how you can create interesting stories around this.

This isn't a rewriting of the setting - Lunars, Sidereals and whatnot still exist. It just reflects the point of view of the comic. No-one knows about Sidereals, so the Terrestrials just get a whole lot of mysterious good luck. There are rumours of "werewolves" and "lizardmen". A Lunar might appear, but no-one will really understand what he is. Perhaps later on in the comic we might learn what caused the Great Contagion, or why the Solars started appearing again.
Thoughts?

I feel this would do a disservice to the DBs. No matter how sympathetic they are, without including the more supernatural aspects, they're just an Evil Empire to the common reader. There needs to be raksha to turn away from Creation, Lunar barbarians who disrupt their colonies and lead rebel armies, akuma lurking within the very heart of civilization, and blights in the very fabric of the world that must simply be isolated and burned away. They are overworked, and worst of all, puppets of unfathomable masterminds, but they press on for the good of everyone.


This being said, if we like to write long (and intresting) plotline with unexpected twists, and characters with suprises in backstory I would suggest not doing it on public forum..:smallbiggrin:

Should the webcomic go into production, the writers and artists would retreat to a private chat, yes.


It's all about what works in the webcomic. Keychain of Creation managed fine with no Infernals - the author didn't write them out of the setting, it's just that his story didn't have a place for them. If we start with just Terrestrials and Solars, we can gradually introduce more if they're appropriate to the story and won't need a lot of exposition for newcomers. Maybe one of the Solars can have a Lunar mate show up, or we eventually find out the truth about that "mortal" that hangs around with the Wyld Hunt.

That's much what I was intending to push for anyway, with an exception for party members. If the writers agree and find a way to pull it off, there could even be a starting party consisting of one of every Exalt type, but unless it's directly relevant to the plot, none of it would be mentioned. So one guy shoots green fire from his eyes - who cares why, it's awesome.


It's a reflection of the setting, where homosexuality and bisexuality is widely accepted. That said, it goes a bit overboard with two exclusively homosexual characters and no heterosexuals.

While "Everyone Is Bi" is one of the tropes typically associated with Exalted, I agree that it can easily be taken too far. To this end, I would probably end up keeping a shipping chart like I did with Godtrapped. Any time we considered a new romantic development, we could look at it and say, "whoops, there are a dozen lesbian pairs, maybe some of the guys are trying too hard for fanservice."


The idea is intriguing, but I would like to make a note that, despite the potential flaws, there is generally a reason there is one author rather than many. To draw on an old saying: "too many cooks spoil the broth."

I'm aware of how things could end poorly and incidentally have read a manga where that was a plotline. I think there won't be so many issues if the group is arranged carefully and each writer is given an appropriate topic to think on, rather than everyone throwing ideas at a single area.


Not that I want to discourage the endeavor! I just want to point out that you should be careful, and probably shouldn't just nab the first people to come along. Find and form a group that will work together well, and as importantly, have similar thoughts on the setting. There's enough variation off interpretation in the actual setting writers, let alone in the fanbase- try and nip terrible drama arguments in the bud.

I'm of the opinion that sharply differing views can yield highly effective scenes of contrast. But you are right in that the group's structure must be such that there aren't teammates constantly at each others' throats; we'd need to define how we want to define controversial aspects of the setting weeks before their introduction. Still, letting a writer not sympathetic to, say, Malfeas write him during his initial appearances but then giving him to a sympathetic writer for a dialogue with Sol would be a far more dramatic characterization than merely giving him the sympathetic writer from the beginning - and vice versa.

[Hiro Protagonest]

You know, if we don't end up getting any artists on board, this isn't going to work at all. :smalltongue:

I'm terrible with MS Paint. I might be able to download Inkscape once my computer's fixed (I'm on my mom's. I also don't have my PDFs, since my mom won't let me download them onto this computer, so I'm stuck with core and the Infernals book, although I can find most of the errata on the wiki), but I don't know how much that'll help.

[Lord Raziere]

I'm interested, and I can do KoC art on inkscape, and I also do want to be a writer someday, but I'm unsure of how reliable I can be.

[Gareth3]

Here's a few suggestions for characters. We could mix and match these as appropriate.

1) A sympathetic Terrestrial who is a member of a Wyld Hunt. "Evil Empire hunting down supernatural good guys" is a musty old pop culture staple, but it can work if the Empire is fleshed out enough. This character sincerely believes that if Solars aren't killed immediately, everyone will eventually end up with a golden boot on their neck. He might even be right.

2) An unsympathetic Solar, to supply the boot. Someone that the reader will instantly understand the need to kill. A sadistic serial killer, a tyrant, an amoral sorceror willing to crack Creation in half to see if he can - whatever fits the tone of the comic. I'd prefer this to a Deathlord as the main villian.

3) and 4) We probably want sympathetic Solars and unsympathetic Terrestrials as well.

5) A female warrior, from a culture where this is not unusual and she was not discriminated against because of her gender.

6) A martial artist who fights bare-handed, or with an interesting martial arts weapon. Might be more appropriate for a Terrestrial.

7) A sorceror. His sorcery fits the original model from the Conan stories, no casting fireballs in combat.

8) An unenlightened mortal, who an Exalt cares about and wants to protect.

[Qaera]

I'm working on one that I plan to publish after my AP exams.

~ ♅

[Gensh]

I'm interested, and I can do KoC art on inkscape, and I also do want to be a writer someday, but I'm unsure of how reliable I can be.

This is actually a matter that would need further discussion: what sort of art are we going to use? Something simplistic like KoC (though not necessarily in the same style) would certainly make having multiple artists easier, as there would be less difference between their work, though as I've said, I have a few ideas on how to allow for entirely different art styles.


Here's a few suggestions for characters. We could mix and match these as appropriate.

I'm certain everyone has all sorts of ideas for characters and plotlines, but we really need to get an established group before putting anything together.


I'm working on one that I plan to publish after my AP exams.

~ ♅

! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P9UyfnO0kA)

[Sanguine]

I would be interested as a writer.

I think the best way to go about this would be to do something similar to the Wheel of Time. That is to say, one massive story composed of a multitude of interconnected plot lines spanning all of Creation. Having the overarching story be about the end of the Second Age is entirely optional. I think this would work as it would easily allow different writers to focus on different aspects of the story. It would also allows us to show the true breadth of the setting to these new players we will be trying to hook. Though it would need to be handled very carefully in the beginning.

[Gareth3]

The problem is that there's only so many comics in a week, and multiple plot lines means less time to focus on each one. The comic will live or die on sympathy for the characters, and you need do devote as much effort as possible on each one. Both Keychain and Order of the Stick focus on a single small group of characters.
Granted, you do want to give some idea of the breadth of the setting. So maybe you invent some reason why Exalts from all over Creation (either just Solars or some combination), with wildly different cultures, gather together in the same place.

[Sanguine]

That is very true. It wouldn't be much of a problem once we were of the ground and had a loyal fanbase. But achieving those things is the tough part. One way to do it might be to start with a small party and then later in the story split them up and bring back minor characters as important ones. But I admit it is a risky proposition.

On another matter, I don't like the idea of keeping things strictly Terrestrial and Solar. I'm fine with leaving the Primordial, the Sidereals, The Deathlords, and all the various Primordial Exalts mysterious and undefined; at least in the beginning. But not having the Fair Folk, and Ghost, and Spirits show up in the story would be doing a great injustice to setting in my mind. Dragon Kings and Jadeborn on the other hand are entirely optional.

[Gensh]

That is very true. It wouldn't be much of a problem once we were of the ground and had a loyal fanbase. But achieving those things is the tough part. One way to do it might be to start with a small party and then later in the story split them up and bring back minor characters as important ones. But I admit it is a risky proposition.

On another matter, I don't like the idea of keeping things strictly Terrestrial and Solar. I'm fine with leaving the Primordial, the Sidereals, The Deathlords, and all the various Primordial Exalts mysterious and undefined; at least in the beginning. But not having the Fair Folk, and Ghost, and Spirits show up in the story would be doing a great injustice to setting in my mind. Dragon Kings and Jadeborn on the other hand are entirely optional.

My plan for dealing with the party for the comic is what I will be attempting in my upcoming "Solar" game, so depending on how long it takes to establish a definite group to work on this, I might already have results as to how well it works. Long story short, the group at the very beginning is purely Solars. They immediately begin to interact with Dragonblooded, however, and at that point, a DB could join the party in case of PC death. If they tend more toward exploring, then they'll gradually discover signs of Lunar influence; if they tend toward diplomacy, Sidereal. Whichever group is introduced slowly enough, allowing Wild Mass Guessing on the part of the new players who don't have any idea what it is they're about to discover. Once the other Exalt type has been introduced, however, they also become available for play in case of PC death. With a slow introduction that is only advanced by the players, newbies are not overwhelmed by the sheer amount of "stuff" in Creation and could potentially even leave should they not want to deal with it. In the case of a webcomic, that option doesn't quite present itself in the usual manner, but surely we could allot for some amount of influence by the readers in order to get them more personally involved. Not necessarily in the manner of a Choose Your Own Adventure, but if you recall, KoC had a poll to choose Secret's Deathlord. You're right about having multiple groups of protagonists being able to show the richness of the setting, though. That's certainly something we could do once we'd introduced interesting NPCs from the other Exalt types, whether by my plan or by someone else's.

[Gensh]

I apologize for the double post, but as you all know, there isn't really any way to redirect attention here aside from posting in the General Discussion again. Anyway, I've done a bit of thinking regarding this project, specifically, how we would go about assembling the group. While I had for a time entertained notions of having five writers for five castes, but that's a bit silly and takes Exalted's obsession with that number too far. In accordance with the notion that too many writers will just result in squabbling, I figure there ought to be three, to prevent a deadlock between two writers or two teams of two. Of course, there's the issue of how to determine the three. Assuming that I'm expected to retain the position of friendleader, I could provide a brief prompt and ask everyone to write a six-panel (or so; without an artist, we don't know what style of paneling would be used) script. Either I could judge them personally or it could go to a vote. On the other hand, if someone else wants to be friendleader, then I'll participate in whatever method we use for author selection rather than simply getting a free pass. Finally, as has been mentioned, do we want to use a simplistic art style like KoC/OotS? It would lessen any sort of dramatic impact but also is more colorful and greatly increases the number of potential artists.

tl;dr
1) Three writers max. How do we want to decide on who gets the positions?
2) Art style. Look for more traditional artists or use some form of stick figures?

[Gareth3]

The process will go much easier if there's a clear leader, so I think it's better if you do the judging personally. As to the contest, it depends if you've decided on an overall setting and concept. If you have, going straight to scripts is fine. If not, you might want the writers to pitch their ideas so you can judge them on that side of the process too. I have my own idea for the comic, but I'll wait to see what you've got.

As for art, we certainly want some kind of simplified style even if it's not exactly like OotS. That not only increases the pool of artists but saves time creating each script. One option is to only have black-and-white line art in the main run of the comic. We can always colour it later.

[Sanguine]

I agree with Gareth for the most part. However, I think going black and white would be a horrible idea.

[Gensh]

All right. Since I'm assuming that silence means either agreement or lack of interest in the nitty-girtty details, I'll go ahead and lay down the basics. It's kind of specific, because Defiler-caste.

General Information
There will always be exactly three writers.
All volunteers for illustration will be accepted; however, they will not strictly be able to influence the plot. Minor aspects, like who's walking around in the background and visual aspects like hairstyle and costume design will be fine to play with so long as major changes are discussed by the entire design team.
There will be a thread here in the Playground where anyone can make suggestions. Should a writer be unable to perform their duties indefinitely or wish to retire, a replacement will be chosen from among the active posters in the new thread.
The exact level of complexity of artwork will be decided by the illustration team. The authors may provide opinion but do not get to vote on it. Beggars can't be choosers.

The Contest
Since I've been unanimously elected friendleader, I will be the one judging all entries. If there are multiple entries which really deserve to win, I will consider public opinion in making the final decision.
All entries are due May 1st, one week from now.
You may only have one entry. Prior to the deadline, however, you may change or replace your entry as you desire.
You must write the script for at least one page in the manner of a screenplay. The script must start with a character list with brief descriptions and must list stage directions in [brackets] in addition to dialogue. Being a good author is one thing; being able to describe your envisioned scene to an artist in a quick and easy manner is another.

The topic for the contest is: Preparation For the Realm Civil War. There should be at least two characters in your entry - one protagonist and one questgiver. Whether your want to have DB martial artist and sifu, two old Lunars discussing how their time is coming, a GSP attended by his demon butler, or even a single Unshaped pretending to be all of those pairs at once is your prerogative. You should not use canon characters. We all know how to make Faffles blow up Gem and Mnemon say "bluh bluh." Here's a chance to show off your own creativity.

[Gareth3]

I'll get working on this. I assume you want the entries as posts in this thread?

[Gensh]

I'll get working on this. I assume you want the entries as posts in this thread?

Yeah, just so everyone can see them.

[Hopeless]

Just a quick question.

Being only familiar with first edition exalted every time I tried running Exalted using Solars they either came across as far too overpowered or became difficult to create any real opposition short of sending entire armies after them!

But from what i remember would you be basing your web comic on the Dragonblooded at the start with any of the other potential exalted being revealed as the story goes on say like in one of the cities rather than on the edge of the wyld where most of the Lunars are described as being more likely to be found (more likely not all of them).

Its just you could easily get around the sidereal by leaving it up the reader to figure out who they are given their obvious tendency towards keeping their presence a secret.

So i was wondering what your thoughts on this are, do you prefer to start in a more urban environment or perhaps start off in the middle of a battle between opposing forces whom you eventually learn whose who and what side as the story progresses?

The Keys of Creation felt alot like a Lord of the Rings story in its scope and I was wondering if you wanted something similar or perhaps something more reminiscient of say the Illiad or if you include the fey perhaps a Midsummers Night style adventure?

Sorry for the interruption but this is the first time I've come across anything like this in the planning stage and wondered what your view is on this?

[Gensh]

Being only familiar with first edition exalted every time I tried running Exalted using Solars they either came across as far too overpowered or became difficult to create any real opposition short of sending entire armies after them!

That's more a mechanical hiccup in the system rather than a narrative issue. As such, that should have little to no effect on the comic. While creating character sheets for the protagonists is something that would be helpful to new players, there's no reason to stick to the mechanics within the confines of the comic. Narratively, young Solars can get slapped around by Elder DBs, fooled by raksha or demons, and murderized by the various uber-ghosts.


But from what i remember would you be basing your web comic on the Dragonblooded at the start with any of the other potential exalted being revealed as the story goes on say like in one of the cities rather than on the edge of the wyld where most of the Lunars are described as being more likely to be found (more likely not all of them).

Since there are going to be authors other than myself, I can only give you the broadest sort of answer here. The comic probably won't just be about a DB brotherhood that eventually gains Celestial members. DBs can be awesome, gritty heroes, but they're not what Exalted is about - it's about the return of the Celestials. As such, the party will have a Celestial core, and any DBs (and by extension Alchemicals) will be outliers like Ten Winds from KoC. With that said, the party might only have Solars at the beginning and then gain additional members, since the Solars' ignorance of other character types can provide a stand-in for new readers. On the other hand, we could have a strong start with a mixed group from the beginning like KoC and exposit on the other Exalt types through backstory. That way, new readers can grow used to seeing the sorts of things they do gradually, and we can get feedback on whether they want to see more green nuclear fire or whatever.


Its just you could easily get around the sidereal by leaving it up the reader to figure out who they are given their obvious tendency towards keeping their presence a secret.

That's a possibility, yes. On the other hand, maybe there's a big interest in the mysterious ninjas that keep thwarting the party.


So i was wondering what your thoughts on this are, do you prefer to start in a more urban environment or perhaps start off in the middle of a battle between opposing forces whom you eventually learn whose who and what side as the story progresses?

Since this is a comic at least partially aimed toward getting new players interested in Exalted, we probably won't start in media res - or at least not so far that there's a whole battle going on. Now, starting in an urban environment would be interesting, but there's also the issue of collateral damage. We wouldn't be able to showcase the characters' full power because destroying an entire block is likely to get someone caught by the Wyld Hunt (unless the city is Malfeas). Of course, initially limiting the protagonists could work to an end, as with KoC.


The Keys of Creation felt alot like a Lord of the Rings story in its scope and I was wondering if you wanted something similar or perhaps something more reminiscient of say the Illiad or if you include the fey perhaps a Midsummers Night style adventure?

The LotR style of adventure is likely what will be done, simply because it's the iconic Hero's Journey. There are clear milestones that can be focused on and also a clear progression of rising action. The problem with comparing the Iliad is that it was effectively an ancient Greek Justice League comic - it had everyone's favorite folk heroes, plus a lot of interesting other guys that you've never heard of. Using that style would inevitably bring in fewer new readers, which is one of the reasons for planning this comic. This goes for any plot structure that involves more than a basic level of plot complexity. The comic needs to be easily accessible at all points; a new reader needs to be able to see the current page and say "This is a cool battle, I'll go back a few pages to see it all" rather than being forced to start reading from the beginning to be able to understand what's happening. That's why many longer, story-heavy comics rarely pick up new readers after the opening act.


Sorry for the interruption but this is the first time I've come across anything like this in the planning stage and wondered what your view is on this?

No, it's fine. The reason for this sort of meticulous planning and having a contest and a thinktank and everything is just because webcomics frequently die due to poor planning. I've actually tried it before and - what do you know? - it died because I ended up having too much schoolwork for the month following its start and didn't have enough time to illustrate.

[Orosboru]

Draft... formatting in progress.

A Immaculate Temple - Dawn
TEPET Maya creeps up to sit at the bottom of the stone steps leading up to the massive double doors of the temple. A towering statue stands behind her out of view, casting long shadows that partially shade her face. She is staring straight forward towards the centre of the Blessed Isle. Mount Meru is visible in the distance. The sky is clear, with only a tuft of clouds to blot the sky.

We see that she is confused, trying to muster up the will to do or say something, but her eyes creep downward. Her immaculate robes, usually coloured white, are dirty from hours of practice, and her short, green hair is mussed up. She's toying with something in his hands, but we can't see it. A belt striped with the colours of the Immaculate Dragons indicates that she is a novice.

A man grabs his shoulder, and TEPET Maya is startled.
[quickly turning around.]

UNKNOWN MALE
(musing)
Thinking?

We see the man from TEPET Maya's point of view. He is a old man, bald at the top, with a wispy long white beard. His robe is coloured in earth tones, and his belt is a simple piece of hemp. He smiles at TEPET Maya.

TEPET Maya
(panicked)
Sifu! I didn't-

SIFU
(Laughing)
I was wondering where you went. At least you were only meditating, not going off to see some dalliance or sneak something past me.
(he pauses.)
You aren't trying to sneak something past me, are you?

TEPET Maya
No, Sifu, I wasn't-

SIFU
You may do your respectful act in public when everyone's watching, but in general, when you're amongst friends, you can speak informally.

Tepet Maya concentrates for a moment. Her expression turns into more confusion when she realizes the implication of the statement.

TEPET Maya
Sifu, it is a honour-

SIFU
(concerned and angry)
Don't 'teacher' me, you idiot. Something's wrong, isn't it?

TEPET Maya
(saddened.)
…no, there isn't.

The SIFU waits for a response. Tepet Maya is trying to hide something, but is failing. With none forthcoming, the SIFU turns away and starts to ramble.

SIFU
(pondering)
It can't be anyone here… you haven't caused too much trouble. It can't be a man, anything of that nature, because you're not a Cynis girl..
(sudden realization. His face lights up. He frowns)
It's the dragons, isn't it… Maya?

TEPET Maya
(shocked)
…how did you know?

SIFU
You're eighteen and you're still a noviciate. Dragons, it couldn't be more obvious. You've been ducking beginner katas for some time, you know. You're really good at teaching the other novices-

TEPET Maya
(angry)
Because I'm six, seven years older than them!

SIFU
(quickly backpetalling)
Not all who attend the House of Bells exalt, you know. This monastery has places for people of all abilities and strengths. We all serve the dragons in our own way.

TEPET Maya
(in despair)
Is it because I'm not a good person?

The Sifu sighs. He looks up at the statue. It is a monument to Hesiesh in abstract form. The shadow of the fire elemental dragon falls on Tepet completely. He looks back at Maya.

SIFU
You're a good person. But I do wish that you wouldn't keep your problems to yourself. But for what purpose do you desire Dragon's Exaltation? I've seen people who pass through here seeing their blessing as a ticket to a easy life, a excuse to lord over their lesser, rather than to help them across the path to enlightenment.

[the Sifu sits down next to Maya.]

Why do you want it so badly?

Maya pauses.

TEPET Maya
Our homeland is in peril, Taizu.

TAIZU
So as long as we protect it, it will always be safe.

TEPET Maya
But the Empress is gone, Taizu!

The sun rises up in the horizon. Shadows move quickly and the lighting is a pale orange. From a certain angle, it looks like the statue of the dragon is on fire.

TAIZU
And we will await her return, as always.

TEPET Maya
Tepet Ejava needs all the help she can get. She doesn't need a peaceful nun, she needs someone who can fight.

TAIZU
The Mouth of Peace has firmly forbidden us to express any political opinions, Maya.

TEPET Maya
That's because she's Mnemon's daughter!

TAIZU
(more sternly)
Yes, exactly. But she does not let her family interfere with what is proper. As should you.

TEPET MAYA
Who do you support?

Taizu is shocked. He quickly regains his composure.

TAIZU
Should have known that your nature was more fiery… has the Roseblack spoken to you?

TEPET MAYA
…no.

She turns away and stands up.

I'm here to say goodbye, Sifu. I'm joining the Wyld Hunt.

Taizu is shocked.

TAIZU
What?

He stalks up to her. She turns around.

TAIZU (CONT'D)
Why?

TEPET MAYA
There are Anathema parading around in the Threshold, Sifu.

TAIZU
But we must keep the peace here! You have no idea-

TEPET MAYA
It's all to your house's benefit, Mnemon.

Mnemon Taizu
We have to keep to our traditions, Maya! If our presence here prevents shed blood, then it is a worthy cause!

TEPET MAYA
And who do you think benefits?

MNEMON TAIZU
My student, Maya, please. The Realm was dealt a harsh blow-

TEPET MAYA
Mnemon! If the Roseblack could beat back the Bull, win back our honour and glory, she wouldn't have anything to stand on. But with our legions muzzled, she can keep us humiliated for the rest of her life.

MNEMON TAIZU
That's nonsense.

TEPET MAYA
(working herself up)
She's the enemy! And you're on her side!

MNEMON TAIZU
(sternly)
Maya!

TEPET MAYA
…I'm sorry, Sifu.

MNEMON TAIZU
Your elders are desperate - even a blind patrician can see that. You're one of my last Tepet students - they're throwing good people into the grinder of war. I'm old, Maya. I've seen the follies of war. It isn't the right time to throw our children into the jaws of the waiting Anathema. When the Empress returns-

TEPET MAYA
But what if she doesn't?

Taizu shows a little doubt. He pauses, unable to give a answer.

TEPET MAYA (CONT'D)
That's what I thought. I'm… leaving, Taizu. Thanks for the help… but blessing or no blessing, the Realm needs change that the Roseblack can bring.

Taizu stands up a little straighter. In the background, pebbles move to and fro like a earthquake is shaking them.

TAIZU
Change in haste only brings ruin, Maya.

TEPET MAYA
(passionately)
I thank you, Sifu, for your concern. But I'm a mortal. I'm not precious enough to my house to be wasted rusting my sword in its scabbard in the Blessed Isle. The restoration of my house - no, the entire Empire - won't be found here. It's found out there.

Maya points eastward. The sun is rising in the horizon.

Even if I'm mortal, even if I'm just that… I'll do whatever I can to save everyone, stop this toxic stalemate.

Tepet Maya glows with ethereal fire as a golden sun erupts on her forehead.

TEPET MAYA
Even if it means my life.

[Gareth3]

Here's my entry. The protagonist is a character I created for a online game that never got going.

Character List

Venerer Tepet Chinggis: A Lost Egg and expert archer from a nomadic Delzahn sept, who joined the Realm's legions and the Wyld Hunt, and married into House Tepet. He's a man in his twenties, with olive skin and black hair, with no visible signs of his Wood aspect. He wears the uniform of a Talon-Captain in the Realm Legions, with decorations indicating service as a Venerer in the Wyld Hunt.

Mnemon Iko: An Immaculate monk and master martial artist. He appears no older than 30, and has pale blue-green skin and red hair. He wears a black linen robe with a black woollen belt.

Panel 1
[An opulent Realm banquet hall, with a Resources N/A view of the Imperial City. A party, rather sedate by Realm standards, in is progress. Dragon-blooded wearing military, monastic, and civilian dress mill about. The only mortals present are servants. Iko sees Chinggis in the crowd and beckons him.]

Panel 2

[Iko and Chinggis talk on the edge of the crowd.]

Iko: Good to see you, honourable Venerer. You received my letter, I trust.

Chinggis: Yeah, I skimmed it. But targets for the Wyld Hunt come through the chain of command. We're not taking requests. Anyway, she's in Great Forks, it's impossible to operate there.

Iko: Oh, don't worry about that. We can get the orders generated, and cut a deal with the Great Forks gods. The point is that you agree to it.

Chinggis: What do you care about this woman, anyway?

Iko: Venerer, who do you want in charge of the Realm?

Panel 3

Chinggis: This is my first civil war, so I'm learning as I go. Is this where you punch my spine out for giving the wrong answer?

Iko: Hah! No, our side is used to public criticism. I want your honest opinion.

Chinggis: Okay, your grandmother is a paranoid, narcissistic, sadistic, megalomaniac, sociopathic bitch who no-one except her own blood relatives wants on the throne.

Iko: Go on.

Panel 4

Chinggis: My half-sister-in-law is an excellent general who everyone loves because she's not one of those filthy politicians. She'd get eaten alive on the throne, not least by her living relatives who have Dynastic charms targeting her. The others are a couple of nerds who'd get killed faster than Ejava, and a senile old mummy who'll die in five years and start the whole mess over again. But you never answered my question. What's so important about this Anathema?

Iko: You never answered mine. Someone has to take over the Realm eventually. Who do you support?

Chinggis:[sighs] I suppose Mnemon would actually be able to hold the throne, which is more than I can say for the rest of them. I'd prefer her to constant chaos. Maybe she'd mellow out when she actually wins. She'd be able to organise the Realm against the Bull and the Mask. But you can't fit that on a banner. Everyone still hates her.

Iko: That's exactly what we think. Mnemon would make the best Empress, but she has serious publicity problems. What she needs is her own hero.

Panel 5

[Chinggis, in Delzahn dress, prostrates himself before a Dragon-Blooded official. In the background is a palace made entirely of coloured glass.]

IKo:[voiceover] Someone who wasn't born in any Great House, who chose to join the Realm, and the Legions,

Panel 6

[A peasant's cottage. A young woman sleeps on a simple bed. Her forehead glows with golden light, but her full caste mark can't be seen. Chinggis stands over her, wearing a Realm battlefield uniform, holding a sword of violet glass ready to strike.]

IKo:[voiceover] and to fight Anathema, the most accomplished Lost Egg of his-

Panel 7

[We cut back to the banquet hall.]

Chinggis: I'm a little young to be Emperor.

Iko: Yes, we understand that. But you can use your popularity to work for her cause, help her connect with the people. Maybe she can even take over without bloodshed.

Chinggis: Sure, good luck with that. So what about this Anathema?

Iko: She claims to have the Exaltation of Merela, First Age Queen of the Anathema. She has the right caste mark, but beyond that, who knows? What matters is that she's behaving as if it's true. She uses Merela's name, she's recruiting an army, snatching Anathema from the Wyld Hunt - including a certain Deceiver in Greyfalls that escaped from your cadre.

Chinggis: That was her?

Panel 8

[Iko hands Chinggis a sheet of paper.]

Iko: She wants to be the next Bull, but the Merela legend is focussing her attention on us, specifically. She wants to invade the Isle and rebuild Meru. Her Circle wasn't powerful enough to do that - until she found this.

Chinggis: Wait, I've seen this, Merela was wearing it in some of the Anathema tomb carvings...

Iko: The Crown of Thunders. Not only the symbol of Anathema rule over Creation, but an artifact that vastly increases the wearer's persuasiveness and charisma. Even over other Anathema, let alone Dragon-blooded or mortals. We know she has it.

Panel 9

[A tall, powerfully built woman with brown skin and straight black hair sits on the Scarlet Throne. Her Dawn caste mark blazes with golden light and she wears a winged crown. Five elder Dragon-blooded, one from each aspect, prostrate themselves in front of her.]

IKo:[voiceover] She can use it to become the most direct threat to the Realm, even worse than the Bull or the Mask, the Queen of Anathema coming to reverse the Usurpation for good.

Panel 10

[In a possible future moment, Chinggis and Iko fight the new Merela and a young male Eclipse. Chinggis shoots an arrow at her while Iko dodges a blow from her sword. Merela wears the crown and her anima banner shows an image of the Unconquered Sun bestowing it on her, even as she fights.]

IKo:[voiceover] But if your cadre comes with me to Great Forks, we can defeat her together. You will be the hero that saved the Realm. Then you can unite the Houses behind the only stable candidate for Empress, and be her champion against the Bull and the Mask.

Panel 11

[Banquet hall]

Chinggis: Wait a second, how do you know it's the real Crown of Thunders? It's a golden crown with a pair of wings, no-one's seen her use it. How do you know she didn't just make a copy?

Iko: Because we gave it to her.

Panel 11

Chinggis: Beg pardon?

Panel 12

[A sprawling tomb complex, high on Mount Meru. A woman wearing black robes, a veil, and a gray sash is breaking into one of the doors. A Night caste mark glows on her forehead.]

Iko:[voiceover] We pulled the guards from Merela's tomb, and Mnemon turned off all the defences she could. It was easy for Merela's Wretched caste to-

Panel 13



Chinggis: [shouting] YOU GAVE A FIRST AGE ARTIFACT TO ANATHEMA?

Iko: We needed her! We need you to be a hero, we need her to be a worthy villain! Without the Crown she's-.

[B]Panel 14

[Chinggis draws his sword, the same one he used on the sleeping woman. Cactus flowers, the colour of his sword, bloom in the air around him. The other guests back away from him.]

Panel 15

[Chinggis' wedding, in the garden of a Tepet manse. His bride's skin is bright green and roughens and darkens at the shoulders to resemble bark. The violet flowers of his anima banner merge with the tiny white flowers of hers, as they exchange rings.]

Iko:[voiceover] You're a Tepet now.

Panel 16

[The banquet hall, in a possible future moment. Every guest is fighting to the death. Iko's corpse is trampled underfoot. Chinggis is mortally wounded and fighting three men at once. Out the windows, the city burns.]

IKo:[voiceover] Kill me, and the war starts tonight.

Panel 17

[Back to the banquet hall, in the present.]

Iko: Walk away, and Ejava gets all the public support and Mnemon has to burn the Isle to bedrock to win. Cooperate, and we get an Empress who can defend the Realm. It's your choice.

[Lord Raziere]

Here is an idea: why don't we have the comic start out as mortals, which an outside audience would be able to connect with better. We have the mortals tell how they see the history of the world, what they have been lead to believe and all that.

Then early on, we Exalt them, complete with cool art of how they are Exalting and such. During this Exalting process, we start giving exposition about the true nature of the world in the form of the information on the Exaltation.

[Gensh]

Here is an idea: why don't we have the comic start out as mortals, which an outside audience would be able to connect with better. We have the mortals tell how they see the history of the world, what they have been lead to believe and all that.

Then early on, we Exalt them, complete with cool art of how they are Exalting and such. During this Exalting process, we start giving exposition about the true nature of the world in the form of the information on the Exaltation.

This may or may not be a good idea. I'm still playing with the considerations involved in advertising. Mainly, I'm trying to figure out whether it's in the comic's best interest to start awesome from the beginning like 300. It could certainly work, seeing as how we have Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann as precedent, but we'll need to plan ahead very carefully if we do. Perhaps adding awesome flashbacks to the Usurpation and even momentary flashbacks to the Primordial War of just a character being overshadowed by Isidoros or something.

[Orosboru]

I believe that my script shows the process of a girl exalting, actually.

But it's better to tell the truth first, and show how the Dynasty is lying to them, otherwise you're going to confuse a lot of people. Mortals... shouldn't be the center of the narrative for very long. Perhaps you can show the day right before they exalt to show a routine.

It should be awesome out of the gate, or it will lose momentum, and that isn't good.

[Gensh]

Judging in progress.

Entries from White Wolf forums:

MrInsecure

“Everyone, please settle down,” said the Envoy of Empty Lies, straightening a stack of papers by smacking it against the ironwood table. She set the documents down, and then sat down without so much as ruffling her elegant black silk dress. She tended to move in a way that most people would consider mechanical or doll-like, but her thin red lips and quiet green eyes contrasted against her pale skin and shaved head in a way that was more reminiscent of an embalmed corpse than a marionette. “We’ve got new orders from the Lion.”

The Envoy looked around the table, thoroughly and clearly unimpressed with the group that she had been forced to work with. As a Moonshadow Caste, she naturally had a part of her brain that forced her to be reasonable, and recognize that she was working with some of the greatest talent in any Realm of Existence. However, she would have been much more willing to accept that fact if her compatriots were not so reminiscent of a student council, rather than the war council and Exalted Circle that they were supposed to be.

“Oh, did your boyfriend give you a new love letter? How ****ing cute, Envoy.” This jibe came from the Captain of the Black Guard, the Circle’s Day Caste, whose ever-smoking ivory pipe hung out of the side of her mouth like a dog’s tongue. She leaned back in her chair, her feet crossed on the table so that she had to look above her boots to see the Envoy’s face, and smiled with her scar-riddled grin. “So, what does the hunk of metal want now? Emphasis on ‘hunk,’ of course,” she said, mockingly.
“Come now, Captain,” said the man sitting next to the Day Caste, placing a gloved hand upon her shoulder. “There’s no need to be rude,” he said, glancing at the scowl upon the Envoy’s face. “Though I will admit, I am curious; what was so important that I needed to be pulled from the workshop?” The man, a Daybreak Caste named Progenitor of Lost Causes, managed to be quite expressive, despite constantly wearing a chirurgeon’s gown made of mysterious red leather and a funerary mask that hid his face behind a constant smile. “If it is not urgent, I have several projects in need of my attention.”
“I assure you, it is of the utmost urgency,” the Envoy said coldly, sliding papers across the table to her Circlemates. “As you know, we have been watching carefully for a moment to strike at the Realm since the Empress disappeared. New intelligence suggests that our moment shall soon arise.” She points at a map, depicting several arrows traveling away from the Lap and Chiaroscuro, along with a number of other major ports and satrapies. “The Legions are redeploying back to the Isle...”
“Unstable,” said the normally quiet Dusk, Cacophony of Sorrows. He shifted slightly, the clink of chains audible beneath a tattered black cloak. “Attack satrapy, or Isle?” Despite the condition of his clothing, his skin and face were flawless, and even the Envoy’s cold heart skipped a beat when she realized he was making eye contact with her.
“The satrapies. Specifically, one satrapy called Elphidem, about 100 miles West of the Lap,” she said, pointing to a marked spot on the map. “It is a major jade mining town, one the Realm is not eager to give up... but they have been withdrawing slowly, nonetheless” said the Envoy.

Progenitor nodded eagerly. “Oh, this is good news! I was starting to get low on spare parts, and a good war always replenishes my stock.” He rubbed his gloved hands together in anticipation.
The Captain moved her pipe from side to side in her mouth, thinking. “I dunno, Envoy. They might be relatively unprotected, but I doubt we’ll be the only ones going after such low-hanging fruit. Jade is way too big of a deal to pass up. Maybe not as big as your lover’s ****, but I guess we wouldn’t know that unless we found a way to drill through his codpiece, wouldn’t we?”
Suddenly, a razor sharp paper spirals from the Envoy’s direction, bisecting the Captain’s skull and causing her pipe to fall in a pool of brain matter... until her head pulls itself together with thick, shadowy Essence. “Jeez, you can’t take a joke, can you?” she says, cleaning her pipe off and placing it back in her mouth.
“This is altogether a serious matter,” says a deep, thundering voice from the far side of the table, but which resonates in their very bones. “We can tell jokes upon a stage made from the bodies of the citizens of Elphidem.” The Pastor of the Slaughtered Flock, as he was known, was a large man, garbed in the priestly vestments of a dead religion, who commanded respect simply by walking into a room. There was simply something about him that took up far more space than he actually occupied, and it awed even the belligerent Captain.
“Strategy?” asked the small, whispering voice of Cacophony. “Don’t want to kill everyone. Not again. Just want them to be quiet,” he said, curling up like a fetus on his chair. “Too many voices... too many voices...” he said, repeating the mad refrain of one whose mind was too open to the Whispers of the Neverborn.
The Pastor merely shook his head at the poor creature. “I have already divined our purpose. We shall cut off this valuable supply route for the Realm, and move to do the same across the Southern Coast,” he said, using his finger to paint a red line across the map. “And we shall divert those resources back to us, to feed our growing army’s needs.”
The Captain grinned. “And I’m guessing that means some good old fashioned sabotage? I’m game,” she said cockily.
“I just conceived of the most fascinating idea for a hunter minion. I can’t wait to get started on creating the Terrors of Elphidem,” said the Progenitor, already beginning sketching his new, terrible creation.
“Want stay away from people. Don’t want to kill everyone,” said Cacophany, uncurling himself to lean over the table. “But can kill bad people.”
The Envoy’s lips curled in a cold grin. The Lion would be pleased at their enthusiasm.

Perhaps this would work after all.

kitsune9tails

Exalted Comic: The Unthinkable
Text Script
Author: Kitsune9tails
Format: 4-Koma
Theme: Preparing for Civil War

Characters:
Cathak Agrat, a handsome and rugged man in his late 30s, just beginning to develop a pot belly. He has long coiffed red hair, a few minor facial scars, a beard and moustache, and broad muscled shoulders and upper torso. He tends toward tall hats, vestments, and tunics over robes in his clothing, with thick soled leather boots. He is Exalted Dragon-Blooded: Fire aspect. Approximately 5’ 8” tall.

Hapless doomed slave: a young man in his 20s, heavily scarred and fairly muscular in a wiry way. He has unkempt long brown hair and a shadow of a beard. He is dressed in loose -fitting set of ‘pajamas’ reminiscent of a martial arts gi. He is holding but not really wielding a simple-looking short sword. The slave has a chain tattoo. Approximately 6’ tall.

Cathak Izie, a tall, slim older woman in her early 40s. She wears a somewhat simpler robe and tunic than Agrat, a much shorter hat, but tends to accessorize with jewelry to a much greater extent. No scars. She is carrying a tome and has a fancy quill to hand. She is not Exalted. She has floor length black hair accessorized with beads. Approximately 5’ 10” tall.

Female Slave, a delicate young lady in her early 20s. She has long braided brown hair and is wearing a simple sleeveless unbelted dress with ankle-length socks.

Panel One:
The scene is a flagstone circle in a courtyard outside a fabulous Manse. Serene rolling hills and flowering trees are in evidence, in contrast to the violence about to take place.
[Stage Right] Cathrak Agrat, his anima manifest as a sheath of fire, is confronting the armed slave. His every manner is one of righteous outrage. Izie stands quietly in the background, unconcerned.

[Center Stage] The slave is obviously terrified, holding his sword defensively and delicately in front of himself.

Agrat: “And so it comes to this. Treachery within the very courts of the Scarlet Dynasty itself. It matters not to you that we face foes without number without these Holy walls, you would bring death to your own bretheren. Well it shall not be so. You and all your ilk will fall by my hand!”

Slave: “W-what? But my lord, I am not...”

Panel Two:
Same scene, the camera pulled in to feature Agrat and the slave.
Agrat has stepped forward and grabbed the slave by the neck. The slave is burning and dying, dropping his sword without even a pretense of defending himself.
Agrat: “By my burning hand!”
Slave: “Aaaiieeeee!”

Panel Three:
Same scene, with the camera pulled back a bit. Izie has the tome open and is looking thoughtful. Agrat, his hand opened, is dropping the charred skeleton of the Doomed Slave onto the flagstones. He looks smug and self-satisfied. His burning aura is gone, the flagstones charred and steaming beneath his feet.
Agrat: “Well, Izie, what do you think?”
Izie: “Well done, my lord. Properly righteous, properly articulate. However, when the war begins, an actual Dynast you confront is likely to be attacking you while you are speaking. It might be difficult for even you to say some of this in such circumstances.”

Panel Four:
Same scene. Agrat has turned away from the audience and is striding off, but has reached out to thump Izie’s hat from her head. His expression is one of mild bullying. Izie looks longsuffering, standing calmly. The Female Slave is sweeping up the remains of the Doomed Slave, an expression of quiet horror on her face.
Agrat: “Of course! That’s why I have to practice it now! Life or death combat is an embarrassing time to get tongue-tied, and no excuse.” “Besides, talking is a free action.”

[Gensh]

Judging is complete.

While I may be out of practice, I've done enough literary analysis and have read enough comics to provide complex reviews, but for this, I've merely provided summaries for the purpose of brevity. If anyone wants further explanation, feel free to ask.

The following is the metric I used to make my final decision:

Criteria
Characters: Were the characters portrayed distinct from each other? Were they interesting? Did they follow traditional plates? If so, were they still interesting?
Dialogue: Could the characters be told apart if listening blind? Did they develop a clear mental voice? How clever was the exposition?
Visuals: Were the stage directions sufficient? How evocative was the background description, whether scenery or props?
Translation: How easily can the script be changed into a comic? How much will be lost if illustrated with a simple style like KoC? How easily can an artist read movements and backgrounds?
Total: Sum of aforementioned categories.
Memorable: Quotes and details that stuck for after reading.
Flaws: Most distracting elements.


And now for the scoring:

Orosboru
Characters: ●●●
Dialogue: ●●●
Visuals: ●●●●
Translation: ●●●●
Total: 14
Memorable: "Mnemon." Progression of the sun.
Flaws: Awkward phrasing. Taizu's character changes too quickly.

Gareth3
Characters: ●●●
Dialogue: ●●●●●
Visuals: ●●●●
Translation: ●●●●
Total: 16
Memorable: "Resources N/A". Difference in speech patterns. Flowers merging.
Flaws: Too many cuts; difficult to read at speed.

Mr.Insecure
Characters: ●●●●●
Dialogue: ●●●●●
Visuals: ●●●
Translation: ●●
Total: 15
Memorable: Names. Codpiece. Headsplosion. General characterization.
Flaws: Purely exposition. Clarity would likely be lost with a simple art style. (No, not that Clarity).

kitsune9tails
Characters: ●●●●
Dialogue: ●●●●
Visuals: ●●●●
Translation: ●●●●●
Total: 17
Memorable: Agrat in general. Punchline.
Flaws: Initially shared Doomed Slave's confusion as to plot.

Congratulations, Gareth3 and kitsune9tails! The fate of an untold number of new Exalted fans is in your capable hands. Please don't punch it into a duck.

Now, for the matter of art... As mentioned, for the time being, we can't be particularly picky about this. Unless we suddenly get talented artists knocking on our door, we'll likely be doing something in the vein of KoC, possibly with Hero Mode (http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Hero_Mode) for some panels. As far as KoC style goes, Raziere has already volunteered, and I can help with both that and Hero Mode. The general idea of the art team is to get a few people who can rotate in case something comes up IRL. Is anyone else interested? Keep in mind that artists and writers will share a chat room, so you'll still get to have an influence on the story even if you weren't confident enough in your writing to submit a script (just don't go nagging the writers).

[Orosboru]

On retrospect, I was playing it a little too straight - I forgot that at its core, Keychain of Creation has a sugary humor outside with a chewy plot inside.

Hope this project goes well.

[Sanguine]

Congrats to those who were picked. I apologize for not submitting a script but the last week has been very difficult for me.

[Gareth3]

Thanks for accepting me. There were actually even more cuts in my first draft, but I toned it down a bit. What are your plans for the comic itself? I'm not sure how much you want to use from our entries, but I notice that my entry and kitsune9tails' could easily be running in parallel.

[Lord Raziere]

as for the art: how simple/complex do you want it? we will have to establish whats "hero mode" and whats "common" level here, so that we can establish something consistent, y'know stuff that can be done on time without looking bad.

also, how should we handle text? we can either go the normal "word balloon" thing and get creative with where we place the word balloons, or we can have the dialogue separate from the comic so that it doesn't get in the way of the art and such like in homestuck?

I'm sorry if its too early to ask such questions, but I still feel such things should be hammered out.

[Gensh]

Thanks for accepting me. There were actually even more cuts in my first draft, but I toned it down a bit. What are your plans for the comic itself? I'm not sure how much you want to use from our entries, but I notice that my entry and kitsune9tails' could easily be running in parallel.

Whether we want to use materials from the entries will be a matter of discussion. They both provide interesting, if not sympathetic Dragonblooded characters, but I feel that we need to start with Solars since that's what new players are going to be starting with. We could certainly have them show up later, though.


as for the art: how simple/complex do you want it? we will have to establish whats "hero mode" and whats "common" level here, so that we can establish something consistent, y'know stuff that can be done on time without looking bad.

One thing I've been debating is whether to use actual stick limbs, which would be easier, or to have full limbs like the characters did after Secret and Mareena got their Sorcerous Initiations to force everyone to get better at art (and also avoid the sudden appearance of pants). One thing that definitely needs changing is the eyes. They're the most expressive part of the human body, so we'll need to decide on a style that allows a decent range of emotion while still being simple.

As for hero mode, I can at least draw and digitally ink fairly well. The main issue then is deciding on on a style. I think in this case, "less is more" is apt. While we aren't using a retro sprited style, we can apply the same principle, which will also aid in making my art look less terrible in the case that I'm the one illustrating.


also, how should we handle text? we can either go the normal "word balloon" thing and get creative with where we place the word balloons, or we can have the dialogue separate from the comic so that it doesn't get in the way of the art and such like in homestuck?

Back when I did my first webcomic, I was told to use ordinary work balloons because otherwise it's distracting. While Homestuck can get away with having a separate dialogue box, it's because panels are illustrated individually, and there's not so much in the way of action in the regular updates. We need the text balloons to be right there beside whomever's shouting.


I'm sorry if its too early to ask such questions, but I still feel such things should be hammered out.

That's totally what I'm here for. On that note, what platform do you want to use for the chatroom? Generally, I'm on Skype all the time, but I still have some other messengers lying around. Skype also gives us the benefit of a voicechat in the case that we ever need it. Like if we want to do voiceovers.

[Lord Raziere]

That's totally what I'm here for. On that note, what platform do you want to use for the chatroom? Generally, I'm on Skype all the time, but I still have some other messengers lying around. Skype also gives us the benefit of a voicechat in the case that we ever need it. Like if we want to do voiceovers.

I don't use chatrooms much, so I guess I could get Skype, but I don't have any voice stuff, so I'll only be able to type.

weird, that rhymed, guess luck can cause rhyming to be rough.

but it is likely of my rhymes, that you have already had enough.

sorry, got carried away there for a moment, living with an imaginative mind can be distracting and tough.

no seriously, I'll stop my spontaneous rhyming now. and get Skype.

[Orosboru]

You could also use Mibbit or a IRC client, which is more old-timey, but it doesn't really need an account... and is easier to use.

and voiceovers sound awesome. You need a audio engineer or at least a good mic, or it sounds like a ape's armpit.

Also, one thing that helps with scheduling -> storyboarding. Attaching art frames to story elements shows the general shape of the comic to come, and it's a good way to gauge progress.

Also, the general weight of art duties might be extremely heavy. Don't want you guys to burn out too early.

[Gareth3]

My internet connection can't handle too much Skype, so I'd prefer text-only communication. I'd be wary of including any voiceovers - talking in an entertaining manner to an audience is a skill like writing or drawing. No offense, but I don't know if anyone in the project has that skill.

[Gensh]

I don't use chatrooms much, so I guess I could get Skype, but I don't have any voice stuff, so I'll only be able to type.

weird, that rhymed, guess luck can cause rhyming to be rough.

but it is likely of my rhymes, that you have already had enough.

sorry, got carried away there for a moment, living with an imaginative mind can be distracting and tough.

no seriously, I'll stop my spontaneous rhyming now. and get Skype.

Don't worry 'bout it bro
And just so you know
I've read many stories
Gilt by the glories
Of fanmade rapoffs
Except when they slack off
Guess I'm just sayin'
No harm in playin'


You could also use Mibbit or a IRC client, which is more old-timey, but it doesn't really need an account... and is easier to use.

I actually used IRC for a community I was a part of back in the day, but I still can't figure out for the life of me how the rooms work.


and voiceovers sound awesome. You need a audio engineer or at least a good mic, or it sounds like a ape's armpit.

If you've got a sense of humor about it, even terrible voiceovers are fun. But I recently got a better mic, so there's at least one.


Also, one thing that helps with scheduling -> storyboarding. Attaching art frames to story elements shows the general shape of the comic to come, and it's a good way to gauge progress.

I read that in a manga, so it must be true. :smallbiggrin:


Also, the general weight of art duties might be extremely heavy. Don't want you guys to burn out too early.

Yeah, that's why I'm going to try to pass things around and see if we can't get another artist or two. I once did a tri-weekly sprite comic and a weekly drawn comic, so I know how long it can take.


My internet connection can't handle too much Skype, so I'd prefer text-only communication. I'd be wary of including any voiceovers - talking in an entertaining manner to an audience is a skill like writing or drawing. No offense, but I don't know if anyone in the project has that skill.

Do you mean another place for the chatroom or purely using the text portion of Skype? Skype is more convenient for me, but I have no objections to having the chats elsewhere. But not Elsewhere.

As for the voice acting, it could either be something we did for the lulz and to blow off steam or seriously, to increase popularity and better get into the characters' heads. Hell, we could even hold another contest to see who can voiceact the best once we had enough readers. Still, I like to think I do a decent job as the Shadow of All Things (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AcgbmSyOcU&t=5m43s). I had so much trouble with that entire recording.

[Gareth3]

I didn't know Skype had a text option - that probably doesn't require much bandwidth and my connection should be able to handle it. I don't actually mind where we communicate, except that this forum we're on now is too unreliable. I've tried about three times to post this reply.

As for the story, you won't necessarily use what I had in my entry but you might be interested in how I chose to handle the Solars. The idea was that the Solars have to have some breathing space from the Wyld Hunt, so they can achieve something other than just surviving. But I want the Wyld Hunt to be a threat too. So one Solar is in a safe area, but runs a "Underground Railroad" or "Scarlet Pimpernel" operation to rescue and recruit Solars from dangerous areas. Where exactly the safe area is and what the Solar is planning can be whatever you like.

[Qaera]

They seek him here, they seek him there,
Those Realmies seek him everywhere.

~ ♅

[kitsune9tails]

Hello, everyone!

Guess this means I'll hae to catch up on reading OOTs... :)

On a more relevant note; a thought: is there going to be a Loremaster for the writers? Perhaps a person or just a text file that people can go to when they have a question about history/continuity/controversy of the fluff/setting?

Some readers can be ...insistent... about continuity.

[kitsune9tails]

Ack! Accidental double post...:smallredface:

[Gensh]

Status update!

Because otherwise none of you would have any idea whether we were just goofing around! So anyway, we've basically established the main plot, along with a few antagonists and side-plots. Come next week, I'll have scripted the first few strips, which will be the topic of discussion for the meeting. From there, it's a matter of actually making the first few strips.

In the meantime, here's the practice piece I did to learn how to get the style right, just as absolute proof we are in fact working:
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/137/e/b/exalted__neverending_torment_by_tehdevilishrogue-d505z13.png

[Rikandur Azebol]

Awesome ! Stevie Dragon looks like Pai Mei with this radioactive mustache and goatee.

[Lord Raziere]

and to prove that I have been working, here is my sample art:


http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk25/Trizap/mikogirlandlunardoctor-1.png

[Urpriest]

http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/137/e/b/exalted__neverending_torment_by_tehdevilishrogue-d505z13.png

A song is coming to mind...

I can show you the world...

[Tanuki Tales]

As a future reader of this project, I would like to humbly suggest an Infernal as a recurring character of some sort as the very least. Of the three or four Exalted webcomics I've come across, the Infernals were the least represented (if they were even included) of all the Exalt types and they're one of the types I honestly find the most interesting.

[Hiro Protagonest]

and to prove that I have been working, here is my sample art:


http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk25/Trizap/mikogirlandlunardoctor-1.png

Looks okay, but it could be better.

The problems you will have to fix are the guy's hands and arms. Unless that's supposed to be an Erymanthoi-bonded Slayer who has extra long arms and always wears two baseball gloves.

[Gensh]

As a future reader of this project, I would like to humbly suggest an Infernal as a recurring character of some sort as the very least. Of the three or four Exalted webcomics I've come across, the Infernals were the least represented (if they were even included) of all the Exalt types and they're one of the types I honestly find the most interesting.

What about Tales of the Mastah?

More relevantly, we have mostly worked out what we're doing. I'll at least give confirmation that Infernals will be introduced prior to Abyssals, but we will not be using RotSE and in fact have no idea where the Empress is at the moment.

[Tanuki Tales]

What about Tales of the Mastah?

More relevantly, we have mostly worked out what we're doing. I'll at least give confirmation that Infernals will be introduced prior to Abyssals, but we will not be using RotSE and in fact have no idea where the Empress is at the moment.

While I have read KoC, I never heard of ToM before clicking this thread.

[Hiro Protagonest]

While I have read KoC, I never heard of ToM before clicking this thread.

+1 to that.

[Lord Raziere]

Looks okay, but it could be better.

The problems you will have to fix are the guy's hands and arms. Unless that's supposed to be an Erymanthoi-bonded Slayer who has extra long arms and always wears two baseball gloves.

Oh no, he was requested to be a big, gentle-giant kind of guy. big arms are a part of that. don't go creating problems where there are none. that and he is a Lunar, Full Moon if I remember correctly, or maybe it was Changing Moon….one of the other.

Besides, they're just samples. if you really want a blood ape Slayer, I'll be happy to make someone with arms that are even bigger just for you. :smallbiggrin:

oh and I've read Tales of the Mastah. short, little bad on the art side, and a little incoherent to me. not really worth checking out in my opinion. I would go for Agents of Yu-Shan instead, its better and I think it might have an Infernal SOMEWHERE, I just don't remember WHERE…..eh doesn't really matter.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Oh no, he was requested to be a big, gentle-giant kind of guy. big arms are a part of that. don't go creating problems where there are none. that and he is a Lunar, Full Moon if I remember correctly, or maybe it was Changing Moon….one of the other.

On a second look, I realize the arms are normal length. Still a bit too wide and stiff (the girl has her arms straight, but they're at her sides), and it doesn't explain why he has hands six times bigger than someone a head shorter than him.

[Lord Raziere]

Thats how I conceptualized him man. Thats just the way he is. Better to have something that distinguishes him than nothing at all in my opinion.
That and its better this way, cause he constantly refers to the girl in the picture as "Little Miko" and she constantly rides on his shoulders cause he is so strong and big, and because she can. Plus because he is a doctor, I found it hilarious that he would have such big hands, so that people look in awe and fascination these giant hands manage these small surgery tools that are like dinky toys when he uses them but somehow his treatments always work.

Its a distinguishing feature about him that he has such big arms. don't knock it, sometimes people just have big arms. if you really want an explanation, he is distantly descended from a Wyld Mutant with big arms.