I need a Brothel Name!

[Rickshaw]

need a good innuendo-ee name for a brothel in a steampunk campaign! anything goes as long as its funny!

[Shadowknight12]

They are all innuendo, except the last one.

The Dark Cavern.
The Deep Thoroughfare.
The Hidden Depths.
The Massive Oak.
The Tall Mast.
The Quivering Hills.
The Steamy Engine.
The Lair of the Two-Backed Beast.
The Row of Rigid Spears.

The House of Lectures, Mathematics and Other Boring Things.

[Agent 451]

Sultry Scullion?

[GreenSerpent]

The Rusty Pipe is one of my personal favourite ideas. Or maybe The Oiler and the Engine.

[The Crash Man]

Bob's Magic Item Emporium (Specializes in Rods of Wonder, Bags of Holding, and Portable Holes)

[ScubaGoomba]

Are we talking a ritzy or dumpy establishment? Gonna go ahead and second The Quivering Hills, by the way.

[Snowbluff]

If you open it, 8rothel8ane will kill your pimps and take your wenches for herself.

Mordekainen's Creative Respite for one only accessible by spell?

[NNescio]

Seamstresses' Guild.

[Pokonic]

Ye Old Festhall

Shambling Mounds

Clarks & Cent's Clockwerk Caravan of Carnal Delights

[Earlster]

How about, The Out Inn.

[Earlster]

How about, The Out Inn.

[White_Drake]

I'm gonna second the shambling mounds.

[Alienist]

The house of negotiable affection

[Calanon]

The Haunted Vagina (http://www.amazon.com/The-Haunted-Vagina-Carlton-Mellick/dp/097624988X)

[Wyntonian]

The Haunted Vagina (http://www.amazon.com/The-Haunted-Vagina-Carlton-Mellick/dp/097624988X)

I....

I had about eight different responses to that. Excluding the seven that involved taking the Lord's name in vain and utterly impressive amounts of profanity.....

PLOT HOOK!!!!!

[Man on Fire]

Momma's Grotchen Fun House (of Fun).

[Wavelab]

The Haunted Vagina (http://www.amazon.com/The-Haunted-Vagina-Carlton-Mellick/dp/097624988X)

At first I wanted to laugh, then I wanted to cry, but in the end I could only smile.

So I second that the brothel's name should be "The Haunted Vagina" or "Razor Wire Pubic Hair" which is one of the writer's other books.

[Crasical]

If you open it, 8rothel8ane will kill your pimps and take your wenches for herself.

Who? Should I know who that is?

[Calanon]

I....

I had about eight different responses to that. Excluding the seven that involved taking the Lord's name in vain and utterly impressive amounts of profanity.....

PLOT HOOK!!!!!


At first I wanted to laugh, then I wanted to cry, but in the end I could only smile.

So I second that the brothel's name should be "The Haunted Vagina" or "Razor Wire Pubic Hair" which is one of the writer's other books.

I'm going to be honest with both of you, that book is ridiculous... in all sense of the word it is ridiculous :smalltongue: You should read his other work:

Hitler in Wonderland
Baby Jesus Butt Plug
Electric Jesus Corpse
The Menstruating Mall

I swear... those books are just... WOW :smallconfused:

[Wings of Peace]

The Shagging Carpet.

[grarrrg]

PLOT HOOK!!!!!

Actually... that's not a bad idea.

Name the Brothel
"The Plot Hook"

[Hylas]

The Pink Hydra
The Gelatinous Cube
The Locked Gauntlet
Ten Foot Ladder

Sorry, I just noticed it was for steampunk, so my ideas won't work.

[Marlowe]

The Come and Go.

[candycorn]

Random Encounters - For the discerning adventurer.


Actually... that's not a bad idea.

Name the Brothel
"The Plot Hook"

I would think that "The Plot Hole" would be more appropriate.

[Aegis013]

Actually... that's not a bad idea.

Name the Brothel
"The Plot Hook"

I lol'd. Even on a character who wouldn't be inclined to go to a brothel, I'd be tempted to enter that one. Second.

[anmgarmvits]

The Clockwork Dollhouse
The Wild Wild West
The Very Jolly Roger

And my personal favorite

This is Not a Brothel

[doko239]

Everyone's favorite dockside tavern, the Salty Clam!

[Thiyr]

Go with The Sleazy Brothel in the Sky. (http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Whore_Island)

[Flickerdart]

Random Encounters - For the discerning adventurer.
Make sure to roll on the table (http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8147/6977583800_6f94173262_b.jpg).

[Calanon]

Make sure to roll on the table (http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8147/6977583800_6f94173262_b.jpg).

THE ****!? :smallconfused: I actually pride myself on my ability to find obscure nerd humor but... seriously... THE ****!?

[Hecuba]

American Dad has a surprising number of well named strip clubs.
My favorite is:

Xanaboobs

[Marlowe]

You haven't seen Harlots on a table before?

[Kurgan]

Sleazy Al's Paradise Plaza and Clinic

We give them to you, and Father Tom takes them away!

explaining the joke: remove disease, or whatever the spell is called.

[The Succubus]

For something a little more refined:

The House of Solace.

[Alleran]

I'd just like to say that I'm making notes from all the innuendo in this thread for my own games. The best I came up with was "House of Explosive Happiness" (which in the game was misinterpreted as being an Evoker-slash-pyromaniac-operated magic shop, hilariously enough).

[Ianuagonde]

Bookshop "the happy ending".
Tailorshop "the lucky seamstress (pants repaired while you wait)".
The House of Healing: we specialize in pricks.
The Lancer's Tilt.
The Piston.

[BobVosh]

Ye Olde Brothele (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe). (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife)

I hope I just doomed at least 5 people to TvTropes for several hours

[Shadowknight12]

You haven't seen Harlots on a table before?

Never quite so many, no. Clearly I am terribly misinformed.

[Ravens_cry]

The Wandering Eye
The Sure Thing*
What Awaits
Nothing and More
*Also a casino

[Larkas]

How about "Sigil, the City of Doors"?

[Zaq]

Actually... that's not a bad idea.

Name the Brothel
"The Plot Hook"

In a campaign I'm in, when the PCs ended up in possession of a tavern, they named it "The Plot Hook." It's where we store retired characters, among other things.



Nothing and More



I see what you did there. And I approve.

[Rift_Wolf]

My campaign's currently taking place in a medieval Las Vegas. Here's a few of the bordello names.

The Minotaurs Horn
The Witches Wiggle
The Fighting Buck
The Noble Nymph
The Portly Sorcerer

My personal favourite is the Witches Wiggle.

[Ravens_cry]

In a campaign I'm in, when the PCs ended up in possession of a tavern, they named it "The Plot Hook." It's where we store retired characters, among other things.
I have a tavern I call The Plotting Hook, with a sign of a silhouette of a raised hook in front of a hook noised face.
It's just different enough the players might not get it in the first go.


I see what you did there. And I approve.
Yes!:smallbiggrin:
For added Elizabethan slang, you could have 'The Nunnery' headed by the priestess of some lust god or goddess.

[nedz]

The Shag Pile
The Shag Piles

[Agent 451]

I read those last two as "The Shaggy Piles" and immediately thought to myself: Gross! :smalltongue:

[Pokonic]

My campaign's currently taking place in a medieval Las Vegas. Here's a few of the bordello names.

The Minotaurs Horn
The Witches Wiggle
The Fighting Buck
The Noble Nymph
The Portly Sorcerer

My personal favourite is the Witches Wiggle.

Note to self: when I get around to that Fallout/Ebberen game, put in a Las Vegas equivulent.

As a excuse to stay relivent to the topic, The Spoony Bardesses could fit, even more so if you throw in more play-oriented puns than nessisary.

[Gnome Alone]

THE ****!? :smallconfused: I actually pride myself on my ability to find obscure nerd humor but... seriously... THE ****!?

And check out this guy making fun of it. (http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/06/the_12_harlots_of_the_dungeons_dragons_random_harl .php)

Oh, and how about The Greasy Wheel?

[Rubik]

Bloodbath and Beyond.

[bravebonebook]

The Sexy Harpy

[Rubik]

Pretty & Witty & Gay

The Purple Party Pantaloons

The Ascended Kobold

Pick-a-Dilly Square

[Larkas]

Bloodbath and Beyond.

...This one had better have a gladiatorial arena of sorts in the basement, otherwise it would be very, very weird :smalltongue:

[Rubik]

The Paladin's Mount

The Otyugh Hole

Iron Heart Surge

We Sell Scrolls of Remove Disease

The Masterwork Stirrup

The Ten Foot Pole

[Rubik]

Oh, and:

The Prancing Pink Party Pony

A Whore of a Different Color

The Halfling's Quarterstaff

[nedz]

Harpies Ease
Sylph Alice
Gone Arreas

[krai]

Crank Shaft Grinders
It is the name of a mechanic in the city i live in.

[gorfnab]

The House of Repute

[Pokonic]

The Place Where Nobody Knows Your Name.

The Rose Garden.

Moonlite Tops.

[Grundy]

Our favorite back in the day was The Rusty Scabbard

[Sajach]

"The oil can and the hatch":smallwink:
Just might work.

[Jeff the Green]

The Kitty and the Rooster?
The Tumescent Rooster?
Mme. Palm's Rooster Extenders, LLC?

[Othesemo]

The brothel in my campaign right now is called 'The Pearl.'

[JackRackham]

need a good innuendo-ee name for a brothel in a steampunk campaign! anything goes as long as its funny!

The Lady Hole
The Pink Lagoon
The Clam Shack, if you wanna be gross about it.
The Piping Pie Inn
Sadie's Sweet Meats, if you're okay with being a little crude
The Breach
The Easy Cleaver :)
The Easy Beaver (a little cliche)
The Eager Beaver (plagiarism)
The Wet Seal (double funny if you speak Somali, apparently)
The Gap :)
Maiden's Kiss (funnier if you speak Arabic)
The Cumly Maden (misspellings intentional, dress shop by day)
The Milk Depository
The Butter Factory
The Milking Station
The Milk Maid's Inn
The Ruddy Knees Inn/Tavern/etc
The Sqeaky Wheel
The Bicycle Club
The Riding Club
The Jockey's Club

I'll have more later, I'm sure


Make sure to roll on the table (http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8147/6977583800_6f94173262_b.jpg).
God, posts like this almost make me wish GiantITP had a "like" button.

[huttj509]

The Glass Blower
The Beer Goggles
Balloon Ride

[Knight13]

The Tank and Spank

Akbar's Discount Hot Chicks
Not Transvestites

Bigby's Enjoyable Hand

Mordenkainen's Luxurious Loveshack

Otiluke's Spheres

[Zubrowka74]

Actually... that's not a bad idea.

Name the Brothel
"The Plot Hook"

And you know what ? Make it a faux-french brothel. The english word "plot" sounds exactly (and spells almost) like a slang word for the female genitalia...

[Toliudar]

Flurry of Blows?

[grarrrg]

Akbar's Discount Hot Chicks
Not Transvestites

Only 8-Bits!


And you know what ? Make it a faux-french brothel. The english word "plot" sounds exactly (and spells almost) like a slang word for the female genitalia...

:smalleek:
That doesn't make adding "hook" any better.

[Fitz10019]

Maybe I'm old school, but for me tavern, inn and brothel names should be entirely visual, with an easily understood icon representing the name, because a significant part of the society is illiterate (but valued customers).

from above:
Salty Clam, Wet Seal, Tilting Lance, Rusty Scabbard, Ruddy Knees

new:
Butterchurn, Happy Eel, Rose Garden

[Zubrowka74]

:smalleek:
That doesn't make adding "hook" any better.

It's steampunk, eh.

[Man on Fire]

Random Encounters I would think that "The Plot Hole" would be more appropriate.

How about "Plot Twist"?

[Telonius]

The Reward (also serves ale)
The Masterwork Inn (to amuse other characters while the item crafters are doing their thing)
The Changeling's Secret (caters to all kinds)
Sune Blushed

[Zubrowka74]

International House of Spank-Ache (BDSM bed & breakfast)
City of Brothely Love
Gogol Bordello

[Rubik]

City of Brothely LoveI like this one.

What about The Gay Blade? (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/gay_blade)

[Shadowknight12]

I like this one.

What about The Gay Blade? (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/gay_blade)

I'm actually stealing this one for a campaign. It will be good. :smallamused:

[SetArk]

Well an player of mine opened one on one of my old campaings... It were called "Portable Hole"
(We are brazilians so in portuguese it sounds funnier... "Buraco Portatil")

[Rubik]

I'm actually stealing this one for a campaign. It will be good. :smallamused:Do tell.Whitetext

[Tengu_temp]

Portable Hole
Century Worm
Rod of Lordly Might
Robe of Bones

[Shadowknight12]

Do tell.Whitetext

Well, I was actually in dire need of a good name for a rowdy CG swashbucklers/swords-for-hire guild (founded by a satyr, ironically enough), and this is just the best fit I could have possibly asked for. I had always intended it to work as a mostly-male brothel for adventurers, but this name just cinches it perfectly.

Now I just need a hilarious catchphrase. Something like "Take our swords into your hands" or "We stand behind you."

[Rubik]

Well, I was actually in dire need of a good name for a rowdy CG swashbucklers/swords-for-hire guild (founded by a satyr, ironically enough), and this is just the best fit I could have possibly asked for. I had always intended it to work as a mostly-male brothel for adventurers, but this name just cinches it perfectly.If it works for you, I guess.

And just how much gay do you have in your games, exactly? I'm assuming your players don't mind?


Now I just need a hilarious catchphrase. Something like "Take our swords into your hands" or "We stand behind you.""For the whored!"

"The Gay Blades: Coming Together In Difficult Times."

[Kalirren]

"The Scent of Miso."

Seriously - My great-aunt ran a brothel by that name.

[grarrrg]

Nothing but Ale and Whores
And we're fresh out of Ale

[Shadowknight12]

If it works for you, I guess.

And just how much gay do you have in your games, exactly? I'm assuming your players don't mind?

Well, I have yet to have a single player who wasn't a yaoi fangirl or a gay/bi dude, so there is basically omnipresent gay in my games. I am a fan of balance in all things, however, so I try to have some lesbianism whenever I can as well. My basic rule is "one lesbian couple for every gay couple" (in this case, the mostly-female adventurer-brothel is a druidic sisterhood).


"For the whored!"

"The Gay Blades: Coming Together In Difficult Times."

The first one is very witty, but the second one slew me. I can already imagine all the snickering. Thanks!

[Rubik]

Well, I have yet to have a single player who wasn't a yaoi fangirl or a gay/bi dude, so there is basically omnipresent gay in my games. I am a fan of balance in all things, however, so I try to have some lesbianism whenever I can as well. My basic rule is "one lesbian couple for every gay couple" (in this case, the mostly-female adventurer-brothel is a druidic sisterhood).I wanna join YOUR group. Where do you live?


The first one is very witty, but the second one slew me. I can already imagine all the snickering. Thanks!Nothing saying you can't use the first as their battle-cry.

[Gavinfoxx]

I always thought that:

A good brothel has a Changeling on staff.

A great brothel has a Doppelganger on staff.

A superlative brothel has a...


Phasm (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/phasm.htm) on staff!



*Note: Read up on this creature in the Monster Manual, to see a bit of extra stuff there. This creature was designed for D&D 3.0e, so there isn't any ecology of the Phasm article or anything I know about, though there is a 3rd party writeup on pathfinder SRD. Mostly... their shapechanging capabilities are greatly superior to that of Doppelgangers.

[Rubik]

I always thought that:

A good brothel has a Changeling on staff.

A great brothel has a Doppelganger on staff.

A superlative brothel has a...


Phasm (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/phasm.htm) on staff!



*Note: Read up on this creature in the Monster Manual, to see a bit of extra stuff there. This creature was designed for D&D 3.0e, so there isn't any ecology of the Phasm article or anything I know about, though there is a 3rd party writeup on pathfinder SRD. Mostly... their shapechanging capabilities are greatly superior to that of Doppelgangers.
Because of that giant amorphous wang in the picture?

Also, hagunemnons are better. They're effectively immune to being outed by True Seeing (as they have no innate form), can be ANY nondeific being, they can mix and match parts for up to 4 critters at once (meaning you can satisfy some very interesting fetishes), their Profession skills will be uber-high (for better income...as it were), and their shapeshifting talent is Extraordinary in nature -- the only such one in the game I'm aware of.

[Shadowknight12]

I wanna join YOUR group. Where do you live?

Argentina, unfortunately! Getting players down here is like finding free money on the street. :smallfrown:

So I mostly make do with PbP. Them's the breaks!


Nothing saying you can't use the first as their battle-cry.

Oh, those zany orcs.

[Calanon]

can be ANY nondeific being

Damn... I guess my dream of bedding with 12 Mystra's, Shar, Vecna, and Orcus all at once will just remain that... a dream :smallfrown:

[Rubik]

Damn... I guess my dream of bedding with 12 Mystra's, Shar, Vecna, and Orcus all at once will just remain that... a dream :smallfrown:Sounds more like a nightmare, really.

[Gavinfoxx]

Also, I like the look of the un-hidden form of the Phasm better than the Hagunemnon, even discounting the wang-looking bit, which I assume is a 'sensory organ', due to the description.

Anyway, Phasm can change into, "almost any other creature or object" and doesn't have to concentrate to keep the shape, like a Hagunemnon does. Also, the Hagunemnon has the description of "form constantly boils", which I take it to mean it takes the basic SHAPE, but the textures and features still are implied look like.... that. Ewww. Yea, Phasm is better... less intimidating too...

[Rubik]

Also, I like the look of the un-hidden form of the Phasm better than the Hagunemnon, even discounting the wang-looking bit, which I assume is a 'sensory organ', due to the description.

Anyway, Phasm can change into, "almost any other creature or object" and doesn't have to concentrate to keep the shape, like a Hagunemnon does. Also, the Hagunemnon has the description of "form constantly boils", which I take it to mean it takes the basic SHAPE, but the textures and features still are implied look like.... that. Ewww. Yea, Phasm is better... less intimidating too...Hagunemnons are psionic, and it's easy to get lots of move actions to concentrate on holding its shape by epic levels. Plus I'm pretty sure it only boils if it doesn't concentrate; otherwise it works just like Shapechange (except, y'know, with multiple critters thrown in if it likes).

Seriously, by epic it could easily overcome any and all issues.

[Shadowknight12]

I always thought illusionists made for the best brothel workers. They can turn into anyone, just like a Phasm (they can turn into deities too!) and they can accommodate their surroundings for those people who like open skies, volcanoes, the King's bedchambers or any of the quintillion planes.

[Rubik]

Also, I like the look of the un-hidden form of the Phasm better than the Hagunemnon, even discounting the wang-looking bit, which I assume is a 'sensory organ', due to the description.

Anyway, Phasm can change into, "almost any other creature or object" and doesn't have to concentrate to keep the shape, like a Hagunemnon does. Also, the Hagunemnon has the description of "form constantly boils", which I take it to mean it takes the basic SHAPE, but the textures and features still are implied look like.... that. Ewww. Yea, Phasm is better... less intimidating too...Hagunemnons are psionic, and it's easy to get lots of move actions to concentrate on holding its shape by epic levels. Plus I'm pretty sure it only boils if it doesn't concentrate; otherwise it works just like Shapechange (except, y'know, with multiple critters thrown in if it likes).

Seriously, by epic it could easily overcome any and all issues.

[Zubrowka74]

I'm going to be honest with both of you, that book is ridiculous... in all sense of the word it is ridiculous :smalltongue: You should read his other work:

Hitler in Wonderland
Baby Jesus Butt Plug
Electric Jesus Corpse
The Menstruating Mall

I swear... those books are just... WOW :smallconfused:

Well, well, seems he also wrote a D&D adventure module!

Behold! (http://www.amazon.com/Kobold-Wizards-Enlightenment-adventure-players/dp/1936383055#reader_B0056IAW04)

[Pokonic]

Oh, and who can forget the ever lovely Quivering Mouther?:smalltongue:

[Sajach]

I have a new one "the lubed parts":smallwink:

[grarrrg]

"The Dread Gazebo"

"Just an Ordinary Storefront" *DM winks*

[Agent 451]

The Hand, Head, and Eye of Vecna.

[--Lime--]

Aunty Barbie's Helping Hands

[vulcanbardmoon]

Eye of the Beholder- for when you need some monster sized lovin'.
however for druidic lesbian brother... dire wildcats?

[nedz]

Well, well, seems he also wrote a D&D adventure module!

Behold! (http://www.amazon.com/Kobold-Wizards-Enlightenment-adventure-players/dp/1936383055#reader_B0056IAW04)

Erm, it seems to be freely available online :smalleek:
There is also a full biblography, albeit slightly out of date.

[Rubik]

Erm, it seems to be freely available online :smalleek:
There is also a full biblography, albeit slightly out of date.Where? And is it legal?

I'm seeing a ton of conflicting reviews, though. I guess it's a love-it-or-hate-it kind of thing.

[Maphreal]

The best thing to come from AoC: The Bearded Clam

[Suteinu]

The Smurven Hammer (credited to my brother).

[Rubik]

The Ramrod.

The Truss 'n Stuff

The Rowdy Beaver (http://www.rowdybeaver.com/)

The Buggered Hedgehog
Despite popular convention, apparently hedgehogs CAN be buggered...but only if you've got the appropriate DR, or fast healing.

The Love Bite

The Love Tap
For the upper planes.

The Hate Hit
For less reputable outer planes.

The Sucking Succubus

[Socratov]

House of Heavenly Delights
Chacun à son goût (actually slightly classy, means "to whomever his taste")
Guild for the oldest job
Lady Marmalade's House
The Freudian Slip(per) (especially funny in Dutch since cheating is commonly referred to as making a "slippertje")
Tio for Fellas

for the male variant:
Cunning Linguists Guild
The Rocking Horses
House of Hung Harrys
Rod of Wonder
Lords of Rodly Might
Gloryhouse

[Suteinu]

Quim and Barrett.

And remember, "Money walks out your door when love comes innuendo.". (Groucho Marx)

[Roguenewb]

"The Healing Surge" God I hate 4e

"The Sunken Pole"

"The Mosquito's Rest"

[OracleofWuffing]

Well, it's steampunk, so...

The Spring and Flange Assembly.

[nedz]

I was in a London Pie shop yesterday where they were advertising a "Monthly Special". I didn't try it, but I couldn't help thinking about this thread.:smalleek:


Where? And is it legal?

I'm seeing a ton of conflicting reviews, though. I guess it's a love-it-or-hate-it kind of thing.

Well I just followed the link which loads up a several page document. Turns out its only a Kindle sample: I didn't delve too deeply. Still you can see the maps, and the *cough* artifact.

[Pokonic]

A Afternoons Delight

The BDSUR Guild ( Babes, Dominate, Sorcerers, and Use Rope)


The Shapeshifting Gentlewomen

[Rubik]

Mr. McBearFist's Animal House
When you want to take a walk on the wild shape side

[Zubrowka74]

Still you can see the maps, and the *cough* artifact.

How is an artifact only +2 is beyond me.

[Particle_Man]

The Blue Oyster. :smallbiggrin:

[katiesaur]

I've always been partial to: The Spotted ****

"When you go to The Spotted ****, you leave with one!"

Also,
The Gaudy Bawdy
The Pickled Pecker

[Snowbluff]

I've always been partial to: The Spotted ****

"When you go to The Spotted ****, you leave with one!"

Also,
The Gaudy Bawdy
The Pickled Pecker

"Spotted D (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_****)? How about next thursday?! GWAHAHEHEHE"

[Pokonic]

Of course, there is always the legendary Adventure House, where every day it is Adventure Time.

[Dr.Orpheus]

In a port town it could be called "The Loose Rudder".

[nedz]

In a port town it could be called "The Loose Rudder".

Oooh a port town, that gives me some ideas:

The Rusty Rollocks
The Wandering Tiller
The Able Seamen
Steppin the Mast
The Wayward Bouy
The Fish Net Inn
...

[Pokonic]

In a port town it could be called "The Loose Rudder".

You've missed the chance for "The Glorious Booty".

[Jodah]

In the current line of things "Precious Booty (http://hongfire.com/cg/data/25/Pirate1.swf)" (has volume)

My first thought for steampunk "Grind Your Gears"

[Socratov]

for steampunk: "Hydraulics Testing Facility", "The Salty Transmission", "Lubrication Station"