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DrBurr
2012-05-10, 11:46 AM
I'm not sure if this is really a problem or me imagining one but let me get the background out of the way first.

My D&D group has been meeting almost weekly for the last 2 years, typically I'm the Dungeon Master because I formed the group and have held the position the longest. When our group I has 5 players;My brother, our two of our best friends Will and Walt, and our other friends Tom and John. We had fun figuring out the game as we went with plenty of inaccurate rulings and shenanigans. Now our group is built on a very critical friendship we are all willing to be direct and harsh with each other if need be and we've all taken the brunt of each other criticisms and either adapted from it or just shrugged it off.

After roughly 5 months of DMing my group I decided to step down from DMing a let my friend Will get a go at it, he did well though I was very critical of some aspects of the adventure but he just took it as a typical conversation we'd have. Will had to step down when he had to go back to his University so my Brother DMed next, his campaign lasted about 6 months and we retired our characters afterwards, We we're all critical of things we liked and disliked and he adapted as things continued. After 8 months of being benched I resumed my spot until a couple weeks ago, where I would let Walt run a campaign he had been working on.

I assisted him as best I could letting him borrow any of our books, suggesting him programs to cut down on prep and he took some of my advice and I was fine with that, I didn't want to oppress his own ideas or be overbearing. So 2 weeks ago we sat down and played the first session and we all had a blast as we traversed an interesting maze searching for our lost equipment and I was looking forward to the second session. Last week when I asked him if their would be a session that week so I could tell everyone, he told me no and said he just wanted to hang out that Friday and play a couple board games, some munchkin and what-not. I thought this was fine, it was his first campaign so he might need some more time to plan like I often needed too, so we hung out last Friday and had a good time. Which brings me to this week, I sent him a text on Monday like a usually do and got no response, on Wednesday I finally got a hold of him and asked him if we'd be playing his campaign on Friday he kind seemed mopy and agreed to do a small part of his campaign but mostly wanted to just hangout again.

Now I've already decided to wait a couple weeks to see how this develops, but how should I handle this if his apathy to his own campaign continues? And what could be causing this sudden apathy, I don't quite remember saying anything critical to him on his DMing or the adventure.

Toliudar
2012-05-10, 11:52 AM
It's great that your group can be direct and honest with each other. Time for a reality check. First with yourself, and then with Will.

Do you want to climb back into the DM chair? Or more to the point, are you willing to if Will has had a change of heart about running his campaign?

Then a quick and friendly chat with Will, telling him how much you're looking forward to playing, but asking if he's still up for DM'ing. Perhaps offering to step back in if he's finding that - either for reasons of his own enthusiasm for the idea, because of other commitments, whatever - he doesn't want to do it.

Gamer Girl
2012-05-10, 02:51 PM
So 2 weeks ago we sat down and played the first session and we all had a blast as we traversed an interesting maze searching for our lost equipment and I was looking forward to the second session.

Are you sure Wil had fun? Not everyone likes to be the person in control/the host/the master of ceremony. After all, Dming is a lot of work...and you have to make sure that everyone else is having fun(And sometimes not have fun yourself doing so).

And being a Dm is tricky. It looks easy....the DM 'just sits there' and 'everyone magically has fun'......but it's not quite that easy.

You might want to ask him about it.

DrBurr
2012-05-10, 03:13 PM
It's great that your group can be direct and honest with each other. Time for a reality check. First with yourself, and then with Will.

Do you want to climb back into the DM chair? Or more to the point, are you willing to if Will has had a change of heart about running his campaign?

Then a quick and friendly chat with Will, telling him how much you're looking forward to playing, but asking if he's still up for DM'ing. Perhaps offering to step back in if he's finding that - either for reasons of his own enthusiasm for the idea, because of other commitments, whatever - he doesn't want to do it.


Are you sure Wil had fun? Not everyone likes to be the person in control/the host/the master of ceremony. After all, Dming is a lot of work...and you have to make sure that everyone else is having fun(And sometimes not have fun yourself doing so).

And being a Dm is tricky. It looks easy....the DM 'just sits there' and 'everyone magically has fun'......but it's not quite that easy.

You might want to ask him about it

I am more than willing to retake the seat if I must, though I like to have a break from time to time If my friend doesn't like DMing I will change my plans to accommodate him, The main problem is only see them once a week and hes never online so it makes having these conversations a hard thing to come by especially if I want to keep them private, I'll try for tomorrow hopefully he just was busy these past few weeks and hasn't lost interest

BTW thanks for your replies

Vladislav
2012-05-10, 04:01 PM
Now our group is built on a very critical friendship we are all willing to be direct and harsh with each other if need be
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....
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how should I handle this if his apathy to his own campaign continues? And what could be causing this sudden apathy, I don't quite remember saying anything critical to him on his DMing or the adventure.

It seems to be the answer is contained within the question. Just talk to him, pointedly and directly.

Lord Vampyre
2012-05-10, 04:45 PM
It sometimes happens that DMs (especially new DMs) will start off with a great idea, but end up working themselves into a corner. My advise would be for you to offer to run a game, unless he wants to run.

W3bDragon
2012-05-10, 04:55 PM
It is very typical of people who have never tried DMing to behave in that manner. They would like to try because everyone else has done it. Your friend would have this great idea for a maze-like dungeon crawl that he thinks would work out well. He becomes the DM, runs his awesome maze and everyone has fun. After the euphoria of a good session wears off, he realizes he really doesn't have anything else to run the PCs through.

He hasn't DMed before so he doesn't have fall back plots that most DMs use when they're stuck. He's not motivated enough to search for material to use, neither is he creative enough to make something up. His first session goes well and so he doesn't want to present a mediocre follow up session, but he has no game plan. I suspect this isn't apathy. Its more about him not having good material to run the PCs through and doesn't want to admit he's stuck, so he keeps putting it off.

If I were in your shoes, I'd ask if he doesn't mind that I run a one-shot game next week if he still needs time to prep. If he agrees, then do that. The one-shot game can either become the new campaign, or it can break the pressure on him being at bat so to speak, and someone else can jump in.


Edit: Yeah... Lord Vampyre said it more succinctly. It is what it is.

Xzeno
2012-05-10, 05:39 PM
As others have said, the solution is to address the problem directly by talking to him about it. Which is good, because your group dynamic appears to have the perfect foundation for doing so.

I'd ask him exactly what he wants to DM and why. He might have fun and "learn the ropes" of running a game by doing a one-shot or two, without the daunting responsibility of having to create a full campaign. Something like a compromise.

Offering to fill in for him if he doesn't want to/can't do it is a good idea, but make sure you give him the opportunity to run the game if he wants to. Maybe he doesn't; maybe he enjoyed playing more.

Oracle_Hunter
2012-05-10, 11:34 PM
So 2 weeks ago we sat down and played the first session and we all had a blast as we traversed an interesting maze searching for our lost equipment and I was looking forward to the second session. Last week when I asked him if their would be a session that week so I could tell everyone, he told me no and said he just wanted to hang out that Friday and play a couple board games, some munchkin and what-not. I thought this was fine, it was his first campaign so he might need some more time to plan like I often needed too, so we hung out last Friday and had a good time. Which brings me to this week, I sent him a text on Monday like a usually do and got no response, on Wednesday I finally got a hold of him and asked him if we'd be playing his campaign on Friday he kind seemed mopy and agreed to do a small part of his campaign but mostly wanted to just hangout again.

Now I've already decided to wait a couple weeks to see how this develops, but how should I handle this if his apathy to his own campaign continues? And what could be causing this sudden apathy, I don't quite remember saying anything critical to him on his DMing or the adventure.
Have you asked him why he's been putting off the next phase of the game yet? :smallconfused:

If not, please do. Opening a conversation with the other person is the best way to get to the bottom of these sorts of things. Off-hand, it could be he found DMing too much work and yet feels compelled to finish it up. If so, it'd be better to tell him that it is OK if you never have another session and that you can do something else until he feels like running the next one. Note that he may never run another session but at least he'd stop feeling so put upon.

N.B. The above is still conjecture. Talk to the man about the situation and let us know what he says.

Rallicus
2012-05-11, 12:28 AM
Probably a good idea that you're leaving it alone for a few weeks. Give him some breathing room. Even if you're only talking to him once a week at best, there's nothing more annoying than a player who continually asks when the next session will be.

I was one of these players as a kid. We didn't play DnD much, but I'd occasionally pester my DM to run campaigns for us. More often than not he'd sigh and agree, and the amazingly fun sessions would not only put added pressure on him (to maintain a good campaign), but it'd make me more excited to play and, in turn, pester him more. I single-handedly turned him away from tabletop games. The last time I asked him to DM he said, in essence: "No. I'm burning all my books, we're never playing again."

We were 10 and 11 years old, respectively, so the result of your pestering won't be so dramatic.

But consider it from your "apathetic" DM's point:

He's got added pressure now that a really fun session took place.

He might have an ex-DM trying to squeeze in his own ideas of "fun" and "good DMing" under the guise of help (a possibly unwarranted judgement on my part, based on your "more than willing[ness]" to take the reigns)
He's being pestered to continue the campaign, despite either a lack of interest, wanting to do something else, or both.

So... you wait it out. He'll either learn to love to DM or he'll realize he's more suited to be a player. I suggest leaving the subject alone entirely, and letting either the other players bring it up or having the DM address the situation when he feels up to it. You've involved yourself enough already.

And honestly, you can always just create a side-campaign with the same group and you DMing if you really need your fix.

DrBurr
2012-05-12, 10:02 AM
So this has been resolved, when I got to his house Yesterday he seemed eager to play his campaign and talked about a couple things he was planning, chances are he just needed that extra week to prep and when I spoke to him earlier this week he was just in a bad mood. Sadly we couldn't play though because John got called to work a double shift when his job got understaffed but next should be good.

Thanks for all your Replies