LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup - with 24 different vitamins!

[Astrella]

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the thread for the discussion, celebration and support of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Asexual, Allied, and Queer individuals!

Here's the in-thread rules!

No adult sexual content. It's against site rules.
Let's keep things as A-political as possible.
Similarly, try to leave religion out of it.
NO discussing if LGBTAetc. is "good" or "right" for the above reasons, mostly.
Everyone is welcome. L, G, B,T, A, Q, A, N, V, P, R, Q, Ω, ♅, everyone. As long as they behave themselves.


If you have a question or two about LGBTA+, you can ask it here! You can ask for advice and support in here.

In addition, many members are willing to give private advice one on one, either through email or PM. The best ways to do this are initiating the PM, or asking for PM help in thread.

Previous threads, because archives are important.


LGBT people in the playground (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62225)

LGBT people in the playground - part II (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86066)

LGBTitp - part III (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=5663140#post5663140)

LGBTitp 4: We are a family? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129235)

LGBTitp - Part Five (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=143424)

LGBTitp - Part Six (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=147832)

LGBTitp - Part Seven (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=157312)

LGBTitp - Part Eight (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=167395)

LGBTitp - Part Nine (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=172747)

LGBTAitp - Part Ten (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=177253)

LGBTAitp - Part Eleven (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=181683)

LGBTAitp - Part Twelve (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=10335967#)

LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=192714)

LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=200329)

LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=207987)

LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=11820872#)

LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=219966)

LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=223792)

LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=227182)

LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=12613347)

LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=233833)

LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=236828)

LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=239610)


And the community's previously posted list of Thousand&Wordster Dictionary of Commonly Used LGBTAitP Words and Phrases, originally scribed by AThousandWords (now Qaera) and added to thereafter.
Lagerbeta: A fine brewski to be drunk by queers and allies.
LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*
Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender
LGBTA: LGBT+Asexual/Allies
QUILTBAG:Q - Queer and Questioning
U - Unidentified
I - Intersex
L - Lesbian
T - Transgender, Transexual
B - Bisexual
A - Asexual
G - Gay, Genderqueer

Allies: Straight people that support equality for sexuality and gender minorities.
MtF: Male-to-Female: A woman born with male nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans woman)
FtM: Female-to-Male: A man born with female nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans man)
GQ: Genderqueer.
CS: Cis-sexual: sex and gender match (a male with male nibblies, a female with female nibblies.
TS: Transsexual: Sex and gender disparity.
HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's take more progestrogens and oestrogens and FtM's take more testosterone (I think?)
SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa depending on direction. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.
FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Plastic surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Not very common.

Man: A cisman or transman. Male.
Woman: A ciswoman or transwoman. Female.
Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.
Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between male and female.
Agendered: Someone who feels neither male nor female.
Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa.
Masculine: Something generally associated with men.
Feminine: Something generally associated with women.

Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.
Gay: A man who is attracted to men.
Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their gender.
Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to both male and female people.
Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender.
Asexual: A person who does not feel any/some sexual attraction.
Demisexual: A person who is only sexually attracted to someone(s) they have formed an intense emotional relationship with.
Androsexual: A person (of any gender identity) who is sexually attracted to the male-bodied form.
Gynosexual: A person (of any gender identity) who is sexually attracted to the female-bodied form
Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.
Radosexual: A person who is only attracted to rad people.
Pomosexual: A person who avoids SO labels.

Sexual Orientation: How one identifies who they are attracted to. (SO)
Gender Identity: How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other". (GI)
Gender Expression: How one expresses their GI to society. (GE)
Significant Other(s): Person you are in a relationship with. (SO)

[Arachu]

That was fast. :O

*Barely manages to catch up and grab one of the thread's loading rails with both arms* (Because, you know, the thread's sort of like a train, only... Er... Words. :yawn:)

:smalltongue:


~Bianca

[Astrella]

An interview with an openly intersex Mayor from Australia. (http://inter-actyouth.tumblr.com/post/23111150510/second-wave-interview-series-vol-2-shana-tony)

[Qaera]

Hey guys ;););)

Smocches all of yas

I liek the new tread already

~ ♅

[MartytheBioGuy]

Hey playground! I haven't been here in a while (less than a year, but more than 6 months), and since then, I have come out as bi to my fiancée (who is also bi), my little brother (who I am closer to than much of my family), a few select and awesome friends, and another online community. I figured I owed it to my precious playground to be honest with them. So here you go: I find members of both sexes beautiful and moreover sexually attractive. Ha! Out! So yeah, stay awesome, people. And feel free to talk to me about stuff. My current internet usage is limited (I'm on a study tour) but talk to me if you don't mind a wait!

[Mina Kobold]

Mmm, new thread. ^w^

*curls thread into ball and plays*

Meow! :3

PS: Many greetings, Marty! Welcome to the thread of threadyness and all things LGBTA+! Hope you will not be eaten by the Moon-Beast we keep in the closet! :smallsmile:

Also, I remember you! I stole a pair of Magpie wings from you! ^_^

[MartytheBioGuy]

Oh boy. I detect a pleasant plethora of inside jokes. I'm excited to make it into the out crowd! :smallbiggrin:

And yeah. I may or may not be sleeping in the basement of a church directly facing a cute boy. Theatre study tour does weird things. I'm not out to said boy, and he seems like he might be straight, but he noted as his favorite a particular joke from the show [title of show] today which may be familiar to many as the "spaghetti joke." And I took a second and appreciated that he may in fact also be somewhere on our happy little spectrum. Because dang the boy is cute. I mean, I'm in a committed relationship and would never cheat with either gender, but yeah. I'm not blind. Plus, I may want to in the future set up a particular friend with said boy. And I'm talking a lot. Which I'm known for. Whatever.

[Lord_Gareth]

Posting to get subscription ^_^

[Rawhide]

Posting to get subscription ^_^

Please don't do this. Use "Thread Tools" to subscribe to a thread.

[Arachu]

*Welcomehugs MartytheBioGuy and UserClone~* :smallbiggrin:


Posting to get subscription ^_^

You can also do that in the little box marked "Thread Tools" under the page list at the top-right corner of the page. :smallsmile:


~Bianca

[Killer Angel]

(a little rant)

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia!

...right. I understand the symbolism behind a single date, but what about making a real habit of it, instead of "relegating" it to a single day? :smallsigh:

[MartytheBioGuy]

I think that's a problem with a lot of these "days" that are so significant. We should live aware and loving lives, not aware and loving days. Earth day is a scary one on this. What planet are we supposed to take care of for the rest of the year?? And especially in issues where people feel hated and ignored to the point that this issue does, we need to move away from a "special cause" mentality and think of this far more as a cultural norm in need of change.

[UserClone]

In case anyone missed it on the last thread, I'm stilling looking for feedback on this. :smallsmile:


Hey there, folks! I understand that this thread is under FB, but if there are any gamers in it (and I strongly suspect there are), please allow me to invite you to read and/or comment in the linked thread (or just PM me if you don't feel like signing up for another forum) regarding my idea for a game/world in which preturnaturally powerful people are all of varying sexual nonconformity to the cisgender/heterosexual sterotype.

In a more concise, tongue-in-cheek fashion, what I'm suggesting is that superheroes are gay (http://story-games.com/forums/comments.php?DiscussionID=16519&page=1).

[Morph Bark]

(a little rant)

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia!

I find it kind of funny that this coincides with the Ascension of Jesus this year. Heavenly support? :smallbiggrin:

[KenderWizard]

I think having a day is useful as an early tool. For people who could be allies but need more awareness-raising. It's not going to work on its own, but it shows we're working on it.


Oh, and from the last thread? Wearing the superhero cape to the bathroom is easy; without taking it off you sling the end over one shoulder. Then as you stride heroically out of the stall, you sweep it back and it unfurls. That's what I do, anyway. :smallwink:



Hey playground! I haven't been here in a while (less than a year, but more than 6 months), and since then, I have come out as bi to my fiancée (who is also bi), my little brother (who I am closer to than much of my family), a few select and awesome friends, and another online community. I figured I owed it to my precious playground to be honest with them. So here you go: I find members of both sexes beautiful and moreover sexually attractive. Ha! Out! So yeah, stay awesome, people. And feel free to talk to me about stuff. My current internet usage is limited (I'm on a study tour) but talk to me if you don't mind a wait!

Hello Marty!

[Killer Angel]

I think having a day is useful as an early tool. For people who could be allies but need more awareness-raising. It's not going to work on its own, but it shows we're working on it.


That I know, but I don't know if it can really be useful or if it's perceived more as "oh, it's that day again? booooring".
It's kinda like the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. I'm happy there is such a day, but the recorded cases of violence are increasing. Or, to say it better, the number of women that ask for help is increasing, which is good, but we must say thank to a work of propaganda done with less "rumor", during 365 day/year, rather than to that single day.

Edit: But probably that's only me, and the way I see most of those "international days".

Edit 2: I also understand that many of my issues, are related to the hypocrisy shown by many politicians on the matter, during the week of the Day, compared to their behavior during the rest of the year. Hence my rant about its effective "usefulness". But I won't indulge on this, for obvious reasons...

[turkishproverb]

Hey playground! I haven't been here in a while (less than a year, but more than 6 months), and since then, I have come out as bi to my fiancée (who is also bi), my little brother (who I am closer to than much of my family), a few select and awesome friends, and another online community. I figured I owed it to my precious playground to be honest with them. So here you go: I find members of both sexes beautiful and moreover sexually attractive. Ha! Out! So yeah, stay awesome, people. And feel free to talk to me about stuff. My current internet usage is limited (I'm on a study tour) but talk to me if you don't mind a wait!

Hi! Congrats!


(a little rant)

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia!

...right. I understand the symbolism behind a single date, but what about making a real habit of it, instead of "relegating" it to a single day? :smallsigh:

Fair point.


In case anyone missed it on the last thread, I'm stilling looking for feedback on this. :smallsmile:

I'll look into it when I get a chance.


New thread!

*hugs*

[Reluctance]

Userclone: Look up the history of many actual superhero brands. Especially look into the artists behind them. There are lots of coded messages that weren't fully ready to be made plain to the public. Although nerd reactions nowadays to anybody falling outside of the normative spectrum are funny at best.

Killer Angel: If you really want to rage, see how many people at gay pride parades/rallies are actually gay. They've become hip places to be seen if you're straight.

Still, it's an outrage exhaustion sort of thing. Are you fully committed, day after day, to the plight of child soldiers? To the realities of abandoned animals? To the rapid loss of native cultures and their environments? Insisting that everybody else put their interests aside for your pet issue is kinda shortsighted. Insisting that everybody do the same for a whole set of issues is wildly unrealistic.

The best you can do is establish useful tools for nudging the cultural dialogue in the way you want. Unfortunately, all the examples I can think of are political, from a certain Will and Grace name-drop all the way to some rather infuriating legislative actions.

Marty: Welcome aboard. And remember the principle rule of entering the club. Be a good example so future generations will be treated no differently than anyone else. I hope responses when you came out were similarly no big deal.

[SMEE]

For several reasons, the anonymous mailer has been taken down. I apologize to those who feel the need to send a message anonymously, but this service won't be coming back.
Edit: I have removed the link from the first post, as the service is no longer active.

[MartytheBioGuy]

Marty: Welcome aboard. And remember the principle rule of entering the club. Be a good example so future generations will be treated no differently than anyone else. I hope responses when you came out were similarly no big deal.

I appreciate this a lot. Most of the times I came out have been such. I'm still in the closet to quite a few people, most notably the majority of my family, who would not react as favorably as my little brother did, and a lot of people at my school. As a person seeking employment in parochial schools of a traditionally conservative denomination of Christianity, I don't know how well my orientation would go over in terms of being hired. It's a sad but true state of things.

However, as it is appropriate, I plan to use my experiences as a person outside of the "norm" to help any of my students who are in need, and love the motto you've set forth.

[Mystic Muse]

For several reasons, the anonymous mailer has been taken down. I apologize to those who feel the need to send a message anonymously, but this service won't be coming back.
Edit: I have removed the link from the first post, as the service is no longer active.

Sorry to hear this.:smallfrown:

[golentan]

Sorry to hear this.:smallfrown:

As am I. No chance we could set up our own?

[Rawhide]

As am I. No chance we could set up our own?

A long time ago, all the anonymous mailer threads had to be shut down due to abuse and other reasons. This one only remained in a large part because a moderator was taking care of it.

With SMEE now deciding that it was necessary to take it down, I don't believe any replacement ones would be allowed.

[bluewind95]

THat's pretty sad... :smallfrown:

In other news, I would still like to answer to some things from the other thread, but I've been having technical difficulties, and haven't really had the energy to construct replies. I'll try to do that soon enough.

[Lea Plath]

In place of the mailer, maybe a few of us can volunteer for questions?

[KenderWizard]

That I know, but I don't know if it can really be useful or if it's perceived more as "oh, it's that day again? booooring".
It's kinda like the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. I'm happy there is such a day, but the recorded cases of violence are increasing. Or, to say it better, the number of women that ask for help is increasing, which is good, but we must say thank to a work of propaganda done with less "rumor", during 365 day/year, rather than to that single day.

Edit: But probably that's only me, and the way I see most of those "international days".

Edit 2: I also understand that many of my issues, are related to the hypocrisy shown by many politicians on the matter, during the week of the Day, compared to their behavior during the rest of the year. Hence my rant about its effective "usefulness". But I won't indulge on this, for obvious reasons...

Well, hard to say. For all we know, violence against women could increase at a higher rate without awareness raising campaigns such as the International Day. But they are near-useless in isolation.


In place of the mailer, maybe a few of us can volunteer for questions?

We could do something like put "PM box open for LGBTA concerns" in our signature ... y'know, if that's true. Would we be allowed to say "This person contacted me via PM but doesn't want to be generally known, they wanted to ask the thread this question..." or would that be against the spirit of taking down the anonymous mailer?

[Carecalmo]

Hello, new thread! *hugs tightly*

Rant time? Rant time.
It is a rant about me having strange dreams and what I learn from them.

Bleh. I just woke up from what was supposed to be a good night's sleep. It turned into a bad day's sleep as well. Aside from the three or so hours I've been awake today, I think I've slept.. Seventeen hours?! (don't worry - it is a dangerous sign, but I have it *somewhat* under control. Sometimes, missing a day of my medication is just literally missing a day.)

Thing is, through years of recording my awesome action super gay hero romance dreams, I have lost the ability to sleep and forget. So I spent the past many hours pulling barbed wire out of my mouth. Unpleasant to not wake up from, but a message about the situation being unhealthy. I woke up with a very dry tongue.

But I also dreamt of other things. There were seven volleyball courts in different colours. Seven heroes with matching superpowers (in matching colours).
Moon-Glory. Secret White. FireBlaster. Green. My old friend Niels (in the shape of his drag persona Madame Midnight Plum). And others, but some were not really appropriate for a safe work environment.

I was all of them. And I was also myself. We fought the Doom-Bringer across five different universes. Had been granted the powers to stop It by the Anti-Foe, who helped us build giant simulacra of the Doom-Bringer in order to train against him.
But we lost. In every universe, we lost the battle, and the world. Because I was all of them and none of them. Nobody worked as a team in the end.
This is the "I date too much" dream. A thought that I have felt stirring for a few days, now shoved into the light of conscious day. It is also about how I feel the need for someone to take care of me. And they need to have the superpower 'caring'. It is too tiring to be independent and having loose morals and feeling attractive. Sometimes you need an unconditional shoulder to cry on. Fall asleep leaning against. Drool on in carefree dreams. You know the drill.

The last dream I can tell you about right now was about my ex-boyfriend.
Or rather, it was about how I was kissing somebody (whose armoured car I had previously wrecked with my bare hands to show that being too careful is a bad thing.) and then a mutual friend of me and the ex suddenly shows up and starts joining the kiss. He does that because I have been picking up on subtle clues and reading secret signs that he and my ex are starting to see each other. I cannot know this, of course, but it has started some thoughts that I had been ignoring until now.
So. Yeah. Not really thrilled at the idea. Mainly, I think, it is because it is a mutual friend and I am nervous that they will hide the relationship to "spare me" and in that way ruin friendships. The very fact that I kind of suspect them of hiding it doesn't help me stop picking up fake clues, of course. The best thing will be to talk to one of them about it, I think.

SO.
What have I learned today?
I should take better care of my body! Sleeping for that long is not healthy - and my dreams are not afraid of telling me that.
Tieing into that is: I really need to remember my medication (antidepressants). Even though being forced to analyze the weird mind-stuff is okay for making me discover things, it isn't a healthy way of doing it.

I really need to reconsider this "kiss ALL the men" routine. It is more taxing than I have been letting on. Has made me feel a bit hollow, and a bit too unsupported (after all, when you choose dates over friends, friends will choose friends over you). Also, I am afraid that if I do not meet the guy with the right superpower, our universe will be destroyed.

I should talk to my ex about our mutual friend. But first, I should try and get a level-headed take on my feelings and these "clues" I have been picking up on.

Okay. End of rant.

Now. Hello, Userclone and Marty! Do not fear the inside jokes, the wild things or yourself. Love. And be welcome.


In case anyone missed it on the last thread, I'm stilling looking for feedback on this. :smallsmile:

I think it is extremely interesting!
One thing you will have to consider, pretty much no matter how you tie superpower and non-conformism together, is that the superpowered villains will be LBGTAQ too! Which I like. For one, if the Shadow Kyriarch of the Grim Council has a secret power of mind control, his entire reason for being evil and hating of superheroes ties into deep psychological issues.
For two(?), it also makes everything more volatile and more (in-game) political when it comes to that world's discussion of gay rights, super power registration and cultural values.

As for special days.. I usually sleep them away. I like the idea though!

And now it is Thursday night and I am going dancing. It is not so difficult as dating, but more fun! Take care.

[Asta Kask]

*decloaks*

http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/02/mind-reading-neuroscientist-v-s-ramachandran-on-unlearning-pain/

Ramachandran's latest book may contain a section on transgenderism. The last two question are on that topic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjauW9-QKBY

And a Youtube video about transgenderism and neurology.

*cloaks*

[supernerd]

Hey playground! I haven't been here in a while (less than a year, but more than 6 months), and since then, I have come out as bi to my fiancée (who is also bi), my little brother (who I am closer to than much of my family), a few select and awesome friends, and another online community. I figured I owed it to my precious playground to be honest with them. So here you go: I find members of both sexes beautiful and moreover sexually attractive. Ha! Out! So yeah, stay awesome, people. And feel free to talk to me about stuff. My current internet usage is limited (I'm on a study tour) but talk to me if you don't mind a wait!


Oh boy. I detect a pleasant plethora of inside jokes. I'm excited to make it into the out crowd! :smallbiggrin:

And yeah. I may or may not be sleeping in the basement of a church directly facing a cute boy. Theatre study tour does weird things. I'm not out to said boy, and he seems like he might be straight, but he noted as his favorite a particular joke from the show [title of show] today which may be familiar to many as the "spaghetti joke." And I took a second and appreciated that he may in fact also be somewhere on our happy little spectrum. Because dang the boy is cute. I mean, I'm in a committed relationship and would never cheat with either gender, but yeah. I'm not blind. Plus, I may want to in the future set up a particular friend with said boy. And I'm talking a lot. Which I'm known for. Whatever.

Marty, you seem rather awesome. Welcome to this wonderful land of all things rainbow.


*decloaks*

http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/02/mind-reading-neuroscientist-v-s-ramachandran-on-unlearning-pain/

Ramachandran's latest book may contain a section on transgenderism. The last two question are on that topic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjauW9-QKBY

And a Youtube video about transgenderism and neurology.

*cloaks*

Oh no you don't! *hurls tracking device*

[golentan]

Gah, suddenly really want a guy to hook up with.

Stupid sexuality jumping all over the place.

[MartytheBioGuy]

Glgh. I know that feel. Especially because now I'm away from my fiancee. We're a pretty touch-y couple, and suddenly summer break. :smallfrown: Anyway, she's in Idaho and I'm currently in Chicago but moving around. And the aforementioned cute boy would be fun to cuddle with. I don't really want to do more than cuddle. But it would be nice.

[golentan]

Yeah. For me it's a monthly or so thing where I spend about three days just going crazy and wishing I could spend the whole day "chewing on a pillow."

And I have occasionally gotten so frustrated I have physically gnawed on the furnishings.

[Killer Angel]

Killer Angel:
(snip)
Still, it's an outrage exhaustion sort of thing. Are you fully committed, day after day, to the plight of child soldiers? To the realities of abandoned animals? To the rapid loss of native cultures and their environments? Insisting that everybody else put their interests aside for your pet issue is kinda shortsighted. Insisting that everybody do the same for a whole set of issues is wildly unrealistic.


There's certainly truth in this, but I believe that sometime, there's more efficacy in doing something little (but often). I've got 2 daughters, so I live my life trying to be an everyday good example for them.
This way, when they'll be grown up, they won't need (as a reminder) any international day against homophobia, or for saving the earth, or for abused women, and so on, 'cause it would already be their way of life.
This is my contribute to improve our world.

[SiuiS]

New thread, new beginnings.

Dive right in? Dive right in.

I've been pansexual for about six months. It's interesting, and frustrating, especially in light of the "you're not bi, you're monogamous" line of thinking. Acutely homophobia before that, entirely out of repression, which dissapeared magically one day.

That's not the fun part though. The fun part was reading a friend's post on being gender fluid so many months ago and having a breakdown - those were all my symptoms! That's a thing? I'm not just making this stuff up? And that was road to travel, believe me.

I'm probably transsexual. I reacted poorly to being "locked in" to my current equipment at age three. I've resented it to the point such equipment dislike making me sexist; hated men for a good while. Even considered SRS at 12-13, but was terribly I'll informed (to the point that I didn't know that cis/trans was a distinction, and have always just considered myself touched). If I knew then what I know now about primary and secondary sexual characteristics, and hormone function and all, I'd probably be a different person entirely today.

And yet... I'm not an activist. I'm pretty big on changing the immediate environment first, and spreading from there. I haven't struggles with anything more severe than being called a white devil in my old neighborhood. And I'm not sure that such a change this late in the game (late, ha! It's only been a quarter century, I've got like four or five of third left!) is worth the upheaval of EVERYTHING I have so far. I'm not resentful of my equipment so much as I would just be happier with a switch. I'm not content as I am, but I am complacent. I don't measure up! I think I should settle for gender fluid, sometimes. Y'know?

Sometimes though, there's that point where I remember how I look, as opposed to how I feel... Those days suck.

-

Caracelmo: I like the way you write. I am glad you could figure out some of your troubles. Maybe I should record my dreams?

I should type faster. Think we hit a new page since I began >>;

[AtlanteanTroll]

There's certainly truth in this, but I believe that sometime, there's more efficacy in doing something little (but often). I've got 2 daughters, so I live my life trying to be an everyday good example for them.
This way, when they'll be grown up, they won't need (as a reminder) any international day against homophobia, or for saving the earth, or for abused women, and so on, 'cause it would already be their way of life.
This is my contribute to improve our world.

Yes, but it will never be everybody's way of life. It's not like it's hurting the cause.

[KenderWizard]

*decloaks*

http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/02/mind-reading-neuroscientist-v-s-ramachandran-on-unlearning-pain/

Ramachandran's latest book may contain a section on transgenderism. The last two question are on that topic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjauW9-QKBY

And a Youtube video about transgenderism and neurology.

*cloaks*

AAAAAASSSSSTTTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I did my viva, and it went really well. Results tomorrow. :smalleek: I'm coping by designing Avengers-themed ballgowns and ... thinking things ... about Thor and Loki ... again. Also, having an Avengers marathon on Sunday. I can't remember the last time I thought hard about anything that wasn't geology/exams/graduation or Avengers.

[Serpentine]

An interview with an openly intersex Mayor from Australia. (http://inter-actyouth.tumblr.com/post/23111150510/second-wave-interview-series-vol-2-shana-tony)We have an openly intersex mayor?
*reads*
Oh hey!
*checks city*
Oh, Melbourne. Pfffft :smalltongue:

[Arachu]

*Hugs everyone, especially those who need hugs*


*decloaks*

http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/02/mind-reading-neuroscientist-v-s-ramachandran-on-unlearning-pain/

Ramachandran's latest book may contain a section on transgenderism. The last two question are on that topic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjauW9-QKBY

And a Youtube video about transgenderism and neurology.

*cloaks*

Asta! :smallbiggrin:
*Attempts to pounceglomp*
*Misses*
*Looks around, confused* o.o


New thread, new beginnings.

Dive right in? Dive right in.

I've been pansexual for about six months. It's interesting, and frustrating, especially in light of the "you're not bi, you're monogamous" line of thinking. Acutely homophobia before that, entirely out of repression, which dissapeared magically one day.

That's not the fun part though. The fun part was reading a friend's post on being gender fluid so many months ago and having a breakdown - those were all my symptoms! That's a thing? I'm not just making this stuff up? And that was road to travel, believe me.

I'm probably transsexual. I reacted poorly to being "locked in" to my current equipment at age three. I've resented it to the point such equipment dislike making me sexist; hated men for a good while. Even considered SRS at 12-13, but was terribly I'll informed (to the point that I didn't know that cis/trans was a distinction, and have always just considered myself touched). If I knew then what I know now about primary and secondary sexual characteristics, and hormone function and all, I'd probably be a different person entirely today.

And yet... I'm not an activist. I'm pretty big on changing the immediate environment first, and spreading from there. I haven't struggles with anything more severe than being called a white devil in my old neighborhood. And I'm not sure that such a change this late in the game (late, ha! It's only been a quarter century, I've got like four or five of third left!) is worth the upheaval of EVERYTHING I have so far. I'm not resentful of my equipment so much as I would just be happier with a switch. I'm not content as I am, but I am complacent. I don't measure up! I think I should settle for gender fluid, sometimes. Y'know?

Sometimes though, there's that point where I remember how I look, as opposed to how I feel... Those days suck.

-

Caracelmo: I like the way you write. I am glad you could figure out some of your troubles. Maybe I should record my dreams?

I should type faster. Think we hit a new page since I began >>;

*Holds tightly* I remember when I realized I was trans... :mitd:
It was confusing enough reconnecting with my own emotions by defeating phantasmagoric personifications of my fears and regrets (it's a very, very long story >.>), but the kicker was finding that androgynous likeness of me floating around.

Up to that point, I knew I was a girl on some level but I didn't fully realize it so I thought I didn't have a gender at all... But, well, it was kind of obvious seeing the unsexed perception of me transforming into a female one in a laser light uterus of peace and realization (that last bit was a color-coding thing). *Shrugs*

Pretty soon my unconscious 'wrote' a simple personality for her, and she proceeded to cheer me up somewhat and more-or-less ease me into fully realizing my gender. She was really delightful, actually... It's kind of sad she re-merged with the rest of me again after. ._.

I had a couple more breakdowns after that (and some particularly horrifying personifications, like that one with the children made of smoke trying to strangle me :smalleek:), but I... Mostly got better over time. Still have a phobia for being in classrooms, led me to thoroughly fail Pre-Calculus. >.>

Right though, right - these days I can finally relax when I sleep. I have to shave for an hour and stay up until 3 first, but it's... Nice. :smallsmile:


I can also be cheerful now - that's cool too~ :smalltongue:


~Bianca

[Selpharia]

Since we're sharing stories about this, I figure I can too. I'll probably ramble though. Apologies. Also, I was an idiot as a kid, and I don't believe any of the stupid, offensive stuff that I once did.


Like Siuis, it took me a long time to understand exactly what I felt. I remeber being uncomfortable with my equipment from a very young age, but it was more an unease than a hatred. I've been informed that I liked dressing up in girly outfits, but I've only seen one picture of myself in one (it's my favorite picture of me. I love tiaras) The earliest I can remember hearing about trans people was in sixth grade (my famly is very Catholic, and my parents never really mentioned it) I really had very little idea of a "mental" gender, gender was to me entirely biological. And of course what I learned was basically that you can't really go "all the way" and get to a perfect mimic of the other gender, so I thought "Why would I want to be stuck as some in between thing?"

I do remember later seeing a parody of a trans person in some dimwitted teen boy movie or other, and being unable to shake the sense of: "Well, that's the right idea, but there are still so many aspects left to fix before you're finished. I remember thinking puberty was really awful, because every new hair was a misery, and I for some reason really wanted the feminine shaped figure instead of the one I had and every day just seemed to take me farther from that.

The last thing is something I still struggle with today. It ultimately took me until the summer of my junior year in college and additional internet to realize "Wait a minute, I'm actually trans, my ideal gender image for myself is female and that's what it means to be so" I'm still not sure if my late epiphany means that I'm not really trans, and am just a lunatic. But when I think about it, I think there's sufficient evidence even when I was unaware of what it meant and/or suppressing it. The other thing is, while I'm mildly bi, I think i lean 80-20 in favor of being attracted to females, and I'm not sure how common that is, if at all for people who are trans.

Of course, the thing that made me decide to look into doing something about it (even if transition would make my ambitions in the very conservative/male field of Chinese security studies highly difficult, was a mental breakdown where I almost offed myself to escape the depression and dysphoria. And now I've ruined the thread mood. Sorry.

I felt the same thing that Bianca mentions, that Laura was, and on occasion is still, much happier than the rest of me.

[SiuiS]

*Holds tightly* I remember when I realized I was trans... :mitd:


~Bianca

^^ *hugs!*


Since we're sharing stories about this, I figure I can too. I'll probably ramble though. Apologies. Also, I was an idiot as a kid, and I don't believe any of the stupid, offensive stuff that I once did.

Truth


ooh, almost identical. That's eerie :smalleek:

I didn't mind puberty though. I'd already decided The powers that be gave me boyflesh for a reason, so I tried to make the best of a bad deal. When I get back to limbo my reincarnation it's is so fired...

[Caustic Soda]

Hello again everyone. *Hugs* for whoever needs or wants them. If you're having trouble with someething in your life, have some more hugs and my best wishes :smallsmile:

@Selpharia: If some people don't realize they're gay/lesbian until they're in their fourties or fifties, why would realising that you're trans sometime in college disqualify you from being trans? I certainly don't get any less gay just becasue it took me a long time to acknowledge.

[MartytheBioGuy]

Would anyone mind if I posted about how I came to understand my identity? I mean, I'm not trans, I don't know that road, but we all seem to be in a share-y mood, and I'd like to be able to get this all off my chest. So we're good?

*WARNING* Stuff is going to get serious. People around these parts aren't accustomed to me being serious. And a lot of factors play into this. Like a lot of things in our lives on the rainbow, life is really complicated. So yeah. There are things of a sensitive nature, and if you want to, we can talk privately.

*WARNING 2* Okay, so this is not, I repeat, NOT a discussion of religion. I've been slapped on the wrist around here before, and to be frank, I'm a very accepting and open person, and I understand the rules of the boards here. That said, some religious context is important for my story. Like, vital, this-wouldn't-make-sense-otherwise important. But do NOT feel like I'm at any time being condemning or judge-y of people of any religious background or lack thereof. Love, man. Love wins.

My dad's a pastor. He's also a person. With a disability that he has trouble coping with. I'd gotten used to as a kid being treated rather poorly by him, he was often neglectful of my feelings and when he did notice me, it was to put me on an impossibly high pedestal for my brains. Of the 7 kids in my family, I've unfortunately been credited with the majority of the brains, which isn't even fair. I was something of a small-town prodigy, but I leveled out fast and hard. Regardless, when I didn't live to stand on that pedestal, things weren't good for me.

Fast forward to the end of 5th grade when I started developing sexually. I developed I guess pretty early, and from a pretty young age I knew that I had a problem. I liked a surprising amount of guys in a way that I was taught was not normal, as much by society as by religion, I'm a small-town Midwesterner, not a lot of queer acceptance in these parts.

My poor young brain was caught up in a very binary state, though, so I immediately assumed that I must be gay, since there was only gay and straight, right? Wrong, young me, so wrong, but you'll figure it out someday. So all through jr. high and high school I lived my life as if I were a deep-closet homo, fawning secretly over cute boys and the male form, and hating myself just as secretly for being so weird. And all the while feeling like my dad would probably literally kill me if he found out. And especially important, dating girls who I was genuinely attracted to but confused about my feelings because I thought I was using them as beards and I couldn't come out to anyone and felt like I must be gay and then relationship things got awkward and things ended badly for me.

And sure enough, while my dad never found out I was "gay," it became apparent to him that I wasn't normal. And in a few isolated incidents, he was physically abusive to me, which he reasoned away as him "toughening me up" to make me a "better man" because I was "too hysterical" and "men don't act that way." He has been very concerned with how much of a man I am for a very long time. It pisses me off, because while I am not a straight man, I am a proud man. I know how masculine I am, I acknowledge who I am, I try my darnedest to be honest with myself, and these are all qualities of a good man!

Anyway, it came with a lot of hard feelings because, since my dad is a pastor, I treated him as an authority on the faith, and if he's going to do what he did because I acted a little less manly than he wanted, what would he do if he found out I wanted relationships with men that he found completely damnable? So I hid more deeply in the closet. Since then I have realized that much of my dad's problems are derived from his own family life growing up where he was taught concretely that disabilities were discrediting and that people who had them were less than normal people. When he found out his sight was going, it terrified him and he didn't want any of his kids to be treated as less, and so he tried to fix anything that could have been a problem in ways that were less than right. He's not a monster, and I fight day and night to love him as best as I can, because he's not the person today that he was then, and while the potential is there, I want to give him every chance to be the best man he can be. After all, I want him to do that for me.

Anyway, feeling worse than ever, I headed off to a private Christian college. The culture there was confusing, because the surface of the waters was pure homophobia, not active or violent, but clear as day. But individually, people voiced supportive opinions and once or twice I felt tempted to tell people.

Then I met the girl. The girl like a lightning bolt who I was all at once very attracted to and not in any confusing way. I wanted to talk to her, to be her friend, to get to know her, to love her, and importantly, to love her in no uncertain physical terms. The story's more complicated than all of that, but accept that for now, maybe the rest later. The point is that I thought I had grown out of it. And for a long time that was enough.

Then a lot of things happened, and between conflicts and confusions with friends, the two of us both admitted to each other privately that we were attracted to the same sex as well. And by now I had gained the tools to properly identify what I am. When I told her I was bi, it was like opening a window in a room on fire to find a large cold pool outside that was just ready to enfold me in its loving waters. She was of course supportive, having already come out to me, and moreover, I was FINALLY able to admit to myself after a lot of confusion what exactly I was. Language is powerful stuff, and actually putting it out there for someone to hear made such a difference.

Later, after a bout with a friend who felt like I couldn't be trusted with his secret (homosexuality), I felt the need to come out to a slightly (though not much) broader audience so that more people understood that I wasn't part of the homophobic culture at my school. It worked, and now things are going quite well for me. My fiancee and I are still hammering out the way we line things up in terms of sexuality and faith, especially since we both plan to work in religious schools, but in general we're doing things out of a motivation that centers on love, real love for everybody, and I think things are going to be alright.

Thanks for sticking through, and goodness I hope the mods don't have a problem with the religious things posted here. They're for context, not discussion, if you want to talk to me about it, do so privately. I don't need more trouble, I'm just trying to tell my story as honestly as I can.


*Incidentally, I came out to the cute boy tonight, mostly just to get a feel for things. He's straight, but supportive, and sensitive to the delicate nature of these things, which in some ways is tough, because those are good qualities, and I really just want to scoot my sleeping bag over next to his and cuddle, but whatever. At least I have a closer friend. Hufflepuff away!

[Killer Angel]

Yes, but it will never be everybody's way of life. It's not like it's hurting the cause.

Fair enough, I suppose... :smallwink:

[Arachu]

Since we're sharing stories about this, I figure I can too. I'll probably ramble though. Apologies. Also, I was an idiot as a kid, and I don't believe any of the stupid, offensive stuff that I once did.


Like Siuis, it took me a long time to understand exactly what I felt. I remeber being uncomfortable with my equipment from a very young age, but it was more an unease than a hatred. I've been informed that I liked dressing up in girly outfits, but I've only seen one picture of myself in one (it's my favorite picture of me. I love tiaras) The earliest I can remember hearing about trans people was in sixth grade (my famly is very Catholic, and my parents never really mentioned it) I really had very little idea of a "mental" gender, gender was to me entirely biological. And of course what I learned was basically that you can't really go "all the way" and get to a perfect mimic of the other gender, so I thought "Why would I want to be stuck as some in between thing?"

I do remember later seeing a parody of a trans person in some dimwitted teen boy movie or other, and being unable to shake the sense of: "Well, that's the right idea, but there are still so many aspects left to fix before you're finished. I remember thinking puberty was really awful, because every new hair was a misery, and I for some reason really wanted the feminine shaped figure instead of the one I had and every day just seemed to take me farther from that.

The last thing is something I still struggle with today. It ultimately took me until the summer of my junior year in college and additional internet to realize "Wait a minute, I'm actually trans, my ideal gender image for myself is female and that's what it means to be so" I'm still not sure if my late epiphany means that I'm not really trans, and am just a lunatic. But when I think about it, I think there's sufficient evidence even when I was unaware of what it meant and/or suppressing it. The other thing is, while I'm mildly bi, I think i lean 80-20 in favor of being attracted to females, and I'm not sure how common that is, if at all for people who are trans.

Of course, the thing that made me decide to look into doing something about it (even if transition would make my ambitions in the very conservative/male field of Chinese security studies highly difficult, was a mental breakdown where I almost offed myself to escape the depression and dysphoria. And now I've ruined the thread mood. Sorry.

I felt the same thing that Bianca mentions, that Laura was, and on occasion is still, much happier than the rest of me.



*Hugs* Puberty was... Weird for me. I was uncomfortable with the whole deal too, but I was also pretty unhealthy... I thought that I just wanted to lose weight. Well, I was also a hypochondriac... Pretty sure that was from dysphoria and how often I got sick prior to puberty. >.>

*Cough* Right though, while I was admittedly quite femmephobic (I'm actually sort of proud about that, though - if I'd listened to my parents more, I could've ended up an outright misogynist :smallyuk:) I didn't really care how 'feminine' I was - I liked my high-pitched voice. I wore my jackets like skirts... I wasn't even insulted when people tried to make fun of me by calling me a girl.

I was also standing up for homosexuals (and by extension bisexuals) and later transsexuals as early as sixth grade. I thought I was straight and cis, but I didn't see anything wrong with people harmlessly doing what makes them happy. I was an idiot back then, but... Well, maybe I wasn't after all. That's kind of comforting. :smallsmile:

I'm pretty sure there are a lot of gay/lesbian/bi transpeople. There are also asexuals if I'm not mistaken. Gender's totally different than sexuality, even if they do tend to overlap quite a bit.

Also, what Caustic said. The classic narrative of the frustrated child who already knew their gender and avoided the expected expression like the plague happens with some people, but some of us take a while to realize it. If you say you're a girl, it's good enough for us. :smallsmile:

My own proportion's probably about 70/30 (favoring women/feminity, +/- a good 15 or so to account for androgyny :3).

... My equipment preference is closer to 65/35 favoring male, though~ n.n


If that sounded a little rambly, it's because I drank at least one too many sodas today and I've lost enough weight for the caffeine to actually affect me and give me a bit of a headache. @_@


Would anyone mind if I posted about how I came to understand my identity? I mean, I'm not trans, I don't know that road, but we all seem to be in a share-y mood, and I'd like to be able to get this all off my chest. So we're good?

*WARNING* Stuff is going to get serious. People around these parts aren't accustomed to me being serious. And a lot of factors play into this. Like a lot of things in our lives on the rainbow, life is really complicated. So yeah. There are things of a sensitive nature, and if you want to, we can talk privately.

*WARNING 2* Okay, so this is not, I repeat, NOT a discussion of religion. I've been slapped on the wrist around here before, and to be frank, I'm a very accepting and open person, and I understand the rules of the boards here. That said, some religious context is important for my story. Like, vital, this-wouldn't-make-sense-otherwise important. But do NOT feel like I'm at any time being condemning or judge-y of people of any religious background or lack thereof. Love, man. Love wins.

My dad's a pastor. He's also a person. With a disability that he has trouble coping with. I'd gotten used to as a kid being treated rather poorly by him, he was often neglectful of my feelings and when he did notice me, it was to put me on an impossibly high pedestal for my brains. Of the 7 kids in my family, I've unfortunately been credited with the majority of the brains, which isn't even fair. I was something of a small-town prodigy, but I leveled out fast and hard. Regardless, when I didn't live to stand on that pedestal, things weren't good for me.

Fast forward to the end of 5th grade when I started developing sexually. I developed I guess pretty early, and from a pretty young age I knew that I had a problem. I liked a surprising amount of guys in a way that I was taught was not normal, as much by society as by religion, I'm a small-town Midwesterner, not a lot of queer acceptance in these parts.

My poor young brain was caught up in a very binary state, though, so I immediately assumed that I must be gay, since there was only gay and straight, right? Wrong, young me, so wrong, but you'll figure it out someday. So all through jr. high and high school I lived my life as if I were a deep-closet homo, fawning secretly over cute boys and the male form, and hating myself just as secretly for being so weird. And all the while feeling like my dad would probably literally kill me if he found out. And especially important, dating girls who I was genuinely attracted to but confused about my feelings because I thought I was using them as beards and I couldn't come out to anyone and felt like I must be gay and then relationship things got awkward and things ended badly for me.

And sure enough, while my dad never found out I was "gay," it became apparent to him that I wasn't normal. And in a few isolated incidents, he was physically abusive to me, which he reasoned away as him "toughening me up" to make me a "better man" because I was "too hysterical" and "men don't act that way." He has been very concerned with how much of a man I am for a very long time. It pisses me off, because while I am not a straight man, I am a proud man. I know how masculine I am, I acknowledge who I am, I try my darnedest to be honest with myself, and these are all qualities of a good man!

Anyway, it came with a lot of hard feelings because, since my dad is a pastor, I treated him as an authority on the faith, and if he's going to do what he did because I acted a little less manly than he wanted, what would he do if he found out I wanted relationships with men that he found completely damnable? So I hid more deeply in the closet. Since then I have realized that much of my dad's problems are derived from his own family life growing up where he was taught concretely that disabilities were discrediting and that people who had them were less than normal people. When he found out his sight was going, it terrified him and he didn't want any of his kids to be treated as less, and so he tried to fix anything that could have been a problem in ways that were less than right. He's not a monster, and I fight day and night to love him as best as I can, because he's not the person today that he was then, and while the potential is there, I want to give him every chance to be the best man he can be. After all, I want him to do that for me.

Anyway, feeling worse than ever, I headed off to a private Christian college. The culture there was confusing, because the surface of the waters was pure homophobia, not active or violent, but clear as day. But individually, people voiced supportive opinions and once or twice I felt tempted to tell people.

Then I met the girl. The girl like a lightning bolt who I was all at once very attracted to and not in any confusing way. I wanted to talk to her, to be her friend, to get to know her, to love her, and importantly, to love her in no uncertain physical terms. The story's more complicated than all of that, but accept that for now, maybe the rest later. The point is that I thought I had grown out of it. And for a long time that was enough.

Then a lot of things happened, and between conflicts and confusions with friends, the two of us both admitted to each other privately that we were attracted to the same sex as well. And by now I had gained the tools to properly identify what I am. When I told her I was bi, it was like opening a window in a room on fire to find a large cold pool outside that was just ready to enfold me in its loving waters. She was of course supportive, having already come out to me, and moreover, I was FINALLY able to admit to myself after a lot of confusion what exactly I was. Language is powerful stuff, and actually putting it out there for someone to hear made such a difference.

Later, after a bout with a friend who felt like I couldn't be trusted with his secret (homosexuality), I felt the need to come out to a slightly (though not much) broader audience so that more people understood that I wasn't part of the homophobic culture at my school. It worked, and now things are going quite well for me. My fiancee and I are still hammering out the way we line things up in terms of sexuality and faith, especially since we both plan to work in religious schools, but in general we're doing things out of a motivation that centers on love, real love for everybody, and I think things are going to be alright.

Thanks for sticking through, and goodness I hope the mods don't have a problem with the religious things posted here. They're for context, not discussion, if you want to talk to me about it, do so privately. I don't need more trouble, I'm just trying to tell my story as honestly as I can.


*Incidentally, I came out to the cute boy tonight, mostly just to get a feel for things. He's straight, but supportive, and sensitive to the delicate nature of these things, which in some ways is tough, because those are good qualities, and I really just want to scoot my sleeping bag over next to his and cuddle, but whatever. At least I have a closer friend. Hufflepuff away!

'Course you can post about your past - I've gotten away with backstory that was barely even related to the 'topic' of the thread. :smalltongue:

*Hugs* My dad used to try to "toughen me up"... Beer-drinking ex-military night-shift-prison-guard. Actually thought it was funny to randomly pinch a five-year-old's leg and pin "him" face-first against the carpet. Still have trouble being within five feet of anyone. >.>

I'm, uh, usually less depressing than that - *More hugs* Glad things turned out well for you~ :smallsmile:


~Bianca

[Lea Plath]

*hugs* Sounds like a fair few people here need them.

[KenderWizard]

Hey, Marty. Your story resonates with me; I had a similar except less scary experience. My parents are accepting people, although it's never come up with my father. He assumes I'm straight because of male partner. I went through phases of thinking I must be a lesbian, then getting confused when I fell for another guy. I never dated or played around with anyone, though, until my current partner. I now can't remember why I couldn't put together that I'm bi! I suppose I must not have properly heard about non-monogender sexuality. It was a relief to have an explanation, an identity that made sense!

[Mono Vertigo]

I currently have problems that are absolutely not related to LGBT issues whatsoever (they're not too serious but they do make me anxious), and I don't have the energy right now to share my own experience, so I'll just do like Lea and hug y'all.
By the way, Lea, congrats for the username change, and very nice avatar! :smallsmile:

[Lady Serpentine]

I'm not really in the best headspace to write more right now (there are some rather noxious comments on a couple of my favorite songs on Youtube at the moment, though I'm not going to link to them, as they're not LGBTA related/would fall under the board ban on discussing religion, and one would be amazed at how angry that can make you, especially when one wishes to use one of them to request a music sketch from someone on here, but can't due to said discussion... :smallmad:), but *hugs to everyone* from me, too.

And, as I realized just now that I didn't actually post anything before, congratulations on your avatar and the official name change, Lea! :smallbiggrin:

[Heliomance]

Please don't do this. Use "Thread Tools" to subscribe to a thread.

That doesn't change the front page icon to a tick, which is what I look for to remind me what threads I'm following, and I imagine other people do too. Could we have a button that will just do that for us?

ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

[Socratov]

That doesn't change the front page icon to a tick, which is what I look for to remind me what threads I'm following, and I imagine other people do too. Could we have a button that will just do that for us?

well, i can understand, but it doesn't really induce conversation either...


ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg
*feels pancreas failing* :smallamused: yes, that is cute :smallbiggrin:

[SiuiS]

I am at a bus stop across from a Walmart. I am suppressing a lot of not-happy responses to the "parenting" going on here. Seems to be today's theme...
Interestingly, a pair of folks, one dressed masculine, one dressed feminine, are arguing with a third party over the phone. The snippet I catch is from the femininely dressed one; "[sic]Nah I don't date girls. But you male now, so..." which was kinda nice.


Would anyone mind if I posted about how I came to understand my identity? I mean, I'm not trans, I don't know that road, but we all seem to be in a share-y mood, and I'd like to be able to get this all off my chest. So we're good?

We're good :smallsmile:

that's interesting. Lot of turmoil, but quite a nice ending. I do hope things are better with your father. That... Didn't sound like it was a good relationship.


Incidentally, I came out to the cute boy tonight, mostly just to get a feel for things. He's straight, but supportive, and sensitive to the delicate nature of these things, which in some ways is tough, because those are good qualities, and I really just want to scoot my sleeping bag over next to his and cuddle, but whatever. At least I have a closer friend. Hufflepuff away!

Well heck, ask him. Sometimes all one needs is a good cuddle, and one of the few touchy feely activities Manly Men get up to do long as no on ever speaks of it again. And if it's acceptable for their stringent requirements, it should be good for you.


*hugs* Sounds like a fair few people here need them.

Yay, hugs!
Also, likd the new Avvy. The pose is neat.



ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

Lovely angle. Well done.
Assuming you on the right; can we get a close up of your nails? I can't telling its a design or the sheen from the light. Jealous you can pull off that color though.
Also, you're pretty.

[Astrella]

*snip*

*hugs*
I'm sorry to hear about the bad dreams; but I think it's good that it has made you realize some things and hopefully this'll lead to a happier Carecalmo. :smallsmile:


*snip*

*hugs*
One thing to consider is; it's never to late to transition; but you have to do what you are comfortable with. Have you tried experimenting a bit with presentation, pronouns and such? Cause small steps are a good way for some people to see how they feel and evaluate stuff. Tons of sympathies.


*snip*

I feel very nervous in class rooms all the time too. *hugs* I just am nervous around large groups of people in general. I think it's probably because of my experiences in primary / secondary school. I subconsciously do a lot to just not get noticed... I walk without making a sound.


*snips*

First of all, *tons of hugs*

You don't have to worry about age or orientation; people figure this out at all ages and trans people's orientations are just as varied as those of cis people. (I've heard numbers along the lines of about 1/3 gay, 1/3 straight, 1/3 bi for trans women circling around on r/transgender...) I guess it's just one of the many ways trans care has failed horribly over the years; with only considering young age / straight / femme trans women as "valid" trans people. (not to speak about practically completely ignoring transmasculine / non-binary folks.) Hmm, what I'm trying to say is; how or when you figured it out does nothing to the validity of your identity; this is something complicated to figure out, especially considering how cissexist our society is by large.
*hugs*


That doesn't change the front page icon to a tick, which is what I look for to remind me what threads I'm following, and I imagine other people do too. Could we have a button that will just do that for us?

ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

:smallredface: Both of you are ridiculously cute.

-----

Hi Asta!

And hello and hugs for Marty. Glad you've managed to figure out quite a bit about yourself.

Some experiences of myself:
Hmm, looking back I guess the first experience of "transness" I remember is me being about 10? Or at least, I remember a really frustrating period of my crying myself to sleep and hoping I'd wake up a girl; and just the whole thing with puberty starting and lockerrooms and bathroom visits and everything being very bleh... I rationalized those feelings away by thinking that it was just a thing that came with puberty, even though I had little reason to believe that. But that was sorta tied with the period that I decided to deal with being bullied and targeted by just being emotionless; I took a lot of pride in not being affected by anything; which scares me these days. That's probably why me admitting transness had such an effect on me emotionally; it felt like I had torn down the dams surrounding me and was awash in all the emotions that they had been keeping out.

[Heliomance]

Lovely angle. Well done.
Assuming you on the right; can we get a close up of your nails? I can't telling its a design or the sheen from the light. Jealous you can pull off that color though.
Also, you're pretty.

What, the MySpace angle? :P

No, it's a solid colour, just reflection from the light. And I've found a rich dark red is one of the easiest nail colours to pull off.

[The Succubus]

That doesn't change the front page icon to a tick, which is what I look for to remind me what threads I'm following, and I imagine other people do too. Could we have a button that will just do that for us?

ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

Oh my. You both look absolutely gorgeous. <3

[KenderWizard]

Some experiences of myself:
Hmm, looking back I guess the first experience of "transness" I remember is me being about 10? Or at least, I remember a really frustrating period of my crying myself to sleep and hoping I'd wake up a girl; and just the whole thing with puberty starting and lockerrooms and bathroom visits and everything being very bleh... I rationalized those feelings away by thinking that it was just a thing that came with puberty, even though I had little reason to believe that. But that was sorta tied with the period that I decided to deal with being bullied and targeted by just being emotionless; I took a lot of pride in not being affected by anything; which scares me these days. That's probably why me admitting transness had such an effect on me emotionally; it felt like I had torn down the dams surrounding me and was awash in all the emotions that they had been keeping out.

I would just like to say that when I read the bolded bit I was confused because you are a girl. Took me a moment to work it out!

[Arachu]

ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

*Collapses*
So adorable... x.x

:smallbiggrin:


I feel very nervous in class rooms all the time too. *hugs* I just am nervous around large groups of people in general. I think it's probably because of my experiences in primary / secondary school. I subconsciously do a lot to just not get noticed... I walk without making a sound.

*Hugs*I think I'm pretty quiet, too... It depends on what kind of surface I'm walking on. (I weigh less than I did in eighth grade, but... Well, still at least 260 lbs. >.>)

In high school, I sort of did this kind of stiff, tall walk that looked almost like I was marching but I didn't raise my legs very high or make very much sound at all. I was also mostly expressionless. That part wasn't intentional, though... It really sucks having to explain that you're actually trying to smile at someone's jokes >.>


Some experiences of myself:
Hmm, looking back I guess the first experience of "transness" I remember is me being about 10? Or at least, I remember a really frustrating period of my crying myself to sleep and hoping I'd wake up a girl; and just the whole thing with puberty starting and lockerrooms and bathroom visits and everything being very bleh... I rationalized those feelings away by thinking that it was just a thing that came with puberty, even though I had little reason to believe that. But that was sorta tied with the period that I decided to deal with being bullied and targeted by just being emotionless; I took a lot of pride in not being affected by anything; which scares me these days. That's probably why me admitting transness had such an effect on me emotionally; it felt like I had torn down the dams surrounding me and was awash in all the emotions that they had been keeping out.

*More hugs*

Kender's right - you already were a girl. ^_^


~Bianca

[Ninja_Grand]

ZOKIES! New OOTS and Thread! GAH! :smalltongue:


Gah, suddenly really want a guy to hook up with.

Stupid sexuality jumping all over the place.
That happens to me all the time. But one a nearly 2 weak scale:smallconfused:.

Would anyone mind if I posted about how I came to understand my identity? I mean, I'm not trans, I don't know that road, but we all seem to be in a share-y mood, and I'd like to be able to get this all off my chest. So we're good?

*WARNING* Stuff is going to get serious. People around these parts aren't accustomed to me being serious. And a lot of factors play into this. Like a lot of things in our lives on the rainbow, life is really complicated. So yeah. There are things of a sensitive nature, and if you want to, we can talk privately.

*WARNING 2* Okay, so this is not, I repeat, NOT a discussion of religion. I've been slapped on the wrist around here before, and to be frank, I'm a very accepting and open person, and I understand the rules of the boards here. That said, some religious context is important for my story. Like, vital, this-wouldn't-make-sense-otherwise important. But do NOT feel like I'm at any time being condemning or judge-y of people of any religious background or lack thereof. Love, man. Love wins.

My dad's a pastor. He's also a person. With a disability that he has trouble coping with. I'd gotten used to as a kid being treated rather poorly by him, he was often neglectful of my feelings and when he did notice me, it was to put me on an impossibly high pedestal for my brains. Of the 7 kids in my family, I've unfortunately been credited with the majority of the brains, which isn't even fair. I was something of a small-town prodigy, but I leveled out fast and hard. Regardless, when I didn't live to stand on that pedestal, things weren't good for me.

Fast forward to the end of 5th grade when I started developing sexually. I developed I guess pretty early, and from a pretty young age I knew that I had a problem. I liked a surprising amount of guys in a way that I was taught was not normal, as much by society as by religion, I'm a small-town Midwesterner, not a lot of queer acceptance in these parts.

My poor young brain was caught up in a very binary state, though, so I immediately assumed that I must be gay, since there was only gay and straight, right? Wrong, young me, so wrong, but you'll figure it out someday. So all through jr. high and high school I lived my life as if I were a deep-closet homo, fawning secretly over cute boys and the male form, and hating myself just as secretly for being so weird. And all the while feeling like my dad would probably literally kill me if he found out. And especially important, dating girls who I was genuinely attracted to but confused about my feelings because I thought I was using them as beards and I couldn't come out to anyone and felt like I must be gay and then relationship things got awkward and things ended badly for me.

And sure enough, while my dad never found out I was "gay," it became apparent to him that I wasn't normal. And in a few isolated incidents, he was physically abusive to me, which he reasoned away as him "toughening me up" to make me a "better man" because I was "too hysterical" and "men don't act that way." He has been very concerned with how much of a man I am for a very long time. It pisses me off, because while I am not a straight man, I am a proud man. I know how masculine I am, I acknowledge who I am, I try my darnedest to be honest with myself, and these are all qualities of a good man!

Anyway, it came with a lot of hard feelings because, since my dad is a pastor, I treated him as an authority on the faith, and if he's going to do what he did because I acted a little less manly than he wanted, what would he do if he found out I wanted relationships with men that he found completely damnable? So I hid more deeply in the closet. Since then I have realized that much of my dad's problems are derived from his own family life growing up where he was taught concretely that disabilities were discrediting and that people who had them were less than normal people. When he found out his sight was going, it terrified him and he didn't want any of his kids to be treated as less, and so he tried to fix anything that could have been a problem in ways that were less than right. He's not a monster, and I fight day and night to love him as best as I can, because he's not the person today that he was then, and while the potential is there, I want to give him every chance to be the best man he can be. After all, I want him to do that for me.

Anyway, feeling worse than ever, I headed off to a private Christian college. The culture there was confusing, because the surface of the waters was pure homophobia, not active or violent, but clear as day. But individually, people voiced supportive opinions and once or twice I felt tempted to tell people.

Then I met the girl. The girl like a lightning bolt who I was all at once very attracted to and not in any confusing way. I wanted to talk to her, to be her friend, to get to know her, to love her, and importantly, to love her in no uncertain physical terms. The story's more complicated than all of that, but accept that for now, maybe the rest later. The point is that I thought I had grown out of it. And for a long time that was enough.

Then a lot of things happened, and between conflicts and confusions with friends, the two of us both admitted to each other privately that we were attracted to the same sex as well. And by now I had gained the tools to properly identify what I am. When I told her I was bi, it was like opening a window in a room on fire to find a large cold pool outside that was just ready to enfold me in its loving waters. She was of course supportive, having already come out to me, and moreover, I was FINALLY able to admit to myself after a lot of confusion what exactly I was. Language is powerful stuff, and actually putting it out there for someone to hear made such a difference.

Later, after a bout with a friend who felt like I couldn't be trusted with his secret (homosexuality), I felt the need to come out to a slightly (though not much) broader audience so that more people understood that I wasn't part of the homophobic culture at my school. It worked, and now things are going quite well for me. My fiancee and I are still hammering out the way we line things up in terms of sexuality and faith, especially since we both plan to work in religious schools, but in general we're doing things out of a motivation that centers on love, real love for everybody, and I think things are going to be alright.

Thanks for sticking through, and goodness I hope the mods don't have a problem with the religious things posted here. They're for context, not discussion, if you want to talk to me about it, do so privately. I don't need more trouble, I'm just trying to tell my story as honestly as I can.


*Incidentally, I came out to the cute boy tonight, mostly just to get a feel for things. He's straight, but supportive, and sensitive to the delicate nature of these things, which in some ways is tough, because those are good qualities, and I really just want to scoot my sleeping bag over next to his and cuddle, but whatever. At least I have a closer friend. Hufflepuff away!
First- YO! Hi!, Ello!, Brohoof!. Welcom!
Second- *Glomp and holds the hug* Your story made me cry a bit but Im glad things are working out.



ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

OH SH--- *Spontaneously combustion form the cute* :smallbiggrin:

You two make a cute couple Asuming you are, dont want to offend. Im just all bleh now.:smalleek:

I dont have much to say of my own. Im a bit boring rite now.

[KingHywel]

I'm just gonna delurk and introduce myself. I'm Hywel, or Tom. I've been lurking for three threads now, and I was beginning to think it was a bit creepy to just watch the conversation without contributing. But now that I'm typing, I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to say. So... hello.

[Arachu]

I'm just gonna delurk and introduce myself. I'm Hywel, or Tom. I've been lurking for three threads now, and I was beginning to think it was a bit creepy to just watch the conversation without contributing. But now that I'm typing, I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to say. So... hello.

*Welcomeglomp!* :smallbiggrin:


~Bianca

[turkishproverb]

I'm just gonna delurk and introduce myself. I'm Hywel, or Tom. I've been lurking for three threads now, and I was beginning to think it was a bit creepy to just watch the conversation without contributing. But now that I'm typing, I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to say. So... hello.

Hi King Hywel! Don't feel bad, lots of us type without adding anything major.

[Oltharius]

I suppose I should post here then, huh? You know, all things considered.


So, I've known that I am transgendered/bisexual for a good while now, since '10, if I recall correctly. Well, when I say that, I mean that's when I first accepted it for what it is. In retrospect, it should have been obvious far sooner than that, from freshman year of high school, in fact. Ironically enough, I first started getting hints of the trans part before the bi part. When I was younger, I'd frequently disappear into my imagination and spend hours just fantasizing about various worlds and adventures and whatnot.

Then, at some point, I started imagining myself as female in these fantasies. I just sort of made flimsy excuses like, "I'm just getting bored of imagining the same thing over and over, so this is a way to spice things up." After all, whenever I added a romantic subplot, my "love interest" was still another girl, so I must be perfectly normal.

And, perhaps, it did start out that way: just something to add a unique element, but it quickly became more than that. I would exclusively imagine myself as a girl. Of course, I came up with another excuse that, "It's all just a continuation of several versions of one story, so it's not like I can just change the main protagonist." However, I couldn't delude myself like that forever and started wondering if there was something more. More however, I still couldn't accept it. If I couldn't delude myself, the least I could do is try to ignore it. After all, at this point, I didn't really know that "transgenderism" was even a thing. Sure, I knew about sex change operations and all that, but I didn't understand the purpose behind them, not really. To me, it was just comic fodder for sitcoms.

It wasn't until after high school that I really started to seriously examine myself. It was also at this point, that I started realizing my bisexuality, something I was far more willing to accept. Due to the online community that I was frequenting (and still am, actually), I came to believe that being bi was "cool," so when I started seeing indications of it in myself, I was all too willing to accept that label. The only real doubt was whether or not I actually was bisexual or just convincing myself I was out of desire. Eventually I realized that it was, indeed, the former, and after determining that, I reexamined my feelings from high school, pondering the implications with a more open mind. This time, I was more accepting and finally admitted to myself that I am a woman, through and through.

I didn't stall too long before telling the internet, and received pretty positive results. Most everyone I talked to either supported me or just didn't care one way or the other. However, I was still too cowardly to tell anyone in my real life. In time, I built up the courage to tell my mom, but that was really it. She did tell Dad about it, but neither of us have actually talked about it to each other. I also ended up telling my sister later. The rest of my family, however, I'm not quite ready to tell. I know I'll have to at some point, especially since I do plan on getting an operation, but for now, I'm just too much of a wuss to say anything. :/


So, that's my story, I guess...

[UserClone]

Welcome, KingHywel!

Not sure if I'm allowed to be part of the welcome wagon since I would be classified as "straight, but not narrow," but hug warmly and love fiercely, so I'm pretty sure that qualifies me. :smallbiggrin:

[Lady Serpentine]

Welcome to both of you! Cookies are on the left, unless somebody moved them. If we still have any, that is. No-one ever seems to bake new ones...


Welcome, KingHywel!

Not sure if I'm allowed to be part of the welcome wagon since I would be classified as "straight, but not narrow," but hug warmly and love fiercely, so I'm pretty sure that qualifies me. :smallbiggrin:

That and a tolerance for high amounts of ambient insanity is pretty much all you need, and the latter is more of a guideline to keep you safe than a rule.

[Arachu]

I suppose I should post here then, huh? You know, all things considered.


So, I've known that I am transgendered/bisexual for a good while now, since '10, if I recall correctly. Well, when I say that, I mean that's when I first accepted it for what it is. In retrospect, it should have been obvious far sooner than that, from freshman year of high school, in fact. Ironically enough, I first started getting hints of the trans part before the bi part. When I was younger, I'd frequently disappear into my imagination and spend hours just fantasizing about various worlds and adventures and whatnot.

Then, at some point, I started imagining myself as female in these fantasies. I just sort of made flimsy excuses like, "I'm just getting bored of imagining the same thing over and over, so this is a way to spice things up." After all, whenever I added a romantic subplot, my "love interest" was still another girl, so I must be perfectly normal.

And, perhaps, it did start out that way: just something to add a unique element, but it quickly became more than that. I would exclusively imagine myself as a girl. Of course, I came up with another excuse that, "It's all just a continuation of several versions of one story, so it's not like I can just change the main protagonist." However, I couldn't delude myself like that forever and started wondering if there was something more. More however, I still couldn't accept it. If I couldn't delude myself, the least I could do is try to ignore it. After all, at this point, I didn't really know that "transgenderism" was even a thing. Sure, I knew about sex change operations and all that, but I didn't understand the purpose behind them, not really. To me, it was just comic fodder for sitcoms.

It wasn't until after high school that I really started to seriously examine myself. It was also at this point, that I started realizing my bisexuality, something I was far more willing to accept. Due to the online community that I was frequenting (and still am, actually), I came to believe that being bi was "cool," so when I started seeing indications of it in myself, I was all too willing to accept that label. The only real doubt was whether or not I actually was bisexual or just convincing myself I was out of desire. Eventually I realized that it was, indeed, the former, and after determining that, I reexamined my feelings from high school, pondering the implications with a more open mind. This time, I was more accepting and finally admitted to myself that I am a woman, through and through.

I didn't stall too long before telling the internet, and received pretty positive results. Most everyone I talked to either supported me or just didn't care one way or the other. However, I was still too cowardly to tell anyone in my real life. In time, I built up the courage to tell my mom, but that was really it. She did tell Dad about it, but neither of us have actually talked about it to each other. I also ended up telling my sister later. The rest of my family, however, I'm not quite ready to tell. I know I'll have to at some point, especially since I do plan on getting an operation, but for now, I'm just too much of a wuss to say anything. :/


So, that's my story, I guess...

You don't have to post here if you don't want to - we'd be happy to have more people to talk to, though. :smallbiggrin:

It's definitely not cowardice to worry about telling people. Coming out tends to be... Tricky at best. *Hugs*

My list of people I know I'm out to:
The only people I've told about my gender are... Three or four of my cousins, my sister (who genetically speaking is also my cousin - we're just really close and really similar-looking), my best friend and his mom, one of my second cousins, and uh... Maybe one or two other people outside of the Internet. I definitely don't plan on telling my parents, though, considering how they are about my hair and nails. >.>

Then there's my bisexuality - everyone from the previous list knows, in addition to four or five high-school friends that I haven't really seen very much after graduation. Two of them let it slip to a guy who didn't live in town very long, though... He ended up warning that I would end up picking a sex for some reason (I'm not even sure why that's a concern - obviously if I "pick" one I should be perfectly content "staying" with that "choice" :smallconfused:).

Not telling my parents about that either, but they already assumed I'm gay from the lack of dating girls which I actually never asked out due to a mixture of shyness and the knowledge that they would have had to drive me there. >.>


I think I might eventually want SRS... I dunno, some primal bit of me's still skittish about that for some reason. I think I may at least want to see if I can get the testicles removed or something, though... Gah, they're all weird and heavy and :/


Welcome, KingHywel!

Not sure if I'm allowed to be part of the welcome wagon since I would be classified as "straight, but not narrow," but hug warmly and love fiercely, so I'm pretty sure that qualifies me. :smallbiggrin:

In that case, you qualify as a straight ally - totally part of the group. :smallsmile:


~Bianca

[Oltharius]

You don't have to post here if you don't want to - we'd be happy to have more people to talk to, though. :smallbiggrin:
What's the point in joining a forum if I don't post in it? :P


It's definitely not cowardice to worry about telling people. Coming out tends to be... Tricky at best. *Hugs*
Honestly, I don't even know why it should be an issue. Ideally, I should just be able to say, "Oh, by the way, I'm trans. Talk to you later." However, this stupid hetero-normative culture paints everything that's not hetero-normative as "weird" or even "wrong," feelings that indoctrinate themselves into us. So, here I am, scared ****less of what other people will think of me, even my own family, simply because of intolerance, and there's almost nothing I can do about it. It's just not right. :smallfrown:


My list of people I know I'm out to:
The only people I've told about my gender are... Three or four of my cousins, my sister (who genetically speaking is also my cousin - we're just really close and really similar-looking), my best friend and his mom, one of my second cousins, and uh... Maybe one or two other people outside of the Internet. I definitely don't plan on telling my parents, though, considering how they are about my hair and nails. >.>

Then there's my bisexuality - everyone from the previous list knows, in addition to four or five high-school friends that I haven't really seen very much after graduation. Two of them let it slip to a guy who didn't live in town very long, though... He ended up warning that I would end up picking a sex for some reason (I'm not even sure why that's a concern - obviously if I "pick" one I should be perfectly content "staying" with that "choice" :smallconfused:).

Not telling my parents about that either, but they already assumed I'm gay from the lack of dating girls which I actually never asked out due to a mixture of shyness and the knowledge that they would have had to drive me there. >.>


I think I might eventually want SRS... I dunno, some primal bit of me's still skittish about that for some reason. I think I may at least want to see if I can get the testicles removed or something, though... Gah, they're all weird and heavy and :/
You've certainly told more people than I have. I am so jelly of your bravery right now. I wish I could tell people about it. I'm sure most of my family will be fine with it, but I am somewhat worried about my aunt's side of the family as they are rather religious. So that could be a problem. Nevertheless, I'm sure I'm not in any position to be "disowned" or anything, so I guess I should count myself lucky, at least.

[Arachu]

Oh my god having my first caffeine rush right now this is awesome why didn't anyone tell me awesome this is well I guess they did and it just didn't affect me this much before but it does now so yay~ :smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:


Oh, forgot to tell a story~So, my parents and I were eating at a Pizza Hut today, and our... Does Pizza Hut have waiters/waitresses? They aren't exactly formal... >.>

Well anyway, the person who seated us and brought us our food was incredibly androgynous - name was Alex, in-between voice resonance, no obvious secondary characteristics or passive cues (would've complimented them if my parents weren't there and I knew they'd take it as a compliment :smalltongue:). Well, my dad didn't really seem to care but the first thing my mom did when they were out of earshot was ask "is that a boy or a girl?". :smallsigh:

She kept it down, but she wondered again before we left and I got to respond "why does it matter? We're here to eat pizza. :smallconfused:" - total disarm, barely managed to keep from giggling right there. :smallbiggrin:



What's the point in joining a forum if I don't post in it? :P

... You win this time, Oltharius. :P


Honestly, I don't even know why it should be an issue. Ideally, I should just be able to say, "Oh, by the way, I'm trans. Talk to you later." However, this stupid hetero-normative culture paints everything that's not hetero-normative as "weird" or even "wrong," feelings that indoctrinate themselves into us. So, here I am, scared ****less of what other people will think of me, even my own family, simply because of intolerance, and there's almost nothing I can do about it. It's just not right. :smallfrown:

You've certainly told more people than I have. I am so jelly of your bravery right now. I wish I could tell people about it. I'm sure most of my family will be fine with it, but I am somewhat worried about my aunt's side of the family as they are rather religious. So that could be a problem. Nevertheless, I'm sure I'm not in any position to be "disowned" or anything, so I guess I should count myself lucky, at least.

... I don't know if I'd call it bravery, considering that most of them are my cousins (who themselves seem to be bi(?), omni/pansexual(?), bicurious or maybe bi, bi, and bi/possibly trans (sometimes my sister wishes out loud that she was male, but I'm still using feminine because I haven't been able to ask about it)). I don't think most of my family would be terribly bad about it, but they wouldn't exactly be supportive... >.>

And *so many hugs*. A lot of us are just as terrified about those things. I just seem tougher because I'm rebellious. :mitd:


~Bianca

[Oltharius]

Oh, forgot to tell a story~So, my parents and I were eating at a Pizza Hut today, and our... Does Pizza Hut have waiters/waitresses? They aren't exactly formal... >.>

Well anyway, the person who seated us and brought us our food was incredibly androgynous - name was Alex, in-between voice resonance, no obvious secondary characteristics or passive cues (would've complimented them if my parents weren't there and I knew they'd take it as a compliment :smalltongue:). Well, my dad didn't really seem to care but the first thing my mom did when they were out of earshot was ask "is that a boy or a girl?". :smallsigh:

She kept it down, but she wondered again before we left and I got to respond "why does it matter? We're here to eat pizza. :smallconfused:" - total disarm, barely managed to keep from giggling right there. :smallbiggrin:
I really like androgynous people. I find them quite attractive. :smallbiggrin:


... You win this time, Oltharius. :P
It took me a second to realize you were talking to me. :P
I wonder if I'll ever get used to being called that instead of my other username. :/


... I don't know if I'd call it bravery, considering that most of them are my cousins (who themselves seem to be bi(?), omni/pansexual(?), bicurious or maybe bi, bi, and bi/possibly trans (sometimes my sister wishes out loud that she was male, but I'm still using feminine because I haven't been able to ask about it)). I don't think most of my family would be terribly bad about it, but they wouldn't exactly be supportive... >.>

And *so many hugs*. A lot of us are just as terrified about those things. I just seem tougher because I'm rebellious. :mitd:


~Bianca
Yeah, I'm like the opposite of rebellious. Even in high school I didn't rebel. :P

[golentan]

Guys, guys, RIDICULOUSLY hot androgynous person came to work today. I got all self conscious and started finding excuses to stare and not stare. I think they were physically female, and I'm not sure about their gender. But yeah, insta-crushing.

And then they ask if I'll remember them or if they need a receipt for their stuff. "I'll definitely remember you."

Yeah. Why can't I look like that? Why can't EVERYONE look like that?

[MartytheBioGuy]

Thanks for all the support and kind words, guys! I really appreciate it. Yeah, my life has had sucky points, and things are going to be tough even moving forward, but it's good to have people there for me.

In terms of the suggestion to cuddle with him anyway, that would be awkward to explain in the morning when the rest of our 14-person tour group (largely conservative and aware of my engagement to a woman) woke up in the morning and saw us. Suffice to say that since everyone is sleeping in the same room, not so much. :smallwink:

[KenderWizard]

Hey everyone. I was disappointed with my results, so I'm sad.


I'm just gonna delurk and introduce myself. I'm Hywel, or Tom. I've been lurking for three threads now, and I was beginning to think it was a bit creepy to just watch the conversation without contributing. But now that I'm typing, I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to say. So... hello.

Hello! Good to have you!


I suppose I should post here then, huh? You know, all things considered.

*snip*


Hello also! And I think it's pretty normal for transness to manifest earlier than sexual orientation.


Welcome, KingHywel!

Not sure if I'm allowed to be part of the welcome wagon since I would be classified as "straight, but not narrow," but hug warmly and love fiercely, so I'm pretty sure that qualifies me. :smallbiggrin:

We <3 allies!


Guys, guys, RIDICULOUSLY hot androgynous person came to work today. I got all self conscious and started finding excuses to stare and not stare. I think they were physically female, and I'm not sure about their gender. But yeah, insta-crushing.

And then they ask if I'll remember them or if they need a receipt for their stuff. "I'll definitely remember you."

Yeah. Why can't I look like that? Why can't EVERYONE look like that?

Well, to answer your last question: because then we'd live in a creepy world of clones. Of course, if we were going to live in a creepy world of identical beings, it'd be good if the form was a ridiculously hot androgynous one. Will you see this person again?

[Oltharius]

Guys, guys, RIDICULOUSLY hot androgynous person came to work today. I got all self conscious and started finding excuses to stare and not stare. I think they were physically female, and I'm not sure about their gender. But yeah, insta-crushing.

And then they ask if I'll remember them or if they need a receipt for their stuff. "I'll definitely remember you."

Yeah. Why can't I look like that? Why can't EVERYONE look like that?
Though I like androgyny, I wouldn't want everyone to look like that. Some variation would certainly be appreciated.


Hello also! And I think it's pretty normal for transness to manifest earlier than sexual orientation.
Is that so? I had no idea.

[MartytheBioGuy]

Weighing in, I definitely like the manlier looking men and the womanlier looking women. My fiancee has some amazing curves, oh my gosh, but I definitely like the guys that are a bit furrier, etc. So no, I wouldn't want everyone to be androgynous, because I LOVE-with-all-capitals-on-purpose the amazing diversity of beautiful human forms. We're built so wonderfully. Gah.

[Mono Vertigo]

Okay, story time for me. Well, it's not really my own experience there, because it's pretty bland (20 years of complete lack of libido without angst, then realization it makes me a freak by heteronormative standards, then certainty I'd spend the rest of my life alone 'cuz who wants someone who doesn't like/want sex?, then fell in love with best friend then it all got better).
I'll talk a little about my boyfriend instead, because it's a hopeful story.

So, he's FtM. His experience matches the "norm": puberty filled of angst, awareness there's something wrong though he can't talk to anyone about it, etc.
We became friends at 12, and he never was really girly (so was I, actually). I never bugged him about feminity or anything (mostly, I guess, because I hated hearing about them myself). Well, the only noteworthy event is that I would tease him and try to make him wear that ridiculous pink kimono-thingy I had for fun, and he refused vehemently for a while until he gave in, wore it 2 minutes, and never talked about it again. (Yeah, I'm not particularly proud of it, but in my defense, I wouldn't have been caught alive in that thing either. No, it's not an excuse, but I was a teen, and teens do sadistic things for no good reason.)
I think I was 17 when he finally told me clearly he was a boy. I figured it made sense in hindsight, and it took me like one day to fully process it. I did my best not to let old habits take over and address him with the proper pronoun.
Then we became a couple and he decided to transition a few months in our relationship; I honestly don't know if he would have done it, or if he'd have waited longer, if I didn't become his girlfriend.

That's where it gets "funny". We learn his uncle (sorry, force of habit; she's MtF so I should say aunt) is actually trans too. Her situation is not very favorable (she's 40+, divorced, with a 11-year-old son, and in a bad economic situation), but she started taking hormones and dressing femininely a short time ago.
My boyfriend's transition was taken very well by the family as a whole, and with that gate now open, his aunt followed. The reactions are not perfect, but it's unquestionably much better than if she had been the first of the family to open the way.
Now, we're musing if there is something genetic on that side of the family that could explain that coincidence, or if it's just a matter of randomness.

[Lycunadari]

Welcome KingHywel and Oltharius!



ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg
Oh, that's cuuuute :smallredface:


I really like androgynous people. I find them quite attractive. :smallbiggrin:


I'll subscribe to that. :smallsmile:


ION: I wonder, when I should come out to my family or my friends about my bisexuality. So far, no one knows about it (because I only recently discovered I'm bi and I'm not 100% sure about it. :smallredface: ). I think, my parents would react quite well (they are religious, Lutherans, but they also support Amnesty International and have never said something homophobic ), so that shouldn't be a problem. But I don't know if I should just tell them now (or in near furture) that I'm bi, or if I should wait until I really have a girlfriend and say "That's Xy, she's my girlfriend, but I'm not lesbian but bi."
Maybe I could talk to my sister when she comes home again. I really trust her, but somehow I can't imagine how she will react. :smallconfused: We never had a close relationship, because she's six years older than me and she used to tease me a lot, but since she moved out, that gets better and I really look forward to every time she comes home. But I just don't know what she's thinking.

I really should practice more writing down my confusing thoughts in English. That text must be terrible to read.

[SiuiS]

Miss Kenderwizard, if you could inform me whether my post is too long or not, I would appreciate it :smallsmile:


*decloaks*

http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/02/mind-reading-neuroscientist-v-s-ramachandran-on-unlearning-pain/

Ramachandran's latest book may contain a section on transgenderism. The last two question are on that topic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjauW9-QKBY

And a Youtube video about transgenderism and neurology.

*cloaks*

Aaaaaaah why do I read this thread while half asleep I totally missed this was yoooouuu ._.

*ahem* Asta! A pleasure to have you back!


What, the MySpace angle? :P

To be fair, it looks a lot better in you two than most people.


No, it's a solid colour, just reflection from the light. And I've found a rich dark red is one of the easiest nail colours to pull off.

Yeah, it's a nice color, buti find you need like, three coats minimum to get the proper depth to the color. And just gobbing it on seems so tacky. I guess I should get some myself if I need it instead of borrowing some, so I get the right color.

Didn't say this before, because I felt it would be rude, but good job on the androgyny! I couldn't place the gender of the person on the right, until I saw they were a couple then I was like "pretty sure boy. Probably?" only because a not and a girl is usually how couples work. I had to scroll back up and check your avatar.



*hugs*
One thing to consider is; it's never to late to transition; but you have to do what you are comfortable with. Have you tried experimenting a bit with presentation, pronouns and such? Cause small steps are a good way for some people to see how they feel and evaluate stuff. Tons of sympathies.

Ssooort of? I'm treading slowly. If not for the sort of peaceful sense I've got now, I'd say "oops, false alarm". But it feels right :smallsmile:
But the list of folks who know are my fully, this thread, the guy I had a spontaneous crush on due to sexy avatar, and said guys' boyfriend because couples tell each other stuff.


I'm just gonna delurk and introduce myself. I'm Hywel, or Tom. I've been lurking for three threads now, and I was beginning to think it was a bit creepy to just watch the conversation without contributing. But now that I'm typing, I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to say. So... hello.

Hi Tom!
Remember, it's only creepy if we aren't in a public place ;)
I too tend to ramble around a topic, so no worries!


I suppose I should post here then, huh? You know, all things considered.

Sure! And what's your other user name? Provided you wanna be called that instead.



So, that's my story, I guess...

The amount of myself reflected in everyone else's tales is interesting. Thanks for the insight~


Oh my god having my first caffeine rush right now this is awesome why didn't anyone tell me awesome this is well I guess they did and it just didn't affect me this much before but it does now so yay~ :smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:


Because once you get really addicted the withdrawal is terrible, and I would spare anyone that if I could.


Oh, forgot to tell a story~So, my parents and I were eating at a Pizza Hut today, and our... Does Pizza Hut have waiters/waitresses? They aren't exactly formal... >.>

Well anyway, the person who seated us and brought us our food was incredibly androgynous - name was Alex, in-between voice resonance, no obvious secondary characteristics or passive cues (would've complimented them if my parents weren't there and I knew they'd take it as a compliment :smalltongue:). Well, my dad didn't really seem to care but the first thing my mom did when they were out of earshot was ask "is that a boy or a girl?". :smallsigh:

She kept it down, but she wondered again before we left and I got to respond "why does it matter? We're here to eat pizza. :smallconfused:" - total disarm, barely managed to keep from giggling right there. :smallbiggrin:

Good stuff! I like pizza hut. They have good food, and the atmosphere is more fun than a lot of other pizza places. Kudos on your witty banter~


Hey everyone. I was disappointed with my results, so I'm sad.

Oh no! Do you need cheering? Will hugs work? :smallfrown:



Well, to answer your last question: because then we'd live in a creepy world of clones. Of course, if we were going to live in a creepy world of identical beings, it'd be good if the form was a ridiculously hot androgynous one. Will you see this person again?

But if the chassises were all standard, then you'd have more customization options. Or
Hmm
This made sense in my head but fell apart while typing? Never mind >>;

Musashi's story makes me feel better about something's and worse about others. Had an asexual girlfriend once, which I didn't take too kindly. Id like to think its situational, but... Ah well. Focus on the positive yes?

[Lea Plath]

We <3 allies!

Even the bigots. It scares them >:3


Anyway, welcome new peoples! *hugs*

And extra hugs for Kenda. That sucks :< *hugs*

[Lady Serpentine]

I really should practice more writing down my confusing thoughts in English. That text must be terrible to read.

Not really, actually. There were a couple of minor things, but overall it was perfectly readable, and conveyed what it was saying quite clearly.

(Of course, I don't know if it conveyed what you meant clearly, because I don't know if you meant what it conveys, but... :P)

[Heliomance]

Yeah, it's a nice color, buti find you need like, three coats minimum to get the proper depth to the color. And just gobbing it on seems so tacky. I guess I should get some myself if I need it instead of borrowing some, so I get the right color.
Actually, that's just one coat I've got on there.


Didn't say this before, because I felt it would be rude, but good job on the androgyny! I couldn't place the gender of the person on the right, until I saw they were a couple then I was like "pretty sure boy. Probably?" only because a not and a girl is usually how couples work. I had to scroll back up and check your avatar.

...ouch.
I was aiming for completely female. I thought I did a really good job, I liked that picture. Guess I didn't do as well as I thought :/
There goes my confidence. :smallfrown:

[supernerd]

So, I'm almost an Eagle Scout. All I have left is my project, and I had a short talk with our Life-to-Eagle adult person guy. I rather like the guy, but I don't know what his reaction would be to the following.

He said to choose something for my Eagle Project that I'm excited about, something that I want to do. My first thought was to do something for an LGBTA+ center nearby. Of course I'd have to find said center first.

Anyway following related story sploilered for almost political content, keyword almost:
I asked our outgoing junior who's really cool, but pretty conservative, though he doesn't use it to consciously hurt someone.

Anyway, so I ask him if I should do my Eagle Project for an organization that helps atheists and/or gays. His response was to tell me that atheists were the least trusted group even behind Nazis. And then continued to say that homosexuality was a sin. All this time my retorts had been "And?" or "So?" or "And the answer to my question was?"

He then proceeded to make an analogy, and asked me my opinions on incest. He asked if I loved my sister and she loved me(putting emphasis on the word "loved" in that swingy way, when someone is trying to say a single word seductively and fails miserably) that I should be allowed to marry her and have kids. My response, "marriage, but not procreation because of risk of birth defects in the child." his response, "I see..." combined with a raised eyebrow.

And when I asked how that answered my question, he proceeded to repeat his "argument".

So I'm not sure if I should, I want to, but I also don't want to be kicked out. I can pull a bunch of fecal matter out of my anus in the form of a story about my best friend who moved to Texas and got bullied for being gay(who doesn't exist) or I could talk about your guys' stories if you let me. Or I could just talk from the heart about crossing metaphorical bridges and how I owe it to my non-cisheteronormative friends to help in whatever small way I can.

I just don't know if I could keep my Board of Review from knowing I'm gay and consequently getting kicked out.

[UserClone]

Actually, that's just one coat I've got on there.



...ouch.
I was aiming for completely female. I thought I did a really good job, I liked that picture. Guess I didn't do as well as I thought :/
There goes my confidence. :smallfrown:

For me it was the facial structure that gave it away, and the slightly too-wide shoulders. So nothing you have control over, bar surgery.

[UserClone]

@Supernerd: Wait, so people still get kicked out of scouts for being gay? Why is that anyway, is it because gays refuse to participate in the annual whorehouse jamboree? I mean seriously, must EVERY Eagle Scout get an "I like vaginas!" badge in order to qualify as a real man?

Sorry, I just despise those types of sentiments. I was only kidding. I know it's because gays are more likely to be child molesters.:smallwink::smallfrown:

Idiots.

[Socratov]

So, I'm almost an Eagle Scout. All I have left is my project, and I had a short talk with our Life-to-Eagle adult person guy. I rather like the guy, but I don't know what his reaction would be to the following.

He said to choose something for my Eagle Project that I'm excited about, something that I want to do. My first thought was to do something for an LGBTA+ center nearby. Of course I'd have to find said center first.

Anyway following related story sploilered for almost political content, keyword almost:
I asked our outgoing junior who's really cool, but pretty conservative, though he doesn't use it to consciously hurt someone.

Anyway, so I ask him if I should do my Eagle Project for an organization that helps atheists and/or gays. His response was to tell me that atheists were the least trusted group even behind Nazis. And then continued to say that homosexuality was a sin. All this time my retorts had been "And?" or "So?" or "And the answer to my question was?"

He then proceeded to make an analogy, and asked me my opinions on incest. He asked if I loved my sister and she loved me(putting emphasis on the word "loved" in that swingy way, when someone is trying to say a single word seductively and fails miserably) that I should be allowed to marry her and have kids. My response, "marriage, but not procreation because of risk of birth defects in the child." his response, "I see..." combined with a raised eyebrow.

And when I asked how that answered my question, he proceeded to repeat his "argument".

So I'm not sure if I should, I want to, but I also don't want to be kicked out. I can pull a bunch of fecal matter out of my anus in the form of a story about my best friend who moved to Texas and got bullied for being gay(who doesn't exist) or I could talk about your guys' stories if you let me. Or I could just talk from the heart about crossing metaphorical bridges and how I owe it to my non-cisheteronormative friends to help in whatever small way I can.

I just don't know if I could keep my Board of Review from knowing I'm gay and consequently getting kicked out.

If I may offer my word of (limited) wisdom: Do what feels right, we humans often have a great instinct in these kinds of situations. Trust your gut feeling in this. Second, ask yourself if you want to be part of a froup of people who 1) won't accept you the way you are, 2) are (extremely?) judgemental when it comes to a certain lifestyle you happen to use, 3) actually exclude you for being yourself.

My last piece of advice would be to be honest about it. If you get kicked out, chances are you would not be happy in that group anyway, if you don't tell because they exclude homosexuals, chaces are they will soetime discover and blame you for keeping it secret (which is your own good right, but isn't considered polite)

hope my 2 cents help :smallsmile: and ofcourse hugs for the hug god(ess?) :smallamused:

[PairO'Dice Lost]

I just don't know if I could keep my Board of Review from knowing I'm gay and consequently getting kicked out.

Gay atheist Eagle Scout, here; I feel your pain. I wasn't out about being either one when I was in Scouts, but from conversations with our leaders and troop discussions and such, it was made clear to everyone that our local Scout leaders were perfectly accepting of both gays and atheists (and presumably trans* etc., though that wasn't specifically mentioned) and it was only the national leaders who had issues with it.

The advice I was given before my Board of Review from one leader who knew I was (and was himself) an atheist was to answer questions honestly, but not really go into detail. When asked a question about involvement in my religious community, I told them (truthfully) that I volunteered at the local Catholic church every weekend as an usher and helped out with their annual events...but didn't mention that I did it because my Dad's very Catholic, and since I liked volunteering I might as well do it at his church to spend time with him instead of volunteering somewhere else. When asked a question about being "morally straight" in my relationships, I told them (truthfully) that I hadn't slept with any girls before marriage, I behaved gentlemanly around the fairer sex, and so forth...but didn't mention that it was easy for me because I wasn't looking for a girlfriend in the first place.

Regarding your project proposal: don't lie about it. A mythical friend in Texas will probably cause more problems than it solves. Just tell the truth, if perhaps a bit shaded. You have friends of varying sexualities, gender identities, etc., both in meatspace and online, who are often distrusted, bullied, spoken unkindly of, or otherwise harassed for their differences (exhibit A: a certain Scout in your troop). You feel that, whatever your personal views or the troop's views are regarding the "validity" of their "alternative lifestyle" (cough cough same Scout), you feel that being helpful, friendly, courteous, and kind towards them is your duty as a Scout, and standing up for the unpopular people shows bravery as well as reverence for a God who purports to love everyone.

Your own personal orientation never has to enter into the picture--and besides, that justification hits half the points of the Scout Law, who could resist that? :smallwink: If you want to talk with someone else who's gone through the whole ordeal before, my PM box is always open.


@Supernerd: Wait, so people still get kicked out of scouts for being gay? Why is that anyway, is it because gays refuse to participate in the annual whorehouse jamboree? I mean seriously, must EVERY Eagle Scout get an "I like vaginas!" badge in order to qualify as a real man?

Oh yes, they do--get kicked out, that is, not need to earn the Vagina Lover merit badge. Again, most troop leaders/Scoutmasters and fellow Scouts couldn't care less about who kids in the troop want to date as long as they're the trustworthy, loyal, etc. Scouts they're supposed to be, but if it's brought to the attention of the, shall we say, less-than-forward-thinking national leadership, you can and will get kicked out for being gay or an atheist or possibly one of several other things.

And there's nothing special about the National Jamborees, regarding either vaginas or penises, though I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't so much an issue of wanting to make their Scouts "real men" as it was a fear that gay Scouts might spread their icky disease and turn their troopmates gay as well. Because, y'know, there's nothing gay at all about getting a bunch of guys together to spend some quality time alone in the woods, go swimming in skimpy bathing suits or even less, take communal showers, learn how to cook and clean and sew and do arts and crafts...nosirree, nothing gay there! :smallamused:

[Mina Kobold]

*Hugs for all I have not quoted and a Revoir-Glomp to Asta*



ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

Adorable! Although I do not see how diabe-Ack! Insulin. Response. Overcompensating. @_o

Wish I had as neat hair as you do. You make a very cute couple. ^_^

*Passes out from lack of blood-sugar*



I feel very nervous in class rooms all the time too. *hugs* I just am nervous around large groups of people in general. I think it's probably because of my experiences in primary / secondary school. I subconsciously do a lot to just not get noticed... I walk without making a sound.

I apparently walk silently enough to only get noticed when I have been walking behind someone for several seconds. ^_^'

Large groups of people are quite scary. I nearly panic when I have to do presentations. ._.


I suppose I should post here then, huh? You know, all things considered.


So, I've known that I am transgendered/bisexual for a good while now, since '10, if I recall correctly. Well, when I say that, I mean that's when I first accepted it for what it is. In retrospect, it should have been obvious far sooner than that, from freshman year of high school, in fact. Ironically enough, I first started getting hints of the trans part before the bi part. When I was younger, I'd frequently disappear into my imagination and spend hours just fantasizing about various worlds and adventures and whatnot.

Then, at some point, I started imagining myself as female in these fantasies. I just sort of made flimsy excuses like, "I'm just getting bored of imagining the same thing over and over, so this is a way to spice things up." After all, whenever I added a romantic subplot, my "love interest" was still another girl, so I must be perfectly normal.

And, perhaps, it did start out that way: just something to add a unique element, but it quickly became more than that. I would exclusively imagine myself as a girl. Of course, I came up with another excuse that, "It's all just a continuation of several versions of one story, so it's not like I can just change the main protagonist." However, I couldn't delude myself like that forever and started wondering if there was something more. More however, I still couldn't accept it. If I couldn't delude myself, the least I could do is try to ignore it. After all, at this point, I didn't really know that "transgenderism" was even a thing. Sure, I knew about sex change operations and all that, but I didn't understand the purpose behind them, not really. To me, it was just comic fodder for sitcoms.

It wasn't until after high school that I really started to seriously examine myself. It was also at this point, that I started realizing my bisexuality, something I was far more willing to accept. Due to the online community that I was frequenting (and still am, actually), I came to believe that being bi was "cool," so when I started seeing indications of it in myself, I was all too willing to accept that label. The only real doubt was whether or not I actually was bisexual or just convincing myself I was out of desire. Eventually I realized that it was, indeed, the former, and after determining that, I reexamined my feelings from high school, pondering the implications with a more open mind. This time, I was more accepting and finally admitted to myself that I am a woman, through and through.

I didn't stall too long before telling the internet, and received pretty positive results. Most everyone I talked to either supported me or just didn't care one way or the other. However, I was still too cowardly to tell anyone in my real life. In time, I built up the courage to tell my mom, but that was really it. She did tell Dad about it, but neither of us have actually talked about it to each other. I also ended up telling my sister later. The rest of my family, however, I'm not quite ready to tell. I know I'll have to at some point, especially since I do plan on getting an operation, but for now, I'm just too much of a wuss to say anything. :/


So, that's my story, I guess...

*Hugs*

Welcome! You are not cowardly in the slightest. To reveal personal details and trust others not to be cruel is difficult enough in today's society. To reveal it to strangers or those so close they could destroy one's life can be nealry impossible. You are quite brave for telling your parent about something so important already. :smallsmile:

EDIT: I never understood why Scout groups so often have weird policies about sexuality. It seems like a really odd thing to be concerned about, like a Police Force that do not allow Officers to drink Pepsi. ;_;

... And now I am imagining a Girl Scout troop selling cookies to fight anti-Pepsi Policefolks. My brain is strange. @_@

[Skeppio]

*snip*

:O How did I miss this?

*hugs Asta* It's good to see you again, friend. :smallsmile:

[The Succubus]

:O How did I miss this?

Because he's a crafty Swedish ninja. It's common knowledge.

>.>
<.<

[Carecalmo]

Hello new people! always great to see more of you. : )

I love the story-sharing that has happened the past few pages.

Understanding is important. Reflection comes from putting thoughts into words. Seeing how others have handled their lives makes me hopeful for my own, and for the world.

*hugs for everybody*
And *hugs* for Astaninja. I take it as a sign of betterment that you have decloaked, even if only for a moment.


New thread, new beginnings.
Caracelmo: I like the way you write. I am glad you could figure out some of your troubles. Maybe I should record my dreams?

I should type faster. Think we hit a new page since I began >>;

Recording your dreams is always a good idea! I mean, don't you want to know what you're thinking about 1/3 of your life?

Also: I should think faster. These threads move impossibly, wonderfully fast.


*hugs*
I'm sorry to hear about the bad dreams; but I think it's good that it has made you realize some things and hopefully this'll lead to a happier Carecalmo. :smallsmile:



I am sure it will. Thank you for your concern, both of you. (and also everyone who read my post. Having a place to put thoughts in writing is important to everyone, I think. This place is good for me at least)

(in other news, I still hope it's okay to put an occasional rant on something not very LGBTA+ - even though it could be argued that the thoughts of a non-cis non-heteronormative are pretty LGBTA-related in themselves?)



ION, I'm just going to leave this here. Warning: May induce diabetes.
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/481242_4031862440747_1407216844_3588194_2139041472 _n.jpg

So pretty, Tam! (or do you prefer Helio of some sort?) And soooo cute a couple!

I am sorry your confidence took a hit. I want to write something that will help you. Something about presentation, perception and self. But I am not sure if I can convey it in a way that will make much sense.
I do think you make a beautiful girl. :smallsmile:


Hey everyone. I was disappointed with my results, so I'm sad.

Aw. :( Do remember that those were only the results of a test. The results of your life.. is you! And we think you are wonderful. Never a disappointment.

In LGBTA cartoon news, I am watching Batman: The Animated Series. And wow. Harley Quinn, you fox! Kissing Bruce Wayne to make Poison Ivy jealous. This show is full of unsubtle hints. It is also seven kinds of amazing.
EDIT: Oh wait. There's a Christmas episode that basicly starts with Harley in underwear on a hotel bed, begging Ivy to go have some "holiday fun". :smallredface:

[supernerd]

@Supernerd: Wait, so people still get kicked out of scouts for being gay? Why is that anyway, is it because gays refuse to participate in the annual whorehouse jamboree? I mean seriously, must EVERY Eagle Scout get an "I like vaginas!" badge in order to qualify as a real man?

Sorry, I just despise those types of sentiments. I was only kidding. I know it's because gays are more likely to be child molesters.:smallwink::smallfrown:

Idiots.

I went to the National Jamboree, it was pretty fun. I will say that I identified as bi and was slowly allowing myself to accept a more and more drastic lean towards men. I mean it's mostly with holding on to my once conservative paradigm.


If I may offer my word of (limited) wisdom: Do what feels right, we humans often have a great instinct in these kinds of situations. Trust your gut feeling in this. Second, ask yourself if you want to be part of a froup of people who 1) won't accept you the way you are, 2) are (extremely?) judgemental when it comes to a certain lifestyle you happen to use, 3) actually exclude you for being yourself.

My last piece of advice would be to be honest about it. If you get kicked out, chances are you would not be happy in that group anyway, if you don't tell because they exclude homosexuals, chaces are they will soetime discover and blame you for keeping it secret (which is your own good right, but isn't considered polite)

hope my 2 cents help :smallsmile: and ofcourse hugs for the hug god(ess?) :smallamused:

Thank you. I notice gut feelings are rather effective for me, so I'll probably use them. But I really just want it for college applications.


Gay atheist Eagle Scout, here; I feel your pain. I wasn't out about being either one when I was in Scouts, but from conversations with our leaders and troop discussions and such, it was made clear to everyone that our local Scout leaders were perfectly accepting of both gays and atheists (and presumably trans* etc., though that wasn't specifically mentioned) and it was only the national leaders who had issues with it.

The advice I was given before my Board of Review from one leader who knew I was (and was himself) an atheist was to answer questions honestly, but not really go into detail. When asked a question about involvement in my religious community, I told them (truthfully) that I volunteered at the local Catholic church every weekend as an usher and helped out with their annual events...but didn't mention that I did it because my Dad's very Catholic, and since I liked volunteering I might as well do it at his church to spend time with him instead of volunteering somewhere else. When asked a question about being "morally straight" in my relationships, I told them (truthfully) that I hadn't slept with any girls before marriage, I behaved gentlemanly around the fairer sex, and so forth...but didn't mention that it was easy for me because I wasn't looking for a girlfriend in the first place.

Regarding your project proposal: don't lie about it. A mythical friend in Texas will probably cause more problems than it solves. Just tell the truth, if perhaps a bit shaded. You have friends of varying sexualities, gender identities, etc., both in meatspace and online, who are often distrusted, bullied, spoken unkindly of, or otherwise harassed for their differences (exhibit A: a certain Scout in your troop). You feel that, whatever your personal views or the troop's views are regarding the "validity" of their "alternative lifestyle" (cough cough same Scout), you feel that being helpful, friendly, courteous, and kind towards them is your duty as a Scout, and standing up for the unpopular people shows bravery as well as reverence for a God who purports to love everyone.

Your own personal orientation never has to enter into the picture--and besides, that justification hits half the points of the Scout Law, who could resist that? :smallwink: If you want to talk with someone else who's gone through the whole ordeal before, my PM box is always open.



Oh yes, they do--get kicked out, that is, not need to earn the Vagina Lover merit badge. Again, most troop leaders/Scoutmasters and fellow Scouts couldn't care less about who kids in the troop want to date as long as they're the trustworthy, loyal, etc. Scouts they're supposed to be, but if it's brought to the attention of the, shall we say, less-than-forward-thinking national leadership, you can and will get kicked out for being gay or an atheist or possibly one of several other things.

And there's nothing special about the National Jamborees, regarding either vaginas or penises, though I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't so much an issue of wanting to make their Scouts "real men" as it was a fear that gay Scouts might spread their icky disease and turn their troopmates gay as well. Because, y'know, there's nothing gay at all about getting a bunch of guys together to spend some quality time alone in the woods, go swimming in skimpy bathing suits or even less, take communal showers, learn how to cook and clean and sew and do arts and crafts...nosirree, nothing gay there! :smallamused:

I love you so much right now. :respect:

[ScionoftheVoid]

Hello, new people!

Hugs for KenderWizard and anyone else feeling sad. :smallfrown:

Anyway, I have a question (spoilered for length and confusion :s): Is it "normal" (as much as that means anything), as a cisperson, to be kind of bothered by one's sexual characteristics and honestly think one would be more comfortable without them? Because while I'm fairly sure I don't experience actual gender dysphoria (though I'm not really aware enough of how that might feel to be absolutely sure), since realising that I find sex kind of disgusting (as it involves me! Other people can do whatever consensual acts they wish), am asexual and don't intend to have sex if I can avoid it anyway I've begun to wonder what the point of having a basically useless organ is. All it does is demand pointless and annoying things from me (I still have a libido, though would definitely be happier if I didn't) and look ugly. And then there's body and facial hair which, while not awful, are still counter to my preferred body image... It doesn't bother me lots, and I'm almost certain removing these things would be something I should be paying for than being provided. But, well, if I were given the chance I'd discard them in a heartbeat.
I'm asking here because I don't know if most people even consider such things, because I would hope any transpeople (or specifically neutrois people, if we have any?) here would be happy to educate me on gender dysphoria and whether or not this is it and because I would like to think that everyone here would be understanding. :smallredface:

[SiuiS]

...ouch.

noooo that's not what I meant ><
And in twenty minutes I haven't put down anything other than backpedaling.

[KenderWizard]

Is that so? I had no idea.

Well, it's different for everyone, and highly dependent on environment and development, and there aren't any hard and fast rules, but I think for a lot of people, orientation only really sorts itself out in or past puberty, whereas a lot of people who are trans seem to know there's something up from much younger, which makes sense because we start gendering ourselves from the time we're babies. I think it's easy to say "Oh, we always knew James was gay because his favourite colour was purple and he loved X gay male character on Y television program." in retrospect, but it's not actually possible to tell who someone will want to sleep with once they're an adult. And children are certainly sexual beings, it's not like it switches on one day, it grows and develops like anything else. So I wouldn't go so far as to call it a rule, or even definitely the norm, but I certainly don't think it's unusual to start sorting out your gender identity before your sexual orientation.



ION: I wonder, when I should come out to my family or my friends about my bisexuality. So far, no one knows about it (because I only recently discovered I'm bi and I'm not 100% sure about it. :smallredface: ). I think, my parents would react quite well (they are religious, Lutherans, but they also support Amnesty International and have never said something homophobic ), so that shouldn't be a problem. But I don't know if I should just tell them now (or in near furture) that I'm bi, or if I should wait until I really have a girlfriend and say "That's Xy, she's my girlfriend, but I'm not lesbian but bi."
Maybe I could talk to my sister when she comes home again. I really trust her, but somehow I can't imagine how she will react. :smallconfused: We never had a close relationship, because she's six years older than me and she used to tease me a lot, but since she moved out, that gets better and I really look forward to every time she comes home. But I just don't know what she's thinking.

I really should practice more writing down my confusing thoughts in English. That text must be terrible to read.

No, I get you! Just remember, if you wait until you have a girlfriend, you don't know when that'll be! It might be tomorrow, it might be never. So you have more control over the timing if you find a non-awkward way to bring it up.


Miss Kenderwizard, if you could inform me whether my post is too long or not, I would appreciate it :smallsmile:

Well, you know, I'm not the authority on it! Bit on the long side, but manageable. Hopefully like mine, which is starting to get pretty long! :smallsmile:



Oh no! Do you need cheering? Will hugs work? :smallfrown:


Hugs are always appreciated. I'll come to terms with it. I understand that I would have done better if I hadn't been sick and that's not something I can control, but I'm still frustrated with myself!



And extra hugs for Kenda. That sucks :< *hugs*

Are these my hugs? Am I Kenda?



...ouch.
I was aiming for completely female. I thought I did a really good job, I liked that picture. Guess I didn't do as well as I thought :/
There goes my confidence. :smallfrown:

Oh, honey, don't take it hard! I would have guessed girl in that picture, and every time I show your picture to my partner he guesses girl. Remember, you're working against a lot of gendering and a whole lifetime of being a boy when you present as a girl. I think you're doing fantastically, and it's a gorgeous picture of two cute girls.



*scouts stuff*


Well, I know next to nothing about Scouts or how that works. I do know my partner's younger brother had a similar conundrum when he was coming up through, because he's atheist. Are you familiar with I'm Christian Unless You're Gay (http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html)? Let's not discuss it in case it's too close to religion (although it basically applies to anyone who goes with a homophobic default despite wanting to be a good person), but your workaround reminded me of it.



(in other news, I still hope it's okay to put an occasional rant on something not very LGBTA+ - even though it could be argued that the thoughts of a non-cis non-heteronormative are pretty LGBTA-related in themselves?)

I certainly hope so, or I'll get kicked out of the thread one of these days! I'm not even non-cis, and I'm only barely non-heteronormative! :smalltongue:



Aw. :( Do remember that those were only the results of a test. The results of your life.. is you! And we think you are wonderful. Never a disappointment.


:smallsmile: Thank you very much. I'm coming to terms with it, quicker than I thought I would, and every kind word brings me a centimetre closer to being at peace with my achievement.

[ScionoftheVoid]

Oh, and on Heliomance's picture, I saw it as two girls -- if it makes you feel any better. You look really sweet. :smallredface:

[Oltharius]

Sure! And what's your other user name? Provided you wanna be called that instead.
Oh, it doesn't really matter. i was just making commentary. :P


So, I'm almost an Eagle Scout. All I have left is my project, and I had a short talk with our Life-to-Eagle adult person guy. I rather like the guy, but I don't know what his reaction would be to the following.

He said to choose something for my Eagle Project that I'm excited about, something that I want to do. My first thought was to do something for an LGBTA+ center nearby. Of course I'd have to find said center first.

Anyway following related story sploilered for almost political content, keyword almost:
I asked our outgoing junior who's really cool, but pretty conservative, though he doesn't use it to consciously hurt someone.

Anyway, so I ask him if I should do my Eagle Project for an organization that helps atheists and/or gays. His response was to tell me that atheists were the least trusted group even behind Nazis. And then continued to say that homosexuality was a sin. All this time my retorts had been "And?" or "So?" or "And the answer to my question was?"

He then proceeded to make an analogy, and asked me my opinions on incest. He asked if I loved my sister and she loved me(putting emphasis on the word "loved" in that swingy way, when someone is trying to say a single word seductively and fails miserably) that I should be allowed to marry her and have kids. My response, "marriage, but not procreation because of risk of birth defects in the child." his response, "I see..." combined with a raised eyebrow.

And when I asked how that answered my question, he proceeded to repeat his "argument".

So I'm not sure if I should, I want to, but I also don't want to be kicked out. I can pull a bunch of fecal matter out of my anus in the form of a story about my best friend who moved to Texas and got bullied for being gay(who doesn't exist) or I could talk about your guys' stories if you let me. Or I could just talk from the heart about crossing metaphorical bridges and how I owe it to my non-cisheteronormative friends to help in whatever small way I can.

I just don't know if I could keep my Board of Review from knowing I'm gay and consequently getting kicked out.
From what I've heard, the Boy Scouts are pretty...non-accepting of, well, everything conservatives hate. If you want to do this, then more power to you. Just know that you'll probably get kicked out if you don't do something that they approve of. It's sad, but they are (supposed to be) a private organization, so they have to freedom to do whatever they want, even if it is horribly bigoted and evil.


*Hugs*

Welcome! You are not cowardly in the slightest. To reveal personal details and trust others not to be cruel is difficult enough in today's society. To reveal it to strangers or those so close they could destroy one's life can be nealry impossible. You are quite brave for telling your parent about something so important already. :smallsmile:

Thanks for those kind words. :smallsmile:

[Socratov]

I went to the National Jamboree, it was pretty fun. I will say that I identified as bi and was slowly allowing myself to accept a more and more drastic lean towards men. I mean it's mostly with holding on to my once conservative paradigm.



Thank you. I notice gut feelings are rather effective for me, so I'll probably use them. But I really just want it for college applications.



I love you so much right now. :respect:

eah, in my experience college and gut feeling don't correlate too often (at least according to tests) but for the rest it's nice to have :D

[Caustic Soda]

Welcome, new people, nice to have you *waves*, don't worry too much about having little to say, my posts are mostly friendly fluff, I leave the more thought-provoking posting for Kenderwizard and the various members of her hive mind :smallbiggrin:. *Hugs* for everyone who wants them, especially KenderWizard :smallsmile:. I'm kinda stressed out at the moment, so I could do with some hugs myself, but for better or for worse it'll be sorted out by the end of next week when I've handed in my project.

@Heliomance: if it makes you feel better, I could see only one tell in your picture, and even so only because I know you're a transwoman. Your chin is ever-so-slightly more masculine than your girlfriends (you were a couple, right?), but it doesn't really stand out, so I couldn't tell if I met the two of you on the street. In any case, have a *hug*.

[supernerd]

Well, I know next to nothing about Scouts or how that works. I do know my partner's younger brother had a similar conundrum when he was coming up through, because he's atheist. Are you familiar with I'm Christian Unless You're Gay (http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html)? Let's not discuss it in case it's too close to religion (although it basically applies to anyone who goes with a homophobic default despite wanting to be a good person), but your workaround reminded me of it.

Why yes. Yes I am. I like the idea of having a rebellious phase. My "closet syndrome" was a detachment from my family and a phobia of stepping out of line that had been developing for years.


eah, in my experience college and gut feeling don't correlate too often (at least according to tests) but for the rest it's nice to have :D

Of course! Gut for actions logic for tests!

[KenderWizard]

Welcome, new people, nice to have you *waves*, don't worry too much about having little to say, my posts are mostly friendly fluff, I leave the more thought-provoking posting for Kenderwizard and the various members of her hive mind :smallbiggrin:. *Hugs* for everyone who wants them, especially KenderWizard :smallsmile:. I'm kinda stressed out at the moment, so I could do with some hugs myself, but for better or for worse it'll be sorted out by the end of next week when I've handed in my project.


:smallredface: Thanks for the compliment and the hugs! And have some *hugs* for you as well. Hope your project goes well!

[Mina Kobold]

Thanks for those kind words. :smallsmile:

You are very welcome! :smallsmile:


Welcome, new people, nice to have you *waves*, don't worry too much about having little to say, my posts are mostly friendly fluff, I leave the more thought-provoking posting for Kenderwizard and the various members of her hive mind :smallbiggrin:. *Hugs* for everyone who wants them, especially KenderWizard :smallsmile:. I'm kinda stressed out at the moment, so I could do with some hugs myself, but for better or for worse it'll be sorted out by the end of next week when I've handed in my project.

*Hugs*

Hope the project goes great! ^_^

[Astrella]

I would just like to say that when I read the bolded bit I was confused because you are a girl. Took me a moment to work it out!


Kender's right - you already were a girl. ^_^


~Bianca

Shucks, you folks... :smallredface:


I'm just gonna delurk and introduce myself. I'm Hywel, or Tom. I've been lurking for three threads now, and I was beginning to think it was a bit creepy to just watch the conversation without contributing. But now that I'm typing, I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to say. So... hello.

Hi~


*snip*

Hi, glad the peeps you told already reacted well. :smallsmile:


So, my parents and I were eating at a Pizza Hut today, and our... Does Pizza Hut have waiters/waitresses? They aren't exactly formal... >.>

Well anyway, the person who seated us and brought us our food was incredibly androgynous - name was Alex, in-between voice resonance, no obvious secondary characteristics or passive cues (would've complimented them if my parents weren't there and I knew they'd take it as a compliment :smalltongue:). Well, my dad didn't really seem to care but the first thing my mom did when they were out of earshot was ask "is that a boy or a girl?". :smallsigh:

She kept it down, but she wondered again before we left and I got to respond "why does it matter? We're here to eat pizza. :smallconfused:" - total disarm, barely managed to keep from giggling right there. :smallbiggrin:

Cool. :smallsmile:


So, he's FtM. His experience matches the "norm": puberty filled of angst, awareness there's something wrong though he can't talk to anyone about it, etc.
We became friends at 12, and he never was really girly (so was I, actually). I never bugged him about feminity or anything (mostly, I guess, because I hated hearing about them myself). Well, the only noteworthy event is that I would tease him and try to make him wear that ridiculous pink kimono-thingy I had for fun, and he refused vehemently for a while until he gave in, wore it 2 minutes, and never talked about it again. (Yeah, I'm not particularly proud of it, but in my defense, I wouldn't have been caught alive in that thing either. No, it's not an excuse, but I was a teen, and teens do sadistic things for no good reason.)
I think I was 17 when he finally told me clearly he was a boy. I figured it made sense in hindsight, and it took me like one day to fully process it. I did my best not to let old habits take over and address him with the proper pronoun.
Then we became a couple and he decided to transition a few months in our relationship; I honestly don't know if he would have done it, or if he'd have waited longer, if I didn't become his girlfriend.

That's where it gets "funny". We learn his uncle (sorry, force of habit; she's MtF so I should say aunt) is actually trans too. Her situation is not very favorable (she's 40+, divorced, with a 11-year-old son, and in a bad economic situation), but she started taking hormones and dressing femininely a short time ago.
My boyfriend's transition was taken very well by the family as a whole, and with that gate now open, his aunt followed. The reactions are not perfect, but it's unquestionably much better than if she had been the first of the family to open the way.
Now, we're musing if there is something genetic on that side of the family that could explain that coincidence, or if it's just a matter of randomness.

That's cool. :smallsmile: (also story!)


For me it was the facial structure that gave it away, and the slightly too-wide shoulders. So nothing you have control over, bar surgery.

Meh, I think it might also be a deal of seeing what you want to see? Like, I had a period a while back were I kept "seeing" trans peeps everywhere. My point is I guess that everyone has a mix of traits, and that if you're not looking for "signs of transness" (and there aren't even any real ones like that.) you won't notice them.

-----

I really need to post more often. Sorry to everyone I skipped, I'll write out a more detailed reply in the morning.

[UserClone]

Well, I mean, I don't go around looking for trans-people, but I am freakishly good at spotting them without trying. I took one of those tests where you look at like 30 photos of women and guess which ones are trans, and got 100%.

Of course, that time I was trying. Would it help if I pointed out that I still think she's really pretty?

[noparlpf]

Hey everyone. I was disappointed with my results, so I'm sad.

I'm sorry. *hugs*


...ouch.
I was aiming for completely female. I thought I did a really good job, I liked that picture. Guess I didn't do as well as I thought :/
There goes my confidence. :smallfrown:

If it makes you feel better, I would have read you as female in that picture if I hadn't seen guy pics of you before. You two are pretty cute.


Guys I got my AA degree today!
Also I think I'm seeing The Avengers again tomorrow.
Also I stayed up all night watching Thor again, and it was better the second time.

[THAC0]

If it makes you feel better, I would have read you as female in that picture if I hadn't seen guy pics of you before. You two are pretty cute.


I've seen guy pictures of you before, and I went into the picture expecting to see a guy. I was seriously confused and wondering why you were posting a pic of two other girls for a while before I figured it out. So it was totally girl on my radar, even when I was expecting guy! :smallsmile:

ETA: "You" meaning Helio, of course!

[Eurus]

So, every once in a while I get a particularly weird thought, generally to take something with unfortunate implications and follow it to the farthest conclusions, fully acknowledging the aforementioned implications in the process.

Recently, I had a rather bizarre idea that ties into the "gay superheroes" thing. Let's say there's a fictional world where the "soul", so to speak, is a measurable type of energy. In particular, this energy comes in two types, let's call them Yin and Yang because why not.

Yin is usually found in females, and Yang is usually found in males. Some rare people generate both. Among males who generate Yin energy or females who generate Yang energy, or those who generate both, there is a higher percentage of trans/bi/pangendered and non-heteronormative people. There are some rare exceptions -- sometimes a heterosexual cismale person simply generates Yin energy, and research has not yet been able to determine why. The cause/effect relationship is unknown; it's impossible to say if a person's soul energy colors their gender/sexual identity, or if it's the other way around.

The catch is, people who generate both types of energy can blend them to produce psychic effects. Those who are particularly strong are often approached by agents of the government to act as a sort of special forces team, mainly defending against foreign nations and their psychic agents or the occasional Lovecraftian horror that breaches reality.

So yeah. I really have no idea where this train of thought came from, but it's just bizarre and potentially offensive enough to intrigue me.

[Oltharius]

So, every once in a while I get a particularly weird thought, generally to take something with unfortunate implications and follow it to the farthest conclusions, fully acknowledging the aforementioned implications in the process.

Recently, I had a rather bizarre idea that ties into the "gay superheroes" thing. Let's say there's a fictional world where the "soul", so to speak, is a measurable type of energy. In particular, this energy comes in two types, let's call them Yin and Yang because why not.

Yin is usually found in females, and Yang is usually found in males. Some rare people generate both. Among males who generate Yin energy or females who generate Yang energy, or those who generate both, there is a higher percentage of trans/bi/pangendered and non-heteronormative people. There are some rare exceptions -- sometimes a heterosexual cismale person simply generates Yin energy, and research has not yet been able to determine why. The cause/effect relationship is unknown; it's impossible to say if a person's soul energy colors their gender/sexual identity, or if it's the other way around.

The catch is, people who generate both types of energy can blend them to produce psychic effects. Those who are particularly strong are often approached by agents of the government to act as a sort of special forces team, mainly defending against foreign nations and their psychic agents or the occasional Lovecraftian horror that breaches reality.

So yeah. I really have no idea where this train of thought came from, but it's just bizarre and potentially offensive enough to intrigue me.
Huh. Well that's certainly a thing. :/

[KenderWizard]

I'm sorry. *hugs*


Guys I got my AA degree today!
Also I think I'm seeing The Avengers again tomorrow.
Also I stayed up all night watching Thor again, and it was better the second time.

Thank you for hugs. :smallsmile:

Congratulations!

Also, now I'm finished, I got up at 7am, I'm on my way to my friend's house with another friend (Friend, from the Firefly story) and my partner. We're going to watch Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America, then go to the Avengers in cinemas (for my fourth time) and I am SO EXCITED!! :smallbiggrin:

[Astrella]

Well, I mean, I don't go around looking for trans-people, but I am freakishly good at spotting them without trying. I took one of those tests where you look at like 30 photos of women and guess which ones are trans, and got 100%.

Of course, that time I was trying. Would it help if I pointed out that I still think she's really pretty?

's okay; I just think that "transspotting" is a stupid thing and doesn't really exist. I'm not sure if I'd trust a test like that, considering how society looks at trans people... also, toupee fallacy and whatnot.

Which lead me to this I guess; "passing" is a silly concept; everyone passes as their gender identity; because they are their gender identity. Considering that "passing" depends on the person observing since everyone has different gender preconceptions and all that... (Which is why I think "read as" is a so much better replacement for "passes", because it puts the action at the observer, and not the trans person.)


Guys I got my AA degree today!
Also I think I'm seeing The Avengers again tomorrow.
Also I stayed up all night watching Thor again, and it was better the second time.

Congrats! ... What's an AA degree?


Thank you for hugs. :smallsmile:

Congratulations!

Also, now I'm finished, I got up at 7am, I'm on my way to my friend's house with another friend (Friend, from the Firefly story) and my partner. We're going to watch Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America, then go to the Avengers in cinemas (for my fourth time) and I am SO EXCITED!! :smallbiggrin:

Have fun~ :smallsmile:

[AuroraF]

Meh, I think it might also be a deal of seeing what you want to see? Like, I had a period a while back were I kept "seeing" trans peeps everywhere. My point is I guess that everyone has a mix of traits, and that if you're not looking for "signs of transness" (and there aren't even any real ones like that.) you won't notice them.

In UserClone's defense, the same thoughts occurred to me. I'm a complete stranger here and never knew or saw Heliomance before, but the photo made me wonder. For a moment in my mind I actually forgot that this was an LGBT thread and what that probably meant for the photos posted here, as I was just skimming the forums through. Thus I automatically saw a straight couple but thought the person on the right had unusually soft skin as well as unusual clothing and hairstyle choices, neverthleless being a beautiful person. Obviously I realize that I was mistaken now about the gender!

No offense intended at all to you, Heliomance. I'm not sure if an opinion was asked for or not, but the photo was just sort of thrown there and the rest of the people here commented as well. Of course when making such assessments one has to be very sensitive and careful not to look through LGBT-tinted glasses for the better or the worse. Yet, one shouldn't lie to people to make them comfortable, as that's potentially very dangerous. I had a really bad experience in a support forum, where people asked for honesty but instead received sugarcoated compliments and consolation, while those few who dared to make objective assessments were immediately ostracized. There was an instance when someone was complimented for being feminine and passable read as female, the variability among women mentioned repeatedly, while many disagreed in silence including myself. A few weeks later the same person would post in the 'Bad News' thread about having been subjected to physical violence in a bad part of town where strangers recognized her as transgendered and acted upon that perception.

[Heliomance]

Oh well, more work needed, I guess. Shame, that's the first picture of myself I've seen that I can look at and see a female and not all the things wrong with it. I honestly thought that would pass as female without comment. Ho hum.

[Astrella]

A picture is different from reality as well, since, well, pictures don't move. :smalltongue: So "passability" and such will depend a lot on body language and the like too~

Edit: Not that what you are saying isn't very true as well, AuroraF.

[Caustic Soda]

Thanks for the hugs people, the sentiment helps me keep at it :smallsmile:.

Heliomance, if it helps I think you're very close to passing completely, about 95% of the way or so, and with the exception of your tell you come across as very feminine to me.

[noparlpf]

Thank you for hugs. :smallsmile:

Congratulations!

Also, now I'm finished, I got up at 7am, I'm on my way to my friend's house with another friend (Friend, from the Firefly story) and my partner. We're going to watch Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America, then go to the Avengers in cinemas (for my fourth time) and I am SO EXCITED!! :smallbiggrin:

I watched all of them in the week before I saw The Avengers. And I saw Thor again, and we're going to The Avengers again soon.


Congrats! ... What's an AA degree?

Associate in Arts. It's like a BA, just two fewer years. It's a two-year degree. Basically it's not worth much.

[Selpharia]

Heliomance, your picture is very pretty and I think you've done an excellent job presenting as a girl. I saw a picture of you as a guy so I can't be a neutral judge, but I thought you looked very cute. Your skin looks beautiful, did you make yourself up as well as change your wardrobe? I am also incredibly jealous of your cute hair and face shape, since my face is horribly long and my hair refuses to do anything but kind of sit in a pile on my head. I would agree with estimates others have made that you're 90-95% there.

[Ichneumon]

Okay guys, I feel the need to post again. Sorry if I'm not really contributing much, I do lurk a lot though. I just don't have much to add, I'm afraid.:smallsigh:

For those who don't remember, I'm dealing with some gender issues (having done so for quite some years, really feeling like a girl, think I might be trans. Haven't told it yet to anyone (except to my ex girlfriend, who didn't act at all surprised), also because I haven't really felt that strong a desire for SRS before (although if I could just press a button and change, I would). A few months ago, I decided to search help and found the contact information of a talk-group (don't know how to translate it in English) with professionals who just offer information and help and such, for people who have gender issues. Well, it took a while before I had gathered the courage to call them, but after a week, I finally decided to do it. Well, they acted really kindly and said I could make an appointment, but when they finally send me the information e-mail with a proposal for a date, I just... well, I just literary freaked out completely. I cried for hours. I was scared and didn't want to deal with this is such a manner, didn't feel I could handle it and I don't know why or if it makes sense, but I felt confronted, cornered, it all just felt like a bit drastic and a way to big a step and I backed out.

Now, things are back as they were, still living my life as a man, pretending nothing is wrong, and I'm feeling I might have made a wrong decision not taking that step. For the first time ever, I'm even starting to have 'gay' feelings for my male-friends (technically, that would make me straight, wouldn't it?) and I wish I could get children, I wish I could just wear longer hair (my father really makes a problem of anything that is a bit long for male-standards). I just wish there was a way I could express some of these feelings. :smallfrown:

[Astrella]

Okay guys, I feel the need to post again. Sorry if I'm not really contributing much, I do lurk a lot though. I just don't have much to add, I'm afraid.:smallsigh:

For those who don't remember, I'm dealing with some gender issues (having done so for quite some years, really feeling like a girl, think I might be trans. Haven't told it yet to anyone (except to my ex girlfriend, who didn't act at all surprised), also because I haven't really felt that strong a desire for SRS before (although if I could just press a button and change, I would). A few months ago, I decided to search help and found the contact information of a talk-group (don't know how to translate it in English) with professionals who just offer information and help and such, for people who have gender issues. Well, it took a while before I had gathered the courage to call them, but after a week, I finally decided to do it. Well, they acted really kindly and said I could make an appointment, but when they finally send me the information e-mail with a proposal for a date, I just... well, I just literary freaked out completely. I cried for hours. I was scared and didn't want to deal with this is such a manner, didn't feel I could handle it and I don't know why or if it makes sense, but I felt confronted, cornered, it all just felt like a bit drastic and a way to big a step and I backed out.

Now, things are back as they were, still living my life as a man, pretending nothing is wrong, and I'm feeling I might have made a wrong decision not taking that step. For the first time ever, I'm even starting to have 'gay' feelings for my male-friends (technically, that would make me straight, wouldn't it?) and I wish I could get children, I wish I could just wear longer hair (my father really makes a problem of anything that is a bit long for male-standards). I just wish there was a way I could express some of these feelings. :smallfrown:

First of; *hugs*.

I know how it can seem very overwhelming; last year, when had my first therapist appointment it took me half a year before I started going again this term because the reality of it all just overwhelmed me.

Hmm, checking out the group again would probably be a good idea; or just talking to people, it doesn't matter who or how as long as they'd be understanding. (I wouldn't mind doing so.) I've experienced that these things often lie buried deep inside, and vocalizing them is a good way of accepting them / figuring stuff out, you know? Reading stuff also helps, I'd check out r/asktransgender on Reddit maybe as well. And small, little bit of gender experimentation can give you a little bit better of a grasp too. Things like a bracelet, or some random bit of femmy clothing that you can try out (in secret if you have to), ... Roleplaying female characters helped me as well. Maybe friends, be they online / or in rl, using female pronouns for you if you feel like that? (My online friends doing that over voice chat and such really helped for me) ...

(What pronouns would you like us to use? I'd have no problem with using female ones; it'd probably be easier cause I think I've told you before that I was surprised to learn that your assigned gender was male. :smalltongue: )

But yeah, talking about it with people, experimenting with pronouns, expression, clothes and such seems like a good way to explore your gender a bit without the bigger step of "professional help". (Though in the end the group would probably be a good idea.)

*hugs again*

[Glass Mouse]

@Ichneumon: :smallfrown: First and foremost, *HUGS!*

I don't know much about this stuff, but I'm sure it's never too late. You can always, at any time you want, go back on track. If you need to wait until you're ready, take that time.
Still, the support group sounds completely non-commitment? Maybe it'd be a good way to sort through your doubts and confusions. It doesn't have to be this huge, unsurmountable step.
But I don't know. Our trans* residents will probably be able to help you much more.

In any case, I hope you figure it out soon. *hugs again*

[Heliomance]

Heliomance, your picture is very pretty and I think you've done an excellent job presenting as a girl. I saw a picture of you as a guy so I can't be a neutral judge, but I thought you looked very cute. Your skin looks beautiful, did you make yourself up as well as change your wardrobe? I am also incredibly jealous of your cute hair and face shape, since my face is horribly long and my hair refuses to do anything but kind of sit in a pile on my head. I would agree with estimates others have made that you're 90-95% there.

I didn't make myself up, my girlfriend and her friend made me up. I did my own foundation, they did eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara, along with lipstick and the merest touch of gold glittery blusher.

[supernerd]

So, every once in a while I get a particularly weird thought, generally to take something with unfortunate implications and follow it to the farthest conclusions, fully acknowledging the aforementioned implications in the process.

Recently, I had a rather bizarre idea that ties into the "gay superheroes" thing. Let's say there's a fictional world where the "soul", so to speak, is a measurable type of energy. In particular, this energy comes in two types, let's call them Yin and Yang because why not.

Yin is usually found in females, and Yang is usually found in males. Some rare people generate both. Among males who generate Yin energy or females who generate Yang energy, or those who generate both, there is a higher percentage of trans/bi/pangendered and non-heteronormative people. There are some rare exceptions -- sometimes a heterosexual cismale person simply generates Yin energy, and research has not yet been able to determine why. The cause/effect relationship is unknown; it's impossible to say if a person's soul energy colors their gender/sexual identity, or if it's the other way around.

The catch is, people who generate both types of energy can blend them to produce psychic effects. Those who are particularly strong are often approached by agents of the government to act as a sort of special forces team, mainly defending against foreign nations and their psychic agents or the occasional Lovecraftian horror that breaches reality.

So yeah. I really have no idea where this train of thought came from, but it's just bizarre and potentially offensive enough to intrigue me.

Sounds like my kind of psion. Love it! :smallsmile:

[Mina Kobold]

Okay guys, I feel the need to post again. Sorry if I'm not really contributing much, I do lurk a lot though. I just don't have much to add, I'm afraid.:smallsigh:

For those who don't remember, I'm dealing with some gender issues (having done so for quite some years, really feeling like a girl, think I might be trans. Haven't told it yet to anyone (except to my ex girlfriend, who didn't act at all surprised), also because I haven't really felt that strong a desire for SRS before (although if I could just press a button and change, I would). A few months ago, I decided to search help and found the contact information of a talk-group (don't know how to translate it in English) with professionals who just offer information and help and such, for people who have gender issues. Well, it took a while before I had gathered the courage to call them, but after a week, I finally decided to do it. Well, they acted really kindly and said I could make an appointment, but when they finally send me the information e-mail with a proposal for a date, I just... well, I just literary freaked out completely. I cried for hours. I was scared and didn't want to deal with this is such a manner, didn't feel I could handle it and I don't know why or if it makes sense, but I felt confronted, cornered, it all just felt like a bit drastic and a way to big a step and I backed out.

Now, things are back as they were, still living my life as a man, pretending nothing is wrong, and I'm feeling I might have made a wrong decision not taking that step. For the first time ever, I'm even starting to have 'gay' feelings for my male-friends (technically, that would make me straight, wouldn't it?) and I wish I could get children, I wish I could just wear longer hair (my father really makes a problem of anything that is a bit long for male-standards). I just wish there was a way I could express some of these feelings. :smallfrown:

*Hugs*

Taking big decisions can be very difficult and nobody expects you to be able to handle it easily. especially with something that might be buried behind so much social pressure and confusion. Take your time and talk to those you feel you can, it might be a lot more help than a talk group right now. :smallsmile:

It has already been said much better, but you can always rethink that decision later. The group has not disappeared and you might feel more ready for checking it out later. Or you might be fine without it! It is your life, after all, nobody else can decide how you should explore it. :smallsmile:

[Ichneumon]

Thanks for all the support. :smallsmile:

Seriously, this has to be one of the best places on the internet.


I know how it can seem very overwhelming; last year, when had my first therapist appointment it took me half a year before I started going again this term because the reality of it all just overwhelmed me.

Sounds very recognizable. :smalltongue:



Hmm, checking out the group again would probably be a good idea; or just talking to people, it doesn't matter who or how as long as they'd be understanding. (I wouldn't mind doing so.) I've experienced that these things often lie buried deep inside, and vocalizing them is a good way of accepting them / figuring stuff out, you know? Reading stuff also helps, I'd check out r/asktransgender on Reddit maybe as well. And small, little bit of gender experimentation can give you a little bit better of a grasp too. Things like a bracelet, or some random bit of femmy clothing that you can try out (in secret if you have to), ... Roleplaying female characters helped me as well. Maybe friends, be they online / or in rl, using female pronouns for you if you feel like that? (My online friends doing that over voice chat and such really helped for me) ...

Those are all very good ideas. Thanks! And I know, contacting that group (or some other professional help) would be a good idea. In the meanwhile, I'm going to take your advise and am going to experiment with some little feminine things, like you suggested. :smallsmile:


(What pronouns would you like us to use? I'd have no problem with using female ones; it'd probably be easier cause I think I've told you before that I was surprised to learn that your assigned gender was male. :smalltongue: )

That would be great, female ones, that is.:smallredface:


But yeah, talking about it with people, experimenting with pronouns, expression, clothes and such seems like a good way to explore your gender a bit without the bigger step of "professional help". (Though in the end the group would probably be a good idea.)


Best advise I heard up to this point. And yes, talking helps. It's unbelievable how great I feel this morning, just because of having an outlet like this forum.


@Ichneumon: :smallfrown: First and foremost, *HUGS!*

I don't know much about this stuff, but I'm sure it's never too late. You can always, at any time you want, go back on track. If you need to wait until you're ready, take that time.
Still, the support group sounds completely non-commitment? Maybe it'd be a good way to sort through your doubts and confusions. It doesn't have to be this huge, unsurmountable step.
But I don't know. Our trans* residents will probably be able to help you much more.

In any case, I hope you figure it out soon. *hugs again*

Thanks! :smallsmile:


*Hugs*

Taking big decisions can be very difficult and nobody expects you to be able to handle it easily. especially with something that might be buried behind so much social pressure and confusion. Take your time and talk to those you feel you can, it might be a lot more help than a talk group right now. :smallsmile:

It has already been said much better, but you can always rethink that decision later. The group has not disappeared and you might feel more ready for checking it out later. Or you might be fine without it! It is your life, after all, nobody else can decide how you should explore it. :smallsmile:

It means a lot for me, thanks. You are right. I'm just not used to me being all.. eh.. "not being able to handle something". You know what I mean? I guess I just walked against such a big wall, metaphorically. I'm not really used to it. :smallsmile:

[Castaras]

Ichneumon:

I remember when everyone was going ":O What gender is that person!". Not at all surprised you're thinking of yourself as female.

I have no idea if this helps or not - but have you tried something as simple as changing your gender on these forums to female? Could be a minor step to help you get the courage to get to one of these meeting things. :smallsmile:

[Arachu]

...ouch.
I was aiming for completely female. I thought I did a really good job, I liked that picture. Guess I didn't do as well as I thought :/
There goes my confidence. :smallfrown:

*Hugs* Actually, you look really girly in that - the kind of facial structure that looks masculine on a male looks striking on a female. There's just a bit of androgyny, and that's from the camera highlighting your features a bit. :smallsmile:

Do you mind if I ask how you keep your lips so smooth? Mine are always trying to chap or something. >.<


Musashi's story makes me feel better about something's and worse about others. Had an asexual girlfriend once, which I didn't take too kindly. Id like to think its situational, but... Ah well. Focus on the positive yes?

noooo that's not what I meant ><
And in twenty minutes I haven't put down anything other than backpedaling.

*Hugs*


Because he's a crafty Swedish ninja. It's common knowledge.

>.>
<.<

http://www.justsaypictures.com/images/viking-ninja-27u7.jpg

The caption doesn't really make sense in this context, but at least I know who to go to if I ever tick off giant samurai~


hope my 2 cents help :smallsmile: and ofcourse hugs for the hug god(ess?) :smallamused:

Break their ice! >:3

As Qaera put it, context is for the week. :smalltongue:


In LGBTA cartoon news, I am watching Batman: The Animated Series. And wow. Harley Quinn, you fox! Kissing Bruce Wayne to make Poison Ivy jealous. This show is full of unsubtle hints. It is also seven kinds of amazing.
EDIT: Oh wait. There's a Christmas episode that basicly starts with Harley in underwear on a hotel bed, begging Ivy to go have some "holiday fun". :smallredface:

W-where was I for that? I need to watch more Batman. :smallredface:


So, I'm almost an Eagle Scout. All I have left is my project, and I had a short talk with our Life-to-Eagle adult person guy. I rather like the guy, but I don't know what his reaction would be to the following.

He said to choose something for my Eagle Project that I'm excited about, something that I want to do. My first thought was to do something for an LGBTA+ center nearby. Of course I'd have to find said center first.

Anyway following related story sploilered for almost political content, keyword almost:
I asked our outgoing junior who's really cool, but pretty conservative, though he doesn't use it to consciously hurt someone.

Anyway, so I ask him if I should do my Eagle Project for an organization that helps atheists and/or gays. His response was to tell me that atheists were the least trusted group even behind Nazis. And then continued to say that homosexuality was a sin. All this time my retorts had been "And?" or "So?" or "And the answer to my question was?"

He then proceeded to make an analogy, and asked me my opinions on incest. He asked if I loved my sister and she loved me(putting emphasis on the word "loved" in that swingy way, when someone is trying to say a single word seductively and fails miserably) that I should be allowed to marry her and have kids. My response, "marriage, but not procreation because of risk of birth defects in the child." his response, "I see..." combined with a raised eyebrow.

And when I asked how that answered my question, he proceeded to repeat his "argument".

So I'm not sure if I should, I want to, but I also don't want to be kicked out. I can pull a bunch of fecal matter out of my anus in the form of a story about my best friend who moved to Texas and got bullied for being gay(who doesn't exist) or I could talk about your guys' stories if you let me. Or I could just talk from the heart about crossing metaphorical bridges and how I owe it to my non-cisheteronormative friends to help in whatever small way I can.

I just don't know if I could keep my Board of Review from knowing I'm gay and consequently getting kicked out.

*Hugs*


Why yes. Yes I am. I like the idea of having a rebellious phase. My "closet syndrome" was a detachment from my family and a phobia of stepping out of line that had been developing for years.

*More hugs*


Anyway, I have a question (spoilered for length and confusion :s): Is it "normal" (as much as that means anything), as a cisperson, to be kind of bothered by one's sexual characteristics and honestly think one would be more comfortable without them? Because while I'm fairly sure I don't experience actual gender dysphoria (though I'm not really aware enough of how that might feel to be absolutely sure), since realising that I find sex kind of disgusting (as it involves me! Other people can do whatever consensual acts they wish), am asexual and don't intend to have sex if I can avoid it anyway I've begun to wonder what the point of having a basically useless organ is. All it does is demand pointless and annoying things from me (I still have a libido, though would definitely be happier if I didn't) and look ugly. And then there's body and facial hair which, while not awful, are still counter to my preferred body image... It doesn't bother me lots, and I'm almost certain removing these things would be something I should be paying for than being provided. But, well, if I were given the chance I'd discard them in a heartbeat.
I'm asking here because I don't know if most people even consider such things, because I would hope any transpeople (or specifically neutrois people, if we have any?) here would be happy to educate me on gender dysphoria and whether or not this is it and because I would like to think that everyone here would be understanding. :smallredface:

*Raises finger (where did that gesture come from, anyway? :smallconfused: * You could be agender. :smallsmile:

Though, considering how one can be a girl preferring male configuration or boy preferring female you might also be genderqueer~


Welcome, new people, nice to have you *waves*, don't worry too much about having little to say, my posts are mostly friendly fluff, I leave the more thought-provoking posting for Kenderwizard and the various members of her hive mind :smallbiggrin:. *Hugs* for everyone who wants them, especially KenderWizard :smallsmile:. I'm kinda stressed out at the moment, so I could do with some hugs myself, but for better or for worse it'll be sorted out by the end of next week when I've handed in my project.

*Hugs* I'm sure it'll go well~ :smallsmile:


Okay guys, I feel the need to post again. Sorry if I'm not really contributing much, I do lurk a lot though. I just don't have much to add, I'm afraid.:smallsigh:

For those who don't remember, I'm dealing with some gender issues (having done so for quite some years, really feeling like a girl, think I might be trans. Haven't told it yet to anyone (except to my ex girlfriend, who didn't act at all surprised), also because I haven't really felt that strong a desire for SRS before (although if I could just press a button and change, I would). A few months ago, I decided to search help and found the contact information of a talk-group (don't know how to translate it in English) with professionals who just offer information and help and such, for people who have gender issues. Well, it took a while before I had gathered the courage to call them, but after a week, I finally decided to do it. Well, they acted really kindly and said I could make an appointment, but when they finally send me the information e-mail with a proposal for a date, I just... well, I just literary freaked out completely. I cried for hours. I was scared and didn't want to deal with this is such a manner, didn't feel I could handle it and I don't know why or if it makes sense, but I felt confronted, cornered, it all just felt like a bit drastic and a way to big a step and I backed out.

Now, things are back as they were, still living my life as a man, pretending nothing is wrong, and I'm feeling I might have made a wrong decision not taking that step. For the first time ever, I'm even starting to have 'gay' feelings for my male-friends (technically, that would make me straight, wouldn't it?) and I wish I could get children, I wish I could just wear longer hair (my father really makes a problem of anything that is a bit long for male-standards). I just wish there was a way I could express some of these feelings. :smallfrown:

*So many hugs*

If it helps, you can still be a mom someday. :smallsmile:


So, every once in a while I get a particularly weird thought, generally to take something with unfortunate implications and follow it to the farthest conclusions, fully acknowledging the aforementioned implications in the process.

Recently, I had a rather bizarre idea that ties into the "gay superheroes" thing. Let's say there's a fictional world where the "soul", so to speak, is a measurable type of energy. In particular, this energy comes in two types, let's call them Yin and Yang because why not.

Yin is usually found in females, and Yang is usually found in males. Some rare people generate both. Among males who generate Yin energy or females who generate Yang energy, or those who generate both, there is a higher percentage of trans/bi/pangendered and non-heteronormative people. There are some rare exceptions -- sometimes a heterosexual cismale person simply generates Yin energy, and research has not yet been able to determine why. The cause/effect relationship is unknown; it's impossible to say if a person's soul energy colors their gender/sexual identity, or if it's the other way around.

The catch is, people who generate both types of energy can blend them to produce psychic effects. Those who are particularly strong are often approached by agents of the government to act as a sort of special forces team, mainly defending against foreign nations and their psychic agents or the occasional Lovecraftian horror that breaches reality.

So yeah. I really have no idea where this train of thought came from, but it's just bizarre and potentially offensive enough to intrigue me.

Love(craft) it. :smalltongue: :smallbiggrin:


~Bianca

[Ichneumon]

I have no idea if this helps or not - but have you tried something as simple as changing your gender on these forums to female? Could be a minor step to help you get the courage to get to one of these meeting things. :smallsmile:

Done. :smallsmile:



*So many hugs*

If it helps, you can still be a mom someday. :smallsmile:



Thanks, but what? :smallconfused:
Are you talking about adoption? If not... that's not possible, right?

It would be amazing though, if it was... :smalltongue:

[Jukebox Hero]

Done. :smallsmile:



Thanks, but what? :smallconfused:
Are you talking about adoption? Else... that's not possible, right?

It would be amazing though, if it was... :smalltongue:

Hello, I posted once on the last forum, but if you'll allow me to make a small interjection, you could go for artificial insemination. I mean, I'm not that familiar with the process (at all), but if you're not against that sort of thing, then it might work. Sorry if I'm wayy off :smallfrown:.....but adoption's also awesome. There are a lot of babies that need love.

side note: If you ever do go opt for adoption...try China, they have a lot of girls that could use a mom (or two).:smallsmile:

[Ichneumon]

Oh, I'm not against adoption, at all, please don't understand me wrong. :smallsmile:
I'd love to have children some day, don't really care about the genetics.

EDIT: But just to clarify, I'm not at all thinking about having children right now, one way or another.

[Arachu]

Thanks, but what? :smallconfused:
Are you talking about adoption? If not... that's not possible, right?

It would be amazing though, if it was... :smalltongue:

I did mean adoption/insemination, but act (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uterus_transplantation)ual (http://www.rt.com/news/first-uterus-surgery-success-845/)ly (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/w_ParentingResource/daughter-undergo-transplant-mothers-womb/story?id=13830608#.T7o1EEXmMfU)... :smallhopeful:


~Bianca

[Jukebox Hero]

I did mean adoption/insemination, but act (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uterus_transplantation)ual (http://www.rt.com/news/first-uterus-surgery-success-845/)ly (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/w_ParentingResource/daughter-undergo-transplant-mothers-womb/story?id=13830608#.T7o1EEXmMfU)... :smallhopeful:


~Bianca

This is kinda a side note, but the way you did those links, having three in one word, was amazing. Made me go, "Woahhhhh"

[Arachu]

This is kinda a side note, but the way you did those links, having three in one word, was amazing. Made me go, "Woahhhhh"

Thanks. :smallredface:

... I totally ripped it off from TVTropes, though~ :smalltongue:


~Bianca

[AuroraF]

I suppose this is kind of why Asta Kask invited me here;

Done. :smallsmile:



Thanks, but what? :smallconfused:
Are you talking about adoption? If not... that's not possible, right?

It would be amazing though, if it was... :smalltongue:
I'm not sure how old you are, but I'd assume quite young if your dad is able to dictate your hair length. If you're in your early 20s or younger, there's a chance you could become a mother through pregnancy in the future. This is what I aspire towards as well and I'll be 23 tomorrow. There's a team researching uterus transplantation in Sweden and they're ready for human trials this year. Right now there's a requirement that the receipient has healthy ovaries and is 37 years old or younger, but these are subject to change in the future. I contacted the surgeon and professor in charge of the project and he says it's a clinical possibility for me, using donor eggs, but also mentioning that it might be possible to use my frozen semen to have my own eggs eventually. As far as I understood, SRS is a requirement in order for a uterus transplant on a trans girl to be anatomically and biologically feasible.

[Rawhide]

Ichneumon:

I remember when everyone was going ":O What gender is that person!". Not at all surprised you're thinking of yourself as female.

I have no idea if this helps or not - but have you tried something as simple as changing your gender on these forums to female? Could be a minor step to help you get the courage to get to one of these meeting things. :smallsmile:

Alternatively, the male to female icon, if you want to confront it head on.

[golentan]

I suppose this is kind of why Asta Kask invited me here;

I'm not sure how old you are, but I'd assume quite young if your dad is able to dictate your hair length. If you're in your early 20s or younger, there's a chance you could become a mother through pregnancy in the future. This is what I aspire towards as well and I'll be 23 tomorrow. There's a team researching uterus transplantation in Sweden and they're ready for human trials this year. Right now there's a requirement that the receipient has healthy ovaries and is 37 years old or younger, but these are subject to change in the future. I contacted the surgeon and professor in charge of the project and he says it's a clinical possibility for me, using donor eggs, but also mentioning that it might be possible to use my frozen semen to have my own eggs eventually. As far as I understood, SRS is a requirement in order for a uterus transplant on a trans girl to be anatomically and biologically feasible.

I still have trouble with the idea of people wanting to be pregnant when there are alternatives. As I remember, the pain is quite intense.

Then again, I was last pregnant before the availability of epidurals.

[KenderWizard]

I suppose this is kind of why Asta Kask invited me here;

I'm not sure how old you are, but I'd assume quite young if your dad is able to dictate your hair length. If you're in your early 20s or younger, there's a chance you could become a mother through pregnancy in the future. This is what I aspire towards as well and I'll be 23 tomorrow. There's a team researching uterus transplantation in Sweden and they're ready for human trials this year. Right now there's a requirement that the receipient has healthy ovaries and is 37 years old or younger, but these are subject to change in the future. I contacted the surgeon and professor in charge of the project and he says it's a clinical possibility for me, using donor eggs, but also mentioning that it might be possible to use my frozen semen to have my own eggs eventually. As far as I understood, SRS is a requirement in order for a uterus transplant on a trans girl to be anatomically and biologically feasible.

Happy birthday tomorrow and good luck with your long-term baby-making plan!


I still have trouble with the idea of people wanting to be pregnant when there are alternatives. As I remember, the pain is quite intense.

Then again, I was last pregnant before the availability of epidurals.

But it's SO COOL. I could BUILD A PERSON IN MY TUMMY! Also, there are lots of different ways birth itself can go down, it's possible to have a non-traumatic birth without an epidural and it's also possible for an epidural to cause problems.

[Ichneumon]

Alternatively, the male to female icon, if you want to confront it head on.

Oh, right, that possible as well. That's new right? First time I've seen that on any forum. Was it difficult to implement?

[ScionoftheVoid]

*Raises finger (where did that gesture come from, anyway? :smallconfused: * You could be agender. :smallsmile:

Though, considering how one can be a girl preferring male configuration or boy preferring female you might also be genderqueer~

~Bianca

I do weird gestures all the time, nothing to worry about (most notably raising my hand to speak in casual conversation and using my little finger to point at things instead of my index... I'm weird and not good with this whole "social interaction" dealie, arright?).
However, getting to the point, I don't think I'm agender... But I've been intrigued by the idea of genderqueer ever since I found out that was a thing... My basic thoughts are that I'm close enough to male most of the time that I didn't feel the need to identify as anything else. And yet, having a physically male body is mildly to irritatingly disgusting. :smallconfused: I'm gonna talk to my counsellor about it on Thursday, and I'm probably going to bring it up the next time I see my doctor (I need to get an appointment to see if there's anything to be done about the libido thing, at least, anyway, so...). I'll probably also try to have a chat with my best friend about it as soon as I can, too (hooray for open-minded and caring best friends! :smallbiggrin: :smallredface:).


Also, *hugs* for Ichneumon! I hope you can find some method of expression that will work for you.

[Arachu]

I still have trouble with the idea of people wanting to be pregnant when there are alternatives. As I remember, the pain is quite intense.

Then again, I was last pregnant before the availability of epidurals.

I don't really get it either. I chalk it up to instinct or something. :shrug:


I do weird gestures all the time, nothing to worry about (most notably raising my hand to speak in casual conversation and using my little finger to point at things instead of my index... I'm weird and not good with this whole "social interaction" dealie, arright?).
However, getting to the point, I don't think I'm agender... But I've been intrigued by the idea of genderqueer ever since I found out that was a thing... My basic thoughts are that I'm close enough to male most of the time that I didn't feel the need to identify as anything else. And yet, having a physically male body is mildly to irritatingly disgusting. :smallconfused: I'm gonna talk to my counsellor about it on Thursday, and I'm probably going to bring it up the next time I see my doctor (I need to get an appointment to see if there's anything to be done about the libido thing, at least, anyway, so...). I'll probably also try to have a chat with my best friend about it as soon as I can, too (hooray for open-minded and caring best friends! :smallbiggrin: :smallredface:).

I used to point at things using my middle finger all the time. I also used my ring and pinky fingers, for that matter... Oh, and I can snap with all of my fingers. Took me all of high school (and a lot of weirded-out stares) to figure out how to do it reasonably loud, but now I can make simple rythyms. :smalltongue:

*Hugs* I hope you sort everything out well~ :smallsmile:


~Bianca

[ScionoftheVoid]

I used to point at things using my middle finger all the time. I also used my ring and pinky fingers, for that matter... Oh, and I can snap with all of my fingers. Took me all of high school (and a lot of weirded-out stares) to figure out how to do it reasonably loud, but now I can make simple rythyms. :smalltongue:

*Hugs* I hope you sort everything out well~ :smallsmile:


~Bianca

Heh, nice! I can hardly snap my fingers normally on the one hand I can do it at all...

*returns hugs* Thank you! :smallsmile:

[noparlpf]

I used to be able to snap with three fingers on my right hand, and pretty loudly. Then I screwed up my hand and snapping at all hurts.

[Arachu]

I've also snapped off of other things - my knees, my chin, the thumb on the opposite hand... I can even use my thumbs to snap with both of them, but that doesn't make very much noise because it has to travel further to strike the actual palm. :B

... I had a lot of free time in school. :smalltongue:

I think I used to use opposite fingers too, but my nails (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DifficultButAwesome) have at least doubled in length since then... >.>


I used to be able to snap with three fingers on my right hand, and pretty loudly. Then I screwed up my hand and snapping at all hurts.

*So many hugs*

~Bianca

[Oltharius]

I suppose this is kind of why Asta Kask invited me here;

I'm not sure how old you are, but I'd assume quite young if your dad is able to dictate your hair length. If you're in your early 20s or younger, there's a chance you could become a mother through pregnancy in the future. This is what I aspire towards as well and I'll be 23 tomorrow. There's a team researching uterus transplantation in Sweden and they're ready for human trials this year. Right now there's a requirement that the receipient has healthy ovaries and is 37 years old or younger, but these are subject to change in the future. I contacted the surgeon and professor in charge of the project and he says it's a clinical possibility for me, using donor eggs, but also mentioning that it might be possible to use my frozen semen to have my own eggs eventually. As far as I understood, SRS is a requirement in order for a uterus transplant on a trans girl to be anatomically and biologically feasible.
Wow. I just love how science keeps advancing every day. I try to keep on top of it all, but then I hear a story like this that I didn't think was even possible. Nice.

[AuroraF]

I still have trouble with the idea of people wanting to be pregnant when there are alternatives. As I remember, the pain is quite intense.

Then again, I was last pregnant before the availability of epidurals.
I honestly wouldn't mind enduring some pain for the ability to grow new life inside me and have my own baby. As far birth goes though, it'd have to be a c-section anyway, since they won't risk rupturing the surgical connections of the uterus or take chances with a possibly too cramped pelvic opening. I just wish I'd get to be awake during it and hold that baby right after it comes out...

[MartytheBioGuy]

Guys, I'm home from tour and there's still a few days before I head to camp. And I'm beginning to remember why I spend so little time around my dad. It's terrifying to be in this house, and it's degrading. I want to be somewhere that makes me feel okay to be myself.

[Arachu]

Guys, I'm home from tour and there's still a few days before I head to camp. And I'm beginning to remember why I spend so little time around my dad. It's terrifying to be in this house, and it's degrading. I want to be somewhere that makes me feel okay to be myself.

*So many hugs*


~Bianca

[Ichneumon]

Guys, I'm home from tour and there's still a few days before I head to camp. And I'm beginning to remember why I spend so little time around my dad. It's terrifying to be in this house, and it's degrading. I want to be somewhere that makes me feel okay to be myself.

That just sounds aweful. How long till you'll have to return home after camp?

*hugs*

[Qaera]

so dysphoria sucks

~ ♅

[MartytheBioGuy]

That just sounds aweful. How long till you'll have to return home after camp?

*hugs*

I'm at camp all summer, thankfully, as a counselor. Then I'll be spending time at my fiancée's in Idaho. I'm not spending that much time at home, really, but any time feels like too much now that I know what I am. I don't want to feel afraid like this anymore. I haven't felt this afraid since high school.

[Mystic Muse]

Well, I've been hoping to come out soon. I believe somebody mentioned that the best time would be when I can sit down with the people I plan on telling for an hour or two without interruptions, especially interruptions from the people I don't plan on telling.

It sounds like my sister may be moving out soon, and my dad might be spending a somewhat long time away from home (A week or two) which will just leave my brother and my mom, and I can talk to my mom about it after my brother goes to bed.

If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.

The main drawbacks I see are thus.
1. Alienation from portions of my family (This is going to happen, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion.)
2. I'll have to stop going to my current D&D group. No matter how much I'd like it if they did, I'm fairly certain they won't accept this.

Naturally, these are personal drawbacks as opposed to general widespread ones.

[Lady Serpentine]

If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.



It would probably help if we knew more about your mom. Trying to come up with a list of things that would appeal to someone is tricky even when you know someone...

[Mystic Muse]

It would probably help if we knew more about your mom. Trying to come up with a list of things that would appeal to someone is tricky even when you know someone...

Anything in particular I should try and mention?

[Oltharius]

I honestly wouldn't mind enduring some pain for the ability to grow new life inside me and have my own baby. As far birth goes though, it'd have to be a c-section anyway, since they won't risk rupturing the surgical connections of the uterus or take chances with a possibly too cramped pelvic opening. I just wish I'd get to be awake during it and hold that baby right after it comes out...
Sometimes I think it would be nice, too. I'm still rather young, so I'm not completely sold on the idea of children yet, but I do kind of wish I could make one myself.


If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.
Honestly, that just seems kind of deceptive to me, trying to "sell the idea" to her. Just tell her that this is who you are, and that should be enough. If your mom truly cares about you, she shouldn't need convincing. Of course, it's a lot easier to say that than confront it. But still, I'd just tell her that this is who you are. You're coming out, not trying to sell a vacuum cleaner. :P

[Castaras]

Could mention something like "It doesn't matter what gender I am, or what I've got/am wanting between my legs, I'm still the same person who loves you and dad dearly."

[supernerd]

Guys, I'm home from tour and there's still a few days before I head to camp. And I'm beginning to remember why I spend so little time around my dad. It's terrifying to be in this house, and it's degrading. I want to be somewhere that makes me feel okay to be myself.


I'm at camp all summer, thankfully, as a counselor. Then I'll be spending time at my fiancée's in Idaho. I'm not spending that much time at home, really, but any time feels like too much now that I know what I am. I don't want to feel afraid like this anymore. I haven't felt this afraid since high school.

*so much hugs for you!* I live in a rather accepting little suburb in the Great Plains, and I'm lucky I'm not like fifty some miles further out where stereotypical "country attitudes" prevail. Home is the only place I feel like I have to hide. Sure there are people who don't like my lifestyle at school, but the only crap I get is minimal, in a school of over 4000 no one goes out of their way to give you feces unless they have a personal grudge on you, and I'm not trying to flaunt my sexuality, and that helps me. My parents are trying to understand and accept it. And that really does help.

[turkishproverb]

I'm at camp all summer, thankfully, as a counselor. Then I'll be spending time at my fiancée's in Idaho. I'm not spending that much time at home, really, but any time feels like too much now that I know what I am. I don't want to feel afraid like this anymore. I haven't felt this afraid since high school.

*hugs*

Sorry. All I can say is we're here to listen.

[Carecalmo]

so dysphoria sucks

~ ♅

*hugs!*
Were you in the discussion some (few? many?) threads back about different things to do during dysphoria attacks? I can't really find it, but it had some good things. I mostly remember long showers, physical exercize and.. chocolate?
I hope you're feeling better now.


Anything in particular I should try and mention?

Hm. There are many things to talk about, but it really depends on what you feel is important and your mother is like. I tried googling for trans coming out guides, but I don't really know how I feel about them. Many of them read a bit like checklists, and others were quite.. jaded, in how they described the struggle.
I thought this was pretty neat: http://www.ohio.edu/lgbt/resources/transcomingouttoparents.cfm - it describes some typical stages that parents go through when their kid comes out - even though it deals with LGB and not T coming out, maybe you can use it?


I'm at camp all summer, thankfully, as a counselor. Then I'll be spending time at my fiancée's in Idaho. I'm not spending that much time at home, really, but any time feels like too much now that I know what I am. I don't want to feel afraid like this anymore. I haven't felt this afraid since high school.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this again. : (
Try and remember that it's just for now - and that we're here to listen, as turkishproverb says.
*hugs? hugs.*

And hey all!
I confronted my ex about my dreams and - voila - my subconscious really is a master detective. Clearing the air about that, and a few other things, really helped my peace of mind.

Of course, it helps a lot that the sun is screaming mercilessly down on Copenhagen and everybody spends all day summering, simmering in the park. And nobody wears pants. (but they do wear shorts :smalltongue:)

[Mina Kobold]

Guys, I'm home from tour and there's still a few days before I head to camp. And I'm beginning to remember why I spend so little time around my dad. It's terrifying to be in this house, and it's degrading. I want to be somewhere that makes me feel okay to be myself.

*Hugs*

Have you considered looking for hotels in the area while you are home? Would that make sense? ^_^'


so dysphoria sucks

~ ♅

*Hugs*


Well, I've been hoping to come out soon. I believe somebody mentioned that the best time would be when I can sit down with the people I plan on telling for an hour or two without interruptions, especially interruptions from the people I don't plan on telling.

It sounds like my sister may be moving out soon, and my dad might be spending a somewhat long time away from home (A week or two) which will just leave my brother and my mom, and I can talk to my mom about it after my brother goes to bed.

If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.

The main drawbacks I see are thus.
1. Alienation from portions of my family (This is going to happen, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion.)
2. I'll have to stop going to my current D&D group. No matter how much I'd like it if they did, I'm fairly certain they won't accept this.

Naturally, these are personal drawbacks as opposed to general widespread ones.

Being true to yourself is a big positive. Might be worth pointing out that you are willing to trust them and be truthful with them, that is quite important to do in families. The fact that you are willing to work to achieve your dreams and go against the obstacles of life might be a positive too. :smallsmile:

Hope some of that helps, I am not particularly good at explaining things and providing positives. :smallredface:



And hey all!
I confronted my ex about my dreams and - voila - my subconscious really is a master detective. Clearing the air about that, and a few other things, really helped my peace of mind.

Of course, it helps a lot that the sun is screaming mercilessly down on Copenhagen and everybody spends all day summering, simmering in the park. And nobody wears pants. (but they do wear shorts :smalltongue:)

I wish my subconsciousness was a master detective. At the moment, it appears to believe it is Salvador Dali. X3

You can survive extended periods of time in the Deathrays of the Sun? By my scimitar! O_O

*Stares in awe from the shady luxury of a coffin*

[KenderWizard]

I honestly wouldn't mind enduring some pain for the ability to grow new life inside me and have my own baby. As far birth goes though, it'd have to be a c-section anyway, since they won't risk rupturing the surgical connections of the uterus or take chances with a possibly too cramped pelvic opening. I just wish I'd get to be awake during it and hold that baby right after it comes out...

Without complications, you'd have the baby in your arms before you know it. And then you'll have the whole rest of your life, you know. :smallsmile: I really hope they get a hold on how to do this.


so dysphoria sucks

~ ♅

So I hear. *hugs*




If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.


Okay, so, if I was a mother and I had my child sit down to tell me they were trans, these are the things I'd like to know:
- how long this has been going on for
- if they've talked to anyone else
- if they know what I need to do to support them
- any information or support services they know of

As for pros, I think the only one that should really matter is that you are unhappy living a lie and accepting your identity as trans is the only way to be happy with yourself. I hope your mom won't need a list of pros, but it could be convenient if she wants a daughter. :smalltongue: I think a good pro would be that you think going on this journey together could bring you closer. Parents are frightened of their children having big difficult secrets hidden from them. Point out that you trust her and you need and want her help, if that's true. Also, remember she's a human too, parents aren't magic like they seem when we're little children. She might need time to process it. I think the important part is to reassure one another that you're still parents and child and you still love one another.

This is all coming from my experiences as a child and as a potential parent, and telling my parents difficult things. I'm not trans, so I don't have personal experience with that conversation.

[noparlpf]

Guys, I'm home from tour and there's still a few days before I head to camp. And I'm beginning to remember why I spend so little time around my dad. It's terrifying to be in this house, and it's degrading. I want to be somewhere that makes me feel okay to be myself.

That stinks. My sympathies.


Well, I've been hoping to come out soon. I believe somebody mentioned that the best time would be when I can sit down with the people I plan on telling for an hour or two without interruptions, especially interruptions from the people I don't plan on telling.

It sounds like my sister may be moving out soon, and my dad might be spending a somewhat long time away from home (A week or two) which will just leave my brother and my mom, and I can talk to my mom about it after my brother goes to bed.

If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.

The main drawbacks I see are thus.
1. Alienation from portions of my family (This is going to happen, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion.)
2. I'll have to stop going to my current D&D group. No matter how much I'd like it if they did, I'm fairly certain they won't accept this.

Naturally, these are personal drawbacks as opposed to general widespread ones.

I don't really see why pros are necessary. You're not trying to sell her something. You're trying to explain to her something that's been around for a long time. The only pro I can think of is that you won't be unhappy living with yourself anymore. That ought to be good enough for a parent.

[MartytheBioGuy]

*Hugs*

Have you considered looking for hotels in the area while you are home? Would that make sense? ^_^'

Unfortunately, until I get married in January, I'm still dependent on my family financially. I feel very trapped by it all.

EDIT: And of course, thanks all for the hugs and support. I really appreciate it, it's honestly making this more bearable.

[Ichneumon]

Congratulations on getting married, by the way! At least that's something to look forward too. :smallsmile:

[golentan]

So, in comedic news my girlfriend and I figured out we're a hyena couple. (http://humon.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d4v2iui)

[Serpentine]

Oh noes! Hyenas are TERRIFYING from a sexual point of view! D:

[The Succubus]

Hyenas also have one of the most powerful bite pressures of any land mammal, so avoid those hickeys folks! oO

[Ichneumon]

Well, I've been hoping to come out soon. I believe somebody mentioned that the best time would be when I can sit down with the people I plan on telling for an hour or two without interruptions, especially interruptions from the people I don't plan on telling.

It sounds like my sister may be moving out soon, and my dad might be spending a somewhat long time away from home (A week or two) which will just leave my brother and my mom, and I can talk to my mom about it after my brother goes to bed.

If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.

The main drawbacks I see are thus.
1. Alienation from portions of my family (This is going to happen, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion.)
2. I'll have to stop going to my current D&D group. No matter how much I'd like it if they did, I'm fairly certain they won't accept this.

Naturally, these are personal drawbacks as opposed to general widespread ones.

Good luck. I can't give you much advise, but I came across this (http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=1301) website that seems to offer a lot of information for both parents and their transgender children. Don't know if it's anything good though.:smallsmile:

[golentan]

Hyenas also have one of the most powerful bite pressures of any land mammal, so avoid those hickeys folks! oO

Well, she did once chew on my shin...

[Mono Vertigo]

Hah, that's quite a bit like my couple.
And hyenas are underrated creatures.

In more relevant news, in my last argument with my mother, she more or less said she expected praise for accepting my boyfriend, especially the way transgender people are treated nowadays.
For once, I completely embrace everything I've read from certain sources, and felt like asking back "so what, you want a medal for acting like a decent human being?!", but since it was not the actual topic, and the discussion was heated enough as is, sadly, I did not. :smallannoyed:
No, please, nobody point out I'd want a reward for pointing that out. I don't. I just wanted to tell something that's relevant to the thread for once. Yes, I'm defensive, that's because I've been arguing for over 2 hours with my mother, thank you.

[Astrella]

Best advise I heard up to this point. And yes, talking helps. It's unbelievable how great I feel this morning, just because of having an outlet like this forum.

Aww, that's good. :smallsmile:


It means a lot for me, thanks. You are right. I'm just not used to me being all.. eh.. "not being able to handle something". You know what I mean? I guess I just walked against such a big wall, metaphorically. I'm not really used to it. :smallsmile:

Oh, yeah, definitely. Starting to acknowledge this stuff really felt like the dams were all bursting sorta.


Guys, I'm home from tour and there's still a few days before I head to camp. And I'm beginning to remember why I spend so little time around my dad. It's terrifying to be in this house, and it's degrading. I want to be somewhere that makes me feel okay to be myself.

Hmm, any friends you can stay with maybe? Or alternatively, just try to spend spend outdoors / on your own? *hugs* :smallsmile:


so dysphoria sucks

~ ♅

*holds*


Well, I've been hoping to come out soon. I believe somebody mentioned that the best time would be when I can sit down with the people I plan on telling for an hour or two without interruptions, especially interruptions from the people I don't plan on telling.

It sounds like my sister may be moving out soon, and my dad might be spending a somewhat long time away from home (A week or two) which will just leave my brother and my mom, and I can talk to my mom about it after my brother goes to bed.

If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.

The main drawbacks I see are thus.
1. Alienation from portions of my family (This is going to happen, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion.)
2. I'll have to stop going to my current D&D group. No matter how much I'd like it if they did, I'm fairly certain they won't accept this.

Naturally, these are personal drawbacks as opposed to general widespread ones.

You being happy / happier; that's always been the main argument I feel. I hope she'd rather have a happy daughter than an unhappy "son". Also, important, give them time and space to process this. Even the most accepting peeps need time to work this through, especially since it sorta changes the mental image they have of you. (And especially when actual changes start happening.) Remember how long it took you to acknowledge and process these things; your family likely can't read your thoughts so they're still at the start of processing this, you know?

Lots of luck! *hugs*


And hey all!
I confronted my ex about my dreams and - voila - my subconscious really is a master detective. Clearing the air about that, and a few other things, really helped my peace of mind.

Of course, it helps a lot that the sun is screaming mercilessly down on Copenhagen and everybody spends all day summering, simmering in the park. And nobody wears pants. (but they do wear shorts :smalltongue:)

That's good news.
Oh, and this is a bit random, but the way you write always makes me smile. :smallsmile:


In more relevant news, in my last argument with my mother, she more or less said she expected praise for accepting my boyfriend, especially the way transgender people are treated nowadays.
For once, I completely embrace everything I've read from certain sources, and felt like asking back "so what, you want a medal for acting like a decent human being?!", but since it was not the actual topic, and the discussion was heated enough as is, sadly, I did not. :smallannoyed:
No, please, nobody point out I'd want a reward for pointing that out. I don't. I just wanted to tell something that's relevant to the thread for once. Yes, I'm defensive, that's because I've been arguing for over 2 hours with my mother, thank you.

Ugh, that sounds frustrating. :smallannoyed:
*hugs*

-----

I wasn't sure if I said anything to you yet, ScionoftheVoid, so good luck in figuring stuff out! :smallsmile:

[MartytheBioGuy]

Ulgh, I hate the tolerance-superiority complex. Yes, you should get some credit for accepting LGBT people. It's called "credit for being human." I get so annoyed with people who can't just like people intrinsically. Can't we just love people?

[AuroraF]

Without complications, you'd have the baby in your arms before you know it. And then you'll have the whole rest of your life, you know. :smallsmile: I really hope they get a hold on how to do this.
Thank you. I didn't actually know if people are unconscious during c-sections; I guess I do now!

[Arachu]

so dysphoria sucks

~ ♅

*Hugs!* Have you tried shaving your legs? It's surprisingly relaxing, and I've found it helpful for the itching. :smallsmile:


And hey all!
I confronted my ex about my dreams and - voila - my subconscious really is a master detective. Clearing the air about that, and a few other things, really helped my peace of mind.

Of course, it helps a lot that the sun is screaming mercilessly down on Copenhagen and everybody spends all day summering, simmering in the park. And nobody wears pants. (but they do wear shorts :smalltongue:)

If I could tolerate the sun for more than 5 milliseconds, I'd be so jealous. I still am. :smalltongue:

Though I do seem to be capable of going out in shorts and a t-shirt without every atom in my body exploding at the speed of light again...


I wish my subconsciousness was a master detective. At the moment, it appears to believe it is Salvador Dali. X3

You can survive extended periods of time in the Deathrays of the Sun? By my scimitar! O_O

*Stares in awe from the shady luxury of a coffin*

My mind keeps doodling intersecting staircases and insinuating that it doesn't know enough to prevent the universe from collapsing. Or at least, it thinks it is... :smalleek:


Well, I've been hoping to come out soon. I believe somebody mentioned that the best time would be when I can sit down with the people I plan on telling for an hour or two without interruptions, especially interruptions from the people I don't plan on telling.

It sounds like my sister may be moving out soon, and my dad might be spending a somewhat long time away from home (A week or two) which will just leave my brother and my mom, and I can talk to my mom about it after my brother goes to bed.

If anybody could help, I'd like to try to put together a pros list of me being transsexual. Essentially, I'd like a list of things that could maybe appeal to my mom.

The main drawbacks I see are thus.
1. Alienation from portions of my family (This is going to happen, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion.)
2. I'll have to stop going to my current D&D group. No matter how much I'd like it if they did, I'm fairly certain they won't accept this.

Naturally, these are personal drawbacks as opposed to general widespread ones.

*Hugs* I can't really think of a list of objectively [good] things, but good luck coming out~


Unfortunately, until I get married in January, I'm still dependent on my family financially. I feel very trapped by it all.

EDIT: And of course, thanks all for the hugs and support. I really appreciate it, it's honestly making this more bearable.

*More hugs* I still depend on my parents for my weight loss medicine. Once I finally hit my target weight... Well, my childhood friend offered to let me stay at his place for a while, but I'd definitely want to get a job too (I use up a lot of water and electricity staving off dysphoria >.>). However and whenever I get out, I'll do most everything in my power/ethics to make up for all the living I missed out on. :smallsmile:

It's good to know things will get better for you soon~ :haley:


Hah, that's quite a bit like my couple.
And hyenas are underrated creatures.

In more relevant news, in my last argument with my mother, she more or less said she expected praise for accepting my boyfriend, especially the way transgender people are treated nowadays.
For once, I completely embrace everything I've read from certain sources, and felt like asking back "so what, you want a medal for acting like a decent human being?!", but since it was not the actual topic, and the discussion was heated enough as is, sadly, I did not. :smallannoyed:
No, please, nobody point out I'd want a reward for pointing that out. I don't. I just wanted to tell something that's relevant to the thread for once. Yes, I'm defensive, that's because I've been arguing for over 2 hours with my mother, thank you.

*Hugs* I think you do deserve praise for that. People should be supportive because it's the 'right' thing to do, not for recognition. Even that's fine if you don't demand it... But I'm rambling. *More hugs*


So, in comedic news my girlfriend and I figured out we're a hyena couple. (http://humon.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d4v2iui)

Aww, that's kind of cute and hot~ :smallbiggrin:


Thank you. I didn't actually know if people are unconscious during c-sections; I guess I do now!

They... Usually are. Sometimes there's an emergency and it's too late to administer anesthetic. >.>


~Bianca

[Mono Vertigo]

Okay, huh, I got a dilemma now.

My mother and my boyfriend are on very good terms. But now I'm chatting with him and venting about the evening (where, in addition to the earlier quote, she spouted a lot of racist [bovine excrement]), and I don't know if I should tell him about that particular quote. I don't want to hurt him needlessly, but I also feel like he has the right to know she said that particular thing about him. Should I tell him, or not?

[Selpharia]

I'd tell him, because he either finds out from you or from her (when she says something similarly insensitive/nasty to his face), and you can control the situation if he finds out from you. Plus if you tell him, you avoid the "Why didn't you tell me?" later. Of course, how you tell him is important, but I think telling is better than not.

[KenderWizard]

Unfortunately, until I get married in January, I'm still dependent on my family financially. I feel very trapped by it all.

EDIT: And of course, thanks all for the hugs and support. I really appreciate it, it's honestly making this more bearable.

Hey, congratulations!


Thank you. I didn't actually know if people are unconscious during c-sections; I guess I do now!

Yes, it's like any other operation, except instead of fixing something, you make a baby come out! Once the baby and placenta are out, the baby is given all the newborn tests and weighed and such, you're stitched back together, and the baby is there as soon as you wake up, unless there's a complication. I was born by c-section and my mother has fond memories of waking up to be handed her firstborn. Although, she was still drugged up enough to think it would be a good idea to preserve my first snot, but my father talked her out of it. :smalltongue:

[supernerd]

Ulgh, I hate the tolerance-superiority complex. Yes, you should get some credit for accepting LGBT people. It's called "credit for being human." I get so annoyed with people who can't just like people intrinsically. Can't we just love people?

Amen to that.

So I had my speech final in class and it was extemperaneous speaking, basically there was a topic and you drew sub-questions on that topic and decided which one you wanted. Then you got 30 minutes to prepare with access to a good amount of articles which you have gathered/read/highlighted beforehand.

I was in the LGBT group, and my question was "Dp you think there has been a decrease in the amount of discrimination that LGBT individuals face?" and I said yes, but there is a good ways to go.

Personal pride moments:
30-50% of my material was not in my article box, including a 1.5 min explanation of the Stonewall Riots.
A good 40% of my material came from this thread.
I ran out of time because I had too much to say and we had 4-6 minites for our final instead of the competition 7-10.
*And most importantly: I reflexively used "WE" when talking about the LGBT community.

[MartytheBioGuy]

I'm probably going to get to be a speech coach when I start teaching, and your story made me happy to do so. Golly I hope I get awesome student who I can stand up for, especially if I get to watch them succeed at being decent humans who understand themselves. Thanks. :smallsmile:

[Selpharia]

Ulgh, I hate the tolerance-superiority complex. Yes, you should get some credit for accepting LGBT people. It's called "credit for being human." I get so annoyed with people who can't just like people intrinsically. Can't we just love people?

I was about to launch into a spiel about the limits of human nature, and the fundamentally competitive and selfish hearts of people, but then I realized that's just my reflexive horrible cynicism that I've been trying to get past. Thank you for writing this so succinctly and clearly as to penetrate even my very thick skull with all its calcified axioms of misanthropy

[noparlpf]

Amen to that.

So I had my speech final in class and it was extemperaneous speaking, basically there was a topic and you drew sub-questions on that topic and decided which one you wanted. Then you got 30 minutes to prepare with access to a good amount of articles which you have gathered/read/highlighted beforehand.

I was in the LGBT group, and my question was "Dp you think there has been a decrease in the amount of discrimination that LGBT individuals face?" and I said yes, but there is a good ways to go.

Personal pride moments:
30-50% of my material was not in my article box, including a 1.5 min explanation of the Stonewall Riots.
A good 40% of my material came from this thread.
I ran out of time because I had too much to say and we had 4-6 minites for our final instead of the competition 7-10.
*And most importantly: I reflexively used "WE" when talking about the LGBT community.

Sounds excellent. Congrats!

I've never given a speech, but the few presentations I've given were with minimal preparation. For example, I had to give a ten minute-ish presentation on the Haber process (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haber_process) last year, and I spent fewer than ten minutes preparing.

[Arachu]

Amen to that.

So I had my speech final in class and it was extemperaneous speaking, basically there was a topic and you drew sub-questions on that topic and decided which one you wanted. Then you got 30 minutes to prepare with access to a good amount of articles which you have gathered/read/highlighted beforehand.

I was in the LGBT group, and my question was "Dp you think there has been a decrease in the amount of discrimination that LGBT individuals face?" and I said yes, but there is a good ways to go.

Personal pride moments:
30-50% of my material was not in my article box, including a 1.5 min explanation of the Stonewall Riots.
A good 40% of my material came from this thread.
I ran out of time because I had too much to say and we had 4-6 minites for our final instead of the competition 7-10.
*And most importantly: I reflexively used "WE" when talking about the LGBT community.

*Fist-bumps and hugs* :smallbiggrin:


I was about to launch into a spiel about the limits of human nature, and the fundamentally competitive and selfish hearts of people, but then I realized that's just my reflexive horrible cynicism that I've been trying to get past. Thank you for writing this so succinctly and clearly as to penetrate even my very thick skull with all its calcified axioms of misanthropy

Reminds me of me. *Hugs* Good luck~ :smallsmile:


~Bianca

[Ninja_Grand]

WARNING: Most of this is like, 2 pages back now :smallsigh:.

I'm just gonna delurk and introduce myself. I'm Hywel, or Tom. I've been lurking for three threads now, and I was beginning to think it was a bit creepy to just watch the conversation without contributing. But now that I'm typing, I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to say. So... hello.
HI! I was lukering for 5 or so... your not the first of the last. *welcomeglomp*

I really like androgynous people. I find them quite (super) attractive. :smallbiggrin:
[QUOTE=KenderWizard;13253804]
We <3 allies!

Quoted for truth and to fix :smallwink:)



...ouch.
I was aiming for completely female. I thought I did a really good job, I liked that picture. Guess I didn't do as well as I thought :/
There goes my confidence. :smallfrown:
You have no reason to take a blow.

Here is what happens when you use this site at school.
So I got my work done so I head here, long on and see your post. I was like "Bwahaha...Time for a test." So I get all my buds and show them the awsome Heliomance. Only one person who is super informed of LGBTA+ that something was (and I quote) "off". I said that you are MtF and thats you. 3/4 said "Thats B.S. Thats a cute girl." the rest of the bigots....:smallmad:
And plus, who give two coppers if a random internet dweller called that you "look androgynous" just ask the girl next to you "am I cute?" and that shoud be all that matters :smallwink:

*Snip*
I asked our outgoing junior who's really cool, but pretty conservative, though he doesn't use it to consciously hurt someone.

Anyway, so I ask him if I should do my Eagle Project for an organization that helps atheists and/or gays. His response was to tell me that atheists were the least trusted group even behind Nazis. And then continued to say that homosexuality was a sin. All this time my retorts had been "And?" or "So?" or "And the answer to my question was?"

He then proceeded to make an analogy, and asked me my opinions on incest. He asked if I loved my sister and she loved me(putting emphasis on the word "loved" in that swingy way, when someone is trying to say a single word seductively and fails miserably) that I should be allowed to marry her and have kids. My response, "marriage, but not procreation because of risk of birth defects in the child." his response, "I see..." combined with a raised eyebrow.

And when I asked how that answered my question, he proceeded to repeat his "argument".


I just don't know if I could keep my Board of Review from knowing I'm gay and consequently getting kicked out.
Two things

WTFM (What the flying monkeys)? Why do you care what he thinks?
And if you can get kicked form the scouts for being gay, then you ether have a good court case, or im really glad I left boy scouts.


so dysphoria sucks

~ ♅
*Hug* :smallfrown: Sorry for ya....

[supernerd]

I'm probably going to get to be a speech coach when I start teaching, and your story made me happy to do so. Golly I hope I get awesome student who I can stand up for, especially if I get to watch them succeed at being decent humans who understand themselves. Thanks. :smallsmile:

Wow! Thanks! *big hugs* :smallsmile:


Sounds excellent. Congrats!

I've never given a speech, but the few presentations I've given were with minimal preparation. For example, I had to give a ten minute-ish presentation on the Haber process (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haber_process) last year, and I spent fewer than ten minutes preparing.

Impressive, and thanks!


*Fist-bumps and hugs* :smallbiggrin:


~Bianca

*returns hug and fist bump* :smallbiggrin::smallcool:

[supernerd]

Two things

WTFM (What the flying monkeys)? Why do you care what he thinks?
And if you can get kicked form the scouts for being gay, then you ether have a good court case, or im really glad I left boy scouts.


1. I don't, just relevant and interesting, how instead of answering my question he gave his opinion on a fraction of the lives of the people I was proposing to help.
2. They got the right to do that from a Supreme Court Case about people complaining about a gay scoutmaster.

[turkishproverb]

So, in comedic news my girlfriend and I figured out we're a hyena couple. (http://humon.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d4v2iui)

Adorable. :smallsmile:

[MartytheBioGuy]

Wow! Thanks! *big hugs* :smallsmile:

Hehe. I initially read this as "Bi hugs" and was wondering if you were bi as well. And then it occurred to me that something about that sentiment was weird. So I reread it. And yes, big hugs! Speech kids rock, and you seem to rock more than most. I wish I could be as brave as you.

[Heliomance]

You have no reason to take a blow.

Here is what happens when you use this site at school.
So I got my work done so I head here, long on and see your post. I was like "Bwahaha...Time for a test." So I get all my buds and show them the awsome Heliomance. Only one person who is super informed of LGBTA+ that something was (and I quote) "off". I said that you are MtF and thats you. 3/4 said "Thats B.S. Thats a cute girl." the rest of the bigots....:smallmad:
And plus, who give two coppers if a random internet dweller called that you "look androgynous" just ask the girl next to you "am I cute?" and that shoud be all that matters :smallwink:

:smallredface::smallredface::smallredface:
Awesome.

And she's biased, she'd say yes no matter what :P

[KenderWizard]

Amen to that.

So I had my speech final in class and it was extemperaneous speaking, basically there was a topic and you drew sub-questions on that topic and decided which one you wanted. Then you got 30 minutes to prepare with access to a good amount of articles which you have gathered/read/highlighted beforehand.

I was in the LGBT group, and my question was "Dp you think there has been a decrease in the amount of discrimination that LGBT individuals face?" and I said yes, but there is a good ways to go.

Personal pride moments:
30-50% of my material was not in my article box, including a 1.5 min explanation of the Stonewall Riots.
A good 40% of my material came from this thread.
I ran out of time because I had too much to say and we had 4-6 minites for our final instead of the competition 7-10.
*And most importantly: I reflexively used "WE" when talking about the LGBT community.

I'm still wavering around on that last bit! I'm getting much better at it, though. :smallsmile: Also, that all sounds awesome, well done!

[supernerd]

Hehe. I initially read this as "Bi hugs" and was wondering if you were bi as well. And then it occurred to me that something about that sentiment was weird. So I reread it. And yes, big hugs! Speech kids rock, and you seem to rock more than most. I wish I could be as brave as you.

Nope, boobs don't do anything and vaginas gross me out, so I'm all gay all the time.
Speech kids do rock! And so do D&D nerds, and Theatre nerds, and choir kids. So I'm not sure but I think awesomeness bonuses stack.

And I'm brave? Well I'm certainly much braver than I was... :smallredface::smallsmile::smallredface:


I'm still wavering around on that last bit! I'm getting much better at it, though. :smallsmile: Also, that all sounds awesome, well done!

Yeah it was like "woah, did that really just happen?(have I actually understood? This weird quirk I've tried to suppress or hide could help me meet the Wizard if I make good. So I'll make good... Finishes "The Wizard and I" from Wicked)" and I got an extra shot of confidence.

I think I've actually just came into my awesomeness, thanks to my fonal solo for my Applied Music class(solo singing, duets, monologues, and history of musical theatre). Thanks to "She Cries" from Songs for a New World by Jason Robert Brown. He writes really difficult music for the piano and it can be rather demanding vocally. But Monday we had our final, a recital in which we sang our favorite piece from the year, and I finally got it perfect. And now the confidence I feel.

Now I only need to watch so it doesn't go to my head... :smalltongue:

[MartytheBioGuy]

Nope, boobs don't do anything and vaginas gross me out, so I'm all gay all the time.
Speech kids do rock! And so do D&D nerds, and Theatre nerds, and choir kids. So I'm not sure but I think awesomeness bonuses stack.

And I'm brave? Well I'm certainly much braver than I was... :smallredface::smallsmile::smallredface:

Hehe, :smallbiggrin: whatever, more for me! And dang, kid, you have a lot going for you! If you were also a biology nerd, we'd be like, destined to be best friends!

And yes, you're very brave. I would never say "we" when referring to the LGBT community because I'm still terrified of public perception of me. If I were in your shoes for that speech I'd have been shaking. But of course, I was trained my whole life to think that I was inherently inferior, so... glgh I hate the past. And the fact that I can't really fully escape it.

[Nix Nihila]

Interesting. I hadn't really considered that saying "we" when referring to the LGBT+ community could be difficult for some people, though it seems rather obvious now. I tend to avoid doing so just because I don't like speaking for other people. Congratulations on the speech, by the way.

And I'm a bit late, but Heliomance, you look really gorgeous in that photo!

Finally, *hugs* for Qaera, Marty, and anyone else who's been feeling down.

[Arachu]

:smallsigh: My voice has really been frustrating me lately... I've made a bit of progress getting it to sound different, but the 'closest' thing I can do to 'female' sounds... Well, I've never heard a voice like that without heavy editing involved. The first thing that came to mind from the recording was those stereotypical obese people from "comedies". ._.

I know this kind of thing takes time, and I'll be damned if I won't get my voice eventually, but it's really... Tolling on my patience. :smallsigh:


:smallredface::smallredface::smallredface:
Awesome.

And she's biased, she'd say yes no matter what :P

And she'd be right. v.v

:smallsmile:


Nope, boobs don't do anything and vaginas gross me out, so I'm all gay all the time.
Speech kids do rock! And so do D&D nerds, and Theatre nerds, and choir kids. So I'm not sure but I think awesomeness bonuses stack.

And I'm brave? Well I'm certainly much braver than I was... :smallredface::smallsmile::smallredface:

Yeah it was like "woah, did that really just happen?(have I actually understood? This weird quirk I've tried to suppress or hide could help me meet the Wizard if I make good. So I'll make good... Finishes "The Wizard and I" from Wicked)" and I got an extra shot of confidence.

I think I've actually just came into my awesomeness, thanks to my fonal solo for my Applied Music class(solo singing, duets, monologues, and history of musical theatre). Thanks to "She Cries" from Songs for a New World by Jason Robert Brown. He writes really difficult music for the piano and it can be rather demanding vocally. But Monday we had our final, a recital in which we sang our favorite piece from the year, and I finally got it perfect. And now the confidence I feel.

Now I only need to watch so it doesn't go to my head... :smalltongue:

Hey, you were already awesome - it's just slightly more obvious now. :smallbiggrin:

I admit, you have a point with boobs. I can't pin down exactly why they're attractive, just that they are...

... I do have an idea for a new philosophy, though. :smalltongue:


Hehe, :smallbiggrin: whatever, more for me! And dang, kid, you have a lot going for you! If you were also a biology nerd, we'd be like, destined to be best friends!

And yes, you're very brave. I would never say "we" when referring to the LGBT community because I'm still terrified of public perception of me. If I were in your shoes for that speech I'd have been shaking. But of course, I was trained my whole life to think that I was inherently inferior, so... glgh I hate the past. And the fact that I can't really fully escape it.

*Hugs* Remember - You aren't inferior at all. You're every bit as precious and important as anyone else. :smallsmile:


~Bianca

[noparlpf]

Hehe, :smallbiggrin: whatever, more for me! And dang, kid, you have a lot going for you! If you were also a biology nerd, we'd be like, destined to be best friends!

And yes, you're very brave. I would never say "we" when referring to the LGBT community because I'm still terrified of public perception of me. If I were in your shoes for that speech I'd have been shaking. But of course, I was trained my whole life to think that I was inherently inferior, so... glgh I hate the past. And the fact that I can't really fully escape it.

I would say "we", but then, I would also wear this hat (http://www.austinbrowncoats.com/Jaynehats/wp-content/themes/oriental/images/jayne-hat.jpg).

[supernerd]

Hehe, :smallbiggrin: whatever, more for me! And dang, kid, you have a lot going for you! If you were also a biology nerd, we'd be like, destined to be best friends!

And yes, you're very brave. I would never say "we" when referring to the LGBT community because I'm still terrified of public perception of me. If I were in your shoes for that speech I'd have been shaking. But of course, I was trained my whole life to think that I was inherently inferior, so... glgh I hate the past. And the fact that I can't really fully escape it.

Ugh, I know the feeling, but I guess I've always had music to get me through things. I think I might become a musical theatre actor/(possibly erotic) novelist. Also I only gave the speech to my teacher and two students while the rest were in another room watching Finding Nemo.


Interesting. I hadn't really considered that saying "we" when referring to the LGBT+ community could be difficult for some people, though it seems rather obvious now. I tend to avoid doing so just because I don't like speaking for other people. Congratulations on the speech, by the way.

And I'm a bit late, but Heliomance, you look really gorgeous in that photo!

Finally, *hugs* for Qaera, Marty, and anyone else who's been feeling down.

Thanks! And I was kind of aprehensive when I noticed what I'd said. Since I didn't write it word for word in the thirty minutes, it just came out.

Also I must agree that Heliomance was gorgeous, and the first thing I thought when I saw that couple was "aww, adorable lesbian couple makes my day." and Heliomance is a very lucky lady to have that girl on her lap. And vice versa.


:smallsigh: My voice has really been frustrating me lately... I've made a bit of progress getting it to sound different, but the 'closest' thing I can do to 'female' sounds... Well, I've never heard a voice like that without heavy editing involved. The first thing that came to mind from the recording was those stereotypical obese people from "comedies". ._.

I know this kind of thing takes time, and I'll be damned if I won't get my voice eventually, but it's really... Tolling on my patience. :smallsigh:



Hey, you were already awesome - it's just slightly more obvious now. :smallbiggrin:

I admit, you have a point with boobs. I can't pin down exactly why they're attractive, just that they are...

... I do have an idea for a new philosophy, though. :smalltongue:



*Hugs* Remember - You aren't inferior at all. You're every bit as precious and important as anyone else. :smallsmile:


~Bianca

Why thank you. It's just that JRB has made me actually proud of what I can do. And if you want voice help, I can try to give you some pointers. First thing I would syggest is legitimate voice lessons so you can develop vocal techniques and create a female "character voice" from there. But voice teachers are expensive...

Also to all: never forget that you are special, and there is always someone ready to love and accept you if you work to find them.

[Arachu]

Why thank you. It's just that JRB has made me actually proud of what I can do. And if you want voice help, I can try to give you some pointers. First thing I would syggest is legitimate voice lessons so you can develop vocal techniques and create a female "character voice" from there. But voice teachers are expensive...

Also to all: never forget that you are special, and there is always someone ready to love and accept you if you work to find them.

I... Kind of don't have money. Or a car, or anywhere to walk, or any teachers in the general vicinity, or supportive parents... >.>

I do, however, have Google and two devices capable of taking voice commands (Kinect/Skyrim and Windows 7), as well as a water filter (the tap water around here is... Bad :smallyuk:) and a lot of time. Considering how I've been maintaining my nails with a bent emery board and a stack of year-old notecards... I'd say I'll pin down whatever's causing that weirdness eventually. :smallsmile:

EDIT: I already found something - a lot of that deepness was coming directly from my vocal chords. After relaxing them (which is so much more comfortable ^_^), my recording merely sounded like a nasal-y guy. Progress! :smallbiggrin:

~Bianca

[supernerd]

I... Kind of don't have money. Or a car, or anywhere to walk, or any teachers in the general vicinity, or supportive parents... >.>

I do, however, have Google and two devices capable of taking voice commands (Kinect/Skyrim and Windows 7), as well as a water filter (the tap water around here is... Bad :smallyuk:) and a lot of time. Considering how I've been maintaining my nails with a bent emery board and a stack of year-old notecards... I'd say I'll pin down whatever's causing that weirdness eventually. :smallsmile:

~Bianca

There can be miracles, when you believe. Though hope frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve. When you believe, I know you will.

See, I've always had and used music to get through hard times, and the best thing is to work on your range, then play with your desired range and the intonation, then keep going for the desired effect.

You are very strong, very determined. I'm sure over time your parents will be able to support you, but first they have to learn, and whether you teach them out or in the closet is up to you.

[golentan]

So, my girlfriend is going to try to get a medical loan and set up her surgery before this time next year.

[Heliomance]

So I just went and got my ears pierced. I have little silver studs in them now. I have no idea how anyone is going to react.

[Mina Kobold]

So, my girlfriend is going to try to get a medical loan and set up her surgery before this time next year.

Yay! ^_^

Is a medical loan expensive? I think I heard something about them being so, but I have not had medical needs to take loans for since I was a child. ^_^'


So I just went and got my ears pierced. I have little silver studs in them now. I have no idea how anyone is going to react.

That sounds nice! :smallsmile:

I am far too squeamish to even get near pointy objects, so I do not have them myself, but I would react with an "Ooh, shiiiiny O.O"! :3

[Lea Plath]

Sorry, not been posting. Am close to screwing up my life again by being lazy and trying to fix it now.

@Helio: You do look very femenine in that picture and awesome of the ear piercings! I know I couldn't do it >.< Too scared.

@Kender: Bleh, typo brain!

@Everyone else: *Hugs*

[golentan]

Yay! ^_^

Is a medical loan expensive? I think I heard something about them being so, but I have not had medical needs to take loans for since I was a child. ^_^'


I don't know. I've offered to help with some of the financing and paperwork, but she's been reluctant to involve me (she says she feels like she'd be taking advantage).

[Nix Nihila]

:smallsigh: My voice has really been frustrating me lately... I've made a bit of progress getting it to sound different, but the 'closest' thing I can do to 'female' sounds... Well, I've never heard a voice like that without heavy editing involved. The first thing that came to mind from the recording was those stereotypical obese people from "comedies". ._.

I know this kind of thing takes time, and I'll be damned if I won't get my voice eventually, but it's really... Tolling on my patience. :smallsigh:


Working on your voice is tough. I'm still not entirely satisfied with mine. Just make sure you don't strain your voice, and drink lots of water! I'd also suggest that you keep recordings of your voice if you aren't already, as otherwise it's difficult to realize when you've made progress.

If you don't already have resources for learning to feminize your voice, I can probably dig up some for you if you like. Anyways, I know it can be frustrating, but keep practicing and you'll get there!


Thanks! And I was kind of aprehensive when I noticed what I'd said. Since I didn't write it word for word in the thirty minutes, it just came out.

Also I must agree that Heliomance was gorgeous, and the first thing I thought when I saw that couple was "aww, adorable lesbian couple makes my day." and Heliomance is a very lucky lady to have that girl on her lap. And vice versa.

It's good that you were able to do so though. I think it's good to make yourself uncomfortable every now and then. You can learn quite a lot about yourself when you're uncomfortable.

In other news, I've just come home from my second session with a new therapist. I'm not going specifically for trans issues, but it feels great to be able to talk again to someone who isn't personally invested in me.

[KenderWizard]

So I just went and got my ears pierced. I have little silver studs in them now. I have no idea how anyone is going to react.

Hey, that's cool! Like Keveak, it's not for me, although more for thinking it's a really weird idea than for being afraid of needles, since I'm fine with needles. But good for you!


So, my girlfriend is going to try to get a medical loan and set up her surgery before this time next year.

Wow, that's big news! Awesome! Best of luck to her. :smallsmile:



In other news, I've just come home from my second session with a new therapist. I'm not going specifically for trans issues, but it feels great to be able to talk again to someone who isn't personally invested in me.

Wow, I know, right? Similarly, I'm not going for bi issues. I only have one session left with the college counselling service, though, and when I get back from my summer travels I'm going to have to try find a support service and start again with someone. Unless I happen to fall into a PhD/job at my old college, I guess! Anyway, I started going for being too invested in my academic performance, but there are so many things wrong with me :smalltongue: and it's so nice to have a guilt-free way to talk about them.

[Astrella]

:smallsigh: My voice has really been frustrating me lately... I've made a bit of progress getting it to sound different, but the 'closest' thing I can do to 'female' sounds... Well, I've never heard a voice like that without heavy editing involved. The first thing that came to mind from the recording was those stereotypical obese people from "comedies". ._.

I know this kind of thing takes time, and I'll be damned if I won't get my voice eventually, but it's really... Tolling on my patience. :smallsigh:

Awww.
I'm cheering for you~


So, my girlfriend is going to try to get a medical loan and set up her surgery before this time next year.

Ooh, good luck!


So I just went and got my ears pierced. I have little silver studs in them now. I have no idea how anyone is going to react.

Jealoussss...


Sorry, not been posting. Am close to screwing up my life again by being lazy and trying to fix it now.

Hope you get everything sorted out!


In other news, I've just come home from my second session with a new therapist. I'm not going specifically for trans issues, but it feels great to be able to talk again to someone who isn't personally invested in me.

That's great. :smallsmile:

[noparlpf]

Piercings weird me out. I'm okay with shots and needles and such, although drawing blood feels kind of gross, but piercings are just weird. Not for me.

[whiskytangofoxt]

I found a really cool little article, linking LGBTQ interests with gaming - I covered it on my blog!

http://ofdiceandmenrpg.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/q-is-for-queer-sigil.html

It's honestly not a crappy attempt at self-promotion!

Honest! :smalltongue:

[Astrella]

I found a really cool little article, linking LGBTQ interests with gaming - I covered it on my blog!

http://ofdiceandmenrpg.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/q-is-for-queer-sigil.html

It's honestly not a crappy attempt at self-promotion!

Honest! :smalltongue:

Cool~

There's a union of tribes led by a two-spirit person in my genderqueer friend's campaign.

[golentan]

I've played gay characters before. Though I've avoided playing lesbians for the most part, because of the unfortunate associations most people have with male players and female characters (I wouldn't play them that way, but I want to avoid the accusation).

[Socratov]

I've played gay characters before. Though I've avoided playing lesbians for the most part, because of the unfortunate associations most people have with male players and female characters (I wouldn't play them that way, but I want to avoid the accusation).

I did thatfor my very first character, I invoked all the wrong ideas and stuff, lookin gback on it now it was really silly. (I played a female half-elf bard, culturally infuenced by the elves with homosexual tendencies). i proceeded to (try) get in every barmaid's pants and envetually every bar in some kind of weird way became a self-service bar... How uncanny...

[Ichneumon]

I've played male and female characters before, but never have tried gay/lesbian ones. The reason for that is though that I've always felt really uncomfortable roleplaying romance, so even as a DM, I try to stay far away from those kind of things. So, whether a character is gay or straight doesn't really come up.

[KenderWizard]

Piercings weird me out. I'm okay with shots and needles and such, although drawing blood feels kind of gross, but piercings are just weird. Not for me.

More evidence!

Sexuality tends not to come up much in D&D. I did play a promiscuous bi wizard, which was a lot of fun. My DM was all "Not all bi people are promiscuous, you know." and I was like "Really? I hadn't noticed. Me and my single monogamous partner are certainly confused by this shocking news." :smalltongue: I suppose it's good that he was confronting bi myths, but I did think it was funny.

Also, today I saw the Avengers for the fifth time. It's so amazing.

[Lea Plath]

Also, today I saw the Avengers for the fifth time. It's so amazing.

Kender, this is an intervention. We all care about you and don't want to see you get radiation from the screen, turn green and destroy stuff. :P

[golentan]

Kender, this is an intervention. We all care about you and don't want to see you get radiation from the screen, turn green and destroy stuff. :P

Speak for yourself.

[Laser Frog]

*looks at the 7 whole pages of posts* Oh piffle, I was looking forward to that new thread smell. I guess that means I need to lurk less.


I found a really cool little article, linking LGBTQ interests with gaming - I covered it on my blog!

http://ofdiceandmenrpg.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/q-is-for-queer-sigil.html

It's honestly not a crappy attempt at self-promotion!

Honest! :smalltongue:
I like that article. *tugs nervously on collar at the description of Moradin's Hammer*

Anyway, while I'm somewhat new to actually playing D&D (as opposed to just reading/learning about it), I've played forum RP characters who represent a good variety of sexual orientations. I've only ever played one lesbian character, and I tried my hardest not to make her stereotypical in either gender or orientation. She was an archaeologist. She was one of my favorites. :smallsmile: I've also only played one trans character (FtM in this case), but didn't get to do so very long before that forum died. That's kinda what happens with forum RPGs, though. Le sigh.

I just try to make the character's gender identity and/or sexual orientation incidental to the character, even if it plays heavily into their history leading up to the present.


Also, today I saw the Avengers for the fifth time. It's so amazing.

Kender, this is an intervention. We all care about you and don't want to see you get radiation from the screen, turn green and destroy stuff. :P
I can understand Kender's obsession with Avengers from a certain viewpoint, though I liked it more because the quality was both excellent and classically Joss Whedon. I love that it didn't take itself too seriously, but that it also didn't really break the fourth wall in the process. I was apathetic about all the ostensibly hot guys, but that's how I feel about most muscular men. I prefer a "softer" look, but to each their own. More power to you if you like that body type.

I gotta ask, though; are any of you also acrophobic and watched Avengers in 3D? If so, I feel your pain. I hate that almost every 3D I've seen lately has had a high-altitude scene that almost makes me panic. :smallannoyed: Even rereleases that I forgot even had scenes like that in the first place! (I'm looking at you, Phantom Menace...) It's less thrilling and more terrifying, most of the time.

[supernerd]

Not one of my characters has ever been straight. Casters don't bring it up, but my bards! And my perform bonuses are quite sibstantial.

[turkishproverb]

I found a really cool little article, linking LGBTQ interests with gaming - I covered it on my blog!

http://ofdiceandmenrpg.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/q-is-for-queer-sigil.html

It's honestly not a crappy attempt at self-promotion!

Honest! :smalltongue:

*clicks link*

[KenderWizard]

Kender, this is an intervention. We all care about you and don't want to see you get radiation from the screen, turn green and destroy stuff. :P

NO! I'm fine, I'm fine, I can quit any time I like. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!

:smallbiggrin: I keep thinking I'll get less excited, but I still have a total Thorgasm every time he lands on that plane to take Loki. I am getting (very slightly) less giddy each time, which is a bonus, because I get to take in more detail!


Speak for yourself.

:smalltongue: I would also prefer not to be an enormous green rage monster.



I can understand Kender's obsession with Avengers from a certain viewpoint, though I liked it more because the quality was both excellent and classically Joss Whedon. I love that it didn't take itself too seriously, but that it also didn't really break the fourth wall in the process. I was apathetic about all the ostensibly hot guys, but that's how I feel about most muscular men. I prefer a "softer" look, but to each their own. More power to you if you like that body type.


I like it because the quality is excellent. The hot stuff is a bonus! A fabulous, fabulous, well-costumed bonus. To be honest, falling for Thor was a surprise to me too, I usually go for a leaner look, in both genders. Loki and Black Widow, my other two major ... interests, are much more my type. To be clear, I fell for Thor and Loki in Thor, so it wasn't a surprise when I was watching the Avengers. Falling for Thor/Loki was a surprise, since that's a recent development for me. I'm not usually much of a slash kinda girl.

[Socratov]

ehm... I don;t know if this is the place to mention it, but is it weird if I considermyself a gastrosexual? I mean, I really love cooking and good food (although I'm still thinking about the ld no good food or no good sex dilemma)

[Asta Kask]

Kender, this is an intervention. We all care about you and don't want to see you get radiation from the screen, turn green and destroy stuff. :P

We need a KenderHulk-avatar. Stretch pants and stretch bra are advised.

[KenderWizard]

ehm... I don;t know if this is the place to mention it, but is it weird if I considermyself a gastrosexual? I mean, I really love cooking and good food (although I'm still thinking about the ld no good food or no good sex dilemma)

I'm a bit confused. Do you love food or do you love food?


We need a KenderHulk-avatar. Stretch pants and stretch bra are advised.

*pout* The Hulk is my least favourite Avenger. I'd prefer to be The Mighty Kender or Black Kender or Hawkender or Iron Kender or Captain Kendermore. :smallbiggrin:

[Asta Kask]

Also Kender, why aren't you answering my PMs? Don't you love me anymore? :smallfrown:

[KenderWizard]

Also Kender, why aren't you answering my PMs? Don't you love me anymore? :smallfrown:

Do so still love you! I haven't got any PMs since we were discussing porphyry ore deposits! Have you sent ones since then? I have space in my inbox!

[Socratov]

I'm a bit confused. Do you love food or do you love food?



*pout* The Hulk is my least favourite Avenger. I'd prefer to be The Mighty Kender or Black Kender or Hawkender or Iron Kender or Captain Kendermore. :smallbiggrin:

well, it's love, but i know certain dishes i almsot fantasize about :smallredface: (one of them be:ing a deer's backmeat with a luscious red whine sauce, the thought is giving me a food boner right now)

[Mono Vertigo]

A wild Asta appears!
*throws a Pokéball*

[golentan]

ASTA KASK!!!
*glomps* *begins inappropriate displays of affection*

I thought we had lost you forever and ever.

[noparlpf]

ehm... I don;t know if this is the place to mention it, but is it weird if I considermyself a gastrosexual? I mean, I really love cooking and good food (although I'm still thinking about the ld no good food or no good sex dilemma)

I would take food over sex anytime. Especially good food.


We need a KenderHulk-avatar. Stretch pants and stretch bra are advised.

Hey, an Asta. Hope you're doing well.
KenderHulk would be interesting to see.

[LaZodiac]

I'm sure this has probably already been posted but I figured it'd be nice to share something I read.

http://gawker.com/5913560/photographer-goes-from-male-to-female-after-chance-ultrasound-reveals-shes-both

[Arachu]

*Glomps Asta* ^_^


So, my girlfriend is going to try to get a medical loan and set up her surgery before this time next year.

*Congratulatory hugs* to both of you~ :smallbiggrin:



Sorry, not been posting. Am close to screwing up my life again by being lazy and trying to fix it now.

*Hugs* Good luck~


So I just went and got my ears pierced. I have little silver studs in them now. I have no idea how anyone is going to react.

*Hugs* I don't even know what they look like, but I know they're adorable~

I haven't really thought much about whether to get my ears pierced. Hmm... I bet it's annoying having to keep up with the pieces all the time, but I also bet that it'd be really fun to play with studs with long nails. :smallthinking:


Awww.
I'm cheering for you~

:3

Last night I managed to speak in head voice for several hours in a row. Back in November, I had to strain to talk for an hour at all. :smallsmile:


~Bianca

[noparlpf]

I'm sure this has probably already been posted but I figured it'd be nice to share something I read.

http://gawker.com/5913560/photographer-goes-from-male-to-female-after-chance-ultrasound-reveals-shes-both

Huh. Intersex people can be fertile? I never knew that. *does some reading*

[Mono Vertigo]

That's interesting indeed!
Only learnt about this recently; still trying to wrap my head around the finer details though, only because I'm scientifically curious. The human body works in truly mysterious ways.


Small update on my previous dilemma:
Discussing with a friend who knew all parties involved better, we came to the conclusion that in the heat of the moment, my mother might not actually have meant what she'd said, wanted to say something completely unrelated but it came out wrong, or I misunderstood, or a mix of the three. It's not the first time she says stuff that upsets/disturbs me without meaning it at all, and completely forgets about it after the first and only offense. (The racism is alas a long-known and voluntary offense, and my latest attempts to educate her were met with an astounding embracing of her own ignorance. Giving up now.) Therefore, there isn't a real need to tell my boyfriend about it.
However, while she made no further mention to his status in any way, I'll be listening to her words carefully from now on. If there's a repeat, then I'll know that's what she really thinks and tell him about it. She's gone back to shipping us gleefully, so I hope I made the right decision.



P.S. : if that decision ever comes back to bite me in the behind somehow, of course, the whole thread will be officially invited to a "let's point at Musashi and laugh at her or say 'I told you so!'" party. There will be cookies.

[SiuiS]

So I just went and got my ears pierced. I have little silver studs in them now. I have no idea how anyone is going to react.

With jealousy is how.

"We are green with envy~!"
[size="1"]I wanna get my belly button pierced but the healing time is attrocious


Working on your voice is tough. I'm still not entirely satisfied with mine. Just make sure you don't strain your voice, and drink lots of water! I'd also suggest that you keep recordings of your voice if you aren't already, as otherwise it's difficult to realize when you've made progress.

If you don't already have resources for learning to feminize your voice, I can probably dig up some for you if you like. Anyways, I know it can be frustrating, but keep practicing and you'll get there!


I would appreciate some. I've lost all the old links and am somehow inept at using google. Utterly so >.<


I've just come home from my second session with a new therapist. I'm not going specifically for trans issues, but it feels great to be able to talk again to someone who isn't personally invested in me.

... That sounds like a good idea...


Speak for yourself.

I too would like an Incredible Kender running around. She's be more like she hulk anyway, and we could just pretend she learned it from Tenser (of Tenser's Transformation fame).

[KenderWizard]

well, it's love, but i know certain dishes i almsot fantasize about :smallredface: (one of them be:ing a deer's backmeat with a luscious red whine sauce, the thought is giving me a food boner right now)

That does sound amazing, in all fairness!


I would take food over sex anytime. Especially good food.


You don't count. :smalltongue:

Actually, I have troubled relationships with both food and sex, so I'm kind of coming at this question from a different place!




Last night I managed to speak in head voice for several hours in a row. Back in November, I had to strain to talk for an hour at all. :smallsmile:


Hey, that's fantastic! Well done! :smallsmile: Progress is always so great!




Small update on my previous dilemma:
Discussing with a friend who knew all parties involved better, we came to the conclusion that in the heat of the moment, my mother might not actually have meant what she'd said, wanted to say something completely unrelated but it came out wrong, or I misunderstood, or a mix of the three. It's not the first time she says stuff that upsets/disturbs me without meaning it at all, and completely forgets about it after the first and only offense. (The racism is alas a long-known and voluntary offense, and my latest attempts to educate her were met with an astounding embracing of her own ignorance. Giving up now.) Therefore, there isn't a real need to tell my boyfriend about it.
However, while she made no further mention to his status in any way, I'll be listening to her words carefully from now on. If there's a repeat, then I'll know that's what she really thinks and tell him about it. She's gone back to shipping us gleefully, so I hope I made the right decision.



P.S. : if that decision ever comes back to bite me in the behind somehow, of course, the whole thread will be officially invited to a "let's point at Musashi and laugh at her or say 'I told you so!'" party. There will be cookies.

That sounds sensible, I hope it works out! :smallsmile:

[golentan]

That's interesting indeed!
Only learnt about this recently; still trying to wrap my head around the finer details though, only because I'm scientifically curious. The human body works in truly mysterious ways.


Small update on my previous dilemma:
Discussing with a friend who knew all parties involved better, we came to the conclusion that in the heat of the moment, my mother might not actually have meant what she'd said, wanted to say something completely unrelated but it came out wrong, or I misunderstood, or a mix of the three. It's not the first time she says stuff that upsets/disturbs me without meaning it at all, and completely forgets about it after the first and only offense. (The racism is alas a long-known and voluntary offense, and my latest attempts to educate her were met with an astounding embracing of her own ignorance. Giving up now.) Therefore, there isn't a real need to tell my boyfriend about it.
However, while she made no further mention to his status in any way, I'll be listening to her words carefully from now on. If there's a repeat, then I'll know that's what she really thinks and tell him about it. She's gone back to shipping us gleefully, so I hope I made the right decision.



P.S. : if that decision ever comes back to bite me in the behind somehow, of course, the whole thread will be officially invited to a "let's point at Musashi and laugh at her or say 'I told you so!'" party. There will be cookies.

I'm inclined to say anyone who ships a relationship "gleefully" probably genuinely supports it, and that if you were already having an argument it was probably intended as more of a "look what a supportive person I am" which came out wrong (i.e. I'm supporting this without really supporting this) than anything else.

[noparlpf]

That's interesting indeed!
Only learnt about this recently; still trying to wrap my head around the finer details though, only because I'm scientifically curious. The human body works in truly mysterious ways.


Small update on my previous dilemma:
Discussing with a friend who knew all parties involved better, we came to the conclusion that in the heat of the moment, my mother might not actually have meant what she'd said, wanted to say something completely unrelated but it came out wrong, or I misunderstood, or a mix of the three. It's not the first time she says stuff that upsets/disturbs me without meaning it at all, and completely forgets about it after the first and only offense. (The racism is alas a long-known and voluntary offense, and my latest attempts to educate her were met with an astounding embracing of her own ignorance. Giving up now.) Therefore, there isn't a real need to tell my boyfriend about it.
However, while she made no further mention to his status in any way, I'll be listening to her words carefully from now on. If there's a repeat, then I'll know that's what she really thinks and tell him about it. She's gone back to shipping us gleefully, so I hope I made the right decision.



P.S. : if that decision ever comes back to bite me in the behind somehow, of course, the whole thread will be officially invited to a "let's point at Musashi and laugh at her or say 'I told you so!'" party. There will be cookies.

I think that's a good choice.


You don't count. :smalltongue:

Actually, I have troubled relationships with both food and sex, so I'm kind of coming at this question from a different place!

A while back, in eleventh grade I think, I remember somebody asking a few of us whether we'd rather go without ice cream or without sex. I said ice cream, obviously. (And so did my ex.) Another guy thought for a minute and asked why he couldn't just have both. Preferably at the same time.

[golentan]

I once went 18 hours without food or drink because I was too busy with sex to care about how hungry/thirsty I was getting.

[Castaras]

Never had Icecream and sex, but chocolate and sex is quite fun... if a little difficult to concentrate on both the sex and eating the chocolate. :smalltongue:

[Ralasha]

Ice cream is easier, though I suppose that probably depends on how you're doing it, and if the person is comfortable with being cold for a little bit.

[supernerd]

Also Kender, why aren't you answering my PMs? Don't you love me anymore? :smallfrown:

We all love you Asta! *glomp*


:3

Last night I managed to speak in head voice for several hours in a row. Back in November, I had to strain to talk for an hour at all. :smallsmile:


~Bianca

Oh my gosh! That's great, Hun! *squeezing hug* that's awesome, just be careful not to try to stretch your range for too long. (I usually sing the soprano line for songs from wicked, just because then I'm not constantly switching. Is it a head voice or a clear falsetto? Their is a distinct difference. I can hit a soprano's high F, maybe higher when I switch.

[Socratov]

That does sound amazing, in all fairness!



snip and hug for relevance

it is to me what thor and loki are to you :smallwink:

[KenderWizard]

I too would like an Incredible Kender running around. She's be more like she hulk anyway, and we could just pretend she learned it from Tenser (of Tenser's Transformation fame).

She-Hulk does just appear to be better!


Never had Icecream and sex, but chocolate and sex is quite fun... if a little difficult to concentrate on both the sex and eating the chocolate. :smalltongue:

I am firmly opposed to this! It's too dangerous. What if they chocolate goes places it shouldn't? Like on people? Stickiness is the opposite of sexiness.


it is to me what thor and loki are to you :smallwink:

Oh my. :smallwink:

[Copper]

Hi, I'm just going to pop in here for some shameless self-promotion! Me and some friends have created a new tumblr called Rainbow Voices. It's based around the idea that everyone in the queer community has different stories and opinions on everything and that it would be beneficial to all to have these stories told. So each week there will be a prompt and people can submit their relationship to that prompt in any form they like, writing, artwork, comics, etc.
This will only really work if a lot of people submit and a lot of different stories or thoughts get shared so if your interested in submitting anything, here's the link: Rainbow Voices (http://rainbowvoices.tumblr.com/) This week's topic is Your Coming Out Story.

Thank you!:smallbiggrin: (I hope that made some sense...)

[noparlpf]

She-Hulk does just appear to be better!

Which one? The original one, or the recent one who gets stronger when she's calmer? (Not actually very familiar with comics, just Wikipedia. I need to get around to finding and reading more comics.)


I am firmly opposed to this! It's too dangerous. What if they chocolate goes places it shouldn't? Like on people? Stickiness is the opposite of sexiness.

Chocolate is better than kissing, says some study in (I believe) England.


Hi, I'm just going to pop in here for some shameless self-promotion! Me and some friends have created a new tumblr called Rainbow Voices. It's based around the idea that everyone in the queer community has different stories and opinions on everything and that it would be beneficial to all to have these stories told. So each week there will be a prompt and people can submit their relationship to that prompt in any form they like, writing, artwork, comics, etc.
This will only really work if a lot of people submit and a lot of different stories or thoughts get shared so if your interested in submitting anything, here's the link: Rainbow Voices (http://rainbowvoices.tumblr.com/) This week's topic is Your Coming Out Story.

Thank you!:smallbiggrin: (I hope that made some sense...)

Sounds neat!
Edit: Which time coming out? The first one? 'Cause it's usually a continuous process as every new person you meet assumes you're straight. (Odd. Whenever I write "meat" or "meet", whichever I'm trying to write, I type the other.)
Either way, the one I remembered just now was kind of boring, because it was kind of a general "hey what's everybody's sexuality, as long as we all have to live in the same building for a year" sort of thing, and pretty much everybody else's sexuality was more interesting than mine. One guy's was, "Well, what do you want me to be?" Much more user-friendly.

[Socratov]

well, on the topic of chocolate, it's practically the same as liquor... it shouldnt go to places it shouldn't be, but it can enhance the overall experience, as well as serve as a "marker" (use your imagination, since my current thoughts with it can't be forum legal if i recall correctly). On the prompt of stickiness, it only takes decent skill to get it off. For the rest chocolate can actually serve as some sort of catalyst and if i racall correctly, the endorfins chocolate generates are quite similar to those resulting from sex, so even that is freakishly similar...

It's why I provided my friend with benefits (which agreement regrettably ended some time ago) with home made chocolate truffles (chocolate+liqour+some charming words work wonders).

[noparlpf]

Chocolate is four times better than kissing.
But I guess then both together might be better than either alone? I don't think the study covered that.

[Socratov]

Chocolate is four times better than kissing.
But I guess then both together might be better than either alone? I don't think the study covered that.

personally it would epend on the chocolate in questipn, and the one I'd be kissing. OFcourse the combination should be awesome...

[Viera Champion]

I just went on another date last night!:smallbiggrin:

[Socratov]

I just went on another date last night!:smallbiggrin:

Good on ya mate! *initiates fist-bump*

[Viera Champion]

Good on ya mate! *initiates fist-bump*

*return fist bump to person I have never met*:smallbiggrin:

[Mina Kobold]

I just went on another date last night!:smallbiggrin:

Hooray! :smallsmile:

On a somewhat silly note, since both Brony and Pegasister stem from gendered words, what would a Genderqueer Pony fan be called? Pegasibling? It is really silly, but it is the most topic-related thought I have had lately. :smallredface:

[Arachu]

Oh my gosh! That's great, Hun! *squeezing hug* that's awesome, just be careful not to try to stretch your range for too long. (I usually sing the soprano line for songs from wicked, just because then I'm not constantly switching. Is it a head voice or a clear falsetto? Their is a distinct difference. I can hit a soprano's high F, maybe higher when I switch.

I'm... Not certain how to tell. Does falsetto usually give people a steretypical "gay lisp"? 'Cause, I sound really really gay when I use that voice~ :smalltongue:

Also, *is hugged* n.n


I just went on another date last night!:smallbiggrin:

You also just got *hugs* and *high-fives*. :smalltongue: :smallbiggrin:


~Bianca

[Socratov]

Hooray! :smallsmile:

On a somewhat silly note, since both Brony and Pegasister stem from gendered words, what would a Genderqueer Pony fan be called? Pegasibling? It is really silly, but it is the most topic-related thought I have had lately. :smallredface:

Magical friend? Rainbow relative?

[Asta Kask]

Sometimes I wonder if the problem is that LGBTA people have to come out or that so few non-LGBTA people are willing to tell them to come in.


I just went on another date last night!:smallbiggrin:

So you say. But I see no photographic evidence.

[Viera Champion]

Oh yeah, details! Almost forgot.:smallbiggrin::smallwink:

We went to see Avengers in 3D and I spent the entire movie with my head on his shoulder and both my hands in his (totally the "girl" in this relationship, I apologize for the roughness of my terminology). Whenever he dropped one of his Sno Caps, I'd pick them up from his lap and feed them to him.:smallredface: There was some cheek kissing going on as well. Then we walked hand in hand through the shopping plaza over to a Chiles where we had dinner together. Then while we waited to get picked up, we sot on the edge of a fountain with a bunch of people leaving from the small concert that just happened and we talked and kissed, not really caring who saw or what they had to say.:smallredface:

Wow... I really went into detail...:smalltongue:


Sometimes I wonder if the problem is that LGBTA people have to come out or that so few non-LGBTA people are willing to tell them to come in.



So you say. But I see no photographic evidence.

Yeah. I keep forgetting to take pictures. Guess I get too caught up in the moment.:smallbiggrin:

[supernerd]

I just went on another date last night!:smallbiggrin:

*squee hugs* Spill! Spill! Spill!


Sometimes I wonder if the problem is that LGBTA people have to come out or that so few non-LGBTA people are willing to tell them to come in.



So you say. But I see no photographic evidence.

Once again I love you Asta (As my speech teacher, Mr. Love always said, "In a totally appropriate way. Air hug."). And I want pics too!


I'm... Not certain how to tell. Does falsetto usually give people a steretypical "gay lisp"? 'Cause, I sound really really gay when I use that voice~ :smalltongue:

Also, *is hugged* n.n


~Bianca

Mostly both sound like Mickey Mouse. So kind of, but there is usually a difference in tone quality. If it gives you a gay voice, then it might be nasally, but I will say that a gay voice is closer than a pure falsetto, because you'll want a mix. For falsetto think of "Sharie"

[supernerd]

Oh yeah, details! Almost forgot.:smallbiggrin::smallwink:

We went to see Avengers in 3D and I spent the entire movie with my head on his shoulder and both my hands in his (totally the "girl" in this relationship, I apologize for the roughness of my terminology). Whenever he dropped one of his Sno Caps, I'd pick them up from his lap and feed them to him.:smallredface: There was some cheek kissing going on as well. Then we walked hand in hand through the shopping plaza over to a Chiles where we had dinner together. Then while we waited to get picked up, we sot on the edge of a fountain with a bunch of people leaving from the small concert that just happened and we talked and kissed, not really caring who saw or what they had to say.:smallredface:

Wow... I really went into detail...:smalltongue:



Yeah. I keep forgetting to take pictures. Guess I get too caught up in the moment.:smallbiggrin:

You two are so adorable! I can't wait for a real relationship, because my romantic life is fecal matter. But I love hearing about you two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

So I was in school one day, and we have free time in the morning, and I discovered what it is to squee. It was like, "Wait, so this is how people squee?"

[Viera Champion]

You two are so adorable! I can't wait for a real relationship, because my romantic life is fecal matter. But I love hearing about you two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

So I was in school one day, and we have free time in the morning, and I discovered what it is to squee. It was like, "Wait, so this is how people squee?"

You've never squeed before? Also, for a second there I thought you meant a real relationship for me, and I was like huh? And then I figured out you were talking about yourself. Derp.