Funny Improvised Weapons

[Kansaschaser]

So, I'm building a new character for a campaign I've been in for a few months now.

I want to make a Monk/Drunken Master and dip into the Warblade so I can start taking the Bloodstorm Blade. I will be using the Bloodstorm Blade to throw my "Improvised Weapon".

Can the playgrounders give me so hilarious ideas for improvised weapons that can be thrown?

I've already thought of...

1. Pillows
2. Dead Fish
and
3. Dinner Plates

[Larkas]

1. Naga (http://images.wikia.com/powerlisting/images/d/d8/World_of_Warcraft_Naga_by_Crowtalon44.jpg)
2. Naga (http://anime.osiristeam.net/images/others09/slayers_naga.jpg)
and
3. Naga (http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/frontsquare/e5b9_razer_naga.jpg)

Just so you understand the joke: link (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=243299). =D

Anyways, on a "serious" list: shoes, cannonballs, chairs, tables, coins, cards, pieces of jewelry, pieces of machinery... Now, some of these might not be useful as weapons, but you will feel like Gambit throwing stuff like that around :smallbiggrin:

[Kansaschaser]

1. Naga (http://images.wikia.com/powerlisting/images/d/d8/World_of_Warcraft_Naga_by_Crowtalon44.jpg)
2. Naga (http://anime.osiristeam.net/images/others09/slayers_naga.jpg)
and
3. Naga (http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/frontsquare/e5b9_razer_naga.jpg)

Just so you understand the joke: link (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=243299). =D

Anyways, on a "serious" list: shoes, cannonballs, chairs, tables, coins, cards, pieces of jewelry, pieces of machinery... Now, some of these might not be useful as weapons, but you will feel like Gambit throwing stuff like that around :smallbiggrin:

Oh! I like the cards. The only difference is that with the Bloodstorm Blade, the cards return to you. If you roll a natural 1 on your attack, then the card is "destroyed". But, that means you'd have to roll a natural 1 over 50 times to go through a standard deck of cards.

Me: "I chuck a card at the guard. Oh, I critted! *rolls damage*"

DM: "Okay, you did enough damage to kill the guard. You chopped his head off with a playing card. *scratches head* What the hell are you playing again? Let me see your character sheet!"

Me: *snicker*

[Larkas]

Oh! I like the cards. The only difference is that with the Bloodstorm Blade, the cards return to you. If you roll a natural 1 on your attack, then the card is "destroyed". But, that means you'd have to roll a natural 1 over 50 times to go through a standard deck of cards.

Me: "I chuck a card at the guard. Oh, I critted! *rolls damage*"

DM: "Okay, you did enough damage to kill the guard. You chopped his head off with a playing card. *scratches head* What the hell are you playing again? Let me see your character sheet!"

Me: *snicker*

HAHAHAHAHAHA, I'd pay to see that :smallbiggrin:

[The Bandicoot]

Donuts
Eclairs
Just about any pastry.
Your DM's jaw that you pick up off the floor after you one-shot someone with a stale pastry.

[hydraa]

We had a similar character in a game I was playing. We had killed some giants. They had there bags of random giant stuff. Became a bag of improvised weapons.

[Larkas]

We had a similar character in a game I was playing. We had killed some giants. They had there bags of random giant stuff. Became a bag of improvised weapons.

Great idea! Grab a Bag of Tricks and throw small animals around! :smallbiggrin:

[D@rK-SePHiRoTH-]

Justiciar PRC

Improvised manacles proficiency

Ranged hog tie :smallcool:

[Cespenar]

Justiciar PRC

Improvised manacles proficiency

Ranged hog tie :smallcool:

Might not be valid, but this is definitely the right way of thinking.

[Rodimal]

my wifes current character is an unarmed fighter with Catch off Guard and Throw Anything among her feats (3.P homebrew game). So far she has thrown chairs, large rocks, various sticks, and a tea pot full of boiling water among other things.

[Kansaschaser]

Justiciar PRC

Improvised manacles proficiency

Ranged hog tie :smallcool:


Might not be valid, but this is definitely the right way of thinking.

Oh, I agree. That's a great idea. I was going more for humor than usefulness though. I guess if things got serious, I would put away my hilarious improvised weapons and start using things like the manacles.

[Keld Denar]

In a Living Greyhawk game a few gears ago, a buddy of mine was playing a Drunken Master. We were beating up some orcs in a barn, when some more orcs started coming into the barn. My friend ripped the arm off of one of the dead orcs and used it to bludgeon the new orcs to death. The splatter was...staggering.

[Snowbluff]

Chickens are great if you are an Iaijutsu Master from a Chicken Infested Commoner. :smallsmile:

[Sgt. Cookie]

The halfling.

Bottles and cans. Just clap your hands, just clap your hands

A ****load of cutlery.


Props to whoever gets any of those.

[D@rK-SePHiRoTH-]

Throw an enemy :smallconfused:
If you roll 1 he is destroyed :smallbiggrin:

[Dr.Orpheus]

Throw silver forks and call your self the Blue Raja (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEUV0v4-0Lg).

[nedz]

Any targets of a Shrink Item spell. My all time favourite was a hump backed bridge.

[maysarahs]

Got this idea for a character when a hammer head flew off its handle mid-swing: simple farmer type hears about fancy pants monks somewhere being badass with meteor hammers, decides to start adventuring because he wants to learn. Starts with a hammerhead tied to some rope.

"aye reck'nd this'd be what they use near's aye c'n figgr?"

[Invader]

A bag full of gnomes

[Craft (Cheese)]

Once I had an idea to build a character who could jump up into space, grab the moon, bring it down, then chuck it back into orbit, but the DM shut me down D:

(Rightfully, but still)

[D@rK-SePHiRoTH-]

Once I had an idea to build a character who could jump up into space, grab the moon, bring it down, then chuck it back into orbit, but the DM shut me down D:

(Rightfully, but still)Your DM is right: by the spot rules, you cannot see the moon :smallbiggrin:

[grarrrg]

You must use this.....HERRING!
http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/environment/wildlifeprotection/images/BluebackHerring(USFWS)-550.jpg

Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

[Honest Tiefling]

I see your halfling suggestion and raise you a Leadership suggestion. Or find a way to toss halflings holding pixies.

[Andreaz]

[3.PF] I have a psion//warblade gestalt in a game with, among other things, a druid//totemist. Some sort of colossal squid went right at our ship, and I didn't know anything to actually save the ship, just to survive without it.
So I pulled a few Strength-increasing tricks and hurled our druid at the krakken-thing.
Who happened to be a Huge bear with 12 natural attacks dipped deeply into poisons, diseases and fire.

[Exalted] Mostly, other people. There was this one time where I spun around a horse, smashing everyone within nearly 50 yards from me.

[animewatcha]

When Handy haversacks are sundered, contents spill onto the floor all over the place right? Is it possible to ready and action to throw a sunder'ed 'cheapest one' as the contents are pouring out so that you have more 'ranged attacks' then pounce?

[Crow]

Our group tried to raise a rag-tag army of commoners to fight off a coming orc invasion.

We equipped them with simple slings. Their ammunition? The thousands of gold pieces the group had accumulated over their adventuring careers.

Unfortunately, half the army deserted shortly after being issued their ammunition, and the half that remained burned through ammo at an alarming rate, and had to be resupplied much more often than one would expect.

[Doorhandle]

Reminds me of a pathfinder idea I had that involved a throwing-swordsman, who would use a full-attack, the two-handed throw feat, and rapid shot to toss 5 flachions a turn at his foes. :smallamused:

[kardar233]

I believe that the Iron Chef Drunken Master challenge had a Warforged that Alter Self'd into Animated Objects and then wielded himself as an improvised weapon. Adding Bloodstorm Blade would have you turn into a coatrack and then hurl yourself at your opponents.

[Doorhandle]

:eek:

...Dear god, that doesn't work on so many levels that any sensible d.M would let it do so! :smallbiggrin: :belkar:

[kardar233]

:eek:

...Dear god, that doesn't work on so many levels that any sensible d.M would let it do so! :smallbiggrin: :belkar:

Now we need a thread: "What is the most humiliating piece of furniture to be killed by?" I vote bathtub. There's something innately humbling about being bludgeoned to death by a flying piece of washing equipment.

~EDIT~ Also, can I sig you on that? It feeds my maniacal ego nicely.

[Craft (Cheese)]

I believe that the Iron Chef Drunken Master challenge had a Warforged that Alter Self'd into Animated Objects and then wielded himself as an improvised weapon. Adding Bloodstorm Blade would have you turn into a coatrack and then hurl yourself at your opponents.

Okay, I thought my Moon thing was pretty good, but this one basically wins the thread.

[Doorhandle]

Go right ahead.

[kardar233]

Okay, I thought my Moon thing was pretty good, but this one basically wins the thread.

And may I use that one, sir or madam?

[Raimun]

Let's see...

Forks
Spoons
Pieces of armor
Various finely tuned musical instruments
Art in general
Food in general
Healer's kits
Healer's kits' contents
Potions of Cure X Wounds (must be drinked to heal)
Wands of Cure X Wounds
Staff of Life
Staff of Life snapped in half (dual wield!)
Pieces of broken Merciful Weapons (to break the enchanment)
Endangered species
Unique creatures
Peace treaty papers
Pens used to write the said peace treaties
Ink bottles that provided the ink for the said peace treaties
Signet rings used on the said peace treaties
Diplomats who negotiated the said peace treaties
Diplomats in general
Pacifists in general
People benefiting from the said peace treaties
Heck, sentient species in general
... Heck, anything valued by anyone, ever.

... But not tankards filled with beer!

[nedz]

Let's see...

Forks
Spoons
Pieces of armor
Various finely tuned musical instruments
Art in general
Food in general
Healer's kits
Healer's kits' contents
Potions of Cure X Wounds (must be drinked to heal)
Wands of Cure X Wounds
Staff of Life
Staff of Life snapped in half (dual wield!)
Pieces of broken Merciful Weapons (to break the enchanment)
Endangered species
Unique creatures
Peace treaty papers
Pens used to write the said peace treaties
Ink bottles that provided the ink for the said peace treaties
Signet rings used on the said peace treaties
Diplomats who negotiated the said peace treaties
Diplomats in general
Pacifists in general
People benefiting from the said peace treaties
Heck, sentient species in general
... Heck, anything valued by anyone, ever.

... But not tankards filled with beer!

You're missing the kitchin sink.

[Venger]

I believe that the Iron Chef Drunken Master challenge had a Warforged that Alter Self'd into Animated Objects and then wielded himself as an improvised weapon. Adding Bloodstorm Blade would have you turn into a coatrack and then hurl yourself at your opponents.

gazebo jones. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9823824&postcount=132) the single greatest iron chef dish I have ever seen.

either through scrolls, a cohort, a party member, whatever, cast teleport through time (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/pg/20030409b) and throw yourself.

take levels in hulking hurler and take leadership + might makes right (leadership uses Str instead of cha) and get a hulking hurler cohort. join yourselves together at the belt with a length of chain. throw each other to achieve juggleflight (http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5764574/)

[grarrrg]

either through scrolls, a cohort, a party member, whatever, cast teleport through time (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/pg/20030409b) and throw yourself.

No dice on the throwing your time-displaced-self:

In the case that a traveler meets himself, the two travelers instantly lose control and attack each other with every ability and item at their disposal
So while you "can" throw yourself, it would not be for mutual profit, like you suggest.

[Venger]

No dice on the throwing your time-displaced-self:

So while you "can" throw yourself, it would not be for mutual profit, like you suggest.

well, throwing your alternate self is pretty attacky. I'd rule that that counts

[grarrrg]

well, throwing your alternate self is pretty attacky. I'd rule that that counts

Oh, you can definitely throw yourself, my point was that due to the nature of the spell, you would not be able to do so in a way where both of yourself would benefit. You'd only be able to throw yourself at, like, walls/rocks/etc... to try and hurt yourself.

So "Time-Travel throw-myself Flight" would be right out.

[hewhosaysfish]

Oh, you can definitely throw yourself, my point was that due to the nature of the spell, you would not be able to do so in a way where both of yourself would benefit. You'd only be able to throw yourself at, like, walls/rocks/etc... to try and hurt yourself.

So "Time-Travel throw-myself Flight" would be right out.

Powerstones of Fission (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/psionic/powers/fission.htm)?

[Rodimal]

oh I forgot the best one: Boot to the head. Literally. She picked up a boot in a cobblers shop, threw it at the guy assaulting him and rolled a confirmed crit.


out

[hex0]

When I think of improvised weapons, I think of two things. First, in Iron Monkey when they fight with umbrellas. Second, in Cowboy Bebop when Spike gets in a fight in a convenience store and puts the guy under a coffee dispenser.

[INoKnowNames]

It is this kind of thing that makes being in a party worth it. Pick up the party mage, buffed with xirs 30 different spells making xe immortal and invincible, and you have yourself a pretty nifty weapon.

Heck, how much different is a Warforged from a Greatsword anyway?

[D@rK-SePHiRoTH-]

Still, the improvised weapon would be destroyed with a roll of an 1, so it's not advisable to use a playing character

[hex0]

Still, the improvised weapon would be destroyed with a roll of an 1, so it's not advisable to use a playing character

What is the rule on this destruction though? Is it a knock out or what. AFB

[kardar233]

It just says "breaks or is rendered useless". Hence why you should use Gnomes as ammunition.

[LordDrakulzen]

I'm a fan of throwing cats around. Especially aiming for a spellcasters face. If you're allowed called shots that is.

BBEG:"I summon thee mighty..."

Throwing specialist:Screw that spell, called shot to the face

DM: What are you attacking with?

TS: The wizards familiar, the black cat

DM: Roll

TS:Nat 20!"

BBEG: AAKKKK!!!!!"

[Novagraf]

I was DMing a fight in like an arena with a golem, the 2 PCs were fighting it and one of them jumped into the stands, went over to a family and picked up their baby and threw it at the golem and rolled 20/20/20....

Another character that was made would have garden gnomes appear around him when he stood still, if he moved first a gnome would fly and hit him, the gnomes had a chance to randomly fall over the one that did would show up in his hand to be thrown... it was an interesting character

[georgie_leech]

I'm fond of the Vow of Poverty Drunken Master Monk that dual wields Bananas, myself.

[Randomguy]

You could get to huge size somehow, take the snatch feat, and beat someone to death with one of their allies. It's even funnier if you roll a natural 1 and break the person you're attacking with.

[panaikhan]

Donuts
Eclairs
Just about any pastry.
Your DM's jaw that you pick up off the floor after you one-shot someone with a stale pastry.

Battle-scones. Enough said :P

[Dexam]

Can the playgrounders give me so hilarious ideas for improvised weapons that can be thrown?

Remember... it's OK to (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdVHjDA-Nhk&t=4m54s) play with dolls! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeMaVLDbo8o&t=6m56s)


Donuts
Eclairs
Just about any pastry.
Your DM's jaw that you pick up off the floor after you one-shot someone with a stale pastry.

Give them cake! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvG_LKVrFe8)

[LordDrakulzen]

Forget my cat, Dwarven-War bread.

From Stronginthearm Bakery/Armory

Available at all disreputable retailers in Ankh-Morpork or Pseudopolis...

[Dairuga]

1. Naga (http://images.wikia.com/powerlisting/images/d/d8/World_of_Warcraft_Naga_by_Crowtalon44.jpg)
2. Naga (http://anime.osiristeam.net/images/others09/slayers_naga.jpg)
and
3. Naga (http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/frontsquare/e5b9_razer_naga.jpg)

Just so you understand the joke: link (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=243299). =D



DEAR PELOR, WILL THAT THREAD NEVER GET TO REST IN PEACE!?

[Duskranger]

The most funny improvised weapon I did ever throw was a barstool in a barfight. It used lots of DM help to work, but someone ran away while smashing his allies with the barstool, so I threw it. The DM went rule of awesome at that moment and told me I did hit the guy.

In other words Barequipment, mugs, seats, barkeep

[doko239]

Best improvised weapon use I've seen was from Shadowrun as opposed to d20. For anyone familiar with the system, I give you Krunch and Klubb:

Krunch is a max-Strength Troll with max ranks in the Exotic Weapon: Metahuman Body skill. He wields Klubb as, well, a club.

Klubb is a max-Body Dwarf, who for obvious reasons, is permanently punch-drunk.

Due to the fact that damage dealt by a metahuman body is based on the Body attribute of the "weapon", Krunch and Klubb could theoretically deal more damage than almost any other melee-range weapon in the game.

Other than that, I once played in a game of "We Be Goblins!" for Pathfinder, in which I strapped a rather large firework to my back and used myself as a projectile. That was a fun game.

[Karoht]

*In Scottish Accent*
"Och, it just isn't oatmeal unless you can use it as ammunition in a siege weapon."

[Kansaschaser]

Other than that, I once played in a game of "We Be Goblins!" for Pathfinder, in which I strapped a rather large firework to my back and used myself as a projectile. That was a fun game.

Okay, I have to admit that the "Goblin strapped to a large firework" made me laugh when I visualized it.