MUHA Chat Thread I

[Welknair]

MUHA I: Power has a Price (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=246322)
-Winner: Temotei's Chronoshifter (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=13594549&postcount=7)

First competition thread is up! It isn't open for another two days as to allow me to make tweaks to the rules and descriptions as needed.

[Virdish]

Yay! I'll get a rough draft of my idea together and start posting. how long do we have till judging starts?

[Welknair]

Yay! I'll get a rough draft of my idea together and start posting. how long do we have till judging starts?

I haven't had the degree of conversation with the other judges that I would have liked, so I'm asking that nothing be submitted for at least another two days (Which really ought not be a problem). The submission period is listed in the contest thread, as June 14th through July 14th, after which the thread will be closed for judging.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

> . > I've never officially home brewed on a thread. I've made some custom things in D & D and implemented them...however none stick out as the uniqueness you're looking for. Let me see what I can think up...it's been awhile .

[Virdish]

Alright missed the period of the contest in the op. That gives me an idea of how much I'll be able to crank out though. I'll be able to get the basic mechanic's together and hopefully two of the three base classes that will be needed to work with the mechanics. I already know that this is going to be something that will recieve a gratuitous amount of work even after the start to work out bugs and whatnot. I'm already excited.

[bobthe6th]

migh pull a true hell fire warlock base class... could be silly fun...

[Techwarrior]

migh pull a true hell fire warlock base class... could be silly fun...

CURSES! When I read the contest idea, that was my first thought. Hm... Now to other ideas...

[Funinyourgame]

I was just wondering if your class must be already balanced and have the perfect explication (like perfectlly right how SR must be written) or it can be rewrite after you win. If yes will I be disqualified because of this? I'm not really good with my spelling (english is not my main language and in D&D terms).

Thank you in advance and have a nice day :smallcool:

[Welknair]

I was just wondering if your class must be already balanced and have the perfect explication (like perfectlly right how SR must be written) or it can be rewrite after you win. If yes will I be disqualified because of this? I'm not really good with my spelling (english is not my main language and in D&D terms).

Thank you in advance and have a nice day :smallcool:

As per the competition thread, "Balance" is one of the four scoring criteria and thus the balance of your work will indeed be a factor in your overall score. Once the competition is over, contestants are free to create separate threads for their submissions to further flesh out their ideas and iron out the kinks.

[Milo v3]

I hope that we get a good number of entries. Power always should have a price.

[Welknair]

I hope that we get a good number of entries. Power always should have a price.

I quite agree. I'd like to see at least 15 entries.

Before I forget: If you have any suggestions on changes to be made, please send me a PM. Ditto goes for Owthro. This is why posting isn't open for another two days - to allow the judges to give me input on potential problems with rule setups, etc. etc.

I'm quite curious to see what people come up with!

[bobthe6th]

can a work use other hombrew? like, if I made a TWF based class, could I refrance some TWF fix as what the class used? this is just hypothetical, the warlock will probably mostly be blaster v5...

[Welknair]

can a work use other hombrew? like, if I made a TWF based class, could I refrance some TWF fix as what the class used? this is just hypothetical, the warlock will probably mostly be blaster v5...

Submissions ought to be self-contained. I suppose I should make a rule to that effect. They may reference non-core material, but no other homebrew. One option for a much later competition is one where you must build upon a previous submissions, but if we ever do that, it'll be much later.

[Eldan]

Hm. I might be actually motivated to finish my ritual casting system. Or as finished as it will ever be, rather. It's sort of open-ended.

[Techwarrior]

If we take similar fluff, but completely different crunch, is that acceptable?

[Welknair]

If we take similar fluff, but completely different crunch, is that acceptable?

Similar to previously created works? Or to other contestants? Some amount of fluff overlap is alright, but on the whole, try to keep things original. Hence the "Originality" scoring criterion.

[Eldan]

Hm. I'm not sure how original my Ritual system actually is. THe basic principle is taking core spells that have a relatively large effect on the world and rewriting them so that they can not really be cast in combat, while simultaneously giving them possible drawbacks and making them available to non-casters. However, at the basis they are still the same core spells.

[Virdish]

Hurry up and open submissons lol I've almost got my rough draft done.

[Welknair]

Hm. I'm not sure how original my Ritual system actually is. THe basic principle is taking core spells that have a relatively large effect on the world and rewriting them so that they can not really be cast in combat, while simultaneously giving them possible drawbacks and making them available to non-casters. However, at the basis they are still the same core spells.
I suppose it really would depend on execution. Some embellishments (A new ritual-centric base-class or rewrites of old casting classes) would probably help.


Hurry up and open submissons lol I've almost got my rough draft done.
Patience! I'm still making some tweaks to the rules, and still need to talk with other judges. It'll be open soon enough.

[Eldan]

My rewrites of old casting classes do exist, but they are already posted. So, that doesn't really work.

Hrm. If this contest went online two days earlier, I would have posted my sorcerer here instead of my other thread :smalltongue:

I'll see if I can think of anything else. I don't think so, really.

[Techwarrior]

Ok, have an idea. Going to attempt a Cleric fix. With a new way for healing spells to work.

[Welknair]

I'll see if I can think of anything else. I don't think so, really.

Nothing else? You could make a base class that allowed individuals to be extremely strong, but risk personal injury or debilitation. You could make a chain of feats to aid any individual in a narrow area, but hinder them elsewhere. You could create a a group of "Dark Magic" spells that were very powerful, but would slowly corrupt the user (Admittedly something like this already comes from BoVD, but hey). There's tons of other options.

[Eldan]

Yeah, but I'm really bad at writing mechanics. The two ideas I had have been lying around in my notes for months. I can't just pull mechanics out of my hat in just over a month.

[Welknair]

Yeah, but I'm really bad at writing mechanics. The two ideas I had have been lying around in my notes for months. I can't just pull mechanics out of my hat in just over a month.

Have you tried? :smalltongue: If you can't, you can't, but I do think it would be very cool if you entered something.

[Eldan]

The last three hours or so? I have an open notebook here. It now contains two ugly pencil sketches (a wizard exploding into small chunks and some kind of alchemical diagram), three unconnected paragraphs of fluff, two silly character names, a pun I will use in my next chat game and a line of question marks with a heading saying "mechanics".

[Welknair]

The last three hours or so? I have an open notebook here. It now contains two ugly pencil sketches (a wizard exploding into small chunks and some kind of alchemical diagram), three unconnected paragraphs of fluff, two silly character names and a line of question marks with a heading saying "mechanics".

I've actually been meaning to make a meta-brew thread about creative processes. If it helps, my best ideas come to me in flashes when I am A) Supposed to be doing something else and B) Very sleep-deprived. That's how I got Fourthland! :smallbiggrin:

Perhaps take a more sequential approach? Do you know what sort of thing you want to make? A single base class? Feats? A mechanics rewrite? Once you get that chosen, I'd imagine the next step (Actually deciding where to go with that medium) would be a bit easier.

Side note: I don't think Judges are supposed to advise contestants, but I'm just nudging you towards a starting point, so I think it's alright.

[Eldan]

Actually, writing that up got me an idea for a rewrite to the alchemy mechanics. So I suppose that's something.

As for doing this sort of thing... I usually write the fluff first, then begin to worry about how to make mechanics out of it.

[Welknair]

Actually, writing that up got me an idea for a rewrite to the alchemy mechanics. So I suppose that's something.

As for doing this sort of thing... I usually write the fluff first, then begin to worry about how to make mechanics out of it.

Glad to hear it!

I think I'll go make that creative-process thread now, as I want to talk about it but don't want to derail the thread.

[DiBastet]

Well, I suppose I can enter the contest and post something, too.

My submission probably won't be a hgh scorer on creativity, since "blood mage" isn't exactly a "never thought about that!" concept...

[Welknair]

My submission probably won't be a hgh scorer on creativity, since "blood mage" isn't exactly a "never thought about that!" concept...

Useful note: Originality encompasses both originality of fluff and originality of mechanics. It's entirely possible to take an age-old theme and remake it in a novel way.

[Chronologist]

Hmm... I am fairly swamped with other projects at the moment, but I will endeavor to come up with something. I'm fairly well versed when it comes to alternate magic systems, especially psionics. Would something in that vein be appropriate, or are we sticking to more core D&D concepts?

Power with a price. I like that theme. It goes very well with Horror campaigns, which are my personal favorite.

[Welknair]

Hmm... I am fairly swamped with other projects at the moment, but I will endeavor to come up with something. I'm fairly well versed when it comes to alternate magic systems, especially psionics. Would something in that vein be appropriate, or are we sticking to more core D&D concepts?

Originality is highly valued in this competition - By all means do something with an alternate magic system! Working within an alternate is a possibility, as is making one of your own. Pretty much anything's game here.

[Morph Bark]

I can assure everyone that if they manage to BLOW MY MIND, I will give them ONE JILLION DOLLARS.

I don't even care WHAT you make, as long as you make SOMETHING.

Be it feat chains, tactical feats, a new monster with a bloodline attached, a prestige class with some spells, a base class with an entire new magic system (which can be as simple or as complicated as you like it), a group of races under a new subtype, a race with a Paragon class and racial substitution levels or a racial prestige class, new optional rules in the same vein as the rules for Honor/Taint/Reputation/Contacts in Unearthed Arcana (or the SRD), a legacy weapon, a pair of artifacts opposed to each other that are in a delicate balance, a major artifact broken into several pieces that each count as minor artifacts that grant special new abilities depending on which of the pieces you combine, a magic item set with some nice lore behind it.

For all you care or I know or the opposite you might even write a little story and afterwards think "HM, I WONDER HOW HE DID THAT" and base some little homebrew thingies off of it that are related to one another.

Just remember that there is ONE and ONE ONLY, SINGLE guideline:


Power
has a
Price

[Welknair]

-Snip-

From now on you're writing the theme-descriptions. If you don't mind, I'd very much like to add that to the competition thread.

[Amechra]

Aww hell yeah!

I'll post my idea after I post my Iron Chef entry.

It shall be... glorious.

[Welknair]

It shall be... glorious.

This is the part where everyone should run and hide.

[Morph Bark]

From now on you're writing the theme-descriptions. If you don't mind, I'd very much like to add that to the competition thread.

She's all yours, Cap'n!


This is the part where everyone should run and hide.

This is the part where I'm getting out the Tesla coils, breathing apparati, wine glasses, fireworks, smoke engine, bagpipes, dragon milk, awakened labrats and prismatic confetti cannons.


I'm helping!

[DiBastet]

well well well... I JUST got a new idea... this may will take a lot of interesting work... :smallamused:

[Welknair]

This is the part where I'm getting out the Tesla coils, breathing apparati, wine glasses, fireworks, smoke engine, bagpipes, dragon milk, awakened labrats and prismatic confetti cannons.


I'm helping!
And this is exactly why you're a judge and not a contestant. There'd be no Golden Mindsplodes rest over for the rest of the entrants.

(How in the world are you not on the Fourthland thread? You are the exact type of person this game is geared towards)


well well well... I JUST got a new idea... this may will take a lot of interesting work... :smallamused:

This promises to be a very interesting first contest!

[Morph Bark]

(How in the world are you not on the Fourthland thread? You are the exact type of person this game is geared towards)

I am actually holding off until my exams are all over, because I know it is going to draw me in with the force of a thousand suns and turn my ears into double rainbows.

[Eldan]

I think I have to withdraw. I just found out that my alchemy idea was already done, and better. Partially by Djinn in Tonic, partially by Pathfinder, and partially by a handful of other people.

My next idea was an idea for magically binding vows and blood oaths, before I remembered there was already a thread on that. That I posted in, several times.

[madock345]

Will we be able to get PEACH'ED and edit our homebrew after submission? or will whatever we submit be final?

[Welknair]

I am actually holding off until my exams are all over, because I know it is going to draw me in with the force of a thousand suns and turn my ears into double rainbows.
Probably a wise decision, from what I hear reading that thread is like getting into a good comic - You lose track of time and wind up eating Swordness Pie.


Will we be able to get PEACH'ED and edit our homebrew after submission? or will whatever we submit be final?
Submitted works will be judged at the end of the submission period. Until that time, you are free to edit and revise your submission. This is supposed to be a measure of your personal brewing ability, not your ability to accept and utilize feedback. Without being able to post your submission in a separate thread during the submission period, I'm not entirely sure how you'd go about getting PEACHs. You may ask for hints or ideas here, but that's about it.

This DID make me think of an interesting competition idea for later, where people have to work in pairs, having their works hook into each other. That'd be pretty sweet.

[Admiral Squish]

... I have a very vague framework for a demonic blood mage on my computer. Is the blood mage idea still taken?

I could always come up with something new.

[Welknair]

... I have a very vague framework for a demonic blood mage on my computer. Is the blood mage idea still taken?

I could always come up with something new.

I believe someone else is already intending to do a Blood Mage, though it's possible to use the same idea, I suppose. Glad to see you're interested in the competition!

[Admiral Squish]

I believe someone else is already intending to do a Blood Mage, though it's possible to use the same idea, I suppose. Glad to see you're interested in the competition!

Hmm. Well, I could just peel off the blood magic part and just make an interesting and highly demonic base class. Just a more interesting sort of warlock. Or peel off the class levels all together and develop it into a system for selling your soul.

But then, there are plenty of other ideas I could develop, too.

[DiBastet]

Oh, I won't be developing a subsystem for blood magic anymore, I'm going to do something far harder and more complex, so, feel free for blood mages!

[Morph Bark]

Rule #1 of GITP Homebrew Challenges, Competitions and Contests: There is no such thing as calling dibs, which means multiple people can try to go for highly similar concepts, as they will most likely end up with highly different execution and fluff most likely as well.

Rule #2 of GITP Homebrew Challenges, Competitions and Contests: Morph always calls dibs.

[Admiral Squish]

Rule #1 of GITP Homebrew Challenges, Competitions and Contests: There is no such thing as calling dibs, which means multiple people can try to go for highly similar concepts, as they will most likely end up with highly different execution and fluff most likely as well.

Rule #2 of GITP Homebrew Challenges, Competitions and Contests: Morph always calls dibs.

Oh, I know there's nothing he can do to stop me if I want to build something in the same vein, and it's not illegal. Still, it would bug me if somebody came in and worked off the same concept that I did, so I feel it's simply polite to ask first.

I might not even do blood mage now. I'm liking the idea of soul-selling.

[Welknair]

Rule #1 of GITP Homebrew Challenges, Competitions and Contests: There is no such thing as calling dibs, which means multiple people can try to go for highly similar concepts, as they will most likely end up with highly different execution and fluff most likely as well.

Rule #2 of GITP Homebrew Challenges, Competitions and Contests: Morph always calls dibs.

Rule #3 of GITP Homebrew Challenges, Competitions and Contests: Morph is immune to all rules, even the ones he makes.


Wait, I thought the first rule of Homebrew Challenges was not to talk about homebrew challenges? :smalltongue:

[DiBastet]

Oh, I know there's nothing he can do to stop me if I want to build something in the same vein, and it's not illegal. Still, it would bug me if somebody came in and worked off the same concept that I did, so I feel it's simply polite to ask first.

I might not even do blood mage now. I'm liking the idea of soul-selling.

Oh now you're wrong. I know where you live (on your back, in your heart), your family and friends, and I can stop you with the power of...

...

of...

...well, I can't. But at least I don't WANT to stop you!


(man, I should sleep and not post while working...)

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Looking at going on the elemental topic, but I have a few interesting setbacks based on some beliefs I have with the behavoir of each. We'll see what I decide.

EDIT: OH MY GOODNESS, I JUST CAME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY. OH DEAR. OH...this is going to be fun. :smallamused:

[Temotei]

Under forbidden action in Wrath, the sinner of wrath is called a warmonger, but then under skills, he's called a slugabed. Which is it?

[Admiral Squish]

:smallmad:
I suppose that seals it, I'm off to come up with a new idea.

[Morph Bark]

Under forbidden action in Wrath, the sinner of wrath is called a warmonger, but then under skills, he's called a slugabed. Which is it?

Likewise, Lust has a similar thing going on. For Wrath, I presume warmonger, as slugabed is used by Sloth already.

[Welknair]

I have to ask: Are the Bloodlines mentioned the SRD ones, or mine? It'd be very flattering if it were the latter, but sadly I think I've previously stated that you aren't supposed to use tie-ins to other homebrew. And what degree are they? Major?

[Amechra]

The dreaded cut-and-paste demon strikes again!

And yeah, they were meant to be yours. Darn, I missed the part about not tying into other homebrew, which isn't in any other contest so...

I'll fix up some typos and then will think up some bennies, vale?

Other than that, though, what do you think?

[Welknair]

The dreaded cut-and-paste demon strikes again!

And yeah, they were meant to be yours. Darn, I missed the part about not tying into other homebrew, which isn't in any other contest so...

I'll fix up some typos and then will think up some bennies, vale?

Other than that, though, what do you think?

On the topic of tie-ins, I haven't seen that in any other as well.. If Judges agree to it, I think we could allow. Do note that you will of course be judged on your submission, not work your submission ties to.

On the whole I think it's a quite cool system, and definitely the type of thing we're looking for.

[Admiral Squish]

I suppose my main issue with your soul-selling arrangement is that the benefits you gain aren't related to the sin you've become an embodiment of. I could sell my soul to lust to gain a draconic bloodline, for no apparent reason. That doesn't connect for me. What I'd like to see is benefits related to the sin.

In the class/concept/mechanic I was working on, Sloth give you denial and defensive abilities, based on the theme of immovability and inaction. Wrath gave you elemental blaster powers. Pride turned you into a gish. Gluttony was about self-buffing. Envy was curses. Lust had enchantment abilities and mind control. I hadn't figured out greed yet.

I figure if my work's not gonna help me here, it might as well help somebody.

EDIT: Also, what happens when you die? Can you be resurrected at all, does it cost more to drag your back to the material plane, away from the contract holder?

[DracoDei]

Amechra:
Can't be bothered to read thread. Do the -1 penalties for violating the ban ever go away? As written they don't.

I would go ahead and do the "Bloodline" tables, perhaps in a nested spoiler. Also, you never said if it is a major, minor (or average?) bloodline.

[Amechra]

They go away when you slake your Need.

And I was going to make them more specific, I swear; I typed that entire thing with my iPod Touch, so I felt that, screw it, I'd save the effort on my first draft.

I'll trawl around... a refluffing of the Valentine's Day Inherent might work for Lust, though it is less of the Sexxx and more of the debauchery.

Because Lust applies to all excess, you know.

Edit: Plus, I'm gonna include later rules for generisizing the whole thing out to include demonic pacts and such.

Actually... I'm gonna take a look at dragon-pacts again; they might be the little bit of mechanics that fixes up my little idea...

[Owrtho]

On the topic of tie-ins, I haven't seen that in any other as well.. If Judges agree to it, I think we could allow. Do note that you will of course be judged on your submission, not work your submission ties to.

On the whole I think it's a quite cool system, and definitely the type of thing we're looking for.

I personally don't see a huge issue with an entry making use of some other homebrew provided that it doesn't compose the majority of the work. Using the bloodline example, having and entry that can grant bloodlines among many other things seems fine, while an entry that is solely about granting bloodlines would not be fine unless the bloodlines being granted are made by the author as part of the entry.

Owrtho

[Welknair]

I personally don't see a huge issue with an entry making use of some other homebrew provided that it doesn't compose the majority of the work. Using the bloodline example, having and entry that can grant bloodlines among many other things seems fine, while an entry that is solely about granting bloodlines would not be fine unless the bloodlines being granted are made by the author as part of the entry.

Owrtho

I am similarly in favor of this notion. This is our new policy towards other-homebrew-tie-ins.

[Lohj]

Heyo, folks. Posted my submission. First time in any contest of this sort, so here's hoping.

[Techwarrior]

18th level is listed as 1108 pool. Then it dips back down.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I suppose my main issue with your soul-selling arrangement is that the benefits you gain aren't related to the sin you've become an embodiment of. I could sell my soul to lust to gain a draconic bloodline, for no apparent reason. That doesn't connect for me. What I'd like to see is benefits related to the sin.

In the class/concept/mechanic I was working on, Sloth give you denial and defensive abilities, based on the theme of immovability and inaction. Wrath gave you elemental blaster powers. Pride turned you into a gish. Gluttony was about self-buffing. Envy was curses. Lust had enchantment abilities and mind control. I hadn't figured out greed yet.

I figure if my work's not gonna help me here, it might as well help somebody.

EDIT: Also, what happens when you die? Can you be resurrected at all, does it cost more to drag your back to the material plane, away from the contract holder?

I like where you're going with this! Yeah...greed is a bit harder to translate...Maybe greed could be something about spell absorbsion or a....vacuum ability? The ability to draw things toward you or into something.

[Owrtho]

I like where you're going with this! Yeah...greed is a bit harder to translate...Maybe greed could be something about spell absorbsion or a....vacuum ability? The ability to draw things toward you or into something.

Wouldn't the obvious thing to do with greed be granting powers that let them take possession of things and keep it?

Owrtho

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Wouldn't the obvious thing to do with greed be granting powers that let them take possession of things and keep it?

Owrtho

Hm. So like levitational snatching/disarming and binding?

[Welknair]

I like where you're going with this! Yeah...greed is a bit harder to translate...Maybe greed could be something about spell absorbsion or a....vacuum ability? The ability to draw things toward you or into something.

I read a cruddy short story in which the protagonist was a Wizard that had had the manifestation of Greed trapped inside him. The immediate effect was that it ate his mana and energy (He was very lazy), so even though he was a powerful wizard, he had to rely on his apprentice to give him power to use when he needs it. He also had a tendency to just absorb spells cast against him.

[Lohj]

18th level is listed as 1108 pool. Then it dips back down.

Fixed. And thank you. Didn't notice. :smallbiggrin:

[Amechra]

Hmmm...

The way I'm gonna handle sins in general, it's gonna be less of a supernatural manifestation than a supernatural skill.

So Greed would be better at breaking in/pickpocketing/all that fun stuff.

Alternatively, I could steal some stuff from Puppy-Man (http://www.sincomics.com/index.php?30)...

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I read a cruddy short story in which the protagonist was a Wizard that had had the manifestation of Greed trapped inside him. The immediate effect was that it ate his mana and energy (He was very lazy), so even though he was a powerful wizard, he had to rely on his apprentice to give him power to use when he needs it. He also had a tendency to just absorb spells cast against him.

Interesting. That leads me to think of yet another power with a price: the ability to cast magic is a disease that is slowly killing the user. Something akin to radiation, or something. Gah, so many ideas, no muse to flesh them out. Must contain ideas to one subject.

[Amechra]

Interesting. That leads me to think of yet another power with a price: the ability to cast magic is a disease that is slowly killing the user. Something akin to radiation, or something. Gah, so many ideas, no muse to flesh them out. Must contain ideas to one subject.

NO!

Don't sleep for, like, 3 days then write all your homebrew ideas simultaneously.

Then come back later to correct spelling and grammar.

It will either be crap, or gloriousness!

[kanachi]

I'm not sure if my Idea qualifies as it’s more of a fundamental game change than anything else. I’ll run it very quickly by you and see what you think?

The basic idea is to do away with all this swift, move, standard and full round action business and instead break the game down into six (or maybe even ten) second chunks of action points.

At the start of each round a player sets a dice in front of them (or next to their figure) reflecting how many seconds of action they have left in the round. So if I go with a 6 second breackdown, everyone sets their dice to 6. You don’t have to use dice, it could be anything (tokens, cards, sweets… just don’t eat them!)

Anway, when it’s your turn to act within the initiative order you must spend 1 or more (up to your max) action points to “do something” and then pass the action onto the next participant, reducing your action points (dice value) as necessary. If a participant has no action points they are skipped.

This cycle loops around the initiative order until no one has any action points remaining and then a new round begins. Action points may not be carried over, they must always be spent even if they are spent “doing nothing”.

Ultimately this means a near total re-build of the entire game system. However, it does allow for time to be handled differently and for actions to be re-assessed in terms of the time they take to accomplish.

I should just quickly note that many actions would have an “activation time” which triggers at the start of their performers next participation. Other actions like moving or performing an attack are immediately resolved but cost a set number of action points. This would be a core difference between magic and martial classes.

Anyway, In terms of how it would fit in with the contest the idea would be that power (actions) comes with a "price" in time.

Would something like this qualify for submission? and how complete would you want it to be?… The system itself can be spelled out but I think a team of people would be needed to re-cost everything in terms of action times (and that’s just the core stuff).

[TheWombatOfDoom]

NO!

Don't sleep for, like, 3 days then write all your homebrew ideas simultaneously.

Then come back later to correct spelling and grammar.

It will either be crap, or gloriousness!

I don't have the luxary to do such things! Full time jobs and things of thing-ie-ness hamper such creative methods! Agh. All my ideas have such massive implications and multifaceted changes to the game. For my first homebrew, I'm beginning to think I might have bitten off more than I can chew. As a hint, I'm toying with divine magic. Toying is an understatement. So, with this newest idea, i could combine it and develop a complete new system for magic in general, but that causes me to flail my hands at the keyboard and foam at the mouth. I can't do that. I shouldn't do that. I might do that.

I don't even know where to begin.

If one could not tell, I'm rather sleep deprived as it is.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I'm not sure if my Idea qualifies as it’s more of a fundamental game change than anything else. I’ll run it very quickly by you and see what you think?

The basic idea is to do away with all this swift, move, standard and full round action business and instead break the game down into six (or maybe even ten) second chunks of action points.

*snip*

Would something like this qualify for submission? and how complete would you want it to be?… The system itself can be spelled out but I think a team of people would be needed to re-cost everything in terms of action times (and that’s just the core stuff).

...let me know if you need help. This looks interesting.

[Owrtho]

Alternatively, I could steal some stuff from Puppy-Man (http://www.sincomics.com/index.php?30)...

You could also steal ideas from Widdershins (http://www.widdershinscomic.com/?webcomic_post=sleight-of-hand-cover) (I'm looking at you Lancelot Sidney Arthur Oliver Malik).

Owrtho

[Kazyan]

Oh you better believe I am on this like suck on Monk.

...Nothing like revamping the divine system, though. Just something smaller. I've only read the last page of this thread so I hope the idea isn't stolen.

Has anyone called dibs on familiars yet?

Edit: And there is a part specifically about not calling dibs. K GOING TO BE COMPETENT NOW. :smalltongue:

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Oh you better believe I am on this like suck on Monk.

...Nothing like revamping the divine system, though. Just something smaller. I've only read the last page of this thread so I hope the idea isn't stolen.

Has anyone called dibs on familiars yet?

Edit: And there is a part specifically about not calling dibs. K GOING TO BE COMPETENT NOW. :smalltongue:

I'm working on reworking (ha) divine magic as well, though we'll probably be branching in different directions. Hopefully. :smallwink:

[Kazyan]

I'm working on reworking (ha) divine magic as well, though we'll probably be branching in different directions. Hopefully. :smallwink:

I meant that I wasn't stepping anywhere near your toes, or being so ambitious. No, I'm just blowing the concept of familiars wide open and reworking the rules for them.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I meant that I wasn't stepping anywhere near your toes, or being so ambitious. No, I'm just blowing the concept of familiars wide open and reworking the rules for them.

I look forward to seeing this! I'm trying to quell this monster I've created, but all it's doing is getting bigger. :smallfrown:

[kanachi]

...let me know if you need help. This looks interesting.

I'm thinking maybe i should post this as a separate thread and see if i can gather a group of willing people to go through the various aspects (spells for example) and bring them into line with this system. If I do so, I would be more than happy to have your help, though obviously things would need vetting before being accepted into the system outright.

Back to my original post however, would something like i proposed (in basic form) be allowed as a submission?

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I'm thinking maybe i should post this as a separate thread and see if i can gather a group of willing people to go through the various aspects (spells for example) and bring them into line with this system. If I do so, I would be more than happy to have your help, though obviously things would need vetting before being accepted into the system outright.

Back to my original post however, would something like i proposed (in basic form) be allowed as a submission?

As far as I understand, they'll take anything. The more unique it is, the better. Just make sure you tie in the power has a price thing and you should be groovy. As far as posting this idea elsewhere and then submitting it here, I must urgently insist you don't! You'll be disqualified if this is posted anywhere else in the forums but in the contest!

[Kazyan]

So I was worried about not being able to finish in time because of moving, and then I realized it's June, not July. Extra month, yay!

How are everyone's brews going?

[Morph Bark]

Contest Revival Posing Technique!

http://galeri.uludagsozluk.com/45/johnny-bravo_103076.gif

http://images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/2600000/Johnny-Bravo-cartoons-2612953-300-338.jpg

http://www.patrickbrinksma.nl/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Johnny-Bravo-psd57582.png

MU HA HOO!

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Contest Revival Posing Technique!

http://galeri.uludagsozluk.com/45/johnny-bravo_103076.gif

http://images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/2600000/Johnny-Bravo-cartoons-2612953-300-338.jpg

http://www.patrickbrinksma.nl/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Johnny-Bravo-psd57582.png

MU HA HOO!

Oh man. How great would it be if there was a contest for homebrewing cartoon feats or classes, races, mechanics, so on. I'd homebrew Dexter's class, hands down. Stewie, Mandark, Dexter, and others would fall into his class.

[kanachi]

So I was worried about not being able to finish in time because of moving, and then I realized it's June, not July. Extra month, yay!

How are everyone's brews going?

I've yet to write mine up (though i have lots of notebook scribbles), its a bit to daunting at this moment as its a pretty major change. I will try to get round to it however.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I've yet to write mine up (though i have lots of notebook scribbles), its a bit to daunting at this moment as its a pretty major change. I will try to get round to it however.

Same. I'm glad it's until the 28th now for similar reasons! Otherwise I'd never get it done. Good luck on your end!

[Techwarrior]

So I've been working on this whole Divine caster fix for a while now. It's about 60 percent of the way done. Then from the dark recesses of my mind something dark, wicked, and probably evil whispers into my ear.

"I have an idea..."

Since that happened an hour and a half ago, I've not stopped writing yet.

It shall be... Powerful

But...

That power has a price.........

[Techwarrior]

So, blood magic, class isn't done yet, and it's actually going to be recieving a veeery thorough overhaul as soon as I finish typing it out.

[DracoDei]

Oh man. How great would it be if there was a contest for homebrewing cartoon feats or classes, races, mechanics, so on. I'd homebrew Dexter's class, hands down. Stewie, Mandark, Dexter, and others would fall into his class.
I haven't got the time to spare to enter this contest*, but if you somehow missed it I should direct you to Falling Anvil in my sig...

*And the Grace-Gift would have fit this contest too... *sigh*.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I haven't got the time to spare to enter this contest, but if you somehow missed it I should direct you to Falling Anvil in my sig...

And the Grace-Gift would have fit this contest too... *sigh*.

YES! Awesome!

[Temotei]

I'm currently working on a base class for the contest. I've only got a rough idea of what to do with it, but we'll see how it turns out.

[Morph Bark]

I'm currently working on a base class for the contest. I've only got a rough idea of what to do with it, but we'll see how it turns out.

I haven't seen homebrew from you in a while. I'll be waiting to see what you churn out.

[Temotei]

I haven't seen homebrew from you in a while. I'll be waiting to see what you churn out.

I just posted this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=13520749&postcount=1) yesterday, the muse (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=13197229&postcount=1) a while ago (though it's probably really bad, since I did it all while very tired), and the sentinel (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=13196296&postcount=1) not too long ago, in case you didn't see. [/shameless plugs]

[Morph Bark]

Those classes are from exactly two months ago, I see. I suppose that can count as a while. :smalltongue: Admittably, I hadn't seen your Muse yet! I suppose since you have one, getting inspiration should be easy for you!

Personally, I find it... :smallcool: amusing.

/shot

[Temotei]

Those classes are from exactly two months ago, I see. I suppose that can count as a while. :smalltongue: Admittably, I hadn't seen your Muse yet! I suppose since you have one, getting inspiration should be easy for you!

Personally, I find it... :smallcool: amusing.

/shot

:smallbiggrin:

[Morph Bark]

So we have about a week left! How's it going, lads?

[kanachi]

So we have about a week left! How's it going, lads?

Not so well... I doubt i will get mine done. I may try and put something else together instead though.

Best of luck to everyone!

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Batman.... - o - zzzzzzzzz

So tired.

[Temotei]

So we have about a week left! How's it going, lads?

Fairly well, actually. I just have a few things I definitely want to finish off, which should happen today or tomorrow. Then I'm thinking about adding a few more cookies in there for fun and fleshing. I'll have to make it two posts if I do, though. It's around 36,000 characters right now and I still have to add some.

[Temotei]

Question: Can I submit a base class supported by two prestige classes, or would the prestige classes be counted as separate submissions and therefore be disqualified?

[Morph Bark]

Question: Can I submit a base class supported by two prestige classes, or would the prestige classes be counted as separate submissions and therefore be disqualified?

Since Welknair's not been on for 4-5 days and I haven't seen him on Skype, I think with the time left I'll answer this one.

If you think you can handle such a big project, I'd say go for it. It sounds very ambitious and if you pull it off right could earn you some good points. As long as the PrCs are tied very strongly to the base class (up to or near to the point where only that base class can be used to enter it or more than a dip is necessary to enter the PrCs), I'd count it as a single entry. Something like that would especially fit for a new subsystem of sorts.

[Temotei]

Since Welknair's not been on for 4-5 days and I haven't seen him on Skype, I think with the time left I'll answer this one.

If you think you can handle such a big project, I'd say go for it. It sounds very ambitious and if you pull it off right could earn you some good points. As long as the PrCs are tied very strongly to the base class (up to or near to the point where only that base class can be used to enter it or more than a dip is necessary to enter the PrCs), I'd count it as a single entry. Something like that would especially fit for a new subsystem of sorts.

Thanks much. :smallsmile:

[Techwarrior]

Might be a bit late, but going on that... would an entire plane, with a new subtype of creatures (similar to Archons, Angels, Baatezu, Taanari in the kind of subtype), items, magic system, etc be acceptable?

[Morph Bark]

Yes.

As long as it has a price. :smallcool:

[Techwarrior]

It does, but it might be out of your price range Morph :smallwink:

[Temotei]

EDIT: Alright, I forgot that I couldn't use anything outside of originality, so I'll have to change the two warps that cause the overcharged status condition.

I have 49,925 characters in my current entry, not including its impact on the world. I'll have to make a new post probably containing no more than 100 words. :smallsigh:

EDIT: Apparently GitP counts differently than Word. Weird. A couple hundred in the next post, then. :smallredface:

[Morph Bark]

It does, but it might be out of your price range Morph :smallwink:

Out of my price range? Ha! Who did you think caused Bahamut and the metallic dragons to be decked out in shiny platinum, gold, silver, bronze, copper and brass? Who did you think paid for the forging of the scales of the ferrous dragons? Who engineered the inlaying of Sardior with a million rubies and gave him enough gems to create a dragonkind of his own? Who turned the Heavens silver, golden, pearly, crystal and platinum, made Jovar glittery and funded the illumination of Chronias? Who had all the brass mined for the City named for it in the Plane of Fire? I did! I, Morpholomeus Bark, god of change! So named because even major artifacts are like pocket change to me, which makes it hard for me to think of new things I want to buy or ask for Christmas or my birthday. :smallfrown:


I have 49,925 characters in my current entry, not including its impact on the world. I'll have to make a new post probably containing no more than 100 words. :smallsigh:

EDIT: Apparently GitP counts differently than Word. Weird. A couple hundred in the next post, then. :smallredface:

Nice! And yeah, I think GitP doesn't count spaces.

[Temotei]

Nice! And yeah, I think GitP doesn't count spaces.

Actually, I think it counts blank lines, because it counted another 2,000 or so.

[Welknair]

I'm back! Wow, a suddenly 4 pages. I've got some 'brewing to read, it would seem!

[Zaydos]

Well might as well throw my scales into the ring. Took me a day and a half, but I think I've got something thrown together; just got to format it for the forum. Not sure if the last bit I wrote is any good, little bit sleep deprived at the moment.

[Temotei]

Well might as well throw my scales into the ring. Took me a day and a half, but I think I've got something thrown together; just got to format it for the forum. Not sure if the last bit I wrote is any good, little bit sleep deprived at the moment.

The story focuses on a female, but in the first paragraph after it, you switch to "their" and then "his," then to "them" and "they." It's probably best if you stick with one pronoun, whether feminine or masculine. I'd recommend feminine, since the story tells of a female's "salvation." I'll help you find these missteps as I read through your work. The non-feminine pronouns will be bold.

Critique in spoilers for size:

Forged through a pact with the powers of Mount Celestia, a Runebound Knight has traded their freedom for the power to serve as a weapon of good in the world. A Runebound Knight has a runic pact inscribed upon his very soul, and by calling upon these words of power can invoke powerful magic even at the cost of burning through the energy of his very essence. This pact enforces upon a Runebound Knight a code of conduct, striking them ill should they stray from the path of good.

The theme of the contest is already found in the first paragraph. Alright.


A Runebound Knight is created when an archon makes a pact with a mortal granting the mortal the ability to channel forth the full power of their soul in exchange for serving as a weapon for the promotion of good in the world. A Runebound Knight is always fully informed as to the nature of the pact before accepting, and the act of accepting the pact burns through their soul serving to recreate it and imbue you with the power of Celestia.

The fact that the pact's tenets are known before given to the mortal ALWAYS is a nice touch. I like that.


Often this pact is given as a deal for a being who fell onto the road of evil, a final chance at redemption a form of celestial parole for those who have committed crimes against justice. More rarely a noble soul in need of aid will be rewarded with this investiture of power, warned prior that to accept means pledging ones entire being to the pursuit of justice. Either way a Runebound Knight finds themselves on a road that is never ending, always the battle against evil and never can the rest too long. Such is the life of one who has traded their soul for the sword.

In the underlined section, you should have a dash or somesuch. I also underlined "ones" because of a lack of an apostrophe. I feel like some weird English teacher who won't leave you alone. Bleh.


The Ritual
The exact details of the ritual are up to the DM, only one possibility is described in the short intro story above. In effect the Ritual is simply taking the first level of Runebound Knight. It also offers the option to retrain all of your class levels into Runebound Knight and change your feats around. This represents the chance for change given to those who accept it as a step onto the path of righteousness. It also functions as an atonement spell allowing an instant change in alignment to Good or Lawful Good.

I actually really like this. The flexibility in storytelling, character backgrounds, and plot hooks is really cool, all set up in a simple, easy-to-use way.


Adventures: A Runebound Knight’s pact leads them to great sweeping quests in the name of good. A simple life is not for them, and by making their pact cannot be theirs any longer. A Runebound Knight will often quest for whatever noble cause presents itself, seeing few other options. Others seek a means to escape their pact by whatever means possible, only obeying it when they must and always looking for scraps of eldritch knowledge that may free them.

Characteristics: The Runebound Knight can fight along the front lines, a fully competent warrior. Even so they are ultimately a weapon forged by the powers of Mount Celestia for the purpose of combating evil on the Prime and it is only against evil that their full combat ability come to the front. A Runebound Knight is a resilient warrior who can alloy their combat prowess with a wide array of magical abilities. Unfortunately they must be wary for their powers are fueled by their very soul and over use can lead to death.

Alignment: Most Runebound Knights eventually become good or dead, their code enforcing a path of righteousness which leads those which hold onto their evil ways to inevitably find themselves dead or worse. Law comes easy to most Runebound Knights, even if inevitably their code forces them to choose good over it. Chaotic individuals chafe unbearably under the constraints placed upon them; even those who would make such choices by nature usually find the fact that they no longer have a truly free choice in the matter unbearable.

Religion: Runebound Knights are not necessarily religious, their powers coming from a celestial source as opposed to a divine one. Even so many Runebound Knights find themselves worshipping gods of Law and Good, especially warrior gods such as Heironeous. Others find themselves turning away from the gods, believing that if even the archons are seeking mortal agents then the gods of good are not living up to their responsibilities.

Background: Many a Runebound Knight has a background they’d prefer to forget or erase, starting on their path as a chance of redemption for acts they have committed. These people can come from a variety of backgrounds as the Ritual of Branding can reshape a person almost entirely. Others lived exemplary lives, but in a time of great need called out to the forces of light and found their request for help answered through the only means available.

Races: Every race can spawn a paragon of justice, or one who is willing to risk everything for redemption. Many Runebound Knights rise from amongst the tieflings, attempting through service to the divine to overcome the prejudice against their evil blood. Aasimar often become a Runebound Knight seeking to emulate their own celestial ancestor. Amongst the more common races humans and half-orcs are the most likely to enter onto the path of a Runebound Knight. Few are the elves or dwarves who would sell their longs life into service of even a noble cause.

Other Class: A Runebound Knight sees a kinship of sorts with Paladins and Crusaders, even if many feel pangs of jealousy that the powers of these comrades in arms do not endanger them so. Clerics of good aligned gods are an easy ally and fellow in battle, while those which serve dark gods make the most hated foes besides true fiends. A Runebound Knight has little truck with druids, as a druid’s sphere of activity is the natural world and a Runebound Knight deals more in matters of Good and Evil. Arcanists in general a Runebound Knight sees little reason to trust, too often in their duties must they fight a man made mad with the unlimited power that such offers; few admit that they are often more than a little jealous of the safety with which a wizard can use his powers. A psionicist is typically viewed in a better light, their mental discipline and reduced powers seeming to stave off the worst of the temptation towards darkness. Rogues and others of their ilk who focus on mundane skills are considered useful by Runebound Knights for their ability to perform several tasks that they cannot easily. Meanwhile fighters and others who rely upon brute force of weapons are either respected for their courage, or looked down upon for their foolishness.

In warlocks a Runebound Knight finds a twisted mirror, both have traded away full rights to their soul in exchange for the power to change the world; some find it ironic that the dealing with celestials may be the more dangerous. Binders are of special interest for they make pacts dealing with the sanctity of their soul, but instead of a permanent alteration merely allow a creature to ride along with their soul for the interim. Finally those who wield incarnum, especially for noble causes, can also elicit a Runebound Knight’s interest as their power is another, albeit safer, means of channeling the energy of their own soul into a weapon.

Role: A Runebound Knight is a warrior first. Their magical abilities allow them to augment this with powerful physical buffs, magical healing, and even debuffs and direct magical attacks but ultimately their first weapon is their might of arms. Their resistance to blows from non-evil foes and their ability to increase their defenses give them some stamina while their ability to smite evil foes gives them offense against those foes most likely to overcome their defense. Their most powerful ability, though, is their Soul Runes and ability to act as a front-line combat caster wading into combat with the power of their soul burning bright. Runebound Knights act as their name would imply, fighting on the front line till the day is saved or their light is extinguished.

I have the urge to skip to the abilities right now. Suppress. :smallredface:


Abilities: A Runebound Knight requires Charisma first and foremost. Their spell saves are set by their charisma and their spells reduce their charisma each time they are cast meaning that their Charisma directly determines how many spells they may cast each day as well as their power. Strength and Constitution are the next most important abilities. Strength determining their ability to hit and deal damage without relying on their Soul Runes, meaning the higher their Strength the more they can fall back on their Soul Runes as secondary abilities for solving problems outside of combat, and Constitution determines their in combat durability which is important on the front line.
Dexterity, Intelligence, and Wisdom all take a back seat to these three. Dexterity is still important for determining when they act in the first round of combat and their AC, even though they may wear heavy armor. Intelligence determines their skill points. Wisdom maintains a strong mental defense although their ability to boost their saving throws, a strong Will save, and their code granted protection against compulsion that would force them to act against it means that they may be able to make it their lowest priority. That said doing so comes at a price as to grossly violate their pact they must make a Will save based on their level.

Alignment: A Runebound Knight can be any alignment, although the tenants of their pact will often lead them towards Neutral or Good alignment if they survive.

Pretty standard fare. From here on, I'll skip using bold on pronouns.


Hit Dice: d10.
Starting Age: As fighter.
Starting Gold: 6d4 x 10.

Class Skills:
The Runebound Knight’s class skills and the key ability for them are: Autohypnosis (Wis), Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Diplomacy (Cha), Heal (Wis), Jump (Str), Knowledge (religion) (Int), Knowledge (the Planes) (Int), Ride (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), and Use Magic Device (Cha).

Skill points per level: 4 + Int modifier.

Depending on where the class goes from here, I could also see Gather Information (Cha), Listen (Wis), Profession (Wis), and Spot (Wis) working, too. I like the Autohypnosis addition. That's interesting.


Soul Runes: *snip*

Violations

Least Violations: *snip*

Minor Violations: *snip*

Moderate Violations: Slaying an unconscious neutral creature who attempted or committed an evil act in your presence.

Why is slaying an unconscious foe who has a possibility of turning good better than killing an unconscious neutral thing that's done evil while in your sight? Just curious. I could be missing something. Perhaps it's the implied relation between the knight and "foe" compared to the implied relation between knight and "neutral creature."


Major Violations: *snip*

Dire Violations: *snip*

Grave Violations: *snip*

Special: For every week a Runebound Knight spends without actively using their powers to improve the world a Runebound Knight suffers a cumulative -4 to Charisma. This penalty instantly fades once a Runebound Knight acts to perform acts of good to cleanse evil. This penalty does not accrue should the Runebound Knight be unable to further the cause of good.

In addition to acting as a code constraining a Runebound Knight’s actions, his Soul Runes fuel his magical powers. These determine the highest level Soul Runes he can use and his use of them, although the actual activation is described in Burn Soul. These abilities are Spell-like abilities. Your Soul Rune level is equal to your class level and any levels in Prestige Classes which raise it and acts as your Caster Level for your Soul Runes.
A Soul Rune deals no damage, ability damage or drain, and/or negative levels to good creatures, and only half damage, ability damage or drain, and/or negative levels to neutral creatures. By twisting the rune a Runebound Knight can deal half damage, ability damage or drain, and/or negative levels to good creatures or full to neutral creatures. Doing so inflicts penalties similar to violating their pact and such penalties are listed together.
Finally the Soul Runes preserve the soul from the effects of negative energy, bolstering it even as they are fueled by its essence. If a Runebound Knight would gain negative levels equal to their character level they instead gain 1 less than their character level.
The save DC of your Soul Runes is 10 + spell level + your Charisma modifier.

Ah, that explains the Will save DCs above. As you follow the path of light and get stronger for it, the DCs get harder to bypass. I like it.

I'll continue this tomorrow. Until then, feel free to respond and whatnot and say what you'd like out of my critique most or something. I dunno. Whatever. :smalltongue:

[Welknair]

Things are certainly heating up in the last few days! Some of these projects are quite impressive!

[Morph Bark]

I really hope my note in the Homebrew Tier Compendium that I'd Tier MUHA base class entries did not contribute to there being mainly base class entries in this first instance of the contest, especially since non-conventional entries (something other than a class or creature) have slightly more favour from me by default.

This isn't to say those instantly win me over, far from it, but by virtue of that they are far more likely to pull ahead in the originality department and possibly the mechanics department, if done well. Though base classes tied to subsystems are certainly subject to that as well, so there's that. :smalltongue:

[Zaydos]

I really hope my note in the Homebrew Tier Compendium that I'd Tier MUHA base class entries did not contribute to there being mainly base class entries in this first instance of the contest, especially since non-conventional entries (something other than a class or creature) have slightly more favour from me by default.

This isn't to say those instantly win me over, far from it, but by virtue of that they are far more likely to pull ahead in the originality department and possibly the mechanics department, if done well. Though base classes tied to subsystems are certainly subject to that as well, so there's that. :smalltongue:

I didn't see that note... I just had two ideas that fit so I decided to go with the one that didn't involve gibbering madness and the Far Realm.

Edit: I'm also tempted to try and whip up some racial substitution levels now. I mean I'll have all Thursday I can make 2 sets of racial substitution levels in that time. Though they're rather theme neutral; maybe the PrC I'm contemplating. I think the homebrew bug bit again :smallbiggrin:

Edit 2: Also on the subject of tiers I think my class ended up a higher tier than I normally aim for (I actually think my preferred balance point is low 3 to 4) :smallredface:

[Techwarrior]

Mine is not only a base class, I just haven't really managed to update my post from the Word document that I've been using to type everything up on yet.

[Temotei]

I really hope my note in the Homebrew Tier Compendium that I'd Tier MUHA base class entries did not contribute to there being mainly base class entries in this first instance of the contest, especially since non-conventional entries (something other than a class or creature) have slightly more favour from me by default.

This isn't to say those instantly win me over, far from it, but by virtue of that they are far more likely to pull ahead in the originality department and possibly the mechanics department, if done well. Though base classes tied to subsystems are certainly subject to that as well, so there's that. :smalltongue:

Base classes are my favorite. :smalltongue:

[Amechra]

Don't think I'm gonna rewrite my entry, at least not until I really feel the theme I was going for again.

Yeah, I just lost the thread. See you guys next time!

[Phosphate]

Aaand my crunch is basically done. Flavor will follow soon-ish.

Who needs hit points anyway? ;)

[Zaydos]

The story focuses on a female, but in the first paragraph after it, you switch to "their" and then "his," then to "them" and "they." It's probably best if you stick with one pronoun, whether feminine or masculine. I'd recommend feminine, since the story tells of a female's "salvation." I'll help you find these missteps as I read through your work. The non-feminine pronouns will be bold.

Critique in spoilers for size:


The theme of the contest is already found in the first paragraph. Alright.



The fact that the pact's tenets are known before given to the mortal ALWAYS is a nice touch. I like that.



In the underlined section, you should have a dash or somesuch. I also underlined "ones" because of a lack of an apostrophe. I feel like some weird English teacher who won't leave you alone. Bleh.



I actually really like this. The flexibility in storytelling, character backgrounds, and plot hooks is really cool, all set up in a simple, easy-to-use way.



I have the urge to skip to the abilities right now. Suppress. :smallredface:



Pretty standard fare. From here on, I'll skip using bold on pronouns.



Depending on where the class goes from here, I could also see Gather Information (Cha), Listen (Wis), Profession (Wis), and Spot (Wis) working, too. I like the Autohypnosis addition. That's interesting.



Why is slaying an unconscious foe who has a possibility of turning good better than killing an unconscious neutral thing that's done evil while in your sight? Just curious. I could be missing something. Perhaps it's the implied relation between the knight and "foe" compared to the implied relation between knight and "neutral creature."



Ah, that explains the Will save DCs above. As you follow the path of light and get stronger for it, the DCs get harder to bypass. I like it.

I'll continue this tomorrow. Until then, feel free to respond and whatnot and say what you'd like out of my critique most or something. I dunno. Whatever. :smalltongue:

I... I... thank you :smallredface: Clarified with the foe one that it meant an evil aligned one.


Don't think I'm gonna rewrite my entry, at least not until I really feel the theme I was going for again.

Yeah, I just lost the thread. See you guys next time!

Ah I liked the sins entry from what was up.


Aaand my crunch is basically done. Flavor will follow soon-ish.

Who needs hit points anyway? ;)

If I do, Improved Toughness my friend :smallcool:

[Phosphate]

Quite.....

[Temotei]

Continuing the critique of the runebound knight.

Again, spoilers for size. Also, I won't be going through individual abilities from now on--only ones that seem problematic or outstanding.


Smite Evil: Once per minute, a Runebound Knight may attempt to smite evil with one normal melee or ranged attack. She adds +4 bonus to her attack roll and deals 1 extra point of damage per Runebound Knight level. For example, a 13th-level Runebound Knight armed with a longsword would deal 1d8+13 points of damage, plus any additional bonuses for high Strength or magical affects that would normally apply. If the Runebound Knight accidentally smites a creature that is not evil, the smite has no effect, but the ability is still used up for that day.
At 4th level, and every 3 levels there after the rate at which a Runebound Knight may use her Smite Evil ability improves as listed on the table above.

Saying the ability is "used up for that day" is misleading, as it's a once-per-minute ability. Rewording would dispel any confusion.


Bolster Resistance (Su): The pact which fuels a Runebound Knight’s powers also protects her. By taking 2 points of Charisma burn (this charisma burn cannot be prevented in any way) as an immediate action a Runebound Knight may add her class level to the next saving throw she makes.

A runebound knight can take the 2 points of Charisma burn, rest to negate it, and then still have the bonus on her next saving throw since there's no time limit. Is that intended? If not, perhaps just make it give the bonus to a save as a reaction. It's already an immediate action, anyway.


Shelter Ally (Su): The Runebound Knight cannot be expected to only defend themselves. By dealing herself an additional 1 Charisma burn a Runebound Knight may activate Bolster Resistance or Bolster Defense on another creature within 30-ft instead of herself.

Is the bonus based on the target's level or the runebound knight's level? I'd imagine it's the runebound knight's level that determines it, but clarification in text would definitely clear it up.

At this point, the table has "Aegis of the Divine" while the text has "Aegis of the Celestial Soldier." I prefer the latter, for the record, but it's your choice. Just make it uniform.

In the same feature, you might as well make it full Charisma modifier. Not only is the runebound knight taking penalties to her Charisma regularly, it's also only to AC, which by this level doesn't matter as much.


Transference (Su): A Runebound Knight has learned to push the ravages of her soul onto her body. Beginning at 18th level once per day a Runebound Knight may transfer all Charisma burn, damage, and/or drain she is currently suffering to an equal amount of Strength, Constitution, or Wisdom burn, damage, and/or drain.

Based on the wording, it seems like you have to choose which of the three you want the penalties on, but I'm going to ask anyway: Can you split the penalties among Strength, Constitution, and Wisdom?


Paragon of Glory (Ex): A Runebound Knight’s Soul Runes blossom into full splendor and her powers rise to match. At 20th level a Runebound Knight takes 1 less point of Charisma burn to activate Foe Bond, Bolster Defense, Bolster Resistance, Empower Soul Rune, Quicken Soul Rune, and Reactive Soul Rune. The cost to use Reburn the Runes becomes 0 to change a single Soul Rune known as an action taking 10 minutes, 2 to change them all as a full-round action, 1 to change a single Soul Rune known as a swift action, and 4 to change them all as a Swift action.
In addition if the Runebound Knight is not Lawful Good she may immediately change their alignment to Lawful Good as if through the Atonement spell.
If the Runebound Knight is Lawful Good, or ever becomes Lawful Good, her type changes to Outsider and she gains the Law, Good, and Archon subtypes. She gains the ability to Teleport without Error (self plus 50 lbs of gear only) at-will and the save DC for their Aura of Menace gains a +2 racial bonus. She gains any other Outsider and Archon traits she does not already possess.

Atonement makes the creature's alignment match the caster's, for the record. Fluff would indicate, then, that an archon is using the ability from the heavens when the runebound knight reaches this point. Interesting.

Can the runebound knight still be raised with spells that an outsider cannot be raised with? It'd be nice to have that in there, if so.

Also, some of the features in the table don't show up below in text. Although they are self-explanatory, it's probably best if you add entries for them for clarity. Electricity Resistance 5 could just explain that the runebound knight reduces electricity damage by 5 and at higher levels, it rises to 10, and so on. The abilities that don't have entries are: Electricity Resistance, Immunity to Petrification, and +4 on saves versus poison.

Overall, it's actually fairly simple despite its dual-specialization aspect of unique spellcasting and combat prowess, though not in a bad way. My favorite part is the fluff. Soul-selling to the good guys usually doesn't happen, which makes it unique and fun. Pretty much every feature has ties to good and makes you feel like a real warrior of good, but I can see some really badass characters coming out of this. The capstone solidifies this feeling with the runebound knight basically becoming an archon herself, which is pretty awesome.

It seems really well put-together. The only things I have against it are the constantly-changing masculine-feminine-impersonal pronouns and some small wording issues, highlighted above. I'd feel good playing one of these. Well done.

Alright, so not much to say, I guess. That's a good thing, I reckon.

[Welknair]

Submissions for the first MUHA competition are officially closed! We'll try to get the judging done within the next few days.

[Milo v3]

The entries look good, it will be interesting to see how this works out.

I'll start examining the entries in depth.

[Zaydos]

Continuing the critique of the runebound knight.

Again, spoilers for size. Also, I won't be going through individual abilities from now on--only ones that seem problematic or outstanding.



Saying the ability is "used up for that day" is misleading, as it's a once-per-minute ability. Rewording would dispel any confusion.



A runebound knight can take the 2 points of Charisma burn, rest to negate it, and then still have the bonus on her next saving throw since there's no time limit. Is that intended? If not, perhaps just make it give the bonus to a save as a reaction. It's already an immediate action, anyway.



Is the bonus based on the target's level or the runebound knight's level? I'd imagine it's the runebound knight's level that determines it, but clarification in text would definitely clear it up.

At this point, the table has "Aegis of the Divine" while the text has "Aegis of the Celestial Soldier." I prefer the latter, for the record, but it's your choice. Just make it uniform.

In the same feature, you might as well make it full Charisma modifier. Not only is the runebound knight taking penalties to her Charisma regularly, it's also only to AC, which by this level doesn't matter as much.



Based on the wording, it seems like you have to choose which of the three you want the penalties on, but I'm going to ask anyway: Can you split the penalties among Strength, Constitution, and Wisdom?



Atonement makes the creature's alignment match the caster's, for the record. Fluff would indicate, then, that an archon is using the ability from the heavens when the runebound knight reaches this point. Interesting.

Can the runebound knight still be raised with spells that an outsider cannot be raised with? It'd be nice to have that in there, if so.

Also, some of the features in the table don't show up below in text. Although they are self-explanatory, it's probably best if you add entries for them for clarity. Electricity Resistance 5 could just explain that the runebound knight reduces electricity damage by 5 and at higher levels, it rises to 10, and so on. The abilities that don't have entries are: Electricity Resistance, Immunity to Petrification, and +4 on saves versus poison.

Overall, it's actually fairly simple despite its dual-specialization aspect of unique spellcasting and combat prowess, though not in a bad way. My favorite part is the fluff. Soul-selling to the good guys usually doesn't happen, which makes it unique and fun. Pretty much every feature has ties to good and makes you feel like a real warrior of good, but I can see some really badass characters coming out of this. The capstone solidifies this feeling with the runebound knight basically becoming an archon herself, which is pretty awesome.

It seems really well put-together. The only things I have against it are the constantly-changing masculine-feminine-impersonal pronouns and some small wording issues, highlighted above. I'd feel good playing one of these. Well done.

Alright, so not much to say, I guess. That's a good thing, I reckon.

Thank you, both for the advice and the compliments :smallredface:. Meant to reply earlier but not sure what happened, think I got kicked off the computer and forgot.

As for in-depth reviews I started to try one but the base classes ate up time and it was on my laptop which I don't have access to the internet with on weekends so it might be ready in a few days.

[Techwarrior]

Curses! I still hadn't finished my typing up the entry when I had to go rescue my sister. Guess the monsters, plane description, and bloodline will just have to go unjudged. At least I got the class done though.

[Morph Bark]

Curses! I still hadn't finished my typing up the entry when I had to go rescue my sister. Guess the monsters, plane description, and bloodline will just have to go unjudged. At least I got the class done though.

Finish them anyway and post them outside the contest. :smallwink:

[Madara]

Wow, I noticed the thread the day it ended :smallsigh:

Still I really enjoy the concept of this competition, and you've selected some great judges. Plus this theme would have been really fun to do....

Now I have to wait for the next one....but I will be ready!

[Temotei]

Are we allowed to post our creations outside of the MUHA, or should we wait until judging is done and we get our scores, etc.?

[Welknair]

Are we allowed to post our creations outside of the MUHA, or should we wait until judging is done and we get our scores, etc.?

Submissions are over, so you may now post outside. Just no editing inside.

[Temotei]

Submissions are over, so you may now post outside. Just no editing inside.

Cool beans.

[Zaydos]

So has this died? I was looking forward to another one.

[Milo v3]

Who won? I submitted my votes, did everyone else?

[Temotei]

So has this died? I was looking forward to another one.


Who won? I submitted my votes, did everyone else?

Yeah, I've been kind of anxious to see how I did. :smallredface:

[Owrtho]

I think I might beholding up the results (for which I apologize). I went out of town the week that the contest ended, and then forgot to look over everything upon my return. I'll try to judge everything before the end of this weekend.

Owrtho

[DracoDei]

It would be very helpful if the first post of the thread were kept updated to link to the CURRENT contest, like Vorpal Tribble used to do with his monster contests.

[Temotei]

It would be very helpful if the first post of the thread were kept updated to link to the CURRENT contest, like Vorpal Tribble used to do with his monster contests.

In that vein, a link from the MUHA thread to the chat thread would be really nice. Like, I might not have to subscribe to both.

[Welknair]

At long last the scores have been tabulated and a winner determined! Congratulations to Temotei, the first ever winner of the Mixed Ultimate Homebrew Contest! Apologies that that took so long! With any luck we should have a new contest up within a week or so.


In that vein, a link from the MUHA thread to the chat thread would be really nice. Like, I might not have to subscribe to both.
There is a link (Rule 9), but you're right - I'll make it more obvious in the next contest.

[Zaydos]

How were the totals determined? The totals on some are the same despite the numbers in the other 3 fields being universally higher for one than the other.

[Welknair]

How were the totals determined? The totals on some are the same despite the numbers in the other 3 fields being universally higher for one than the other.

*Facepalm* It dropped the "Balance" column head and shifted numbers... One sec, fixing it now.

Edit: Well, that was embarassing. Fixed now, though.

[Temotei]

:smalleek::smallbiggrin:

Whoo!

[Morph Bark]

Looks like I won't be taking Temotei's kneecaps after all in a most ironic manner. :smallamused:

You're getting off easy this time! Congratulations.


I hope for the next one the judging period can be more defined and with a clear end. I bear some of the responsibility for this one's lateness, due to needing to turn my life around. I'm still looking for a job, but at least all the other hurdles are pretty much cleared as of now, so that's all good. :smallsmile:

[Madara]

At long last the scores have been tabulated and a winner determined! Congratulations to Temotei, the first ever winner of the Mixed Ultimate Homebrew Contest! Apologies that that took so long! With any luck we should have a new contest up within a week or so.


There is a link (Rule 9), but you're right - I'll make it more obvious in the next contest.

Yes! I must get in on this! Its such a cool contest.

[Welknair]

Quick opinion wanted: What do you guys think about the posting of the scores for the four categories? Is that something that we should continue, or do away with? On one hand it gives contestants more feedback, but on the other it may be discouraging if you got a lower score. Thoughts welcome.

[Temotei]

Quick opinion wanted: What do you guys think about the posting of the scores for the four categories? Is that something that we should continue, or do away with? On one hand it gives contestants more feedback, but on the other it may be discouraging if you got a lower score. Thoughts welcome.

Speaking as objectively as I can, I think the way you're doing it is good so that we can improve on our things in the future.

[Zaydos]

I prefer getting back the scores for each category.

[Techwarrior]

I would go so far as to say I'd like to see the individual scores and totals for each, but that might cause problems, so might not be the best idea. What you have now is fine by me.

[Morph Bark]

The individual scores given by each judge, if that's what you mean, will never be given. However, considering everyone so far seems to prefer the scoreboard presented the way it is, we'll likely keep it that way. I initially brought it up with Welknair as I thought we'd only announce the winners of the categories and overall winner, rather than posting scores; since we weren't going to show the judge scorings, I figured we wouldn't show scorings at all, so that was one of the vague parts about this contest, which we can now fix for the next one. :smallsmile: