PDA

View Full Version : Norad's Hombrew Races



Norad906
2012-06-16, 05:05 PM
hey guys, it's me, norad906, and I'm here to show you my homebrewed Player Races so please tell me what you think! I worked very hard on each and every one of them, and I would greatly appreciate positive feedback or constructive criticism.

RACES
Durmal Corzsha
Durmal Corzsha, or just Corsha, are incredibly tall, thin humanoids that are solidly built and have wit to match. They are residents of tall forests and are very uncomfortable in dense urban environments.
Personality
Corzsha are mild mannered and gentle, and as a result most people like them. Most have very good hearts, but all dislike chaos and destruction. They speak slowly and carefully whenever possible, and most do not mind repeating themselves.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Durmal Corzsha stand at over 9 feet tall and weigh about 300 pounds. They resemble a cross between a feline and a bovine creature, with long snouts and have very short and very light brown fur on their faces. The rest of their fur is darkish brown or brownish purple, and while their body fur is short, monthly grooming is a symbol of good class.
RELATIONS
Corzsha get along very well with individuals of any race with a lawful alignment, but naturally distrust any form of orc.
ALIGNMENT
Always, always, ALWAYS lawful. Evil Corzsha is rare but existent.
LANDS
They have no race-oriented government or nation, but many forested lands contain high amounts of Corzsha population. All-Corzsha Hamlets or Towns are usually next to Elven lands.
RELIGION
Most worship Wee Jas, but they have been known to worship lawful gods, such as St. Cutherbert or Rem
LANGUAGE
They have no race-specific language. They are traditionally taught Common, Gnomish, and Elven.

Racial Traits
- +2 Dexterity, +1 Intelligence, +2 Wisdom, +1 Charisma -2 Strength
-Large Humanoid
-Base land speed is 30
-Aura of Law (Su)
-Tree-Climber (Na) Corzsha are natural tree climbers, and gain a +5 on all climbing skill checks. As long as a Corzsha is carrying a medium or light load, treat its climbing skill as +3 it's natural amount. This ability allows for a skill over the current max, even if it is a cross class skill. Any effect that negatively affects climbing skill or dexterity negates this ability.
-Law-Tongue (Ex) Corzsha gain a +4 on diplomacy checks to lawful characters. Corzsha always suffer a -3 penalty to intimidate checks to any alignment.
-Devoted Study (Ex) If a Corzsha becomes a Wizard, if he chooses to specialize in any school other than Divination or Necromancy, you only need to forbid one school. A Corzsha cannot specialize in Neccromancy, but can still cast Necromancy Spells of one less than his current level.
-Spell-like abilities: 1/week Remove Disease, Inspire Competence
-Automatic languages: Common Bonus languages: Gnomish, Elvish
-Favored Class: Cleric, Paladin, and Wizard
-Level Adjustment: Unlimited leveling above level 20 for Favored Classes
Adulthood Age: 50
Simple +3d4
Moderate +1d20
Complex +4d12 (Hey, look, another use for a d12, bringing it's uses up to... 2.)
Middle aged: 250
Old: 400
Venerable: 455
Age modifier (max age and aging penalties): As Elf


Tulc

The Tulc are a rare race of half Golem, half Celestial creatures that were created by a group of elves thousands of years ago. They have exceptional psionic and arcane abilities, but are physically weak.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Tulc resemble chubby, playful Gnome-like creatures with one or more limbs being replaced with miniaturized versions of Force Golem limbs. Tulc have no hair, but have a mouth, pointy ears, incredibly large eyes, and a nose. They stand 1-2.5 feet tall and weigh 6 pounds plus 8 pounds for every Golem limb they have. Their skin can be any primary or secondary color (such as yellow, purple, blue, ect.) . Tulc are hermaphrodites and as such reproduce asexually; when a Tulc gives birth it goes into a catatonic state. A faint glow eminates from their bodies. They give verbal warning to any of it's companions before this happens, so they are not mistaken for dead. After three days, a small, bird-like egg appears within the Tulc's hands. The Tulc then wakes up and nurses the egg until it hatches. it then cares for the smaller Tulc until the Tulc reaches adulthood, at which point it becomes Independent and leaves whatever home it was raised in. Tulc seemingly give birth at will, however some choose to not give birth. Tulc can eat any form of plant life, however any kind of meat the ingest is immediately vomited, and the Tulc then suffers from days of abdominal pain. Tulc need to eat 1/4 of their body mass (not including any golem parts) a day in order to stay healthy. Amazingly, their golem limbs seem to grow with them until they reach their full height.
PERSONALITY
Tulc are whimsical and free. They are very childish, and enjoy play and fun, and bore easily. When a Tulc is forced to attack, it uses a devastating array of arcane and divine spells to heal allies and hinder enemies.
RELATIONS
Tulc are loved by all good and neutral alignments.
LANDS
Tulc usually live as pets or as adoptive children. They have no lands of their own and have no high concentration anywhere. Tulc sometimes live lives of adventurers or nomads.
RELIGION
Tulc worship any god they wish, but many choose Rem or Odin.
ALIGNMENT
Always good
LANGUAGE
Tulc speak any language that they can learn. Due to their spread out nature, this varies from Common to Elvish and sometimes even Abyssal

Racial Traits
-+4 INT, +4 DEX, +3 CHA, -4 CON, -6 STR
-Tiny
-Celestial (Augmented, Fey)
-Base land speed is 28 (-2 for every mechanical arm, +1 for every mechanical leg)
-Mixed Birth (Ex) When you create a Tulc, roll 1d4. Your roll is how many mechanical limbs your character has. You may choose which limbs are mechanical. A Tulc gains +1 strength for every mechanical arm, and +1 jump skill and base land speed for every mechanical leg.
-Adorable Presence (Su) When attacked by any direct means (magic, melee, or range/throwing attacks) by a lawful creature of any alignment, roll 1d4. If you roll 1, the attack misses. If you roll a 3, the attack's damage is reduced by 1d6.
-Spell-like abilities: 3/day: heal light wounds, inflict moderate wounds. 1/day: disintegrate, heal moderate wounds, Resurrection (cost still applies), 1/week: limited Wish, remove disease
-Automatic languages: any other than class-specific languages such as Druidic.
-Favored class: rouge, sorcerer, wizard, Psion, and SoulKnife
-Level modifier: +1
Age: As Gnome


Thanks for your time! Again, please comment on what you think and feel free to copy them down (as long as you credit me) and also, please, use them in your campaigns. If you use them in a GiantITP forum campaign please tell me here, or if the thread gets lock/deleted than PM me. Bye :biggrin:!

Gandariel
2012-06-17, 12:03 PM
Although the fluff for the races seem interesting, there are a few.. details you might want to correct


Durmal Corzsha:
Large race with LA0 ? Weird
Odd racial adjustments. They're not inherently bad, but people usually go with +2 and +4
Also, they' don't make much sense.
Usually large creatures have more Str and less Dex, for example.
Aura of law, what is it?
Devoted study: Not clearly written, the Necromancy spells thing doesn't make sense.
Also, i don't really see a Large creature, somehow dexterous and weak, spending his time studying devotely.
Inspire competance is not a spell.
more than one favored class?
i don't understand what you mean in the Level adjustment line

Tulc:
Uhm, a.. Tiny Celestial-Fey-Golem? I kinda see a problem here
Land speed is usually measured in 5-foot increments, to avoid impossible calculations.
The rest is more or less normal, except for... Spell like abilities: WHAT?!?
Disintegrate, Resurrection, Limited wish?
Why do you want to give these things to a level 2 charachter?!? (also, there is no specified CL)

I don't mean to look offensive or anything. Just giving my personal opinion, and i have no reason to offend you. But some things really need rework.

Norad906
2012-06-17, 10:43 PM
Although the fluff for the races seem interesting, there are a few.. details you might want to correct


Durmal Corzsha:
Large race with LA0 ? Weird
Odd racial adjustments. They're not inherently bad, but people usually go with +2 and +4
Also, they' don't make much sense.
Usually large creatures have more Str and less Dex, for example.
Aura of law, what is it?
Devoted study: Not clearly written, the Necromancy spells thing doesn't make sense.
Also, i don't really see a Large creature, somehow dexterous and weak, spending his time studying devotely.
Inspire competance is not a spell.
more than one favored class?
i don't understand what you mean in the Level adjustment line

Tulc:
Uhm, a.. Tiny Celestial-Fey-Golem? I kinda see a problem here
Land speed is usually measured in 5-foot increments, to avoid impossible calculations.
The rest is more or less normal, except for... Spell like abilities: WHAT?!?
Disintegrate, Resurrection, Limited wish?
Why do you want to give these things to a level 2 charachter?!? (also, there is no specified CL)

I don't mean to look offensive or anything. Just giving my personal opinion, and i have no reason to offend you. But some things really need rework.

Dude, the only way I'd be offended by a PEACH is if you aren't honest, and you were as honest as a halfling with 6 constitution and a will save of +0, 1d2 being interrogated for information by a nasty orc (Translation: very honest). I noticed the flaws myself, but the Tulc would be bait without their exceptional magical abilities. I tried to make their melee as weak as possible (if i go too hingh with constitution, somebody could roll that stat and start out with a dead character.) With the Durmal Corzsha I tried to not make a "slow" large creature. Also, any alignment aura means that detect evil or detect alignment spells receive that no matter the true alignment, but i should have said that... This is my first homebrew attempt, so don't blame me. Resurrection, as long as it's still the same cost, isn't that bad of a racial trait, especially for a celestial. Also, awesome hydralisk avatar. Thanks!

Jukebox Hero
2012-06-17, 11:25 PM
Both races seem VERY overpowered, particularly the second. Giving those spell-like abilities to a level 2 character is game-breaking. And they won't be underpowered with those racial adjustments, and especially with that "Adorable Presence." They'd make amazing rogues, bards, and arcane spellcasters. And the fluff doesn't make that much sense to me either. How can they be kept as pets if they get a +4 to intelligence? Wouldn't they see that as demeaning, and refuse to be kept as such? And the varying number of limbs is not only unorthodox, but also introduces possibilities for more game-breaking. And not that I mean to contradict the forces of magic, but life and golem-making are two completely different things. There's a reason why Warforged can't reproduce, because metal is not organic, it can't grow. This class, if you want to keep its abilities, I'd add at least +3 LA and a good number of racial hit dice for good measure.

Your first race is also rather broken. The racial adjustments aren't necessarily bad, as Gandariel said, but even-numbered racial adjustments are the standard. Also, with those racial adjustments and size, at least a +2 or +3 racial adjustment would be good, along with a couple racial hit dice. I'm just going to nit-pick a little bit, but there's a reason why larger races are stronger. They generally have more mass, which makes their blows have more force. But this isn't really a problem, nor is the fact that they're lawful tree-climbers. And if I'm not mistaken, Wee Jas is a LN deity of death and vanity, so why is necromancy not practiced/embraced? If they're against necromancy as a whole, then the Death domain isn't an option for one of their favored classes, meaning that most clerics have the same domains: Magic and Law.

An issue with both races is that they have multiple favored classes. They're only supposed to get one for a reason.

only1doug
2012-06-19, 01:59 AM
[SIZE="4"]

Tulc are hermaphrodites and as such reproduce asexually; when a Tulc gives birth it goes into a catatonic state. A faint glow eminates from their bodies. They give verbal warning to any of it's companions before this happens, so they are not mistaken for dead.
After three days, a small, bird-like egg appears within the Tulc's hands. The Tulc then wakes up and nurses the egg until it hatches.

It then cares for the smaller Tulc until the Tulc reaches adulthood, at which point it becomes Independent and leaves whatever home it was raised in.

Questions:
How long until the egg hatches after being generated?

Lifespan as Gnome: so 40 year adolesence? (seems long somehow, mainly due to the single parent carer I think.)

GnomeGninjas
2012-06-19, 06:54 AM
RACES
Durmal Corzsha
Durmal Corzsha, or just Corsha, are incredibly tall, thin humanoids that are solidly built and have wit to match. They are residents of tall forests and are very uncomfortable in dense urban environments.
Personality
Corzsha are mild mannered and gentle, and as a result most people like them. Most have very good hearts, but all dislike chaos and destruction. They speak slowly and carefully whenever possible, and most do not mind repeating themselves.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Durmal Corzsha stand at over 9 feet tall and weigh about 300 pounds. They resemble a cross between a feline and a bovine creature, with long snouts and have very short and very light brown fur on their faces. The rest of their fur is darkish brown or brownish purple, and while their body fur is short, monthly grooming is a symbol of good class.
RELATIONS
Corzsha get along very well with individuals of any race with a lawful alignment, but naturally distrust any form of orc.
ALIGNMENT
Always, always, ALWAYS lawful. Evil Corzsha is rare but existent.
LANDS
They have no race-oriented government or nation, but many forested lands contain high amounts of Corzsha population. All-Corzsha Hamlets or Towns are usually next to Elven lands.
RELIGION
Most worship Wee Jas, but they have been known to worship lawful gods, such as St. Cutherbert or Rem
LANGUAGE
They have no race-specific language. They are traditionally taught Common, [Gnomish, and Elven.
U]Racial Traits[/U]
- +2 Dexterity, +1 Intelligence, +2 Wisdom, +1 Charisma -2 Strength
-Large Humanoid
-Base land speed is 30
-Aura of Law (Su)
-Tree-Climber (Na) Corzsha are natural tree climbers, and gain a +5 on all climbing skill checks. As long as a Corzsha is carrying a medium or light load, treat its climbing skill as +3 it's natural amount. This ability allows for a skill over the current max, even if it is a cross class skill. Any effect that negatively affects climbing skill or dexterity negates this ability.
I don't quite get this. They get a +5 bonus on climb, but if they are carrying medium or light loads the get an extra +3 bonus?
-Law-Tongue (Ex) Corzsha gain a +4 on diplomacy checks to lawful characters. Corzsha always suffer a -3 penalty to intimidate checks to any alignment.
-Devoted Study (Ex) If a Corzsha becomes a Wizard, if he chooses to specialize in any school other than Divination or Necromancy, you only need to forbid one school. A Corzsha cannot specialize in Neccromancy, but can still cast Necromancy Spells of one less than his current level.
I don't get the point of this, and it seems somewhat overpowered.
-Spell-like abilities: 1/week Remove Disease, Inspire Competence
Inspire competence isn't a spell.
-Automatic languages: Common Bonus languages: Gnomish, Elvish
You should have more bonus languages so a high int character won't run out.
-Favored Class: Cleric, Paladin, and Wizard
-Level Adjustment: Unlimited leveling above level 20 for Favored Classes
This isn't how level adjustment works and it doesn't make sense.
Adulthood Age: 50
Simple +3d4
Moderate +1d20
Complex +4d12 (Hey, look, another use for a d12, bringing it's uses up to... 2.)
Middle aged: 250
Old: 400
Venerable: 455
Age modifier (max age and aging penalties): As Elf


Tulc

The Tulc are a rare race of half Golem, half Celestial creatures that were created by a group of elves thousands of years ago. They have exceptional psionic and arcane abilities, but are physically weak.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Tulc resemble chubby, playful Gnome-like creatures with one or more limbs being replaced with miniaturized versions of Force Golem limbs. Tulc have no hair, but have a mouth, pointy ears, incredibly large eyes, and a nose. They stand 1-2.5 feet tall and weigh 6 pounds plus 8 pounds for every Golem limb they have. Their skin can be any primary or secondary color (such as yellow, purple, blue, ect.) . Tulc are hermaphrodites and as such reproduce asexually; when a Tulc gives birth it goes into a catatonic state. A faint glow eminates from their bodies. They give verbal warning to any of it's companions before this happens, so they are not mistaken for dead. After three days, a small, bird-like egg appears within the Tulc's hands. The Tulc then wakes up and nurses the egg until it hatches. it then cares for the smaller Tulc until the Tulc reaches adulthood, at which point it becomes Independent and leaves whatever home it was raised in. Tulc seemingly give birth at will, however some choose to not give birth. Tulc can eat any form of plant life, however any kind of meat the ingest is immediately vomited, and the Tulc then suffers from days of abdominal pain. Tulc need to eat 1/4 of their body mass (not including any golem parts) a day in order to stay healthy. Amazingly, their golem limbs seem to grow with them until they reach their full height.
PERSONALITY
Tulc are whimsical and free. They are very childish, and enjoy play and fun, and bore easily. When a Tulc is forced to attack, it uses a devastating array of arcane and divine spells to heal allies and hinder enemies.
RELATIONS
Tulc are loved by all good and neutral alignments.
LANDS
Tulc usually live as pets or as adoptive children. They have no lands of their own and have no high concentration anywhere. Tulc sometimes live lives of adventurers or nomads.
Why are they pets? They are intelligent.
RELIGION
Tulc worship any god they wish, but many choose Rem or Odin.
ALIGNMENT
Always good
LANGUAGE
Tulc speak any language that they can learn. Due to their spread out nature, this varies from Common to Elvish and sometimes even Abyssal

Racial Traits
-+4 INT, +4 DEX, +3 CHA, -4 CON, -6 STR
-Tiny
-Celestial (Augmented, Fey)
-Base land speed is 28 (-2 for every mechanical arm, +1 for every mechanical leg)
Since movment in d20 is based on multiples of five this doesn't work.
-Mixed Birth (Ex) When you create a Tulc, roll 1d4. Your roll is how many mechanical limbs your character has. You may choose which limbs are mechanical. A Tulc gains +1 strength for every mechanical arm, and +1 jump skill and base land speed for every mechanical leg.
Arms are just better than legs.
-Adorable Presence (Su) When attacked by any direct means (magic, melee, or range/throwing attacks) by a lawful creature of any alignment, roll 1d4. If you roll 1, the attack misses. If you roll a 3, the attack's damage is reduced by 1d6.
This seems over poweredish and kinda pointless
-Spell-like abilities: 3/day: heal light wounds, inflict moderate wounds. 1/day: disintegrate, heal moderate wounds, Resurrection (cost still applies), 1/week: limited Wish, remove disease
You don't give resurrection, disintegrate, inflict moderate wounds, and limited wish to 2nd level characters! Its overpowered.
-Automatic languages: any other than class-specific languages such as Druidic.
That gives the player all the languages, I hope your aware of it.
-Favored class: rouge, sorcerer, wizard, Psion, and SoulKnife
-Level modifier Adjustment: +1

That is far to low.

Age: As Gnome


Replies in bold.

Norad906
2012-06-19, 11:55 AM
Questions:
How long until the egg hatches after being generated?

Lifespan as Gnome: so 40 year adolesence? (seems long somehow, mainly due to the single parent carer I think.)

They're just like Gnomes. Egg germination lasts 3 days. Also, the elves that created them (mostly for grunt work) based them on gnomes (don't worry; they didn't make Gnomes into Tulc, they... i don't know, magically cloned them) so that fit. They are also natural cooks

Kazyan
2012-06-19, 04:30 PM
What's the caster level on those spell-like abilities? There's a huge difference between CL 4 (deliberately unoptimized Sublime Chord entry) and CL 20 for a Disintegrate.

Norad906
2012-06-19, 07:31 PM
What's the caster level on those spell-like abilities? There's a huge difference between CL 4 (deliberately unoptimized Sublime Chord entry) and CL 20 for a Disintegrate.

As character level, didn't i say that? Wait, no i didn't. shoot. Correcting.

GnomeGninjas
2012-06-20, 05:55 AM
As character level, didn't i say that? Wait, no i didn't. shoot. Correcting.

It doesn't look corrected, have you made any adjustments bases on our input at all?

Gandariel
2012-06-20, 08:39 AM
It doesn't look corrected, have you made any adjustments bases on our input at all?

Considering that our imput is mostly along the lines of "this needs serious rework"..

Norad906
2012-06-20, 02:00 PM
Considering that our imput is mostly along the lines of "this needs serious rework"..

I just decided to forget about these because they're my first attempt and they're vastly unfixable. But thanks for the PEACH, i'll try to do better next time.

only1doug
2012-07-02, 06:35 AM
Tulc


Racial Traits
-+4 INT, +4 DEX, +3 CHA, -4 CON, -6 STR
-Tiny
-Celestial (Augmented, Fey)

OK so Far.


-Base land speed is 20' (+5' for every mechanical leg)
-Mixed Birth (Ex) When you create a Tulc, roll 1d4. Your roll is how many mechanical limbs your character has. You may choose which limbs are mechanical. A Tulc gains +1 strength for every mechanical arm, and +1 jump skill and +5' base land speed for every mechanical leg.

Reworked for 5' increments


-Adorable Presence (Su) When attacked by any direct means (magic, melee, or range/throwing attacks) by a lawful creature of any alignment, roll 1d4. If you roll 1, the attack misses. If you roll a 3, the attack's damage is reduced by 1d6.

Displacement (SLA) at will (like a Pixies invisibilty but with displacer beast displacement instead)

-Spell-like abilities:

3/day:
(a choice of either)
heal light wounds,
inflict moderate wounds.
(to be chosen at character creation)

1/day:
(choose one of)
heal moderate wounds,
Inflict Critical wounds
(to be chosen at character creation)

1/week:
limited Wish,
Resurrection (cost still applies),
remove disease
disintegrate (can be obtained through limited wish, remove from list)



-Automatic languages: any other than class-specific languages such as Druidic.
-Favored class: sorcerer, wizard, Psion, SoulKnife and rouge (Rogue).
-Level modifier: +2
Age: As Gnome

LA increased due to sla's.

Zale
2012-07-02, 07:51 AM
Tiny and have a +4 bonus to int... and Dex..

Not to mention the SLAs..

They'd be tiny wizard GODS.

Norad906
2012-07-02, 11:09 AM
Tulc


Racial Traits
-+4 INT, +4 DEX, +3 CHA, -4 CON, -6 STR
-Tiny
-Celestial (Augmented, Fey)

OK so Far.


-Base land speed is 20' (+5' for every mechanical leg)
-Mixed Birth (Ex) When you create a Tulc, roll 1d4. Your roll is how many mechanical limbs your character has. You may choose which limbs are mechanical. A Tulc gains +1 strength for every mechanical arm, and +1 jump skill and +5' base land speed for every mechanical leg.

Reworked for 5' increments


-Adorable Presence (Su) When attacked by any direct means (magic, melee, or range/throwing attacks) by a lawful creature of any alignment, roll 1d4. If you roll 1, the attack misses. If you roll a 3, the attack's damage is reduced by 1d6.

Displacement (SLA) at will (like a Pixies invisibilty but with displacer beast displacement instead)

-Spell-like abilities:

3/day:
(a choice of either)
heal light wounds,
inflict moderate wounds.
(to be chosen at character creation)

1/day:
(choose one of)
heal moderate wounds,
Inflict Critical wounds
(to be chosen at character creation)

1/week:
limited Wish,
Resurrection (cost still applies),
remove disease
disintegrate (can be obtained through limited wish, remove from list)



-Automatic languages: any other than class-specific languages such as Druidic.
-Favored class: sorcerer, wizard, Psion, SoulKnife and rouge (Rogue).
-Level modifier: +2
Age: As Gnome

LA increased due to sla's.

Epic. That /somewhat/ fixed Tulc. They're still a broken first-attempt race that I choose to forget about and try to make better stuff in the future, but this... i can work with this FTTB. Why is there no thumbs up emote...?