[PF] Maximum Ridiculosity Challenge - Can you build it?

[Malacode]

First of all: What is the most ridiculous character you have ever played/come up with? Silliness wins the day here.

A friend of mine is running a dungeon for another friend and I. She's asked for level 10 gestalt characters to put through it, though not too broken. So, in order to divert resources away from high-powered gishes and crazy-strong casters and with the spirit of Beary Mc Bearington, the Psionic Sandwich (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/archive/index.php?t-109072.html) and The Jumplomancer (http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19870138/The_Jumplomancer_-_are_you_serious) in mind, the team is going to be built with Maximum Ridiculosity in mind. The core tenet of The Path of Maximum Ridiculosity is that Rule of Funny is God (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfFunny).
My friend and I have traded character concepts. He is to build a Monk//Staff Magus that uses a long Immovable Rod as a weapon. I am to build a handkerchief that turns into a sneak-attacker. The game plan? Be thrown at an opponent as part of a feint, then suddenly be a creature of stabbity death... At least until the fight is over. After that, I'm just a handkerchief

The Challenge: Is there any way to turn into a construct? Wildshape, spells, anything? In 3.5 there was Kensai with the Folding weapon quality, or polymorph spells. In Pathfinder, I can't quite work out how to do it.

Edit: The current method is Wildshape into something Tiny, then Disguise myself as a Diminutive Handkerchief (-10 penalty, which is easily overcome at level 10)

[doko239]

Use Construct Creation rules to create an Animated Object (Handkerchief). Your handkerchief is now technically a creature, and can be subject to Marionette Possession, a 3rd level Sorc/Wizard spell from Ultimate Magic that allows you to take control of one willing creature. You retain your mental stats and class abilities, while gaining the physical stats and natural abilities of the creature you're controlling.

A 10th-level Gestalt Wizard/Rogue or Sorcerer/Rogue should fit the bill nicely.

Edit: For silliness, I think my favorite character was for an entirely different system: Shadowrun 4th ed. I called it the Horseman of the Apocalypse.

Details as follows:
There's a vehicle in the Arsenal book called the Horseman. Basically a 3-wheeled Segway with a bubble canopy. The stats on this thing were terrible, but it had a few points in its favor:

- One of the standard upgrades gave it additional Body stat (which translates into additional Modification slots), as well as two free robotic arms.
- It's small enough to fit through doors, in elevators, etc.

Through massive exploitation of the vehicle modification rules, I ended up giving this thing legs, massive armoring and enough weapons to outfit a small country. Now I have my own Battlemech! :smallcool: I then put in some Magesight Goggles leading to a pinhole on the outer hull, so that a Magician could ride inside and spellcast while the Horseman fired its weapons autonomously.

The kicker was, everything was legal at character-creation, I.E. I could have this monstrosity from the word go. :smallbiggrin:

Needless to say, the GM said no. :smallfrown:

[D@rK-SePHiRoTH-]

Vow of poverty Phrenic Warforged

Do the following:
-Hulking Hurler
-Bloodstorm Blade
-Dungeoncrasher
-Warforged Juggernaut

No equipment, just a soccerball made of stone

What you do:
-Use Fission
-Throw your copy as high as you can
-Your copy launches the ball from above
-The ball (now a +5 stone soccerball) can be used to Bull Rush thanks to Bloodstorm Blade
-Being above the enemy will allow you to bull rush them into the ground
-Bull rush will deal 4xstrength + armor spikes damage (dungeoncrasher + juggernaut)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xeH4wWi15M#t=0m22s
(can't find it in English)

[Eurus]

Vow of poverty Phrenic Warforged

Do the following:
-Hulking Hurler
-Bloodstorm Blade
-Dungeoncrasher
-Warforged Juggernaut

No equipment, just a soccerball made of stone

What you do:
-Use Fission
-Throw your copy as high as you can
-Your copy launches the ball from above
-The ball (now a +5 stone soccerball) can be used to Bull Rush thanks to Bloodstorm Blade
-Being above the enemy will allow you to bull rush them into the ground
-Bull rush will deal 4xstrength + armor spikes damage (dungeoncrasher + juggernaut)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xeH4wWi15M#t=0m22s
(can't find it in English)

Then exploit the falling damage rules by landing on them! :smallbiggrin:

[kardar233]

Play Gazebo Jones (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9823824&postcount=132). Alter Self into furniture, then throw yourself at people as a Bloodstorm Blade with an Improvised Weapon.

[Malroth]

Gnome, bard try to be taken seriously.

[D@rK-SePHiRoTH-]

More fun with bloodstorm blade:

Buy as many +1 fleshgrinding daggers as you can
Throw them all with Quick Draw + TwF at a single target
Thrown weapons are treated as melee attacks, fleshgrinding is activated
Go away, the weapons will kill the target

This is a combo on its own, but here is the funny part:

Make the daggers "lifedrinker"
Name your character Bulbasaur
And yell "leech seed" when throwing daggers

Bonus points if:
-necklace of natural attacks (throwing, returning)
-Empathic transfer (hostile)
=
Absorb

[grarrrg]

First, a pity you've already settled on "Sneakerchief", I had some ideas lying around that might have fit "ridiculous" (seriously, just search the forums...).



Edit: The current method is Wildshape into something Tiny, then Disguise myself as a Diminutive Handkerchief (-10 penalty, which is easily overcome at level 10)

Is 3rd party allowed?
Kvals (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/races/3rd-party-races/alluria-publishing/kval) are Tiny already. But they have Big Hands, and Big Feet (if you catch my drift).
That is, they can use Small weapons, and still move 20ft. round. What were you thinking?

Also, they are inherently Poisonous, try to find a way to MAKE the enemies eat you!!

[Malroth]

More fun with bloodstorm blade:

Buy as many +1 fleshgrinding daggers as you can
Throw them all with Quick Draw + TwF at a single target
Thrown weapons are treated as melee attacks, fleshgrinding is activated
Go away, the weapons will kill the target

This is a combo on its own, but here is the funny part:

Make the daggers "lifedrinker"
Name your character Bulbasaur
And yell "leech seed" when throwing daggers

Bonus points if:
-necklace of natural attacks (throwing, returning)
-Empathic transfer (hostile)
=
Absorb

I think Dark Sepiroth has just won this thread

[maximus25]

I'm currently playing in a PF game where I'm a halfling ninja.

One time we were faced with a dragon. We couldn't fight it, and the city we were in was collapsing and being filled with molten gold. Looks like we're dead, right? Wrong. Everyone into my bag of holding, I'mma jump this dragon. 8 ki points to increase speed by 260 feet. 280 feet movement speed, Acrobatics is increased through the roof, jump the dragon, while in the air, dragon swipes at me, knocks me unconscious. I hit the ground hard, people fly out of my bag, grab me, they run.

Most epic moment in our game.

[RndmNumGen]

I'm currently playing in a PF game where I'm a halfling ninja.

One time we were faced with a dragon. We couldn't fight it, and the city we were in was collapsing and being filled with molten gold. Looks like we're dead, right? Wrong. Everyone into my bag of holding, I'mma jump this dragon. 8 ki points to increase speed by 260 feet. 280 feet movement speed, Acrobatics is increased through the roof, jump the dragon, while in the air, dragon swipes at me, knocks me unconscious. I hit the ground hard, people fly out of my bag, grab me, they run.

Most epic moment in our game.

City of Golden Death?

[maximus25]

City of Golden Death?

I think so. Everything is gold, but after three days the gates close and if you don't get out then you die from molten gold rivers.

[Ninja PieKing]

Female Pixie weresquirel with cocanut bra made from walnuts or
7 charisma female halforc bard with perform (stripdance) and perform (didgerydoo) who only wears a chainmail thong and squirel tail tassles

[dspeyer]

It might help if you wildshape into something sort of tissue-like. Perhaps a jellyfish.

Wildshape has per-day limits, so perhaps instead a were-jellyfish.

Were-jellyfish are extremely rare because the condition is spread by biting and jellyfish have no teeth. Only were-jellyfish capable of casting Bite of the Were-X spells can spread their condition.

Is that silly enough?

[doko239]

Nudist dwarf druid. Hairier than his animal companion.