Lord Raziere
2012-07-08, 05:31 PM
I think its time to make Halflings awesome. (for gnomes, you can replace all instances of "halfling" with "gnome".)
Ahem.
In Nerimasa, its all about style.
Cause being a halfling, is all about style. Dwarves may have guts, Elves amy have smarts, Humans may have versatility, but Halflings. Have. Style.
In Nerimasa, the arts are adored. For example, in one city the Mayor solved the poor people problem, by giving them all jobs and training to provide background music for the entire city, including to adjust for the time of day, location, mood and sudden outbreaks of action. They also serve as an orchestra during their plays.
In another illusionists are employed to put up fanciful illusions everywhere to entertain people with recorded stories- they are known as Magi-Plays, and they are viewed as Holy to halflings- for they are the only time when halflings stand at rapt attention and completely silent. Speak a single word to interrupt said Magi-Play, and it will pause, and all the Halflings with rotate to look at you, then throw you out. They then will resume watching as if nothing happened. It is after all, a sin to speak a word in church when the Magi-Play is playing.
In yet another city, halflings parade their various fashions and accessories everywhere, showing off their outlandish clothing and making them into living art pieces, some even using strange enchantments to make the clothing possible, from wearing a hat with an illusionary flame on it, to an animate wolf mask, to wearing centaur pants whose animate legs match your front legs movement so it looks like your a real centaur. It is also the city of disguise, and where many criminals go to hide and reinvent themselves so as to evade the authorities.
While the Halflings aren't as good at architecture as dwarves, they are however, much more superb at decoration. They gladly bedeck everything in the most colorful and festive of decorations all the time, for whatever holiday they celebrate. They make sure each and every room is something worth remembering.
The only place that cannot be considered a fabulous city of such decoration, is the city of comedy. By halfling standards its run down, askew and asymmetrical. Thats the joke. The King of Comedy rules the city, wearing the most ridiculous crown you ever seen, the most ridiculous garments ever known and intentionally speaks like some weird high-pitched nobility and makes strange laws that make little sense, if any. Thats the joke. Many halflings live poor lives in ramshackle neighborhood intentionally made so and periodically trades places with the King of Comedy and yet they are still happy and laugh. That is the joke. People who come to this city are often greeted by a bunch of jokes at their expense and if they are stick in the muds about it, they get sent to the Labyrinth of Hilarity where they face an endless number of harmless practical jokes. That is the punishment for coming to the city of comedy without your sense of humor.
The King of Comedy, of course, does not hold any real power That is the joke. Everything is a joke in the city of comedy.
The halflings surprisingly have a strong valiant warrior subculture. They just aren't armored brutes wielding giant weapons. They lithe rapier-wielding swordsmen. The strongest of them wear chain armor under their stylish clothes while they prance about, making sure to present as small a target as possible to their enemies while they duck, weave, dodge and strike at opportune times to defeat their opponents. Such Swordlings as they call themselves, have codes of honor to their fellow being that they always make sure to follow. The Swordlings in general have a romantic view on fighting, adventuring and generally doing things outside of normal society.
Most-to-all halfling cities are on the coast, and therefore the Swordlings find themselves protecting their merchants ships from pirates, and even the halfling military keeps itself looking presentable and stylish in their uniforms, sabers and foils they wield, however said military mostly consists of the navy. Due to their smaller size, halflings find it easier to fight in close quarters on ships against larger foes due to the cramped conditions.
Halfling stylishness however shines in one field even greater: the halflings make great politicians. They often know what their people want, they know how to present their ideas and sell them. Their political conferences are often stylish shows unto themselves, turning boring political debates into epic battles of thunderous declarations, fiery speeches and even turning oddly enough into intense philosophical discussions, complete with illusions and music to match the mood.
If a halfling does not become a successful politician in his own society, he will in all likelihood find a non-halfling one where does easily. Their diplomats make all others pale in comparison, and such diplomacy is why halfling cities are rarely attacked- even by monstrous things like orcs, trolls and ogres.
There is even one legend where a band of barbarian orcish raiders tried to raid a city during a halfling festival….and when they got there, they were greeted warmly and presented food and drink to them with happy smiles on their face as they celebrated, and the orcs dropped their weapons and joined in.
This doesn't always work of course, and the halfling military was never that good. The city of comedy was once the city of satire, much more higher class and clever, but after one witty humiliation of a prideful human king, he became enraged and used an army to ransack it and burn most of it to the ground, and thus when halflings returned it was only rebuilt as the city of comedy, an organization of halflings work to return it to being the City of Satire once more, but progress is slow.
The city of food however is filled with restaurants and chefs to delight the tastebuds, with from every culture and people, modified and experimented with to create even more food, including an entire Cook Library, where all the books are cookbooks. There are even magical foods and ways of preparation that result food that tastes like no other…..in your ears, while your tongue hears the crunch as you bite it. Yes they invented food that you taste with your ears and hear with your mouth. They also invented drinks that taste like numbers. Don't drink the Zero Tonic though, it kills you instantly and is the forbidden drink. The Number One however, is very popular as it makes you feel like your Number One.
It is also the city of drugs. Most of the drug smuggling trade goes through here, and this city has a lot of magical drug-empowered halfling criminals in the bad neighborhoods, and the city watch has trouble dealing with them.
And finally there is the capital of all this, Neritopolis, where each district is a small version of all the others and contains people from everywhere, a very accepting city where the dramatic always happens. Neritopolians always strive to be dramatic in their lives everyday, treating daily problems as great epic challenges of heroes, every little failure as an overblown tragedy, and every success as a cheerful happy ending to a story. The halflings of Neritopolis live their life to the fullest and acting as if they are protagonists to their own little stories. When one walks into this city, one feels like they are in a play, and one looks at map, they realize that the entire city is set up like a stage for every single halfling with their roles to play. Some rich people even hire narrators for their life.
Of course, what happens in Nerimasa, stays in Nerimasa. The Halflings have learned over a long period of time that the world outside these cities consider much of what they do disruptive to daily life where people aren't being happy and living it up in cities of music, poetry and celebration.
Therefore most halflings when they venture outside, make sure to tone things down when in other cities. However to the more socially focused, this is not much of a problem- such halflings are adept at adapting to other cultures and spreading a little Nerimasan joy everywhere. People pay good money for halfling musicians, bands, artists, clothiers, hair stylists, sculptors, salesmen, chefs…..
Ahem.
In Nerimasa, its all about style.
Cause being a halfling, is all about style. Dwarves may have guts, Elves amy have smarts, Humans may have versatility, but Halflings. Have. Style.
In Nerimasa, the arts are adored. For example, in one city the Mayor solved the poor people problem, by giving them all jobs and training to provide background music for the entire city, including to adjust for the time of day, location, mood and sudden outbreaks of action. They also serve as an orchestra during their plays.
In another illusionists are employed to put up fanciful illusions everywhere to entertain people with recorded stories- they are known as Magi-Plays, and they are viewed as Holy to halflings- for they are the only time when halflings stand at rapt attention and completely silent. Speak a single word to interrupt said Magi-Play, and it will pause, and all the Halflings with rotate to look at you, then throw you out. They then will resume watching as if nothing happened. It is after all, a sin to speak a word in church when the Magi-Play is playing.
In yet another city, halflings parade their various fashions and accessories everywhere, showing off their outlandish clothing and making them into living art pieces, some even using strange enchantments to make the clothing possible, from wearing a hat with an illusionary flame on it, to an animate wolf mask, to wearing centaur pants whose animate legs match your front legs movement so it looks like your a real centaur. It is also the city of disguise, and where many criminals go to hide and reinvent themselves so as to evade the authorities.
While the Halflings aren't as good at architecture as dwarves, they are however, much more superb at decoration. They gladly bedeck everything in the most colorful and festive of decorations all the time, for whatever holiday they celebrate. They make sure each and every room is something worth remembering.
The only place that cannot be considered a fabulous city of such decoration, is the city of comedy. By halfling standards its run down, askew and asymmetrical. Thats the joke. The King of Comedy rules the city, wearing the most ridiculous crown you ever seen, the most ridiculous garments ever known and intentionally speaks like some weird high-pitched nobility and makes strange laws that make little sense, if any. Thats the joke. Many halflings live poor lives in ramshackle neighborhood intentionally made so and periodically trades places with the King of Comedy and yet they are still happy and laugh. That is the joke. People who come to this city are often greeted by a bunch of jokes at their expense and if they are stick in the muds about it, they get sent to the Labyrinth of Hilarity where they face an endless number of harmless practical jokes. That is the punishment for coming to the city of comedy without your sense of humor.
The King of Comedy, of course, does not hold any real power That is the joke. Everything is a joke in the city of comedy.
The halflings surprisingly have a strong valiant warrior subculture. They just aren't armored brutes wielding giant weapons. They lithe rapier-wielding swordsmen. The strongest of them wear chain armor under their stylish clothes while they prance about, making sure to present as small a target as possible to their enemies while they duck, weave, dodge and strike at opportune times to defeat their opponents. Such Swordlings as they call themselves, have codes of honor to their fellow being that they always make sure to follow. The Swordlings in general have a romantic view on fighting, adventuring and generally doing things outside of normal society.
Most-to-all halfling cities are on the coast, and therefore the Swordlings find themselves protecting their merchants ships from pirates, and even the halfling military keeps itself looking presentable and stylish in their uniforms, sabers and foils they wield, however said military mostly consists of the navy. Due to their smaller size, halflings find it easier to fight in close quarters on ships against larger foes due to the cramped conditions.
Halfling stylishness however shines in one field even greater: the halflings make great politicians. They often know what their people want, they know how to present their ideas and sell them. Their political conferences are often stylish shows unto themselves, turning boring political debates into epic battles of thunderous declarations, fiery speeches and even turning oddly enough into intense philosophical discussions, complete with illusions and music to match the mood.
If a halfling does not become a successful politician in his own society, he will in all likelihood find a non-halfling one where does easily. Their diplomats make all others pale in comparison, and such diplomacy is why halfling cities are rarely attacked- even by monstrous things like orcs, trolls and ogres.
There is even one legend where a band of barbarian orcish raiders tried to raid a city during a halfling festival….and when they got there, they were greeted warmly and presented food and drink to them with happy smiles on their face as they celebrated, and the orcs dropped their weapons and joined in.
This doesn't always work of course, and the halfling military was never that good. The city of comedy was once the city of satire, much more higher class and clever, but after one witty humiliation of a prideful human king, he became enraged and used an army to ransack it and burn most of it to the ground, and thus when halflings returned it was only rebuilt as the city of comedy, an organization of halflings work to return it to being the City of Satire once more, but progress is slow.
The city of food however is filled with restaurants and chefs to delight the tastebuds, with from every culture and people, modified and experimented with to create even more food, including an entire Cook Library, where all the books are cookbooks. There are even magical foods and ways of preparation that result food that tastes like no other…..in your ears, while your tongue hears the crunch as you bite it. Yes they invented food that you taste with your ears and hear with your mouth. They also invented drinks that taste like numbers. Don't drink the Zero Tonic though, it kills you instantly and is the forbidden drink. The Number One however, is very popular as it makes you feel like your Number One.
It is also the city of drugs. Most of the drug smuggling trade goes through here, and this city has a lot of magical drug-empowered halfling criminals in the bad neighborhoods, and the city watch has trouble dealing with them.
And finally there is the capital of all this, Neritopolis, where each district is a small version of all the others and contains people from everywhere, a very accepting city where the dramatic always happens. Neritopolians always strive to be dramatic in their lives everyday, treating daily problems as great epic challenges of heroes, every little failure as an overblown tragedy, and every success as a cheerful happy ending to a story. The halflings of Neritopolis live their life to the fullest and acting as if they are protagonists to their own little stories. When one walks into this city, one feels like they are in a play, and one looks at map, they realize that the entire city is set up like a stage for every single halfling with their roles to play. Some rich people even hire narrators for their life.
Of course, what happens in Nerimasa, stays in Nerimasa. The Halflings have learned over a long period of time that the world outside these cities consider much of what they do disruptive to daily life where people aren't being happy and living it up in cities of music, poetry and celebration.
Therefore most halflings when they venture outside, make sure to tone things down when in other cities. However to the more socially focused, this is not much of a problem- such halflings are adept at adapting to other cultures and spreading a little Nerimasan joy everywhere. People pay good money for halfling musicians, bands, artists, clothiers, hair stylists, sculptors, salesmen, chefs…..